@@bosschedda_ A lot of times it comes down to pride. Nobody wants to admit that they made a mistake, and say that they miss their ex. I think people that say an ex comes back 2-4 months on average are wrong. I rarely see it happen that way. That's the best case scenario.
@@thelegionary07 it all depends on the couple. My ex and I have been split for 6 months now. Lots of ups and downs. I think NC for the remainder of the year will help us come back.
@@cng1604 That is correct. Even though this relationship is utterly destructive, I don't seem to have the power to walk away. I start to believe that I might have attachment trauma from childhood.
@@EyupAvc if that is the case you tell yourself that you are an adult that can look after yourself! You're inner child must listen to your adult self and you can continue moving forward. You'll get there!
I'll say for certain that if you dated this person a year or more, they are definitely still thinking about you A LOT! Think of the random people you've thought of just today that you haven't seen in years. The human brain just doesn't work to forget. Rebounds are actually a good thing and if you maintain a low profile I can assure you they will be thinking about you even more. In most cases the dumper is fighting to stay strong because they are the ones who are having to live with such a decision.
Derek James true. I saw my ex post on Facebook that "despite life challenges you have to stay easy....and bold". Im 3 weeks of no contact and she is beginning to feel the heat. Igues no contact works.
@@engineerpeter3586 it's been 2 months of no contact and she's hanging out with her male friends and posting Happy pictures on social media. I'm dead!!
I would argue that short term relationships are just as bad or worst. I got dumped by a girl because she was foolish to be dating at a time in her life when she was bombarded with full-time school and work..but we never once argued, and I do not regret any minute I spent with her.. the pain of knowing we could have made so many more amazing memories, and all of that vanishing instantly is insane. But it's been almost 2 months of NC but I still dont know what to even feel anymore. Just trying to focus on myself.. if she reaches out I won't respond.
@@gasscooterdude I actually am in a similar boat now. Girl I was seeing for a couple months totally turned away from me. Really sucks because I miss her more than I did the one I was with for 3 years. Coming up on 1 month NC.
I like how respectful is this man is towards us 😊 he never makes fun of us dumpees, never play with our anxiety and sounds very empathetic 😊🤗 best coach.
Go on with your life as if you know they will never come back. No contact is torture if you believe they will come back, most of the time they don't. And if they do, you might have decided by then that they're not right for you anyways. Life is too short to hold onto heartbreak. Find someone that loves you for who you are. I'm 3 weeks into getting dumped by someone who completely blindsided me with it, but these last 3 weeks have made me realize that she's not right for me anyways. Time to move on, enough of these videos.
@@waleedchorfii2495 she never came back, and I'm glad she didn't. I found someone new, and shes great. only crappy thing is I havent been able to see her for 2 weeks now because of covid-19. And I probably won't see her for a while yet, we talked about it though, we're both willing to stay together until things normal out. But I'm unsure if we will last until this virus slows down...could last well over a year. That's a long time for a couple to be apart. I know I'd be willing to wait, but I dont know for sure if she would. See how it goes I guess...
Totally right man. I have been getting my heart string pulled on and off the last 2 weeks of our breakup. I've done most of the wrong things, I reached out, apologized, sent flowers, put pressure on her, etc. Only caveat to my situation is I pushed her away the whole 2 years we were together, but when she actually left it hurt. I do want her back, she did reach out about a week in and gave me positive signs it could turn around and she'd see me, but then she went cold. The end game here for me is to realize I am the catch, I am worth it, then it becomes regretful but not insurmountable she doesnt want me any more. Push forward, it is the only way out, love your life and yourself, however haltingly tough and long it takes to get there. I feel for everybody out there going through the heart break, but keep pushing, be the happiest and best you can, and one day soon we will come to a place where we are happy, regardless if your ex comes back
My ex had the next guy lined up and was dating him about 1 month and a half before our breakup. I did no contact for 3 months, till I found out. Now I deleted her and I really don't wanna see her anymore. I know she ain't gonna come back. Her fucking loss.
I have learned after 25 years I am able to be vulnerable and feel love again. I hope she comes back but things will be different. Thanks for the advice
I figured I would try journaling my thoughts as the video suggests. I feel a bit anxious, as a woman who I fell in love with deeply for almost 2 years needed to break away a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I screwed up and pressured her into a breakup by complaining too much about how my emptional needs weren’t being met. I feel stupid for blaming her when in fact I should have been dealing with my own insecurities. I have learned since the breakup that it is in part my job to deal with my own issues and to select a mate that fills my emotonal tank, not blame someone whom I chose to be with for not having the skill set to fill my tank. Thanks Rory. I will continue to work on myself and be happy again, because as you say, if she does eventually call me, I want to be happy and attractive to her, and if she doesn’t, I still want to be happy and attractive.
He broke up with me on Nov. 24th 2020. I've been NC since then. I only replied an email in one sentence about returning his stuff. But other than that.... NC till death. I just found yesterday that days before Xmas he was out on a date and apparently he had an argument with this girl. The girl called him an as***** and left him at the bar/restaurant. He then decides to walk home and stops at a bar..... starts talking sh*t to a girl so this girl's bf punches him in the face! He woke up on the floor of his apartment not knowing how he made it home. I guess the dumper do hurt because if this is not self destructive behavior I don't know what it is. I'm still NC and also don't have any social media since March 2020. So I basically disappeared from the face of the earth to him. I'm working on myself a lot. Therapy, traveling (always had but this time I'm flying solo), reconnecting with friends I had "abandoned " because of the relationship. I want to become a better version of myself.
@@sammartin9223 yeah, I've been working on myself, talking to coaches, etc. I learn something new almost every day. We never did follow each other on social media, it just wasn't a big thing for us, plus my Facebook page has always been pretty much locked down since I first created it. I have a new Instagram account that I have purposely left open...so maybe. We split for a while many years ago, and once we got back together, he admitted that he was looking at the Facebook page of my new guy. He got quite animated and jealous about it.
It wint help you to keep lying tobyoursekf that I git a new gf. You dont want to believe that I dint cheat, it's easier for you to tell yourself Ibdo. Only problem ed m is you are wrong, I'm loyal to you & you know it.
Well my ex reached out after no contact of 2months and said, how have you been? I was angry and told him he left and to lose my number. I didn’t mean it, he probably won’t reach out again. My mistake.
I don’t usually comment here on UA-cam despite being young or the history I have using this platform but people deserve to read this, I’m 30 and gave my 2 year old relationship my all, I hit an economic roadblock and struggles a little bit, my ex now left me and found a rebound 3 days later, I found out and confronted her( don’t do this it’s dumb and you’ll regret it ) after that I went radio silent knowing damm well my worth, 2 weeks later she started reaching out, in these 2 weeks I submerged my self in the love chats videos, and found peace with all the logic behind the channel, she might want me back but im not going to reply nor entertain the chance of getting back to her, People might make mistake but sometimes they repeat those mistakes, so my advice to you is no contact for your self and if you think about getting them back I suggest you take a look at their history and their tendencies then you can come to a clear conclusion. Good luck stay strong no matter if they come back or not.
The day we broke up, I thought I will never recover. Then I discovered these videos on what guys go through. It took me 7 days to be ok with it. The videos help a lot. You do describe the situation I was in and I was cracking joke and making him laugh during the break up. Complete no contact since then. Now I am good. He was out last night and I posted a photo that was just a beautiful photo of the sky with a # that could have been directed to him or not. He was out and checking it a few times. So it was a sign to me that he is in that curious stage. He has been posting photos of how much fun he is having with friends. Something he doesn't do usually.
What I realize is to work on loving myself value myself and putting myself first period. I don’t go out if my way to speak to My ex it’s been 5 months. I have moved on with my life it’s been no contact I’m just living my life oh yeah!!!
As the dumper who was mistreated, I am on no contact waiting to see if she comes back but I'm not expecting to hear back. She said she doesn't want to never hear from me again last time we talked
Hope all is better now bro... I'm the one who messed up and it's only been two weeks and it's killing me inside. LDR and I never gave her 100% now I'm 💔 ... She doesn't text me or call me back anymore we both late 40s
Needed to hear this! Going through a 6 yr breakup he left me last month and i begged and pleaded him to stay. Now a week ago i finally went into no contact and hes been calling me every other day since hes used to me calling all the time asking how im doing! Ha I know he will miss that when he realizes i dont need him anymore!
Do not contact him. He thinks he can have you on the back burner, and take you back whenever he feels like it. He couldn't last a week? He is weak. He thought he could have all the same benefits without the commitment. Show him you are strong and take time to focus on yourself. Even if you want him back, you have to give it a substantial amount of time, so you can find yourself again and then decide what it is you really want. At this time his reaching out is simply to keep tabs on you. If you go back now, know that it would fail.
90blacknight oh i know im not last time he contacted me was on friday asking how iam and i said im happy blessed and thankful and hung up. Haha i know he thinks im weak and i was gunna cry for him again. Nope i miss him alot but if he loved me like he said he did he wouldnt leave me over being “annoying” and giving him too much attention. He thinks ima reach out but nope. 6 yrs is hard but not gunna bother with an emotional unavaible narcissist🙄✌🏼
@@michellel245 I thought you said you didn't need him anymore? Maybe you were upset because he left? I was anxious on the first day of The Break-Up and really mad on the second day but on the third day I felt better because of these videos, and today I had a dream about her that we were talking again and I woke up anxious again. Crazy
I couldn’t give two shits if she’s dating some one else , nobody’s better than me , I refuse to have my life ruined by a women who doesn’t give two fucks about me now I’m the prize here , go forward embrace the future , time is a good healer , fake it until you make it Get strong mentally , look what you did wrong and learn from it I don’t need any women to make me happy
I think people always find what what they can’t have most attractive. I think that’s why we want them once they’re gone. And living your best life is always sexy.
Yo Rory it’s been about a week since she broke it off and now I’m looking back reflecting on what happened and see it’s a lot of it was my fault. Being needy, her being the main/only focus in my life. I sensed it was going to come to this point of breaking up just 2 weeks before it happened just like your videos suggest. I still have healing and bad habits to clear up like checking on her social media and such but overall with your videos I’m feeling much better. There’s still this fear of her never reaching out but I keep reminding myself if she was so ready to drop me and our 2 year relationship over a couple of rough weeks when I was willing to work through anything for her then maybe she’s not for me. It’s been 3 days of NC and will update here if/when she ever reaches out. She’s gonna have a lot to prove if that time ever comes because I’ll be a much better person thanks to you. You da man Rory
TheMasked Demagogue I hope so. Don’t get me wrong I feel she took a piece of me, and still dealing with the internal questions of why why why. I do now know that just cuz she couldn’t see my value and match it with my sense of worth it’s really her loss because either way I’ll win. Get her back or someone better. Dam I really am healing fast and idk if that’s a good thing
Well she reached out. Simply with a I love you text. After a few messages back n forth I said I’d like to meet up and have a good time, to let me know when she’s free. She said she’ll let me know. Will provide another update soon. Stay strong fellas, so far NC is working great.
My ex contacted me after a month and a week of the breakup. I was implementing no contact for 3 weeks. However, the topic was about the apartment bill. She's still not interested. I'm hopeless. Oh well, back to NC forever.
We met for the stuff. But it was just like 2 months after the break up. I got a new look but she's still firm with her decision. We were in an almost 4 years relationship and lived together for 2 years so I think it will take her alot more time than usual. I do think that whenever I reach out regarding the stuff she needs, she interprets it as me being suspiscious or wanting her back. Yesterday was the REAL START OF MY NO CONTACT since there is no reason to contact anymore. and we have a licensure examination coming up so I think she's putting all things aside and concentrate on that cause it's a really big deal. We will be taking a licensure examination to be full pledged Doctors in 2 months.
I don't know if anyone will read me but here it goes: my ex bf broke up with me (we've been together for 1 year) cause he isn't sure of he wants something more serious, at first i begged him, then we both agree with meeting at the end of the month to see if he's still thinking the same, anyways I contacted him so many times that I feel he got tired of me and then when we meet he will be exhausted of me and only reaffirm his decision, I started the NC only 3 days ago, he still see all my dog IG stories and like his photos and mine idk! I'm just confused :c
10 year relationship ended this january. Became clingy & needy for 3 months straight. Got blocked on WhatsApp. 3 months since no contact. And all this during lockdown. Excrutiating pain :)
Currently going through divorce to the love of my life for over 7+ years. I was her first love, first husband, first everything and I loved that I had her all to myself for over 7 years. But, this divorce has created a lot of anxiety and jealousy(which I never had before, neither was I controlling) that i know other men are hitting her up like blood in shark infested water. I’ve begged(I know, wasn’t supposed to), pleading, asked her for 90 days to see the improvement that I’ve learned through separation but she still rejected me. She feels that power, I know it. She filed for divorce no matter what I tried to do to get her to realize what separation does to men when they fear the loss of their wives. She served me papers through a friend, thankfully she not asking for anything but her stuff, and we don’t have kids together. There was no cheating, no lying, sex was great especially the day she moved out and asked to have intercourse one last time. The main issue which I know many will probably look at me a different way, I was verbally abusive in the moment of some of our arguments. I’m not a loose canon, I, easy going, and I truly believe that I’ve never been the one to create an argument in my marriage but I’m not perfect and suffer from issues from the military. When I feel attacked or put down after someone keeps persisting an issue, I snap and say a lot of meanful things (in that moment) and have had times I threw stuff at the walls in our house after an argument. But, I always showed how much I valued my wife and did many things to approach her an let her know that I was very remorseful and that I can only regret what I’ve done and tell her to work on myself with my psychologist. After many times and a big blow out on the 23rd of December when my wife got upset with me not going with her to see her parents before Christmas and I told her I just really didn’t want to go and that I didn’t want to drive three hours to Los Angeles and 3 hours back. She got upset and just stubbornness developed. It just keeper continue and we were both stubborn in not wanting to apologize and make things up. She said she felt like we needed to separate because things were just not going well for us. Before she actually moved out, there were many times where I sparked love with her and we continue as if everything was good but she knew she was still going to separate as she felt it was something she needed to do. Anyways long story short, I’ve fought for my wife, spent constant hours reading and watching self help information to help me become a better version of myself, left the former verbal abuser behind with a better mind set in being responsible for my actions and words even through stressful situations that I suffer from the military. I love my wife still and I’m so grateful that her parents still love me and call me their son. Her parents went through something similar but physical abuser was present in their marriage but over time, my wife’s father came back, sought the lord with her, and they’ve been married ever since them reconciling so they know our situation I’d more than fixable and believe she should take time, pray, review herself and the things she could’ve worked on, and after things settle down, reconcile and slowly build the love and trust again for each other. Off topic but those ready this just be sure to provide hope along with giving your input. I’ve had a hard time dealing with the douches that say “move on already”, “man up and get over her”, “She’s an ex for a reason, just let her go”. These people provide no hope and these people are the ones you have to never pay atention to as they probably give up to fast in life when you have to put in a lot of work in for something. Anyways, I love my wife, I miss her, I am “Moving on” but I have hope in the back of my mind that there’s a possibility she could come back. There’s always hope, if they’re still alive and not dead, or married so I will continue to improvemelf and way day we can be in love just like when we vowed to spend our lives together forever. Hope and pray.
It hurts but you can't move on when you still have hope that she'll come back. You have to focus on yourself and stop thinking about her, let her live her life and start living yours. As rory said, what if they told you that she will comeback to you in 2 days or 2 month, which one would you chose? You'll choose in 2 months if you really care about her, because getting back that soon will only destroy what's left of both. The key word here is to start LIVING your life, yours not hers! As many people say, if you really love her, you need to let her go, because you know she's not happy, that's why she left. Let her try new things and you need to start trying new things. You're fucking awesome man, so focus on yourself and improve to be a better man not only for your next partner but for all the people in this world. You can do it, believe me. I was dumped one month ago, she was my first girlfriend and I felt the same, if I move on she'll forget me and. I keep telling myself all this lies just to be miserable, hoping that being like that will bring her back. Wrong decision. You need to start living, enjoying and deattache. Being attached means suffering. You need to learn how to let go,thats how life works. It's not your decision, sound hard but it isn't. It's her decision to comeback to you or to move on. So please man, give up hope that she'll comeback and start focusing on your life, you're fucking awesome maaaan. You can do it bro.
Hey Axel, I really Appreciate you reaching out and providing your input as well. Sounds very motivational and I really appreciate your help in trying to get through this hard phase in my life. Again, thank you for your input, truly means a lot. I also appreciate you that even though you say I shouldn’t have hope (like most douche bags on other sites would say, as they just say “man up, move the fuck on”), you still provided motivation to work on myself and learn to live a good life without thinking about my wife ever coming back. You’re not one of those douche bags so I really appreciate your support. For me, hope isn’t lost. Miracles happen every day and I get that it’s either in the cards for you or it’s not. I completely understand, but I’m not ready to give up hope yet and my divorce is still processing and anything could happen from this point and on. I still have open communication with my wife and this past Sunday I asked her twice for hugs and it restored my faith in ever thinking that she’s gone forever. The main thing I will have to think about and see if I might be able to deal with her coming back after being with other men. I don’t doubt that she could come back, I doubt weather or not I will be able to bring myself to get past of the thought of her being with other men. I had her for 7 years all to myself and knowing that played a big part in the love and passion I had for her. For me hope is not lost and I’m sorry that many people feel the need to say that to others. They don’t know what possibilities are possible. I’m a believer in God and she is also, her parents are actually very hardcore non denominational Christians and they tell her that they don’t believe in divorce and our situation is more that fixable but she’s not willing to put in the work. I get it, I sound like some desperate fool, but I could give two sh*ts, I’m in no contact, not bugging her, or harassing her, and even when I saw her this past Sunday, I know she got the glimpse of the change I’ve made so far. She’s the love of my life and if I focus on myself and let her be and give her my absence, I have hope for us. Whether there is actual hope or not, I could careless because I’m still moving forward with a mindset that’s if I pray, God will either help soften my wife’s heart toward me or he will present me someone far better than I could ever imagine especially during this painful time. Rory even said it in his video, there’s i difference between moving on and letting go. I’m moving on but if she ever decides to come back and actually put in some work to build a new foundation for us, awesome. If it never happens, so what. Ill continue to better myself and attract another woman. I leave it to God to decide when I pray. If he believes I deserve her and deserve the one last opportunity with the love of my life, then he’d probably seen how hard is worked on myself. If someone else comes along, that could be his way of tell me that there’s someone else out there. Again Axel I really appreciate you and your support. 7+ years married to her and not initiating the divorce and begging and pleading during separation, and all the memories we shared, and all of her family members who support me and wish for reconciliation for me and my wife. I can’t give up hope yet man, still fresh for me. Maybe a year or two going by, hope will die and I’ll probably no longer what her back. I am bettering myself, giving her my absence, and all I have to do is be patient. Thanks again man.
Trust me bro, I know there’s so many amazing woman out there who could blow my wife out of the water when she’s compared to them and I no way is she spectacular and irresistible, but I married her because of love for her and all of her even all her flaws and all her imperfections. I married and devoted myself to this woman and I still hold true to that devotion still. Maybe devotion might die down as time goes on and I start dating myself. My wife is perfect in my eyes, every speck of her is perfect in my eyes. If I could go back and slap my mouth shut and not say things to push her to fall out of love, i’d Do it 50 times to get myself right in the head and not do something that would jeopardize her being in my life. But shit happens and all I can do is better myself. Everyone I talk to feels like I’m putting my life on hold for her and just waiting around for her to come back. Hell no!!! I’m working on myself more than ever for me because whether I get my wife back or not, there will be someone out there who would love to be with me. So again to make it clear, I’m moving on with my life, no contact, losing weight, in college full time, seeking therapy from military issues, socializing more with random people at school to build friendships as me and my wife were introverts and just loved our own bubble and we were each other’s best friends but I still made sure to show her that intimacy which continued that attraction for each other and my God was the sex great, lol. (Thanks to me) ahaha, not being cocky at all. I just wish I had the power to do more and to see the things that she would need to have her back in my arms right away. Patience is a bitch but I am hopeful.
If you're truly moving on with your life then I see no problem, but I would really recommend watching Corey Wayne's videos. There's more than you think about a relationship. I know I'm in rory's channel but Corey helped me a lot as rory did. Please invest time in Corey's videos and if you could, download audible and buy his book, they give it to you for free if you use they 30 day trial. I know I sound a little harsed and cold telling you to give hope but as you may know, we are energy (is my opinion, no an actual fact) and I think when we still grabbing that hope and forcing it to stay, we create a bad connection and energy. When we let go of the mindset that she'll come back, that's when she feels you're moving on and she starts to wonder if she made the right decision. I know is hard to trust me, I know I'm a little kiddo of 18 years old, but i was in your place and I didn't lose hope believing that by doing that she'll comeback. I'm not trying to force thing upon you, or to obligate you to follow them. Im just a little fella trying to give you my experience so you can take the best of this and apply it to your life. PS. Watch Corey Wayne too, believe me, it will help you a lot.
Just remember bro, Nice guys do not win this battle. Not telling you to be a jerk, but you have to become an alpha, which means you have to love yourself more than anyone else, you have to understand that things happened for a reason. You have to learn to let go and keep moving forward, being the best version of yourself improving everyday. Being an alpha means, following your purpose, your passion, your dreams no matter what. Do not put someone else in front of your mission, that's not right. I did that myself and I lost everything. If things work out, send me a DM because I want to celebrate with you hahaha, and if things don't workout, you need to keep moving forward. You're not alone, you may not even know me, but if you feel alone don't mind sending me a message. I'll give you my insta @axelotr. You can do it bro, whatever happens, believe that all of this happens for a reason. Im truly grateful that my ex dumped me, even if I lover till death, even if I gave my life for her I'm glad that happened because now I'm a beast, I'm the best version I can be of myself and I know there's still a long way to improve. I'm following my dream I left, I'm making a new life and I'm happy. Just please remember that everything happens for a reason. Stay strong my man, you're beast and at the end of the day you gotta be happy. I wish the best!!!!
I have a situation I need advice on: my ex broke up with me a week ago after a 3 year relationship saying she was confused and didn’t know what to do but I begged for 3 days to stay together which didn’t work so I waited around 4 days an send “Hey, sorry I was acting the way I did a few days ago. That wasn’t me. I honestly feel just as stressed about other things in my life too and it won’t happen again. Wish you well.” She responded “It’s okay, I’ve been bitchy and angry lately too, I think it’s just stress and trying to deal with emotions. “ I then said “I’m open again to try again in the future but my mind has changed a lot sense we talked last and I need to work on myself for me and if I move on I move on” which she than said “That’s exactly where I’m at, focus on myself and ensure that I’m happy, let time heal a little bit and then if we find each other we find each other” Did I blow my chances of getting back together and will no contact work?
I’m moving on from my ex-girlfriend after I initiated the breakup, it’s gonna five months now since then we haven’t contacted each other…. Throughout that time I often wonder if she’s thinking about me or just wants another guy to handle her expenses to be honest I think she’ll get into a rebound relationship which can or won’t last long and I’m not interested in any girl now because I’ll end back at square one, what bothers me is if she’s hurting or trying not let this breakup get to her without me having an influence to it since I’m just moving on with my life naturally.
I'm a little more calm since the initial breakup. She said she needed space and that between everybody else, her friends, family and me, telling her she needs work, that she needs a break. But she did emphazise me as if I was the crux of the matter. Did she have the same conversation with the family and close friends too?? We talked on the phone on and off for a few days. She called me a week later. I hit her up right off the bat about getting together. She was genuinely pleased to hear my voice. She called me back a week later and said she wanted to meet up and go hang out. We did do it. We had a great time but she really was full of herself. Like she was Queen Sheeba and that nothing could touch her. It was if she was on fire and there wasn't enough water on the planet to douse the flames. Anyway she's supposed to be going back to some technical school for trainging and she might fill me in somewhere along the way. We last saw each other 08/25/2019. I haven't heard a peep from her and I've been 'radio silent' the whole time. Not a peep either. So we shall see what the future holds. I sympathize with her but I'm the prize here. I'm getting better by the day. :)
Plz plz plz reply 🙏🙏 My ex n I dated for 3 months.. He felt head over heels but after 6 weeks he started behaving anxious n started sabotaging the rs by searching for things he dislike.. Even in my 7 years past 😳... He told someone there are feelings.. But later I used to behave to pushy bcauze of his energy. He told me tht I am special to him n always will be.. He didn't wanna lose me. He was so scared.. Still have to assume tht he got a lot of issues... But I was the very first real try of rs after beeing 1,5 years separated of his ex wife. His heart vanished n he said I made him feel it again.. At the end I did 2 much to pamper him.. . Lost myself n self-respect.. I acted like my ex before.. (I dumped him n later reached out) 5th December he dumbed me.. Telling me he can't feel the same n felt like talking to his loved cousin.. Or maybe it's just tht we need time to realize.. But he want me in his life... As friend... He cried often.. N struggled around 1,5 months leaving me bcauze of my pure heart.. Now I take it as a compliment.. But first I felt betrayed! I helped him a lot n supported him mentally. He said I was the second woman he trusted tht fast (xcept his mom) He thanked me to make him see a few things different than he used to but he hope I respect his decision tht he have to clear his things first before including new ppl.. Well 3 days later he dated a old friend n had sex with her..He felt like.. Maybe they just passed by all the years.. Lol.... He searches for the light moments.. I saw his soul which needs professional help but he just want the gud moments.. He told me 1 week later. He hope tht I find someone who love me the way I am.. It won't be him.. 💔 He felt a Lil shame 2 bcauze after his wife left him (toxic rs) he started isolation n drinking. N now he just seemed to get a rebound right away.. N she came just out of a rs 2!! I donno about them these days.. Donno if they are dating. Donno about her looks either! But first I felt like I am not worthy to wait.. But maybe it's also a compliment for me tht he tried to replace me tht fast? Donno.. At Christmas he texted me n said thanks for my calender I made by my own n he hope tht we remain friends.. I didn't reply to this. He still got me on fb. BUT After I went out to dance (27th12) n posted a picture in whatsapp, it seemed like he just deleted my number 😳 n I have no clue why.. He is half Cuban n very temperamentally.. Wht could tht mean?? Once he said he stopped running after ppl. Now me a lil worried tht he won't contact again.. I truly hope he realizes wht I gave him.. N tht we had gud chances. But it was difficult bcauze our anxietys I am working on it n thtswhy I came 2 know about it n my behaviors tht fast.. But he don't like psychology.. He have less self love n confidence but act like a Macho.. N I showed him also his problems n maybe he needs someone who always tell him how awesome he is Ppl told me he is just a player bla bla bla.. Even a other Cuban guy who know him.. But I met his very best friend n I saw his soul a Lil.. He used to be pure with me.. But his problem is to articulate problems.. We could help us to grow.. But he continues looking for the light things.. Years back I met someone similar to him.. N I know he couldn't forget me till now. But he stopped contact bcauze :'u see how often I treated u badly' but once I got a letter.. Somehow I touch them.. But still they search for toxic rs.. Do u think he may overthink? What would you think why did he just delet my number after seeing this picture? N I am still hurt by words he said to me.. When should I mention this?
Do you think all this stuff works if the ex (dumper) has an avoidant attachment style? I mean, I do know that NoContact works with them, for sure it does, but what I mean is that all this stuff that you said here, do you think it all usually applies too for avoidant people? Thank you, wise and motivational channel.
My stbx said when we were NC he was "So happy" as he could go to movies and basically he could be a kid again and all his money and time is spent on fun. He actually used the word "I feel like I am on vacation". I am stuck at home with two kids and caring for everyone and everything and doctors appointments everyday. Made me feel mad and hurt as I have no vacation and I don't get to sleep in or have a vacation, but I do have the kids and they are worth more than anything. I hope he is feeling these feelings as this is the first time he has bought our kids gifts on a holiday. He had ten years to do something nice and be nice and keep his promises and NOW he wants to keep all these promises he made for years. I'm not buying. He had opportunities galore and didn't care or do anything until it was too late and the damage to our trust and my kids trust in their father was gone. He never once thought to get them a valentines gift until he had nothing but time on his hands and he can keep all of that lonely time.
Dealt with that. It's hard, I wanted to stay but then I was pushed away, ignored, discarded. Can't support someone who is not willing to get professional help or not helping herself. I hope she heals and focus on self growth. Then maybe if she really wants me she will reach out. 🙂💞🙏
Holy fuck so i got insecure over her getting back in contact with her exes, i learned to accept it because i didn’t want to be controlling and trusted her that she no longer loved them and she didn’t have a lot of friends, she said how she kept stalking one of her exes to see if he was online a few weeks back which i found very strange, they talked for a few weeks and then she left me after i got jealous over her new guy friends (i blame myself not her) am i overthinking this or could she have done what this video says (they broke up like 1 and a half years ago but recently got back in contact). Im just trying to figure out what went wrong and if she caught feelings for him again. Just kinda crossed my mind but maybe she was just trying to be friends (she has a couple of exes that she has friendships with and wanted me to speak to them etc)
My ex keep our relationship as a secret for almost 7 years from her family just because we have different religion . Now she dumped me, i know she meet new person but she just dont wanna admit . For 3 weeks im asking for explanation but what i get just “fuck off” and etc etc bad words . I never thought she will treat me like that . Its been two weeks i never contact her and think she’s happy now with other guy . The most selfish person i ever love and still care about her .
Pretty strange feeling here.. I realised that i now know both sides of the force. I broke up after 8 years even if i still had feelings (first gf) because relationship wasnt working , and know i am the dumpee after 2 years (second gf) .. I can actually relate on both sides
Was in that spot many years ago. Keep working on yourself and don't blame yourself for what happened. Karma will take care of it for you. Hope you're doing well.
I can probably answer that. I left my ex for another, never slept with anyone while dating her. But did leave for another and she knew I did. I actually felt relieved and happy, but it did hit. Still does, and this was a toxic relationship. So even that was hard to do, I don't claim to be perfect for leaving. But I knew I couldn't stay.
I don't think NC work on somebody who left after 10 years saying we are too different (crying while breaking up) and in reality having someone else waiting for him, I would have put my hand in the fire- this sure i was about his honesty. Been in NC from the day one (this happened 5 weeks ago)...it shattered my heart. I know he won't return, I just wan't to find a way to start healing and find a will to live my life.
How bad is it to not be posting happy/fun stuff on your social media? I'm about a month and a half into NC and I've pretty much stopped using my social media. Not entirely due to her; I just haven't really wanted/needed to.
It isn't bad. This is consider radio silence while also doing NC. Basically you fell off the Earth. In some cases it's speeds up the anxiety in your ex. It's a strategy used by a lot of people.
Im currently A month through a break up, focus on your self, not what there doing keeo active and busy...if you have kids like me just contact for them only at night times to say good night, eventually you see they reach out to you, just be nice ☺ show your not dwelling on the past and they realise your in a better place than what they left you, put it this way she wants to meet up in a few days, and I started begging at the beginning also btw!
My ex and I have the same group of friends. Ive been laying low working on me hitting the gym. Been on NC for 2 weeks. My question is she has unfriended me on snap and blocked me on Instagram about a week after we broke up. Now I'm waiting untill after Valentine's day to contact her that will be about 50 days just to check in. I plan on hanging out with our friends in early March. So the question is even if she doesn't reply what should I do when I do see her again? We broke up due to her not being emotionally equipped to be in a relationship and she said she needed to work on herself.
I met up with my ex. after her rebound ended...she decided she wants to be alone... after a while i asked show she was... her reply.... I'm enjoying my solitude... WTF... i guess its over... Dec 6 will be one year since she broke it off with me
Odds are great that she was with him before breaking up with you. They rarely leave a solid relationship just to be alone. In most cases, they’ve found what they believe is a better option. Let her regret her decision by leaving her alone. If you were good to her, then she may reconsider. By then, however, you will most likely not want her back.
What youe ex is thinking during NC- not about you. They go on dates, they have sex with other people. Lets not kid ourselfs. If they've cared, they would have stayed. Someone that loves you does not leave you.
I didn’t strike when the iron was hot and I may have blown my chances BUT when my ex did reach out to me a few months ago there was just something about her text that felt off to me, her text was kind of manipulative so I went with my gut and just didn’t respond and honestly I think I made the right decision, I don’t think I want to get back together with her but I want her to want me back if that makes sense, it’s kind of a shitty feeling to have but oh well, do exes reach out multiple times if you don’t reply back?
my partner of 9 years (married for 2), has just left me. he said i have been controlling, naggy and that he has compromised for the relationship more than i have, i now realise i took the relationship for granted, but so did he. i have done the mistake of begging and pleading and crying and saying i can't live without him to no avail at the time. I am currently 8 months pregnant. I am doing no contact , currently 2nd week now. and i havent heard from him except to ask when my next obstetrician appointment is.... he also said before he left that he no longer loves me the same way.... does he still loves me? does he miss me? is no contact working? he is very stubborn - will he reach out??
I never usually post on social media but a its been almost 2 weeks after the breakup and ive been posting neutral/positive stuff on my snap stories where i workout and stuff. Is that good? Should i continue?
You should just focus on your life and not worry what your ex thinks. They didn't value you enough to want to spend their time with you. Guess what, there are TONS of people who would love to be with you! Let go and meet those people
U had a brake up, but your ex is posting pictures that she took at your place while in the relationship and at the same time, posting messages that's she has decided to let it go coz she don't want to get hurt more. What does this implies?
He has blocked me on what app & messenger, M on NC, since 10days, I hv removed my picture from fb whatsapp, he's on skype list ihv removed my picture from Skype profile as well. I hvnt removed him & he too. This time its enough, I love alot but he doesn't value. I'll be quite even if he contacts
I was in a 5 year relationship. We have been through think and thin with me being in the millitary for a year and working abroad for about 6 months, she was always supportive and patient. Due to me expressing uncertainty about the future one day, I was feeling down, she snapped. It was like she became another person in a matter of weeks. She ended up breaking it off. After a few failed attempts to get her back I quickly went into no contact. She broke NC on day 36. we met up that day, 3 hours, and she told me she wanted me back but I told her that I was only partially interested since she broke my trust. She said she would make a huge effort ect. I called her the next day because I felt I was abit harsh,given that I negglected her slightly in the relationship, opened up abit and started getting resistance from her. I panicked, called her, tried to set a date to meet up, again she acted flaky so told her good luck with her life. I sent her a text 2 hrs later saying "sorry about today Im a little confused". In NC again. What now ?
had this situationship for a month, dude wasn't good in communication and we had a few conversations about it and he didn't step up/ he didn't like me as much. Broke it off with him 3 days ago and damn, it hurts so much noww
What if I was the rebound guy in the situation? My ex ended a 5 year relationship in January after being cheated on, and then we got together in March. My ex broke up with me at the beginning of July and she's not reached out at all, other than once to arrange returning our things almost right away. I didn't beg or plead at all during the breakup and did the "let me know if you change your mind" chat. The fact that I've heard nothing in all that time and I'm pretty sure she's with someone else, leaves me thinking the odds aren't great...
Not to crush your hope, but you being a rebound doesn't do a lot to help your case. It's entirely possible that her feelings for you never ran that deep and once she experienced what being with you was like, it fizzled out. The best thing you can do is keep NC and work on moving on. In the best case scenario she comes back and you will be in a good place.
@@BlackLabelSlushie Her ex lives in another country now and is dating the girl he cheated with. I don't think she's gone back to him. It's just a hunch I've got that she's with someone else, not confirmed.
I was broken up with just over 6 weeks ago, and I handled it pretty moderately, found out that she started dating a guy she knew from work about a a week and a half after our break up (which she likely lined up i.e. grass is greener) Though again, I handled it good I didn't do any major amount of pleading, and didn't really beg, but I did facebook stalk, and she had posted pictures she tagged her new date in (he wasn't in the picture, it was just with him) For background information, me and her always planned on riding up the STL Arch, as it would have been my first time, after the break up however, as a sort of celebration to myself I decided to take myself to the Arch on what would have been our 1 year anniversary and the day before my birthday. She knew I was going there that day, as I had posted it on my facebook (that I was doing it for my birthday) and she commented "happy birthday" yet she took her new bf there the same day I went... (She had also taken her mom somewhere I went, the day after she knew I went, and made sure that I knew she did) Anyway, I obviously got heated and so I sent her a message basically critiquing her, as she had asked before why I never critiqued her during the break up, so I took that shot. Obviously in poor judgememt. As you can expect, she got mad, messaged and then blocked me on messanger, though she did not delete me as a friend on facebook, nor block me there. I have been no contact since then, only a week and a half and I could easily keep going, however, should I send one last "happy holidays, I feel I've been a jerk, we both did some dumb things, hope you are well" type of text to help clean the slate for her for future communications? I will obviously not reply to what ever message she replies with, if any, though this way no contact can have a better effect on her, maybe open her up to stalking my facebook again? Then in the future if she contacts, I can follow up as you normally suggest?
I hope you did not send anything. The point of no contact is to work on yourself while being disciplined enough not to send messages to clear the slate
Hi Love Chat. You are amazing! Can't get enough of you. I am pregnant with his child. He kicked me and child 9 year old out of his house while visiting. He hates my son. We live 80 miles from each other. I was 10 weeks pregnant at that time. I asked him what he wants to do with the prangancy. He said it's up to me. I couldn't kill the baby. I haven't told him that I am keeping the baby. It's has been five weeks since the breakup. Should I continue to do no contact?
Can you do a video on no contact when children are involved. My situation is very difficult because I look after my children at our old house while my ex goes to work in the evening. And when she comes home I go back to my mum and dads. I don’t want my children’s lives to be affected because of this break up so that’s why I do this
I handled the breakup so bad and embarrassingly for a week... then I stopped and now I feel good. This happened at the beginning of the month, and was all over social media... 😳 even made videos on IG of me singing and playing guitar... but I did that before I met her, and fell back in love doing it so now I’m doing that.
Is been almost four year my ex have walk away with out no closure and leave all his belongings and never pick up . I Try to connect but he block me fro all the media . Do you have any idea why " he walk out
I do have one slight issue with the absence makes the heart grow fonder statement. Have been told by certain coaches that it only works when your in a relationship or friends, not after a break up. Can you please shed your perspective on this? Many thanks.
Hey Rory wanted your opinion on something and maybe even a video topic ? What if my ex thinks I’m dating someone else during no contact and knowing her she doesn’t want to reach out because of that. Your thoughts ?
What if we were in contact for three months after the break up then I went no contact I’m on day 20 I’m not going to contact ever again could it still be effective? I know it’s knot guarantee but she thought I wasn’t going to ever stop contacting her but you gave me the strength and I’m sticking to it .we was together for three years by the way.
Hey bro how's the situation? I was also in contact with my ex for 1 and half months after she broke up with me in end of Oct . I've been in no contact for 1 month. We were together for 4 years
My bf broke up with me this sunday, he said he was tired of me, and didnt wanted anything anymore with me, when he said that i got desperate and begged him to give me another chance (he broke up some other time before but we got back together right after) and he stil said no and for me to move on, but ever since then i have been feeling a lot of pain and just yesterday i sended him another message bc i didnt liked the way we broke up so i changed my words to him and said goodbye, im rlly hopefull that one day he might comeback but it scares me bc he might find someone else or that he already had eyes for someone else...i am trying to avoid any contact with him but it hurts me to see him online in social media, i was told to move on with my life and do things for myself wich is what im trying to do but i still think about him and want him...i really dont know if i should do my life, get myself better with hopes of him comming back or just try to forget about him once and for all...?
Love your work man I had been watching the con artist side of breakup videos for the longest time before I found you. My ex reached out at 1:30am after out anniversary just saying "its the 23rd" "Well it was" and I just replied "Yeah it was hope you had a good day" I know you council trying to set a date but it was only 3 weeks into no contact after two weeks of begging and pleading followed by two weeks of begrudging hangouts and cold behavior. I decided to wait for a more meaningful contact and to give me more time to work on myself. Let me know if that puts me in the position to reach out your input is appreciated
My ex doesn’t use social media of any kind, 50 years old.... There is anyway to associate me in anyhow. I don’t think he will ever reach out. He was sooo cold, not even my clothes he sent to me. And to make matter worse, he lives in another city.
So my ex went to talk to her ex before me during NC and then after like 2-3 months of that loser filling my void he drops him again for a new guy and now is apparently happily in love with him. So I guess I should totally forget about her?
No contact...for 6 weeks..and still going..he just liked my post yesterday.. he can read my posts and enjoy in my absence..Ive got many other friends all over the 🌎..and he knows it..😂😂😂😂
They are often thinking about us during NC. They will put on a facade like they're living their best life , when in fact they are hurting inside.
Good comment man. Very true from past experience.
I Am Chedda Hope so.
@@thelegionary07 yes I'm still going thru it man.
@@bosschedda_ A lot of times it comes down to pride. Nobody wants to admit that they made a mistake, and say that they miss their ex. I think people that say an ex comes back 2-4 months on average are wrong. I rarely see it happen that way. That's the best case scenario.
@@thelegionary07 it all depends on the couple. My ex and I have been split for 6 months now. Lots of ups and downs. I think NC for the remainder of the year will help us come back.
Dumper's may have the last laugh now but at the end we'r gona have the endless laughter !!
I don't care what he thinks, and I don't want him back. I just want this pain to end :(
@@azazel3944 I am trying.
Eyüp AVCI actually you still waiting if you feel the pain
@@cng1604 That is correct. Even though this relationship is utterly destructive, I don't seem to have the power to walk away. I start to believe that I might have attachment trauma from childhood.
Same with me,
@@EyupAvc if that is the case you tell yourself that you are an adult that can look after yourself! You're inner child must listen to your adult self and you can continue moving forward. You'll get there!
I'll say for certain that if you dated this person a year or more, they are definitely still thinking about you A LOT! Think of the random people you've thought of just today that you haven't seen in years. The human brain just doesn't work to forget. Rebounds are actually a good thing and if you maintain a low profile I can assure you they will be thinking about you even more. In most cases the dumper is fighting to stay strong because they are the ones who are having to live with such a decision.
Does this still apply if my ex had grass is greener syndrome?
Derek James true. I saw my ex post on Facebook that "despite life challenges you have to stay easy....and bold". Im 3 weeks of no contact and she is beginning to feel the heat. Igues no contact works.
@@engineerpeter3586 it's been 2 months of no contact and she's hanging out with her male friends and posting Happy pictures on social media. I'm dead!!
I would argue that short term relationships are just as bad or worst. I got dumped by a girl because she was foolish to be dating at a time in her life when she was bombarded with full-time school and work..but we never once argued, and I do not regret any minute I spent with her.. the pain of knowing we could have made so many more amazing memories, and all of that vanishing instantly is insane. But it's been almost 2 months of NC but I still dont know what to even feel anymore. Just trying to focus on myself.. if she reaches out I won't respond.
@@gasscooterdude I actually am in a similar boat now. Girl I was seeing for a couple months totally turned away from me. Really sucks because I miss her more than I did the one I was with for 3 years. Coming up on 1 month NC.
I like how respectful is this man is towards us 😊 he never makes fun of us dumpees, never play with our anxiety and sounds very empathetic 😊🤗 best coach.
Yes, unlike magnet of success guy who is very demeaning to the dumpee
Go on with your life as if you know they will never come back. No contact is torture if you believe they will come back, most of the time they don't. And if they do, you might have decided by then that they're not right for you anyways. Life is too short to hold onto heartbreak. Find someone that loves you for who you are. I'm 3 weeks into getting dumped by someone who completely blindsided me with it, but these last 3 weeks have made me realize that she's not right for me anyways. Time to move on, enough of these videos.
Very very true
Any update ?
@@waleedchorfii2495 she never came back, and I'm glad she didn't. I found someone new, and shes great. only crappy thing is I havent been able to see her for 2 weeks now because of covid-19. And I probably won't see her for a while yet, we talked about it though, we're both willing to stay together until things normal out. But I'm unsure if we will last until this virus slows down...could last well over a year. That's a long time for a couple to be apart. I know I'd be willing to wait, but I dont know for sure if she would. See how it goes I guess...
Totally right man. I have been getting my heart string pulled on and off the last 2 weeks of our breakup. I've done most of the wrong things, I reached out, apologized, sent flowers, put pressure on her, etc. Only caveat to my situation is I pushed her away the whole 2 years we were together, but when she actually left it hurt. I do want her back, she did reach out about a week in and gave me positive signs it could turn around and she'd see me, but then she went cold. The end game here for me is to realize I am the catch, I am worth it, then it becomes regretful but not insurmountable she doesnt want me any more. Push forward, it is the only way out, love your life and yourself, however haltingly tough and long it takes to get there. I feel for everybody out there going through the heart break, but keep pushing, be the happiest and best you can, and one day soon we will come to a place where we are happy, regardless if your ex comes back
@@sniper2315 any update?
Crying right now. Because he's not the right person for me. A hot and cold bastard. I don't even want to have him in my thoughts anymore.
Update.?
I learned that I need to love myself before I can love someone else. No more apologizing for being myself! So much happier now.
Mjm
I deleted all my social media accounts and went out to live my best life. I also planned on setting 2 years of my life single.
Um what if you don’t want your ex back but you’re having a hard time getting over it?!?!?
You're the best psychologist I ever had😔
My ex had the next guy lined up and was dating him about 1 month and a half before our breakup. I did no contact for 3 months, till I found out. Now I deleted her and I really don't wanna see her anymore. I know she ain't gonna come back.
Her fucking loss.
Pure narcissist you don’t need that in your life.
Most women have back ups in case a break up happens.
I have learned after 25 years I am able to be vulnerable and feel love again. I hope she comes back but things will be different. Thanks for the advice
I figured I would try journaling my thoughts as the video suggests. I feel a bit anxious, as a woman who I fell in love with deeply for almost 2 years needed to break away a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I screwed up and pressured her into a breakup by complaining too much about how my emptional needs weren’t being met. I feel stupid for blaming her when in fact I should have been dealing with my own insecurities. I have learned since the breakup that it is in part my job to deal with my own issues and to select a mate that fills my emotonal tank, not blame someone whom I chose to be with for not having the skill set to fill my tank. Thanks Rory. I will continue to work on myself and be happy again, because as you say, if she does eventually call me, I want to be happy and attractive to her, and if she doesn’t, I still want to be happy and attractive.
Hey we dumpees rock ! Dumpers will come crawling back to us eventually
Can you do more videos on short term relationships that were less than one year? Also, what are some potential signs they are never coming back?
Sure!
He broke up with me on Nov. 24th 2020. I've been NC since then. I only replied an email in one sentence about returning his stuff. But other than that.... NC till death. I just found yesterday that days before Xmas he was out on a date and apparently he had an argument with this girl. The girl called him an as***** and left him at the bar/restaurant. He then decides to walk home and stops at a bar..... starts talking sh*t to a girl so this girl's bf punches him in the face! He woke up on the floor of his apartment not knowing how he made it home. I guess the dumper do hurt because if this is not self destructive behavior I don't know what it is. I'm still NC and also don't have any social media since March 2020. So I basically disappeared from the face of the earth to him. I'm working on myself a lot. Therapy, traveling (always had but this time I'm flying solo), reconnecting with friends I had "abandoned " because of the relationship. I want to become a better version of myself.
Wow me too she broke up with me 24/nov in my birthday
Any update?
His lose Bubb. Stay strong 💪
Mine just went out and got a new girlfriend. I've been in no contact for seven months, and haven't heard a word.
Maybe it's time for you to go out have fun, post things up in social media, I hope he's following you. Stay happy and keep working on yourself
@@sammartin9223 yeah, I've been working on myself, talking to coaches, etc. I learn something new almost every day.
We never did follow each other on social media, it just wasn't a big thing for us, plus my Facebook page has always been pretty much locked down since I first created it. I have a new Instagram account that I have purposely left open...so maybe. We split for a while many years ago, and once we got back together, he admitted that he was looking at the Facebook page of my new guy. He got quite animated and jealous about it.
I’m confused, so did he ever reach out or not because your second comment said y’all did get back together?
It wint help you to keep lying tobyoursekf that I git a new gf. You dont want to believe that I dint cheat, it's easier for you to tell yourself Ibdo. Only problem ed m is you are wrong, I'm loyal to you & you know it.
EXCEPT WHEN COVID MAKES YOU SIT AT HOME lmao...
SugaMinTaeKook how are you now? Me and my ex broke up a week ab to be two . Quarantine is making me feel everything and not hide
@@Julie-sw2ml Mmm... not so good... Lonely?
You have a Kpop picture too lol...
SugaMinTaeKook yeah I feel you... && yeah lol
@@Julie-sw2ml it really sucks 😢
Ganda Ako fresh break up?
Well my ex reached out after no contact of 2months and said, how have you been? I was angry and told him he left and to lose my number. I didn’t mean it, he probably won’t reach out again. My mistake.
That is ok. He/she doesnt deserve u anyway. You will find someone better. Dont regret your action because that eleveated you in his/her eyes.
I don’t usually comment here on UA-cam despite being young or the history I have using this platform but people deserve to read this, I’m 30 and gave my 2 year old relationship my all, I hit an economic roadblock and struggles a little bit, my ex now left me and found a rebound 3 days later, I found out and confronted her( don’t do this it’s dumb and you’ll regret it ) after that I went radio silent knowing damm well my worth, 2 weeks later she started reaching out, in these 2 weeks I submerged my self in the love chats videos, and found peace with all the logic behind the channel, she might want me back but im not going to reply nor entertain the chance of getting back to her,
People might make mistake but sometimes they repeat those mistakes, so my advice to you is no contact for your self and if you think about getting them back I suggest you take a look at their history and their tendencies then you can come to a clear conclusion. Good luck stay strong no matter if they come back or not.
The day we broke up, I thought I will never recover. Then I discovered these videos on what guys go through. It took me 7 days to be ok with it. The videos help a lot. You do describe the situation I was in and I was cracking joke and making him laugh during the break up. Complete no contact since then. Now I am good. He was out last night and I posted a photo that was just a beautiful photo of the sky with a # that could have been directed to him or not. He was out and checking it a few times. So it was a sign to me that he is in that curious stage. He has been posting photos of how much fun he is having with friends. Something he doesn't do usually.
What I realize is to work on loving myself value myself and putting myself first period. I don’t go out if my way to speak to My ex it’s been 5 months. I have moved on with my life it’s been no contact I’m just living my life oh yeah!!!
I hope to get where your at. I keep texting my ex and getting ignored.
He was my soulmate I just want him back. Trying to be strong.
Hy brittimg
how to your relationship going on?
Did you get him back?
how are you doing now britt?
brittmg13 did it happen??
All narcissists say that you’re their soulmate. A true soulmate won’t leave you no matter what. True love is unconditional.
All I've learned is that I have unwittingly made every mistake going.
Same feeling
As the dumper who was mistreated, I am on no contact waiting to see if she comes back but I'm not expecting to hear back. She said she doesn't want to never hear from me again last time we talked
Hope all is better now bro... I'm the one who messed up and it's only been two weeks and it's killing me inside. LDR and I never gave her 100% now I'm 💔 ... She doesn't text me or call me back anymore we both late 40s
Needed to hear this! Going through a 6 yr breakup he left me last month and i begged and pleaded him to stay. Now a week ago i finally went into no contact and hes been calling me every other day since hes used to me calling all the time asking how im doing! Ha I know he will miss that when he realizes i dont need him anymore!
Do not contact him. He thinks he can have you on the back burner, and take you back whenever he feels like it. He couldn't last a week? He is weak. He thought he could have all the same benefits without the commitment. Show him you are strong and take time to focus on yourself. Even if you want him back, you have to give it a substantial amount of time, so you can find yourself again and then decide what it is you really want. At this time his reaching out is simply to keep tabs on you. If you go back now, know that it would fail.
90blacknight oh i know im not last time he contacted me was on friday asking how iam and i said im happy blessed and thankful and hung up. Haha i know he thinks im weak and i was gunna cry for him again. Nope i miss him alot but if he loved me like he said he did he wouldnt leave me over being “annoying” and giving him too much attention. He thinks ima reach out but nope. 6 yrs is hard but not gunna bother with an emotional unavaible narcissist🙄✌🏼
@@michellel245
do you have any updates?
Alejandro Alvarez yes were still together :)
@@michellel245
I thought you said you didn't need him anymore? Maybe you were upset because he left? I was anxious on the first day of The Break-Up and really mad on the second day but on the third day I felt better because of these videos, and today I had a dream about her that we were talking again and I woke up anxious again. Crazy
I couldn’t give two shits if she’s dating some one else , nobody’s better than me , I refuse to have my life ruined by a women who doesn’t give two fucks about me now
I’m the prize here , go forward embrace the future , time is a good healer , fake it until you make it
Get strong mentally , look what you did wrong and learn from it
I don’t need any women to make me happy
I think people always find what what they can’t have most attractive. I think that’s why we want them once they’re gone. And living your best life is always sexy.
Yo Rory it’s been about a week since she broke it off and now I’m looking back reflecting on what happened and see it’s a lot of it was my fault. Being needy, her being the main/only focus in my life. I sensed it was going to come to this point of breaking up just 2 weeks before it happened just like your videos suggest. I still have healing and bad habits to clear up like checking on her social media and such but overall with your videos I’m feeling much better. There’s still this fear of her never reaching out but I keep reminding myself if she was so ready to drop me and our 2 year relationship over a couple of rough weeks when I was willing to work through anything for her then maybe she’s not for me. It’s been 3 days of NC and will update here if/when she ever reaches out. She’s gonna have a lot to prove if that time ever comes because I’ll be a much better person thanks to you. You da man Rory
count yourself lucky you caught yourself fast man, this'll be so much smoother for you
TheMasked Demagogue I hope so. Don’t get me wrong I feel she took a piece of me, and still dealing with the internal questions of why why why. I do now know that just cuz she couldn’t see my value and match it with my sense of worth it’s really her loss because either way I’ll win. Get her back or someone better. Dam I really am healing fast and idk if that’s a good thing
Well she reached out. Simply with a I love you text. After a few messages back n forth I said I’d like to meet up and have a good time, to let me know when she’s free. She said she’ll let me know. Will provide another update soon. Stay strong fellas, so far NC is working great.
Update????
Update?
They ALWAYS come back if you work on yourself. NOT if you sulk and wait for them.
My ex contacted me after a month and a week of the breakup. I was implementing no contact for 3 weeks. However, the topic was about the apartment bill. She's still not interested. I'm hopeless. Oh well, back to NC forever.
any update ?
We met for the stuff. But it was just like 2 months after the break up. I got a new look but she's still firm with her decision. We were in an almost 4 years relationship and lived together for 2 years so I think it will take her alot more time than usual. I do think that whenever I reach out regarding the stuff she needs, she interprets it as me being suspiscious or wanting her back. Yesterday was the REAL START OF MY NO CONTACT since there is no reason to contact anymore.
and we have a licensure examination coming up so I think she's putting all things aside and concentrate on that cause it's a really big deal. We will be taking a licensure examination to be full pledged Doctors in 2 months.
I don't know if anyone will read me but here it goes: my ex bf broke up with me (we've been together for 1 year) cause he isn't sure of he wants something more serious, at first i begged him, then we both agree with meeting at the end of the month to see if he's still thinking the same, anyways I contacted him so many times that I feel he got tired of me and then when we meet he will be exhausted of me and only reaffirm his decision, I started the NC only 3 days ago, he still see all my dog IG stories and like his photos and mine idk! I'm just confused :c
10 year relationship ended this january. Became clingy & needy for 3 months straight. Got blocked on WhatsApp. 3 months since no contact. And all this during lockdown. Excrutiating pain :)
Hey Shikha! I hope that you are feeling better now 🙂
Currently going through divorce to the love of my life for over 7+ years. I was her first love, first husband, first everything and I loved that I had her all to myself for over 7 years. But, this divorce has created a lot of anxiety and jealousy(which I never had before, neither was I controlling) that i know other men are hitting her up like blood in shark infested water.
I’ve begged(I know, wasn’t supposed to), pleading, asked her for 90 days to see the improvement that I’ve learned through separation but she still rejected me. She feels that power, I know it.
She filed for divorce no matter what I tried to do to get her to realize what separation does to men when they fear the loss of their wives. She served me papers through a friend, thankfully she not asking for anything but her stuff, and we don’t have kids together.
There was no cheating, no lying, sex was great especially the day she moved out and asked to have intercourse one last time. The main issue which I know many will probably look at me a different way, I was verbally abusive in the moment of some of our arguments. I’m not a loose canon, I, easy going, and I truly believe that I’ve never been the one to create an argument in my marriage but I’m not perfect and suffer from issues from the military. When I feel attacked or put down after someone keeps persisting an issue, I snap and say a lot of meanful things (in that moment) and have had times I threw stuff at the walls in our house after an argument. But, I always showed how much I valued my wife and did many things to approach her an let her know that I was very remorseful and that I can only regret what I’ve done and tell her to work on myself with my psychologist. After many times and a big blow out on the 23rd of December when my wife got upset with me not going with her to see her parents before Christmas and I told her I just really didn’t want to go and that I didn’t want to drive three hours to Los Angeles and 3 hours back. She got upset and just stubbornness developed. It just keeper continue and we were both stubborn in not wanting to apologize and make things up. She said she felt like we needed to separate because things were just not going well for us. Before she actually moved out, there were many times where I sparked love with her and we continue as if everything was good but she knew she was still going to separate as she felt it was something she needed to do.
Anyways long story short, I’ve fought for my wife, spent constant hours reading and watching self help information to help me become a better version of myself, left the former verbal abuser behind with a better mind set in being responsible for my actions and words even through stressful situations that I suffer from the military.
I love my wife still and I’m so grateful that her parents still love me and call me their son. Her parents went through something similar but physical abuser was present in their marriage but over time, my wife’s father came back, sought the lord with her, and they’ve been married ever since them reconciling so they know our situation I’d more than fixable and believe she should take time, pray, review herself and the things she could’ve worked on, and after things settle down, reconcile and slowly build the love and trust again for each other.
Off topic but those ready this just be sure to provide hope along with giving your input. I’ve had a hard time dealing with the douches that say “move on already”, “man up and get over her”, “She’s an ex for a reason, just let her go”. These people provide no hope and these people are the ones you have to never pay atention to as they probably give up to fast in life when you have to put in a lot of work in for something.
Anyways, I love my wife, I miss her, I am “Moving on” but I have hope in the back of my mind that there’s a possibility she could come back. There’s always hope, if they’re still alive and not dead, or married so I will continue to improvemelf and way day we can be in love just like when we vowed to spend our lives together forever. Hope and pray.
It hurts but you can't move on when you still have hope that she'll come back. You have to focus on yourself and stop thinking about her, let her live her life and start living yours. As rory said, what if they told you that she will comeback to you in 2 days or 2 month, which one would you chose? You'll choose in 2 months if you really care about her, because getting back that soon will only destroy what's left of both. The key word here is to start LIVING your life, yours not hers! As many people say, if you really love her, you need to let her go, because you know she's not happy, that's why she left. Let her try new things and you need to start trying new things. You're fucking awesome man, so focus on yourself and improve to be a better man not only for your next partner but for all the people in this world. You can do it, believe me. I was dumped one month ago, she was my first girlfriend and I felt the same, if I move on she'll forget me and. I keep telling myself all this lies just to be miserable, hoping that being like that will bring her back. Wrong decision. You need to start living, enjoying and deattache. Being attached means suffering. You need to learn how to let go,thats how life works. It's not your decision, sound hard but it isn't. It's her decision to comeback to you or to move on. So please man, give up hope that she'll comeback and start focusing on your life, you're fucking awesome maaaan. You can do it bro.
Hey Axel, I really Appreciate you reaching out and providing your input as well. Sounds very motivational and I really appreciate your help in trying to get through this hard phase in my life. Again, thank you for your input, truly means a lot.
I also appreciate you that even though you say I shouldn’t have hope (like most douche bags on other sites would say, as they just say “man up, move the fuck on”), you still provided motivation to work on myself and learn to live a good life without thinking about my wife ever coming back. You’re not one of those douche bags so I really appreciate your support.
For me, hope isn’t lost. Miracles happen every day and I get that it’s either in the cards for you or it’s not. I completely understand, but I’m not ready to give up hope yet and my divorce is still processing and anything could happen from this point and on. I still have open communication with my wife and this past Sunday I asked her twice for hugs and it restored my faith in ever thinking that she’s gone forever.
The main thing I will have to think about and see if I might be able to deal with her coming back after being with other men. I don’t doubt that she could come back, I doubt weather or not I will be able to bring myself to get past of the thought of her being with other men. I had her for 7 years all to myself and knowing that played a big part in the love and passion I had for her.
For me hope is not lost and I’m sorry that many people feel the need to say that to others. They don’t know what possibilities are possible. I’m a believer in God and she is also, her parents are actually very hardcore non denominational Christians and they tell her that they don’t believe in divorce and our situation is more that fixable but she’s not willing to put in the work.
I get it, I sound like some desperate fool, but I could give two sh*ts, I’m in no contact, not bugging her, or harassing her, and even when I saw her this past Sunday, I know she got the glimpse of the change I’ve made so far. She’s the love of my life and if I focus on myself and let her be and give her my absence, I have hope for us. Whether there is actual hope or not, I could careless because I’m still moving forward with a mindset that’s if I pray, God will either help soften my wife’s heart toward me or he will present me someone far better than I could ever imagine especially during this painful time.
Rory even said it in his video, there’s i difference between moving on and letting go. I’m moving on but if she ever decides to come back and actually put in some work to build a new foundation for us, awesome. If it never happens, so what. Ill continue to better myself and attract another woman.
I leave it to God to decide when I pray. If he believes I deserve her and deserve the one last opportunity with the love of my life, then he’d probably seen how hard is worked on myself. If someone else comes along, that could be his way of tell me that there’s someone else out there.
Again Axel I really appreciate you and your support. 7+ years married to her and not initiating the divorce and begging and pleading during separation, and all the memories we shared, and all of her family members who support me and wish for reconciliation for me and my wife. I can’t give up hope yet man, still fresh for me. Maybe a year or two going by, hope will die and I’ll probably no longer what her back. I am bettering myself, giving her my absence, and all I have to do is be patient.
Thanks again man.
Trust me bro, I know there’s so many amazing woman out there who could blow my wife out of the water when she’s compared to them and I no way is she spectacular and irresistible, but I married her because of love for her and all of her even all her flaws and all her imperfections. I married and devoted myself to this woman and I still hold true to that devotion still. Maybe devotion might die down as time goes on and I start dating myself.
My wife is perfect in my eyes, every speck of her is perfect in my eyes. If I could go back and slap my mouth shut and not say things to push her to fall out of love, i’d Do it 50 times to get myself right in the head and not do something that would jeopardize her being in my life. But shit happens and all I can do is better myself.
Everyone I talk to feels like I’m putting my life on hold for her and just waiting around for her to come back. Hell no!!! I’m working on myself more than ever for me because whether I get my wife back or not, there will be someone out there who would love to be with me.
So again to make it clear, I’m moving on with my life, no contact, losing weight, in college full time, seeking therapy from military issues, socializing more with random people at school to build friendships as me and my wife were introverts and just loved our own bubble and we were each other’s best friends but I still made sure to show her that intimacy which continued that attraction for each other and my God was the sex great, lol. (Thanks to me) ahaha, not being cocky at all.
I just wish I had the power to do more and to see the things that she would need to have her back in my arms right away. Patience is a bitch but I am hopeful.
If you're truly moving on with your life then I see no problem, but I would really recommend watching Corey Wayne's videos. There's more than you think about a relationship. I know I'm in rory's channel but Corey helped me a lot as rory did. Please invest time in Corey's videos and if you could, download audible and buy his book, they give it to you for free if you use they 30 day trial. I know I sound a little harsed and cold telling you to give hope but as you may know, we are energy (is my opinion, no an actual fact) and I think when we still grabbing that hope and forcing it to stay, we create a bad connection and energy. When we let go of the mindset that she'll come back, that's when she feels you're moving on and she starts to wonder if she made the right decision. I know is hard to trust me, I know I'm a little kiddo of 18 years old, but i was in your place and I didn't lose hope believing that by doing that she'll comeback. I'm not trying to force thing upon you, or to obligate you to follow them. Im just a little fella trying to give you my experience so you can take the best of this and apply it to your life.
PS. Watch Corey Wayne too, believe me, it will help you a lot.
Just remember bro, Nice guys do not win this battle. Not telling you to be a jerk, but you have to become an alpha, which means you have to love yourself more than anyone else, you have to understand that things happened for a reason. You have to learn to let go and keep moving forward, being the best version of yourself improving everyday. Being an alpha means, following your purpose, your passion, your dreams no matter what. Do not put someone else in front of your mission, that's not right. I did that myself and I lost everything. If things work out, send me a DM because I want to celebrate with you hahaha, and if things don't workout, you need to keep moving forward. You're not alone, you may not even know me, but if you feel alone don't mind sending me a message. I'll give you my insta @axelotr.
You can do it bro, whatever happens, believe that all of this happens for a reason. Im truly grateful that my ex dumped me, even if I lover till death, even if I gave my life for her I'm glad that happened because now I'm a beast, I'm the best version I can be of myself and I know there's still a long way to improve. I'm following my dream I left, I'm making a new life and I'm happy. Just please remember that everything happens for a reason. Stay strong my man, you're beast and at the end of the day you gotta be happy. I wish the best!!!!
I have a situation I need advice on: my ex broke up with me a week ago after a 3 year relationship saying she was confused and didn’t know what to do but I begged for 3 days to stay together which didn’t work so I waited around 4 days an send “Hey, sorry I was acting the way I did a few days ago. That wasn’t me. I honestly feel just as stressed about other things in my life too and it won’t happen again. Wish you well.” She responded “It’s okay, I’ve been bitchy and angry lately too, I think it’s just stress and trying to deal with emotions. “ I then said “I’m open again to try again in the future but my mind has changed a lot sense we talked last and I need to work on myself for me and if I move on I move on” which she than said “That’s exactly where I’m at, focus on myself and ensure that I’m happy, let time heal a little bit and then if we find each other we find each other” Did I blow my chances of getting back together and will no contact work?
She was my world. The people i trusted betrayed me. Thats the part that hurts the most.
I miss us.
Hallo Rory... please can you make more viedioes about rebound.. you make one long ago but I like the way you explain everything ... thanks a lot
I’m moving on from my ex-girlfriend after I initiated the breakup, it’s gonna five months now since then we haven’t contacted each other…. Throughout that time I often wonder if she’s thinking about me or just wants another guy to handle her expenses to be honest I think she’ll get into a rebound relationship which can or won’t last long and I’m not interested in any girl now because I’ll end back at square one, what bothers me is if she’s hurting or trying not let this breakup get to her without me having an influence to it since I’m just moving on with my life naturally.
Is feeling lonely a part of missing during No Contact?
Yeah
Always looking forward to your content Rory. Thank you!
What if my ex constantly sends me Snapchats but nothing else? How should this be taken? Thank you so much for all your videos by the way !!
I'm a little more calm since the initial breakup. She said she needed space and that between everybody else, her friends, family and me, telling her she needs work, that she needs a break. But she did emphazise me as if I was the crux of the matter. Did she have the same conversation with the family and close friends too?? We talked on the phone on and off for a few days. She called me a week later. I hit her up right off the bat about getting together. She was genuinely pleased to hear my voice. She called me back a week later and said she wanted to meet up and go hang out. We did do it. We had a great time but she really was full of herself. Like she was Queen Sheeba and that nothing could touch her. It was if she was on fire and there wasn't enough water on the planet to douse the flames. Anyway she's supposed to be going back to some technical school for trainging and she might fill me in somewhere along the way. We last saw each other 08/25/2019. I haven't heard a peep from her and I've been 'radio silent' the whole time. Not a peep either. So we shall see what the future holds. I sympathize with her but I'm the prize here. I'm getting better by the day. :)
I can't believe that I'm up at 3am even thinking about this. Smh it's only been 1 month but still I'm ready to put him behind.0
Hi Rory I just want pain to end!
Plz plz plz reply 🙏🙏
My ex n I dated for 3 months.. He felt head over heels but after 6 weeks he started behaving anxious n started sabotaging the rs by searching for things he dislike.. Even in my 7 years past 😳... He told someone there are feelings.. But later I used to behave to pushy bcauze of his energy.
He told me tht I am special to him n always will be.. He didn't wanna lose me. He was so scared.. Still have to assume tht he got a lot of issues...
But I was the very first real try of rs after beeing 1,5 years separated of his ex wife. His heart vanished n he said I made him feel it again..
At the end I did 2 much to pamper him.. . Lost myself n self-respect.. I acted like my ex before..
(I dumped him n later reached out)
5th December he dumbed me.. Telling me he can't feel the same n felt like talking to his loved cousin.. Or maybe it's just tht we need time to realize..
But he want me in his life... As friend... He cried often.. N struggled around 1,5 months leaving me bcauze of my pure heart.. Now I take it as a compliment.. But first I felt betrayed!
I helped him a lot n supported him mentally. He said I was the second woman he trusted tht fast (xcept his mom)
He thanked me to make him see a few things different than he used to but he hope I respect his decision tht he have to clear his things first before including new ppl..
Well
3 days later he dated a old friend n had sex with her..He felt like.. Maybe they just passed by all the years.. Lol.... He searches for the light moments.. I saw his soul which needs professional help but he just want the gud moments..
He told me 1 week later. He hope tht I find someone who love me the way I am.. It won't be him.. 💔 He felt a Lil shame 2 bcauze after his wife left him (toxic rs) he started isolation n drinking. N now he just seemed to get a rebound right away.. N she came just out of a rs 2!! I donno about them these days.. Donno if they are dating. Donno about her looks either! But first I felt like I am not worthy to wait.. But maybe it's also a compliment for me tht he tried to replace me tht fast? Donno..
At Christmas he texted me n said thanks for my calender I made by my own n he hope tht we remain friends..
I didn't reply to this.
He still got me on fb. BUT
After I went out to dance (27th12) n posted a picture in whatsapp, it seemed like he just deleted my number 😳 n I have no clue why.. He is half Cuban n very temperamentally..
Wht could tht mean??
Once he said he stopped running after ppl. Now me a lil worried tht he won't contact again..
I truly hope he realizes wht I gave him.. N tht we had gud chances. But it was difficult bcauze our anxietys
I am working on it n thtswhy I came 2 know about it n my behaviors tht fast.. But he don't like psychology.. He have less self love n confidence but act like a Macho.. N I showed him also his problems n maybe he needs someone who always tell him how awesome he is
Ppl told me he is just a player bla bla bla.. Even a other Cuban guy who know him.. But I met his very best friend n I saw his soul a Lil.. He used to be pure with me.. But his problem is to articulate problems.. We could help us to grow.. But he continues looking for the light things..
Years back I met someone similar to him.. N I know he couldn't forget me till now. But he stopped contact bcauze :'u see how often I treated u badly' but once I got a letter..
Somehow I touch them.. But still they search for toxic rs..
Do u think he may overthink? What would you think why did he just delet my number after seeing this picture? N I am still hurt by words he said to me.. When should I mention this?
Do you think all this stuff works if the ex (dumper) has an avoidant attachment style? I mean, I do know that NoContact works with them, for sure it does, but what I mean is that all this stuff that you said here, do you think it all usually applies too for avoidant people? Thank you, wise and motivational channel.
My stbx said when we were NC he was "So happy" as he could go to movies and basically he could be a kid again and all his money and time is spent on fun. He actually used the word "I feel like I am on vacation". I am stuck at home with two kids and caring for everyone and everything and doctors appointments everyday. Made me feel mad and hurt as I have no vacation and I don't get to sleep in or have a vacation, but I do have the kids and they are worth more than anything. I hope he is feeling these feelings as this is the first time he has bought our kids gifts on a holiday. He had ten years to do something nice and be nice and keep his promises and NOW he wants to keep all these promises he made for years. I'm not buying. He had opportunities galore and didn't care or do anything until it was too late and the damage to our trust and my kids trust in their father was gone. He never once thought to get them a valentines gift until he had nothing but time on his hands and he can keep all of that lonely time.
Does nc work when the breakup was caused by external factors? (Stress, depression and long distance)
Dealt with that. It's hard, I wanted to stay but then I was pushed away, ignored, discarded. Can't support someone who is not willing to get professional help or not helping herself. I hope she heals and focus on self growth. Then maybe if she really wants me she will reach out. 🙂💞🙏
Same here! I was her outlet for all her problems!
Holy fuck so i got insecure over her getting back in contact with her exes, i learned to accept it because i didn’t want to be controlling and trusted her that she no longer loved them and she didn’t have a lot of friends, she said how she kept stalking one of her exes to see if he was online a few weeks back which i found very strange, they talked for a few weeks and then she left me after i got jealous over her new guy friends (i blame myself not her) am i overthinking this or could she have done what this video says (they broke up like 1 and a half years ago but recently got back in contact). Im just trying to figure out what went wrong and if she caught feelings for him again. Just kinda crossed my mind but maybe she was just trying to be friends (she has a couple of exes that she has friendships with and wanted me to speak to them etc)
My ex keep our relationship as a secret for almost 7 years from her family just because we have different religion . Now she dumped me, i know she meet new person but she just dont wanna admit . For 3 weeks im asking for explanation but what i get just “fuck off” and etc etc bad words . I never thought she will treat me like that . Its been two weeks i never contact her and think she’s happy now with other guy . The most selfish person i ever love and still care about her .
Pretty strange feeling here.. I realised that i now know both sides of the force. I broke up after 8 years even if i still had feelings (first gf) because relationship wasnt working , and know i am the dumpee after 2 years (second gf) .. I can actually relate on both sides
what does the ex feels about you when they cheated and left you for the person ? can you make a video of this as well
Was in that spot many years ago. Keep working on yourself and don't blame yourself for what happened. Karma will take care of it for you. Hope you're doing well.
I can probably answer that. I left my ex for another, never slept with anyone while dating her. But did leave for another and she knew I did. I actually felt relieved and happy, but it did hit. Still does, and this was a toxic relationship. So even that was hard to do, I don't claim to be perfect for leaving. But I knew I couldn't stay.
I don't think NC work on somebody who left after 10 years saying we are too different (crying while breaking up) and in reality having someone else waiting for him, I would have put my hand in the fire- this sure i was about his honesty. Been in NC from the day one (this happened 5 weeks ago)...it shattered my heart. I know he won't return, I just wan't to find a way to start healing and find a will to live my life.
4:49 the timing of a Cex advert has never been more perfect
How bad is it to not be posting happy/fun stuff on your social media? I'm about a month and a half into NC and I've pretty much stopped using my social media. Not entirely due to her; I just haven't really wanted/needed to.
It isn't bad. This is consider radio silence while also doing NC. Basically you fell off the Earth. In some cases it's speeds up the anxiety in your ex. It's a strategy used by a lot of people.
Im currently A month through a break up, focus on your self, not what there doing keeo active and busy...if you have kids like me just contact for them only at night times to say good night, eventually you see they reach out to you, just be nice ☺ show your not dwelling on the past and they realise your in a better place than what they left you, put it this way she wants to meet up in a few days, and I started begging at the beginning also btw!
My ex and I have the same group of friends. Ive been laying low working on me hitting the gym. Been on NC for 2 weeks. My question is she has unfriended me on snap and blocked me on Instagram about a week after we broke up. Now I'm waiting untill after Valentine's day to contact her that will be about 50 days just to check in. I plan on hanging out with our friends in early March. So the question is even if she doesn't reply what should I do when I do see her again? We broke up due to her not being emotionally equipped to be in a relationship and she said she needed to work on herself.
I met up with my ex. after her rebound ended...she decided she wants to be alone... after a while i asked show she was... her reply.... I'm enjoying my solitude... WTF... i guess its over... Dec 6 will be one year since she broke it off with me
Haha that's what she told me. She loves being alone but I don't think so. I can sense that she's going out with dudes
What if they got straight into another relationship? I doubt she is thinking about me whilst been snuggled up with the new guy
Odds are great that she was with him before breaking up with you. They rarely leave a solid relationship just to be alone. In most cases, they’ve found what they believe is a better option. Let her regret her decision by leaving her alone. If you were good to her, then she may reconsider. By then, however, you will most likely not want her back.
What youe ex is thinking during NC- not about you. They go on dates, they have sex with other people. Lets not kid ourselfs. If they've cared, they would have stayed. Someone that loves you does not leave you.
I didn’t strike when the iron was hot and I may have blown my chances BUT when my ex did reach out to me a few months ago there was just something about her text that felt off to me, her text was kind of manipulative so I went with my gut and just didn’t respond and honestly I think I made the right decision, I don’t think I want to get back together with her but I want her to want me back if that makes sense, it’s kind of a shitty feeling to have but oh well, do exes reach out multiple times if you don’t reply back?
Thank you good advice.
I have moved on we don't talk anymore. I deserve to be happy.
my partner of 9 years (married for 2), has just left me. he said i have been controlling, naggy and that he has compromised for the relationship more than i have, i now realise i took the relationship for granted, but so did he. i have done the mistake of begging and pleading and crying and saying i can't live without him to no avail at the time. I am currently 8 months pregnant. I am doing no contact , currently 2nd week now. and i havent heard from him except to ask when my next obstetrician appointment is.... he also said before he left that he no longer loves me the same way.... does he still loves me? does he miss me? is no contact working? he is very stubborn - will he reach out??
leaving u at this stage is so unmanly thing he did... btw is it a boy or a girl ?
It doesn't help when he unfolows me
I never usually post on social media but a its been almost 2 weeks after the breakup and ive been posting neutral/positive stuff on my snap stories where i workout and stuff. Is that good? Should i continue?
You should just focus on your life and not worry what your ex thinks. They didn't value you enough to want to spend their time with you. Guess what, there are TONS of people who would love to be with you! Let go and meet those people
Go mysterious for a couple months
Hi Rory can I ask Long distance relationships are they thinking the same too thank
Yea I want to know that too?
U had a brake up, but your ex is posting pictures that she took at your place while in the relationship and at the same time, posting messages that's she has decided to let it go coz she don't want to get hurt more. What does this implies?
He has blocked me on what app & messenger, M on NC, since 10days, I hv removed my picture from fb whatsapp, he's on skype list ihv removed my picture from Skype profile as well. I hvnt removed him & he too. This time its enough, I love alot but he doesn't value. I'll be quite even if he contacts
how is it going
I was in a 5 year relationship. We have been through think and thin with me being in the millitary for a year and working abroad for about 6 months, she was always supportive and patient. Due to me expressing uncertainty about the future one day, I was feeling down, she snapped. It was like she became another person in a matter of weeks. She ended up breaking it off. After a few failed attempts to get her back I quickly went into no contact. She broke NC on day 36. we met up that day, 3 hours, and she told me she wanted me back but I told her that I was only partially interested since she broke my trust. She said she would make a huge effort ect. I called her the next day because I felt I was abit harsh,given that I negglected her slightly in the relationship, opened up abit and started getting resistance from her. I panicked, called her, tried to set a date to meet up, again she acted flaky so told her good luck with her life. I sent her a text 2 hrs later saying "sorry about today Im a little confused". In NC again. What now ?
had this situationship for a month, dude wasn't good in communication and we had a few conversations about it and he didn't step up/ he didn't like me as much. Broke it off with him 3 days ago and damn, it hurts so much noww
What if I was the rebound guy in the situation? My ex ended a 5 year relationship in January after being cheated on, and then we got together in March. My ex broke up with me at the beginning of July and she's not reached out at all, other than once to arrange returning our things almost right away. I didn't beg or plead at all during the breakup and did the "let me know if you change your mind" chat. The fact that I've heard nothing in all that time and I'm pretty sure she's with someone else, leaves me thinking the odds aren't great...
Not to crush your hope, but you being a rebound doesn't do a lot to help your case. It's entirely possible that her feelings for you never ran that deep and once she experienced what being with you was like, it fizzled out. The best thing you can do is keep NC and work on moving on. In the best case scenario she comes back and you will be in a good place.
she went back to her ex? Or you don't know who she went back to?
@@BlackLabelSlushie Her ex lives in another country now and is dating the girl he cheated with. I don't think she's gone back to him.
It's just a hunch I've got that she's with someone else, not confirmed.
OK. Well good luck!
i may have posted too much fun stuff on facebook. so after 2 weeks i was unfriended and on instagram as well
arsjth I got Unfriended after my first post 😄 it was just a selfie
@@JP-wo7yb I'm told that seeing you enjoying yourself can be too painful for them.
my ex reached out a week after that.
These videos have helped me alot. I'm just starting no contact. Just got yourself a new subscriber
Am I doing this backwards. Because I deactivated all of my social media accounts.
I was broken up with just over 6 weeks ago, and I handled it pretty moderately, found out that she started dating a guy she knew from work about a a week and a half after our break up (which she likely lined up i.e. grass is greener)
Though again, I handled it good
I didn't do any major amount of pleading, and didn't really beg, but I did facebook stalk, and she had posted pictures she tagged her new date in (he wasn't in the picture, it was just with him)
For background information, me and her always planned on riding up the STL Arch, as it would have been my first time, after the break up however, as a sort of celebration to myself I decided to take myself to the Arch on what would have been our 1 year anniversary and the day before my birthday.
She knew I was going there that day, as I had posted it on my facebook (that I was doing it for my birthday) and she commented "happy birthday" yet she took her new bf there the same day I went... (She had also taken her mom somewhere I went, the day after she knew I went, and made sure that I knew she did)
Anyway, I obviously got heated and so I sent her a message basically critiquing her, as she had asked before why I never critiqued her during the break up, so I took that shot. Obviously in poor judgememt.
As you can expect, she got mad, messaged and then blocked me on messanger, though she did not delete me as a friend on facebook, nor block me there.
I have been no contact since then, only a week and a half and I could easily keep going, however, should I send one last "happy holidays, I feel I've been a jerk, we both did some dumb things, hope you are well" type of text to help clean the slate for her for future communications?
I will obviously not reply to what ever message she replies with, if any, though this way no contact can have a better effect on her, maybe open her up to stalking my facebook again? Then in the future if she contacts, I can follow up as you normally suggest?
I hope you did not send anything. The point of no contact is to work on yourself while being disciplined enough not to send messages to clear the slate
Hi Love Chat. You are amazing! Can't get enough of you. I am pregnant with his child. He kicked me and child 9 year old out of his house while visiting. He hates my son. We live 80 miles from each other. I was 10 weeks pregnant at that time. I asked him what he wants to do with the prangancy. He said it's up to me. I couldn't kill the baby. I haven't told him that I am keeping the baby. It's has been five weeks since the breakup. Should I continue to do no contact?
This doesn't apply to me because my ex is a pathological liar.
What if you don't use social media at all?
I just responded to the same ? In video #59 check it out
I am going true alot im pregnant and he leave me and living his life and after two month he pass by and asking me if i came out a car wtf
How to cope with the fact if the dumper feels really guilty?
Can you do a video on no contact when children are involved. My situation is very difficult because I look after my children at our old house while my ex goes to work in the evening. And when she comes home I go back to my mum and dads. I don’t want my children’s lives to be affected because of this break up so that’s why I do this
I handled the breakup so bad and embarrassingly for a week... then I stopped and now I feel good. This happened at the beginning of the month, and was all over social media... 😳 even made videos on IG of me singing and playing guitar... but I did that before I met her, and fell back in love doing it so now I’m doing that.
Is been almost four year my ex have walk away with out no closure and leave all his belongings and never pick up . I Try to connect but he block me fro all the media . Do you have any idea why " he walk out
he's with me now bro
Coach can we hear from a person that had the NC done on them?
Great audio it gave me more encouragement. Again thank you.
I do have one slight issue with the absence makes the heart grow fonder statement. Have been told by certain coaches that it only works when your in a relationship or friends, not after a break up. Can you please shed your perspective on this? Many thanks.
great advise rory, been following your stuff for a while.
She kept unblocking me and blocking me for 4 months, then I just completely blocked her. Was blocking her a good move to make her more curious ? 🤔
update
Hey Rory wanted your opinion on something and maybe even a video topic ? What if my ex thinks I’m dating someone else during no contact and knowing her she doesn’t want to reach out because of that. Your thoughts ?
What if we were in contact for three months after the break up then I went no contact I’m on day 20 I’m not going to contact ever again could it still be effective? I know it’s knot guarantee but she thought I wasn’t going to ever stop contacting her but you gave me the strength and I’m sticking to it .we was together for three years by the way.
Hey bro how's the situation? I was also in contact with my ex for 1 and half months after she broke up with me in end of Oct . I've been in no contact for 1 month. We were together for 4 years
My bf broke up with me this sunday, he said he was tired of me, and didnt wanted anything anymore with me, when he said that i got desperate and begged him to give me another chance (he broke up some other time before but we got back together right after) and he stil said no and for me to move on, but ever since then i have been feeling a lot of pain and just yesterday i sended him another message bc i didnt liked the way we broke up so i changed my words to him and said goodbye, im rlly hopefull that one day he might comeback but it scares me bc he might find someone else or that he already had eyes for someone else...i am trying to avoid any contact with him but it hurts me to see him online in social media, i was told to move on with my life and do things for myself wich is what im trying to do but i still think about him and want him...i really dont know if i should do my life, get myself better with hopes of him comming back or just try to forget about him once and for all...?
Love your work man I had been watching the con artist side of breakup videos for the longest time before I found you.
My ex reached out at 1:30am after out anniversary just saying "its the 23rd" "Well it was" and I just replied "Yeah it was hope you had a good day"
I know you council trying to set a date but it was only 3 weeks into no contact after two weeks of begging and pleading followed by two weeks of begrudging hangouts and cold behavior. I decided to wait for a more meaningful contact and to give me more time to work on myself. Let me know if that puts me in the position to reach out your input is appreciated
updates to share?
Everytime I do NC my ex calls or text me what should I do.
I cant believe after 4yrs im here again
How do u get a ex's back but she is with someone does she miss u
My ex doesn’t use social media of any kind, 50 years old.... There is anyway to associate me in anyhow. I don’t think he will ever reach out. He was sooo cold, not even my clothes he sent to me. And to make matter worse, he lives in another city.
Same, he has no social media and long distance
Thanks this is tru. I am in contact for 4 month now she never reached out. Thanks
So my ex went to talk to her ex before me during NC and then after like 2-3 months of that loser filling my void he drops him again for a new guy and now is apparently happily in love with him. So I guess I should totally forget about her?
No contact...for 6 weeks..and still going..he just liked my post yesterday.. he can read my posts and enjoy in my absence..Ive got many other friends all over the 🌎..and he knows it..😂😂😂😂
What if they left you because they felt neglected and such, and then you go no contact and they already wanted a break?