Things you wouldn't hear in a medical exam | Mock the Week - BBC

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  • Опубліковано 28 гру 2024

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  • @herkillingjar3438
    @herkillingjar3438 6 років тому +1740

    ITS SO WEIRD SEEING JAMES IN SOMETHING THAT ISNT A BUTTON UP SHIRT

    • @ayelemensah8816
      @ayelemensah8816 6 років тому +13

      Destroyed Energy I knew there was something off about him!

  • @baddmanaz
    @baddmanaz 6 років тому +2288

    "doctor! Doctor! Ive got 59 seconds to live! "
    "hang on a minute"

  • @alexdebstep3424
    @alexdebstep3424 6 років тому +1016

    "If the doctor doesn't turn up in fifteen minutes, you're legally allowed to leave"

    • @alansmithee419
      @alansmithee419 5 років тому +13

      I don't know how many people know this, so I'll say it anyway:
      This was entirely fabricated by students who couldn't be bothered to wait and just wanted to get out of lessons.
      Edit: OK so it seems that I am either gravely mistaken, or specifically people who did have this as a rule replied, while others haven't bothered. Just check yourself, that's the only real solution here.

    • @alansmithee419
      @alansmithee419 5 років тому +1

      @Gonçalo Ferreira did you ask the teachers? Or did you just take your classmates' word for it?
      Maybe it is true for some schools, but in general, it is not.

    • @dielegende9141
      @dielegende9141 5 років тому +4

      Well that's quite a nice rule. Here in Germany we had to go to the vice principal's office after 10 minutes and let him decide if he had to wait longer, would get a substitute or could actually leave

    • @alansmithee419
      @alansmithee419 5 років тому +1

      @@spookyy.k "it avoids the students sitting and doing nothing or standing in a line for hours"
      What? By making them sit or stand doing nothing elsewhere? That doesn't seem useful.
      Though it may work to introduce it as a rule, so that the students leave and get spotted by someone who can then, after realising they should be in a lesson, get a cover for them. Trick the students into thinking they'll get time off in order to ensure they have less.

    • @decaf4450
      @decaf4450 5 років тому +4

      @@alansmithee419 we had the same rule, I guess it helps other classes if there's not an entire loud class talking right outside their classrooms
      We were even allowed to leave the school grounds to go to a supermarket that was a couple dozen feet away (if we were back in time for our next class)
      but school kids suck, so we were quickly no longer allowed to go there.. especially when someone got in a fistfight with the manager. It sounds ridiculous reading it back, but it's all 100% true

  • @peachblossom6941
    @peachblossom6941 5 років тому +2008

    Doctor:what’s your star sign?
    Patient: cancer
    Doctor: *what a coincidence *

  • @angelxstrow5676
    @angelxstrow5676 6 років тому +350

    Ed Gamble and James Acaster are the funniest duo of this generation. The way James laughs at his own jokes is so endearing.

    • @davidedwards3361
      @davidedwards3361 5 років тому +5

      Well he has to laugh at them, because nobody else does!
      Just calling yourself 'Comedian', doesn't make you funny, but sadly, too many young people think that's all it takes.

    • @johnslade4834
      @johnslade4834 5 років тому +45

      David Edwards Did we watch the same video?? All of Acaster’s jokes have the other comedians cracking up constantly

    • @ANDREWOS93
      @ANDREWOS93 4 роки тому +2

      John Slade Acaster isn’t funny

    • @Bagofnowt
      @Bagofnowt 4 роки тому +16

      @@davidedwards3361 wow, it's almost as if comedy is entirely subjective

  • @SeanKL107
    @SeanKL107 6 років тому +2236

    Acaster is so charmingly weird.

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +1169

    ''Don't worry everything you've just told me is private and confidential. Shit my elbow was leaning on the intercom''

  • @xBLXCKBRD
    @xBLXCKBRD 6 років тому +946

    I can’t tell you how happy i am James Acaster exists

    • @nefwaenre
      @nefwaenre 5 років тому +10

      Same here!! He is such a blessing!

    • @ishtiaqrazamushtaq6363
      @ishtiaqrazamushtaq6363 5 років тому +5

      One word: Legend!

    • @gosegose5183
      @gosegose5183 4 роки тому +5

      I can't see the funny in him y'know.

    • @ANDREWOS93
      @ANDREWOS93 4 роки тому +1

      JXMES VGHN he’s really not at all that funny

    • @han666
      @han666 4 роки тому

      I only found his last one funny.

  • @Raas987
    @Raas987 6 років тому +1140

    James is quality

    • @adaml5796
      @adaml5796 6 років тому +21

      Stop being a generic hugh lover. He ran out of good material years ago and now disguises it with obvious punchlines and a smug grin

    • @P0lkoli
      @P0lkoli 6 років тому +7

      HUgh was pretty weak in this one but still has got it

    • @cynicalwho4039
      @cynicalwho4039 6 років тому +7

      A classics a classic!

    • @jamesthomas4580
      @jamesthomas4580 6 років тому +3

      Thanks!

    • @Ash-cb2li
      @Ash-cb2li 5 років тому +1

      Neax 44 James made a childish butt joke and a shit ‘doctor. Doctor’ joke. He’s just slapstick if you find him funny idk what to say about you

  • @spir.tar.herc.129
    @spir.tar.herc.129 6 років тому +560

    James Acaster
    Ready to eat apricots

    • @romainsavioz5466
      @romainsavioz5466 6 років тому +24

      Guavaberry Gua Gua we will fight them on the peaches

    • @duskodair309
      @duskodair309 5 років тому +1

      Guavaberry Gua Gua he knows what he’s too good for

    • @evad4778
      @evad4778 5 років тому +2

      Maybe I’m not as dried apricots as I thought I was

    • @EvilSnowVO
      @EvilSnowVO 4 роки тому +1

      But definitely not cabbages

  • @manavsharma869
    @manavsharma869 6 років тому +197

    James Acaster is genuinely a gift

    • @ANDREWOS93
      @ANDREWOS93 4 роки тому

      Manav Sharma I genuinely, really don’t find him funny. Hugh is the funniest of the lot by far!

    • @manavsharma869
      @manavsharma869 4 роки тому +4

      Andrew O' Sullivan each to their own I guess

  • @TheFrugalVideoGamer
    @TheFrugalVideoGamer 5 років тому +90

    The "A Trophy" gag was unexpected - at least from anyone besides Milton, anyway.

  • @AScleMR
    @AScleMR 6 років тому +350

    So ash, when you said you had to 'catch them all' we thought you implied the pokemon

  • @gboss5119
    @gboss5119 5 років тому +65

    That actually was a good joke from acaster about the curtains

  • @jakewhite3132
    @jakewhite3132 6 років тому +507

    Poor Hugh. Looking more and more dead inside every time someone else steps up to the mic.

    • @TheTruthKiwi
      @TheTruthKiwi 4 роки тому +8

      Hmmm really? I didn't see it.

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +249

    ''So if you like to just lay on the bed for me whilst i turn off the lights and put some romantic music on''

  • @Irgendjemand1986
    @Irgendjemand1986 6 років тому +24

    "More worrying than that is the aggressive ferret..." 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @parkerproductions4546
    @parkerproductions4546 6 років тому +218

    " *pulls out a huge weapon* No I wasn't joking when I said I'm gonna Bazooka that Verruca..!"

  • @rookierook4521
    @rookierook4521 5 років тому +20

    I think my favorite part of these videos is the awkward dance they do when more than one person is ready to go

    • @diehardrvdfan22
      @diehardrvdfan22 5 років тому

      That's not just these videos though. That's every improv video.

  • @imnotanoncebutstephentries8231
    @imnotanoncebutstephentries8231 6 років тому +91

    James Acaster and Ed Gamble are gold

    • @tilly8342
      @tilly8342 5 років тому +4

      i love your comment,profile picture and name

    • @lillylouise8803
      @lillylouise8803 5 років тому +1

      hello so do I.

    • @aliuqaa
      @aliuqaa 5 років тому +1

      everything about you’re profile is perfect 😂

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 5 років тому +21

    ''Does this count as a second opinion if i ask you again?''

  • @ona907
    @ona907 6 років тому +31

    James is so strange, I love it 😂

  • @gpgara
    @gpgara 6 років тому +271

    My entry: "Oh, no, that's totally normal. It's your face you should be embarrassed about."

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +37

    Hello, this is the incontinence hotline, can you hold please?

  • @eoindeegan9804
    @eoindeegan9804 6 років тому +66

    patient: whats the news doctor?
    doctor: well have u heard of cancer:
    patient: yes
    doctor: good can u explain it to me

  • @nirmalsuki
    @nirmalsuki 6 років тому +481

    The waiting list joke is funny because it's true...

    • @purplegarfield1357
      @purplegarfield1357 6 років тому +19

      Nirmal Kirtisinghe I knew a Foreigner would reply

    • @nirmalsuki
      @nirmalsuki 6 років тому +7

      I am actually a foreigner... I am from a country that is 8000 miles away, and I even live there. UK is a toxic environment for brown people. Only sadists go there. It's too cold, the food is horrible, you have to do your own work, and the garbage collection policies are a joke, to name a few things.

    • @hbuss12
      @hbuss12 6 років тому +59

      Nirmal Kirtisinghe You have to do your own work.
      Yeah no shit.

    • @k.o.g5150
      @k.o.g5150 6 років тому +33

      That_One_Nerd_Guy "absolutely hate first world countries. You have to work and they don't pay you to do anything. So boring. They also gave women rights. Like what?" 😂😂😂

    • @u3vs62cja
      @u3vs62cja 6 років тому +33

      Nirmal Kirtisinghe you know if I called India any one of those things I'd be called a racist. But because you said that about the UK and you're brown, it's somehow not racist

  • @jonicthedgehog
    @jonicthedgehog 5 років тому +39

    "I am a doctor yes, but not a medical one... I'm a time lord."

  • @warispointless
    @warispointless 5 років тому +4

    My entry:
    "Oh, yes I have your heart in my hands but from what I've heard, you weren't using it anyway."

  • @adebayo6939
    @adebayo6939 6 років тому +27

    “If you feel a slight pain, don’t worry. I forgot to inject you with anaesthetic.”

  • @TheTeleporter101
    @TheTeleporter101 6 років тому +86

    James acaster is always ridiculous and I love it! XD

  • @WxB2001
    @WxB2001 6 років тому +26

    The guests on the show now may as well be the new regulars, the red haired girl is always on it, as is Ed

    • @arthurvasey
      @arthurvasey 4 роки тому +2

      Angela Barnes - she’s cute!

  • @emiliawelander1417
    @emiliawelander1417 5 років тому +4

    1:42 Preach this guy.

  • @curiousgemini
    @curiousgemini 6 років тому +6

    This had me in stitches

  • @lordblack998
    @lordblack998 5 років тому +13

    "you know, I used to think that the Hippocratic Oath was a hip-hop band."

  • @blinkyrob182
    @blinkyrob182 5 років тому +15

    Acaster is just miles above the rest here, such legendary humour

    • @ANDREWOS93
      @ANDREWOS93 4 роки тому

      kavcrob he’s really not at all funny

  • @londontolosangeles12
    @londontolosangeles12 5 років тому +4

    Really enjoyed this one. Lots of silly lols

  • @jens2049
    @jens2049 3 роки тому +2

    James is so good

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +65

    ''I don't you how you can class me as a heavy drinker. Yes i know i drink 6-8 pints a day but that's water''

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +15

    ''Yes this used to be Dr Shipman's room''

  • @Ratatosk19374
    @Ratatosk19374 5 років тому +1

    I'm from America and this reminds me so much of Whose Line is it Anyway?

    • @gwishart
      @gwishart 4 роки тому +1

      Not surprising really, both programmes have the same creators and producers. Not sure if they were also involved in the American version too, or if they just licensed the format to Yankovision.

  • @SidneyBroadshead
    @SidneyBroadshead 4 роки тому +1

    *Mock the Week* (S17, Ep01)
    Presenter: Dara O'Briain
    Team 1: Ed Gamble (captain), Zoe Lyons, Darren Harriott.
    Team 2: Angela Barnes, Hugh Dennis (captain), James Acaster.

  • @7thheathen
    @7thheathen 2 роки тому

    i tried watching a whole episode and failed. Easily the best section of the show

  • @edwardharriss1463
    @edwardharriss1463 6 років тому +6

    'So if you would just like to remove your clothes and then I'll be out of here in ten minutes and won't bother you again'

  • @theteutonking3306
    @theteutonking3306 5 років тому +14

    Doctor: and when were you born?
    Patient: July 16.
    Doctor: oh! A cancer. How coincidental! You've got crabs...
    ... And cancer.

  • @timebomb4562
    @timebomb4562 4 роки тому +3

    That constipation joke

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 4 роки тому +2

    ''We've had the results back and your condition is herreditary. I really think you should have a word with your brother uhh i mean your dad''

  • @Icarus.101
    @Icarus.101 6 років тому +2

    I went to the doctor the other day. He told me to name a star sign. I said Capricorn. He said no you got cancer

  • @mucusmayhem1118
    @mucusmayhem1118 6 років тому +7

    You must be in for your bellendoscopy, brilliant 😂

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +3

    So you touch your head, hand, and foot and they all hurt. I believe you’ve broken your finger.

  • @spir.tar.herc.129
    @spir.tar.herc.129 6 років тому +10

    New mock the Week
    Awesome

  • @arthurrubio6423
    @arthurrubio6423 6 років тому +2

    My entry:
    You are just supposed to have one of those right?

  • @yungstallion2201
    @yungstallion2201 5 років тому +1

    1:35
    Not even a joke😂

  • @spockolenbrander256
    @spockolenbrander256 2 роки тому +1

    “Medical school is expensive or so I’ve been told.”

  • @KeyrunBenji
    @KeyrunBenji 6 років тому +6

    "So if you press this button, the bed will fold up... Oh wait, I was supposed to press this when you're weren't lying on your stomach".

  • @mechislander
    @mechislander 6 років тому +126

    Ok class, scalpels down! I hope you all managed to locate and remove your own appendix. It's 60% of your grade!
    Medical exam... get it? Please? Anyone?

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +1

    So you’ve got a ringing in your ear you say. Hello?

  • @kayliejoey
    @kayliejoey 5 років тому +2

    3:11 OH MY GOSH YES

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +1

    ''Doctor did i tell you that i suffer from constipation? Yeah no shit''

  • @kassidygoddard5340
    @kassidygoddard5340 5 років тому +1

    The soulmates one 😂😂

  • @dt284
    @dt284 6 років тому +21

    There is a smug on the "n" in "wouldn't". Its distracting once you notice it.
    Your welcome

    • @Aj-tu4gv
      @Aj-tu4gv 6 років тому +5

      Cora-san is King you're ?

    • @thedarkcloud1053
      @thedarkcloud1053 6 років тому +2

      Cora-san is King what?

    • @robotninja27
      @robotninja27 6 років тому +2

      What they mean is that there is a smudge on the letter N on the screen behind them in the word "Wouldn't". Which is fairly large and annoying to look at.

    • @thedarkcloud1053
      @thedarkcloud1053 6 років тому

      Robotninja27 oh yeah, I see. I must have been weirded af when reading it

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +1

    Oh no doc don’t wash your hands. I don’t want my insides to smell like soap.

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 4 роки тому +2

    Doctor, an invisible man is sitting next to me
    Well tell him I can’t see him right now

  • @arthurpewtey
    @arthurpewtey 3 роки тому

    Bellendoscopi...... so true.

  • @skeletalgaming4198
    @skeletalgaming4198 5 років тому +1

    Doctor: "You may feel a small prick...hitting you with a very large hammer."

  • @johnpower29
    @johnpower29 4 роки тому +1

    It's clear watching these clips that Acaster is on a different level to the rest

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +3

    Doctor you’ve got to help me out
    Oh yes, go to the hallway, go to the elevator, press down, and go back the way you came

  • @xtheamazingax
    @xtheamazingax 6 років тому +4

    I've missed you, James. :)

  • @brendanwright9636
    @brendanwright9636 4 роки тому +1

    Put James acasters joke at 1:44 at 1.5x and it sounds funnier

  • @kalenzypie
    @kalenzypie 6 років тому +5

    James got a haircut and MTW IS BACK YESSS

  • @15leungc3
    @15leungc3 6 років тому +2

    Can someone please explain the curtain "a classic is a classic" joke?

    • @SidneyBroadshead
      @SidneyBroadshead 4 роки тому

      02:15 He's trying to pull off one of those meta Milton Jones recycled old jokes.
      "Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains."
      "Pull yourself together."
      Proof that Milton Jones is funnier than you think.

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl 6 років тому

    These... are actually pretty good

  • @porscha901
    @porscha901 5 років тому +2

    I see you have brought a sample, turns out it was apple juce from asda

  • @Jaime-sf8ep
    @Jaime-sf8ep 4 роки тому +1

    Matt complains arbitrary numbers for MEASURING seasons
    Me: Thinks of America and looks at the Imperical system

  • @sarahprice659
    @sarahprice659 6 років тому +1

    That was a good bunch!

  • @1978colvin
    @1978colvin 4 роки тому

    Some of them look miserable as hell when they walk back 😂

  • @newperve
    @newperve 5 років тому +1

    "I'm sorry but the tests show you're totally deaf."

  • @thegdpwhytea439
    @thegdpwhytea439 6 років тому +7

    That black guy seemed really moody for this entire thing.

  • @larapalma3744
    @larapalma3744 3 роки тому

    They were the staff, true lol

  • @NateSean
    @NateSean 6 років тому +1

    I left my urine sample in the bathroom, if you're wondering where your coffer went.

  • @samuelmcfarland6880
    @samuelmcfarland6880 5 років тому

    1:35 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @Tumbleflop
    @Tumbleflop 6 років тому

    1:22 She looks IDENTICAL to my year 11 science teacher, wtf?

  • @TheRDBat5
    @TheRDBat5 6 років тому +101

    My goodness, Mock the Week has gone downhill over the past few years

    • @TheRDBat5
      @TheRDBat5 6 років тому +16

      That's definitely true, and I'm sure you hold a different opinion to me, which is fine. I'm happy for you that you can enjoy these episodes, but I'm afraid they're just not for me. Don't worry, I'm not one of those "when Frankie Boyle left, MTW went to shit"-people, but I've just noticed that something in the quality of the show (maybe the fact that there is only one regular panelist) has changed over the past couple of years.

    • @mattroberts8583
      @mattroberts8583 6 років тому +9

      These are funny lol but James and Hugh carries it

    • @totallyoutofit6989
      @totallyoutofit6989 6 років тому

      No

  • @Pining_for_the_fjords
    @Pining_for_the_fjords 6 років тому +11

    Well the bad news is you have about a week to live. But the good news is you're preg .... Oh wait!

  • @KR-jg7gc
    @KR-jg7gc 4 роки тому

    Bellendoscopy 😂😂

  • @mrunseen3797
    @mrunseen3797 5 років тому +1

    Can someone explain the Rees-Mog joke, please? Non British here

    • @annteve
      @annteve 5 років тому

      Rees-Mogg is a particularly prickish British Politician with an intolerable upperclass affectation. He is notable for opinions that offend ordinary people.

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 років тому +3

    I have some bad news and worse news
    What’s the bad news
    You have twenty four hours to live
    What’s the worse news
    I should’ve called you yesterday

  • @chestnutbloke305
    @chestnutbloke305 5 років тому +1

    Is it just me or has James’ voice got a tad higher since he first appeared on the show?

  • @skin1582
    @skin1582 6 років тому +3

    What’s the comedian called with the black t shirt

    • @emmusic9501
      @emmusic9501 6 років тому +2

      James Richards Ed Gamble

  • @phoebe.newall1449
    @phoebe.newall1449 6 років тому

    Anyone know where that black shirt with the skulls is from?

  • @cattano0
    @cattano0 5 років тому

    I can't help but notice that james looks exactly like shaggy from scooby doo 👀

  • @CROAiva
    @CROAiva 5 років тому +2

    can someone type out the classica a classic joke i didnt hear/understand it 😅😅

    • @h.perkins1840
      @h.perkins1840 5 років тому +2

      “Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!”
      “Well, pull yourself together!”
      “Doctor, I’ve got a genuine mental disorder, that’s so inconsiderate!”
      “Well, a classic’s a classic!”
      Something along those lines.

    • @CROAiva
      @CROAiva 5 років тому +1

      @@h.perkins1840 ahaaaaa thank uuu

  • @celticwolff5429
    @celticwolff5429 5 років тому

    I remember that "constipation" joke from the 80s.

  • @yimika
    @yimika 5 років тому

    What's the beeping sound when they finish

    • @ciarantc7881
      @ciarantc7881 5 років тому

      Each person gets a certain amount of time to complete their joke, the buzzer tells them to get of the performance area so someone else can say something

  • @cowboyfunkk
    @cowboyfunkk 5 років тому

    He can’t even finish the joke 💀 2:25

  • @BigBoy-en2ru
    @BigBoy-en2ru 6 років тому

    Good

  • @XlRiseBeasT
    @XlRiseBeasT 5 років тому

    0:31 How many units do you drink a week,? 4? Tell ya what il just put Absolute lightweight

  • @baddog5936
    @baddog5936 5 років тому +1

    Doctor: I'm afraid your going to have to stop masturbating!
    Patient: Why Doctor? Whats wrong?
    Doctor: I'm trying to examine you.

  • @caitrinmcfetridge8889
    @caitrinmcfetridge8889 5 років тому

    What's the name of the guy in the black and white shirt?

  • @ConstantChaos1
    @ConstantChaos1 6 років тому

    2:05 to 2:16 i lost it

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 років тому +2

    'Mrs Ono we have examined Mr Lennon and i can say that he's completely shot''