How to overcome APPROACH ANXIETY: telling the truth under imaginary circumstances
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2023
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All men suffer from approach anxiety to some degree. This is because female rejection carries the unconscious threat of extinction. However, it is possible to overcome this anxiety -- though it generally requires actually approaching women. In this episode, I'll discuss how men can benefit from my acting experience and learn to tell the truth under imaginary circumstances. By manipulating the fantasies in your mind, you can learn to be confident in any situation.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #anxiety #dating
All men suffer from approach anxiety to some degree. This is because female rejection carries the unconscious threat of extinction. However, it is possible to overcome this anxiety -- though it generally requires actually approaching women. In this episode, I'll discuss how men can benefit from my acting experience and learn to tell the truth under imaginary circumstances. By manipulating the fantasies in your mind, you can learn to be confident in any situation.
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Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
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oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #anxiety #dating
Approaching women is a low value behavior. Stop misleading men
@@marcusmcgraw3519 How is going up to some chick to talk to her “low value”? Or of any “value” whatsoever. That’s just ridiculous. I’m not saying you should go hit on every woman you see but talking to strangers is not a cardinal sin. It’s just being social
@@pantsonfire2216 as soon as you approach her, she knows what your intent is. She automatically places herself above you in the interaction. It should be no surprise the vast majority of cold approaches result in rejection and shaming. Would you want a clingy girl bothering you in public as you’re minding your own business? No you wouldn’t
@@marcusmcgraw3519 if she smells weakness she will probably test you to filter you out just like you test a hobo to see if he wants money food for or for drugs lol. Jokes aside you need to understand context and how to be smooth about it. Opening up a conversation is a very normal thing. If the girl you are talking to has a bad disposition then move on. Plenty of other women will humor you.
That being said if you go approach Miami type girls who have their sights on ultra rich dudes then you’re fishing in the wrong lake.
I understand there are finer points to all this but hiding behind red pill cliches is cowardly as hell and no woman should never even lay eyes on a coward
STOP APPROACHING WOMEN!
It's simp behavior. We men need to collectively stop and allow women choose the men that best fit their personality preferences. Be yourselves and focus on your grind. You don't need to overcome it. Trust me, when women approach you, you'll feel much better. It's not like when you approach them. We've been lied to by the movies and media. Approaching women pedestalizes them. You're putting yourself on the line to be either rejected or accepted. That's a weak position. All for what???...A girl that has probably been fucked countless times by different men. Is it worth it?...is approaching her worth devaluing yourself all for the possibility of getting her number??...what if you get the number?? It means nothing. You'll still have to take her out, spend money on her and make her like you. If she chooses you, you don't have to do any of that. She's down for you and you begin the relationship with her from a kingly position cause she looks up to you. Women date up remember. So if she chooses you, you're her thrill. Something worth noting is that even if she gives you her number and you end up having sex, it's because she found you attractive either way. This does not negate the fact that you made a simp move at the beginning. Please we men have to come together to collectively make a stand against such behavior. I don't know about you all, but I'm not putting my self respect and dignity on the line for any woman. I value myself and I'm confident I the fact that I'll meet a girl that sees me as her king. There is no rush. Stop listening to all these tips on how to talk to women and how to overcome approach anxiety....you feel anxiety because you're trying to get something from the woman.
.don't you understand that a woman putting herself on the line for you is a big investment from her end? She will value you. Please STOP
You only believe you have to because you've been brainwashed. STOP.
A friend of mine says, I never get rejected. I only learn whether or not a woman has good taste.
Right on !
That's a good one! Needs to be on a T-Shirt
So if she’s receptive, she has poor taste? ;-) Seriously though, really great line!
STOP APPROACHING WOMEN!
It's simp behavior. We men need to collectively stop and allow women choose the men that best fit their personality preferences. Be yourselves and focus on your grind. You don't need to overcome it. Trust me, when women approach you, you'll feel much better. It's not like when you approach them. We've been lied to by the movies and media. Approaching women pedestalizes them. You're putting yourself on the line to be either rejected or accepted. That's a weak position. All for what???...A girl that has probably been fucked countless times by different men. Is it worth it?...is approaching her worth devaluing yourself all for the possibility of getting her number??...what if you get the number?? It means nothing. You'll still have to take her out, spend money on her and make her like you. If she chooses you, you don't have to do any of that. She's down for you and you begin the relationship with her from a kingly position cause she looks up to you. Women date up remember. So if she chooses you, you're her thrill. Something worth noting is that even if she gives you her number and you end up having sex, it's because she found you attractive either way. This does not negate the fact that you made a simp move at the beginning. Please we men have to come together to collectively make a stand against such behavior. I don't know about you all, but I'm not putting my self respect and dignity on the line for any woman. I value myself and I'm confident I the fact that I'll meet a girl that sees me as her king. There is no rush. Stop listening to all these tips on how to talk to women and how to overcome approach anxiety....you feel anxiety because you're trying to get something from the woman.
.don't you understand that a woman putting herself on the line for you is a big investment from her end? She will value you. Please STOP
You only believe you have to because you've been brainwashed. STOP.
The truth is that if you're the one approaching, you're the one applying for a job. Women are the ones supposed to approach for a number of reasons.
1. Men are compassionate and kind to women that approach, no matter her socio economic level. women aren't to men in a reversed scenario
2. Men hardly reject women, if ever
3. It makes more sense because women have an intuitive personality selection ability. They know the kind of man they can be with, while men usually accept women based on physical beauty. Hardly personality. Which leads you to keep shooting arrows in the dark, playing the numbers game. Having a life of quantity over quality.
4. approaching actually gives the woman an opportunity to meet a man she looks up to. It's very rare for the approached to look up to the approacher. Except the person is taller lol 😆 There might be mutual respect as there should be between humans, but that's that.
5. The man gets to feel like the man and she gets to make him feel that way from the beginning.
6. It's more accurate since women date up.
7. It makes sense for a woman that approached you to end up being the one cooking your meals, cleaning up your babies, sucking your dick and taking care of your home.
8. A woman approaching is a sure sign she's ready to serve and is 100% down for the man.
9. Women hardly make mistake when they say they like a guy. Men on the other hand do what women say they usually do "think with their balls".
10. Approaching is a sign of submission. Do you approach beggars or beggars approach you?...who ever approaches is the one that wants something. Have you seen superstars approaching women? If you have, please tell me who. The women are always invited over. They don't go to the women.
11. No one will be a creep if women were the ones approaching. Women term men they don't like that approach them as creeps. Men, on the other hand, don't term women asuch. So automatically that's the end of such name calling.
12. Men don't look up to women, women look up to men, and want a man they look up to. Imagine being rejected by a company you look up to and see as prestigious. You'd feel "oh well, looks like I have to gain more experience and credentials to work here so I can get a higher pay" you won't feel that bad. Then imagine being rejected by a company you looked down on and is even below your standards. A company that your expertise and experience level is enough to get you the position of the director. I think everyone will agree that the latter will hurt a whole lot more.
13 Men approaching women makes men incongruent
In order to appeal to them. An important thing women look for in men is congruence with the kind of lifestyle they live with who the man is. Women have really good incongruence scanning abilities. They can see through fakeness easily. And I've seen that first hand.
The more men adjust their personalities to fit into what they think women want the more their personalities become kinda diluted and fake which turns women off even more.
14. Cold Approaching women communicates that you value getting to know a woman over your own self respect and dignity. You give her the option to either accept you or turn you down. Just to get her number. Mind you, you don't even know the girl. She probably dated more than 3 than guys and has been fucked by even more guys. Yet she's still more valuable than you, that you'll approach her and put yourself on the line just for the hope that you'll get her number, possibly get a date (that you'll pay for), then after everything you'll take her home and give her orgasms. She wins in everything and has given nothing. If you look at it closely you'll realize you're only doing this because it's what is being heavily marketed to the world in movies and social media. It's a belief system. A mindset. You're communicating to her that she's the individual with more value. She chooses to go out with you but you pay for her. You're the one that puts yourself on the line to be rejected and possibly called a creep because you did what you were made to believe you're supposed to do if not, then you're not a man. It is a weak and submissive behavior and you'll never be the leader in the relationship.
The idea that we are living through our internal perception of the objective reality is a great point for living a proper life. We are already actors in a grand play, so write your script as best as you want it to be. My take from it.
The truth is that if you're the one approaching, you're the one applying for a job. Women are the ones supposed to approach for a number of reasons.
1. Men are compassionate and kind to women that approach, no matter her socio economic level. women aren't to men in a reversed scenario
2. Men hardly reject women, if ever
3. It makes more sense because women have an intuitive personality selection ability. They know the kind of man they can be with, while men usually accept women based on physical beauty. Hardly personality.
4. approaching actually gives the woman an opportunity to meet a man she looks up to. It's very rare for the approached to look up to the approacher. Except the person is taller lol 😆 There might be mutual respect as there should be between humans, but that's that.
5. The man gets to feel like the man and she gets to make him feel that way from the beginning.
6. It's more accurate since women date up.
7. It makes sense for a woman that approached you to end up being the one cooking your meals, cleaning up your babies, sucking your dick and taking care of your home.
8. A woman approaching is a sure sign she's ready to serve and is 100% down for the man.
9. Women hardly make mistake when they say they like a guy. Men on the other hand do what women say they usually do "think with their balls".
10. Approaching is a sign of submission. Do you approach beggars or beggars approach you?...who ever approaches is the one that wants something. Have you seen superstars approaching women? If you have, please tell me who. The women are always invited over. They don't go to the women.
11. No one will be a creep if women were the ones approaching. Women term men they don't like that approach them as creeps. Men, on the other hand, don't term women asuch. So automatically that's the end of such name calling.
12. Men don't look up to women, women look up to men, and want a man they look up to. Imagine being rejected by a company you look up to and see as prestigious. You'd feel "oh well, looks like I have to gain more experience and credentials to work here so I can get a higher pay" you won't feel that bad. Then imagine being rejected by a company you looked down on and is even below your standards. A company that your expertise and experience level is enough to get you the position of the director. I think everyone will agree that the latter will hurt a whole lot more.
13 Men approaching women makes men incongruent
In order to appeal to them. An important thing women look for in men is congruence with the kind of lifestyle they live with who the man is. Women have really good incongruence scanning abilities. They can see through fakeness easily. And I've seen that first hand.
The more men adjust their personalities to fit into what they think women want the more their personalities become kinda diluted and fake which turns women off even more.
14. Cold Approaching women communicates that you value getting to know a woman over your own self respect and dignity. You give her the option to either accept you or turn you down. Just to get her number. Mind you, you don't even know the girl. She probably dated more than 3 than guys and has been fucked by even more guys. Yet she's still more valuable than you, that you'll approach her and put yourself on the line just for the hope that you'll get her number, possibly get a date (that you'll pay for), then after everything you'll take her home and give her orgasms. She wins in everything and has given nothing. If you look at it closely you'll realize you're only doing this because it's what is being heavily marketed to the world in movies and social media. It's a belief system. A mindset. You're communicating to her that she's the individual with more value. She chooses to go out with you but you pay for her. You're the one that puts yourself on the line to be rejected and possibly called a creep because you did what you were made to believe you're supposed to do if not, then you're not a man. It is a weak and submissive behavior and you'll never be the leader in the relationship.
Life is theatre
@@onyekachidunu5904 Incredible collection you've documented over time (probably copying and pasting into a text or Word file, capturing the facts you've found over time, working smarter, instead of harder). Most men wouldn't bother to read through all this, "too much information", but I'm not most men! Understanding that whilst ignorance is "bliss" and "time is short", shoving my head into the sand like an ostrich, rushing through the comments section without focus or attention to detail, is irrational. Yet this world is full of sheep instead of leaders, because they fail to pay attention to what matters and choose a life of ease (and most don't even realise it, such is their ignorance, there are none so blind as those who will not see). Thank you so much for your efforts in amassing this collection, wishing you the very best with your female interactions, if you know what I mean!
If you have debilitating approach anxiety, it's probably because you fear rejection, criticism, judgement, or embarrassment. Easy way to overcome this fear is to start intentionally putting yourself in awkward situations where you feel these emotions. Do this over and over until your brain realizes that you aren't actually in real danger and everything will be okay. Don't kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part of you that cringes
There is a quote, I think from Alexander Lowen, _"Accept "fate", and fate will change"_
If you make peace with a so called "rejection" beforehand, then when you try,anyways, the pressure is off and you have a better chance of "yes"
STOP APPROACHING WOMEN!
It's simp behavior. We men need to collectively stop and allow women choose the men that best fit their personality preferences. Be yourselves and focus on your grind. You don't need to overcome it. Trust me, when women approach you, you'll feel much better. It's not like when you approach them. We've been lied to by the movies and media. Approaching women pedestalizes them. You're putting yourself on the line to be either rejected or accepted. That's a weak position. All for what???...A girl that has probably been fucked countless times by different men. Is it worth it?...is approaching her worth devaluing yourself all for the possibility of getting her number??...what if you get the number?? It means nothing. You'll still have to take her out, spend money on her and make her like you. If she chooses you, you don't have to do any of that. She's down for you and you begin the relationship with her from a kingly position cause she looks up to you. Women date up remember. So if she chooses you, you're her thrill. Something worth noting is that even if she gives you her number and you end up having sex, it's because she found you attractive either way. This does not negate the fact that you made a simp move at the beginning. Please we men have to come together to collectively make a stand against such behavior. I don't know about you all, but I'm not putting my self respect and dignity on the line for any woman. I value myself and I'm confident I the fact that I'll meet a girl that sees me as her king. There is no rush. Stop listening to all these tips on how to talk to women and how to overcome approach anxiety....you feel anxiety because you're trying to get something from the woman.
.don't you understand that a woman putting herself on the line for you is a big investment from her end? She will value you. Please STOP
You only believe you have to because you've been brainwashed. STOP.
I wish Orion reads this and sees the point. He can actually rally men to proper behavior. Not this simp stuff he's advocating. Teaching men how to overcome approach anxiety. Anxiety comes when you're doing the wrong thing. Men are more down to fuck and if she's approach a guy she likes cause she dates up, then even if she is rejected (which rarely happens) it's better than having a guy she sees as beneath her approach her.
Because women associate their SMV with the type of guys that approach them.
SMV: sexual market value
The girl is like " this guy had the guts to approach me?, I must be ugly🥲/ or I must be cute
When you approach women you either raise their perceived value or lower it.
Women want men that increase their value, or at least maintain it. Women date up, so they hardly go for men they perceive as equal to them.
When you approach them you're trying to see if she does. When she approaches you, you know she does. You don't have to second guess anything. You're her perceived king. She sees you as above her and her type. That's valuable to her.
You don't have to raise her interest or anything. She's down for you.
@@onyekachidunu5904 What is SMV? Sorry I don't know what SMV is.
Anxiety CAN come when you're doing the wrong thing. Anxiety CAN ALSO come when you're doing the _RIGHT_ thing. It is a fear of the unknown, --- unknown potential response, not knowing the person that you're asking or being asked by for that matter, fear of being misunderstood, fear of dashing your hopes, fear of humiliation / hurt ego, fear of false-accusations --- (If you were respectful and allowed her choice and aim for no harm for her or you, then there is no valid case against you), You cannot just run away from life and expect women to be the man in the potential new relationship. You be the man! You can be the one that gets her over the threshhold without being a simp. Becoming a wimp is not the solution to simp.
@@onyekachidunu5904
Convert from Simp to Wimp ? 🤣
I want to mention that it's refreshing having a well-educated, well-spoken content creator with real credentials and education here in The Manosphere. I've been in this space for over 4 years now, and content creators like you are pretty much unheard of here; glad you're here.
honestly reading by lots of comments and other replies, i doubt people realize how valuable his videos are.
and it is kinda depressing that literally 99% of comments in these videos miss his point entorely as it often goes way over their head despite his eloquency
almost makes me believe that most people struggling with relationship or lacking inter-personal skills are clearly somewhat st^pid or have serious communication issue(especially as recipient) lmao
@@btchiaintkidding7837exactly this
I recently had a 6 year relationship end. I'm realizing the fear I had as it was ending was not entirely about losing the relationship. Part of it has also been the abject fear of needing to approach women again. It was so relaxing to think I was done with that. lol
My wife of 18 years just asked for a divorce and you're right... the hardest part is about needing to approach women again.
The technique he described works very well.
In college, I had a piano professor that would always say “practice to perform”.
He would have us perform in front of our colleagues all while recreating the whole concert experience in our minds eye.
He would tell us to channel an emotional response to the imaginary audience, smell, temperature, and even the sound of the first note all before actually playing.
I can confirm that more often than not, my performance was more confident.
More importantly, it helped in nearly dissolving the anxiety before a huge recital.
By the end of the year, every recital was just “business as usual”.
Great content, Doc.
Approach anxiety seems like an insurmountable obstacle, but it is not. Men focus on the most beautiful woman in the room, idolize her and feel that a rejection by her would be the utmost catastrophe. I remember watching a girl at a dance one night for hours, trying to get up the courage to ask her to dance and failing to even approach her. I decided that I was wasting too much of my life by succumbing to my imaginary fears. I overcame Approach Anxiety by approaching women that didn't really interest me. I didn't care if they rejected me or not. I was indifferent. From this approach I realized three things: 1) Women are just as insecure and lonely as men, they are just better at hiding it. 2) Some of those women that didn't have the external attraction of the 'model' type had personalities that were far more interesting and engaging than the 'pretty faces'. 3) I learned that if one rejects me, there are always plenty of others that won't. As a practical result of this approach, I can tell this story...One night at a dance, I asked 10 women to dance and 8 of them rejected me. Number 11 caught my eye and accepted my invitation. We were married a few months later.
This strikes me as great advice
When I was in college, I had approach anxiety. What I did was made a pact with myself that at all social events/parties etc, I had to get turned down (rejected) by two women at each event. So I would obligate myself to approach enough women to get told "no" twice. Interestingly enough, I got some yes responses and ended up getting dates, and sometimes sex out of that plan, so it worked well for me.
Surely they laughed at you. Did you know it? I think no. You yourself turned them into judges so you become miserable.
@@rene-rv6pp No I didn't become miserable, not sure where you got that idea. Actually what I did is successfully got laid in college many times, which is what I wanted at the time, and successfully got to the point now as someone settled in my career, to approach women without anxiety in order to date the women I want, which I do now. Many men just complain about women, like you are doing and just stew in misery and have pathetic ideology. So regardless of what background noise (women who said no and laughed, who btw would date me today) it is a big win for me...and moving forward I know I will get what I want, not regret what could be, and not complain about what isn't or is.
@@JayLawson Well said, this black pill self-pity mentality is the reason they cannot get women, rather than any of their physical characteristics like "height". Btw if you don't mind, what are some of your opening lines?
@@rene-rv6pp If some one asked you for a dinner this weekend but you turned it down because your schedule is already full would you laugh at the person?
@@rene-rv6pp what? Weirdo
He touched on it briefly but it’s important for guys to not get caught in the cycle of NOT approaching when that’s exactly what you went out to do. It’s happened to me for too long and it becomes harder to break the more times you do this. You walk around and you approach no one. You make up every excuse in your mind why you shouldn’t approach that one, or that one, and so on. You develop the ultimate unhealthy pattern. Do not let this happen to you fellas. The very first one you see walk over within 3 seconds and JUST SAY SOMETHING. Ask for the time, ask for directions, pay a compliment, anything. The point here is not to have a successful close or anything really on the first few. It’s to get socially lubed up. I have to take my own advice more often. Because I know if I don’t do these warm ups immediately when out, and I really do mean from the start that you’re out somewhere, the entire day is going to be a wash.
Thank you for this advice. I’ve been going down into this exact spiral you’ve described and it only builds counterproductive habits that leads nowhere near my goal of approaching.
I personally find that the only way approach works you have to do it you have to do it on a regular basis because until you do it on a regular basis you're going to be nervous the girls going to pick up on it's going to dump you right away and then there's the problem of keeping the conversation going you have to make her interested in you there also could be a million other things that you don't just don't know about I heard a brush you off good news is for the most part they're not going to be rude they just go to dismiss you what you just piss you off numbers on cold calling another great to be honest and you could probably do really well getting telephone numbers but that's pretty useless unless the girl made a connection with you it basically becoming a vacuum cleaner salesman and a lot of you guys according to the Pew report 50% of guys will never even approach a girl and to be honest I don't blame you some people weren't cut out to be salesman
He did a video on this. The fear of not approaching became greater than the fear of approaching, thus to avoid the former, one does the latter.
@@aquadisiak9357great advice, had some trouble reading it.
There's the rub. Just say something? I simply cannot feign idiocy to ask anyone the time when I have a wristwatch. Even if I purposely left my watch at home I could not conscionably ask someone what time it is because it's just too lame a question. Ask for directions? To where? The nearest Starbux?? Really? Nope, can't do that either. People have iphones, so it's easy to search for any direction needed. So, then again, the question becomes just too pointless and embarrassing to ask, especially to an attractive female. Give them a compliment?? That's exactly what they are so sick and tired of!!! Being lathered with silly compliments by an interminable string of men who have an ulterior motive. But the main thing that bothers me about compliments to attractive females is that it only serves to place the woman on a pedestal, and the man below in supplication like a starving hound dog. Of course you see the pattern here: my finding good reason to resist every suggestion, and to overthink every course of action. I fully realize that my innate fears, resistance, and stubbornness only work to my own detriment, but I just see no way around these obstacles, and many more. Of course, at times I did psych myself up enough to give an approach a try, and of course those times were rejections. Coaches say well, you just need to do that like 700 times in one weekend! Unh-unh! Can't do that. That would be making an utter pest of myself, and I cannot bring myself to go that far against my inner grain of reserve and self-respect. Overcoming these things is a horrendous burden to face, and very likely will never be done.
The best cure is learning to notice “choosing signals”. It is vastly easier to approach women who are already showing interest. Than trying to generate interest in women who are indifferent or even hostile.
And how do you learn that skill?
@@dwdwone LOTS of social interaction (get out from behind the screens). Lots of videos about body language and game. Pay attention to your gut. Women move on emotion.
I usually get the stinky eye RBF look. So I don't approach. No desire to be screamed at and berated for cold approaching
@@Cee_Eff I used to do inside sales. Cold calling Whenever I was thrown out of a building, I would celebrate and share the experience with my fellow crew members.
Isn't it odd about context?
@kellygreenii - learning to notice "choosing signals" - sometimes yes; other times its like the lure on a fishing line, or the food in a mousetrap. Don't rely or necessarily trust "signals"
This one, I found easy with two simple ideas.
1) Until you dont need to, tell yourself first that the woman you are about to speak to is just for practice. She would never date you, your fears say. So go with it. There is nothing to lose if you cant win. Go for it. Revel in the fact that this doesnt matter. You cant lose. You can only gain actually. A lessening of fear through repetition, and practice.
2) Once you do this enough and nothing of consequence happens, its no longer frightening.
After graduating, i used the same trick at job interviews. I would tell myself "It's only practice to get the job I really want!" That trick worked very well for me at job interviews and dating!
Yaa treat it like a game
So it's like getting over any other fear 😂
I used to have a fear of meeting new people in general. Then I joined a sport league that hit me with not only the fear of meeting new people, but also of performing in front of new people. A few years of that cured me for good.
But I still constantly sensed that same fear in people I meet, so I now work on breaking through that and making them feel comfortable. It's really cool, with most people all it takes is one side making the effort to break through and they really seem to shine, relax, and have a really good time when that wall comes down. I make lots of friends that way!
Is not natural to make all this effort its not worth either. Why should you take allthis stress? You ate going to get ulcers or age prematurely. You will get some mental or physical issue
@@rene-rv6pp Lol, not worth it to develop oneself to be the best one can be? That's what life is all about, otherwise you are living a shallow existence. In my opinion of course, you do you.
Damn bro. You be day trading or what?
@@rene-rv6ppThat's why you must stay as calm and relax as possible when doing this
@rene-rv6pp, Are you trolling, or you really so self deluded that you believe these deeply negative comments that you keep replying with?
He's not kidding, it works. Go where nobody knows you, stack up rejections with your chin up. Understanding it's part of the game will even make some rejections flip before your eyes.
Also, you will run into some beginner's luck way before you think you've improved.
Im still 10 to 30% nervous, but it's somehow become fun.
Courage will expand your life. Not my words!!!
Go overseas😂
@@zanekoh3473I did go to a different country. But after few years of living I started to feel like my home country and no longer feel that I am a foreigner and fear came back in 😂
what about just approaching any random stranger for directions? not effective enough? i have social anxiety and i started doing that at my local park.
The best way to find your partner is to work on enlarging friendship circles and then pick from friend's friends. This doesn't just make approach easier, but the women/men you will be approaching are also more likely to be normal and have things in common with you.
I've been trying to do that for years until I found out that I was dealing with hypocrites.
Friend circle game is obsolete. It used to work back when the person you are trying to get didn't have access to better options around the world
@@keyhimself3542I disagree
Bold of you to assume we have friends
@keyhimself3542 In my case it was a case of " we only do couples things"... "talk to the other friends" ... " we don't want you to be the odd man out at the couples dinner"... " we don't want to have any backlash/take blame/xxx if we introduce you to someone "... " talk to the "other friends"" ( who are a bunch of guys who know a bunch of guys").
The funny thing is that those same hypocrites would start with " you meet people through friends...only an idiot would try to meet at bars online etc." .
I haven't talked to that group in over 20 yrs after I called them out on thier hypocracy
I just married my man after being together 13 years. We are in our mid 60's and it wasn't good for us financially to get married until I left the VA. I have everything I want with this man. He is the only man who literally makes me weak in the knees with just a hug. We enhance each other, respect, appreciate and like each other. I have told him we are not the norm because of my knowledge of relationships and psychology. We have excellent communication. In the beginning of our relationship we discussed the boundaries of disagreements/arguments. We both understand how differences in opinions are just part of being individuals and agree to disagree. Our core values are in sync. I am truly blessed.
God how I long to be in a relationship like yours with a woman. I hope I can find something like that with a girl soon enough.
@@franciscoferraz6788I hope you do
Having a 'neutral' frame of mind is possibly one of the keys to happiness, and something I learned from meditation. Instead of internally narrating everything, it's liberating to simply observe the outside world. A pretty girl is simply a pretty girl, not some weird amalgamation of past disappointments.
The problem of searching for emotionally disproving experiences - in modern dating climate you are more likely to get emotionally proving experiences than disproving ones, if you are unattractive enough.
That's always the thing that's downplayed or conveniently left out in these kinds of dating advice videos. "Attractiveness" is only ascribed to things like income, meanwhile things like height, face, & hair have much more of an impact.
Especially when you're doing this cold approach nonsense.
This might have been the best advise I've heard regarding approach anxiety. A lot of people will give stupid advises but this was really good. This advise can be used in other areas in your life also.
*advice, my friend
Yes it's advice
How to destroy approach anxiety. This will work and goes as follows:
When you fall asleep at night at the juncture between wakefulness and sleep. Affirm to yourself that you are comfortable with approaching women visualise the scenario described in the vid above. Visualise in a place that you are going to socialise work out every possible scenario you will encounter like rejection, acceptance, talking to a group of women etc.
Repeat this in the morning at the juncture when you are drowsy and waking slowly. Use the transition period to affirm your confidence with girls. The beautiful thing is at that point anything you affirm will be accepted because the concious mind has not woken yet so there will be no conflicting thoughts.
You'll have done this so many times when you actually go to the venus you will be confident and you can then act out your visualisation in reality.
Also watch what you say never doubt your ability.
This stuff works for everything. Iused to hate gardening so I affirmed I like gardening and just right out of the blue at any time I will get urges to mow the lawn. It's powerful stuff.
If you do not believe that affirmation, I don't think the subconscious will accept the idea. Rather, the unconscious mind is generally impressed by action, repeated action.
Exactly! You’re spot on with this.
You are describing a lot of the work of James Allen, Neville Goddard, Maxwell Maltz, The Kybalion etc - good advice
Hard to believe it works without taking any actions in the real world.
@@dwdwone read what I wrote. The concious mind can't even register an objection. It's a state where its actually very hard to remember. You can say anything to yourself at that ;level of awareness. Try it out for a week. It's a game changer.
I've been watching you for 6 months, every video is great, but this is mind blowing. Not only you skillfully connect your expertise from different areas, but you also showed me a valid technique AND you showed me that I've been already using it but with the wrong input! Pure gold! Thank you Doctor :)
This was actually mindblowing. I'm so glad to have found this channel
676 approaches in 2 day? Are we sure about this? Did he sleep? Was it the same women multiple times?
These approaches aren’t for the sole purpose of scoring. It’s about numbing rejection to the point it’s non-existent in yourself. By the time you’ve numbed it down and it becomes easy, you will have also learned many skills in terms of approaching women and making yourself more comfortable with tight circumstances. It’s a win win overall.
No wonder he was getting constantly rejected. Doing that many is like standing on a busy street corner and saying hi to everyone and trying to shake their hand. There’s no sincerity in it.
That's 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday at the rate of over 28 an hour, sounds a bit far-fetched to me as well!!!
@@PaddyDoesasia-bj3bbif you count Friday evening...
3 days bro, the weekend starts Friday evening, totally doable at least here in NYC or my second home Miami FL where so many women walk around everywhere, Lest say I get out from work at 4 pm That means 12 hours to 4 am at a club, same thing Sat yet you adding the fact that you’re off, so you wake up and go to the beach in Coney Island at 12 noon and end up at a bar again until 4 am, that’s 16 hours, next day Sunday wake up be at the beach again at 12 noon to 8pm because you gotta wake up next day Monday to work. Total is 36 hours of hollering, that’s 18 women every hour or 9 girls every 30 minutes, I’m sure everyone of us had a weekend like that partying.
Since approach anxiety comes from the Evolutionary threat of extinction it could also mean that a lot of men nowadays have approach anxiety because they fear their life and resources will be wasted and that will hurt their chances of living life and surviving mentally and physically.
Women empowered give us a big headache
STOP APPROACHING WOMEN!
It's simp behavior. We men need to collectively stop and allow women choose the men that best fit their personality preferences. Be yourselves and focus on your grind. You don't need to overcome it. Trust me, when women approach you, you'll feel much better. It's not like when you approach them. We've been lied to by the movies and media. Approaching women pedestalizes them. You're putting yourself on the line to be either rejected or accepted. That's a weak position. All for what???...A girl that has probably been fucked countless times by different men. Is it worth it?...is approaching her worth devaluing yourself all for the possibility of getting her number??...what if you get the number?? It means nothing. You'll still have to take her out, spend money on her and make her like you. If she chooses you, you don't have to do any of that. She's down for you and you begin the relationship with her from a kingly position cause she looks up to you. Women date up remember. So if she chooses you, you're her thrill. Something worth noting is that even if she gives you her number and you end up having sex, it's because she found you attractive either way. This does not negate the fact that you made a simp move at the beginning. Please we men have to come together to collectively make a stand against such behavior. I don't know about you all, but I'm not putting my self respect and dignity on the line for any woman. I value myself and I'm confident I the fact that I'll meet a girl that sees me as her king. There is no rush. Stop listening to all these tips on how to talk to women and how to overcome approach anxiety....you feel anxiety because you're trying to get something from the woman.
.don't you understand that a woman putting herself on the line for you is a big investment from her end? She will value you. Please STOP
You only believe you have to because you've been brainwashed. STOP. All men need to know this.
Approach anxiety comes because you're doing something against your nature as a man.
Women were made from the ribs of a man. In the hierarchy, men are first after God because we were made in his image. Women come after us.
You don't put yourself in a position for the women to accept or reject you. It's submission. You do t submit to a weaker vessel all for some ass. Bro value yourself
I wish Orion reads this and sees the point. He can actually rally men to proper behavior. Not this simp stuff he's advocating. Teaching men how to overcome approach anxiety. Anxiety comes when you're doing the wrong thing. Men are more down to fuck and if she's approach a guy she likes cause she dates up, then even if she is rejected (which rarely happens) it's better than having a guy she sees as beneath her approach her.
Because women associate their SMV with the type of guys that approach them.
@@onyekachidunu5904 Very good point you made! True.
If I tipped you in proportion to the value I received I'd be dead broke, you've helped me think through so many obstacles 👍
I really wish you would have been able to have a convo with alan roger currie before he passed away last year. I think you two would have had a great time. This vid is excellent. Thanks for helping the nervous young guys out!
Oh my God. This is so true. I’ve watched so many channels and nothing. It doesn’t help that I’m a devoted CS student.
This is so absolutely valuable. I'm going through this right now and I can't wait to be on the other side. To be honest, I'm not there yet but I'm definitely taking the action.
I'm in a program of action for another reason, but it teaches us the same thing that you're saying. It's all about action.
So accurate! I was precisely thinking a few days ago about how approach anxiety (like most types of anxiety) comes from the idea we have about how the scene is gonna play out.
As you say in the video we all know the mechanism of remembering a memory or imagining something before acting, only we use it in a negative way.
I think we do that because most of us now identify with the negative ideas ("I'll be nervous", "I'm too shy to approach", "It's not for me"); so much so that renouncing those beliefs feels like renouncing ourselves.
It's almost as if being more positive and changing our image of ourselves would be betraying our "true nature" ( being shy, lacking confidence).
The key is realising that what we consider our true nature wasn't even that in the first place but only some personality traits we acquired due to external things we went through and that it may change without affecting our "identity".
I really enjoy your content, it helps me find answers.
Hopefully, my comment is decently understandable: English isn't my first language.
Keep it up, I'll be following your new videos
Your command of the English language is perfect.
this is the best advice i've ever heard for handline approach anxiety
Hey, TWO other important tips that I personally used to reduce the "load" on my mind while doing the approach anxiety massive action:
- instead of standing in a spot and "picking" women to approach from there, pick a thing to do, like go buy some ice cream from that spot over there. On the way, approach, or in the queue, approach, or talk to the lady that sells the ice cream, etc., once you're finished, go over to that small bridge to take delight in the view of the river for a couple minutes, on the way approach, and so and so on, keep doing things, taking a bus or a train. This will also give you a habit of talking to women on the way while u're doing stuff, which is essentially what you're after right
- instead of talking just to attractive women, talk to everybody, especially at the beginning. You need to be in social mood and you probably haven't spoken with new people today, and your conversations with people you knew were limited to work. So talk to everybody - the old fella at the bench in the city square, the shop clerk, the teenager kids blasting music you're familiar with on the speaker, etc. and just when you happen to talk with an attractive woman, escalate things further. This strategy made the whole experience much more pleasant and honest, I stopped being a pickup artist or a weirdo anymore, I was just a social person enjoying my day, becoming a social butterfly every minute. AKA "talk to everyone"
This was my path and experience too. It actually becomes an enriching experience being able to talk to anyone and this is coming from an introvert. Plus it makes you great at networking. Then when you need to approach it's incredibly easy.
TRUE GOLDEN!
So you will end up with the less desirable
@profet1385 - You really ARE a prophet ! Stellar advice lad! Don't forget to talk to your crush in the process though. Worst thing to experience (social psych stats back it up) is that you talk to anyone and everyone _but her._ That's like severe punishment. Be sociable indeed, with everyone, but definitely include her too. and escalation not to extreme, just enough to get her phone # or e-mail
I think there is a lot to be said for the "charisma effect" being helpful for men. If you are not a naturally extroverted man (which I'm not), it takes practice to get comfortable interacting with strangers in public. While, I've not made a habit of it because it is emotionally draining, I have experimented with days where I try to make an effort to smile and greet most of the strangers I come into contact with during the day. I did notice that on those days where I was emitting some moderate amount of charisma that I would get more glances from women in public which I never get when I'm behaving like my natural introverted self.
This was rather fascinating. Incredible. I've heard about this technique from others. While they may have delivered the message in a different manner, the message remains the same. Visualization is key.
Thank you for this informative video! Definitely will be implementing this advice with every interaction.
I studied psychology and the dynamics of relationships in the 80's. When I went to a club (girls night out) if I saw a man who I wanted to meet I would find a way to give him a sincere compliment and would head to the ladies room and pause next to the guy and give him the compliment, smile and continue on to the ladies room. I figured that if he was interested I put out the welcome mat. Since I was in the Navy in the 70's and 80's I was comfortable talking with men, had many a good Male friend and they told me about lots of things in reference to relationships.
Good tip!
Wow. I am impressed how correct is always your approach. really nice content!
At this point in life I'm a couple weeks shy of 70 years old, and have no desire to be in a relationship. At the same time, I live in the Philippines where meeting women is extremely easy. So along with the fact that I have no desire to have what they might offer, if I did, there would be no difficulty attaining it, I have overcome any anxiety about approaching women. Also age has balanced the equation in knowing the temporal nature of attractiveness is fleeting.
I'm glad you had such a mind as living to 70 was conducive for you, however, not all share your abilities. Some of us can't get the real thing we want (love and intimacy) because it genuinely doesn't exist, if you got anything it would be sexual, whereas other people are looking to make a mutual connection with someone on the deepest levels possible, someone they can integrate themselves with. We should be allowed a painless way out, legalize euthenasia.
I’m
39 and I avoid relationships but dating casually is still fine
Whenever I have some sort of an axiety, i think about myself as an main character in the movie. For example: i failed an exam - its a good story of overcoming obstacles. When I want to stand up with something/to someone: what would I do if I was an brave character worth watching. I am struggling - Rocky was also trainging hard to win his fights. It works for me very well. The best thing about that story is that you can fail many times but you have a scenario in your hands which might end good.
Yeah I think about my struggles as future stories
I appreciate this advice mister. Thabk you.
Maybe they are apprehensive because they've seen shows like Barbie and Velma which show you what women actually think.
Just want to say I love the thumbnails!
Awesome. So true. Thank you.
Great advice
Makes me want to go into acting as a hobby
Looking forward to this as approach anxiety has been my issue since my youth. There is a little watched UA-camr called the Bishop and the Knight that harps on this point. Any dating coach worth his salt will tell you it will take hundreds of contacts and with very little return. The average man's success rate will be under 5% and that's after getting to the point of overcoming your anxiety.
correct with the syccess rate, so start treating the approaches and conversations themselves as success in of themselves. Just talking with people everyday on the way to work, shop, bakery, train, etc. learn the satisfaction from doing it and the success with women will be a cherry on top, she;ll sense that too
If you view every social interaction as a transaction, then it will not be in enjoyable
You should get over it quickly and join the rest of us waiting at "are any of these women even worth approaching anymore?" Once your self-confidence stabilizes, the options you previously aimed for start to look pretty sketchy.
TBH, I'm kinda black pilled. 5'2" and a solid 3 on a good day. So to me, the emotional stress is just not worth it.
@@maelstrom2313agreed, approaching women is a low value behavior. Getting approached by women is a high value behavior. And rejecting women, playing with them, or stringing them along is also high value behavior
Another thing I have learned about approach anxiety is to truly focus fully on the person you’re talking to and to be completely outside yourself and focused on them. If you’re too busy focusing on them you wont be caring about the feelings going on inside of you.
Nice recomendation. I will put it on work.
I was extremely shy as a child, teen and young adult.
As a young adult, with low self esteem and little self confidence with women, I was feeling as though I was going through a nervous breakdown because of my isolation and loneliness. I knew I had to take action.
I went out to bars and clubs. It took weeks and months to build up my courage. After a while, small embarrassing encounters took place. My confidence grew over time and the trepidation disappeared. That process gave me the confidence to approach women, get rejected and move on to the next one. I ended up having some great escapades and adventures. It's great fun, but you have to go through the insecurity & pain to bring out and expose your personality to the world!
That story about that guy’s weekend would make a good movie
I don't know. It would probably give most men in the audience dating PTSD flashbacks.
I watched a video years ago ; as I was “ dating “ for the first time at age 51 . I was married in 1978 as an 18 year old - divorced at 51 . SO , the video suggested that I talk to strange women EVERY chance the opportunity came . Walking into Walmart , and a middle aged woman is walking out in high heels . “ excuse me , you look lovely in those black pumps “ ( the woman wasn’t expecting that , and I specifically said what style shoes she had on to practice confidence - 99% I got a “ thank you “ . THEN JUST WALK AWAY . Take that trick over and over ; SOMEDAY
“she “ will start up a conversation , or you eventually will , when the time is right . Doesn’t have to lead to a phone number or date - but sometimes IT CERTAINLY WILL peace ☮️
you need more views, really great content
You and your show is awesome!
This was terrific advice!
day after day i see her at the gym our eyes lock and I still fail to go up to her and just have a convo. I've never felt so worthless in my life. today it actually made me cry like a b****
I reframed approach anxiety as saving characteristic. It caused me years of frustration not being able to control the world of dating to my satisfaction.
But now I see that it saved my skin, emotionally and financially.
All my friends, almost to a man, have gone through the wringer, lost families and businesses and are hamstrung financially.
Why?
Because they learned to approach women who were total strangers and convince them to get into sexual relationships.
Maybe it's nature's way to warn us.
Cope
@@floww2953 Enjoy the wringer.
Wow, u really understand me
Really well
U understand anxiety very well
Thank you so much ❤
My theory on approach anxiety, is that it happens because you don’t really have a specific objective that you want out of the interaction, so you end up essentially talking rubbish and annoying someone by entering their personal space and taking up their time.
If you had a specific objective, then it would be easier to accomplish.
This is just my theory though.
8:04 " whatever you need to think to provoke that emotional response is nobody's f*cking business. "
There's gold in this video.
The reason why a good 98% of men have anxiety issues when approaching women is called negative feedback. Try to play a game that you initially thought you may like, just to find out that you lose on average 9 times out of 10. I can guarantee that after a while you will be thinking "screw this game". The anxiety comes from trying to force your brain to do something it doesn't want to do. Confidence comes from positive reinforcement, not the other way around. With that said, you won't get confidence from repeated failure, but you'll get resilience, if that's what you're after. Resilience won't make you better at seducing women though. From what I have observed through 20+ years, confident individuals are naturally successful in what they do, and they are since early teens. Typically they are confident because they live in "easy mode". Just my 2 cents.
This is not true. I have been approached by women first my entire life and I have been told I look good all the time and that doesn’t make approaching women any easier. Literally walking up to a stranger and striking up a convo is not something people are going to be natural comfortable with unless they do exactly that. It’s noway around this
@@oldirtydick472that may be a fair point, if they approach you doesn't necessarily make you good at approaching them. My point is, I know guys who regularly approach women but are not the charming and confident character you would imagine. They're just used to rejection but they have no real benefit from it, they're still only playing a numbers game. My point is, emotional indifference does not dramatically increase your success with women, and taking it too far may be seen as lack of self respect and shallowness.
@@edwardyoutube ok fair enough
You're right but that was not what the topic was about
Very very good advice.
I guess this is true. But... lately there is one thing. It could be the age. But it might not be the age, my sex drive is good.
However, I don't find a relationship compelling enough to approach women.
I've been with good girls, bad girls, but these days it seems that everyone seems to overload relationships with so much unecessary items. And I've gave up. I'm building a ship, as some would say. For who? I don't know, but at least it's getting bigger.
Wait? What? 676 women in a weekend? Considering 2*10 hour days, that is 33 women an hour. That is cap. I don’t even know a location where you could do this except a Taylor Swift concert.
Maybe he approached them by passing them by... who knows
Just based on time obviously this is not possible unless it’s 1 woman every 1 minute and a half
Depends on what you consider weekend, mines starts on Friday after work and here in NYC and Miami you just stand outside after work and the pile of women walking matches that number
@@frankv7068 half of people don’t live in mega cities but I do agree this is somewhat doable in NY and Miami
Can you please explain how this guy did 676 approaches in a weekend? It takes most men around 6 months to get in those reps if they are REALLY committed.
What qualifies as an “approach” here?
Hey Orion, I love your videos and the thumbnails are really good. Do you design them yourself? What with?
Right, because we are all good actors...even actors look great because of the lines in the script + directing and editing.
This works, literally do this myself everytime i hsve a situation to deal with
2:31 that almost mimic the stages of grief.
Thank you! 💛
I have watched several of your videos. I think there is some good information (although I don't agree with the transactional viewpoint for women from outside of the golden state) and have tipped you. I valued this episode as a trained actor myself, more for an insight I received about acting and living through moment under imaginary circumstances, and for its use for business circumstances. Btw, you may want to look into biorhythms and astrological synastry in assessing attraction and compatibility. There is a lot to it, and this, ironically, is coming from someone with a PhD in economics.
I have been talking acting and improv classes. I have found it to be very helpful
Practiaing situations in your imagination is a very valid way to build the nueral pathways for that situation.
Our brain doesn’t really know the difference.
Thats why similators exist. Thats why proffensional atheles run the race in their minds.
Thats why actors rehearse.
For example… What do i say and do in this or that situation : im(improv class 👍)
Obviously I can’t say if only mental preparation would work, but I do know it is a valid method to practise a situation to the point of it being muscle memory
Shout out to you,
🤝
“No” is just information I like that
I fixed my approach anxiety in 2006, at an airport in LA, I approached Joy, (I have her card somewhere), a beautiful woman wearing a short black leather skirt and long black boots, curly blonde hair, WAAAY out of my league.....and thought to myself, there is no way I could ever approach her unless I was drunk off my ass. Now, I had quit drinking a year before, but I still remember how cocky and arrogant I could be when completely loaded. SO, I thought to myself, how would I feel if I were drunk? And JUST LIKE THAT, I stopped talking with my brother (he was in the middle of a sentence) and I walked on over there like I knew who she was, and just said Hi. And kept talking to her, and talking, and she said, "Look at you!", and she engaged back in conversation. Ever since then, I have NO problem talking to women..
sounds like a spiritual journey!
My problem with approach anxiety goes quite deep. For me, it's actually a fear tyat a woman wpukd be so repulsed she'd, say, slap me or kick me, largely because my first partner was abusive so that fear of rejection is compounded by fear of violence and fear of intimacy in general, it feels like a very frightening thing.
Now take that bemused detachment / outcome indifference and apply that INSTEAD of approaching women. Smell nice, look intriguing (non wallpaper), sit somewhere with a book and let them approach you. They can’t stand a handsome guy just living his life; they feel like it’s ignoring them. The trick is, once you’ve been rejected millions of times, it becomes a fun game that you no longer need to play. It’s not out of laziness or fear of rejection at that point. You’re literally just reading a book. In my experience, that genuine presence becomes irresistible to the right woman; one that telegraphs that’s she’s intrigued.
In my experience, it works very good as an invisibility cloak.
It's a nice idea in theory but only applies to handsome men, who are much more likely to have women hit on them in any given situation anyway. It's not going to work for the great majority of average-looking men. How many attractive women have approached or 'telegraphed' interest to you while you're reading a book and looking intriguing if I may ask?
Best way to reduce approach anxiety is to improve your habits behind the scenes. Eat super clean , exercise, stop masturbating, good to bed early, dress well, don’t do drugs, groom well.
But that also shapes you into an incredibly boring character.
i have read about the no masturbating thing and i did it for years excessively since i was 13 now 27, im at 116 days now and it seems like it only amplified my social anxiety and lack of confidence, tips?
Excellent use of Meisner here.
I always approach women ! It’s been years, thanks to me approaching this stranger on the bus back in 08, I have a daughter that I love more than anyone. I have been approaching since I was 8 😅 I loved girls, and through adulthood it made me sleep with soooo many I lost count
😢😢😢😢😢 and you have a daughter😮😢
It isn't the anxiety of approaching women, nowadays is the potential complications of the interaction...
Women can cause dramatic scenes out of nothing; if this situation happens close to work, home, gym, etc.. you could be in a world of pain because women can and will spread rumors about you; etc..
Men can lose respect, hurt their reputation, etc.. just with a "supposedly simple interaction".
Thanks!
Seriously though, what about the legal ramifications of cold approaching these days? The social climate towards this is vastly different from even just 5 years ago.
Have respect and care in your heart, just be sociable and flexible. Be upfront and honest, and respect her choice and freedom...don't cause her to feel insecure or pressured. There is nothing against you
@@mtlicq but a woman can simply decide how insecure and pressured you make her feel based on her initial attraction to you. And how far she wants to take that is entirely up to her.
Woow, amazing video
I am unable to understand how it’s possible to approach 676 women in a weekend 😢
I think it is profoundly unfair that men, and only men, must go through all this anxiety, while women do nothing whatsoever. Who chose women to be the center of the universe, whereas us men are the ones who must chase and do everything?
Exactly what I’ve been saying. Why should men cater to women when these women are worthless and would never do the same for a man? Men have created this crisis by simping far too much
You don't have to. Take it from a guy who was always good with women -- the only thing you actually want from them can be obtained cheaper and easier from a professional. The instinct that says you have to have one of your own is WRONG -- just like the instinct that tells you to run around screaming when you're on fire, when we all know you should stop, drop, and roll.
Have you considered that it is a privilege to be able to choose who you want to date? Most women can only date the men who approach them and those guys may not be good for them. Average and ugly girls may not be approached at all. Once women reach middle age the attention and approaches drops dramatically. Women can’t approach men directly without being seen as desperate or slutty so the most they can do is give choosing signals and hope that the man they wants reciprocates. It’s apex fallacy to assume that most women have tons of great dating options; they don’t.
A man, by contrast, can choose who he dates and can approach as many women as he wants. Yeah, getting rejected sucks and it’s hard getting over approach anxiety. I have a lot of personal experience with both. But once you get over that, there’s nothing stopping you from only approaching only the most desirable women. Women don’t really have that option. All they can do is hope that they are selected.
@@James-pl5uc Nothing stopping you from headbutting a stone wall over and over again. Me, I decided not to do that. Anyway, there are tradeoffs - women's dating options in their middle age resemble men's dating options in their youth. Limited.
@@whenpigsfly8178 Your analogy doesn’t work. Head butting a stonewall doesn’t lead to anything whereas if you meet enough women eventually you’ll find one where there’s mutual attraction. Whether you want to undergo the effort to find a woman where there’s mutual attraction is a separate issue.
Anyway, both women and men have advantages and disadvantages in dating. In addition that what I wrote earlier, there’s more things men can do be attractive than woman can. Men can improve their looks, increase their income and build their status. The only thing women can do is improve their looks. From 30-35 until death, dating is better for men, so about 45-50 years. Dating is only good for women from 13-35, so about 22 years. Men can have children until they are dead. Women only have until 35-40. A man who is single and childless is immature while something is wrong with a woman who is single and childless. A single dad is mature and responsible while a single mom is irresponsible. A man with children by multiple women is sexually successful and a woman with children by multiple men is a whore.
That’s quite a few advantages. So many men think about the advantages they don’t have and ignore the ones that they do.
To say that you must practice a lot is much worse than saying nothing at all because unless one practices correctly, practicing makes you even better at failure than you previously were. Regardless, no matter how confident and elated one feels about approaching the salient factor is if women want to date you. The main reason for approach anxiety likely initiated from rejection upon approach. The main reason women reject upon approach is they find you unattractive and consequently, will never date you. As a male nurse women not only approach me all the time but literally attack me and proposition me all the time. All different ages and races and status. And if I'm not attracted to them, no matter what their personality, im not interested. Attractive women have even more opportunity and are much more selective. So, for some actually useful advice, make yourself more physically attractive. Whether the gym, diet or cosmetic enhancement. invest in yourself and see how women's receptiveness explodes.
Great video, incredible expert, but i think for most people a better aproach would be to aproach woman frequently, everyday and on day-to-day situations and contexts, to build the habit, going into this weekend test sounds strong but its a difficult step to start by
You can get over approach anxiety but it's temporary - it's like training a muscle - you can make it strong but you need to keep working out to maintain its strength
In that example, with the guy who approached non stop for 48 hours, Probably he then started having some results and positive feedback then he felt "free at last". But It doesn't last. If you stop doing it, even for a week, then the fear of rejection is again present and again you don't feel indifferent. And you need another day or so to recuperate...
TylerRSD definitely inspired this guy
In 2017 I promised myself I would approach 500 girls by the end of my 20s. I approached 780 by 2019. It’s difficult at first but then it gets way easier, I had a lot of success with women because of this.
A man that's truly interested will not care one bit and will be up for the challenge. Thanks.
One thing most people who make these videos don’t realize, the fear isn’t rejection, the fear is doing it. Many people can walk away awkward af after a rejection, its building up the courage to actually approach is the tough part. And no video ever will teach how it’s done.
As a woman i love the comments. It helps know mans true intentions.
@psychacks I'm new to the channel & wasn't aware you were an actor, sounds like you studied the Meisner technique, right?
If yes, it'd be great to see some videos of you analyzing the technique from a mental health perspective, how actors can protect their mental health during the process of getting into & out of character 🙏
it's not just about overcoming the fear. You have to actually get excited about approaching as if it's a game. otherwise, you would hesitate when the opportune moment comes and eventually miss the window to approach entirely. There is a socially acceptable window of time to approach a woman when you both noticed each other. Approaching after this window would appear creepy as if you have some kind of agenda. "Not fearing" is a league behind "getting excited about" something. You need to be in the latter state in order to take effective action.
@allenlin7333 - I found YOUR fear ! Hahh! _"would appear creepy as if you have some kind of agenda"_ You still have a fear of _"appearing creepy"_ that even _"getting excited about"_ did not squash. I "approached" after the supposed "socially acceptable window of opportunity" and she and I have been going strong for many years already.
spot on
This gave me anxiety. Because I know what must be done. But I’m boring and never have anything to say
Bro has studied Meisner. Great tips, sir!
Approach women for what ??? They’re the ones that benefits the most out of relationships. What do men get out of the deal ??
I think the big thing with this is that there's no way to practice without actually doing it. With most other things you can practice in private without being shamed, mocked, lambasted, rejected, etc. I see attractive women pretty regularly while im out and about but i never see guys approaching them. Even the ones by themselves. And every time I've heard women talk about guys that tried to approach them, they always have something negative to say about him. That he was "creepy, weird, etc."
I'm an actor from the Bay Area and I went to MTS in SF so this advice hit different. I'm curious did you study the Meisner Technique?
Thanks
Hi Dr. Orion, can you make a follow up for people who has actually experienced messy rejections? I mean, some people reject gracefully, some people reject indifferently, but there are some who are just assholes. Getting rejected is fair play, getting humiliated is assault. It is part of the game but it's not exactly at an intensity and doesn't really happen often enough for most men to recover naturally and learn to handle.