It seems like in a lot of my videos I say something is "one of the most common sticking points"... but this one actually really IS the single most common sticking point in game... by far. So let's address it.
1. Change your criteria for an approach and progressively desensitize - lower it to something manageable like smiling or asking for directions and progressively increase to more challenging 2. Be more terrified of the result of you don't take action - focus on not ever getting the girl you want, etc 3. Change your motivation - reframe fear as excitement (it's an opportunity instead of a risk) 4. Competence breeds confidence - have something prepared to take you thru the first few minutes so you aren't worried about not knowing what to say/do. Continue to practice and you'll feel less fear over time. Do all of these and combine to find what works for you!
I had crippling approach anxiety when I started. I decided that I would go out every single day to the local mall until I finally did an approach. Eventually I was like "fuck it, I'm wasting 3 hours every day walking around the mall like an idiot, lets just say hi to some chick...." then I did my first approach. From there I kept going out consistently. Fast forward a few years and I've gotten one night stands from nightgame, gotten laid from daygame, from Tinder etc. etc.
I just wanted to let you know, that I really enjoy how calmly and rationally you sound, when sharing information. You seem more mature than most game channels.
He tells the truth, it's a short term disadvantage, but a long term win. People want to over complicate things in order to sell bullshit. His advice has really got me out of some ruts.
I'm happily married but my hunch paid off: most of Todd's thoughts and methods apply to way more situations than just game, whether a job interview or encouraging change within your organization. I eagerly await his pivot from PUA to highly-sought corporate guru. More power to him.
Nice. Minimum viable approach. Approach desensitization. Escalating standards. Regret denial. Reframing fear towards excitement. Redefining challenge as fun rather than suffering. Escalating competence. Good stuff.
the best re-frame is that it's funny. Literally have a laugh about it - it's impossible to have both frames simultaneously, it can't be terrifying and also hilarious at the same time - the funny will win
This is what works for me. firstly I realize its not just fear, Its uncomfortable, scary and a very high risk of feeling emotional pain. so what I do is .... step 1: go to a target rich environment. step 2: Don't try and act cool just act perfectly normal cause I'm autistic as fuck. step 3: just watch for approach opportunity's but don't actually approach, just think about how you can. step 4: after awhile decide that the next opportunity you just approach. step 5: most important fight with everything you can to not feel fear discomfort or hurt. repress that shit, like kind of just keep your emotional state the way it was all day. at first its hard but this way each time you approach your practicing the right thing not reinforcing the wrong emotions and after a while you will just be hitting on everything that moves, it will be hard to keep yourself away from women. You will find all the mean women funny when they try so hard to hurt you, they have mean lines like you start hearing the same stuff over and over. and they always look in your eyes to see how it got to you only the mean ones most just act superior cause it gives them a dopamine release like- thanx now be gone peasant. step 6: pepper some game into the mix.
If you have eve seen the channel More Plates More Dates he talks about a thing called exposure therapy and this helps with not only anxiety but also as you progress as a person you will develop your social capabilities with certain types of conversation. I used to be a no body, a real life npc. I was 13 when I started to really like girls but I was always so shy and never had the confidence to do anything with girls. 2 years later I was still in the same boat I had just started highschool and was so afraid that I would still be just as awkward as I was in middle school. When school started my fear became true as I made no friends and didn’t talk to anyone for the first 4 months. It was then though in December when I finally found the channel More Plates More Dates and started to watch his videos on dating and social skills. I watched and watched and watched videos all day and felt like I kept hearing the same things in each video but then I found His video on Exposure therapy. In the video he explains how it works and how good it is to get this phase of your life done adding as possible before its too late. After I watched it I felt a rush I had never felt ever in my whole life. I had never had a girlfriend ever in my entire life but from that day I felt more determined than ever to get one. About 2 days later I began my exposure therapy journey by attempting to get a girls number but it failed miserably as I only walked around and didn’t talk to any girls. One of the main reasons why I was so scared to talk to girls was my height. I was 5,6 at the time and I didn’t feel confident at all as I was smaller than most girls in my town. After watching a lot of blackpill videos I realized just how fucked I would be if I kept this mindset so I stopped thinking about it and kept moving forward. About 3 weeks later I finally got the courage to ask a girl in the mall for her number. She was shorter than me by 2 inches (thank god ) and I said something pretty corny and cliche honestly. I don’t remember exactly what I told her but I said to her that I saw her alone and told her that I really wanted to come talk to you. Now that I think about it what I said sounds really creepy but at the time I kinda just yolo’ed it. After a little exchange of info about each other i wrapped it up before it got awkward and said I need to get going and asked if I could get her number. I was a little jittery when I spoke but I mostly maintained my cool and kept eye contact but like comfortable eye contact not like stare into your soul eye contact. After I asked I felt a rush of nervousness I had never felt in my whole life but somehow kept my cool. She said “yeah sure” in a pretty happy sounding voice and told me it and we both said bye to each other. As I was walking away, I couldn’t believe a girl actually gave me number and on the my first ever try too. After that I had my mom pick me up and the rest of the day I felt so accomplished. Hours later though I realized just how insignificant this though as getting a number is pretty much the easiest part and didn’t mean much in terms of whether she would actually date me. Sadly though I never got the courage to text or call her and eventually I just deleted the number as it was too late for that. I realized though that if I keep doing this though I’ll build better social skills and techniques so instead of my goal being to get the numbers(unless they were super hot) I made my goal be to keep asking girls out strictly For better social skills.The next coming months I made sure that I talked to at least one girl a day, whether I was in the mall, at the park, at a party, etc and and had saw that my social skills had sky rocketed from what I had used to be a year ago. Being able to start conversations with people felt great and I had felt more confident than ever. About 4 months later and after tons of cold approaches I finally felt ready to ask out my crush. She was about 2 inches shorter, brown hair, pretty face, slim, the whole package and the best part about I thought about her that is great for my situation is that she is not one of the popular girls but also not irrelevant, Ii don’t know how to explain it. She went to my school which is a good and bad thing . Good thing is, well, she’s in my school, it kinda just speaks for itself cause I can see her at lunch at every day. ( forgot to mention that I have now have friends at my school, I still had other friends from other schools but I just had to add this as now I have people I talk in my school.)The bad thing is exactly that though as none of my friends have girlfriends and will judge me and her now probably if I actually get her. On a Friday in April(can’t remember what day.) I finally asked her out. Note that I have never talked to this girl ever but I have a streak with her on snap for 60 days at the time so at least she knows I exist ( I hope). Lunch time was when I planned to cold approach her so the whole day I was nervous as I couldn’t stop thinking of what was going to happen. When it came to lunch time I got very lucky as I saw that none of her friends were there that day(THANK THE LORD) and went to go order my food. After I did I hesitated for a minutes thinking that this would never work but I finally decided to bite the bullet and began to walk over to her table. When I got a said in a calm manner is anyone sitting here? Luckily she said no and i asked if I could sit here and he said sure. Now that I think about it I was surprised that I was able to keep myself calm the whole time as I remembered being ultra confident for this. As I sat down I asked what her name was and we began to talk with each other. It was pretty awkward at first but as we starting talking about our classes and stuff like this I could see the awkwardness going away and we began to have a great conversation. About 6 minutes later it started to get a bit awkward again but lunch was almost over and I was not going to ruin this chance so I pretty just yolo’ed it and asked for her number as if she wanted to go out sometime. SHE. SAID. YES. I could not have been a happier person. After she said yes I said that sounds great and said bye and went to my next classes. Fast forward about 3 days and shes officially now my girlfriend. We have been together for about a year and a half now as I can gladly say, I have never been more happy in my entire life. And that is my life story of exposure therapy. Things to note that I got out of doing it and things I realized that happens along the way. * got a girlfriend and had a successful relationship * never been more confident * Incredible improvements in texting, calling, and talking skills. * Overall happy person. * More mature * More drive than ever to do new things. Other things in my life that changed that are great that did not happen cause of exposure therapy. * courage to go to the gym and work out * Height went from 5,6 to 5,9 so I think I officially hit what I call the safe zone for height as in the us most adult are around this height or slightly above it. * Now 16 turning 17 very soon. Hope anyone who actually read my story can take this and use this as an example that even some of the most anti social people can still have a chance in the dating world Probably going to get flamed in the comments for this but it is what it is and thank you for reading my journey.
marc fred I fucked that up.. now a girl who I am talking to thinks my name is Todd. Don‘t wanted to explain the name. So I am fine, Todd isn‘t that bad of a name.
I'm fine with opening casual conversations. I can do the indirect part of it. Problem is when it comes to expressing intent. My entitlement is too low so I self sabotage and creep her out. Been going out for weeks and still zero improvement on that aspect. Took many rejections, so now I feel negative before even approaching, then I express without confidence and it only gets worse each day. I wont stop going out. But I'm clearly doing it wrong so far.
Great advice again Todd, thanks! Especially like the one about changing your mindset from seeing it as a scary situation to a potentially exciting and fun one.
I've always said that, for me personally, approaching women and getting "better" is two things: 1) desensitization and 2) momentum. You need the momentum to keep motivating you in different ways, and the you need the desensitization to do it over and over again
That's why there are so many coaches or mentors in this business because it's unfortunate that they don't teach conversation skills or social skills in the education system, they don't make it mainstream for learning it or improving it as part of society
The first one, systematic desensitisation, is more effective for most who is very scard of approaching. Reframing your perception of the approach in a way that you no longer feels scary but excited is not a simple thing. It takes time and repetition.
Wow man you your comparison with the roller coaster is great. I remeber when i was a teenager i got a pass at a park. My frien and i started doing the scariest roller coaster at any seat, than at the front seat, than we raised our arms at some point, than we raised our arms at the scariest part... until we felt nothing, it was boring. Thats how iam going to approach it !
Practicing online helps as well. It gives you a mental barrier, it's with people you'll more than likely never see again because they're out of your area: it gives you a chance to develop your formula. Having a formula you can fall back on is what will give you the competence to approach with no fear, because you've had the safety-net of online interactions to tell you what's bad / good without hurting yourself in the real world.
I know that Todd teaches against the concept of "state" but I must say that gaming in state helps me with my approach anxiety... Yesterday, I cold approached a 22yr old uni girl when I was in state and it was incredible :)
Hey Todd, I noticed you and other game teachers never mention dancing. Why is that? All these clubs and many bars that you game at surely have dance floors. I was wondering if you could provide a video on dance floor game. Not so much how to dance in general, but tips on in what way should one dance when entering the floor, how to approach & dance with a girl on the dance floor, what to do while dancing with a girl in order to escalate, how to know when it's time to get you and her away from the floor (and how to do that) and what to do after.
Ive just starting approaching the last week or so. My anxiety is though the roof. Ive asked one woman out at supermarket, she was very friendly but didn't go out. I've said hi to 5 other women with varying amounts of conversation after saying hi, but I didn't ask them out.
Q: Hey, Todd! I have a big problem with the "Narrative" part. The common thing I have is meeting the girl, getting attraction from her, pulling her out of the venue heading towards her or my place, but losing her on the way or getting huge LMR, that ends in her leaving eventually. So please explain how exactly do you build this "Narrative"? P.S. I am the owner of "The System", I watched all the videos and infields on the topic, so I know the basics, like the "Narrative" being the movie script in her head, but still I don't quite understand how to implement it. What ends up happening is I pull the girl from the venue just as a cool guy she is attracted to, but eventually she understands that sex is really about to happen, freaks out and finds an excuse to go home instead. So maybe couple of specific techniques or few real examples would help me to get it.
I'm trying. I asked a younger mom(that I had no intention of asking out) about avocados on the supermarket checkout belt. There with a toddler I guess? Not sure exactly how to classify but pretty young :lol:. I thought of the least creepy thing I could say. I said "I love avocados, always looking for new recipes." Ended up talking and she asked me if I'm single :lol:. I also told her I'm a great cook :lol:. She said maybe you can come cook for us one day. Lots of smiles, maybe even be IOIs? Turns out she is a divorced mom, but not interested, even though I'm quite lonely. Did get her number though, just practice. Don't want someone elses problems.
what problems? Being divorced? Everyone has problems. If you wanna be in a relationship you're gonna have to deal with "someone else's problems" to an extent. Good job on the approach though :) I'd say call her up, cook some dinner and see what's up!
@@snakedogman Yeah, I was pretty shy and that was out of my comfort zone. She said her husband cheated on her, she said she really did nothing and thought she was reasonable but after she had the kid you could use your imagination what may have happened. I may see her again, a friend can't hurt. Still once that happens people have baggage and you are inheriting problems.
My rule #1 the longer you wait for "the right moment" to come, the higher the chances you won't do anything at all. So just dive into it with fear and see what happens. You shouldn't care about the result
Been doing game for 10 years + and I still get approach anxiety. Some days I have less anxiety but if i dont go out for a while or i allow bad experiences to affect me my anxiety can get bad.
This helps when I'm really done at the gym but know that I stil have to do some reps. I tell myself that at the count of three, I must continue the exercise. Most of the time this works. I am new to game and I look mediocre, still have to work on myself. But this weekend I went to a party did this countdown thingy, approached a girl that I'd rate to be a 9. I am 100% that I could've done her that night, if I knew how to close. We had that sexual talk and hugging and so on. This was my first cold approach and it went really well. I killed the anxiety by just counting down. Hope it helps someone else out there too, good luck mates :)
This approach is great, but don't forget that there is a 3rd option beyond the binary "either I get good with women by learning to approach, or I die alone". You can get comfortable and eventually genuinely excited to approach women, yet still fail at attracting them. That's what happened to me after I got out of a long term relationship in my mid 20's. I had no idea how to approach so I looked at myself and identified my faults: I was afraid to approach, had no idea what to say when I did, wasn't confident, wasn't charismatic, and was built like a toothpick in an era with a severe wood shortage. So over the next 10 years I built my body into a very impressive physique, I slowly pushed myself out of my comfort zone as he described until eventually I could approach with little if any anxiety. Then I learned to how let my inner confidence and charisma flow and effortlessly talk, get girls smiling and laughing etc. But in the end, even though I had successfully developed these skills, I still failed to attract women. I could never get them to leave the bar with me, if I met them in the gym, an improv class, the grocery store etc. I could talk them up and get their number no problem, but when it came time to hit them up, they'd never reply. Hell, I've had friends tell me that so and so was really into me and wanted them to give me her number, but when I texted her, she wasn't interested at all. I guess what I'm saying is, you can identify and fix your faults, build yourself into a jacked, confident, charismatic man, but if the universe hates you you'll still fail miserably. And btw, if you think being out of shape, insecure, nervous and failing with women is depressing, try flipping all of those around and somehow STILL failing. It will introduce you to a level of depression you never knew existed.
Did you trying more kino, to touch them, to escalate with them etc I have heard if you almost in the beginning teasing, escalating with touching then they feel with you more comfortable and are ready for next thing
@@dragisakondic5743 Unfortunately, you have to be VERY careful making physical contact these days. A while back I was in a bar and had chatted with a girl for a while. We went our separate ways and a little while later I was walking and saw her with her back turned. I tapped her on the back, around her upper/middle back, and just said "hey" as I walked by. Less than a minute later one of her friends came over and told me to leave her alone and not talk to her anymore. I didn't linger with the touch or touch her lower back, it was a touch I would do with my friends. Sadly, that kind of hyper sensitive response is all too common these days and has made me very wary of making physical contact anymore.
@@fuzzypanda1684 what I have heard of others guys is that you can only touch you when you have already established comfort with her, when she feels already safe with you, when she laugh on with you. Then you can touch her, especially in the moment when she laugh on your jokes or stories. What is more important is to tell whatever you tell her like with "theatrical acting" brining emotions there, cause women are emotional beings, they feed from emotions. That's why they like bad guys who behave to her like a asshole. They need some emotions either postive from you, or negative (Dark Triads traits, that's why they work on women)
Q:Hi Todd! I'm a musician/music teacher. Last year I started teaching guitar to a fellow singer/music teacher. Four months ago we decided to start a couple of music projects, but I must say my intentions weren't purely musical. At the time we were both separating from our couples, and I started falling for her in kinda platonic way. I'm afraid that after too much small talk the interest she might had once has dissipated. I try engaging in closer conversations but can't find the right energy to focus into, it's like she's throwing off-court any advance I throw at her, but there are no signs of shit-tests either. The age difference makes me feel a bit weird (she's 27, I'm 38). We see each other a couple times weekly, what strategy would you recommend? Thanks a lot for your help.
To put all things together, approaching is the hardest and only problem in my relationship. I feel like it will never be hard again if I approached and get her phone number. So i must focus on that part
for me in general, getting rejected is not of my problems, i've got the attitude, alright your loss, in my head, and great comebacks etc, it's just, i'm kinda an introvert, not so social living, don't have alot going on or have ambition, it's it's just the cold approach to woman i' may like, or just practice on, how to engage an conversation for small talk or really see, if she kinda interested to make further effort to ask her out if the signs are there, if i would get rejected, i'll just say, alright, no problem have a great day, and leave, so far i'm 14 cold approach rejections in.
I missed one today and it sucks I walked up to her after a 30 minutes of eye contact exchange but the moment I got close I froze and felt extreme anxiety and walked back now i hate my self
Playing to do what's deliberately bad also helps you with approach anxiety because knowing what the worst possible outcome is can help you feel more comfortable with approaching more girls in more situations.
The biggest thing that guys fail on is first conquering their own self confidence. If you aren't even confident in your own skin such as appearance, body type, or body language; how do you expect to even approach girls? First things first, work on your self confidence. Hit the gym, upgrade your wardrobe, and work on having open body language. If you struggle with making eye contact with strangers, start focusing on that as s priority. A good way to practice is to wear sunglasses on a sunny day and just look people in the eyes passing by, they can't even tell you're looking at them. Then level up by doing it without the glasses etc. You can't approach a girl with confidence if you aren't confident with yourself, all I can say is focus on that and worry about girls later.
@Fred yeah but there's a lot of guys that have no sex life because they drain their mojo so much that they have little drive to talk to girls. Everybody's different.
Todd - What percentage of your game is predicated around you having good wings that help talk to the friends and really help with group dynamics vs how much of it is just you balling out by yourself and working the group dynamics to a T and isolating with the girl. A lot of your in field seems like it is you solo dolo!
Every infield I saw of him shows him alone. Such an inspiration, cause I have no friends for daygame or night game and gonna develop myself through solo action
@@thisisrandomphrase yeah thats a good plan i need to get off my ass and do more solo day game shit as well. I have a few wings for going out at night but most of them suck except for one who is decent. They rarely help at all.
I asked for an hour 25 girls, and like 5 for direction, when I gave them reason to speak they were talking constantly, i think it depends on topic you're talking about
I feel like I shouldn't have this level of approach anxiety being 6'2", 210 lbs, having a full head of hair, and a six figure income....it's still terrifying 😅
Hey Todd, love your content and appreciate your willingness to help guys improve their game. My question is rather individual specific, however, I doubt i'm alone with this problem. What is the best way for good looking guys to game girls when it appears the guy is more high value? What I mean by this is it seems like girls will initially judge me based off looks and choice of vocabulary and often disqualify themselves. Maybe it's age specific? The age group i'm geared towards are those 18-24 and often in college
Question: Every time I go out on a date, girls put me in the boyfriend category instead of a lover category. I am having difficulty finding the right balance between comfort and high value. Please help me out here.
Best of all is change yourself image and think about it as a horizontal not vertical relationship with people around you, with that you will be fine you can also read the courage to be dislike speaking about Adler's psychology
I have no problem going up to anybody, woman or man. I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone. It's the presenting the question of a date that terrifies me. Im old now, 55, widowed and feel so awkward. I used to meet women at work, I am retired police officer, now im just Joe blow, I have no idea what to say.
Hi Todd, I watch many of your vids and I’m very frustrated because I just can’t bring myself to overcome this anxiety. It’s paralyzing. Since I have the dating apps, I cant use your 2nd advice, since they’re always there as a safety net (and I do get dates in them once in a while) but I feel they only make my social anxiety worst. I’m in my 30s and this frar makes me feel stuck and emasculated. Can you share some advice?
Hi Todd , can you make a List or give a example please for a mindset which social value a human can offer or Show without any outer Material values or social circle? I feel incongruent and arrogant when i try to act like a "high value" guy , because i cannot create a mindset into this direction maybe.
Hey Todd, I have been watching your videos for some time now and I really like your content and methodology, I feel like it has had a positive impact on my personal relationships and I thank you for that. I would like to ask you a super in depth question about a recent relationship. I feel like it maybe beneficial for some of viewers as well, because they may also be experiencing similar situations. What would be the best way to reach out to you? Thanks
As a 35-year-old virgin with crippling social ineptitude, #2 certainly won't work for me. I'm no longer afraid of living and dying alone. I'm more used to that life, so much so that the prospect of having a woman in my life is far, far more frightening. But I'll give the other two a shot.
Mr. E try hypnosis i.e Paul Mckenna confidence and the expectations work todd mentions on lowering the expectation of the exercise I'm the opposite of you it seems but I still have AA
Hi Todd, I very recently started going out and thanks to your content I've already been able to get a few numbers and a few day two's at the bars I've been to. The pickup community seems to like clubs but I'm finding it really difficult to communicate over the volume in those venues. I'm not a particularly soft-spoken person. How can I make myself heard in loud places? Thanks!
Bro forget the clubs, it's the worst place for an approach believe me. Cold approach particularly in the evening time when everyone is relaxed and thinking about going out and getting a drink is your best chance
@@SS-yv9cq Funny enough I’ve never just like “picked up” a girl before who I just met and the other night I went to a club and talked to this girl at the bar then when she went dancing with her friend I deadass just grabbed her and said let’s make out and she was like ok.. idk how it happened but drunk me just didn’t give af
Hey Todd. After all your years of pickup, do you ever still get that sprinkle of anxiety before you approach? Or has it 100% evaporated I think your answer is that you perceive it as excitement not nervousness, so by that token, I would imagine you don’t experience the “fear” anymore... even if it’s only a smidge
Thanks for pitting up all this brilliant content. Here is a comment not related to this video, but not a direct criticism of it specifically. The PUA industry at large fails to acknowledge social norms as a real reason why men have anxiety about approaching and about other necessary actions. Yes, there are ways to soften that break. And yes, you have to break them to some extent in order to meet people and learn how to interact. But there is a real threat of ostracism and even physical violence. Acknowledging that threat would go a long way to make men grasp their own situations and advance. (The industry has argued that those threats existed only in the past.) Better, let's explicitly teach the norms, ways to temper the breaking, and the skills to judge of how much you can break in a given situation. Here is a related video ua-cam.com/video/svWPTUNlPTE/v-deo.html . I'm curious about your thoughts.
Does it get easier to approach forever once you've done say 100 day approaches. Did a couple indirect ones a week ago after years of putting it off. Felt to anxious I started apologizing and practically ran away in the middle of a good set. Both were a 9 & a 10. Think it might have been easier if they didn't go as well as it did
Hey todd Keep up the cool content man! My question is What do you think of asking the girl to take your number and text you later. Would that work?? Or she’ll just delete it later. Even if she’s interested she might not take initiative cuz girls don’t usually do. What’s your take on this
It seems like in a lot of my videos I say something is "one of the most common sticking points"... but this one actually really IS the single most common sticking point in game... by far. So let's address it.
Clever guys love and respect you!
I admire you
good to hear, If I can overcome this, I've already overcombed a huge sticking point then!
yeahyeahblabla someguy that’s truth, but it just gives you a little bigger margin for error, and some more seconds after you open your mouth
AskToddV hey Todd, what do you think of Mark Manson’s book models?
1. Change your criteria for an approach and progressively desensitize - lower it to something manageable like smiling or asking for directions and progressively increase to more challenging
2. Be more terrified of the result of you don't take action - focus on not ever getting the girl you want, etc
3. Change your motivation - reframe fear as excitement (it's an opportunity instead of a risk)
4. Competence breeds confidence - have something prepared to take you thru the first few minutes so you aren't worried about not knowing what to say/do. Continue to practice and you'll feel less fear over time.
Do all of these and combine to find what works for you!
up
Dont forget to not waste ur time approaching girls.
@@CommandoMaster that made me laugh
I really appreciate the fact you actually tell people “what to do”. As opposed to other mainstream channels that just tell you “how to be”.
Hey nice jacket I’m Todd “USE YOUR OWN NAME PLEASE” 😂
i can imagine what kind of guys he met to feel obligated to say that,
I came down here to say that haha. He's so straight faced about to, you can just guess about the stuff he's put up with.
@@yed8 hahaha lol people really use his name too?
Went straight to the comment section after hearing it 😂😂
Loool
I had crippling approach anxiety when I started. I decided that I would go out every single day to the local mall until I finally did an approach. Eventually I was like "fuck it, I'm wasting 3 hours every day walking around the mall like an idiot, lets just say hi to some chick...." then I did my first approach. From there I kept going out consistently. Fast forward a few years and I've gotten one night stands from nightgame, gotten laid from daygame, from Tinder etc. etc.
Well done my friend :)
Motivation
I just wanted to let you know, that I really enjoy how calmly and rationally you sound, when sharing information. You seem more mature than most game channels.
How has Todd not got more subscribers? by far the best channel out there for learning game.
His main channel has >110K subscribers.
Ams is the King
@@salamakissalaman5938 AGREED
He tells the truth, it's a short term disadvantage, but a long term win. People want to over complicate things in order to sell bullshit. His advice has really got me out of some ruts.
I'm happily married but my hunch paid off: most of Todd's thoughts and methods apply to way more situations than just game, whether a job interview or encouraging change within your organization. I eagerly await his pivot from PUA to highly-sought corporate guru. More power to him.
Nice. Minimum viable approach. Approach desensitization. Escalating standards. Regret denial. Reframing fear towards excitement. Redefining challenge as fun rather than suffering. Escalating competence. Good stuff.
Progressive desensitization is probably the best way I've found for reducing the fear response when approaching approaching women.
the best re-frame is that it's funny. Literally have a laugh about it - it's impossible to have both frames simultaneously, it can't be terrifying and also hilarious at the same time - the funny will win
In my early 20s I did door to door sales and that helped a lot with my social anxiety and fears at that time
This is what works for me.
firstly I realize its not just fear, Its uncomfortable, scary and a very high risk of feeling emotional pain.
so what I do is ....
step 1: go to a target rich environment.
step 2: Don't try and act cool just act perfectly normal cause I'm autistic as fuck.
step 3: just watch for approach opportunity's but don't actually approach, just think about how you can.
step 4: after awhile decide that the next opportunity you just approach.
step 5: most important fight with everything you can to not feel fear discomfort or hurt.
repress that shit, like kind of just keep your emotional state the way it was all day.
at first its hard but this way each time you approach your practicing the right thing not reinforcing the wrong emotions and after a while you will just be hitting on everything that moves, it will be hard to keep yourself away from women.
You will find all the mean women funny when they try so hard to hurt you, they have mean lines like you start hearing the same stuff over and over. and they always look in your eyes to see how it got to you only the mean ones most just act superior cause it gives them a dopamine release like- thanx now be gone peasant.
step 6: pepper some game into the mix.
I love the second step
Exactly bro, systematic desensitization is also a great way to ease your anxiety. Great video bro!
If you have eve seen the channel More Plates More Dates he talks about a thing called exposure therapy and this helps with not only anxiety but also as you progress as a person you will develop your social capabilities with certain types of conversation. I used to be a no body, a real life npc. I was 13 when I started to really like girls but I was always so shy and never had the confidence to do anything with girls. 2 years later I was still in the same boat I had just started highschool and was so afraid that I would still be just as awkward as I was in middle school. When school started my fear became true as I made no friends and didn’t talk to anyone for the first 4 months. It was then though in December when I finally found the channel More Plates More Dates and started to watch his videos on dating and social skills. I watched and watched and watched videos all day and felt like I kept hearing the same things in each video but then I found His video on Exposure therapy. In the video he explains how it works and how good it is to get this phase of your life done adding as possible before its too late. After I watched it I felt a rush I had never felt ever in my whole life. I had never had a girlfriend ever in my entire life but from that day I felt more determined than ever to get one. About 2 days later I began my exposure therapy journey by attempting to get a girls number but it failed miserably as I only walked around and didn’t talk to any girls. One of the main reasons why I was so scared to talk to girls was my height. I was 5,6 at the time and I didn’t feel confident at all as I was smaller than most girls in my town. After watching a lot of blackpill videos I realized just how fucked I would be if I kept this mindset so I stopped thinking about it and kept moving forward. About 3 weeks later I finally got the courage to ask a girl in the mall for her number. She was shorter than me by 2 inches (thank god ) and I said something pretty corny and cliche honestly. I don’t remember exactly what I told her but I said to her that I saw her alone and told her that I really wanted to come talk to you. Now that I think about it what I said sounds really creepy but at the time I kinda just yolo’ed it. After a little exchange of info about each other i wrapped it up before it got awkward and said I need to get going and asked if I could get her number. I was a little jittery when I spoke but I mostly maintained my cool and kept eye contact but like comfortable eye contact not like stare into your soul eye contact. After I asked I felt a rush of nervousness I had never felt in my whole life but somehow kept my cool. She said “yeah sure” in a pretty happy sounding voice and told me it and we both said bye to each other. As I was walking away, I couldn’t believe a girl actually gave me number and on the my first ever try too. After that I had my mom pick me up and the rest of the day I felt so accomplished. Hours later though I realized just how insignificant this though as getting a number is pretty much the easiest part and didn’t mean much in terms of whether she would actually date me. Sadly though I never got the courage to text or call her and eventually I just deleted the number as it was too late for that. I realized though that if I keep doing this though I’ll build better social skills and techniques so instead of my goal being to get the numbers(unless they were super hot) I made my goal be to keep asking girls out strictly For better social skills.The next coming months I made sure that I talked to at least one girl a day, whether I was in the mall, at the park, at a party, etc and and had saw that my social skills had sky rocketed from what I had used to be a year ago. Being able to start conversations with people felt great and I had felt more confident than ever. About 4 months later and after tons of cold approaches I finally felt ready to ask out my crush. She was about 2 inches shorter, brown hair, pretty face, slim, the whole package and the best part about I thought about her that is great for my situation is that she is not one of the popular girls but also not irrelevant, Ii don’t know how to explain it. She went to my school which is a good and bad thing . Good thing is, well, she’s in my school, it kinda just speaks for itself cause I can see her at lunch at every day. ( forgot to mention that I have now have friends at my school, I still had other friends from other schools but I just had to add this as now I have people I talk in my school.)The bad thing is exactly that though as none of my friends have girlfriends and will judge me and her now probably if I actually get her. On a Friday in April(can’t remember what day.) I finally asked her out. Note that I have never talked to this girl ever but I have a streak with her on snap for 60 days at the time so at least she knows I exist ( I hope). Lunch time was when I planned to cold approach her so the whole day I was nervous as I couldn’t stop thinking of what was going to happen. When it came to lunch time I got very lucky as I saw that none of her friends were there that day(THANK THE LORD) and went to go order my food. After I did I hesitated for a minutes thinking that this would never work but I finally decided to bite the bullet and began to walk over to her table. When I got a said in a calm manner is anyone sitting here? Luckily she said no and i asked if I could sit here and he said sure. Now that I think about it I was surprised that I was able to keep myself calm the whole time as I remembered being ultra confident for this. As I sat down I asked what her name was and we began to talk with each other. It was pretty awkward at first but as we starting talking about our classes and stuff like this I could see the awkwardness going away and we began to have a great conversation. About 6 minutes later it started to get a bit awkward again but lunch was almost over and I was not going to ruin this chance so I pretty just yolo’ed it and asked for her number as if she wanted to go out sometime. SHE. SAID. YES.
I could not have been a happier person. After she said yes I said that sounds great and said bye and went to my next classes. Fast forward about 3 days and shes officially now my girlfriend. We have been together for about a year and a half now as I can gladly say, I have never been more happy in my entire life.
And that is my life story of exposure therapy.
Things to note that I got out of doing it and things I realized that happens along the way.
* got a girlfriend and had a successful relationship
* never been more confident
* Incredible improvements in texting, calling, and talking skills.
* Overall happy person.
* More mature
* More drive than ever to do new things.
Other things in my life that changed that are great that did not happen cause of exposure therapy.
* courage to go to the gym and work out
* Height went from 5,6 to 5,9 so I think I officially hit what I call the safe zone for height as in the us most adult are around this height or slightly above it.
* Now 16 turning 17 very soon.
Hope anyone who actually read my story can take this and use this as an example that even some of the most anti social people can still have a chance in the dating world
Probably going to get flamed in the comments for this but it is what it is and thank you for reading my journey.
"Use your own name please" 😂😂😂
marc fred I fucked that up.. now a girl who I am talking to thinks my name is Todd. Don‘t wanted to explain the name. So I am fine, Todd isn‘t that bad of a name.
@@Nico-eb1ev for real? 😂😂😂
is it important? id rather say my name if she asks for it..
😂😂
I'm fine with opening casual conversations. I can do the indirect part of it. Problem is when it comes to expressing intent. My entitlement is too low so I self sabotage and creep her out. Been going out for weeks and still zero improvement on that aspect. Took many rejections, so now I feel negative before even approaching, then I express without confidence and it only gets worse each day. I wont stop going out. But I'm clearly doing it wrong so far.
Great advice again Todd, thanks!
Especially like the one about changing your mindset from seeing it as a scary situation to a potentially exciting and fun one.
I believe that approaching girl is healthier than not approaching
A fun one is to go to a mall and say "hey, do you know where the mall is?"
😂
Actually a funny comment right here
I've always said that, for me personally, approaching women and getting "better" is two things: 1) desensitization and 2) momentum. You need the momentum to keep motivating you in different ways, and the you need the desensitization to do it over and over again
I'm 22 and I've struggled with talking to girls but today finally I did an approach and it was not scary at all
Needed this easy to understand and simple makes sense
That's why there are so many coaches or mentors in this business because it's unfortunate that they don't teach conversation skills or social skills in the education system, they don't make it mainstream for learning it or improving it as part of society
The first one, systematic desensitisation, is more effective for most who is very scard of approaching. Reframing your perception of the approach in a way that you no longer feels scary but excited is not a simple thing. It takes time and repetition.
Wow man you your comparison with the roller coaster is great.
I remeber when i was a teenager i got a pass at a park.
My frien and i started doing the scariest roller coaster at any seat, than at the front seat, than we raised our arms at some point, than we raised our arms at the scariest part... until we felt nothing, it was boring.
Thats how iam going to approach it !
Change my criteria for an approach - i walked over and made a sound.
Then build on it.
LOVE THAT! Most important -> change the definition of success!
Practicing online helps as well. It gives you a mental barrier, it's with people you'll more than likely never see again because they're out of your area: it gives you a chance to develop your formula.
Having a formula you can fall back on is what will give you the competence to approach with no fear, because you've had the safety-net of online interactions to tell you what's bad / good without hurting yourself in the real world.
Probably the best dating coach out there!
Go and try to talk to a group of 10s. After that it will be a piece of cake to approach a 7 or 8 who is walking alone
I know that Todd teaches against the concept of "state" but I must say that gaming in state helps me with my approach anxiety...
Yesterday, I cold approached a 22yr old uni girl when I was in state and it was incredible :)
Cold approached a girl today for the first time and it went pretty bad, and I do feel bad about it but I think I'm gonna have to try again.
Congratulations man so what happened with the cold approach
This is the shit we should learn at school man. Imagine if these YT videos wouldn't exist.
Very useful techniques, and not just for 'approach anxiety'.
Todd's videos are my favorite out of all the UA-cam dating genre.
Great videos man! Keep up the great work. These are so helpful. This is really good stuff! Thanks
Yo Todd, Confidence is a big part of good game: can you make a vid about ways for improving your confidence?
Hey Todd, I noticed you and other game teachers never mention dancing. Why is that? All these clubs and many bars that you game at surely have dance floors. I was wondering if you could provide a video on dance floor game. Not so much how to dance in general, but tips on in what way should one dance when entering the floor, how to approach & dance with a girl on the dance floor, what to do while dancing with a girl in order to escalate, how to know when it's time to get you and her away from the floor (and how to do that) and what to do after.
Rofl890 yo check out this vid. Might help ua-cam.com/video/HHG6YVaLIFQ/v-deo.html
Exactly what i needed! Thanks Todd
Ive just starting approaching the last week or so. My anxiety is though the roof. Ive asked one woman out at supermarket, she was very friendly but didn't go out. I've said hi to 5 other women with varying amounts of conversation after saying hi, but I didn't ask them out.
Q: Hey, Todd! I have a big problem with the "Narrative" part. The common thing I have is meeting the girl, getting attraction from her, pulling her out of the venue heading towards her or my place, but losing her on the way or getting huge LMR, that ends in her leaving eventually. So please explain how exactly do you build this "Narrative"?
P.S. I am the owner of "The System", I watched all the videos and infields on the topic, so I know the basics, like the "Narrative" being the movie script in her head, but still I don't quite understand how to implement it. What ends up happening is I pull the girl from the venue just as a cool guy she is attracted to, but eventually she understands that sex is really about to happen, freaks out and finds an excuse to go home instead. So maybe couple of specific techniques or few real examples would help me to get it.
How have you gone about this issue ?
Dude you are really fucking good at this. Thank you for sharing this information with us.
I'm trying. I asked a younger mom(that I had no intention of asking out) about avocados on the supermarket checkout belt. There with a toddler I guess? Not sure exactly how to classify but pretty young :lol:. I thought of the least creepy thing I could say.
I said "I love avocados, always looking for new recipes." Ended up talking and she asked me if I'm single :lol:. I also told her I'm a great cook :lol:. She said maybe you can come cook for us one day. Lots of smiles, maybe even be IOIs? Turns out she is a divorced mom, but not interested, even though I'm quite lonely. Did get her number though, just practice. Don't want someone elses problems.
what problems? Being divorced? Everyone has problems. If you wanna be in a relationship you're gonna have to deal with "someone else's problems" to an extent. Good job on the approach though :) I'd say call her up, cook some dinner and see what's up!
@@snakedogman Yeah, I was pretty shy and that was out of my comfort zone.
She said her husband cheated on her, she said she really did nothing and thought she was reasonable but after she had the kid you could use your imagination what may have happened. I may see her again, a friend can't hurt. Still once that happens people have baggage and you are inheriting problems.
@@alb12345672 well done mate getting the milfs.
My rule #1 the longer you wait for "the right moment" to come, the higher the chances you won't do anything at all. So just dive into it with fear and see what happens. You shouldn't care about the result
I wear an apple headset and talk to my recording. This talking gives me talking energy. Once I’m feeling the energy, I can approach easier.
Genius
really smart
So you mean you have a conversation with yourself out loud to get warmed up basically?
That’s sad as fuck 😂
Been doing game for 10 years + and I still get approach anxiety. Some days I have less anxiety but if i dont go out for a while or i allow bad experiences to affect me my anxiety can get bad.
This is pure gold.
This helps when I'm really done at the gym but know that I stil have to do some reps. I tell myself that at the count of three, I must continue the exercise. Most of the time this works. I am new to game and I look mediocre, still have to work on myself. But this weekend I went to a party did this countdown thingy, approached a girl that I'd rate to be a 9. I am 100% that I could've done her that night, if I knew how to close. We had that sexual talk and hugging and so on. This was my first cold approach and it went really well. I killed the anxiety by just counting down. Hope it helps someone else out there too, good luck mates :)
This approach is great, but don't forget that there is a 3rd option beyond the binary "either I get good with women by learning to approach, or I die alone". You can get comfortable and eventually genuinely excited to approach women, yet still fail at attracting them. That's what happened to me after I got out of a long term relationship in my mid 20's.
I had no idea how to approach so I looked at myself and identified my faults: I was afraid to approach, had no idea what to say when I did, wasn't confident, wasn't charismatic, and was built like a toothpick in an era with a severe wood shortage.
So over the next 10 years I built my body into a very impressive physique, I slowly pushed myself out of my comfort zone as he described until eventually I could approach with little if any anxiety. Then I learned to how let my inner confidence and charisma flow and effortlessly talk, get girls smiling and laughing etc.
But in the end, even though I had successfully developed these skills, I still failed to attract women. I could never get them to leave the bar with me, if I met them in the gym, an improv class, the grocery store etc. I could talk them up and get their number no problem, but when it came time to hit them up, they'd never reply. Hell, I've had friends tell me that so and so was really into me and wanted them to give me her number, but when I texted her, she wasn't interested at all.
I guess what I'm saying is, you can identify and fix your faults, build yourself into a jacked, confident, charismatic man, but if the universe hates you you'll still fail miserably. And btw, if you think being out of shape, insecure, nervous and failing with women is depressing, try flipping all of those around and somehow STILL failing. It will introduce you to a level of depression you never knew existed.
Did you trying more kino, to touch them, to escalate with them etc
I have heard if you almost in the beginning teasing, escalating with touching then they feel with you more comfortable and are ready for next thing
@@dragisakondic5743 Unfortunately, you have to be VERY careful making physical contact these days. A while back I was in a bar and had chatted with a girl for a while. We went our separate ways and a little while later I was walking and saw her with her back turned. I tapped her on the back, around her upper/middle back, and just said "hey" as I walked by.
Less than a minute later one of her friends came over and told me to leave her alone and not talk to her anymore.
I didn't linger with the touch or touch her lower back, it was a touch I would do with my friends.
Sadly, that kind of hyper sensitive response is all too common these days and has made me very wary of making physical contact anymore.
@@fuzzypanda1684 what I have heard of others guys is that you can only touch you when you have already established comfort with her, when she feels already safe with you, when she laugh on with you. Then you can touch her, especially in the moment when she laugh on your jokes or stories.
What is more important is to tell whatever you tell her like with "theatrical acting" brining emotions there, cause women are emotional beings, they feed from emotions. That's why they like bad guys who behave to her like a asshole. They need some emotions either postive from you, or negative (Dark Triads traits, that's why they work on women)
Awesome vid bro, you should know that you are changing lives here...so much love !!!
Btw, who the fuck is unliking these vids :)
Todd - as always, you're awesome.
Q:Hi Todd!
I'm a musician/music teacher. Last year I started teaching guitar to a fellow singer/music teacher. Four months ago we decided to start a couple of music projects, but I must say my intentions weren't purely musical.
At the time we were both separating from our couples, and I started falling for her in kinda platonic way.
I'm afraid that after too much small talk the interest she might had once has dissipated.
I try engaging in closer conversations but can't find the right energy to focus into, it's like she's throwing off-court any advance I throw at her, but there are no signs of shit-tests either. The age difference makes me feel a bit weird (she's 27, I'm 38).
We see each other a couple times weekly, what strategy would you recommend?
Thanks a lot for your help.
To put all things together, approaching is the hardest and only problem in my relationship. I feel like it will never be hard again if I approached and get her phone number. So i must focus on that part
I miss having approach anxiety
Bullshit
Thanks for the tips Todd!
Thanks for that
for me in general, getting rejected is not of my problems, i've got the
attitude, alright your loss, in my head, and great comebacks etc, it's
just, i'm kinda an introvert, not so social living, don't have alot
going on or have ambition, it's it's just the cold approach to woman i'
may like, or just practice on, how to engage an conversation for
small talk or really see, if she kinda interested to make further effort
to ask her out if the signs are there, if i would get rejected, i'll
just say, alright, no problem have a great day, and leave, so far i'm 14
cold approach rejections in.
I missed one today and it sucks I walked up to her after a 30 minutes of eye contact exchange but the moment I got close I froze and felt extreme anxiety and walked back now i hate my self
Playing to do what's deliberately bad also helps you with approach anxiety because knowing what the worst possible outcome is can help you feel more comfortable with approaching more girls in more situations.
The biggest thing that guys fail on is first conquering their own self confidence. If you aren't even confident in your own skin such as appearance, body type, or body language; how do you expect to even approach girls?
First things first, work on your self confidence. Hit the gym, upgrade your wardrobe, and work on having open body language. If you struggle with making eye contact with strangers, start focusing on that as s priority. A good way to practice is to wear sunglasses on a sunny day and just look people in the eyes passing by, they can't even tell you're looking at them. Then level up by doing it without the glasses etc.
You can't approach a girl with confidence if you aren't confident with yourself, all I can say is focus on that and worry about girls later.
as the assessor of my examen professional told me "you must know the topic better than all of us in the public"
Find a way to feel love and anxiety will have a difficult time coming up.
The Beatles
Truth be told, the other person most likely won't be looking for any mistakes you're going to make...
Yet another good point
Boom! Awesome todd.
Sir thanks for your video
Can I ask you a question
What is better
Direct opener approach or indirect opener approach?
Stop watching porno !
@Fred yeah but there's a lot of guys that have no sex life because they drain their mojo so much that they have little drive to talk to girls. Everybody's different.
yeah i agree. unless u are already decent with girls this is a must. It gives motivation and some discipline too
very nice points thank you confidence through competence
Todd - What percentage of your game is predicated around you having good wings that help talk to the friends and really help with group dynamics vs how much of it is just you balling out by yourself and working the group dynamics to a T and isolating with the girl. A lot of your in field seems like it is you solo dolo!
Every infield I saw of him shows him alone. Such an inspiration, cause I have no friends for daygame or night game and gonna develop myself through solo action
@@thisisrandomphrase yeah thats a good plan i need to get off my ass and do more solo day game shit as well. I have a few wings for going out at night but most of them suck except for one who is decent. They rarely help at all.
I asked for an hour 25 girls, and like 5 for direction, when I gave them reason to speak they were talking constantly, i think it depends on topic you're talking about
Fire!!! Thanx Todd!!!
What should I say if my name is also Todd?
Godd.
"My name Jeff"
k8 its 2019 bud
Hi my name is Oddt.
ahahhaah best comment ever
I feel like I shouldn't have this level of approach anxiety being 6'2", 210 lbs, having a full head of hair, and a six figure income....it's still terrifying 😅
Hey Todd, love your content and appreciate your willingness to help guys improve their game. My question is rather individual specific, however, I doubt i'm alone with this problem. What is the best way for good looking guys to game girls when it appears the guy is more high value? What I mean by this is it seems like girls will initially judge me based off looks and choice of vocabulary and often disqualify themselves. Maybe it's age specific? The age group i'm geared towards are those 18-24 and often in college
Question: Every time I go out on a date, girls put me in the boyfriend category instead of a lover category. I am having difficulty finding the right balance between comfort and high value. Please help me out here.
This helped me so much, thanks
Best of all is change yourself image and think about it as a horizontal not vertical relationship with people around you, with that you will be fine you can also read the courage to be dislike speaking about Adler's psychology
Ohh wow this an opportunity. I want this to happen. Reframe it as excitment.
my biggest would be the initial reaction from the girl, especially if they are in groups.
I have no problem going up to anybody, woman or man. I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone. It's the presenting the question of a date that terrifies me. Im old now, 55, widowed and feel so awkward. I used to meet women at work, I am retired police officer, now im just Joe blow, I have no idea what to say.
Hi Todd, I watch many of your vids and I’m very frustrated because I just can’t bring myself to overcome this anxiety. It’s paralyzing. Since I have the dating apps, I cant use your 2nd advice, since they’re always there as a safety net (and I do get dates in them once in a while) but I feel they only make my social anxiety worst. I’m in my 30s and this frar makes me feel stuck and emasculated. Can you share some advice?
Hi Todd , can you make a List or give a example please for a mindset which social value a human can offer or Show without any outer Material values or social circle? I feel incongruent and arrogant when i try to act like a "high value" guy , because i cannot create a mindset into this direction maybe.
Hey Todd, I have been watching your videos for some time now and I really like your content and methodology, I feel like it has had a positive impact on my personal relationships and I thank you for that. I would like to ask you a super in depth question about a recent relationship. I feel like it maybe beneficial for some of viewers as well, because they may also be experiencing similar situations. What would be the best way to reach out to you? Thanks
Top-notch content
I LOVE THE TODD GOD!
As a 35-year-old virgin with crippling social ineptitude, #2 certainly won't work for me. I'm no longer afraid of living and dying alone. I'm more used to that life, so much so that the prospect of having a woman in my life is far, far more frightening. But I'll give the other two a shot.
Mr. E try hypnosis i.e Paul Mckenna confidence and the expectations work todd mentions on lowering the expectation of the exercise I'm the opposite of you it seems but I still have AA
Very good
Hi Todd, I very recently started going out and thanks to your content I've already been able to get a few numbers and a few day two's at the bars I've been to. The pickup community seems to like clubs but I'm finding it really difficult to communicate over the volume in those venues. I'm not a particularly soft-spoken person. How can I make myself heard in loud places? Thanks!
Bro forget the clubs, it's the worst place for an approach believe me. Cold approach particularly in the evening time when everyone is relaxed and thinking about going out and getting a drink is your best chance
@@SS-yv9cq Funny enough I’ve never just like “picked up” a girl before who I just met and the other night I went to a club and talked to this girl at the bar then when she went dancing with her friend I deadass just grabbed her and said let’s make out and she was like ok.. idk how it happened but drunk me just didn’t give af
Hey Todd. After all your years of pickup, do you ever still get that sprinkle of anxiety before you approach? Or has it 100% evaporated
I think your answer is that you perceive it as excitement not nervousness, so by that token, I would imagine you don’t experience the “fear” anymore... even if it’s only a smidge
Todd the God🙌🏽thanks
fucking love this guy
Thanks for pitting up all this brilliant content. Here is a comment not related to this video, but not a direct criticism of it specifically. The PUA industry at large fails to acknowledge social norms as a real reason why men have anxiety about approaching and about other necessary actions. Yes, there are ways to soften that break. And yes, you have to break them to some extent in order to meet people and learn how to interact. But there is a real threat of ostracism and even physical violence. Acknowledging that threat would go a long way to make men grasp their own situations and advance. (The industry has argued that those threats existed only in the past.) Better, let's explicitly teach the norms, ways to temper the breaking, and the skills to judge of how much you can break in a given situation. Here is a related video ua-cam.com/video/svWPTUNlPTE/v-deo.html . I'm curious about your thoughts.
Fuck. Now I’m cold approaching snakes.
Time to go ask every stranger I see where the nearest Taco Bell is lol
I have a question if you see that the girl is not stopping to your opener in the beginning should you persist until you open her?
thanks homie
Does it get easier to approach forever once you've done say 100 day approaches. Did a couple indirect ones a week ago after years of putting it off. Felt to anxious I started apologizing and practically ran away in the middle of a good set. Both were a 9 & a 10. Think it might have been easier if they didn't go as well as it did
Hey todd
Keep up the cool content man!
My question is
What do you think of asking the girl to take your number and text you later. Would that work?? Or she’ll just delete it later. Even if she’s interested she might not take initiative cuz girls don’t usually do. What’s your take on this
thanks
Very perfect