Quite common occurrence under the guise of upbringing, education, training, etc. Alice Miller is still unsurpassed in breaking down this topic. Her insights inspired a lot of others such as Pete Walker.
I want to reference the Bible to best describe the intentions of a malignant narcissist - 1 Peter 5:8, which says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour".
Machiavelli wrote in his work the “Prince” A lion can’t recognize traps, and a fox has the intelligence to avoid traps but can’t defend itself against wolves. Therefore one must be both a lion to scare away a pack of wolves and a fox to avoid traps. If you can’t be both … be the fox.
The ultimate description of Satan and, not so coincidentally, the narcissist: John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Mine (who sadly I have no choice but to live with unless I feel led otherwise by Holy Spirit, TOLD ME to my face he has not ONE OUNCE of empathy for me But he does for other people. Believe me, that is not true, he only cares about himself! They are pure hateful evil beings. I refuse to qualify him as a "man"
@@becky54321I don't know what sort of relationship you have,romantic or family but God already made it clear in the scripture that believers are to have nothing to do with those sorts of people,if they refuse to be sorry and change,then avoid like the plague I'd say.
@@karriesaunders8597 Married. Almost 52 years. I didn’t realize what it was till almost 15 years ago. In name only as far as “married”. I stay as far away from him as I can. God also hates divorce and he has no plans on leaving. If he did I would do what the Bible says and LET HIM GO!
Don't ever underestimate what they are capable of doing. I've found they are capable of Anything - including murder. Many have absolutely NO limits to what they will do. Pure evil..
@@cindylong624 I hope you reported that as a terroristic threat. What could that possibly have been a response to? I mean, did he just randomly lay it out?
They know what they’re doing. My Sociopath played me for ten years. Now that I have the KNOWLEDGE I see it 👀s wide open. I grew up in a Narcissistic crockpot. I loved this man with all my heart. Helped him financially, helped his three adult children and two grandkids. I was manipulated on the highest level. Forgive yourselves. God gives you Grace. I NOW see these manipulations in so many people. It’s not easy but I’ve got this. I choose who to trust.
@@MoJo-eb4lt I have seen them all. I continue to watch them after 2 years No Contact. I think she is the best of her field on You Tube. Her spiritual angle is so spot on. She has helped me so much.
There is always a sadistic component to narcissistic disorder/illness/evil spirit. It's not just that they know they're hurting you but they enjoy the pain they inflict.
The narcissist Knows their Game ,their problem & nightmare starts at the point When YOU KNOW WHAT they are.😊 That's the justice. GOD knows best how to deal with them, don't waste anymore of your time. ❤ Thank YOU PAULA🎉🎉🎉
I completely agree. When we know what they are then we instantly gain control. We don’t even have to say it, they feel it. They must know that feeling - when someone finds out then their shame sets in.
God is LONG SUFFERING. Ecclesiastes 8:11 King James Version 11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
@@teresadias8370 Jude 1:9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.
I tell people I know what they are. I tell them I don't care what they are/how they operate if they leave me out of their crazy BS. That actually works.
You can bet your ass that they know exactly what they are doing. I did not know until the God-Awful DISCARD. I have been on a rollercoaster of recovery, and it is the knowledge that I have received on your channel that has removed the veal from my eyes. Thank God for people like you. God Bless you and Remy
@glennhemingway8747 same here buddy. Love somebody with all your heart after love bombing, then get devalued and triangulated, then thrown away like garbage. Leaves the head spinning. Went no contact 8 days ago, recd 1 hoover so far on the 7th day, holding strong so far. But what they do to the mind of the target is unreal. I love her, she has no love, I use empathy, she has none, seems was all about some sick control stuff and personal degradation...very bizarre condition they have. It's like devils walking around among us
Any interaction with a narcissist will come back to haunt you and make life a misery. They set you up in so many different ways. Modern day vampires that suck your life from you. The further you get away from these creatures, the weaker they get and the stronger you become.
Although I feel forever grateful for having escaped the death grip of a narcissist, I continue to educate myself and be inspired by this channel because Paula (and Remy) continuously remind me that narcissists are a threat to society and they need to be held accountable.
The narcissist sees you from the start as someone to be exploited and then defeated or conquered. Excellent to ask "what do they want." One narcissist that I know and can't totally avoid recently expressed their approval at something I had done -- and I thought, oh that's the parent-controlling-the-child dynamic, or a pet-the-dog-on-the-head move, "so get back under my influence, I just threw you a crumb, to show you how 'nice' I am." The ball is always in play.
Them creeps wouldn't care if they put someone in a suicidal ideation. Nothing you could ever do for them is ever enough doesnt matter what it is,they live an existence not a life. Where all just objects to narcissists,until we lose our shine.
Yes, I have experienced that before with the exnarc. They always belittle you and tell you either subtly or directly that you are better off not alive. I choose life and my sanity and health over them and their abusive antics!
They'll drive you to your death and come to your funeral and play victim, it's uncanny. They're the people of the lie. Once you manage to fit the pieces of the puzzle together, then you realize how much dangerous it is.
George K Simon ( In Sheep's Clothing) nails it when he says, if they didn't know that what they were doing was harmful ( deceptive,diabolical, illegal, immoral etc..) then they wouldn't need to reframe, twist, fabricate, lie or blame shift the behavior! 💥
Thankyou for your insight. Ladies and gentleman please leave those relationships, and don’t feel bad. They will try to destroy you and any light within you with verbal abuse and make you feel so lonely with their mean behaviour. You deserve to exist as peacefully as possible with loved ones. Have high standards from the beginning to avoid them. Wishing you joy and peace in all your journeys ❤️
Yes, we must hold the narcissist accountable. Their biggest weapon is to not take responsibility for anything, to be jealous of others and to hate you for being independent of them. Don’t let them suck you dry.
I dealt with two of these evil bastardz - the first was an overt - the second was a covert - they left a trail of destruction - I'm still dealing with 24 years down the road
My sister was one and my ex is one. I'm rid of them both now, thankfully and I'm aware of these people now. They're evil and should be avoided at all costs
@@MoJo-eb4lt don't give up, these people are so evil, they don't care about you. You have to put your safety first and heal. They only get worse as time goes on. Take care
With my very last narcissist, (and there have been many, starting with my mom) I walked away after the first hoover attempt. Considering I didn't know what a narcissist was until 2 months after he walked out on me, I count that as a major win. Not bad for an old lady like me.
I did this also. I've been going through the smear campaign and dealing with the flying monkeys at work for over a year now. I'm a very strong person and refuse to let them win.
Everytime i wanted to speak about the cruelty and asked her to stop with the physical abuse... It was either all my fault or i wasnt suppose to speak about it. The abuse never stopped, just became worse and became almost fatal for my health and well-being. Thank you for the information you post ❤
Good for you! My dad went to his grave never knowing or understanding what was really going on with my mother, and I am pretty sure he died way too early as a result of the stress of that life with her. Like Harry Windsor.
It’s fascinating, Paula. Mine pointed out to me “you care” in the very beginning. It’s the one thing they spot and look for. He got himself into a range of situations with work mainly and was unable to hold a job. He would cry to me and weirdly shout out “I know who I am”. He discarded me ultimately and when I think he knew I had discovered the truth. He threw his caregiver away essentially, hoovered me, tried to triangulate me in a hoover (to try to make me pine for him) but no, I’m away. Their discard of us is the worst thing they will do for themselves. No going back!
💯 I went through the exact same thing and their discard was the best thing that ever happened to me. He knew I was on my way out of the miserable marriage and discarded me in a cruel way. I now have my freedom to exist without him and love being alive without him. It’s actually such a blessing.
I am glad to hear of your recovery. Being involved with them is a walkway of eggshells. Walking away you can appreciate the freedom and breathe in the narc free air. I wish you love and light in your narc free future. ❤️☀️
@GeoCeoLeo I mean from a psychological point of view. They're the way they are because they never went through a process called separation and individuation. This is where ego.. or let's say "the self" is created. This is why they try to bond, then break that bond. It never works though. Empty shells.
F**king Monsters is spot on, cam. Evil B**tards. I got rid of her/it 17 months ago but I'm still very angry with all the sh*t I had to put up with and all the time and money I invested in the relationship that never was. I would have a lot of pleasure seeing it behind bars.
joined a dating site - one of the guys was Psychiatrists over several hospitals - went out several times and one evening after a little wine he confessed to me how much he truly hated women - i was mortified - to think he had such power and what his deeper feelings were - and the poor women under his care!
For me, I would definitely report him and ask for a psych evaluation from a woman executive at one of the hospitals. You will help at least one if not many.
I was once helping a young chap who’d been on drink and drugs, volunteering. The young man was diagnosed as psychotic, he heard voices. His case worker rang his psychiatrist to get more help. The psychiatrist, said to her, people like him are a waste of space. I’ve never forgotten it.
Yes! Someone who appears happy, joyful, or peaceful is some sort of threat to them so they proceed to inform anyone gullible enough or narcissistic enough themselves to listen to them, to get on the gossip train with them as they paint you as 'miserable'. As in a total projection - it is they who are miserable, thus the hate arises in them as they see a peaceful and content soul.
Funny, because I find the opposite to be true in that narcs want us to smile and be happy no matter what our personal situation is or what is currently happening in the world. Negative emotions are often prompted by evil people and the things they do, which is why I believe narcs tell you you can't have negative emotions (they are protecting evil/people like them from disapproval).
Narcissist's absolutely know what they are doing & to them anything they do falls into the all good category or the perfectly justifiable "well it had to be done" category. They will never acknowledge any wrong doing on their part & I really think they believe the world is a much better place with them in it & that they are horribly under appreciated.
Spot on, Paula! It’s been a few years since I met his endgame but he did everything you mentioned. I recall a convo one day before I filed where he actually said he thought I was a better financial manager than I actually was, that’s why he needed to leave. Every conversation was him trying to tear me down. He stopped immediately when I told him he was being abusive. I was with one much further up the spectrum nearer to psychopathy and he knows it. He’s quite proud of his lack of empathy or remorse. He thinks it’s a superpower. I don’t consume as much narcissism material as I did in the early days, but yours is still some of the most accurate and compassionate. I hope those earlier on than I was (27 years) find this material and get out before more damage is done.
My husband is a narcissist. The craziest thing is.. when he’s in one of his grumpy phases he actually SMELLS different. And I don’t want to be anywhere near him. It’s absolutely bizarre. Anyone else ever had a similar thing?
Yes Vicky I've heard this being said many times. Just to say, mine smelt all the time only because she was unhygienic. I had to tell her to shower sometimes and that didn't go down too well. 17 months free from the madness. Be safe. 🙏
Does he smell like another woman? Like alcohol? Drugs? Some drugs can make a person smell extra icky as well as make them extra irritable as it wears off. Same with addictions to women. I’ve read many husbands start fights with the wives on purpose to have a reason to leave - and go blow off steam with another woman. The argument they started as an excuse to go see their affair.
Very true. They are full of evil, attract like minded individuals to help them in their plans to take down innocent people. They behave like members of a cult with a hive mind. And they are helped in their evil ways in very strange ways, definitely to be avoided, if they are called out, they wait and take revenge....diabolical.
I left before the narcissist could ever try to and cause my demise the discard was from me not once but three times and the third is the final I won’t go through this again ever lesson learned 🙏🏾💪🏾
Do you recall getting any type of sickness subsequent to any returns? You're fortunate you weren't poisoned by the tainted food/drink they'd serve you with a smile, concealing the deep resentment that is seething below the surface and take any chance to get even, especially if the stand to gain materially from your death.
@@mmalon2908 I experienced the worst type of migraines and felt drained once it continued I put him out into the streets wasn't allow him to end my life at all.
@@mmalon2908 May I talk to you about this ? It sounds crazy when I speak it out loud, but my pwNPD has been keeping antifreeze and windshield fluid inside the house (not inside a car) near pantry / food items, and I have been very sick.
13 years my X husband used and manipulated me. He knew exactly what he was doing. The level of abuse was horrible. Ive been free since May 2023 when he blindsided me and immediately shacked up with his bimbo coworker, the divorce just got finalized last week
Thank goodness he's moved on. Hopefully, for EVER. Keep strong. There are a lot of these people about. May be in your family. ... I've had to disconnfrom them
They know exactly what they are doing! If you want to up your “spotting” the narc abilities, start learning about micro expressions. Those split second facial expressions will give them away in a heartbeat. For example: my brothers girlfriend is a covert narc, every time he says, “your in control love”, she puts her head down and briefly smiles. If you weren’t watching her, you wouldn’t see it.
This is so gross I've seen it in my dad my ex and his mother you don't know evil unless you've dealt with a narcissit I would rather be r worded than stuck with my baby daddy no
IHi Paula and Remy! I so love how you explain this dreadful existence. 150 days free from the narcissist. Still some sleepless nights, but I'm hanging in there. 😊
Im so mad that no therapist told me of this..would have saved me sooo much heartache and money. I just beat myself up more and more for the last 20 years.
I described the behaviour, and a therapist who’d newly graduated from her degree program and licensure requirements told me: “sounds like a Cluster B personality disorder.” I researched a bit (elementary internet research, nothing Doctoral) and everything fit together like a Swiss pocket-watch. This only happened a li’l over a year ago. Up until that point, from 1986 to 2002, no psych professional touched on it, mentioned it, etc. I never would’ve figure it out in my own because to me the word Narcissist just means perniciously vain. Narcissus of the Greek myths wasn’t a pathological liar, thief, Machiavellian manipulator, committed of forgery, faker of terminal illness, etc.
This channel helped me leave an abuser two years ago. Now, I’m in a loving relationship, but I saw my abuser for the first time in two years over the weekend-while he was on a date-and it was so wildly triggering. Now, the content is helping me again. Thanks for being so level-headed and not a charlatan like a LOT of creators in this space. We need it.
When you are raised with a narcissistic sibling, you are used to their behavior. I was 65 before I learned their was a name that described the type of people I had been dealing with. Narcissism. I went no contact with my sibling at age 66. Hard at first, but no regrets. My health is worth so much more than chaos, drama and walking on eggshells. ❤
Hi Paula, For years now I’ve heard the word narcissist being said all over the place but didn’t really know what it meant. A friend posted one of your videos a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been hooked on your channel, I love the way you explain what a narcissist is and their behaviour traits. Thank you for educating us in all things narcissistic. I’ve come to realise that I’ve been a narcissist magnet for most of my life, most of my relationships and friendships have been with narcissists. They seem to be everywhere. It’s almost uncanny how they really do all seem to do the same things and behave in the same way. It’s so obvious to me now thanks to your videos that my ex is a text book narcissist. We met through a mutual friend. He wasn’t my type at all really, definitely not physically, and he looked a lot older than his actual age (55) he was also a bit of a loser, had a boring dead end job, lived in a bedsit and had a string of crazy ex’s. His life was just one big old sob story he was also struggling financially. (You know the drill 😂) Anyway I’d retired early at 50, owned my own house and had turned a hobby of arts and crafts into a little business. I was doing ok. He seemed really nice and we stayed in touch after that first meeting. he absolutely love bombed me like crazy from the first day we met, he was funny, kind, helpful, generous, had the same interests in music, film, tv, arts, crafts, cooking, he was my perfect partner and we talked about a future together, life was wonderful. I really felt loved for the first time in my life. A few days into our relationship that he had to announce to the world and his 2000 friends on Facebook (red flag or what!) his ex contacted me on messenger and warned me he was violent and bad tempered and that if I ever needed to talk she was there for me. I stupidly told him and he was “I told you she was crazy and she might try to spoil things between us, we’re so good together, she’s jealous because she never had what we have “ blah blah blah! Then at exactly 9 weeks in he suddenly changed character, he became a sponger, bad tempered, sulky, whiney, bitchy, jealousy, hateful and very lazy and selfish, obsessed with posting everything on Facebook and counting how many likes he got, he was obsessed with counting those likes. The change in him was so dramatic that I was in a huge state of confusion, I really didn’t know what had happened, he had the same voice and looked the same but this was a completely different person. Once his mask had slipped he was never able to put it back on fully and we never got back to the love bomb stage again. It look me several months to accept the real man was nothing like the fake one at the beginning and that it must have been an act. I also felt obligated to try and make it work because his ex reached out to me and I felt I had to prove her wrong. If she hadn’t contacted me I would very likely have ended the relationship soon after his character change. My only blessing was he lived 90 miles away and he didn’t move in with me. We were dating for almost 2 years and every temper tantrum, sulk, and insult he hurled at me pushed me further away, I realise I didn’t even like him, let alone loved him. When he was having a tantrum or sulking his face would take on such ugliness, it was as though he was possessed by a demon. He was a Roman reenactor and would attend shows where he would pretend to be a gladiator and stage a badly choreographed fight with a fellow reenactor. One night after one of his shows he came over and got a bit drunk. He started waving a 3 foot off cut of wooden curtain pole around and came towards me and pretended to jab me with it. I didn’t move out of the way, he said to me “I’m a trained gladiator, I know how to fight” and he jabbed me with the pole. (Now either he hadn’t believed me when I’d told him, or he’d forgotten that I’d done mixed martial arts for a number of years when I was in my 20’s and 30’s and I’d actually trained to fight with a staff.) I stood my ground and he took a swing at me with the pole which I instinctively blocked, I took the pole off him and said no, you’re not a trained fighter, you’re trained in choreography, I on the other hand am a trained staff fighter? I showed him how a real staff fighter fights back and sent him packing. He had the shock of his life that night. He was all full of apologies the next day and tried to hoover me back in, he was heartbroken couldn’t stop crying, and desperately tried to garner sympathy from me, but I was done with him, we stayed “friends” but didn’t have much to do with each other. Not long after our split I found it absolutely bizarre how he’d quickly moved onto a new victim, he was posting constantly on Facebook doing things, eating and drinking things he used to absolutely hate when we were together. I found it amusing watching the show he was putting on. It was around this time I reached out to his ex who had contacted me and asked her not to interfere in his new relationship and told her how her good intentions towards me had had the opposite effect. We both hoped his new victim would wise up before too long if we left them to it. Unfortunately he married the new victim recently, she’s from overseas and recently lost her parents and has no reason to stay in her native country she seems like a lovely kind and timid woman and I know he will have made her life a misery, especially as shes now isolated from her friends. All I can do is pray that she gets away from him before he harms her. I’ve an amusing story about another ex boyfriend who I realised is a narcissist but I’ll post that in another comment. Thanks for everything you do.
That is a fascinating story, thanks for sharing. I'm so relieved and pleased that you had the martial arts skills to put that nutjob in his place. It is sad that he got married, but I can see why you thought twice about warning his wife. Sometimes it's best not to get involved.
🇹🇹Keep up the good job. You painstakingly help us to get healed. May all your blessings return and may all poisoned chalices turn into blessings in disguise. Love to faithful Remy. Love always, Angel.
Thanks for sharing your insight and knowledge - it is has enriched my life so much. I have been following several UA-camrs who report on the Royal Family - you are right Meghan has formed Harry into a tool for her own gain. She love-bombed (fooled) Harry, isolated him from everything he has ever known - family, friends and country... I agree she is more than a narcissist- probably a sociopath? Everything is all about her. She has zero self awareness and lives in a delusion that she is wonderful and giving - nothing could be further from the truth. It has been devastating to watch Harry go downhill and grow more angry like her. He used to be a fun loving compassionate man. He is a mere shadow of his former self - her brainwashing of him is complete. Her “endgame” is like you said - to destroy him completely then walk away blaming him for everything. My Narc-Con Artist did that to me. It’s all very tragic, dangerous and despicable. Keep spreading your hope, enlightenment and courage. You are doing excellent and important work 🌅
If you have to fight for the relationship RUN, and don't look back, I believe they know they are doing wrong and this is clear by the obvious law-breaking. Still, they want to protect the obvious lies and refuse to listen to the truth when confronted because it doesn't fit with the false identity. I have witnessed this when the person ran away rather than face the truth they caused. despite trying to hoover me at the time.
I worked with a covert narcissistic manager who started sabotaging my work before I retired. I even confronted her. The week before I left, I got fed a message from her that they were going to open up a job that they kept promising me over the years. I thought wow.
Narcs know the difference between right and wrong ! Street Angels House Demons 😡 Narcs switch their behaviour depending on their audience ! Great Video Paula ❤
Even though I have had narcissistic people in my whole life... from mother to husbands to my daughter...i didn't know that they even exisited until 5 years ago. What hurts so muçh is that i spent my whole life loving people Who had no love for me. I am still trying to get over the realization that no one ever had any love for me my whole life....i was just someone they used.
This is a very important red flag. Be Happy around narky _ be genuinely happy especially with another person _ u see the mask slip big time _ they cant be happy for u_ under no circumstance _ u must be confused and dystegulated around them _ then they get a happy on when they have taken something from u.
I was married to a narc for 25 yrs.I was set free by no fear but Power,Love & a Sound Mind of REAL deliverance by GOD'S GRACE. ALL humans CHOOSE their path.hmmm.
No one could’ve said it better ! Exactly what goes on chapter by chapter. And once you see it, you can’t unsee. So step aside and let it crawl by. Really excellent video Paula ✨ Pets to Remy too !
Bravo , Paula , a complete and concise synopsis, which hopefully will educate , protect and spread the word about these actually very simplistic and highly predictable emotional and psychological predators !! It's so important we don't self blame or slump into thoughts of regret or time wasted , as we were never aware that we were being titally blindsided by these beasts at the time . All we can do is learn and move on with ourselves as OUR OWN new best friend 💕 🙏 xx
When I lifted the mask and pushed him into a corner, they said, “we’ll talk later”. Later turned into months of silence. They reply in one sentence now because they know the more they say the deeper hole they dig. I feel like a narcissist myself because I want to scream and cry because I miss the human connection. My empathy makes me feel sorry for him and tricks my mind to return. My heart says return but my mind says 🏃♀️. I pray to God for strength.
They know exactly what they’re doing and derive great joy from gaslighting their victims. I’ve seen my mother change from cold and uninterested in me to a loving, encouraging, kind mother in the snap of a finger when a neighbor walked up to inquire about my physical progress. This was a routine occurrence. They are dangerous and cannot be helped. As Richard Grannon would say, abandon all hope.
Brilliant👏🏽 I’d love to have you as a guest on a Twitter space. The topic would be how narcissistic control alters our lives and how to get back that control.
That really is a good impression of a Narcissist weighing a person's house up! I always suspected this was the case when my ex left me for someone else with a bigger house and room for a study!
It’s interesting that your synopsis requires us to find congruence with the narcs sense of self in time and space as proof that the narc knows what it is doing as we know what we are doing.
They're mostly just around to try and bring them down to their own level... which is very frightening once you come to the realization of how empty they are inside. They mostly copycat what they like in certain personalities that they cross, and well they're out to screw you over mostly... and well they're out for personal fame and fortune... and especially using that as a means to control and manipulate people.
Having come out the other side , you end up much wiser and stronger , and you realise life is tough enough as it is , so why would you want someone pointing out your flaws and dragging you down at every opportunity , and then when you respond telling you that you are being over sensitive , ridiculous or plain hysterical ??? No sorry , the cat is out the bag narcs ,...we GOT your game !!!
Because they love us so well. I remember when my last and final narc walked out the door. I was holding my Shihtzu in my arms and locked myself in the bathroom. She shielded me from a lot of pain because she was broadcasting her love to me at that moment, and I could feel real love, and not the false version as it walked out the front door.
It has been almost two years from the horrible discard. I woke up today missing him or what we could have been. I know he has a mental disorder...it's just so hard sometimes. I get mad at myself because I know that he is a text book narcissist.
Very toxic narcissistic neighbours just moved in across from me, have several dogs, don't treat them well. And let them accidentally ??? run out onto road! I have a little jack Russell that I adore and they can see she's loved I don't know what to do. I am exhausted from narc parents, narc friends, narc partners. NOW NARC NEIGHBOURS DOES IT EVER F...king end!
It can only end if you recognise it as a spiritual battle. It is not individuals against you but a demon or demons attacking you by using these people. You need to pray the rosary daily, go to confession and Holy Communion.
I have wondered why I tolerated my narc husbands treatment.. I knew it was wrong.. finally found a good therapist.. my mom was a narc ( did not speak to her the last 5 years of her life). My mom taught me it was ok to be treated this way... Now that I see it all.. I understand it all.. went thru intense grieving knowing who this man really is. I now focus on me and am very very aware of him and his ways!!
Thanks so much Paula, this podcast is so helpful, also the other videos I've watched. I'm leaving this comment to reassure others in this community that there are good decent human beings out there to choose as marriage mates. I was married to my narc husband for almost twenty nine years. I grew up in Ireland and had that lovely kind and empathetic personality like most of my Generation X had back then. When I met my ex husband he appeared so exciting and interesting, being of a different race and culture, he definitely pulled the wool over my eyes. It was back in the early 1990's and there was no awareness of this personality trait so I was really like a lamb to the slaughter. Thanks to you and other good information out there I've since remarried and can't believe how amazing it is to be married to a normal decent human being who loves me and would do anything for me. Women and men who have been through the trauma with these sub humans please take heart, there's a better life ahead for you once you get away from them. Thanks again Paula, keep up the good work. We appreciate you. ❤
I want you to know how much I appreciate your content! I’ve only recently put together the connection between the narcissistic abuse I suffered and the spiritual realm. It sounds silly, I know. But it’s ALL so clear now! Thank you for calling a spade, a spade!! 👿❤
I'm very spiritual and just went through this narcissist relationship, jumping out before it went too far. Please explain the relationship you see here
@@brendawaggoner7555 Narcissists have the exact same goal as Satan. They seek to steal, kill, and destroy. They operate very much like demons. It is all spiritual in nature. They author confusion, they are the great accusers, they sew division and doubt. Their tactics are identical to satan, himself! And the answer is always reliance on God. In healing from the narcissistic abuse, you will find you gain discernment. I promise! And in the end, it is all worth the lesson!
I showed him out and told him to never return. His never been back ever since. Abandoned and neglect our child who has a medical condition. Their lack of empathy is what drives them to abandon their children as they don't have an inside of human in them. Good riddance
I had this awful neighbour who lied about another neighbour spread lies made out he was threatening to kill others and himself. She ended up trying to get him put away in a psyche ward by calling up the authorities and getting an ambulance to take him away. He called me up in tears bcos he is in his 80s and a bit vague and thought he would be in there forever. I spoke to the docs and convinced them of her narc behaviour and he got out. 😮
Thank you once again Paula and Remy too. As I come from Africa Zimbabwe our culture generally calls a spade a spade so I was delighted to hear you saying you are talking straight and not pandering around good for you! Using H and M is a perfect example as it is so easy to witness so I don’t have any problems with that. Again now I am out of the ex husband/narcissist I can easily understand what you are saying Paula. He knew very well what his thoughts and actions were all about definitely. So so glad that is behind me now 19 years ago and 24 years of spinning around not knowing who I was. You are such a blessing in my life as I have no guilt whatsoever other than I wished I had got out earlier but better late than never. All who are listening everything Paula says is true 💯 don’t pansy around - get out and start to live and love yourself. Life is too short don’t waste another minute with them it NEVER gets better but worse!! Take care and enjoy your walks with Remy his ears were hurting listening about these evil creatures so got out the room. God bless 🙏🐕
Yes his endgame of mine was cruel the mask had slipped and he set me up in several situations. Still reeling with the damage that these set ups have done within the family.
This exactly what a narcissist was doing with me; hiring me as her hitman, using my morality to defend her, distancing herself from me if things went wrong (not that I cared if she distanced herself, I lived my life, that was her miscalculation). Oh and of course she would try to distance me from my loved ones and put herself as the center of my life, which also didn't work at all and I saw through the bullshit.
Prince Harry was caught in a narcissistic 'web' of lies since birth. His mother suffered and eventually died because of the massive narcissistic abuse she suffered at the hands of Prince Charles who himself had had narcissism cultured in himself by the way he was brought up. And so it's not surprising Harry was attracted my someone with narcissistic tendencies in turn, because of the anger harboured within himself toward his family. I don't think he made a mistake in breaking away, it was the best thing he could do. It's just a shame he and Megan took it too far by going to Oprah etc when they should have just 'held the high ground' until dialogue might have been opened up with his father and family. This is how the terrible disease of Narcissism is perpetuated.
Subjecting a person to prolonged psychological abuse should be considered a crime. I hope karma exists.
Quite common occurrence under the guise of upbringing, education, training, etc. Alice Miller is still unsurpassed in breaking down this topic. Her insights inspired a lot of others such as Pete Walker.
I want to reference the Bible to best describe the intentions of a malignant narcissist -
1 Peter 5:8, which says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour".
Thank You i was thinking of that verse but could not remember where it was. Good and evil this is unfolding on every level
Exactly they work for the 😈to destroy you But JESUS protects you cuz he's the only one that knows how to handle them
Very apt!
Machiavelli wrote in his work the “Prince” A lion can’t recognize traps, and a fox has the intelligence to avoid traps but can’t defend itself against wolves. Therefore one must be both a lion to scare away a pack of wolves and a fox to avoid traps. If you can’t be both … be the fox.
The ultimate description of Satan and, not so coincidentally, the narcissist:
John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
My last narcissist actually admitted he doesn’t feel empathy when he knows he has been cruel. They are devoid of any humanity
Same here. Actually I knew it but never thought he would verbalize it..
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Mine (who sadly I have no choice but to live with unless I feel led otherwise by Holy Spirit, TOLD ME to my face he has not ONE OUNCE of empathy for me But he does for other people. Believe me, that is not true, he only cares about himself! They are pure hateful evil beings. I refuse to qualify him as a "man"
@@becky54321I don't know what sort of relationship you have,romantic or family but God already made it clear in the scripture that believers are to have nothing to do with those sorts of people,if they refuse to be sorry and change,then avoid like the plague I'd say.
@@karriesaunders8597 Married. Almost 52 years. I didn’t realize what it was till almost 15 years ago. In name only as far as “married”. I stay as far away from him as I can. God also hates divorce and he has no plans on leaving. If he did I would do what the Bible says and LET HIM GO!
Don't ever underestimate what they are capable of doing. I've found they are capable of Anything - including murder. Many have absolutely NO limits to what they will do. Pure evil..
I believe this is where a co-morbidly is also present.Such as ASPD.
The dark triad. Psychopathy. Sociopathy.
These ARE the people that murder.
Normal humans don't kill other humans.
Hence, predator.
my narc neighbor said he would gladly burn down my house
@@cindylong624 I hope you reported that as a terroristic threat. What could that possibly have been a response to? I mean, did he just randomly lay it out?
They know what they’re doing. My Sociopath played me for ten years. Now that I have the KNOWLEDGE I see it 👀s wide open. I grew up in a Narcissistic crockpot. I loved this man with all my heart. Helped him financially, helped his three adult children and two grandkids. I was manipulated on the highest level. Forgive yourselves. God gives you Grace. I NOW see these manipulations in so many people. It’s not easy but I’ve got this. I choose who to trust.
See her other vid on " why narcissist Discard their targets so cruelly " I've watched it at least 10 times, very enlightening.
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@@Ptowngirl Be proud of your strength. You're not alone. It took me 49 years and lots of narcs for me to wake up but now I can help make others aware.
Narc crock pot. Good description
@@MoJo-eb4lt I have seen them all. I continue to watch them after 2 years No Contact. I think she is the best of her field on You Tube. Her spiritual angle is so spot on. She has helped me so much.
There is always a sadistic component to narcissistic disorder/illness/evil spirit. It's not just that they know they're hurting you but they enjoy the pain they inflict.
Yes I've seen my mom turn away and snicker smile after saying something very hurtful.
@@cstran3it’s like they have a demon inside. It’s sickening.
@@fancyfeast6779 it's very possible
The narcissist Knows their Game ,their problem & nightmare starts at the point When YOU KNOW WHAT they are.😊 That's the justice. GOD knows best how to deal with them, don't waste anymore of your time. ❤
Thank YOU PAULA🎉🎉🎉
I completely agree. When we know what they are then we instantly gain control. We don’t even have to say it, they feel it. They must know that feeling - when someone finds out then their shame sets in.
My narc went wild when I told him he was a narcissist. Don't ever call them a narcissist.
God is LONG SUFFERING.
Ecclesiastes 8:11
King James Version
11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
Romans 12:19
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
@@teresadias8370 Jude 1:9
Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.
I tell people I know what they are. I tell them I don't care what they are/how they operate if they leave me out of their crazy BS. That actually works.
You can bet your ass that they know exactly what they are doing. I did not know until the God-Awful DISCARD. I have been on a rollercoaster of recovery, and it is the knowledge that I have received on your channel that has removed the veal from my eyes. Thank God for people like you. God Bless you and Remy
Same here!
💯
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@glennhemingway8747 same here buddy. Love somebody with all your heart after love bombing, then get devalued and triangulated, then thrown away like garbage. Leaves the head spinning. Went no contact 8 days ago, recd 1 hoover so far on the 7th day, holding strong so far. But what they do to the mind of the target is unreal. I love her, she has no love, I use empathy, she has none, seems was all about some sick control stuff and personal degradation...very bizarre condition they have. It's like devils walking around among us
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Any interaction with a narcissist will come back to haunt you and make life a misery. They set you up in so many different ways. Modern day vampires that suck your life from you. The further you get away from these creatures, the weaker they get and the stronger you become.
Although I feel forever grateful for having escaped the death grip of a narcissist, I continue to educate myself and be inspired by this channel because Paula (and Remy) continuously remind me that narcissists are a threat to society and they need to be held accountable.
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Remy is a dog! It cannot teach you anything about narcissists! 😵💫
The narcissist sees you from the start as someone to be exploited and then defeated or conquered. Excellent to ask "what do they want." One narcissist that I know and can't totally avoid recently expressed their approval at something I had done -- and I thought, oh that's the parent-controlling-the-child dynamic, or a pet-the-dog-on-the-head move, "so get back under my influence, I just threw you a crumb, to show you how 'nice' I am." The ball is always in play.
Exactly. They are always thinking ahead for their next play. Devious.
I think this should be taught in schools
Very much agree with you....Even the Catholic priests should be made aware of these😅
Them creeps wouldn't care if they put someone in a suicidal ideation.
Nothing you could ever do for them is ever enough doesnt matter what it is,they live an existence not a life.
Where all just objects to narcissists,until we lose our shine.
👆🏼 that
Yes, I have experienced that before with the exnarc. They always belittle you and tell you either subtly or directly that you are better off not alive. I choose life and my sanity and health over them and their abusive antics!
It would be a compliment to them if you off’ed yourself. They’d then cry victim and the “poor me” act.
@cazza7034 that's why their pure evil and physcopaths.
But they get their karma in the end,the ageing process does that,if not they cross a wrong un
That's exactly wgat they want. You to destroy yourself because of them. It's the ultimate power.
They'll drive you to your death and come to your funeral and play victim, it's uncanny. They're the people of the lie. Once you manage to fit the pieces of the puzzle together, then you realize how much dangerous it is.
Dr Peck was the trailblazer.
I believe they know EXACTLY how they are operating. They just are such cowards - they just won't own it ! They are the worst.
@@EricNorthman-h2f they lack courage. That's why they attack to appear powerful.
What a sad gig!
Cowardy custards!
I know they know because they never tell you the real reasons they are doing things, and that is because they know their "reasons" are invalid.
George K Simon ( In Sheep's Clothing) nails it when he says, if they didn't know that what they were doing was harmful ( deceptive,diabolical, illegal, immoral etc..) then they wouldn't need to reframe, twist, fabricate, lie or blame shift the behavior! 💥
The dog blissfully napping on a comfy couch is a visual sedative ❤ balances the intense video 😢
He wants a walk. Never fool yourself.
Thankyou for your insight. Ladies and gentleman please leave those relationships, and don’t feel bad. They will try to destroy you and any light within you with verbal abuse and make you feel so lonely with their mean behaviour. You deserve to exist as peacefully as possible with loved ones. Have high standards from the beginning to avoid them. Wishing you joy and peace in all your journeys ❤️
Yesssss 500 thumbs up 👍
@@Thunderbird359 🙏🏾❤️
Yes, we must hold the narcissist accountable. Their biggest weapon is to not take responsibility for anything, to be jealous of others and to hate you for being independent of them. Don’t let them suck you dry.
"Assuming others work within parameters of humanity." Love that.
"" I can make people do what I want them to do "' He said that often and it was true.
They really are sick people.
Yes Paula, we must not blame ourselves for falling for the disordered narcissists in our lives.
I dealt with two of these evil bastardz - the first was an overt - the second was a covert - they left a trail of destruction - I'm still dealing with 24 years down the road
My father is one.
Yessssssssss
My sister was one and my ex is one. I'm rid of them both now, thankfully and I'm aware of these people now. They're evil and should be avoided at all costs
@brianhartney5797 dang, I'm only in day 8 of no contact. Head spinning here
@@MoJo-eb4lt don't give up, these people are so evil, they don't care about you. You have to put your safety first and heal. They only get worse as time goes on. Take care
I walked away before the discard .
SMART CHOICE FOR YOU.
Me, too...best thing I ever did.
With my very last narcissist, (and there have been many, starting with my mom) I walked away after the first hoover attempt. Considering I didn't know what a narcissist was until 2 months after he walked out on me, I count that as a major win. Not bad for an old lady like me.
I did this also. I've been going through the smear campaign and dealing with the flying monkeys at work for over a year now. I'm a very strong person and refuse to let them win.
@@Truthteller1sall my heart to you
Everytime i wanted to speak about the cruelty and asked her to stop with the physical abuse...
It was either all my fault or i wasnt suppose to speak about it.
The abuse never stopped, just became worse and became almost fatal for my health and well-being.
Thank you for the information you post ❤
Good for you! My dad went to his grave never knowing or understanding what was really going on with my mother, and I am pretty sure he died way too early as a result of the stress of that life with her. Like Harry Windsor.
I like the way you respect and treat your dog...🤗 Thanks for the advice too.
It’s fascinating, Paula. Mine pointed out to me “you care” in the very beginning. It’s the one thing they spot and look for. He got himself into a range of situations with work mainly and was unable to hold a job. He would cry to me and weirdly shout out “I know who I am”. He discarded me ultimately and when I think he knew I had discovered the truth. He threw his caregiver away essentially, hoovered me, tried to triangulate me in a hoover (to try to make me pine for him) but no, I’m away. Their discard of us is the worst thing they will do for themselves. No going back!
💯 I went through the exact same thing and their discard was the best thing that ever happened to me. He knew I was on my way out of the miserable marriage and discarded me in a cruel way. I now have my freedom to exist without him and love being alive without him. It’s actually such a blessing.
I am glad to hear of your recovery. Being involved with them is a walkway of eggshells. Walking away you can appreciate the freedom and breathe in the narc free air. I wish you love and light in your narc free future. ❤️☀️
They use others as hammers, and then no matter what you do , it's all your fault. There's never a win/win. It's always a zero-sum game being played.
They know what they do. I agree. A lot of them think out whole plans to trap their victims and discredit them.
Great video, but Narcs don't have an ego so to speak. They're empty voids. F**king monsters if you ask me.
Don't have an ego? They are completely ego
@GeoCeoLeo I mean from a psychological point of view. They're the way they are because they never went through a process called separation and individuation. This is where ego.. or let's say "the self" is created. This is why they try to bond, then break that bond. It never works though. Empty shells.
F**king Monsters is spot on, cam. Evil B**tards. I got rid of her/it 17 months ago but I'm still very angry with all the sh*t I had to put up with and all the time and money I invested in the relationship that never was. I would have a lot of pleasure seeing it behind bars.
@@camelotenglishtuition6394💥 It's rooted in severe insecure attachment early on. Then the child never separates( this normally happens at age 7)
@sandrathomas2893 usually 12 -24 months.. this process is called separation and individuation .. but yes you're right
joined a dating site - one of the guys was Psychiatrists over several hospitals - went out several times and one evening after a little wine he confessed to me how much he truly hated women - i was mortified - to think he had such power and what his deeper feelings were - and the poor women under his care!
For me, I would definitely report him and ask for a psych evaluation from a woman executive at one of the hospitals. You will help at least one if not many.
I was once helping a young chap who’d been on drink and drugs, volunteering. The young man was diagnosed as psychotic, he heard voices. His case worker rang his psychiatrist to get more help. The psychiatrist, said to her, people like him are a waste of space. I’ve never forgotten it.
@@InfiniteMindset99 don't even remember his name - been awhile - i did report a corrupt attorney once - it went nowhere
Administration or clinical? Big job definition difference.
@@InfiniteMindset99 an instrument is not gender sensitive to clinician. Ok???
Yes! Someone who appears happy, joyful, or peaceful is some sort of threat to them so they proceed to inform anyone gullible enough or narcissistic enough themselves to listen to them, to get on the gossip train with them as they paint you as 'miserable'. As in a total projection - it is they who are miserable, thus the hate arises in them as they see a peaceful and content soul.
Funny, because I find the opposite to be true in that narcs want us to smile and be happy no matter what our personal situation is or what is currently happening in the world. Negative emotions are often prompted by evil people and the things they do, which is why I believe narcs tell you you can't have negative emotions (they are protecting evil/people like them from disapproval).
Narcissist's absolutely know what they are doing & to them anything they do falls into the all good category or the perfectly justifiable "well it had to be done" category. They will never acknowledge any wrong doing on their part & I really think they believe the world is a much better place with them in it & that they are horribly under appreciated.
And I cannot wait for your book by the way. Please do give the details soon. Can’t wait to purchase. Good luck with the launch! ❤️
Thank you! Will do!
Spot on, Paula! It’s been a few years since I met his endgame but he did everything you mentioned. I recall a convo one day before I filed where he actually said he thought I was a better financial manager than I actually was, that’s why he needed to leave. Every conversation was him trying to tear me down. He stopped immediately when I told him he was being abusive.
I was with one much further up the spectrum nearer to psychopathy and he knows it. He’s quite proud of his lack of empathy or remorse. He thinks it’s a superpower.
I don’t consume as much narcissism material as I did in the early days, but yours is still some of the most accurate and compassionate. I hope those earlier on than I was (27 years) find this material and get out before more damage is done.
My husband is a narcissist. The craziest thing is.. when he’s in one of his grumpy phases he actually SMELLS different. And I don’t want to be anywhere near him. It’s absolutely bizarre. Anyone else ever had a similar thing?
Yes Vicky I've heard this being said many times. Just to say, mine smelt all the time only because she was unhygienic. I had to tell her to shower sometimes and that didn't go down too well. 17 months free from the madness. Be safe. 🙏
Same with my exN! He would go DAYS without showering or brushing his teeth (or both)! Was so disgusting! 🤮
@@VickyRenyard they smell rotten
Does he smell like another woman? Like alcohol? Drugs? Some drugs can make a person smell extra icky as well as make them extra irritable as it wears off. Same with addictions to women. I’ve read many husbands start fights with the wives on purpose to have a reason to leave - and go blow off steam with another woman. The argument they started as an excuse to go see their affair.
What's with the bad hygeine? Is it a way of disrespecting you by not caring how they smell or look? It's so bizarre.
Narcs are omnipresent. Jezebels come to mind since antiquity.
Very true. They are full of evil, attract like minded individuals to help them in their plans to take down innocent people. They behave like members of a cult with a hive mind. And they are helped in their evil ways in very strange ways, definitely to be avoided, if they are called out, they wait and take revenge....diabolical.
I left before the narcissist could ever try to and cause my demise the discard was from me not once but three times and the third is the final I won’t go through this again ever lesson learned 🙏🏾💪🏾
Do you recall getting any type of sickness subsequent to any returns?
You're fortunate you weren't poisoned by the tainted food/drink they'd serve you with a smile, concealing the deep resentment that is seething below the surface and take any chance to get even, especially if the stand to gain materially from your death.
@@mmalon2908 I experienced the worst type of migraines and felt drained once it continued I put him out into the streets wasn't allow him to end my life at all.
@@mmalon2908 May I talk to you about this ? It sounds crazy when I speak it out loud, but my pwNPD has been keeping antifreeze and windshield fluid inside the house (not inside a car) near pantry / food items, and I have been very sick.
13 years my X husband used and manipulated me. He knew exactly what he was doing. The level of abuse was horrible. Ive been free since May 2023 when he blindsided me and immediately shacked up with his bimbo coworker, the divorce just got finalized last week
I HOPE YOU ARE DOING ALRIGHT.
@@treelover1050 thank you 🙏🙏
mine ran off with a rich bimbo. It freed me really ... no more parasite!
Thank goodness he's moved on. Hopefully, for EVER. Keep strong. There are a lot of these people about. May be in your family. ... I've had to disconnfrom them
@christinaisis3158 ty🙏
I thought the lack of emotion and empathy was autism or adhd for years. I made excuses, many excuses.
They know exactly what they are doing! If you want to up your “spotting” the narc abilities, start learning about micro expressions. Those split second facial expressions will give them away in a heartbeat. For example: my brothers girlfriend is a covert narc, every time he says, “your in control love”, she puts her head down and briefly smiles. If you weren’t watching her, you wouldn’t see it.
This is so gross I've seen it in my dad my ex and his mother you don't know evil unless you've dealt with a narcissit I would rather be r worded than stuck with my baby daddy no
If they picked you to torture you probably have a high calling on your life! Help other victims be set free!
IHi Paula and Remy! I so love how you explain this dreadful existence. 150 days free from the narcissist. Still some sleepless nights, but I'm hanging in there. 😊
Im so mad that no therapist told me of this..would have saved me sooo much heartache and money. I just beat myself up more and more for the last 20 years.
I described the behaviour, and a therapist who’d newly graduated from her degree program and licensure requirements told me: “sounds like a Cluster B personality disorder.” I researched a bit (elementary internet research, nothing Doctoral) and everything fit together like a Swiss pocket-watch. This only happened a li’l over a year ago. Up until that point, from 1986 to 2002, no psych professional touched on it, mentioned it, etc. I never would’ve figure it out in my own because to me the word Narcissist just means perniciously vain. Narcissus of the Greek myths wasn’t a pathological liar, thief, Machiavellian manipulator, committed of forgery, faker of terminal illness, etc.
Thank God! Its EXACTLY whats happened to me for 5 years. Paula....you are honest and say the ugly, unthinkable and unbelievable truth.
At the end of the day there is no benifit in a turd knowing it is a turd
You're very close to 100,000 subscribers! congratulations in advance..
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Remy in the back ground is so cute to watch.
Another brilliant video Paula giving an excellent insight into the destructive mind of the narcissist
This channel helped me leave an abuser two years ago. Now, I’m in a loving relationship, but I saw my abuser for the first time in two years over the weekend-while he was on a date-and it was so wildly triggering. Now, the content is helping me again. Thanks for being so level-headed and not a charlatan like a LOT of creators in this space. We need it.
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When you are raised with a narcissistic sibling, you are used to their behavior. I was 65 before I learned their was a name that described the type of people I had been dealing with. Narcissism. I went no contact with my sibling at age 66. Hard at first, but no regrets. My health is worth so much more than chaos, drama and walking on eggshells. ❤
64 for me. Narc brother and flying monkey mother.
Hi Paula,
For years now I’ve heard the word narcissist being said all over the place but didn’t really know what it meant.
A friend posted one of your videos a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been hooked on your channel, I love the way you explain what a narcissist is and their behaviour traits. Thank you for educating us in all things narcissistic.
I’ve come to realise that I’ve been a narcissist magnet for most of my life, most of my relationships and friendships have been with narcissists. They seem to be everywhere.
It’s almost uncanny how they really do all seem to do the same things and behave in the same way.
It’s so obvious to me now thanks to your videos that my ex is a text book narcissist.
We met through a mutual friend. He wasn’t my type at all really, definitely not physically, and he looked a lot older than his actual age (55) he was also a bit of a loser, had a boring dead end job, lived in a bedsit and had a string of crazy ex’s. His life was just one big old sob story he was also struggling financially. (You know the drill 😂)
Anyway I’d retired early at 50, owned my own house and had turned a hobby of arts and crafts into a little business. I was doing ok.
He seemed really nice and we stayed in touch after that first meeting.
he absolutely love bombed me like crazy from the first day we met, he was funny, kind, helpful, generous, had the same interests in music, film, tv, arts, crafts, cooking, he was my perfect partner and we talked about a future together, life was wonderful. I really felt loved for the first time in my life.
A few days into our relationship that he had to announce to the world and his 2000 friends on Facebook (red flag or what!) his ex contacted me on messenger and warned me he was violent and bad tempered and that if I ever needed to talk she was there for me. I stupidly told him and he was “I told you she was crazy and she might try to spoil things between us, we’re so good together, she’s jealous because she never had what we have “ blah blah blah!
Then at exactly 9 weeks in he suddenly changed character, he became a sponger, bad tempered, sulky, whiney, bitchy, jealousy, hateful and very lazy and selfish, obsessed with posting everything on Facebook and counting how many likes he got, he was obsessed with counting those likes.
The change in him was so dramatic that I was in a huge state of confusion, I really didn’t know what had happened, he had the same voice and looked the same but this was a completely different person.
Once his mask had slipped he was never able to put it back on fully and we never got back to the love bomb stage again.
It look me several months to accept the real man was nothing like the fake one at the beginning and that it must have been an act. I also felt obligated to try and make it work because his ex reached out to me and I felt I had to prove her wrong. If she hadn’t contacted me I would very likely have ended the relationship soon after his character change.
My only blessing was he lived 90 miles away and he didn’t move in with me.
We were dating for almost 2 years and every temper tantrum, sulk, and insult he hurled at me pushed me further away, I realise I didn’t even like him, let alone loved him. When he was having a tantrum or sulking his face would take on such ugliness, it was as though he was possessed by a demon.
He was a Roman reenactor and would attend shows where he would pretend to be a gladiator and stage a badly choreographed fight with a fellow reenactor.
One night after one of his shows he came over and got a bit drunk. He started waving a 3 foot off cut of wooden curtain pole around and came towards me and pretended to jab me with it. I didn’t move out of the way, he said to me “I’m a trained gladiator, I know how to fight” and he jabbed me with the pole.
(Now either he hadn’t believed me when I’d told him, or he’d forgotten that I’d done mixed martial arts for a number of years when I was in my 20’s and 30’s and I’d actually trained to fight with a staff.)
I stood my ground and he took a swing at me with the pole which I instinctively blocked, I took the pole off him and said no, you’re not a trained fighter, you’re trained in choreography, I on the other hand am a trained staff fighter? I showed him how a real staff fighter fights back and sent him packing. He had the shock of his life that night.
He was all full of apologies the next day and tried to hoover me back in, he was heartbroken couldn’t stop crying, and desperately tried to garner sympathy from me, but I was done with him, we stayed “friends” but didn’t have much to do with each other.
Not long after our split I found it absolutely bizarre how he’d quickly moved onto a new victim, he was posting constantly on Facebook doing things, eating and drinking things he used to absolutely hate when we were together. I found it amusing watching the show he was putting on.
It was around this time I reached out to his ex who had contacted me and asked her not to interfere in his new relationship and told her how her good intentions towards me had had the opposite effect. We both hoped his new victim would wise up before too long if we left them to it.
Unfortunately he married the new victim recently, she’s from overseas and recently lost her parents and has no reason to stay in her native country she seems like a lovely kind and timid woman and I know he will have made her life a misery, especially as shes now isolated from her friends.
All I can do is pray that she gets away from him before he harms her.
I’ve an amusing story about another ex boyfriend who I realised is a narcissist but I’ll post that in another comment.
Thanks for everything you do.
That is a fascinating story, thanks for sharing. I'm so relieved and pleased that you had the martial arts skills to put that nutjob in his place. It is sad that he got married, but I can see why you thought twice about warning his wife. Sometimes it's best not to get involved.
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🇹🇹Keep up the good job. You painstakingly help us to get healed. May all your blessings return and may all poisoned chalices turn into blessings in disguise. Love to faithful Remy. Love always, Angel.
Thanks for sharing your insight and knowledge - it is has enriched my life so much.
I have been following several UA-camrs who report on the Royal Family - you are right Meghan has formed Harry into a tool for her own gain. She love-bombed (fooled) Harry, isolated him from everything he has ever known - family, friends and country... I agree she is more than a narcissist- probably a sociopath?
Everything is all about her. She has zero self awareness and lives in a delusion that she is wonderful and giving - nothing could be further from the truth.
It has been devastating to watch Harry go downhill and grow more angry like her. He used to be a fun loving compassionate man. He is a mere shadow of his former self - her brainwashing of him is complete.
Her “endgame” is like you said - to destroy him completely then walk away blaming him for everything. My Narc-Con Artist did that to me. It’s all very tragic, dangerous and despicable.
Keep spreading your hope, enlightenment and courage. You are doing excellent and important work 🌅
If you have to fight for the relationship RUN, and don't look back, I believe they know they are doing wrong and this is clear by the obvious law-breaking. Still, they want to protect the obvious lies and refuse to listen to the truth when confronted because it doesn't fit with the false identity. I have witnessed this when the person ran away rather than face the truth they caused. despite trying to hoover me at the time.
They can’t stand to see anyone happy or joyful. I’m not the only one who sees it in this person.
I worked with a covert narcissistic manager who started sabotaging my work before I retired. I even confronted her. The week before I left, I got fed a message from her that they were going to open up a job that they kept promising me over the years. I thought wow.
Pathetic and desperate on her part…you’re free now 🌹
I'm always waiting for your videos. They're made with so much empathy, I feel heard.
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Narcs know the difference between right and wrong ! Street Angels House Demons 😡 Narcs switch their behaviour depending on their audience ! Great Video Paula ❤
Good morning /evening Paula and sweet peaceful Remy always good to see you two 😊🙏🏾❤️❤️
Good morning! Woof 🌹
Even though I have had narcissistic people in my whole life... from mother to husbands to my daughter...i didn't know that they even exisited until 5 years ago. What hurts so muçh is that i spent my whole life loving people Who had no love for me. I am still trying to get over the realization that no one ever had any love for me my whole life....i was just someone they used.
I understand that. 😢
Once you've gotten to a certain point in your education you see the red flags more quickly and you're less likely to ignore them.
I love seeing your dog, always make me sleepy and ready for a nap 😂🥰
They know it's wrong to pretend they're great and immortal but they justify it until they can't fool anyone then they move on.
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This is a very important red flag.
Be Happy around narky _ be genuinely happy especially with another person _ u see the mask slip big time _ they cant be happy for u_ under no circumstance _ u must be confused and dystegulated around them _ then they get a happy on when they have taken something from u.
Thank you for describing so clearly how Meghan has been using Harry. Many people do not understand this dynamic.
I was married to a narc for 25 yrs.I was set free by no fear but Power,Love & a Sound Mind of REAL deliverance by GOD'S GRACE.
ALL humans CHOOSE their path.hmmm.
Amen.
No one could’ve said it better ! Exactly what goes on chapter by chapter. And once you see it, you can’t unsee. So step aside and let it crawl by. Really excellent video Paula ✨ Pets to Remy too !
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They get off o. Hurting ppl
It’s backwards
Bravo , Paula , a complete and concise synopsis, which hopefully will educate , protect and spread the word about these actually very simplistic and highly predictable emotional and psychological predators !! It's so important we don't self blame or slump into thoughts of regret or time wasted , as we were never aware that we were being titally blindsided by these beasts at the time . All we can do is learn and move on with ourselves as OUR OWN new best friend 💕 🙏 xx
When I lifted the mask and pushed him into a corner, they said, “we’ll talk later”. Later turned into months of silence. They reply in one sentence now because they know the more they say the deeper hole they dig. I feel like a narcissist myself because I want to scream and cry because I miss the human connection. My empathy makes me feel sorry for him and tricks my mind to return. My heart says return but my mind says 🏃♀️. I pray to God for strength.
They know exactly what they’re doing and derive great joy from gaslighting their victims. I’ve seen my mother change from cold and uninterested in me to a loving, encouraging, kind mother in the snap of a finger when a neighbor walked up to inquire about my physical progress. This was a routine occurrence. They are dangerous and cannot be helped. As Richard Grannon would say, abandon all hope.
Brilliant👏🏽
I’d love to have you as a guest on a Twitter space. The topic would be how narcissistic control alters our lives and how to get back that control.
I get ill just thinking about the fucked up situation
Love it. Best part at very end. Bulls eye!!! You are awesome
This teaching is very powerful. I feel empowered. You are a blessing sister.
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That really is a good impression of a Narcissist weighing a person's house up! I always suspected this was the case when my ex left me for someone else with a bigger house and room for a study!
I totally agree with you about Harry and Megan, you have a very great clarity, thank you very much 🫶
You are so welcome
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Explained so well , very much as I see it in my experience, and at the level of a spoiled envious child but with adult age and skill
As always your video is spot on! Love how Remy is so chilled out & relaxed! ❤😊
I'm just wondering where he goes when he gets off the couch.......
It’s interesting that your synopsis requires us to find congruence with the narcs sense of self in time and space as proof that the narc knows what it is doing as we know what we are doing.
They're mostly just around to try and bring them down to their own level... which is very frightening once you come to the realization of how empty they are inside. They mostly copycat what they like in certain personalities that they cross, and well they're out to screw you over mostly... and well they're out for personal fame and fortune... and especially using that as a means to control and manipulate people.
Having come out the other side , you end up much wiser and stronger , and you realise life is tough enough as it is , so why would you want someone pointing out your flaws and dragging you down at every opportunity , and then when you respond telling you that you are being over sensitive , ridiculous or plain hysterical ??? No sorry , the cat is out the bag narcs ,...we GOT your game !!!
Paula has really helped me these last few weeks thank you
Please keep these videos coming.
Paula you are AMAZING 🙏
Love how Remey is loved.❤ all dogs deserve to be loved ❤
Because they love us so well. I remember when my last and final narc walked out the door. I was holding my Shihtzu in my arms and locked myself in the bathroom. She shielded me from a lot of pain because she was broadcasting her love to me at that moment, and I could feel real love, and not the false version as it walked out the front door.
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Love this❤ watched it twice 📺yes I agree that it has a lot to do with respect and that begins with yourself 🎉🎉🎉
It has been almost two years from the horrible discard. I woke up today missing him or what we could have been. I know he has a mental disorder...it's just so hard sometimes. I get mad at myself because I know that he is a text book narcissist.
Very toxic narcissistic neighbours just moved in across from me, have several dogs, don't treat them well.
And let them accidentally ??? run out onto road!
I have a little jack Russell that I adore and they can see she's loved
I don't know what to do. I am exhausted from narc parents, narc friends, narc partners. NOW NARC NEIGHBOURS
DOES IT EVER F...king end!
It can only end if you recognise it as a spiritual battle. It is not individuals against you but a demon or demons attacking you by using these people. You need to pray the rosary daily, go to confession and Holy Communion.
Report them without providing a name if there is animal abuse 🌹
I use to tap his heart n say he gad a tin heart..I listened once and was surprised I could actually hear a beat.😊
I have wondered why I tolerated my narc husbands treatment.. I knew it was wrong.. finally found a good therapist.. my mom was a narc ( did not speak to her the last 5 years of her life). My mom taught me it was ok to be treated this way... Now that I see it all.. I understand it all.. went thru intense grieving knowing who this man really is. I now focus on me and am very very aware of him and his ways!!
Thanks so much Paula, this podcast is so helpful, also the other videos I've watched. I'm leaving this comment to reassure others in this community that there are good decent human beings out there to choose as marriage mates. I was married to my narc husband for almost twenty nine years. I grew up in Ireland and had that lovely kind and empathetic personality like most of my Generation X had back then. When I met my ex husband he appeared so exciting and interesting, being of a different race and culture, he definitely pulled the wool over my eyes. It was back in the early 1990's and there was no awareness of this personality trait so I was really like a lamb to the slaughter. Thanks to you and other good information out there I've since remarried and can't believe how amazing it is to be married to a normal decent human being who loves me and would do anything for me. Women and men who have been through the trauma with these sub humans please take heart, there's a better life ahead for you once you get away from them. Thanks again Paula, keep up the good work. We appreciate you. ❤
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I want you to know how much I appreciate your content! I’ve only recently put together the connection between the narcissistic abuse I suffered and the spiritual realm. It sounds silly, I know. But it’s ALL so clear now! Thank you for calling a spade, a spade!! 👿❤
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I'm very spiritual and just went through this narcissist relationship, jumping out before it went too far. Please explain the relationship you see here
@@brendawaggoner7555 Narcissists have the exact same goal as Satan. They seek to steal, kill, and destroy. They operate very much like demons. It is all spiritual in nature. They author confusion, they are the great accusers, they sew division and doubt. Their tactics are identical to satan, himself! And the answer is always reliance on God. In healing from the narcissistic abuse, you will find you gain discernment. I promise! And in the end, it is all worth the lesson!
I showed him out and told him to never return. His never been back ever since. Abandoned and neglect our child who has a medical condition. Their lack of empathy is what drives them to abandon their children as they don't have an inside of human in them. Good riddance
I had this awful neighbour who lied about another neighbour spread lies made out he was threatening to kill others and himself. She ended up trying to get him put away in a psyche ward by calling up the authorities and getting an ambulance to take him away. He called me up in tears bcos he is in his 80s and a bit vague and thought he would be in there forever. I spoke to the docs and convinced them of her narc behaviour and he got out. 😮
Thank you once again Paula and Remy too. As I come from Africa Zimbabwe our culture generally calls a spade a spade so I was delighted to hear you saying you are talking straight and not pandering around good for you! Using H and M is a perfect example as it is so easy to witness so I don’t have any problems with that.
Again now I am out of the ex husband/narcissist I can easily understand what you are saying Paula. He knew very well what his thoughts and actions were all about definitely. So so glad that is behind me now 19 years ago and 24 years of spinning around not knowing who I was. You are such a blessing in my life as I have no guilt whatsoever other than I wished I had got out earlier but better late than never. All who are listening everything Paula says is true 💯 don’t pansy around - get out and start to live and love yourself. Life is too short don’t waste another minute with them it NEVER gets better but worse!! Take care and enjoy your walks with Remy his ears were hurting listening about these evil creatures so got out the room. God bless 🙏🐕
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Yes his endgame of mine was cruel the mask had slipped and he set me up in several situations. Still reeling with the damage that these set ups have done within the family.
A narcissist will try to murder you posion you run and run fast
This exactly what a narcissist was doing with me; hiring me as her hitman, using my morality to defend her, distancing herself from me if things went wrong (not that I cared if she distanced herself, I lived my life, that was her miscalculation). Oh and of course she would try to distance me from my loved ones and put herself as the center of my life, which also didn't work at all and I saw through the bullshit.
Prince Harry was caught in a narcissistic 'web' of lies since birth. His mother suffered and eventually died because of the massive narcissistic abuse she suffered at the hands of Prince Charles who himself had had narcissism cultured in himself by the way he was brought up. And so it's not surprising Harry was attracted my someone with narcissistic tendencies in turn, because of the anger harboured within himself toward his family. I don't think he made a mistake in breaking away, it was the best thing he could do. It's just a shame he and Megan took it too far by going to Oprah etc when they should have just 'held the high ground' until dialogue might have been opened up with his father and family. This is how the terrible disease of Narcissism is perpetuated.