I’m so glad you escaped but I’m terribly sorry you had to go through all that pain along with the betrayal trauma. I hope you are now surrounded by love and support 😊
Yes, this one too! I agree. I finally got to the point where I asked myself why I was even bothering to say anything at all…like anything. Because every time I opened my mouth he would talk over me. And the second point is also true from my experience. You’re listening for an hour and can barely get a sentence in. After years and years of that it takes a huge toll on you and you begin to really see that they are not interested in anything you say and that you have no value to them.
most likely because you don't know what you're talking about; women use feelings and men use logic and reasoning. Stop trying to talk over a man, it won't work. Be a woman.
@@lilmac3788 You obviously don't know what the hell YOU'RE talking about. You're telling women to stop talking over men, when the subject was about men talking over women? How is it YOU have the nerve to tell a woman how to be, when you have zero clue how to be a woman? Shut the f*** up and quit talking out of your pathetic, ignorant ass.
You described my relationship. I can’t believe I was blind to this abuse for so long. You’re right about getting physically sick because I’m currently having a ton of health issues. I was a healthy person before him. Toxic people can tear you down. I’m happy to start my journey to love myself and to distance myself from him.
I'm in bed and will not be getting up today as his words hurt me so much and I can't take another day of him. Every time I forgive him he keeps doing it.😢
I started bawling at the 11:00 mark. This literally is my life right now. Whenever he decides to be nice again, and I’m not responding in a positive way (because I’m still pissed/hurt) he goes to threatening all the stuff he won’t do anymore (not pay rent, be nice, etc). It’s just hard to know sometimes if just a temporary storm or just who he is. Year later update!! He left me for one of the women he was cheating on me with and im SO FREAKING HAPPY!! I got my own place now, a better paying job, and I just feel free. I got therapy for the past year and my confidence has gone up so much. Now I can see the red flags immediately, I wish so much for all the women going through this you find your way out. He is **never** going to change.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s a problem in his brain and his processing patterns. It’s not you. If you would like additional support feel free to join my closed Facebook group. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Same 🤦🏼♀️ after he ignores/talks down to me for hours or days, if I'm not instantly ready to forget about it when he decides to either apologize or suddenly act like nothing happened, he will go off again and start saying horrible things. Smh it's hard to live like this. With four kids as a stay at home homeschooling mom and no other place to go, what do you do?
as im sitting in the bedroom, with the door locked in fear after an extremely hostile and verbal abusive argument, this entire video is hitting SO close to home. i know i need to leave. i just want to say thank you for making me not feel crazy, that im not a physco. He has been gaslighting me for years. i fell into depression and anxiety, irregular periods, quitting my job etc. This entire video is an EXACT description of my relationship. After multiple abusive relationships, i am exhausted and absolutely lost. i just want happiness. sorry for venting. i hope all the women being abused verbally/emotionally/physically get help and leave and have support.❤
You are not crazy! Your mind and body can’t even function properly in a toxic situation like that. You deserve to have emotional freedom and happiness on your life. I hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
Same here just like you I lock my self in my room and cry because it is not fair for a person like us that work hard and cook keep our homes clean, and get treated like that😡😢iam so tired of my partner calling me names, and can not even respect me, he changes his moods aften it’s crazy when he does that, I just stay away from him, I wish he would just go away and leave me alone, the apt is under both of us, or maybe I might move out, I don’t even miss him anymore, plus he smells like beer all the time 🤮🤮🤮
I hope you are able to escape and live in peace by yourself with your kids or pets. Just never share a home with a partner again. That's what I would do.
I know that pain. I can tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that there is healing to be found. Staying in that situation is quite toxic for you.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 Ty so much. I pray I could do it. But it’s almost like we’ve been together so long. Are you ready? Brainwashed. At least I know I’m not being treated right. Thank you so much for your support. I guess you were able to get out. Good for you.
@@scegenius8751 Ty. But it is getting worse every day. I don’t understand so many people in this world. Just the heartless people I could see doing stuff to other people on my disgrace of a husband. It just makes me sick. I don’t see it ever getting better I really don’t. I am so sick of crying. I was a good mom, really good. Now they’re young adults and I don’t know. I just feel like I’m a piece of shit mother. I mean I have a great kids they give me great Mother’s Day, but because of all the stuff I’m going through, I’m just using the bed of a dime they come over and cry at my job early as well. We support and all of that but I feel guilty that sometimes like to call them and cry to them like I’m their freaking kid. I know I’m wrong, but I thought her and I were close and I don’t want to see why you can’t talk hardly once a day. I mean I don’t think it’s a big deal I really don’t. I mean I was extra depressed my mothers I had all of that show me that 50 or her talk to me as much my daughter still believable and my son but I know I drive him nuts and then I understand, why I am so sad. I can’t tell him exactly what I’ve been through in the last three years. I can tell them the shit for Dad has done to me. But thank you for your support. I’ll keep trying. It’s just really hard.
I’m so sorry you have been going through that. It’s incredible painful and confusing. You deserve to be respected and feel the reality of your own self worth. If you are interested in a complimentary consultation I would be happy to go over a path to healing with you 💛
I feel like I'm going insane. He's lovely for a bit and then he's screaming at me, swearing at me and he's says it's all my fault. Today it was because he only had one egg left to cook. I don't eat eggs. I was on a phone call to a loved one and he's screaming at me, calling me names. Left me feeling so embarrassed. Like why don't I stand up for myself. Because it's not worth it. I won't win, he scream and shout more. So I just shut down. Later on he's Mr friendly like nothing has happened. I feel like I imagined it all. I can't handle hearing anyone shout at anyone. It makes me tremble. I wish it would stop. It's been going on for 15 years. We have a disabled child. It's not easy to walk away. It's Mr nice and Mr awful. I enabled the behaviour because I run around trying to make everything go smoothly to minimise his stress. I guess I'm one of those women now who doesn't have the strength or confidence to walk away. I didn't used to be this weak. I'm so ashamed and I feel so trapped. I live for his good days and try to keep my head down on his bad days. It's hard to see a positive future. Thank you for letting me rambled on ❤
Don’t be resentful- I am going through a 25 year friendship- 15 year relationship- 7 year marriage. Just found out he’s been having an affair for 2 years-Don’t give him that control. He told me “ you’re the ONLY one of my friends wives that hasn’t sent nice photos”... thank God I didn’t. I went through mental/emotional/verbal/physical abuse but I DID refuse to comply with the demand to send nude photos. He has replaced me now- but I can stand tall in my conviction to not disrespect myself in that way. No shade at ALL to anyone who feels comfortable doing so but my soul told me it would be used against me.
My heart is broken 💔 ... This is exactly what I going through 😭 for everything you mentioned in this video I couldn't believe it's me and what I'm dealing with and even if I cry when he puts me down he makes fun of me and make baby crying noises so heart breaking , the list goes on and on
My husband does 9 of these things. It’s been 14 years and it’s been hard to me to accept the fact he is abusive. I have two children and I don’t have a good job to leave him. As an immigrant is very hard not having my financial independence and not having family close to me as well. I was having anxiety and some level of depression. I finally woke up and I decided I don’t want to live like this anymore. Thank you very much for your video. God bless!
There's lots of resources for immigrants who are in abusive relationships/marriage. Start by searching your state's helpline so you can locate those resources. Wish you the best!
Im here to share my testimony! I had encounter on July 31, 2021 late night in my bedroom. I had just left my abusive husband ( threatened to kill days prior) police wouldnt do nothing when he showed up at my house because "he didnt touch you" although there was history of TPO's and police reports. That night in bed I was gripped by intense anxiety. I was terrified he would show up and hurt me this time. I was laying in bed crying and groaning of the fear. I then heard a clear audible voice in my head that was loud enough to hear over my sobbing. He said " Do you not believe God creator of heaven & earth is more powerful then your husband? I replied through my tears "Yes, Yes I do!" I then cried out to God to help me and protect me and I would live for Him. At that moment a peace that cant be described came over me and I fell asleep the whole night. The next morning I woke up with peace and knew everything would be ok. I know it was the Holy Spirit because at that moment it never occurred to me to cry out to God. After that encounter I have a strong desire to live for Jesus, read bible, pray and live a holy life. My love for Jesus has grown, my faith and a intimate relationship with my Savior is growing deeper by the day❤️🔥 Hallelujah. Praise God.❤❤ John 6:44 and that is what happened that night to me. Since that night everything between my husband is peaceful, still separated but peaceful. My husband never returned to my house nor has laid hands on me. If you knew my husband you wouldnt recognize him now!! It was all God. Hallelujah to the highest Theres no better love then Jesus! Nobody, $$, career or material possessions can fill the holes and heal the heart❤ Jesus is my friend, Savior, my rock, my treasure..my EVERYTHING!
When you were talking about the body responses and explaining how you tensed up when he came 🏡 - definitely relatable. It's a sickening feeling, 😷. This is amazing content, thank you.
I started getting anxiety attacks around 3pm everyday because I knew he got home from work at 430pm. I flinched and jumped everytime he walked into a room
Oh my god so true! We don’t even sleep in the same bed. But when he does come in to try to have sex, oh God, I just want to say get away. There’s times he’s been on top of me and I cried, and he always says oh you don’t want to have fun you don’t want to have sex. I said why the fuck would I wanna have sex with somebody that treats me like shit?? I just got to get a hold of my self because I don’t wanna be crying in front of my kids anymore. I’m supposed to go see a psychotherapist.
Yes you are right. I only discovered what emotional abuse was a few years ago thanks to a woman I met. I didn't know that I was in an abusive relationship until she said that she was worried about me after witnessing my partner. I had no idea what she was worried about because to me it was normal. I went on to discover that both my parents were abusive and so because I grew up like this I saw nothing wrong. I am so grateful to her but now I am trying to discover who I am because I was always who other people wanted me to be.
@@nicolaa9672 I’m so happy that you took that step. It’s a process to figure out who you are and it takes time so be patient with yourself. This is why I specifically work with people’s core belief system because so much of it is subconscious. I wish you all the best of you discover who you want to be 💗. I you would like to be in my closed Facebook group for additional support I would love to have you. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Very true statement. Individuals generally learn these unhealthy behaviors through life's experiences. But its a fine line... I spent 20 years in a toxic/abusive marriage. I too was abused as a child as was my ex. I stayed without realizing it, because I felt sorry about his own predicament, but never thinking twice about my own childhood or the treatment from him. I blamed myself for all of it. It's been a couple years now, im finally starting to see parts of me and my worth in this world. Have hope, keep trying never give up. Network, watch videos such as these, keep friends and family in the forefront. I didn't have a family at age 15, you make your own family. May peace and love be your guiding light.
Telling me it doesn't matter if I die or my adult child. Calling dinner pig slop. Stop your f'ing crying.. too many and now I'm exactly where he wants me in a wheelchair, stuck and no place to go!! I am so ashamed to say I married him 3 times and the fist to my face was the final bullet he used. Evil but more importantly I worry for our grown children... Damages we both may have caused...
You describe the abusive pattern pretty darn aptly. It's actually really crazy how similar narcissts can be, particularly the rageful authoritarian ones who can also seem comforting, reassuring and protective. Before you realize that this is the pattern of narcissistic abuse, it's easy to fool yourself bc the love bombing and trauma bonding is strong.
Exactly! It confuses so many for so long because of the back and forth in their behavior. In the end it’s just so toxic and figuring out that it will not change can save people years of their life.
If you find it hard to extricate yourself from such a relationship, it’s quite possible to find you’re a co-dependent. Especially if you entered into the relationship at a really young age.
Such a great video. I will never forget the day I realized my ex was abusive- I work for a charity and he said “me and my hens clucking on our meetings thinking we are going to change the world”. I was never so hurt - I’ve always felt so good about what I do and it crushed me. It was that day that opened my eyes and I saw all the other things in this list, of which he did 10 of them...I can’t believe I missed it for so long (11 years). So grateful for videos like this that helped me unpack all that was going on. I had trauma bond and still am working on it but these videos are essential to help people see when they are in an abusive situation. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.
Coral Uru Thank you so much for sharing. It’s common for us to be blind to these behaviors. We have been conditioned that way and we also desperately want to give the benefit of the doubt. Stay strong and keep doing the things that you love and believe it 💕
I worked for 15 years especially with special needs kids. There’s days I would come home. So exhausted. And he says, you’re just babysitting kids you don’t know what stress is
And when my partner told me I was "verbally abusive," I definitely got defensive and felt attacked. Holy cow this is reading my mail and it suuucks to realize I'm this way
Ya know what though?? I applied your ability to be open and honest about it at least, that's the only way real change is going to happen and at least you give a shit about changing and being better to her so you're not as bad off as you think you are
Ya know what though?? I applied your ability to be open and honest about it at least, that's the only way real change is going to happen and at least you give a shit about changing and being better to her so you're not as bad off as you think you are
Wow this is probably the most thorough and spot on video I've ever seen on this subject. It describes my ex's behaviour exactly. Anyone reading this who is still in this kind of relationship please find the strength to leave. It doesn't get better, it only escalates to worse and worse abuse. I think the author of the book is obviously very intelligent and has a deep understanding of this issue, however, I disagree that these kinds of people can "change". Most of them cannot even acknowledge that THEY have a problem even if multiple ex partners tell them they same thing or friends or family members agree with you. In all honesty it is NOT worth trying to change them or help them. You're just pouring all your love, kindness, patience and empathy into a deep, dark abyss. They will destroy you for sticking around and trying to save them.
Every single category hits the nail in the head for my situation..my husband says it’s my fault for the way he reacts and I find myself every single day all day apologizing to him for things I didn’t do or for trying to telling him my feeling I have to apologize because he says my feelings don’t matter. Always. I’m not reactive I can’t speak and I shake and I get smaller and he always gets louder and meaner and he starts breaking things and it makes me hurt so much especially when he does this in front of our newborn son everyday…I needed this. I’m not crazy like he says I am..thank you thank you.
U CAN GET OUT, you just think you cant because he's broken u down to where he wants you. I've said this for yearsssss I cant do anything cause of the kids etc, easier to stay then energy to leave. I get it, trust me but when you realize more and more you will start to move away, trust yourself and lean on others for validation. Start by self love and learn how to love yourself again, your worth it, you are...
I really needed to hear the words about 'creating craziness' in your video. It is exactly what I went through in my marriage. I had been repeating these words to my husband for years and he just never accepted what he was doing. Thank you for taking the time to do this video.
cynthia queen thank you for expressing your appreciation! It can be so confusing at times and I’m so glad you are seeing it for the crazy making that it is. It often times requires a strategic intervention to wake these men up. Blessings to you as you walk this journey! 💗
This is painful to accept in myself. I relate to the forgetting/denial. But I don't consciously forget or deny. I genuinely don't remember large portions of full-fledged conversations I have had with my ex. I also don't consciously create chaos but I still do it. I need healing from these behaviors. I never realized I was this bad
Wow! It is so nice to see a man on here that is obviously searching for answers and willing to take some accountability. Not saying that it is all men that are verbal abusers but sadly it seems like it is the predominant case. Keep up the good work Eric and believe in your ability to heal and change! God bless!
Props to you dude! So many partners & it's not limited to just men, women do it as well but it's always key to recognize the issue then you can tackle it.
Would you like some advice? Start your sentences with HER name sometimes. Not I,Me, or My. Refer to Her by name not as your ex. This will help you to see HER as a person. It's good that you admitted you have a problem. Good luck in life and love. Peace out.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Please know that you are not alone. This is more common than most people realize. I hope you have all the support that you need to do all the emotional healing necessary. 💛
When you started listing examples, I started to count just to see how many of those examples I could relate to... sadly I can relate to all 13 of them! 💔
I’m sorry this is a reality for you. For some reason men with these issues have very similar predictable patterns. Please know that it is not your fault. If you would like a bit more support please fee Free To join my closed Facebook group. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Dad blames me for abusing me and punishes me for standing up to him, calling him out. He claims "You misinterpreted what I said". He wants to control me. I am beyond fed up with him. His girlfriend excuses his abuse by saying "That's the way he has always been and won't change." I won't put up and shut the hell up.
I’m incredibly sorry that you’re dealing with that. His pain and wounds are so intolerable to him that he is spewing them out on everyone around himself to avoid looking at himself. You definitely don’t deserve that. Remove yourself from the situation every chance you get. It’s not your job to fix him.
This whole video is my 17 year marriage to a "T". I was planning on getting out when my youngest turns 18 and is out of high school, well that's 7 years away. I'm planning on getting out sooner. I feel so much more powerful now than I did the other two times I left. I am older, wiser, but more exhausted. The exhaustion is ok though, I won't have the energy to care about his begging, pleading, and crying to come back. I'm getting the heck out really soon. Thank you for making these videos to help us victims of psychos realize that we aren't crazy.
You are NOT crazy! You are much stronger than you know. The thing about fear is that the fear itself is worse than taking action on that thing you are afraid of. Once you do it can become incredibly empowering! Your body and mind can finally heal when it’s not steeped in constant toxicity 💗
I can’t believe how many of us are going through the same things. I knew every marriage has troubles. But hearing all of this, I can’t believe it it’s exactly me my life. I never would’ve imagined.
The reactive part instantly made me cry. I have been beating myself up and blaming myself for reacting to his verbal abuse and therfore telling myself I deserved the abuse and that I'm a horrible person. I've been telling myself that I deserve it because I react and if I didn't react then I wouldn't have deserved it. I've felt very confused and self blaming and self hating and after watching this video I finally realize that it's not my fault and me reacting is normal and it doesn't make me a bad person or that I deserved this abuse. You don't know how bad I needed this video. I truly don't know how to thank you.
It absolutely goes both ways. This is an older video when my audience is primarily women. But it applies to either. I hope you have all the support you need. 💛
I had one of these. He would name call and counter a lot. It hurt me deeply. I had to gradually pull away. I also believe we attract these type of people to us. It gave me a deeper understanding of myself.
There are always lessons to be gained from each experience. I’m glad you got away from the toxic relationship. It’s not worth it to stay in most situations.
Dad would blame me for his mistreating me. Especially when I complained. He said I had "no right' to fight against the abuse (his). Mostly verbal abuse. He is insecure/immature, and demands me to be submissive. It doesn't work with me. I don't have to put up with his garbage.
I definitely tense up when he’s around. I’ve been called every name you can think of. If I want to go out with my friends, he loses his mind. I’ve found it easier to just not saying anything at all. I’m planning to leave but I’m terrified of what he’ll do to me. I’ve been physically abused in another relationship but verbal abuse is awful as well.
I always tell my spouse that I am just starting to spread my wings yet again and thrive in life, and every time I get torn down, so I am afraid something bad will happen. He wonders what I am worried about and days later another round of tearing me apart followed. But this time, I am so much stronger! I did all my routine and to do list, even crying, tired, and with my heart aching deeply I did it. I feel like a winner! No matter what he says I believe in me. No one can take that away.
That’s amazing! I’m so glad you’re getting stronger. I do hope you have all the support you need to truly thrive. It’s nearly impossible to do when a spouse is verbally abusive. You deserve to be loved well. 💛
OMG! The description of feeling icky when he comes home. The need to give him 100% of my attention when he comes home. It doesn’t matter if I’m on the phone with my mom/dad/friend/boss, he barrels in asks me when dinner is and even admits that he’s listening in on my conversation and stands there until I hang up.
Omg I can understand everything she’s saying! I love my man but every time he drinks he’s very emotionally abusive and I feel crazy cause he some how turns it around on me like it’s my fault and everything I say/do is wrong. I feel helpless, like I’m never good enough. He’s just good at making people feel bad
Cayla Bellard I’m sorry you are dealing with this. It’s not because of alcohol, it’s likely because of his fear of intimacy or closeness and his belief that you are an extension of him and not entitled to see anything differently than he does . I have a closed group on Facebook if you are interested in joining. Hang in there! facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/?ref=share
Omg just like me he drinks every single day and his mood changes like bad and he starts fights with me and blames me for everything, and the name calling in Spanish is bad, and he looks at me with big eyes 👀 it’s scary, just waiting for him to hit me one day, but he has pushed me hard, 🤔 of leaving him just have to plan it, I got tired of him and his bad mood, he is just not a happy person, we don’t even have childern or even married.
The short, concise format is awesome and much needed on youtube. The problem with so many of the videos on this topic as they are so long, wordy, drawn out, and we have to wait for all of the important points. This is what people who are suffering through these things need to hear, quick concise to the point it helps deliver a message to a scrambled brain. Nice job.
Dad is controlling, verbally abusive, covertly, so others won't tell him to back off and shut up and leave me alone.I am 60. He treats me as if he is entitled to waste my time. He didn't give a reason or apology for being late. His flying monkey/enabling girlfriend made a comment/excuse "That's the way he has always been, he won't change." I refuse to give in to his abuse.
right on, lady! i finaly left an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship with a man who at first was really nice to. he aused me verbally and i was taking everything he dished out for almost 20 years. after he made me feel that i was human waste and no one loved me! it sank in to the core of my soul. i eas so afraid that he would find me! it was so scary. i’m still damaged. i don’t ever want a relationship with a man again! i can’t bring myself to trust in anyone! i hurt all the time, i’m very lonely. i am 66 and i feel that i will never have a true friend. the few friends i’ve had didn’t last long because they would hurt me. i too think what ever did i do to deserve the way people treat me. i’m a good person, i listen to people, i care, i do everything i can to make others feel warm and loved. i have good qualities. i just can’t handle this regection from people who say that they care about me and tell me that they love me. i feel like crying right now just talking about it. i even cut off anything from my daughter because she gets pretty evil sometimes ! i just keep going on, there is nothing more i can do…
Love how my narcissistic spouse who's currently bullying me calling me white trash while shouting to our neighbors about how I'm white trash would only see me in this video. He's very spiritual and thinks of himself as the chosen one yes, like Jesus. No narcissism at all.
Oh my gosh. My husband does this very thing. His voice gets louder and louder so he can make a scene. I'm called white trash, a loud mouth, a crazy bitch. And so many more.
Unfortunately, I've found myself withholding due to several years of criticism, countering, undermining, trivializing,and ordering . Followed by times of love and fun. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
@@jennyprong2853 that’s not uncommon. When our bids for connection are not reciprocated, it shuts a person down and withholding is a natural byproduct. It’s definitely not a healthy way to have a relationship.
Hearing this I felt my body tightening up and sick. Almost from the beginning of our marriage he would say "for such an intelligent woman you're so stupid" which made me feel that I can't do anything or calling me "Puchi" cuz I gained weight. I was diagnosed with RA three years ago and he said it's in your head.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. If you are interested in having a complimentary consultation please visit my website or schedule a call at this link. You can heal from this. You don’t have to do it alone. calendly.com/ketrathompson/call-availability
I’m sick to my stomach. I’ve ignored these behaviors from my husband, but since I gave birth 1.5 years ago, he’s gotten worse towards me. He tells me he hates me, calls me names, and I had actually just told him I’m extremely confused where the truth lies in how he feels about me. I often describe our relationship like a ping pong match. I have no idea which side of the net he’ll be on at any moment, or what question will set him off. He is constantly the polar opposite of anything I say and will often rewrite conversations we had to the point where I’ve started taking notes after an argument. He’s threatened to take my kid away from me if we got divorced which would end me. I have no idea how to continue forward, I feel the need to protect my son, but I’m a teacher… with a teacher’s income. I feel trapped.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You always have more options than you see in the moment. It’s wise to use cash to pay for an attorney consultation with a good divorce attorney so that you can understand your rights. His threats do not equal what would actually happen in a divorce. But you need to be cautious and careful and get as much help for yourself and your own healing as possible. 💛
My ex used to say to me ‘I love you even though your a pain in the arse (PITA)’ and then call me PITA and say he was being endearing....got that daily 😢. He also used to call me mentally ill and constantly asked me how my head was....BTW he is in no way qualified to diagnose me or anyone else and I have never been diagnosed with any disorder...except being his verbal punching bag
Wow, Ketra, you are one BRILLIANT Lady. Talk about hitting the nail RIGHT on the head. I cannot tell you how many videos I've watched (during the course of time) in effort to "confirm" all you've laid out here...all previous having failed miserably and or "bait/switch". I knew it wasn't "me"... Thank you VERY much, WELL done.
@@Beulah24-r3d Thank you! I’m sorry that you’ve lived through this but I’m glad that you feel validated and this was helpful for you. I hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
Same here married 36 years. As the years have gone by it has gotten increasingly worse. I now have an autoimmune disease. I feel like the constant stress triggered my RA. He drinks daily so never know if he is jeckel or Hyde. It is mentally draining.
I actually started thinking I was the problem. My husband does all these things and more. When I bring up how he hurts me, he says I’m too sensitive. What’s worse is my daughter does the same thing. She grew up with her dad disrespecting me so she thinks it’s ok. I’ve suffered through this for thirty years and I’m losing my mind. I’ve been seeing a therapist and taking medication for the last 15 yrs. This has totally destroyed my self esteem and I feel stuck. I will definitely order The verbally abusive man. Thank you for the helpful insight.
@@lachandathomas I’m truly sorry that you’ve been dealing with this. It is toxic on so many levels, both mentally and physically. I help my clients regain their self confidence through Custom Hypnotherapy programs all the time. If you’re interested in more support, check out the link in the description to this video to set up a free consultation call. 💛
My ex...when I was married to him used to tell me about all his sex activity before he was with me...it hurt and it was almost he was comparing me with something he wanted in me...NOT. Telling me he was going to go to Canada and find a prostitute.....if I didn’t want to have sex at the time. Tell me what friends I could hang with...and so much more....woke up after 29 years. I always thought and prayed he would change...nope.
My husband gaslights me all the time. So tired of him. And he doesn't communicate. He also ignores me, ignores a question, acts like he didn't hear me.
My husband and I met and married after our spouses died. We are both old and have been married several years. For at least a year he has done every single thing on this list to me (maybe longer than a year).I am seeing my whole life as a constant relationship with someone who doesn't really love or respect me. It is starting to effect my health and I want to stop being a slave to how I feel but also feel obligated to not leave him because of his age.Your video showed me that it's not my fault and I am the only one sustaining this marriage. Now I must gain the strenght to make the change to put happiness back into my life......Thank you so much
I’m so glad that this helped you feel validated. It’s my opinion that the best place to start is pouring into yourself and your life by building up friendships and activities that you love so you can feel strong and happy before making a decision about what is the right move for you at this time.
That’s really common. People learn there is no point to speaking if you are going to be turned against or treated with criticism. It’s a coping mechanism but if you keep betraying your own self expression it will eat you up and can eventually cause illness. I hope you are able to get free. If you visit my website you can sign up for my email list and be notified when I have coaching openings. I wish you all the best.
Funny, I’m a guy and you described my anger all in one. I yell at my girlfriend and I am not a needy person. I came to this video to figure out why I get so angry at my love. Now, just to clarify, I don’t cheat, I’m loyal, I work everyday and I am the only provider, I come home to no meal, but I cook and I clean, I try to be calm before I address her feelings, but doesn’t want to open up, we argued and we fought. This is the first relationship where I’ve acted this way and I’m trying to find out ways to become a better partner. Then again, I fully agree that i verbally abuse my relationship. At the same time, I want equality for respect for what I do. Thanks for the video and I hope that God guides me to a better path than what im doing.
I’m so glad you have some insight into what you are doing. The reality is it is that there are deeper beliefs that are driving your behavior. You probably need to be able to self regulate your emotions and then clearly express your wants and needs calmly without blame. Then you need to be able to accept that you both are allowed to have needs and express them in a safe way. The anger underneath is often about other things. I help clients get tot The root of those things and reframe them on a subconscious level with custom hypnotherapy
Omg you just described word for word what I have experienced in over 16 years. That constant pulling in and out and you think that you are the most ungrateful person that ever existed. Thank you for this video. My body tenses up every time he gets close. I just start to figuring things out….
Why do we fall for these kinds of partners? Unfortunately I realized he is this way far too late. I’ve been very sick for several years with no diagnosis until about 5 years ago. It’s been over twenty years of being tested for everything under the sun? Finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia after all these years of being abused. Don’t wait thirty years to get out, just do it before it’s too late for you. Please! 😢
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It’s never too late to get away and create a life that heals. I truly believe these kinds of people are deceptive and sell us on a fantasy. I also believe that many times we are conditioned to always be the nice one or to blame ourselves and because we don’t grow up learning boundaries we don’t recognize when someone has crossed the line. Or we think this is love because of how a parent treated us. But regardless of why we get into them, we can get out and heal. 💗
So true, I think its what we grew up with to some extent & feeling like we can "fix" them! After 30+ years I know I should have been stronger.... need to get out 😔
@@susanaustin_filmproducer yes soo true! I keep thinking what a waste to just throw all that time away but then I immediately realize that the time I have left needs to be happy loving & mostly safe for me. It’s sad to know that I can leave so easily now? I do hope you have a safe & loving life from here on out as well?
@@melolore1280 Thnxyou and yes so true, we are getting too old for drama's and walking on egg shells .... so sad! I don't know it will be so easy as he controls everything (including $) but my health and well being is suffering I just feel it :-( Much Love to you also and I wish the same for you Xo
I've been doing number 1 lately because hes doing everything else in the list . I know not speaking to him isnt helping but I'm in year 25 and idk what else to do. I've tried talking to him he says I'm tired of everytime I get home from work you bombard me with stuff , so I stopped talking to him when he walks in except for hellos after he relaxes I try again he tells why cant you let me relax then it became let me know when you want to talk and when I'm ready I'll come find you so I wait when he comes the whole time I'm speaking hes sighing ,rolling his eyes and trying to walk away so now I've just stopped speaking
It’s very common to go quiet when you have been ignored or criticized so much. It’s a natural defense mechanism. My new 8 week program walks women through all the steps to rediscovering themselves and empowers them to request real change. I also have a closed face support group where I share additional information. If you are interested in joining. This is the link. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Yes, once you stop talking, interacting and basically act like their invisible they get rather comfortable with that as thank God, she got the point. Remember WE are the problem in their eyes, the 1 that causes the misery and that ruins everything. Happy we shut up and some can live like this for an infinity, I know mine can if I allow led him too. I cant coexist, feel ignored, unloved, non intimate and not alive. Took me 12 mts to get to this mental state amd finally got an attorney.
This video is so helpful. He has done a pattern of these things and I feel guilty for feeling hardly any love left. I’m exhausted and I definitely get sick a lot. He has hurt my dogs. he has improved but like 95% wants to leave. I just get scared to leave and feel frozen and sad over the good parts of him. I just don’t know what to do when he is kind and loving. I hate that he changes to be this mean and kinda scary guy. 😢
@@autumn6353 i’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this. It’s incredibly painful. I do hope you get all the help you need so that you can heal and live a fulfilling life regardless of whether or not you stay or go. If you’d like to set up a complementary consultation, call, the link to do that is in the description of this video. I’d be happy to chat with you and give you my best recommendations.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thanks so much! I think I’ll do that. It’s so hard. He goes from being an absolute jerk to being so kind and apologetic. I’m so confused and tired.
You found your calling. Youve been pressed and crushed and became a diamond for good. Thankyou for understanding and helping women realize whats really going on before they do become crazy. Lets dont let them make us crazy.
Thanks so much for watching. I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. You are welcome to join my closed Facebook group. Where I share other resources facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
This is happening everywhere. A lot of unhappy men who can't fix the problems except themselves. They are bringing down women with them. So wrong and sick
My husband is always accusing me of looking at other men.. just this weekend I was so happy to get out the house with our friends and it turned into nonsense. He start accusing me of looking at some guy while I waited for food on the bbq and when I told him he was crazy he called me a slut! I shut down and haven't talked to him so he's mad at me for being mad at him and is packing to leave me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s impossible to reason with someone who is committed to twisting reality. I truly hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
This was really helpful even though there’s a lot that my husband doesn’t do. Thank you for the warning of not telling my husband that he’s verbally abusive because that was going to be my next step, lol!
I’m glad you are finding some validation for what you have been going through. You are certainly not alone. My coaching is currently sold out but I will be opening up a few more slots. If you would like to get on the email list to be notified for those opening please sign up at the bottom of the page on this link. coachketra.com/coaching#coaching
I listen to my husband when he talks for a lengthy time, 30 mins, and when I start talking, he says.. “wow you talk a lot!!” And I’ve only been talking 5 mins!
I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s so coming though. You are welcome to join my closed Facebook group for additional support. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
This was an answer to my prayers. I have been separated from my ex husband for 1 1/2 years, slowly going through a divorce that just got finalized. I spent almost a decade being quietly verbally abused and didn't see it until a year before I left. This is the best explanation I have ever come across for the way that he treated me. Thank you so very much for sharing this with us. It feels like I finally have some answers and it makes me feel like leaving that marriage was the best and only answer.
Thank you for sharing this, I unfortunately relate to way to many of these scenarios in my current relationship. This is helping me to put things in perspective and I realize things are worse than what I was originally thinking/feeling. I'm so happy to hear it in perspective that I'm not losing my mind and I am a lovable and loving individual. Thank you kindly 🌿💫🌻💜
I’m so glad you found this helpful. I hope you continue to see things clearer and clearer as you realize you don’t deserve to be treated this way. The bare minimum in a relationship is respect, mutuality and kindness.
Thanks coach i really needed to hear that. 10.53 Its hard to get out when u r so deep in. Im battling cancer at the same time dealing with overt & covert abuse.
I do NOT want to label this situation as being verbally abusive. That's why I watched this video. I have been researching for hours every day for hours about verbal abuse. I think I'm being verbally abused by my mom. Why I found out when I'm working on moving out? I have no idea. But looking back my mom is a good mom until she's discouraged. And in the past she's been discouraged about different things in different times. She's healed from the problem, but everything that has been said or done in these steps, this is what she's said or done over the years. And now I'm starting to believe it was and is verbal abuse.
It’s hard to accept this reality about a parent. Try to remember that our parents grew up internalizing messages that they then pass on to you. The best thing you can do is to create respectful boundaries with her and learn to protect your own emotional well being. Boundaries are hard at first but worth it.
When I was growing up I was taught that sticks and stones can break my bones but words can’t hurt me. I guarantee that everyone does the things on this list in relationships. That does not make them abusive.
Doing them, sometimes does not make anyone abusive. Doing them continually on a daily basis in an excessive manner does make them abusive. When someone won’t hear how they’re hurting their partner and adjust their behavior that’s a problem.
OMG my husband would make me explain and justify every single opinion. And you are right, couples counseling was pointless, he would spend the entire sessions complaining about me. Finally I understand that I want to start a new life!!!!🙂🌞🌞
#12 it's gaslight #7, is destroying me and I get so defensive I hate how much he constantly criticizes everything I do with our kids and judging me. I feel so turned off and I closed off sexually from him. And constantly telling me I should clean, cook, do laundry all alone mop and vacuum just because I'm stay at home wife mother I think he needs a maid !!
@@mahaalotaibi8352 this sounds like pretty normal behavior from a person like this. It’s absolutely exhausting. If you become a doormat you lose all of the respect. If you stand up to them in anyway, they want you to shrink down and do what you’re told. You can’t win. If you’d like to discuss how to regain your confidence and get some clarity, feel free to set up a consultation call. It’s completely free in the link in the description of the video. I wish you all the best. 💛
My man just hurt my feelings so badly because I was gone for an hour extra and I didn’t answer his calls. He called me a liar and a cheater over and over again and says things like, “half fun f*cking other guys,” then when I started sobbing in the bathroom he goes “why are you crying? Stop crying it’s so annoying.” I’m so hurt and can’t stop crying. I wish I had someone to talk to but I feel so ashamed to go to my friends and family. I know I deserve better. I wish I never met him. This is after almost 7 years...
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please know it’s not a problem with you. It’s a problem with his own entitlement and control issues. If you would like a bit more support fee free to join my closed Facebook group. facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
My husband told me I was cheating while pregnant with HIS child. He was also my first partner in bed. I never slept with anyone but him. I’m not vid first and he’s been with multiple women before. He still thinks I’m a cheater when he’s mad
I’m a SAHM & I am home with my children all day. It is a blessing, but it can be difficult. I have an energetic 2 year old as well as a 7 year old special needs daughter. I also homeschool. My husband has called me lazy & unproductive because at the end of the day I am wiped & I’ll take time to sit or even nap when I can. He has guilt-tripped me over taking naps many times. He also has said that if he doesn’t get sex from me he’ll find it somewhere else. Recently he has made rude comments about how I read my Bible & pray everyday. He said “this is a reflection of someone who does her devotions every day”. He makes me feel like crap.
I’m so terribly sorry that you’re going through this. I truly believe that anyone in a situation like yours needs lots of support and help to regain their mental emotional and physical strength. This kind of relationship long-term can cause a lot of damage. I truly hope you have the support you need. 💛 I would recommend the book controlling people by Patricia Evans. If you’d like more support, feel free to set up a complementary consultation call. The link to do that is in the description of the video.
#10 for me…. And i got teary and couldn’t hold back at that part. Wow and the demeaning way he talks to me these days is hurtful. I feel stupid all the time afraid of what I may say wrong to trigger his choice of words.
Patricia Evans' book came into my e-book collection 5 years ago. Reading page for page, I was nodding my head to each word, affirming that I've been dealing with most of these behaviours. That was an absolute eye-opener to the ultimate confusion I had been living for decades. Thank you for bringing this topic up with the examples you give and sharing your own experience
I am going through this right now. I have a 3 yr old and a baby on the way with him. I’m so confused and have no idea what to do right now. Every single one of these is 1000% on point!!! Literally, every single one Edit: I’m always called a liar for repeating what he says later on. He will swear he didn’t say it. And the sex thing is said to me everyday. I don’t know…. This video really touched home for me!!
I’m really sorry you are going through this. It’s traumatic. You are NOT crazy! Visit my website to sign up for my email list to be informed of new coaching openings and exclusive content. You don’t have to stay small just to survive and you don’t have to walk in egg shells forever. Even if you are doing it to survive right now. Visit CoachKetra.com I wish you all the best! 💗
I am going through this too and it is so hard . I'm calling disgusting and hurtful names most days and its emotionally draining me. He even says that I am putting sleeping pills in his food/drink and going out when he's asleep to be with other men. Its crazy and I cry nearly every day
@@TB-wt6et I hope you have a safe way out of this. It’s not a relationship, it’s abusive. You are not crazy. You have been manipulated. I truly hope the best for you!
My husband is very unstable with his mood. Some small things makes him angry. And it's always hot and cold. His behaviour. After shouting at me he doesn't speak to me anymore. He tells me I am stupid, I don't have anything in my had, although it might be true, I was always insecure about myself. I accepted him as he was. He has some issues with his anger. And his masculinity too. I accepted that. Partnership in marriage is more important. But, my health issues are declining, especially tachycardia and anxiety. But, I have no choice. When I go somewhere, I feel full of energy, but when I back home, my physical and mental energy is completely drained. It's exhausting.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s extremely common to have major health issues if you are married to an emotional abuser. It’s hard to fully realize the depth of the damage but once you are free from it, your whole world may open up. It more damaging than most of us realize. I wish you the very best and I hope you are able to find emotional freedom.
I won't lie, the most infuriating thing is when they pretend that what they are doing to you is actually what you are doing to them. I remember waking up with my left eye socket completely swollen shut and swollen from where he had grabbed me by the hair and slammed my face into the kitchen island counter the night before, and asking him what happened because I was completely discombobulated, and he responded with, "You just got what you deserved for ripping out my beard" when in actuality, I blindly grabbed at anything to get him to let go of my newly smashed skull and unfortunately it was his beard. Several hours later, my face was black and blue on top of even more dramatic swelling and he started tearing up staring at me because he said he felt really guilty for what he had done, so I ended up comforting him. I bring up his physical abuse because honestly I've never been in a relationship that wasn't verbal and emotional abuse and frankly, I'm used to it, but I did not expect things to get as bad as they have. While not all verbal abusers will end up becoming physically abusive as well, I think the risk is too high and we should all assume the verbal abuser will become violent as well and that it is only a matter of time before he does. Stay safe. We can protect each other. Don't wait for it to get worse before you decide to make it better (by leaving). Much love and hope to anyone out there reading this.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re right, not all are physically abusive but it is a very real danger. Abuse in any form crushes the spirit. I hope you are receiving all the help and support you need to heal. You have shared so much brave insight here. The main reason I love hypnotherapy is that it helps us get to the root cause of why we keep ending up in the same kind of relationships. Although much of it is because of their deception in the beginning their are things our subconscious mind feels are normal and overlooks. 💛
What about when the very act of expressing something turns into, "You're just starting an argument!", which implies that the only way to get along is to silence your own voice. Or if instead of hearing what you are saying, he says, "You're right. I'm just an asshole. I'm a piece of shit." Or if you don't drop a point because he won't acknowledge it, so instead he gets angry and loud and in your face and starts slamming things and blames it on you, saying, "I warned you to stop or I would get like this." What are these patterns called?
That’s deflection, projection and manipulation. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic and if you keep Shri king down and not communicating you’ll lose your sense of self.
My husband is verbally abuse me. I always think this is normal part of relationship but is not. Been dealing with this for 10 year and I lose hope in man and my marriage.
Ignoring you completely and walking off when you speak. Using you to absorb and agree with all their observations when watching a programme, but ignoring yours. Standing in front of the TV. When you try again to speak to them after being ignored they say stop going on about it and then add your name at the end just to make you feel that extra bit worse
My husband had lots of emotional, verbal and beatings from his mother and an apathetic father. So I can see why he falls into this. However he also doesn’t want to get help for this. It’s sad. I regret that I didn’t heed all the red flags
If he won’t get help then he is choosing to stay that way. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have all the support you need to heal. 💛
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 I really didn't realize that there's verbal abuse. I really thought that I am the problem to our relationship. I wish I could go back time so that I don't experience this 😞😢
joanamariel basa most people don’t realize it because they spend so much time trying to over explain their points and truly believing that if they can just explain it the right way their spouse will finally understand. It’s an exhausting cycle. I highly recommend the book The Verbally Abusive man, can he change by Patricia Evans. It’s available in audio too.
Oh my goodness. This is my soon to be ex husband to a tee. Your description here is exactly what I have experienced for 13 years. I always felt like a battered wife without physical abuse. The mind games,pouting, name calling and constant reminders of things he could remember from Years ago that I didn’t do!! After disagreements later on he would call me saying “are you okay” ? At times I was tensing up as you mentioned, and just finally got sick & tired of being stressed out . You can never win with this person no matter how hard you tried. I could write a book. I’m tired now & finally decided to get away from this man. I can be happy alone . I sure hope others can be strong and just move past all of this behavior. Thanks for your content here. 💕
I’m soooooo glad you are getting out! Good job! That can be the hardest part for so many because of the confusion that goes along with this type od behavior. Your nervous system is going to feel so much better. Stay on the journey of healing from all the damage that’s been done ❤️🩹
I know a powerful man who can help you out with your wishes, he helps people all over the world any kind of wish you desire...because when I tried this several times but no result some one recommended him to me he helped me out with my wishes and i'm so happy now why not give him a trial
Don’t beat yourself up about this. People who are emotionally destructive are also manipulative and confuse the brain with trauma bonding (intermittent love and rejection). Nobody can predict these things but we can heal and we can learn what the red flags are so we don’t get into the same situation again. I wish you all the best!
What kind of therapist would you recommend? I've been trying to get my husband to go to marriage counseling thinking that would help. But he completely fits this description. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m crying 😭 some of this is my husband attitude towards me. I’ve been thinking I’m crazy and often he said it’s my hormones. Ilove him so much but he hurts me sooo very much that I don’t think he cares.
I NEVER would have pinpointed my husband as verbally abusive without this video. He doesn’t explicitly name call or say mean things, but he does almost all of the other stuff. I always thought I had a problem because I would lash out from the hurt that he caused me, but after watching this, the lightbulb has come on.
Once again, an abusive woman justifies her abuse while demanding to be treated like a queen. Sounds like you are the only abuser in the family, and this video has just given you a way to justify your crappy behavior.
When you mentioned about church ⛪️ and acting a certain way to make it look to everyone else like things are a certain way I wanted to cry 😭 I just can’t do that anymore. I’ve hit the wall. And it especially feels like a slap in the face that it’s reinforced by that person’s friends there and you know that no one would even believe you…plus you don’t want to do or say anything to make them look bad to their friends…so it’s like a double whammy.
Exactly! So you end up protecting them and their behavior and shrinking yourself down to do it. As if you don’t deserve to be able to be honest and shine in your own life. You don’t deserve that and God did not intend that. 💛
I know a powerful man who can help you out with your wishes, he helps people all over the world any kind of wish you desire...because when I tried this several times but no result some one recommended him to me he helped me out with my wishes and i'm so happy now why not give him a trial
I can recommend you to a man who would help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days.E.g Money, Love, Lotto Numbers, Soul Mate, promotion of job, etc.
I was verbally abused for 40 years of marriage and he left me for the young bosses daughter. Thank goodness. I now see that he did me a favor.
I’m so glad you escaped but I’m terribly sorry you had to go through all that pain along with the betrayal trauma. I hope you are now surrounded by love and support 😊
The verbal abuse is horrible. And then they say that we provoke them
Congratulations, it’s a pity it took 40 years , shine bright sweetheart ❤
Number 14: Talking over you, especially loudly. He won't let you get a word in edgewise.
Yes!
Yes, this one too! I agree. I finally got to the point where I asked myself why I was even bothering to say anything at all…like anything. Because every time I opened my mouth he would talk over me. And the second point is also true from my experience. You’re listening for an hour and can barely get a sentence in. After years and years of that it takes a huge toll on you and you begin to really see that they are not interested in anything you say and that you have no value to them.
Agreed..... NOT A SINGLE WORD...😔
most likely because you don't know what you're talking about; women use feelings and men use logic and reasoning. Stop trying to talk over a man, it won't work. Be a woman.
@@lilmac3788 You obviously don't know what the hell YOU'RE talking about. You're telling women to stop talking over men, when the subject was about men talking over women? How is it YOU have the nerve to tell a woman how to be, when you have zero clue how to be a woman? Shut the f*** up and quit talking out of your pathetic, ignorant ass.
Dealing with psychopaths is beyond exhausting.
Frfr
I'm tired thinking about him/his enabling/flying monkey girlfriend.
You described my relationship. I can’t believe I was blind to this abuse for so long.
You’re right about getting physically sick because I’m currently having a ton of health issues. I was a healthy person before him. Toxic people can tear you down. I’m happy to start my journey to love myself and to distance myself from him.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this but I’m so glad you are seeing the truth.
I'm in bed and will not be getting up today as his words hurt me so much and I can't take another day of him. Every time I forgive him he keeps doing it.😢
I’m legit feeling that too! Physically sick of it and nauseated
@@diabloakland Hope you're not pregnant
@@ms.bubs4fun506 I’m not.
I started bawling at the 11:00 mark. This literally is my life right now. Whenever he decides to be nice again, and I’m not responding in a positive way (because I’m still pissed/hurt) he goes to threatening all the stuff he won’t do anymore (not pay rent, be nice, etc). It’s just hard to know sometimes if just a temporary storm or just who he is.
Year later update!! He left me for one of the women he was cheating on me with and im SO FREAKING HAPPY!! I got my own place now, a better paying job, and I just feel free. I got therapy for the past year and my confidence has gone up so much. Now I can see the red flags immediately, I wish so much for all the women going through this you find your way out. He is **never** going to change.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s a problem in his brain and his processing patterns. It’s not you. If you would like additional support feel free to join my closed Facebook group.
facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Relate!!
Mine does the same thing!!!!! I’m going to couples counseling alone now. We have a son and I don’t want him to be like that
GET OUT OF THERE! I stopped whining and complaining and got MAD! Anger is great, it'll get you the fuck out of there!
Same 🤦🏼♀️ after he ignores/talks down to me for hours or days, if I'm not instantly ready to forget about it when he decides to either apologize or suddenly act like nothing happened, he will go off again and start saying horrible things. Smh it's hard to live like this. With four kids as a stay at home homeschooling mom and no other place to go, what do you do?
as im sitting in the bedroom, with the door locked in fear after an extremely hostile and verbal abusive argument, this entire video is hitting SO close to home. i know i need to leave. i just want to say thank you for making me not feel crazy, that im not a physco. He has been gaslighting me for years. i fell into depression and anxiety, irregular periods, quitting my job etc. This entire video is an EXACT description of my relationship. After multiple abusive relationships, i am exhausted and absolutely lost. i just want happiness. sorry for venting. i hope all the women being abused verbally/emotionally/physically get help and leave and have support.❤
You are not crazy! Your mind and body can’t even function properly in a toxic situation like that. You deserve to have emotional freedom and happiness on your life. I hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
Same here just like you I lock my self in my room and cry because it is not fair for a person like us that work hard and cook keep our homes clean, and get treated like that😡😢iam so tired of my partner calling me names, and can not even respect me, he changes his moods aften it’s crazy when he does that, I just stay away from him, I wish he would just go away and leave me alone, the apt is under both of us, or maybe I might move out, I don’t even miss him anymore, plus he smells like beer all the time 🤮🤮🤮
May God bless you with freedom from an abusive relationship & you enjoy happiness forever ❤️
I hope you are able to escape and live in peace by yourself with your kids or pets. Just never share a home with a partner again. That's what I would do.
@@jenniferw5095Doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
1:13 Withholding
1:24 countering
1:42 discounting
1:51 abuse disguised as a joke
2:22 blocking and diverting
2:30 accusing and blaming
2:46 judging and criticizing
3:05 trivialization
3:26 undermining
3:44 Threatening
3:59 name calling
4:22 forgetting and denial
4:51 ordering
It's like you described step by step how my wife deals with anything I do that she doesn't like, and anytime I try to talk to her about my day.
I watched out of curiosity. Good video
The pain hurts so bad that sometimes I actually feel my heart move.
I know that pain. I can tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that there is healing to be found. Staying in that situation is quite toxic for you.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541
Ty so much. I pray I could do it. But it’s almost like we’ve been together so long. Are you ready? Brainwashed. At least I know I’m not being treated right. Thank you so much for your support. I guess you were able to get out. Good for you.
@@Chippy88You can do it. I did it too. I don’t care how long you’ve been together. You can start out on your own!
@@scegenius8751
Ty. But it is getting worse every day. I don’t understand so many people in this world. Just the heartless people I could see doing stuff to other people on my disgrace of a husband. It just makes me sick. I don’t see it ever getting better I really don’t. I am so sick of crying. I was a good mom, really good. Now they’re young adults and I don’t know. I just feel like I’m a piece of shit mother. I mean I have a great kids they give me great Mother’s Day, but because of all the stuff I’m going through, I’m just using the bed of a dime they come over and cry at my job early as well. We support and all of that but I feel guilty that sometimes like to call them and cry to them like I’m their freaking kid. I know I’m wrong, but I thought her and I were close and I don’t want to see why you can’t talk hardly once a day. I mean I don’t think it’s a big deal I really don’t. I mean I was extra depressed my mothers I had all of that show me that 50 or her talk to me as much my daughter still believable and my son but I know I drive him nuts and then I understand, why I am so sad. I can’t tell him exactly what I’ve been through in the last three years. I can tell them the shit for Dad has done to me. But thank you for your support. I’ll keep trying. It’s just really hard.
Me2❤
This is exactly what I have been going through for 14 years. I thought I was the crazy one. The one who instigated everything. It makes sense now.
I’m so sorry you have been going through that. It’s incredible painful and confusing. You deserve to be respected and feel the reality of your own self worth. If you are interested in a complimentary consultation I would be happy to go over a path to healing with you 💛
I feel like I'm going insane. He's lovely for a bit and then he's screaming at me, swearing at me and he's says it's all my fault. Today it was because he only had one egg left to cook. I don't eat eggs. I was on a phone call to a loved one and he's screaming at me, calling me names. Left me feeling so embarrassed. Like why don't I stand up for myself. Because it's not worth it. I won't win, he scream and shout more. So I just shut down. Later on he's Mr friendly like nothing has happened. I feel like I imagined it all. I can't handle hearing anyone shout at anyone. It makes me tremble. I wish it would stop. It's been going on for 15 years. We have a disabled child. It's not easy to walk away. It's Mr nice and Mr awful. I enabled the behaviour because I run around trying to make everything go smoothly to minimise his stress. I guess I'm one of those women now who doesn't have the strength or confidence to walk away. I didn't used to be this weak. I'm so ashamed and I feel so trapped. I live for his good days and try to keep my head down on his bad days. It's hard to see a positive future. Thank you for letting me rambled on ❤
I'm so resentful I'm crying watching this
Processing this reality to so hard. Be patient with yourself. It’s not your fault 💗
Me too😤😤
Don’t be resentful- I am going through a 25 year friendship- 15 year relationship- 7 year marriage. Just found out he’s been having an affair for 2 years-Don’t give him that control. He told me “ you’re the ONLY one of my friends wives that hasn’t sent nice photos”... thank God I didn’t. I went through mental/emotional/verbal/physical abuse but I DID refuse to comply with the demand to send nude photos. He has replaced me now- but I can stand tall in my conviction to not disrespect myself in that way. No shade at ALL to anyone who feels comfortable doing so but my soul told me it would be used against me.
@@angiecarver3999 you are inspirational! thank you for sharing
My heart is broken 💔 ... This is exactly what I going through 😭 for everything you mentioned in this video I couldn't believe it's me and what I'm dealing with and even if I cry when he puts me down he makes fun of me and make baby crying noises so heart breaking , the list goes on and on
My husband does 9 of these things. It’s been 14 years and it’s been hard to me to accept the fact he is abusive. I have two children and I don’t have a good job to leave him. As an immigrant is very hard not having my financial independence and not having family close to me as well. I was having anxiety and some level of depression. I finally woke up and I decided I don’t want to live like this anymore. Thank you very much for your video. God bless!
I’m so glad you are choosing to prioritize your happiness. I hope you have all the support you need 💛
There's lots of resources for immigrants who are in abusive relationships/marriage. Start by searching your state's helpline so you can locate those resources. Wish you the best!
how are you doing now after 2 years?
OMG, the countering! I never knew there was a name for that. It's annoying and maddening!
it’s so sad and lonely too.
Im here to share my testimony! I had encounter on July 31, 2021 late night in my bedroom. I had just left my abusive husband ( threatened to kill days prior) police wouldnt do nothing when he showed up at my house because "he didnt touch you" although there was history of TPO's and police reports. That night in bed I was gripped by intense anxiety. I was terrified he would show up and hurt me this time. I was laying in bed crying and groaning of the fear. I then heard a clear audible voice in my head that was loud enough to hear over my sobbing. He said " Do you not believe God creator of heaven & earth is more powerful then your husband? I replied through my tears "Yes, Yes I do!" I then cried out to God to help me and protect me and I would live for Him. At that moment a peace that cant be described came over me and I fell asleep the whole night. The next morning I woke up with peace and knew everything would be ok. I know it was the Holy Spirit because at that moment it never occurred to me to cry out to God. After that encounter I have a strong desire to live for Jesus, read bible, pray and live a holy life. My love for Jesus has grown, my faith and a intimate relationship with my Savior is growing deeper by the day❤️🔥 Hallelujah. Praise God.❤❤
John 6:44 and that is what happened that night to me.
Since that night everything between my husband is peaceful, still separated but peaceful. My husband never returned to my house nor has laid hands on me. If you knew my husband you wouldnt recognize him now!! It was all God. Hallelujah to the highest
Theres no better love then Jesus! Nobody, $$, career or material possessions can fill the holes and heal the heart❤ Jesus is my friend, Savior, my rock, my treasure..my EVERYTHING!
When you were talking about the body responses and explaining how you tensed up when he came 🏡 - definitely relatable. It's a sickening feeling, 😷. This is amazing content, thank you.
Thank you! I wish you all the best 💛
I started getting anxiety attacks around 3pm everyday because I knew he got home from work at 430pm. I flinched and jumped everytime he walked into a room
Oh my god so true! We don’t even sleep in the same bed. But when he does come in to try to have sex, oh God, I just want to say get away. There’s times he’s been on top of me and I cried, and he always says oh you don’t want to have fun you don’t want to have sex. I said why the fuck would I wanna have sex with somebody that treats me like shit?? I just got to get a hold of my self because I don’t wanna be crying in front of my kids anymore. I’m supposed to go see a psychotherapist.
I believe some people dont even know what emotional abuse is ....... Sad
Jennifer p That’s so true! They have never been taught about it.
Yes you are right. I only discovered what emotional abuse was a few years ago thanks to a woman I met. I didn't know that I was in an abusive relationship until she said that she was worried about me after witnessing my partner. I had no idea what she was worried about because to me it was normal. I went on to discover that both my parents were abusive and so because I grew up like this I saw nothing wrong. I am so grateful to her but now I am trying to discover who I am because I was always who other people wanted me to be.
@@nicolaa9672 I’m so happy that you took that step. It’s a process to figure out who you are and it takes time so be patient with yourself. This is why I specifically work with people’s core belief system because so much of it is subconscious. I wish you all the best of you discover who you want to be 💗.
I you would like to be in my closed Facebook group for additional support I would love to have you.
facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Very true statement. Individuals generally learn these unhealthy behaviors through life's experiences. But its a fine line... I spent 20 years in a toxic/abusive marriage. I too was abused as a child as was my ex. I stayed without realizing it, because I felt sorry about his own predicament, but never thinking twice about my own childhood or the treatment from him. I blamed myself for all of it. It's been a couple years now, im finally starting to see parts of me and my worth in this world. Have hope, keep trying never give up. Network, watch videos such as these, keep friends and family in the forefront. I didn't have a family at age 15, you make your own family. May peace and love be your guiding light.
Telling me it doesn't matter if I die or my adult child. Calling dinner pig slop. Stop your f'ing crying.. too many and now I'm exactly where he wants me in a wheelchair, stuck and no place to go!! I am so ashamed to say I married him 3 times and the fist to my face was the final bullet he used. Evil but more importantly I worry for our grown children... Damages we both may have caused...
After 12years of confusion I finally get it !it is crazy to think that he blaming me for something he does
I’m glad you are getting some clarity about it.
You describe the abusive pattern pretty darn aptly. It's actually really crazy how similar narcissts can be, particularly the rageful authoritarian ones who can also seem comforting, reassuring and protective. Before you realize that this is the pattern of narcissistic abuse, it's easy to fool yourself bc the love bombing and trauma bonding is strong.
Exactly! It confuses so many for so long because of the back and forth in their behavior. In the end it’s just so toxic and figuring out that it will not change can save people years of their life.
If you find it hard to extricate yourself from such a relationship, it’s quite possible to find you’re a co-dependent. Especially if you entered into the relationship at a really young age.
Such a great video. I will never forget the day I realized my ex was abusive- I work for a charity and he said “me and my hens clucking on our meetings thinking we are going to change the world”. I was never so hurt - I’ve always felt so good about what I do and it crushed me. It was that day that opened my eyes and I saw all the other things in this list, of which he did 10 of them...I can’t believe I missed it for so long (11 years). So grateful for videos like this that helped me unpack all that was going on. I had trauma bond and still am working on it but these videos are essential to help people see when they are in an abusive situation. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.
Coral Uru Thank you so much for sharing. It’s common for us to be blind to these behaviors. We have been conditioned that way and we also desperately want to give the benefit of the doubt. Stay strong and keep doing the things that you love and believe it 💕
Coach Ketra thank you so much 😊
I worked for 15 years especially with special needs kids. There’s days I would come home. So exhausted. And he says, you’re just babysitting kids you don’t know what stress is
And when my partner told me I was "verbally abusive," I definitely got defensive and felt attacked. Holy cow this is reading my mail and it suuucks to realize I'm this way
Ya know what though?? I applied your ability to be open and honest about it at least, that's the only way real change is going to happen and at least you give a shit about changing and being better to her so you're not as bad off as you think you are
Ya know what though?? I applied your ability to be open and honest about it at least, that's the only way real change is going to happen and at least you give a shit about changing and being better to her so you're not as bad off as you think you are
This epiphany is a gift from God!
Wow this is probably the most thorough and spot on video I've ever seen on this subject. It describes my ex's behaviour exactly. Anyone reading this who is still in this kind of relationship please find the strength to leave. It doesn't get better, it only escalates to worse and worse abuse. I think the author of the book is obviously very intelligent and has a deep understanding of this issue, however, I disagree that these kinds of people can "change". Most of them cannot even acknowledge that THEY have a problem even if multiple ex partners tell them they same thing or friends or family members agree with you. In all honesty it is NOT worth trying to change them or help them. You're just pouring all your love, kindness, patience and empathy into a deep, dark abyss. They will destroy you for sticking around and trying to save them.
Thank you! Very insightful comment. It’s a heartbreaking situation and I’m so glad you got out! 💗
Thanks, I needed that. 💚
Spot on.
Every single category hits the nail in the head for my situation..my husband says it’s my fault for the way he reacts and I find myself every single day all day apologizing to him for things I didn’t do or for trying to telling him my feeling I have to apologize because he says my feelings don’t matter. Always. I’m not reactive I can’t speak and I shake and I get smaller and he always gets louder and meaner and he starts breaking things and it makes me hurt so much especially when he does this in front of our newborn son everyday…I needed this. I’m not crazy like he says I am..thank you thank you.
My husband is the same way.
This is my life. Every day. I want to get out but I can’t and he knows he can take advantage of that. I hate it I just want it to end
I know how you feel chloe I’m going through the same thing everything will be ok and you are going to get through it ❤️
Get out babe. You can. It will be hard but you can do it. Peace is more important than staying in a nightmare
U CAN GET OUT, you just think you cant because he's broken u down to where he wants you. I've said this for yearsssss I cant do anything cause of the kids etc, easier to stay then energy to leave. I get it, trust me but when you realize more and more you will start to move away, trust yourself and lean on others for validation. Start by self love and learn how to love yourself again, your worth it, you are...
Me too!
I’m planning my exit strategy right now.
I really needed to hear the words about 'creating craziness' in your video. It is exactly what I went through in my marriage. I had been repeating these words to my husband for years and he just never accepted what he was doing. Thank you for taking the time to do this video.
cynthia queen thank you for expressing your appreciation! It can be so confusing at times and I’m so glad you are seeing it for the crazy making that it is. It often times requires a strategic intervention to wake these men up. Blessings to you as you walk this journey! 💗
This is painful to accept in myself. I relate to the forgetting/denial. But I don't consciously forget or deny. I genuinely don't remember large portions of full-fledged conversations I have had with my ex. I also don't consciously create chaos but I still do it. I need healing from these behaviors. I never realized I was this bad
Accepting is the first phase of change :)
Wow! It is so nice to see a man on here that is obviously searching for answers and willing to take some accountability. Not saying that it is all men that are verbal abusers but sadly it seems like it is the predominant case. Keep up the good work Eric and believe in your ability to heal and change! God bless!
Props to you dude! So many partners & it's not limited to just men, women do it as well but it's always key to recognize the issue then you can tackle it.
Would you like some advice? Start your sentences with HER name sometimes. Not I,Me, or My. Refer to Her by name not as your ex. This will help you to see HER as a person. It's good that you admitted you have a problem. Good luck in life and love. Peace out.
Oh my goodness, I didn't realise I did this too, thank you for pointing these out.
I am literally sick to my stomach and have tears running down my face, I feel as if you have just described my entire marriage 😢
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Please know that you are not alone. This is more common than most people realize. I hope you have all the support that you need to do all the emotional healing necessary. 💛
Dad still treats me like my time/life/needs/wants don't matter. I am 60. He ruined the last two birthdays. I deserve better!
When you started listing examples, I started to count just to see how many of those examples I could relate to... sadly I can relate to all 13 of them! 💔
I’m sorry this is a reality for you. For some reason men with these issues have very similar predictable patterns. Please know that it is not your fault.
If you would like a bit more support please fee
Free To join my closed Facebook group.
facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Same.
Same.
Dad blames me for abusing me and punishes me for standing up to him, calling him out. He claims "You misinterpreted what I said". He wants to control me. I am beyond fed up with him. His girlfriend excuses his abuse by saying "That's the way he has always been and won't change." I won't put up and shut the hell up.
I’m incredibly sorry that you’re dealing with that. His pain and wounds are so intolerable to him that he is spewing them out on everyone around himself to avoid looking at himself. You definitely don’t deserve that. Remove yourself from the situation every chance you get. It’s not your job to fix him.
This whole video is my 17 year marriage to a "T". I was planning on getting out when my youngest turns 18 and is out of high school, well that's 7 years away. I'm planning on getting out sooner. I feel so much more powerful now than I did the other two times I left. I am older, wiser, but more exhausted. The exhaustion is ok though, I won't have the energy to care about his begging, pleading, and crying to come back. I'm getting the heck out really soon. Thank you for making these videos to help us victims of psychos realize that we aren't crazy.
You are NOT crazy! You are much stronger than you know. The thing about fear is that the fear itself is worse than taking action on that thing you are afraid of. Once you do it can become incredibly empowering! Your body and mind can finally heal when it’s not steeped in constant toxicity 💗
I stayed too long, leaving sooner WILL be GOOD for the mental health of your child!! Sooner is better. 🙏🏽
This song is played every day.
Out of anger, sadness and hope. Makes me cry from time to time
I can’t believe how many of us are going through the same things. I knew every marriage has troubles. But hearing all of this, I can’t believe it it’s exactly me my life. I never would’ve imagined.
It’s more common than most realize.
The reactive part instantly made me cry. I have been beating myself up and blaming myself for reacting to his verbal abuse and therfore telling myself I deserved the abuse and that I'm a horrible person. I've been telling myself that I deserve it because I react and if I didn't react then I wouldn't have deserved it. I've felt very confused and self blaming and self hating and after watching this video I finally realize that it's not my fault and me reacting is normal and it doesn't make me a bad person or that I deserved this abuse. You don't know how bad I needed this video. I truly don't know how to thank you.
I’m so glad you’re gaining some clarity. I hope you have all the support you need to heal and reconnect to your authentic self 💛
Boy, you are right about the body reacting before the mind can catch up.
Andrea Waibel,You look stunning 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
This goes both ways , I'm a man watching this looking for answers to what my partner does to me
It absolutely goes both ways. This is an older video when my audience is primarily women. But it applies to either. I hope you have all the support you need. 💛
so sad😢
I had one of these. He would name call and counter a lot. It hurt me deeply. I had to gradually pull away. I also believe we attract these type of people to us. It gave me a deeper understanding of myself.
There are always lessons to be gained from each experience. I’m glad you got away from the toxic relationship. It’s not worth it to stay in most situations.
Dad would blame me for his mistreating me. Especially when I complained. He said I had "no right' to fight against the abuse (his). Mostly verbal abuse. He is insecure/immature, and demands me to be submissive. It doesn't work with me. I don't have to put up with his garbage.
I definitely tense up when he’s around. I’ve been called every name you can think of. If I want to go out with my friends, he loses his mind. I’ve found it easier to just not saying anything at all. I’m planning to leave but I’m terrified of what he’ll do to me. I’ve been physically abused in another relationship but verbal abuse is awful as well.
Listen to you intuition and get a good support network. I wish you the best! That’s not easy.
I always tell my spouse that I am just starting to spread my wings yet again and thrive in life, and every time I get torn down, so I am afraid something bad will happen. He wonders what I am worried about and days later another round of tearing me apart followed. But this time, I am so much stronger! I did all my routine and to do list, even crying, tired, and with my heart aching deeply I did it. I feel like a winner! No matter what he says I believe in me. No one can take that away.
That’s amazing! I’m so glad you’re getting stronger. I do hope you have all the support you need to truly thrive. It’s nearly impossible to do when a spouse is verbally abusive. You deserve to be loved well. 💛
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 Oh, thank you🌞
OMG! The description of feeling icky when he comes home. The need to give him 100% of my attention when he comes home. It doesn’t matter if I’m on the phone with my mom/dad/friend/boss, he barrels in asks me when dinner is and even admits that he’s listening in on my conversation and stands there until I hang up.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. It’s incredibly painful and I hope you have all the support you need to fully heal. 💛
According to him I’m never happy. He tells me how I feel, he doesn’t want to listen to my feelings.
he sounds like he doesn’t care about you😢
I called my marriage a roller coaster ride. 50 years together. 😞You explained my life to a tee.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that 💛
Omg I can understand everything she’s saying! I love my man but every time he drinks he’s very emotionally abusive and I feel crazy cause he some how turns it around on me like it’s my fault and everything I say/do is wrong. I feel helpless, like I’m never good enough. He’s just good at making people feel bad
Cayla Bellard I’m sorry you are dealing with this. It’s not because of alcohol, it’s likely because of his fear of intimacy or closeness and his belief that you are an extension of him and not entitled to see anything differently than he does . I have a closed group on Facebook if you are interested in joining. Hang in there!
facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/?ref=share
Drinking just removes the filter and he’ll say the things he’s been thinking and feeling all along. Don’t fall for the drinking excuse
Me too
I am same situation
Hope you left cause “drunk mean” people don’t usually stop drinking and the personality switch is too much to have to live with.
Omg just like me he drinks every single day and his mood changes like bad and he starts fights with me and blames me for everything, and the name calling in Spanish is bad, and he looks at me with big eyes 👀 it’s scary, just waiting for him to hit me one day, but he has pushed me hard, 🤔 of leaving him just have to plan it, I got tired of him and his bad mood, he is just not a happy person, we don’t even have childern or even married.
The short, concise format is awesome and much needed on youtube. The problem with so many of the videos on this topic as they are so long, wordy, drawn out, and we have to wait for all of the important points. This is what people who are suffering through these things need to hear, quick concise to the point it helps deliver a message to a scrambled brain. Nice job.
Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback.
Dad is controlling, verbally abusive, covertly, so others won't tell him to back off and shut up and leave me alone.I am 60. He treats me as if he is entitled to waste my time. He didn't give a reason or apology for being late. His flying monkey/enabling girlfriend made a comment/excuse "That's the way he has always been, he won't change." I refuse to give in to his abuse.
right on, lady! i finaly left an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship with a man who at first was really nice to. he aused me verbally and i was taking everything he dished out for almost 20 years. after he made me feel that i was human waste and no one loved me! it sank in to the core of my soul. i eas so afraid that he would find me! it was so scary. i’m still damaged. i don’t ever want a relationship with a man again! i can’t bring myself to trust in anyone! i hurt all the time, i’m very lonely. i am 66 and i feel that i will never have a true friend. the few friends i’ve had didn’t last long because they would hurt me. i too think what ever did i do to deserve the way people treat me. i’m a good person, i listen to people, i care, i do everything i can to make others feel warm and loved. i have good qualities. i just can’t handle this regection from people who say that they care about me and tell me that they love me. i feel like crying right now just talking about it. i even cut off anything from my daughter because she gets pretty evil sometimes ! i just keep going on, there is nothing more i can do…
Love how my narcissistic spouse who's currently bullying me calling me white trash while shouting to our neighbors about how I'm white trash would only see me in this video. He's very spiritual and thinks of himself as the chosen one yes, like Jesus. No narcissism at all.
I’m so sorry! Relationships are simply not meant to be like that.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thank you for taking the time to respond. That's very much appreciated.
I hope you get away from that :(
Oh my gosh. My husband does this very thing. His voice gets louder and louder so he can make a scene. I'm called white trash, a loud mouth, a crazy bitch. And so many more.
Unfortunately, I've found myself withholding due to several years of criticism, countering, undermining, trivializing,and ordering . Followed by times of love and fun. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
@@jennyprong2853 that’s not uncommon. When our bids for connection are not reciprocated, it shuts a person down and withholding is a natural byproduct. It’s definitely not a healthy way to have a relationship.
Hearing this I felt my body tightening up and sick. Almost from the beginning of our marriage he would say "for such an intelligent woman you're so stupid" which made me feel that I can't do anything or calling me "Puchi" cuz I gained weight. I was diagnosed with RA three years ago and he said it's in your head.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. If you are interested in having a complimentary consultation please visit my website or schedule a call at this link. You can heal from this. You don’t have to do it alone.
calendly.com/ketrathompson/call-availability
I get this too, only it's phrased as "for someone so smart, your can't do anything"
I’m sick to my stomach. I’ve ignored these behaviors from my husband, but since I gave birth 1.5 years ago, he’s gotten worse towards me. He tells me he hates me, calls me names, and I had actually just told him I’m extremely confused where the truth lies in how he feels about me. I often describe our relationship like a ping pong match. I have no idea which side of the net he’ll be on at any moment, or what question will set him off. He is constantly the polar opposite of anything I say and will often rewrite conversations we had to the point where I’ve started taking notes after an argument. He’s threatened to take my kid away from me if we got divorced which would end me. I have no idea how to continue forward, I feel the need to protect my son, but I’m a teacher… with a teacher’s income. I feel trapped.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You always have more options than you see in the moment. It’s wise to use cash to pay for an attorney consultation with a good divorce attorney so that you can understand your rights. His threats do not equal what would actually happen in a divorce. But you need to be cautious and careful and get as much help for yourself and your own healing as possible. 💛
My ex used to say to me ‘I love you even though your a pain in the arse (PITA)’ and then call me PITA and say he was being endearing....got that daily 😢. He also used to call me mentally ill and constantly asked me how my head was....BTW he is in no way qualified to diagnose me or anyone else and I have never been diagnosed with any disorder...except being his verbal punching bag
I’m glad you see it for what it was... verbal abuse. It’s manipulative and his behavior is pretty typical of a destructive spouse.
"Verbal punching bag." Damn. I thought I had been the only one to use that to describe the bastard I USED to be involved with/engaged to!
Wow, Ketra, you are one BRILLIANT Lady. Talk about hitting the nail RIGHT on the head. I cannot tell you how many videos I've watched (during the course of time) in effort to "confirm" all you've laid out here...all previous having failed miserably and or "bait/switch". I knew it wasn't "me"... Thank you VERY much, WELL done.
@@Beulah24-r3d Thank you! I’m sorry that you’ve lived through this but I’m glad that you feel validated and this was helpful for you. I hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
I have been living this married life for 32 years and I am ready to bring free NOW …. You hit so many things on the head ….
Unbelievable 😔
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. You can get free! If you would like more information please visit my website at KetraThompson.com
Same here married 36 years. As the years have gone by it has gotten increasingly worse. I now have an autoimmune disease. I feel like the constant stress triggered my RA. He drinks daily so never know if he is jeckel or Hyde. It is mentally draining.
I actually started thinking I was the problem. My husband does all these things and more. When I bring up how he hurts me, he says I’m too sensitive. What’s worse is my daughter does the same thing. She grew up with her dad disrespecting me so she thinks it’s ok. I’ve suffered through this for thirty years and I’m losing my mind. I’ve been seeing a therapist and taking medication for the last 15 yrs. This has totally destroyed my self esteem and I feel stuck.
I will definitely order The verbally abusive man. Thank you for the helpful insight.
@@lachandathomas I’m truly sorry that you’ve been dealing with this. It is toxic on so many levels, both mentally and physically.
I help my clients regain their self confidence through Custom Hypnotherapy programs all the time. If you’re interested in more support, check out the link in the description to this video to set up a free consultation call. 💛
My ex...when I was married to him used to tell me about all his sex activity before he was with me...it hurt and it was almost he was comparing me with something he wanted in me...NOT. Telling me he was going to go to Canada and find a prostitute.....if I didn’t want to have sex at the time. Tell me what friends I could hang with...and so much more....woke up after 29 years. I always thought and prayed he would change...nope.
I’m glad you were able to get out of that. When they do that it’s intentional manipulation.
My husband said the same thing and talked about his past sexual relationships then said I was a cheater
@@user-hl2rm5db8h it’s a common tactic. It’s him deflecting his issues into you.
Same.
We just had our FIRST wedding anniversary in October.
I’m outy.
My husband gaslights me all the time. So tired of him. And he doesn't communicate. He also ignores me, ignores a question, acts like he didn't hear me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that! I hope you’re surrounded by a lot of encouraging and supportive people that can help you heal
Watching this with tears in my eyes
I get that response a lot. People who have never experienced this have no idea how deep it cuts. I wish you all the best. Healing is possible!
My husband and I met and married after our spouses died. We are both old and have been married several years. For at least a year he has done every single thing on this list to me (maybe longer than a year).I am seeing my whole life as a constant relationship with someone who doesn't really love or respect me. It is starting to effect my health and I want to stop being a slave to how I feel but also feel obligated to not leave him because of his age.Your video showed me that it's not my fault and I am the only one sustaining this marriage. Now I must gain the strenght to make the change to put happiness back into my life......Thank you so much
I’m so glad that this helped you feel validated. It’s my opinion that the best place to start is pouring into yourself and your life by building up friendships and activities that you love so you can feel strong and happy before making a decision about what is the right move for you at this time.
I'm at the point where I'm non responsive. He talks and I stare off and say nothing because what difference does it make? I'm so done.
That’s really common. People learn there is no point to speaking if you are going to be turned against or treated with criticism. It’s a coping mechanism but if you keep betraying your own self expression it will eat you up and can eventually cause illness. I hope you are able to get free. If you visit my website you can sign up for my email list and be notified when I have coaching openings. I wish you all the best.
Funny, I’m a guy and you described my anger all in one. I yell at my girlfriend and I am not a needy person.
I came to this video to figure out why I get so angry at my love.
Now, just to clarify, I don’t cheat, I’m loyal, I work everyday and I am the only provider, I come home to no meal, but I cook and I clean, I try to be calm before I address her feelings, but doesn’t want to open up, we argued and we fought.
This is the first relationship where I’ve acted this way and I’m trying to find out ways to become a better partner.
Then again, I fully agree that i verbally abuse my relationship. At the same time, I want equality for respect for what I do.
Thanks for the video and I hope that God guides me to a better path than what im doing.
I’m so glad you have some insight into what you are doing. The reality is it is that there are deeper beliefs that are driving your behavior. You probably need to be able to self regulate your emotions and then clearly express your wants and needs calmly without blame. Then you need to be able to accept that you both are allowed to have needs and express them in a safe way.
The anger underneath is often about other things. I help clients get tot
The root of those things and reframe them on a subconscious level with custom hypnotherapy
Omg you just described word for word what I have experienced in over 16 years. That constant pulling in and out and you think that you are the most ungrateful person that ever existed. Thank you for this video. My body tenses up every time he gets close. I just start to figuring things out….
I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. I hope you keep doing the healing work so you can get enough clarity to prioritize yourself 💛
Why do we fall for these kinds of partners? Unfortunately I realized he is this way far too late. I’ve been very sick for several years with no diagnosis until about 5 years ago. It’s been over twenty years of being tested for everything under the sun? Finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia after all these years of being abused. Don’t wait thirty years to get out, just do it before it’s too late for you. Please! 😢
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It’s never too late to get away and create a life that heals. I truly believe these kinds of people are deceptive and sell us on a fantasy. I also believe that many times we are conditioned to always be the nice one or to blame ourselves and because we don’t grow up learning boundaries we don’t recognize when someone has crossed the line. Or we think this is love because of how a parent treated us. But regardless of why we get into them, we can get out and heal. 💗
So true, I think its what we grew up with to some extent & feeling like we can "fix" them! After 30+ years I know I should have been stronger.... need to get out 😔
@@susanaustin_filmproducer yes soo true! I keep thinking what a waste to just throw all that time away but then I immediately realize that the time I have left needs to be happy loving & mostly safe for me. It’s sad to know that I can leave so easily now? I do hope you have a safe & loving life from here on out as well?
@@melolore1280 Thnxyou and yes so true, we are getting too old for drama's and walking on egg shells .... so sad! I don't know it will be so easy as he controls everything (including $) but my health and well being is suffering I just feel it :-( Much Love to you also and I wish the same for you Xo
I've been doing number 1 lately because hes doing everything else in the list . I know not speaking to him isnt helping but I'm in year 25 and idk what else to do. I've tried talking to him he says I'm tired of everytime I get home from work you bombard me with stuff , so I stopped talking to him when he walks in except for hellos after he relaxes I try again he tells why cant you let me relax then it became let me know when you want to talk and when I'm ready I'll come find you so I wait when he comes the whole time I'm speaking hes sighing ,rolling his eyes and trying to walk away so now I've just stopped speaking
It’s very common to go quiet when you have been ignored or criticized so much. It’s a natural defense mechanism. My new 8 week program walks women through all the steps to rediscovering themselves and empowers them to request real change. I also have a closed face support group where I share additional information. If you are interested in joining. This is the link.
facebook.com/groups/844194536058659/
Yes, once you stop talking, interacting and basically act like their invisible they get rather comfortable with that as thank God, she got the point. Remember WE are the problem in their eyes, the 1 that causes the misery and that ruins everything. Happy we shut up and some can live like this for an infinity, I know mine can if I allow led him too. I cant coexist, feel ignored, unloved, non intimate and not alive. Took me 12 mts to get to this mental state amd finally got an attorney.
That’s very tough
This video is so helpful. He has done a pattern of these things and I feel guilty for feeling hardly any love left. I’m exhausted and I definitely get sick a lot. He has hurt my dogs. he has improved but like 95% wants to leave. I just get scared to leave and feel frozen and sad over the good parts of him. I just don’t know what to do when he is kind and loving. I hate that he changes to be this mean and kinda scary guy. 😢
@@autumn6353 i’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this. It’s incredibly painful. I do hope you get all the help you need so that you can heal and live a fulfilling life regardless of whether or not you stay or go.
If you’d like to set up a complementary consultation, call, the link to do that is in the description of this video. I’d be happy to chat with you and give you my best recommendations.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thanks so much! I think I’ll do that. It’s so hard. He goes from being an absolute jerk to being so kind and apologetic. I’m so confused and tired.
Thank you so much for everybody’s comments! I wish you all the best because we all deserve happiness. 💕
You found your calling. Youve been pressed and crushed and became a diamond for good. Thankyou for understanding and helping women realize whats really going on before they do become crazy. Lets dont let them make us crazy.
Best review ever on abusive husbands!
I'm going through a horrible ordeal right now.
Thanks so much for watching. I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. You are welcome to join my closed Facebook group. Where I share other resources
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Same.
thraciangrapes, you deserve better my dear
This is happening everywhere. A lot of unhappy men who can't fix the problems except themselves. They are bringing down women with them. So wrong and sick
@@clairebearie87 ya bet there addicted to Asian porn too
My husband is always accusing me of looking at other men.. just this weekend I was so happy to get out the house with our friends and it turned into nonsense. He start accusing me of looking at some guy while I waited for food on the bbq and when I told him he was crazy he called me a slut! I shut down and haven't talked to him so he's mad at me for being mad at him and is packing to leave me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s impossible to reason with someone who is committed to twisting reality. I truly hope you have all the support you need to heal 💛
Thank You so much! I’m currently working through a divorce. Nightmare. Wish every lawyer, judge and parties involved had to watch.
I’m so sorry! It’s so hard to get others to understand what you are going through. I hope you have all the support you need 💛
It should be a mandatory part of their curriculum
This was really helpful even though there’s a lot that my husband doesn’t do. Thank you for the warning of not telling my husband that he’s verbally abusive because that was going to be my next step, lol!
I’m glad it was helpful. I hope you have all the support you need to deal with this 💛
OMG.. I can't stop crying. I need help.
I’m glad you are finding some validation for what you have been going through. You are certainly not alone. My coaching is currently sold out but I will be opening up a few more slots. If you would like to get on the email list to be notified for those opening please sign up at the bottom of the page on this link.
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So sorry, how are you doing now?
I listen to my husband when he talks for a lengthy time, 30 mins, and when I start talking, he says.. “wow you talk a lot!!” And I’ve only been talking 5 mins!
@@dalenemarie that’s a very entitled behavior. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
This is exactly what I go through!😞
I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s so coming though. You are welcome to join my closed Facebook group for additional support.
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Pray: repent (say sorry), be thankful, say your request to God, finish by saying "in Jesus' name, amen."
This was an answer to my prayers. I have been separated from my ex husband for 1 1/2 years, slowly going through a divorce that just got finalized. I spent almost a decade being quietly verbally abused and didn't see it until a year before I left. This is the best explanation I have ever come across for the way that he treated me. Thank you so very much for sharing this with us. It feels like I finally have some answers and it makes me feel like leaving that marriage was the best and only answer.
@@danielleclark5924 I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have all the support you need to heal. 💛
Thank you for sharing this, I unfortunately relate to way to many of these scenarios in my current relationship. This is helping me to put things in perspective and I realize things are worse than what I was originally thinking/feeling. I'm so happy to hear it in perspective that I'm not losing my mind and I am a lovable and loving individual. Thank you kindly 🌿💫🌻💜
I’m so glad you found this helpful. I hope you continue to see things clearer and clearer as you realize you don’t deserve to be treated this way. The bare minimum in a relationship is respect, mutuality and kindness.
Thanks coach i really needed to hear that. 10.53
Its hard to get out when u r so deep in. Im battling cancer at the same time dealing with overt & covert abuse.
I do NOT want to label this situation as being verbally abusive. That's why I watched this video. I have been researching for hours every day for hours about verbal abuse. I think I'm being verbally abused by my mom. Why I found out when I'm working on moving out? I have no idea. But looking back my mom is a good mom until she's discouraged. And in the past she's been discouraged about different things in different times. She's healed from the problem, but everything that has been said or done in these steps, this is what she's said or done over the years. And now I'm starting to believe it was and is verbal abuse.
It’s hard to accept this reality about a parent. Try to remember that our parents grew up internalizing messages that they then pass on to you. The best thing you can do is to create respectful boundaries with her and learn to protect your own emotional well being. Boundaries are hard at first but worth it.
When I was growing up I was taught that sticks and stones can break my bones but words can’t hurt me. I guarantee that everyone does the things on this list in relationships. That does not make them abusive.
Doing them, sometimes does not make anyone abusive. Doing them continually on a daily basis in an excessive manner does make them abusive. When someone won’t hear how they’re hurting their partner and adjust their behavior that’s a problem.
OMG my husband would make me explain and justify every single opinion. And you are right, couples counseling was pointless, he would spend the entire sessions complaining about me. Finally I understand that I want to start a new life!!!!🙂🌞🌞
Good for you! You can’t force someone else to have a heart change.
Thats very sad😭for me just married few months ago,and coming from another country,and experiencing,i dnt even knw where to go
#12 it's gaslight
#7, is destroying me and I get so defensive I hate how much he constantly criticizes everything I do with our kids and judging me. I feel so turned off and I closed off sexually from him.
And constantly telling me I should clean, cook, do laundry all alone mop and vacuum just because I'm stay at home wife mother I think he needs a maid !!
@@mahaalotaibi8352 this sounds like pretty normal behavior from a person like this. It’s absolutely exhausting. If you become a doormat you lose all of the respect. If you stand up to them in anyway, they want you to shrink down and do what you’re told. You can’t win.
If you’d like to discuss how to regain your confidence and get some clarity, feel free to set up a consultation call. It’s completely free in the link in the description of the video. I wish you all the best. 💛
My man just hurt my feelings so badly because I was gone for an hour extra and I didn’t answer his calls. He called me a liar and a cheater over and over again and says things like, “half fun f*cking other guys,” then when I started sobbing in the bathroom he goes “why are you crying? Stop crying it’s so annoying.” I’m so hurt and can’t stop crying. I wish I had someone to talk to but I feel so ashamed to go to my friends and family. I know I deserve better. I wish I never met him. This is after almost 7 years...
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please know it’s not a problem with you. It’s a problem with his own entitlement and control issues. If you would like a bit more support fee free to join my closed Facebook group.
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Story of my life I related
Judie get out that's very nasty. He's insecure and doesn't deserve you
My husband told me I was cheating while pregnant with HIS child. He was also my first partner in bed. I never slept with anyone but him. I’m not vid first and he’s been with multiple women before. He still thinks I’m a cheater when he’s mad
@@user-hl2rm5db8h I got accused of the same thing and group texts were sent to my family. It was mortifying
I’m a SAHM & I am home with my children all day. It is a blessing, but it can be difficult. I have an energetic 2 year old as well as a 7 year old special needs daughter. I also homeschool. My husband has called me lazy & unproductive because at the end of the day I am wiped & I’ll take time to sit or even nap when I can. He has guilt-tripped me over taking naps many times.
He also has said that if he doesn’t get sex from me he’ll find it somewhere else.
Recently he has made rude comments about how I read my Bible & pray everyday. He said “this is a reflection of someone who does her devotions every day”.
He makes me feel like crap.
I’m so terribly sorry that you’re going through this. I truly believe that anyone in a situation like yours needs lots of support and help to regain their mental emotional and physical strength.
This kind of relationship long-term can cause a lot of damage. I truly hope you have the support you need. 💛
I would recommend the book controlling people by Patricia Evans. If you’d like more support, feel free to set up a complementary consultation call. The link to do that is in the description of the video.
#10 for me…. And i got teary and couldn’t hold back at that part. Wow and the demeaning way he talks to me these days is hurtful. I feel stupid all the time afraid of what I may say wrong to trigger his choice of words.
You’re not alone. Unfortunately so many are going through similar things. I hope you have all the support you need to recover from the damage done 💛
Patricia Evans' book came into my e-book collection 5 years ago. Reading page for page, I was nodding my head to each word, affirming that I've been dealing with most of these behaviours. That was an absolute eye-opener to the ultimate confusion I had been living for decades. Thank you for bringing this topic up with the examples you give and sharing your own experience
I’m glad it was helpful to you. I hope you have all the support you need to heal. 💛
I am going through this right now. I have a 3 yr old and a baby on the way with him. I’m so confused and have no idea what to do right now. Every single one of these is 1000% on point!!! Literally, every single one
Edit: I’m always called a liar for repeating what he says later on. He will swear he didn’t say it. And the sex thing is said to me everyday. I don’t know…. This video really touched home for me!!
I’m really sorry you are going through this. It’s traumatic. You are NOT crazy! Visit my website to sign up for my email list to be informed of new coaching openings and exclusive content. You don’t have to stay small just to survive and you don’t have to walk in egg shells forever. Even if you are doing it to survive right now. Visit CoachKetra.com
I wish you all the best! 💗
I am going through this too and it is so hard . I'm calling disgusting and hurtful names most days and its emotionally draining me. He even says that I am putting sleeping pills in his food/drink and going out when he's asleep to be with other men. Its crazy and I cry nearly every day
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thanks for the video it really hit home for me
I'm called disrespectful names every day I'm worn out
@@TB-wt6et I hope you have a safe way out of this.
It’s not a relationship, it’s abusive. You are not crazy. You have been manipulated. I truly hope the best for you!
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thank you ketra hopefully I have the strength to leave but not right now
The whole household dynamic changes when he walks through the door. Eggshells.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I truly hope you have the support you need to heal 💛
My husband is very unstable with his mood. Some small things makes him angry. And it's always hot and cold. His behaviour. After shouting at me he doesn't speak to me anymore. He tells me I am stupid, I don't have anything in my had, although it might be true, I was always insecure about myself. I accepted him as he was. He has some issues with his anger. And his masculinity too. I accepted that. Partnership in marriage is more important. But, my health issues are declining, especially tachycardia and anxiety. But, I have no choice. When I go somewhere, I feel full of energy, but when I back home, my physical and mental energy is completely drained. It's exhausting.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s extremely common to have major health issues if you are married to an emotional abuser. It’s hard to fully realize the depth of the damage but once you are free from it, your whole world may open up. It more damaging than most of us realize. I wish you the very best and I hope you are able to find emotional freedom.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 Thank you. You are so sincere. I will find my emotional freedom.
50 years together now
I’m sure you’ve discovered some ways to deal with it. But it’s undoubtedly taken a toll.
I won't lie, the most infuriating thing is when they pretend that what they are doing to you is actually what you are doing to them. I remember waking up with my left eye socket completely swollen shut and swollen from where he had grabbed me by the hair and slammed my face into the kitchen island counter the night before, and asking him what happened because I was completely discombobulated, and he responded with, "You just got what you deserved for ripping out my beard" when in actuality, I blindly grabbed at anything to get him to let go of my newly smashed skull and unfortunately it was his beard. Several hours later, my face was black and blue on top of even more dramatic swelling and he started tearing up staring at me because he said he felt really guilty for what he had done, so I ended up comforting him. I bring up his physical abuse because honestly I've never been in a relationship that wasn't verbal and emotional abuse and frankly, I'm used to it, but I did not expect things to get as bad as they have. While not all verbal abusers will end up becoming physically abusive as well, I think the risk is too high and we should all assume the verbal abuser will become violent as well and that it is only a matter of time before he does. Stay safe. We can protect each other. Don't wait for it to get worse before you decide to make it better (by leaving). Much love and hope to anyone out there reading this.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re right, not all are physically abusive but it is a very real danger. Abuse in any form crushes the spirit. I hope you are receiving all the help and support you need to heal. You have shared so much brave insight here.
The main reason I love hypnotherapy is that it helps us get to the root cause of why we keep ending up in the same kind of relationships. Although much of it is because of their deception in the beginning their are things our subconscious mind feels are normal and overlooks. 💛
What about when the very act of expressing something turns into, "You're just starting an argument!", which implies that the only way to get along is to silence your own voice.
Or if instead of hearing what you are saying, he says, "You're right. I'm just an asshole. I'm a piece of shit."
Or if you don't drop a point because he won't acknowledge it, so instead he gets angry and loud and in your face and starts slamming things and blames it on you, saying, "I warned you to stop or I would get like this."
What are these patterns called?
That’s deflection, projection and manipulation. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic and if you keep Shri king down and not communicating you’ll lose your sense of self.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thank you for naming those tactics.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 thank you 🙏
My husband is verbally abuse me. I always think this is normal part of relationship but is not. Been dealing with this for 10 year and I lose hope in man and my marriage.
Ignoring you completely and walking off when you speak. Using you to absorb and agree with all their observations when watching a programme, but ignoring yours. Standing in front of the TV. When you try again to speak to them after being ignored they say stop going on about it and then add your name at the end just to make you feel that extra bit worse
My husband had lots of emotional, verbal and beatings from his mother and an apathetic father. So I can see why he falls into this. However he also doesn’t want to get help for this. It’s sad. I regret that I didn’t heed all the red flags
If he won’t get help then he is choosing to stay that way. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have all the support you need to heal. 💛
Dad expects me to put up with abuse, not complain and when I have complained, said "Tough shit". He's a horrible father!
I am crying while watching your video 😭😢😭😢😢😢😢
I’m sorry that you have had to live through this reality. You are not alone dear one.
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 I really didn't realize that there's verbal abuse. I really thought that I am the problem to our relationship. I wish I could go back time so that I don't experience this 😞😢
joanamariel basa most people don’t realize it because they spend so much time trying to over explain their points and truly believing that if they can just explain it the right way their spouse will finally understand. It’s an exhausting cycle. I highly recommend the book The Verbally Abusive man, can he change by Patricia Evans. It’s available in audio too.
Oh my goodness. This is my soon to be ex husband to a tee. Your description here is exactly what I have experienced for 13 years. I always felt like a battered wife without physical abuse. The mind games,pouting, name calling and constant reminders of things he could remember from Years ago that I didn’t do!! After disagreements later on he would call me saying “are you okay” ? At times I was tensing up as you mentioned, and just finally got sick & tired of being stressed out . You can never win with this person no matter how hard you tried. I could write a book. I’m tired now & finally decided to get away from this man. I can be happy alone . I sure hope others can be strong and just move past all of this behavior. Thanks for your content here. 💕
I’m soooooo glad you are getting out! Good job! That can be the hardest part for so many because of the confusion that goes along with this type od behavior.
Your nervous system is going to feel so much better. Stay on the journey of healing from all the damage that’s been done ❤️🩹
Hi very nice to meet you here my friend do you really need help??
I know a powerful man who can help you out with your wishes, he helps people all over the world any kind of wish you desire...because when I tried this several times but no result some one recommended him to me he helped me out with my wishes and i'm so happy now why not give him a trial
Wtsp Dr kenzo for help now
Im so angry at myself I let it get this far in my relationship
Don’t beat yourself up about this. People who are emotionally destructive are also manipulative and confuse the brain with trauma bonding (intermittent love and rejection). Nobody can predict these things but we can heal and we can learn what the red flags are so we don’t get into the same situation again. I wish you all the best!
I feel like I’m going crazy. 😢 I just needed this video to maybe know that I’m not crazy -
I’m so glad that it gave you some validation. I certainly hope you have a support system around you so you can do whatever you need to do to heal. 💛
What kind of therapist would you recommend? I've been trying to get my husband to go to marriage counseling thinking that would help. But he completely fits this description. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m crying 😭 some of this is my husband attitude towards me. I’ve been thinking I’m crazy and often he said it’s my hormones. Ilove him so much but he hurts me sooo very much that I don’t think he cares.
"Betrayal Trauma Recovery" has a good counselling program. Check them out
I NEVER would have pinpointed my husband as verbally abusive without this video. He doesn’t explicitly name call or say mean things, but he does almost all of the other stuff. I always thought I had a problem because I would lash out from the hurt that he caused me, but after watching this, the lightbulb has come on.
I’m so glad this gave you some clarity. It’s a difficult kit situation to be in 💛
I hope you look inward as well bc a lot of you are very abusive yourselves and can’t take accountability for your own behavior.
@@ColdIce99 I would hope all people do that. The fact that abusers don’t do it is a problem. All people need to be introspective and growth minded.
Once again, an abusive woman justifies her abuse while demanding to be treated like a queen. Sounds like you are the only abuser in the family, and this video has just given you a way to justify your crappy behavior.
When you mentioned about church ⛪️ and acting a certain way to make it look to everyone else like things are a certain way I wanted to cry 😭 I just can’t do that anymore. I’ve hit the wall. And it especially feels like a slap in the face that it’s reinforced by that person’s friends there and you know that no one would even believe you…plus you don’t want to do or say anything to make them look bad to their friends…so it’s like a double whammy.
Exactly! So you end up protecting them and their behavior and shrinking yourself down to do it. As if you don’t deserve to be able to be honest and shine in your own life. You don’t deserve that and God did not intend that. 💛
@@ketrathompsonhypnosis2541 That’s so true! Thank you for your videos and encouragement 💛💛
Hi very nice to meet you here my friend do you really need help??
I know a powerful man who can help you out with your wishes, he helps people all over the world any kind of wish you desire...because when I tried this several times but no result some one recommended him to me he helped me out with my wishes and i'm so happy now why not give him a trial
I can recommend you to a man who would help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days.E.g Money, Love, Lotto Numbers, Soul Mate, promotion of job, etc.
I'm in that situation now...and can't get out
@@jamzee63 I’m so sorry. It’s important to get all the support you can to heal and regain your strength so you can be strategic about leaving. 💛