How to Unlock Your Inner Narcissist | Coping with Criticism
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- This video answers questions: Can I offer tips on how to handle criticism? How can one cope with criticism? I've also seen requests on how to ignore insults and how to separate insults from criticism and a few times even heard questions that ask are there ways to ignore criticism or to ignore negative criticism altogether.
What we see on the Internet in terms of dealing with criticism is some good advice, but also a lot of awful advice. For example, if we look at the area of narcissism, we see this idea that anyone who criticizes anyone else must be a narcissist. Under this faulty logic, if somebody's a narcissist, we should learn to ignore them, which of course is not good advice, because that's actually narcissistic in itself.
The construct of “unlocking your inner narcissist” (we see this advice offered by the life coaches and other people on the Internet) is not always useful. I think there is a better way (more logical) to handle criticism.
Handling criticisms - BASIC
Consider these things when handling criticisms.
Bias : What is that they want to believe?
Affect: Yelling, screaming, or emotionally charged criticism?
Source: Are they experts? Any credibility? Do they criticise everybody?
Intent: The intent of the person criticising you. Are they sadistic? Are they trying to help?
Concurrence: Are they independent sources? Or are they connected?
Thanks for your explanations doctor!
This is a really good system.
@@lilymcallister9751 You are nothing but a flower. And you are water-dependent. Go on, use the system now.
Excellent advice
Ameer Fazal great points. Why would you take negative words to heart from someone who just puts everyone down.
To me it seems that there's quite some overlap between bias and intent.
A narcissist tries to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.
Keep them coming these videos of you Dr. Grande 😃
I will - thank you for the encouragement!
Amazing methaphore!👌Is it your own description?
@@DrGrande Helpful and well informing videos!
Mega Trivial quote by Paramahansa Yogananda
Tamashii ii thanks!
I think life coaches use expressions like "unlock your inner narcissist" just to sound edgy and grab attention. Good video
Thank you!
Unlock your inner psychopath 😜
@@DrGrande @Matteo T
I think this is a valuable observation. Personally, I find the idea that anyone with the gift of the gab and an absent ethical compass can become a successful "Life Coach" & take people in with a handful of catchphrases and pseudoscientific ideas intensely irritating - I dread to think how much time & money is wasted on people who are frequently grifters emboldened by the "brave new world" of being able to utilize the internet to find susceptible marks. I really dread to discover how they make Mental Health Professionals feel. Although having said that, I do plan to watch your recent video regarding them as soon as is practical!
I do have a question regarding certain Internet platforms and the role they play in giving narcissists a wider "hunting ground". Perhaps the video I just mentioned may prove a better place to ask the question?
Narcissistic people are so evil. I’ve experienced it, left them, stay away, don’t even be your neighbor. They are so nasty n disgusting in personality.
Matteo T - Maybe they learned from advertisers that branding works. BUT therapy should not be considered a product like Phil sees it. Being a good therapist takes years and years of work. Some therapists never reach self insight. IMO really good doctors like Grande are rare.
Sometimes the most vulnerable clients display an uncanny ability to point out our deepest flaws with great accuracy. It is our reaction which matters. The goal is to become aware of one's inner narcissist...our narcissism is not locked away...it is there whether we are aware of it or not. Great topic!
Thank you :)
Your videos are amazing Dr Grande, this channel is one of the best on UA-cam!
You are too kind - thank you so much!
@@DrGrande It's true.
I agree
Agreed
Fx G Most definitely!
These days constructive criticism is layered with unwanted insults & unnecessary humiliation.
Your content
A fluent thought process, well researched. Thanks again
Or has the human ego become so fragile it cannot accept even the kindest of constructive criticism?
During my work with psychologist I was surprised to learn that we all have narcissistic traits which is different from narcissistic personality disorder.
It’s a coping mechanism which we all have at certain degree. I must say I experience mine when I am deeply hurt. It prevails my other traits in this moment and I could become hurtful. After that everything comes at it’s old way and I even feel guilt about that. Nevertheless true narcissist will never feel empathy nor remorse and that’s what makes it disorder. Total disbalance of these traits in the personality which is constant. I sometimes even think that due the early trauma and the weak personality they live in a endless war zone in their heads.
I am glad you said this. I would assume most people have a little narcissism. I do. I am an artist so I like attention, and also need feedback on my work. Discovering I am a vulnerable narcissist thru these videos is troubling. But I would never hurt anyone, I do need attention, I am very empathetic and worry about other peoples feelings all the time.
I love the practical advice you've been providing lately! Psychology applied!
I'm so glad - thank you for commenting!
It's important to check the intentions of your critics. A good critic wants your good, and gives criticism that will benefit you. The mark of a bad critic is that if you took his criticism you'd end up amusing/entertaining him instead of becoming better. Most critics are bad critics.
That B.A.S.I.C model is so helpful, in weighing criticism as valuable or not. It takes in all the grey areas of criticism, and brings the choices back to me, as to whether to take it seriously or not.
As far as insults woven into criticism, for me, it's helpful to run any potential positive information by a trusted friend. Insults are too emotionally charged for me to not completely discard everything said. But if something rings a little true, I'd rather discuss it with someone who can be honest and kind at the same time.
I had never considered that if you just added kindness and empathy to some of the characteristics of a narcissist, you end up with a pretty cool person, someone I'd want to be around. That was really helpful. 😊
an eyepoke is a great way to handle critisism
Your comparison to judo is like something I've tried for dealing with insults and destructive criticism that may be effective for others on occasion as a supplement to BASIC - double-down on the vulnerability and empathy. Pull when they push and they'll be thrown off balance:
Recognize the vulnerability of your's it is they're attacking, recall that characteristic in someone you admire or a person you feel great compassion for, allow yourself to feel admiration, compassion, and forgiveness for this person for their hypothetical flaw or mistake, then recognize the ways that perceived vulnerability can be a source of strength. Now realize the ways you're the one who possesses those strengths because of those vulnerabilities and can use compassion to neutralize and shame cruelty.
Hey Doc!
I'm not a narc but needed to hear this today, with my sensitive ass. 😂 Criticism makes me feel...stupid. 😔
Great video as usual.
Thank you!
Dr Grande offers the most scientifically grounded information in the area of psychology! I believe your videos benefit both experts and non-experts. The practical application of your videos is evident. I tried. It worked. Thank you, Dr Grande! You are a Saviour! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with people around the world! I appreciate it.
Look into Jordan Peterson. The man is a living legend, a genius.
I have always had issues with criticism. I work in a field where most people are extroverted and have really tough exteriors. I am an INFP and I have struggled to say the least. I will say this as a positive: I can do things my coworkers can't, and that makes me super valuable as I have what we call "emotional intelligence" and a lot of them admit to struggling with team work and communication. However the downside is criticism, either meant to help or hurt. Someone told me once that I can get 100 positive things said to me and 1 negative, and I will chew on that 1 negative comment until it gives me major anxiety. It is a battle I still fight everyday to keep things in perspective and it drives my family and friends batty at times. It is a difficult balance to not internalize EVERYTHING.
I kind of wish there was a cheat sheet for the acronym with a reminder on how to utilize it responsibly.
Hmm... might have to make one, I guess. As someone who is sensitive to criticism, I found this really helpful in identifying some of the differences between the insulting vs constructive criticism.
This helped identify and silence some of the abusive/insulting ones that have followed me from childhood to adulthood. Thank you.
Very well said! I loved that anecdote, good comparison. I think considering the other person’s intent is important when taking in criticism. I like when people provide criticism because it helps me improve. If I see that the person giving criticism isn’t very knowledgeable, I don’t mind it as long as it’s gone with a good intent. Negative criticism is indeed very different from an insult. Negative criticism can be useful while an insult is just a useless personal attack.
Thank you!
I differ between constructive and not constructive advice critisism.
10:25 :Bias
11:52 Affect
12:44 Source
13:42 Intent
16:06 Concurrence
👍🏻
Dr. Grande your work is helpful, thank you. NPD is so sad, when and if there becomes physical abuse its the worst- subhuman experience. Love your reference to your grade-school years, how significant to the topic of arrested developments NPDs suffer with.
THIS video is amazingly valuable. You should post similarly again but next time, just make it about how to deal with criticism. This would be for those not interested in this topic in relation to narcissism. This is not a criticism but a strong endorsement of your advice. I wish I'd known this advice 20 years ago. Many people I think let criticism get to them and even destroy relationships. It did for me. Had I know this information I would have approached things differently and more prudently and circumspectly.
Man oh man, I loved this topic and the way you handled it! 👍🏼
Thank you!
I think the way we react to criticism is tied to what we base our self-confidence on. If the weight of your self-confidence is distributed across a wide range of things, you can take criticism of one of those things better than when a lot of your self-confidence is based on that thing. An example: When I was 14 or 15, I used to base most of my self-confidence on my drawing skills, because after becoming a victim of bullying I legit thought that was the only thing I was good at. That caused drawing to be something I needed to think I was good at, or else I would completely hate myself. You can probably imagine that I disregarded every bit of criticism about my drawings, which is definitely no good thing if you want to get better at art. Now that I’m older and there are other things that have taken over parts of the weight of my (still pretty low) self-esteem, when I look back at my drawings from that time I see barely any progress, one uninspired scribble after the other.
It is important to have a healthy self-esteem to be able to take criticism well. Disregarding criticism is a defense mechanism that comes into play when something is very off about your self-esteem.
I love all Dr. Grande's videos, and this one is really an important one. It seems to me that in order to have a happy, productive life, we need to be able to (1) manage our emotions appropriately, (2) appreciate the input of others for what it is, and (3) show empathy for others and be encouraging, "doing to others as we'd want them to behave toward us." These videos help us in all these areas.
Very timely. I need some work in this area. Thanks.
You are quite welcome :)
It’s important to weigh the criticism dispassionately and not get defensive. Easier said than done!
Been listening on a loop and want to let you know how very helpful the topics on NPD are for me! Explaining emotions vs feelings, how to possibly approach change in the Narc… all so helpful!! Thank you so much!
When someone insults or criticizes you it's more about them than you. B.A.S.I.C. is a great way of analyzing the critic, the one who usually needs the assessment.
Thanks to you, it is getting more useful to me. Always had trouble with criticism! Now I’m able to sort through it better, assign usefulness to it. Also helps me check my own self criticism and outward criticism of things around me. Thanks, doc!
This is a powerful video, Dr. Grande.
You reinforce that reflecting and analyzing who is the critic, where they're coming from (as in their life and experiences or situation) most criticism, although, uncomfortable and at times, disheartening, can contain certain components that may prove to be helpful when reflected upon in an objective manner.
A wealth of information, Dr. Grande, Thank you ☺️👍
I too love your videos. I loved your comment that deflection helps someone other than the narcissist to grow as a person, so true.
I noticed that some people, when critical, sometimes say, “I’m not the only one who’s noticed this about you.”
I was going to say something similar, as in whom tends to use the “Simon Says” ... (SAiD!) ... thing with their criticism even when it's very little truth to if, AT ALL
Thank you Dr. Grande, this is a much-needed public service!
Your videos are as always of such a high quality of knowledge and information. Thank you for this valuable method of observing criticism. I am very sensitive to criticism but this tool will make me come out of my defenciveness and make things objective as much as possible. Again thank you Dr. Grande.
Your story of what happened to your friend in 5th grade was super helpful. It makes total sense.
To unlock your inner narcissist there is usually one thing that works for many people. That is, get behind the wheel of a car. You may find it gives you a sense of entitlement, makes you very angry about criticism, makes you feel grandiose and turns you into a bully. Luckily, many people are immune, but it surprises me, just how many people's personalities seem to change when they get in a car and drive.
I enjoy your videos so much. I get a kick out of your humour, you make me laugh! It's always nice to hear you assess a childhood incident too, thank you for sharing!
You are quite welcome :)
I just came across this video that you posted over a year ago. Thank you very much; I enjoy all your videos but this one was one of your best. How I wish I had seen this and adopted the lessons into my management career. It is however useful now in my life and in evaluating past experiences that I struggled with. Thanks again.
Narcissism is a healthy coping mechanism when coping with childhood abuse and shame. Meditation is even healthier.
Thank you. I have never hear of a model for not taking people personally. Sometimes you just have to suffer through it because that's the best way you know at that time.
you are the best Dr. Grande!
All of your videos are extremely insightful. Thanks for the info, keep up the good work.
You are quite welcome :)
Yes, we all know what narcissism is like... it’s what can the rest of us do to protect ourselves from them....that’s the question we need answered.
Wonderful video Dr Grande, thank you!!
Practical advice...& useful tools to stretch beyond ourselves. 🙂
Thank you - You are quite welcome :)
I don’t know if you have already posted a video regarding the different roles or types of people that enable narcissists, but if you haven’t, I would love to know your thoughts on how they are affected and how their reactions to the narcissist enable their behaviors. 🙂 loving your channel, and am learning so much! Thank you Dr. Grande! 🙏🏻😀💕
I really like this BASIC, thank you very much!
Criticism can tell so much about that person.
Usually they are just talking about themselves, because so many people are so self centered.
Dr. Grande I encourage you to tell more personal stories of your life to illustrate the points you are making. The story of your friend on the playground brought back memories of similar experiences I had when I was kid. I wish I had a friend like you on the playground. You have a gift not only for teaching but for storytelling as well.
Could you make a video on James Charles? Tati Westbrook recently made a video on him, and talked about him trying to manipulate straight men. It would be interesting to learn more about the psychology behind it.
11:16 You are describing my brother. Substance abuse denial is difficult to deal with. It's very difficult to reach their inner child and actual person because of that iron wall of denial and self defense. They put all of their life's comfort needs into the drugs and they can't see the extreme danger that is rolling at them because of it. They don't see the inevitable dead end street that they are in and the suffering that is involved with that downward spiral. For family members this is hard to handle and I already had several nervous breakdowns because of it. But it is better for the family members to tell the drug users straight out what the facts are about the addiction and then we need to let go of the struggle with the person. Each person has his own life to live and his own body and receptive/cooperative family members to take care of. Jiddu Krishnamurti has saved my life and helped me organize my mind.
Thank you for your lectures, you are an excellent psychologist.
I love the ending Dr. Grande I guess is always good to become critical when is broad from an interesting dialogue.
I wish my haters would bring themselves up to my level instead of dragging me down to theirs. 😁
If you've legitimately got haters, you might actually want to blow them off completely.
Some haters hate you coz they are jealous of u
When I was younger someone told me that to continue in my chosen industry I would have to get a thicker skin. I did, and it was good advice. Some criticism is not worth considering, some is very worth while, caring. It is easy to tell someone only positive-and there is a "purely positive" abuse.
This was a very interesting approach Dr Grande, could you please do a video describing how an individual can possess both grandiose and vulnerable narcissistic traits; and how these can interact with each other within that individual?
Interesting ideas here. On how to handle criticisim towards yourself and on how to give criticisim that is helpful and not harmful emotionally . Good ideas for those who work in teaching others. Thanks!
Could you do a segment on children abandoning thier parents. It's at a point that it's about to receive a medical diagnosis in mental health. There are many facets of this problem. Dissecting it would be helpful.
If your old and disrespectful your child who works 40 hours + a week for crumbs dont have time to "forgive"
That’s is becoming more common for sure.
Often this can be related to attachment disorders...look into family systems theories.
What has happened is a multitude of factors. For one, we have the outing of abuse and neglect. In the past, people respected family bonds even though they were unhealthy.
This generation does view,” toxicity “ as a right to walk away” from any relationship, including family.
Another factor is the last two decades of broken families via easier divorce, as well as Grandparents not being interested in investing in the next generation they way they might have done, weakening the family structure as well as not being the safety net for struggling families that they once were.
These are generalizations, but much more common now.
I don’t think we need a new diagnosis, just to look at old models and see how views have changed towards how people view family and its value.
Great comment - something that has affected my life - both my parents and my children- as I am in the sandwich generation.
I think this topic is very important.
Fantastic critical thought here. Having experienced a NPD/BPD individual ( by standards set by common traits ) one of the things i asked her never having seen this behavior , is am i a narcissist,?Are you a narcissist ? Never knew you don't need to do that, just exit. But i am also aware of traits i could posses that could be construed as ego boosting. But when does self care that comes after a disordered experience become narcissistic. The want to look clean personally, a clean well maintained apparatus of life, an intolerance for arrogance, rudeness & deception. Your self awareness is elevated. What is the difference. Plenty. If i"m a one she was a ten, not in a good way. Plus the intent. My one sentence explanation is a simple plagiarized quote. " A narcissist is a person who relieves themselves by projecting negative emotions". Normal empaths are aware of others feelings. A trait that is used to the max by opportunist of exploitation.
I really enjoy and appreciate your videos
Your wisom is amazing and very helpful! Thank you!
"you don't know how to read the DSM" hahahahaha sick burn definitely going to use that one
OMGosh, Doc, I was taken aback when you described recess. Then I wondered if it’s still used today.
Criticism is either accurate or it isn't. If it's accurate, use that information to improve yourself. If it isn't accurate, then consider why someone might make an inaccurate criticism of you. In either case, don't let it bother you, because nobody's perfect.
Dr. Grande, Would you consider doing a video on the difference between empathy, sympathy, and kindness?
I need to learn to shut down my inner critic a bit. Sometimes before I go to bed, I remember rude or careless things I said when I was younger and I think, 'Oh, my grief! Why did I do that?' It's happening more lately and I'm having chronic 'If I had it to do over again' thoughts. Maybe this is just normal midlife crisis adjustment though. LOL
¡¡congrats on almost one million subs!! ;3
I feel the moral obligation to spread your great knowledge Dr Grande. Even if English is my second language, I'll do my best. 👍
If I had an inner Narcissist, my inclination would be to sentence it to two consecutive life terms! 😇🐯
This was excellent, very helpful!❤️
I started a comment then got bumped before posting, so hopefully, this wont be redundant. First, I wanted to say thank you for the wonderful videos! I just discovered them today, and I'll be watching many more. I would love to see something on schizoaffective disorder.
I do like your basic model, but if I'm understanding you correctly, this model is to determine whether criticism is of the constructive type. What's the person's motive? Is it true? Would other people agree? Are they the right person to be criticizing you? Maybe an equally important question to ask, is whether a psychological attack on someone can ever be constructive.
I found out the other day, that my niece hit her boyfriend. We had a long, and really intense conversation on why that wasn't okay. Did I criticize her behavior? Yep, you bet I did! Did I criticize her? ...Tell her that she was bad, and abusive, and immature? No. I would have been the right person, it would have been true to a point, other people would have agreed with me... But would it have been constructive? I don't think so. I guess the point that I'm making, is that after applying the basic model, a further distinction should be made between criticizing a behavior, or opinion, or idea, and making a personal attack on someone. There's a difference between your best friend saying that you're drinking too much, or your best friend saying that you're a drunken lush.
I really needed this
Dr Grande, thank you for great content. I think I take to critisism very well since I’m grown up, maybe I even seem a bit narcissistic, couple of people even told me that but is it just a confidence thing? Maybe, would need a session with you to figure that one out😄thank you have a very nice day, greetings from Germany!
I'm fine with criticism where two or more people are having a nice dialogue, or even a debate with me so long as ad hominem attacks are not used. Sadly, if they are utilized, I will throw out the entire diatribe as bullshit. 🙄 Thank you, Dr.Grande. Your wise advice has been noted. 😊👍🌹
Ya personal attacks were bad
Brilliant video, I had be thinking about positive elements of narcissism and maybe trying to cultivate some of them as it would hugely benefit me. But it would also affect me ethically and my self image /self-perception. As some people have been manipulating my dad to get money from him. I was thinking of pressing him to give me money as it would benefit both of us(I'm a bit better with money management). Your videos help me stay on the straight and narrow thanks.
Question I made on another video answered here 😅 Love your videos. Thank you for sharing your expertise 🙏🥰
Very thought provoking & informative. I often really enjoy your examples. The BASIC anachronism could be very helpful! ♥️✌🏽
Thank you!
It's an acronym, an anachronism is a completely different thing.
When you’re cornered by a narcissist, you have to think and fight a narcissist like a narcissist.
Yes and also scheming
For any narcissist that is cornering someone less special, don’t even waste your time. Remember, bub, they aren’t really special and you’re wasting your breath. Duh.
Again, Dr. Grande pulls through with VERY insightful help. Maybe, for those who are overly sensitive to appearing critical; they can hang up their overly sensitive dancing shoes. I’m not sure about the percentages of adults vs. immature personalities in the world. (How could the whole structure hold up if everyone were immature critics?)
Excellent and very helpful!👍🏼💗👍🏼
I have worked on this recently really good to do.
Instead of i cant stand this.
This is though and makes me feel sad but i can handle it.
Please could you do a talk on Theory of Mind and also how to trust and strengthen your own intuition. Sometimes my intuition is at a level where I can practically read minds (not often though) and then other times I completely miss something that is glaringly obvious.
My inner narcissist doesn't need any encouragement. I tried to keep him under control :-)
I grew up with a narc mother, who in turn made her children develop into narcissists. So yes I have it in me too, but I reinvented myself and now it’s one of my strengths. I can spot a narcissist, and know exactly how to interact with them so that they can’t damage those around them. So yea I agree with you!
Gosh how helpful. Looking back on my professional life I see how I was criticized so I would do the work of my boss (etc.) and they could deflect their earned criticism from administrators within my work system. They were also trying to develop a green monkey (in me) who would victimize those who worked under my skill level. Unfortunately the complex followed me when I left, and other types of professionals believe I’m an okay person to criticize. But knowing (other people’s) usages of an insult vs. good criticism is very self productive. I’ll keep sorting that. Thanks very much.
Very informative!
I keep having thoughts of maybe i was the narc in our relationship. I am confuse whether I was the victim or the abuser. Some symptoms of narcissism related to my actions and behavior and my sense of entitlement. And I remember that whenever my ex would do something I think wasn't right I would get mad at him and break up with him like if my needs werent met I would treat him unfairly. I also feel threatened and insecure around his friends seeing myself as lesser than them and maybe they would push my ex to break up with me and he'd find someone new. I also couldn't accept him because of his substance use in which I always tell him to quit but he would lie and once he gets caught, he would blame me, chase me or beg so I wouldn't break up with him. I always come back out of pity because he always looked at me with pitiful eyes whenever we fight and when I lash out, he'd just stay silent and sometimes walk away. Whenever I ask him to talk about our problems he would just regret but I've always felt that we havent resolved anything instead, we used sex to forget everything. I felt empty when he came back after our breakup and that's when I noticed that he is addicted to substance til now. He blamed me for that even if he had told me couple of times that he had forgiven me for everything I've done including the cheating and making him chase me when I get mad and I reflected on myself but I crossed upon the words trauma bonding, narc abuse and reactive abuse. Idk which is whom now. I cant really draw the line as I aso felt gaslighted and manipulated by him but I also did these things to him. One thing is certain, we are toxic but can't really identify wherr the lines starts. I just feel guilty that maybe I am the narc and I cant do anything about it. I know for myself that i cant settle with someone like him but I still stayed because I believed I can change him or maybe I was just narcisstic to believe that so I even doubt my intentions during sex and gift giving. His friends pushed me to commit suicide but he didnt defend me and never left those friends. Now these friends influenced him that's why he is addicted to substance but I feel responsible.
"Maybe I made him dependent on me and when I left, he just didn't know how to express pain so he numbed it through substance and I am gaining the consequence. I deserved his treatment now. I deserve the blame"
I have those thoughts because even if I am aware of what I was before, I still regret that I believed he was the one who was at fault. I was so deceived of my narcissistic traits. But then I can't even accept evrything so I blame him for some parts I acted badly and then when this happens, once I blame him, I'd get anxious that it could be narcissism.
Can someone help me clarify this? I'm stuck and I can't afford therapy. I'm living in the Philippines and my parents are not supportive regardng mental health. We have a stigma in the Philippines and I'm scared to be labeled as crazy and be judged by my family. Out of frustration and regrets that I might have wasted a good man, I have thoughts of cutting myself but just cant do it. I dont know how to express my emotions as I mistake love and lust during our intimate time. I have no friends I can trust. I'm surrounded by people but cant really find someone I can open my heart to without judging myself and feeling judged for who I am and what I would share.
Thank youuu
Excellent advice!
Your videos are really good.
What if you see yourself as less important than other people?
Selling cars really allows you to understand narcissism and hype in a whole new perspective. Grifters, trolls, manipulators really play on your weaknesses. I would have to change my accent and my physical looks in order to make sales. Being from another state .
I can't see why either pessimism or optimism is a good personality trait.
To me, it seems that the only good personality trait related to that is realism, which is somewhere between pessimism and optimism.
Thank you dr grande, could you please make a video about motivation for healthy people and for narcissts who tend to be very productive.( The difference between good and bad motives)
That's a good idea. Maybe something about self-worth theory or other alternative explanations of motivation vs. procrastination?
The narcissist is motivated by a powerful addiction to narcissistic supply. A healthy person is not motivated by powerful addiction that consumes and annihilates the self. However, a healthy person is motivated by joy, love, a sense of fulfillment. And for that we really need to get to know ourselves, our purpose in life, our strengths etc. Follow what makes you feel more in alignment with your truth and your own sense of true self.
@@NuitHadit great response. the amount of energy time wasting here reseaching- go figure. Self Love Needs to be taught more in schools, to avoid time wasting with ppl- who are not on the same frequency. Peace.
You may have to revisit this topic because there are some people like me who work on the pandemic units and see people who don't believe in the disease and believe that they're better than them so the people who are working in a high stress situation treat them with a lot of disregard it doesn't make us narcissist it just means that we can spot delusions from a mile away
Could you do a video about developing (healthy) interpersonal boldness or fearlessness?
Hi dr. ,a slightly personal question if I may, have you heard about the philosophical stance anti-natalism (being morally against having kids) and what are your thoughts on it?
People tend to pathologize this stance and attribute it to depression and such (which isn't really an argument, ad hominem) but I wonder how a mental health expert would look at that.
I think this will be very helpful to me.
I am an older cardiologist mentoring a recent graduate of a very toxic training program where the environment is exceedingly hostile. I will forward this extraordinary video to him so he can benefit maximally from any chance that the tormentors are trying to help him
It’s especially useful because it promotes the idea that tough but fair is good whereas gratuitous hostility is not. It’s fascinating to me that I was rejected from a graduate subspecialty training program by a director who trained at the same institution where the new graduate is suffering.
Back when I was about to be dismissed there was a junior professor who offered to work with me but he was over ruled by the abusive director. I later went on to train at a top ten program in the same sub specialty. I graduated board eligible in my subspecialty.
Recently I googled the younger professor who was willing to keep working with me and I found out he had just published in the NEJM as the first author of an article. This was a further validation that there was something malignant about the first program director
I have told the young cardiologist that he is now enduring his baptism by fire. His task now is to try to differentiate the constructive criticism from the toxicity during the most vulnerable year of his career when Imposter Syndrome paranoia is in full bloom
So glad this video floated into my feed. It is extremely thoughtful and useful. I can’t wait to share it with the one I am mentoring. Your encapsulation of this complex topic is superb. Thanks Dr Grande. Please consider reissuing this one. Perhaps running an oldie but goody piece once in a while. This one could be called “What to do when criticism seems unfair”. That might help it reach more people who need to hear it
Great title Dr.G.
Super talk👍
My personal thoughts are that people are capable of adapting traits temporarily under the basis of mimicking. Some traits people can adapt easily are things like speech patterns, physical mannerisms, and allusory references. To adapt personality traits however you're looking largely at meandering and people basing it on their training in the topic. examples would be taking the idea of narcissism being ego fueled many people can adapt that easily but cant retain it. more importantly their patterns of life outside of it dont match the traits.
online its easy to make a new identity and personify it with whatever traits are needed. you dont need to trick people, you trick machines. While in person, the idea is much more personal. leaving it hard to maintain long term, really longer than a few hours
Very useful video! Your accent makes me miss home!
The stable and unassuming tone, neutrality, the qualifiers to claims are tell tale signs of a scientific/ critical analysis
Great channel
Only drawback is, all of those make it sound boring to general public
That’s why
“ Ten Sure Shot Signs that Your spouse is cheating on you and making you a fool, according to science “ is a lot more attractive to public than
“ Possible Signs that your spouse might be cheating on you according to current scientific evidence “
People want drama
But, you do attract high quality individuals