How Do I Escalate Without Giving My Power Away?
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- Опубліковано 12 лис 2018
- www.toddvdating.com
How to show interest without being needy... how to escalate without giving away your power or being creepy.... some of the most common questions and dilemmas in game. First off, if in doubt, just do it. Even if it's obvious, but at a more advanced level, frame and subtlety are hugely important to your success. In fact, most game tactics are designed to do exactly this.
That fire analogy is actual fire 🔥
Bernardo Aaron Pina Erik The Electric approve
you wanted to say that "it's actually lit"
Great analogy with the professor/grades example.
stealth797 Professor Valentine. Dr. V.
@yeahyeahblabla someguy
I just laugh when people think these jacked good-looking dudes all slay pussy left and right. A lot of time you can throw a girl at them and have her grinding on them dying to suck their cock and they can’t accept it or find some other way to chode out of it.
The people who don’t get how insanely common it is for these good-looking dudes to drop the ball tend to either be:
1) Naturals who didn’t drop the ball a lot themselves so they can’t really relate to the notion that a girl could be giving you ioi’s and you DON’T try to fuck her or believe she wants to fuck you especially if they rolled with an alpha pack like themselves who all were getting laid (or at least bragging/acting like they do and glossing over when the girl is ugly etc like guys often do lol) so they just kind of assume all the other good-looking rich etc dudes were doing the same… or
2) AFCs who never approach or talk to girls or learn game and just listen to the Hollywood stereotypes and blue-pill conditioning because they never go out and collect the data for themselves because it’s scary and painful to go down this journey and a lot easier to just believe everyone else is slaying based on attributes you were unfairly not dealt in your genetics (perfect excuse to never really try, and break all the rules like Tyler and the rest of us who don’t turn heads when we walk into a room).
This is also why I say looks are great, they get you some free ioi’s and opens here and there. If you don’t have game, you’ll still fuck it up…so focus on game above all else.
Society beats us over the head with how we aren't good enough "as-is" so guys have all these fucked up confidence issues. This is again why I say looks don't really matter infield, 'cause every night out you can see these tall jacked good-looking dudes with shitty internals going home alone because even when a girl DOES like them they have trouble accepting and embracing that and taking it somewhere because they don't believe they're "good enough"…even if they LOOK good they feel like they don't have enough money, or if they have money and look good they feel like they aren't tall enough, etc etc it's all bullshit designed to weed out the guys who give no fucks from the guys who will listen to what society tells them about how to feel about themselves…and of course it drives the whole consumerism culture we live in, 'cause that guy can feel good about himself if he just buys the latest brand name product of such and such, at least for a few weeks, until the newer version comes out and then only LOSERS still use that OLD version. Vicious cycle.
My problem with typical Red Pill method of “just get jacked“ is that it's still playing inside society's value system. Even if they get jacked so they can finally feel good about themselves, that's a value system that society put on them so no matter how good they do
1) there will ALWAYS be a better looking guy than them out there, so they can never feel like "the best" because someone will ALWAYS have another inch on their biceps or a more expensive suit etc, and
2) they're still determining their self-worth based on other people's values.
That's why I stress go to the gym, sure, but do it for yourself and your own health, not because you think it'll get you girls because as soon as you're doing it "to get girls" you're coming from the wrong frame and starting to build shitty internal wiring.
yeahyeahblabla someguy yeah u havent done game so long have U:(
@yeahyeahblabla someguy
Girls aren’t going “well this guy is fun, but he has 16% bodyfat and this other guy has 14% bodyfat, so I’m going to bang the 14%.”
I’m not saying there aren’t health benefits and that we haven’t been socially conditioned to feel better if we achieve “better” looks (by our socially conditioned standard).
But that’s situational confidence tied to an external (because every time you look in a mirror and say “I am getting in shape so I have more value!!” you are subscribing deeper and deeper into the notion that your value is tied to being in shape) and that “situation” can be taken away or devalued, just like tying your confidence to drinking booze or wearing your favorite shirt or your new pair of shoes etc. Again I don’t think that’s a very controversial statement, it’s simply logical.
The truth is a lot of these guys who are super into LMS develop complexes. Like if they have a layer a fat on their stomach they feel ashamed about it even though no one can tell the difference when they’re dressed. This is womanly behavior and is straight up disruptive for a man.
Part of why my looks don’t phase me is that I don’t value them. ie - in shape or not, I’m still awesome in my mind…my weight doesn’t define my value anymore than what color of bed-sheets I have does. So I’m as confident with a bit of chub as I am in shape.
To me, my value is in my beliefs and my actions…so as long as I’m congruent in my beliefs and I take right action, I see myself as high-value.
But when you subscribe to an entire value system based around looks, and then you eat a burger instead of a chicken breast before you go out, you feel like everyone can TELL, and girls will like you LESS, because in your value system, you aren’t high value anymore. Same thing with money, clothing style, what car you drive, where you live, your race, your height, etc. etc.
You determine your own value system, and when your frame is strong other people will fall into your value system. This is why if you saw Donald Trump on the street objectively, you’d laugh at the comb-over’ed angry fat little man. But when you’re in his office, playing by HIS value system, you shit your pants when he bitches out your business performance. His frame is strong and you’re using his value system to determine your worth.
Part of why we tell newbies to start grooming better and dressing better and going to hit the gym and shit is that we know they don’t have their own value system yet… their value system is society’s value system that’s been socially conditioned into them since birth. We know that it’ll take a while and a lot of mind-blowing reference experience before they start to believe that they can determine their own values, so until that happens, we encourage them to at least do better within the value system they currently subscribe to because, like the body-builder who achieves his perfect weight/musculature and is thus high-value in his value system, he will see himself as higher value and have more confidence.
Once he gets good with girls and starts experimenting with going out dressed sloppy, going out in ridiculous outfits, forgetting to get a haircut, going out when he’s got an acne breakout, going out when he’s gained a few pounds, etc., but he’s built himself a solid set of game skills and applies them…he slowly starts gaining reference experience that he does just as well when he’s at 16% body-fat instead of 12%, and slowly over time he starts to remove those things from his value system.
With girls, what you feel she feels. So if you fully 100% believe that a high-value man is someone who has a million dollars, that’s what she’ll believe, because you’ll sub-communicate it to her, and women ping off the world around them to determine their value system (“omg what does everyone think of my new shoes??”).
P.S. surf the bodybuilding.com forums Misc and Relationship sections and read posts by the Forever Aloners. Fucktons of guys who look better than any of us commenters here will ever look in our lives, who can’t get girls. Some of them make a shitload of money too.
There are guys there who are like “man at 8% body fat I wasn’t getting looks from any girls. But at 7% wow they all love me!!!”. Do you really think girls all over can tell the difference between 7 and 8 % bodyfat? And suddenly the 1% difference makes their ginas all tingle? Or do you think maybe the guys didn’t like themselves at 8% so they convinced themselves there were no looks coming their way and talked themselves out of it the way an AFC will talk himself out of noticing a girl’s IOI’s because he doesn’t think he’s attractive enough to get them, and when he likes himself more his reticular activation system picks up on the signals more and believes he deserves them?
@yeahyeahblabla someguy
Women will say they look for traits like height for example, but they look for those traits because those traits are external indicators that the guy probably has attractive alpha qualities, not because those traits are, themselves, inherently attractive.
All pickup does is show guys how to purposely demonstrate having those attractive alpha qualities that tall/rich/famous also indicate a guy probably has.
Any poor fat short guy with a hot girl, and any tall rich good-looking dude who doesn’t get laid when he goes out, demonstrate that those traits are not objectively superior because they’re not consistent and those situations happen all the time. If those things were consistent then girls would all have pics of Ronnie Coleman in their locker at school. When something isn’t consistent you have to drill further into “why does this sometimes work but sometimes NOT work? Why do girls want to fuck Tom Cruise but not Bill Gates? Why can 5’9″ ugly balding ginger Tyler take girls off taller better looking dudes in a club? Girls should be walking past them to go hit on the tall jacked rich guy up the street.”
You keep drilling into why something sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t work until you find something that IS a consistent principle, like: “dominance is alpha/attractive” which is true whether the guy is tall or short, rich or poor, etc. That’s a consistent principle and a lot of PUA teaching is built off that consistent principle. All PUA is doing is teaching guys to demonstrate that consistent principle quickly in the interaction. The tall guy is LIKELY to be dominant, so she’ll check him out over the short guy, but if the short guy steps up and actively demonstrates dominance and the tall guy is a chode, the short guy gets the attraction because “dominance is alpha/attractive” is a consistent principle.
Push Pull is the game
oh no, thats how toxic relationships are, good luck
well it is one way to play. despite his opinion on compliments giving away power there is an approach called mode one where you go complete direct and honest. it is begging for you to be shit tested and you need balls of steel and iron clad frame control and congruence for it to work but it does work.personally i am a sarcastic asshole anyway so i find push pull more fun.
This guy is the AthleanX of dating... amazing
This opener is killing your gains
Hahahaha yes
"I'm not using fake weights"
Haha
*You mean he uses fake weights?*
I’ve been so torn lately because a girl I’ve been talking to showed so much interest in me quick like A LOT and it through me off my guard and I showed interest back. Now she’s noticeably backed away from me and my insecurities have gotten bad in my head (I’m good with girls and know not to give them what they want but this girl literally got me I have no clue how I feel bamboozaled) but the part where you talked about the fire really gave me the slap in the face I needed. I have plenty of options and I shouldn’t feel worried of rejection from this girl despite already having slept with her multiple times. It’s just tough man these girls change up too quick.
Todd’s stuff is legendary. But pick your self up other mentors as well and begin to complete the bigger puzzle that is woman with pieces which you don’t have.
Also check out Max , Tyler RSD
Coach Corey Wayne
Alexander Grace
And Charisma On Command
The first and only girl I've been with sexually, I didn't really care about her in a romantic way. I was just having fun with her and stuff. Until one day she asked "what are we" -- that's when I realized she submitted to me. But I can't imagine when you really like her, guess that's why they say to try and spin plates. Like I always tell my brother, girls have to hold back on opening their legs and men have to hold back on opening their hearts 🤣😭
&&8@@TheWorldsnotenough
This dude has mad emotional intelligence
I think that's the real key to game. Understanding what to say and do in each situation. It's harder to teach than people give credit for.
@Chad Warden his intelligence isnt mad
Practice. It's all practice
Todd is getting deep every time I watch his video. Learning a lot too. 🔥
Your video guy deserves a raise.
the way i like to escalate which gives no power away at all, and im pretty sure ive heard todd say something similar before, is if a girl says something that could be taken out of context in a sexual manner, DO IT, push that envelope all the way, be cocky, assume she already wants you and have fun with the interaction
Straight up game Todd. Thank you! Love all the analogies btw.
I forget the pulls sometimes when talking to hot girls I’m kinda cocky and speak my mind so more of pushes so I’m going to practice throwing in some pulls to show intent
Same bro. They end up calling me weird. Hard to know when to pull
You have some insanely good analogies and concepts which are easy to grasp. These concepts take away some of the greatest thresholds for regular guys to approach, or at least it gets us to reflect what needs to be eliminated, to ease approaching.
Sharp as a razor. Thanks Todd!
I think a great video idea is you explaining stuff from little questions your students ask you. Like that last question l actually really enjoyed the question and the answer.
That's what he's doing on this channel lol
No i meant more smaller questions like the last one in one video.
even the beats are fire. well done todd
Todd your videos have truly helped me with approaching women in public. Kudos to you for the constructive criticism in videos and not making shy guys feel bad. Thanks
This actually can be applied to most people you met not just girls you date! Very good way to make people respect you
Nice all the time is passive aggressive. Its seen as disingenuous. So is being agreeable about everything someone says. You wouldn’t act that way with friends. You should be calibrated but please speak your mind.
Hell yes Morty
They're so picky that they'll always find something wrong with what you're doing. That's the whole issue. I'm not single anymore but when I was it was fucking painful and depressing.
@@don1041 there's no real 'how to' on any of this stuff i think. You're just lucky enough to be a person who knows how to go about getting what they want and more luckily succeeding more often than not.
@@don1041 even the most basic guides tell you never bring up politics or religion on the first date. unless you are discussing how hot you think elizabeth warren is then how is this helping build sexual tension?
بقق
great video! Love some of the analogy's to fire and professor
Awesome analogy with fire
Excellent advice.
Nice examples, earned my sub 🙂
likability bias, one of the first principles learned in sales and persuasion. be a good person but stand up for what you believe in so you should have most people like you and be a likeable person but about 10-20% of people hate you and it allows people that do like you to respect you more
Todd, the God of pick-up. Best mentor ever.
Brilliant content
Amen to that brother 🙏🏼
This guys metaphors and analogies.... fckin excellent!
Great advice, thank you Todd!
Thank you for the video Todd. But there is another reason why the beginner does not approach and that is we are not afraid of the approach itself but how embarrassing it will be if she rejects us while there is an audience of people usually around her. We will feel like losers and practically a class clown in front of all those people.
Do you have to use the types of openers in the System main modules, or will “Hi” or something similar work?
Don't want to give too much away, but this video contains the answers for probably the three most common questions asked in game... so I'm suggesting it might be worth watching. Enjoy!
More at: systembytodd.com
Interesting point with fire.
Todd you look so fucking swagger with that haircut and beard, keep it up.
what i wanna know is when's Todd gonna do a video on how to PIITB
That song is bajen pa ca by Bryant myers
Hey so I'm confused are negatives equivalent to qualifiers? Bc it seams like they are the same.
Hey Todd, I have a time managment question.
How to effectively manage work/college, hobbies and doing pickup?
Let me tell you - whenever I'm extremely busy and worn out I am not interested in picking up girls. I'd rather rest.
What would you do if you were me?
I've personally ran into this issue myself. Learn how to integrate pickup into your schedule in a way so that it doesn't take up extra time / effort. Are there any opportunities for you to casually pickup at work / college that take no time out of your day? Any opportunities to pickup through your hobbies?
Military mindset. Tough it out. If you want it bad enough, you'll do anything to get it.
So true!
My name is Jeff sir.
And
I love your videos about women :)
here's a fun strategy to try:
lie 100% of the time....
profit
Collect underpants
?
Profit
Robert If you consent to sex on certain conditions that don’t actually exist, you did not actually consent to the sex act (because your conditions were not met). Therefore, the act is nonconsensual. What do we call nonconsensual sex?
Ron
Comment: “lie 100% of the time”
Your reply: “You don’t go around lying”
What are we talking about here, brother? 😂
Right? Self affirmation posed as a question?
Pure gold
What is that instrumental, anyone know?
Mad helpful
Are there any negs that are deal breakers? Like implying they are stupid?
These analogies hit me deep
What do you recommend if you naturally break rapport allow and overly tease the chick... lol but struggle to turn it off.
Yo Todd. I need some advice on how to smoothly exit an interaction. I notice, especially early on in the night, I'll jump into a "warmup" set and end up hooking a girl I don't want to leave with. What are your strategies for getting out of an interaction without being awkward or rude. Thanks
Just say "hey it was really nice meeting you, but I need to catch up with my friends now. Have a fun night" and leave
Lol that one person in the room is so me
outro song?
Funny enough I realized that when I m talking to girl I m not attracted to I make her chance much more than a girl I m attached to, I disagree more I give her more no in the conversation,my challenge now has been training my brain to c hot girls and act like I m not attracted to them. Hard as fuck. Thank u Todd!!!!!
Same here bro, as soon as I’m attracted to I girl I’m talking to it all goes down hill. I’d be so good at picking up girls that I’m not attracted to lol
I see a good question “ how to deal with AMOGS “ That’s a good question, only way I see to really stop it, might be a risky one but there’s always more females, call him out on what he’s doing, confront him on his action and try to not humiliate him but make him rethink his actions I guess I’d say, also don’t say it in a tone where you’re defeated, in a calm laughing, charming tone and let the girl choose without you caring obviously, you must always seem higher value in any situation, in any case if she choose the other guy, chance she might not like him depending on his game and she’ll be looking for you
Todd, I have no social circle of girls in my life or any girls of that matter. Can you make a video of a routine or way I can establish to change this. How do I get out of this and start dating women. I'm 23 by the way. PS: I do 1 approach a day.
23yo. That was me 11years ago i was running around doing silly openers at the time. You guys have much better materials and routines at this day and age so just go out and take action
What kinda styles really depends on your true personality
Like how can a person be a calculated seducer
Dude is so analytical
Genius
Is it possible that girls increase their difficulty by guys with game? I see often guys with gorgeous girlfriends that are not that good looking, groomed or sozial skilled and without any knowledge of game. But in my case, I have to deal with everything. And how can you transform your lover frame into relationships fram without being a provider?
Best advice I got recently is to send special notes as a letter and not a text.. I use this app Text a letter to send real letters so I guess its still basically like texting idk #teamlazy
for teacher-grade analogy, does that mean I should stop being nice to other people that i am not attracted to?
How do you approach a girl that has already rejected you on social media or that is a friend of someone you’ve already approached/hooked up with?
Don't
Some things we perceive as negative are actually positive..
Todd whats the best way to deal with AMOGS
Good question
yeah great question that is kind of ignored even by todd. he says basically ignore them but its not that easy, especially since some of them can use some pretty advanced "destabilising" techniques. they know right away what youre trying to do and they can for example pretend to be your friend then continue to make fun of you in a subtle way or lead you away from the girl, or lead her away from you. they can throw "curveballs" like asking questions to you that are impossible to answer and will make you sound stupid whatever you say etc many things like this i see it all the time. its a topic pretty much ignored by the entire pua community. there are also very few videos on how to amog, and how to deal with amoggers. i mean i dont disagree that the best thing is probably to avoid getting into an amog-situation, but its not always so easy, douchy amogs (or wannabe amogs) of different ages and skill are everywhere these days, and especially hard if the amog is part of the group of her friends.
Yeah as a general rule the less reactive man wins but that doesn't always work depending on the situation.
@@airlopez21 yes i agree but you have to say or do something at least, if the guy is right there next to you it can be very difficult if not outright weird to pretend that he isnt there
What is meant by AMOGS?
Honest Signals... Even if they shouldn't work in your favor...
Will your system work for a highschool student like me? I’d say I’m pretty good so far but of course always trying to improve my game
Yes.
Focus on grades son, this time won't return trust me.
I think its all about your tonality of your voice.
Hi Tod, I used to be pretty good with girls however have lost my mojo in the last year, any advice? (I've generally become less confident as well)
Get back at it. Is the only way.
This could be diet related a.k.a if you eat crap you feel like crap. And may be due to other lifestyle choices. Sleeping patterns etc
Dopamine
@@optispek9873 how would you recommend to naturally increase dopamine?
Get back out there and swing the bat. Get the rep is in young blood
What to do if you are in a relationship but another girl still likes you? That's been my problem and I'm a nice guy...😢
What's the song. Shit sounded gangster
Spirals by x-ray LSA
So my question is, wtf did I do wrong this weekend? I went out Friday and Saturday night walked up to lots of girls got numbers Friday and Saturday. All of witch texted me back after I walked away and sent the "it was nice meeting you" text all these girls were extremely touchy feely when I walked to the bar or a diffrent location of the club to get another drink or what ever they came to find me. They were all out with friends so I didn't want to come off needy to by lingering around. Saturday I was out again and found this 10 from England! She was the hottest girl in this bar with a small dance floor also out with friends I noticed the guys were afraid to approach her. I don't care I walked up to her and did everything right. She went from not sure if she wanted to talk to me to having a great conversation I got her on the dance floor she asked for my phone and put her number in it and sent herself a text I know she only had one drink so she wasn't drunk. So after we went back to the bar we made out for a few seconds witch was a great kiss and talked and danced some more she then said after the song I need to go back to my friend so she moved over the them and I went for a 3rd drink. When I came back she was extremely cold and her chubby friend got in my face and said this is my girlfriend back off witch had me off guard because my girl was trying to not look at me so I took the hint and kept my distance after I finished my drink I approached her again said I was heading out and it was great talking to her. Again with the chubby friend saying this is my gf! Lol I texted her on Monday with not reply. So why am I getting all these numbers and no texts me back? Lol
text game is different from in person game
Is this true for dating as well? I’ve been seeing a girl for about 2-3 months and every couple of weeks she’ll have a go at me for some random shit and we won’t talk for a day or two.
This time it’s because of something that I’m 90% sure wasn’t my fault, or at least that she’s having a disproportionate reaction to.
In this case I should stick up for myself and express that I think she’s wrong so as to maintain my power in the relationship and show that she doesn’t dictate whenever things don’t go well, when we have a fight, and whose fault it is all the time right?
*Being nice all the time is wrong, but I thought that being nice, to new people you meet, from the get-go, is a good thing.*
people get confused in fact in general when you tease and even old people get offended haha
Mubz Got Beats
Ready for the war brothers?!!!!!!!! AAHuuuuu!! Aahuuuuu!!!
lmao
Todd should men open the door for a woman they find attractive or is that giving your power away a little bit? 🤔
Ying and Yang
So I would say 50/50
Yin
Dollar Tree has razors.
Peedinkus they also have your paycheck
Blue BMW Hahahaha
Blue BMW I am self-employed, I'm a hundred-aire.
how should i interact with this girl ive been seeing for a month? about twice a week we meet up, go to a restaurant and then hang out at my place some times we watch a movie or listen to music together. Should i say sweet things 75% of the time, and then 25% of the time say cocky mean things? Im so confused
Be honest.. and start joking constantly.. when you miss, you can always say I was just joking/teasing... it works. But you have to be joking and teasing a lot. Push poll works a lot especially when you miss it doesn’t seem like a big miss
another anology wood be farming , could relate to game as well
I’ve been straight my whole life, gay people are cool too, but I love Todd. Intent? Brazenly declared!!!!
It means be a genuine person
First 5 seconds... "oop, doesn't apply to me," out
Doesn't neediness just seem to be wanting something from her that she doesn't want from you?
👽🔥🔥
hi!!
Hey Todd quick question is it weird to get sexual gratification from murdering small animals?
Ps. Thanks love your channel
OMG that's hilarious. Thanks for the belly laugh.
Nah bro
Nothing to be ashamed bruh.
whats that intro song?
Why...1) Scared to do it! 2) Don’t know how
Yo Todd im not getting attraction out of these girls like wtf do i do, they get bored of me after like 20 min and arent escalating on me, barely show signs of interest after the 1st 2 minutes
Roshes aii probably not good looking enough
@@billybazzi4536 im actually a good looking guy but somehow i always mess it up, and i triedd push pull and all that stuff for attraction it dosent work only one that works for me is disqualification and only sometimes
Base on your first and second comment you have two problems.
1.You're using pick up attraction techniques to get result rather then expressing yourself. What attract the girl are your sub communications and your personality, techniques are their to bring notice things. The techniques are a extension full you are not button push get a reaction.
2. You're not escalating/ increasing sexual tension. It's your job to move the interaction forward, you can't expect girl to. If your taking girl for 20 mins, you should be thinking about pulling her or moving her situation where sex can happen rather waiting for them make move.
If you dont know what the problem is, get external help. Get a wing to observe what you do. It should be obvious to other people. Try to film it on video if you can, if not get an opinion from other people who know game. But really, to me it sounds like you are not creating sexual tension. Or creating Premise in Todd's words.
80/20 life ratio
Do guys get shit tested during escalation?
Someone needs to point this out to Alpha Male Strategies
He has a whole video that discusses an alpha male strategy called disqualification which is escalation in disguise.
02:30, 3:20, 4:10, 6:20, whole
So I told this girl, “I like the way your dressed but there is something dorky about you” all she said was “okay” I then said, “yeah I don’t know if this is gonna work out you’re trouble” all she said was “okay” I stayed quiet because she didn’t respond at all I didn’t know what to say after that so I just said alright thanks have a good day! So awkward and she felt it should I have kept going ? She was on her phone And I felt like she was brushing me off
Wait… Now that I think about it I feel like my energy going in to the conversation wasn’t amped up enough because I went in with higher energy but could it have been that I wasn’t too high energy?
You gotta try and match their energy.
After the first okay, I would have leaned back in the chair, and given her a few seconds of silence.
Then point out her attitude in a disinterested way, like "you not in the mood for talking or something?"
This gives her the opportunity to say a 1 word answer, or open up.
If she opens up, have a real conversation. If she doesn't, then move on cuz she's in f off mode.
Gonzalo Enrique I see I’ll keep that in mind
3:39
When she says I love you how can I avoid saying it back without being to rude?
Just say I know.
@@compkiller1569 and if she says it again or asks if I love her
@@davidstensrud2575 ask her if youd rather you lie to her now or wait till its actually meaningful. If a girl gets psychotically mad at you for not expressing the emotion she wants you to express then you dont want to be with her, trust me
The Push Pull game makes us all Passive aggressive haha
This dude's example of "push/pull" is actually "negging." It's dickish, and is a major turnoff to most women I know, including me. I recommend following drnerdlove.
Indirect game is not giving your power
women love lies, but if you are not judgy about yourself, if you lie ,just playing, teasing, and don't, said I'm sorry, or sort like that ,they love them!
Give them nothing