Thanks for this link too. Can you consider a video about a mutual breakup? I know that it may never be 100% mutual but in my case i ended it (apparently) a day before she was going to end it. We both had enough but now i want my ex back.
You and coach Lee are the only two coaches that make any sense to me and care about us with honest knowledge, wanting us to succeed with our ex or not. Id 100% pay for a coaching call but currently giving my ex all my money to help her with her bills and down payment on new car(she just totaled it) 3 more weeks she will have $3k from me and I'll be able to afford it
i dont understand how they could just leave u in the dirt and never look back? especially when it was them who initiated everything and professed their damn love!
I can relate. Mine more or less dragged me into a relationship, I had some concerns, but she wouldn't accept a no until I commited. She told me all the stuff, how much she loved me, how much she cared about me, how I was the only one she really trusted and wanted to spend her life with me. I tried to be cautious, but at some point I just fell so hard for that girl I started to really commit. I did so much for her, helped her with anxciety issues, body insecurities, family problems, I motivated her to pursue her dreams and goals. Then I had some psychological problems and hoped for her support, but she started distancing herself, meeting new people, and forming the idea there could be more and better for her. Despite all this we spent an awesome weekend together where she told me how much I meant to her, how she wanted me to protect her, be her partner for life. 2 weeks later she dumped me with the typical "grass is greener" syndrome, her new "friends" convinced her she could do better, and she became very distant and cold, it just hurts. I know feelings can change, and love should be unconditional,but after investing so much, I just feel used and thrown away.
@Lee It really is disgusting on many levels. The funny thing is, mine already sorta came back once. We used to be friends, and I had a crush on her, but she was with someone else. At some point it hurt too much and I kinda went my way. Then out of nowhere, a couple of months later she came back and wanted a relationship soon after. I was torn, but ultimately fell. She is so naive and easily manipulated by others. I managed to doge some bullets while we were together, and I tried to make her being more careful, but she interpretated it as me cuting her freedom and felt stuck. I can guarantee you they will always come back in one form or another as soon as they learn the grass isn't all that greener. But then what. I still care deeply about her, but she hurt me a lot already too, it just sucks.
@Lee That absolutely sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Mine didn't ignore me for so long, but there was other stuff. As I said, she can be easily manipulated and is naive, but she also loves the attention and is very open for it, there were some incients that, while not cheating, definitely were crossing borderd and could have lead into cheating if I didn't interfiere. But what hurts the most were all the broken promises. I'm aware you should take "I'll love you forever" or "I'll marry you" with a grain of salt, but there were also a lot of little promises she kept breaking. The biggest one was that we'd be honest, especially if we'd fall out of love. She wasn't. She kept sweettalking me to the last moment, then took a 180° and reveiled that some stuff was a lie. Which lead to me now in retroperspective not knowing what was genuine and what a lie, it just sucks and hurts. I really don't know what to do if she comes back. All logic screams "run", but I never loved someone so deeply, and the relationship would be workable if she'd just would communicate and commit properly. I will heal some day, but it will take time and effort. Good luck to you mate, no one deserves this, and as much as it hurts, there is a future, we're not alone.
Accurate 100%. I made it guys. No Contact does wonders. Time will take off the rose tinted glasses and you will see your ex for who they really are. Keep up the no contact and love yourself and your life. Always love you more than you love someone else.
"You've lost a person, but maybe you've gained your best self" Best line I've ever heard and that's what currently happening to me right now. Thanks Rory 😁
Thanks Rory for saying "don't judge yourself on any timeline". For people like me, who have a freaking MASSIVE memory for details and remember every single word a stranger said 10 years ago, it's a lot more difficult to forget or think less about an ex.
Been told I have a good memory too (comes in handy in school). This has translated to calculating the time to get over her as multiplying the time in relationship by 2. So two year relationship will take four years to get over them.
I've noticed after 2 months of no contact I have begun to have uneasy dreams about my ex. It's almost like my subconscious is trying to work out or sort out the break up. 😐🤔🤢
Man it's been only 2 weeks and 2 days ago the dreams have started and its horrible, like I just want to fucking sleep and not think about her, but my brain it like, ya nope, let's have 5 dreams about her in 1 night...
So true Rory. I was 5 month no contact... doing well... reflecting on how I was treated like an option to stay in no contact. Got easier with time... then one evening out of the blue... I lost my mind and reached out 😩 we stayed in touch for months but absolutely nothing came of it other than wasted time and more heartache. Almost 2 months in “again” and won’t blow it this time. I have no time to waste on people who are unsure if they want to be with me or not. I’m a good man who deserves much better.
@@tukku4417 I know you “shouldn’t” lol, she contacted me just seeing how I was doing with the pandemic and all. Indirect/direct approach. Maybe just something short like “hey, with all this pandemic stuff, I was wondering how you’re holding up. Hope you’re well.” Something along those lines. Maybe she will just say I’m good thanks... in that case I would leave it there, but hopefully she asks the same about you and that could lead into a conversation.
Best way to get over an ex is one word ! ANIMALS!! Go rescue a guni pig, a cat, ANYTHING!!! THEY ARE THE ONLY LOYAL SPECIES OUT THERE!! YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR HEART BROKEN, UNTIL HE OR SHE DIES BUT THATS LIFE!!
It's been more than 2 months and it's been a roller coaster for real. Now I don't want my ex back. Like the newest video of Dating Guy how to stop putting your ex on the pedestal is true. He's just another person that everyone else finds so god damn normal, but somehow he meant so much to me. But now I'm getting better emotionally and physically meanwhile he's just lazy and gains weight lol. Since I started online dating again I realised that I have so many options and these people are even better looking than my ex hahaha. Boy bye 👋
Reaching month 4. Was doing OK until this past weekend I saw my ex with the rebound hiking in the same park I took her to her a lot and they end up parking in the same space that we used to. I saw them in the parking lot pretty sure they saw me but not sure. It’s set me back and trying to push forward as hard as it is. Your assessment on this was pretty spot on for me.
I’m 6 months in. I hit a wall, exactly how Rory explains it. You begin to really miss them, and start to wish that things could be worked out. However, I had 6 months of experiences and coping mechanisms that are allowing me to get through it. I received an email from our wedding venue to let us know that we are getting a refund, and yes it hurt, but I pushed through it, journaled my thoughts and jumped on some Call of Duty after a day of knocking out homework. She made a decision that flipped our lives upside down. She gets to deal with that decision now. I’ve already adjusted. It gets better.
I'm going through a break up at 5 months mark now. It definitely was horrible and a roller coaster experience for me like how the video described. I had been feeling great about myself and my process on how i had done. I felt i didnt need my ex back anymore or how i could live my life normally again. Then boom, one day i felt so depressed and lonely like something was pressing against my chest. I knew that i'm falling backward so i decided to accept it and got it out by crying. I knew i dont want to hold it back but had to face it. And it did help me a lot. Hopefully, by 6 or 7 months, i could feel way better than I am right now like the love chat described. I'm really looking forward to it to actually live my life again without worrying about my ex and start dating other people.
I’m at 4 month mark and I’m hurting like hell ! I was ok last month but I’m spiraling down. I think im in shock that we no longer talk. I never thought that she wouldn’t never not be in each other’s lives. This sucks!
It’s been 35 days since the breakup. I feel better, it’s only difficult on weekends when I’m not distracted by work. So I’ve resorted to occupying myself by seeing friends as much as possible. As long as I have company, I don’t feel bad
I agree. Just to let you know that playing your videos and hearing your advices every now and then has helped me a lot. It's been more than 4mos since the breakup and I'm feeling better. Thank you so much! Love this one. God Bless.
this video was amazing. I'm going through the stages exactly as you list them. Thank you. It's nice to know that a lot of the rollercoastering is NORMAL. Falling back into the black hole is the hardest part. Especially if you feel like it will never end.
As I have an excellent memory, listening to this video was like watching a slow-motion video, where you were talking and all the pictures of my stages were in front of me. You have described all the stages precisely. Just wow. You are pro, Rory!
Magnet for success has 2 great videos: 1) stages of a breakup for the dumper And 2) stages of a breakup for the dumpee They’re both great videos and give hope to the dumpee
This video was spot on. I thought to myself today, that I am feeling so much better and realized I don't think of him as much (the guy from our personal session). I have experienced the 'out of nowhere' feeling with a previous ex and I was disappointed in myself at the time because all I kept thinking was that I had past that stage. Thanks for letting me know its normal and so I wont be alarmed if it happens with this ex.
I hated it when my eyes cried and my heart ached. Because it was annoying to cry for so long many weeks. Having those episodes of crying attacks. Like I was mad for crying but couldn’t avoid it. 🙁
Great advice. Helps to understand things much better in addition to your positive outlook that help push toward being the best version of myself. I thank you for your insight and help you give everyone. Keep it going!
Rory, it's like you were describing my timeline! The mistake I did, is that I did not start hitting the gym until after 2 months. This is probably one of my favorite videos now! Thank you so much! I hope after 6-7 months, with hard work, to be fully healed! But, I will take your advice and not compare myself and follow my own timeline.
I don’t feel alone when I listen to your videos...it’s officially been a month, I’m going crazy, and yes I’m hyper aware of time. I’m still trying to get over that it’s happening. That he left, some days I’m mad and ready to let go, but definitely have low times. I have been journaling, running, watching inspirational videos. Etc. I really like that you gave time lines for these examples because it’s so true and it reminds me, that, I’m not crazy or alone for feeling the way I am.
Great video :) I went through every stage in the first week and then I started to feel all of them for longer periods of time. It has now been 2 months and even though I am feeling a bit better I do have many moments (it feels like a relapse almost). For me the key is to allow myself to feel it so I can grieve and then to try to change those thoughts into affirmations about myself and where my life is at. Writing your thoughts down helps so much as does music and exercise.
Thanks to Rory and Dating Guy. Best combo on the internet for getting you through a bad time. Best of all, they're giving great advice and not preying on your emotions (i.e. extracting money from you). Keep it up Rory (and DG)
What reminds me of them sometimes is when I try to meet a girl (online dating, or in person) and realize how hard it will be to find someone as beautiful as she was....
We all think that. We reflect what we feel for that person, in them. However, you will find someone better. I promise you. There is always someone better.
It's different for me everytime I get over someone and when I met these new guys I think my ex(es) is so average like sometimes I don't understand why I fell for him head over heals before...
@@quinn599 I agree totally. Every time I think about dating another woman, I pick them apart. Its ok, i!t is my brain telling me it is not time yet. My ex and i were fantastic. We went on a vacation, came home and she ghosted me with one text that she needed to heal. GONE. This was after we talked about getting engaged during the vacation. ???????? Work on yourself and make you the best you can be. Do it for you, not them. Any benefits you get from them will be the gravy on the meal of success. It will happen. Not sure when, but it will happen.
I enjoy all the videos on here but I'm glad I finally listened to this one in particular. I could not figure out why after I was doing ok I just completely tanked about 4 months in. I could not get him out of my head and was a wreck. My friends were well meaning but told me I was essentially nuts and dragging it out. I'm EXTREMELY glad to know this is relatively normal and I'm not alone. Thanks!!
Rory you gave me a bit of relief, I am on month 3 and I still feel so so down. I was thinking of perhaps going to the doctors and getting medication. Everyone has been telling me that it has been too long now and I should be moving on. I think in my case excluding all medication would not be a great idea but you at least made me feel less guilty and stupid about how I am feeling. I thought I should be good by now because that's what everyone keeps telling me. And since he moved on within a month and seems to be doing great...it confused me even more! (don't think I will ever truly understand how people do that). Thank you for this video!
Taking a step back whenever I'd be triggered by someone or something and really observing was probably one of the best things I did during those downhill days or weeks. This video nailed that rollercoaster ride. One minute everything is fine and the next, it's like all hell broke loose. But, when you take a step back and observe when you become sad or upset by something, you learn about yourself so you can correct it. As Rory said, it should be non judgemental--- this process is about healing and learning so you owe it to yourself to be self compassionate. Cheers!
Awesome Great Read of Advice and Suggestions I know now the stages of an Emotional Rollercoaster and how I been through it all without the understandings, I am on one right now with 100% NO CONTACT!...I do feel the Power Of Loving Me!
I listened to this a few month back. I was still in the chaos of loss /grief of losing my 26 yr LTR. Looking back, I couldnt take this in, then. I relistened today. Now I can realize the essence of this information properly. Im 8 months in, and only 3 days ago, upon waking, a definite shift seemed to occur ( though I had been getting less 'grief attacks' progressively over the months, with N Contact). The point here: you may not be ready for some of the advice, it wont sink in, but come back to it, remind yourself. Also, Rorys advice, as well as Dating Guys, is definitely without primary money motive, and the most authentic to saving yourself from the oblivion that a breakup can thrust on you.
Thank you,Roy for this new year vid. Came out at such perfect time😢. This is so helpful. I am a dumpee atm and just broke up with my bf less than a month. Still hurt like emotional rollercoaster yes but I'm trying really hard to be as productive as possible everyday. I've been trying to hit the gym more often than I used to do when I was in the relationship. Basically wanna be even more fitn Also, I try journaling, it's fun and healing for sure. I just wanna try to focus on my own self now, no matter what happened in the future, I commit to myself to try to live the best version of myself. No matter what happened in the future, either my ex comes back or not, it wont matter to me so much cuz I define my own value and learn how to love myself better in order to love ppl better 😌😌😌
omg youve FOUND your BEST self. I love this guy. How fabulous is that. You know the last time I contacted my ex and broke no contact I told them there is a reason for everything. It was months ago. I said everyone comes into your life as a lesson or a blessing. It was liberating and true. At least they know they were one of the two (a lesson).
2 days ago i cried out loud i really missed him so bad yesterday's mood was like i felt a little good it was okay and today i hated him so much about the way he hurted me because i didn't deserve it 😒 not a good day that's all i have to say...
I never cried for any of my other ex before my current ex i can't remember the last time i cried but over this one I've cried so many times not like bad but tears down my face that i can't control. I know she's the one for me. My soulmate, twin flame i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It's been a little over 3 weeks. She broke up on me on our exact 8 month together June 17th
22 days of no contact, i broke it to ask her about a concert i gave her the pdf n still have them but i wanted to see if she was going cause if not ill use the tickets don't want them going to waste. Told her I'd really like her to go and if she can't find anyone I'd take her. Of course no reply made me feel 100x more sad n depressed i won't reach out again she wants to talk she can contact me. I'd suggest to never break no contact till they contact you first
Three and a half months on…and I’ve taken a crash….just like you said… out of nowhere…. “Where is she?” …and I was going pretty great. What set me off, was a beanie that she knitted for me. Yep! It was cold… put that beanie on my head… and whammy! Packing that beanie away.
I would like to thank Rory for all his videos. I fully moved on after my GIGS GF who Ive been with for 2 years on and off. Ready to date again. I deactivated my facebook and cried my ass off during the break up and now Im single and ready to mingle 💪
Just started journaling yesterday. It really helped give me an outlet to my thoughts that I could go back to instead of writing notes on my phone. I made the mistake of looking at her snap location (and won't again), but she was at a location that her ex frequents. Been about a week and a half NC. Still hurts to think that the person she wants to revert back to out of comfort is someone I was never okay with her speaking to casually, as a boundary of mine, as she wouldn't want me doing the same. Come to find out she told me her and him met the night before at her house in her room, the night we broke up to talk about a lot.. this was pretty hard for me as I felt so betrayed by the one person who I honestly saw as one of the most loyal people I had ever met. This really rattled my trust. Although she insisted they did nothing, the thoughts of "what if" consumed me for some time. They still do, but that's a pain that I'm keeping far away from my mind as much as possible. Your videos really have helped me prosper this much already, and I appreciate that you genuinely care for people and don't feed into the money hungry antics of some other channels. So thank you for that, regardless of what happens in my situation.
My ex broke with me 21st of Sept saying he didn't feel anything for me and he wanted to be with another girl(miles away, lesser than me and 8 years older - yuck), he texted for about 3 month. All in all we met and I thought we would be together because it felt so. Until he told me that he was going away to visit her. I felt used by him. I went on no contact - it was on 4th Nov. Time goes by, I survived Christmas, New Year - it was hard sometimes. I went to the hairdresser, bought some new clothes, shoes etc. I met my friends - sometimes it was hard when they asked me where he was(we used to go together everywhere). I watch thousand motivational videoes. I go to the gym three times a week - now it's 3rd month. Today all of a sudden I started crying and I couldn't stop - I miss him like hell. My best friend asked me why I didn't get over him yet. Thank you Rory - your video helped me understand that I'm not insane.
Dumpee always get the better outcome. They heal, improve what made the dumper walk and they either become more attractive in the eyes of the dumper or they attract someone even better. Quite often, both scenarios can occur, and the dumpee can then choose between them.
The thing that set me off today was a living couple on TV. It made me think of me and my Ex when things were good. I wanted to text him and apologise for things ending badly, but what I did instead was listen to Rory's video on clear slate eset messages. That brought me out if it, and I remained in no contact. 🍒
I remind you guys simply saying "OK, I UNDERSTAND" is so powerful when your ex tells you they they want to break up with you. I saw its proof at work yesterday. I had a small argument with my boss about my schedule which she made for me. And she said I should quit if I don't accept her scheduling. I simply answered: " OKAY". 15 minutes later she got back to my room and started to compromise. It was an amazing feeling.
Hello Rory, I know you may not see this but in a way writing what I am going through on your channel helps. It's been 4 1/4 after my break up, we live in a small town and we work together, not only that we live across the street from each other in employment flats. We tried to be friends the 1st 2 months but it was a hollow friendship that felt one way to me so I ended it and started NC. 2 months into no contact and I was feeling better, I am even sure that we are fundamentally incompatible unless some drastic sacrifices are made. I have begun meditating and listening to self help talks and reading books on letting go, forgiveness and compassion. Work is going well and I have made new friends and training for a marathon. I thought I was doing well. Then the dreaded trigger happened today, I saw him brought another woman to his place and he saw me saw it. A woman I know he has been spending a lot of time with after our break up. And I got a rude text from him saying it's just a friend. The rush of anger and despair felt like the first day. So I am back here listening to your video about the emotional rollercoaster. What I would like to know is if I should even reply to that text?
Everything you have said is true...7 months now & I want him back again....arghhhhhhh....I don’t have social media....I deleted his pictures off of my phone thank god......now I have to sell our home...all the memories...another step of the situation....I write a journal but haven’t done it for a while...maybe I’ll get back to it...thank you 🙏🏻
@Dzz Zz Oh he did come back, he came back in September (we broke up mid/end July) telling me how much he missed me, how much he thought about getting back together but actually only wanted to be friends, how much he thought about me, how much he just doesn't want to be strangers. October was spent dealing with breadcrumbs from him. I tanked hard on New Years day as mentioned earlier. I got back up, still slowly becoming me again. Do I still love him? Yes. But I don't even care if we get back together anymore, I just wanted to be cordial at the very least. I deserve better, whether it's someone better or a better relationship.
Hi Rory, really enjoy your channel. Keep up the good work! Ex dumped me via text 5 months ago stating ‘I should find someone who can devote more time’ (dated 1yr plus, he’s divorced and was recently out of a r’ship) Good chemistry/attraction between us and little conflict. I immediately went NC. He contacted me a few days later with an unrelated question, I didn’t respond. I was very hurt, but feeling so much better now, as I’ve been focusing on ME! Saw my ex at a social event Nov. I was civil and said hello. He followed me, was very friendly, hugged me and insisted on buying me and drink. Said I looked a million dollars and asked to kiss me on the cheek! I declined and went back to my friends. Saw him out again over Christmas. He was again very friendly and quite flirtatious and also touched my exposed thigh..said we should ‘catch up’. He sent a NY text, I responded, matching his, the following day. We have exchanged a few more texts and I mentioned him wanting to catch up. He replied ‘I will call you’. I don’t particularly want him back and would only do so if we started a new r’ship ,with a definitive outcome/marriage. I observed him being very attentive to a woman at the NY event - not sure if this is a new girlfriend, or an ex! Why does he want to call me, after all this time? Is he testing the water, wanting to apologise, or to inform of his love interest?? I’m very curious, but also feeling slightly anxious 😊 All opinions welcome. Thanks in advance!
Speaking of that part when you’re looking back at old photo’s not even of them (because I deleted them) you ever look back at old photos of yourself or videos of just a time & think back “this was a time when I was with my ex and was at my happiest” and they arent even in the video or photo ? I tend to do that alot & it’s to the point where I dont want to even look back at those moments and they werent even in the photo or video
I'm also a musician , lead singer of a metal band and a rock band. So weird man this video just popped up.. it's exactly.. TO THE LETTER of what I'm experiencing ... #WOW!!! Been exactly 5 months.. all of a sudden I had a bit of low. I'm killing it still. Doing things I've never done before.. I'm better than I've ever been in my life. So, neuroplasticity and the way the brain behaves is weird. All things happen for a reason. The universe has a sense of humour man. I'm also writing the Best music I've ever written in my life.
Right now I am about halfway through month two. I feel like I have emotionally regressed; I learned that his mother recently died, and I had formed a bond with her. I wish I could reach out to him or his family so bad, but that would cause me to lose ground in my healing and break no contact. So I've been a wreck the last couple days. This sucks.
Yes! The gym! I’ve always gone to the gym but when you are going through a break up it is even better! Get yourself an empowering playlist. Don’t laugh but Britney Spears “Stronger” Lol. It does wonders! Even when you are having your darkest day. I go first thing in the morning and then i will go and do something completely different in the evening if I’m really down. I will add that I did a session with Rory and it honestly helped me get some kind of focus. I was in a long distance (I’m only saying this because I sometimes see people ask about long distance) and I was completely blindsided. I believed all the love bombing which in the end apparently didn’t mean a thing. I thought I was doing everything I needed to do and I felt like the pages just got ripped out of the story. I had made some video montages of each time we spent together so I had all these pics and videos on my phone. Delete them or lock them away and never look again. Stop looking at any kind of social media, no matter how much you want to “know.” Stop asking about them. Stop your mind. Replace their name with gym, career, family, or something you love. Anything but them. I’m still healing in month three...going into four...but Rory knows what he’s talking about.
Exactly 2 months after she left me, I had a dream that we were intimate, loving like we used to be when it was amazing. This woke me up at 4am and I’ve been awake ever since. I’ve had a really bad day today and I’m struggling to stop thinking about that dream and her! I’m trying everything, gym reading etc.. in a couple of days I’m going out with a few of my friends, first time I’ve been out in 2 months. She has already started sleeping with another man, and was meeting up with him and spending time with him as soon as she left me! 4 more months of this is going to be hell but I can’t wait to be me again
Dreams are more than dreams. What I mean is if you had a dream that you were with the woman you love( your ex girlfriend) chances are good that in the future that might come true. Don't ever take for granted the power of a dream. It's basically you are entering a realm of psychic abilities and people can see into the future. I can't tell you how many dreams I've had that have come true exactly one hundred percent the way it did in the dream.... Good luck to you my friend. Just remember we are all going through this together. People are awful just don't get trapped in their web and you will be fine.
TLDR: First month or two suck, as time passes things don’t suck as much, no longer want ex back. I’m on month 4. I can honestly say the first 2 months were definitely the hardest. Even with all the work I was putting in at the gym I was still in a terrible state of mind. Months 3 and 4 have been a lot better. I’ve been promoted at work and have reconnected with a lot of friends from back in the days. Been out on a few dates. I no longer want my ex back but I’m still a little upset at how things ended, but I’ve learned a lot and I’ve had time to really think about why things happened. There’s days where I feel down, but they’re definitely not as frequent and she’s no longer the first thing on my mind. Time is a wonderful thing, and while you won’t realize it at first, you’re probably better off without a partner who decided to leave you when times got rough. I no longer watch ex back videos to get my ex back. Rory definitely knows his stuff and I very much appreciate all the time and effort he puts into these videos as they have helped me and a lot of people through tough times.
This month would be the forth month (broke up in September). I was doing fine until I saw my ex at the bar. I did not talk to him and I was not acting needy. I was minding my whole business with my friends. As soon as I got home I broke down and the morning after. I just remember the times we will head back to his place after bar trips, however me heading home alone hit heard. I been no contact since late November because when he enter his new relationship. I don’t even want to call it rebound anymore because it might not be. Dumpees never know.
I went through my breakup about 3-ish months ago. The first month, I believe I was doing stuff to keep my brain busy and to not think about it. Exactly one month after, I was so heartbroken and literally did the most embarassing things to try to get my ex back. I was so incredibly sad, and I really honestly felt like I wasn't going to be happy again. Today, I do feel some sadness, but I am so thankful that it wasn't like it was before. But every now and then, I catch myself thinking things like, "was this relationship ever real? Did he ever really love me? If I didn't see it before, why wouldn't it happen again". It's still hard, but I was told by my friends that if I was feeling so sad about it, it just means that I am human and have normal human emotions. It's normal and healthy. Idk, I just really hope that everyone really takes the advice on self improvement, because the only other option is allowing the self to get worse. There are really only two paths. Choose the better one
I'm at that exact 1,5 monthish point where the pain really hits you. It really hurts sometimes,I feel heartbroken, thrown aside, useless, guilty for the misstakes I made, then my body shivers, filling me with memories and "get her back" vibes. Luckily, I went through some shit in my life and have a strong will and mind. So I endure the pain, think about all the pain my ex caused, how she just walked out on me, remind myself that if anything, she has to fight for me, not the other way around. On the flip side, I also spend a lot of time with my family, friends and hobbies, which really does help. Even if it hurts, I know there is a future and it will get better, I'll go my way. Stay strong and good luck everyone, you're not alone!
I was in denial the first couple of weeks because when we broke up she told me she would only be gone a week like typically what happens when we would fight. She came and got her dirty clothes a week later. Instead of stopping her then and trying to talk I let her walk out. She’s been gone for 3 months And the emotional rollercoaster is at all time high.
She actually posted a week after breaking up that she was heart broken. She was asking friends how to cope with it. I felt like breaking NC. But I was advised to wait til she reaches out directly
Thank you for this video Rory, this is exactly what I’m going through now. Some days are completely fine and other days it’s like my brain is shrouded in storm clouds. I think that it’s spot on from the perspective of the dumpee, but I’m interested if this same (or a similar) emotional rollercoaster happens from the perspective of the dumper?
For those asking for the Stages of a dumper, that video was previously covered: ua-cam.com/video/EzU5iKRmIRE/v-deo.html
Thanks for this link too. Can you consider a video about a mutual breakup? I know that it may never be 100% mutual but in my case i ended it (apparently) a day before she was going to end it. We both had enough but now i want my ex back.
You and coach Lee are the only two coaches that make any sense to me and care about us with honest knowledge, wanting us to succeed with our ex or not. Id 100% pay for a coaching call but currently giving my ex all my money to help her with her bills and down payment on new car(she just totaled it) 3 more weeks she will have $3k from me and I'll be able to afford it
"It's your job to make sure that what you've gained is greater than what you've lost." I needed to hear this. Thank you!
Losing an ex is a gain in itself. Made me realise I deserve so much more.
The line😶👌
Channels like yours are so important
People don't feel so alone
i dont understand how they could just leave u in the dirt and never look back? especially when it was them who initiated everything and professed their damn love!
I can relate. Mine more or less dragged me into a relationship, I had some concerns, but she wouldn't accept a no until I commited. She told me all the stuff, how much she loved me, how much she cared about me, how I was the only one she really trusted and wanted to spend her life with me. I tried to be cautious, but at some point I just fell so hard for that girl I started to really commit. I did so much for her, helped her with anxciety issues, body insecurities, family problems, I motivated her to pursue her dreams and goals. Then I had some psychological problems and hoped for her support, but she started distancing herself, meeting new people, and forming the idea there could be more and better for her. Despite all this we spent an awesome weekend together where she told me how much I meant to her, how she wanted me to protect her, be her partner for life. 2 weeks later she dumped me with the typical "grass is greener" syndrome, her new "friends" convinced her she could do better, and she became very distant and cold, it just hurts. I know feelings can change, and love should be unconditional,but after investing so much, I just feel used and thrown away.
@Lee It really is disgusting on many levels. The funny thing is, mine already sorta came back once. We used to be friends, and I had a crush on her, but she was with someone else. At some point it hurt too much and I kinda went my way. Then out of nowhere, a couple of months later she came back and wanted a relationship soon after. I was torn, but ultimately fell. She is so naive and easily manipulated by others. I managed to doge some bullets while we were together, and I tried to make her being more careful, but she interpretated it as me cuting her freedom and felt stuck. I can guarantee you they will always come back in one form or another as soon as they learn the grass isn't all that greener. But then what. I still care deeply about her, but she hurt me a lot already too, it just sucks.
@Lee That absolutely sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Mine didn't ignore me for so long, but there was other stuff. As I said, she can be easily manipulated and is naive, but she also loves the attention and is very open for it, there were some incients that, while not cheating, definitely were crossing borderd and could have lead into cheating if I didn't interfiere. But what hurts the most were all the broken promises. I'm aware you should take "I'll love you forever" or "I'll marry you" with a grain of salt, but there were also a lot of little promises she kept breaking. The biggest one was that we'd be honest, especially if we'd fall out of love. She wasn't. She kept sweettalking me to the last moment, then took a 180° and reveiled that some stuff was a lie. Which lead to me now in retroperspective not knowing what was genuine and what a lie, it just sucks and hurts. I really don't know what to do if she comes back. All logic screams "run", but I never loved someone so deeply, and the relationship would be workable if she'd just would communicate and commit properly. I will heal some day, but it will take time and effort. Good luck to you mate, no one deserves this, and as much as it hurts, there is a future, we're not alone.
trendafile wow this is what happened to me !! Been 5 months and haven’t heard a peep !!
@@Edelweiss1102 sounds like she has borderline personality disorder maybe
Accurate 100%. I made it guys. No Contact does wonders. Time will take off the rose tinted glasses and you will see your ex for who they really are. Keep up the no contact and love yourself and your life. Always love you more than you love someone else.
"You've lost a person, but maybe you've gained your best self" Best line I've ever heard and that's what currently happening to me right now. Thanks Rory 😁
Thanks Rory for saying "don't judge yourself on any timeline". For people like me, who have a freaking MASSIVE memory for details and remember every single word a stranger said 10 years ago, it's a lot more difficult to forget or think less about an ex.
Been told I have a good memory too (comes in handy in school). This has translated to calculating the time to get over her as multiplying the time in relationship by 2. So two year relationship will take four years to get over them.
I've noticed after 2 months of no contact I have begun to have uneasy dreams about my ex. It's almost like my subconscious is trying to work out or sort out the break up. 😐🤔🤢
Man it's been only 2 weeks and 2 days ago the dreams have started and its horrible, like I just want to fucking sleep and not think about her, but my brain it like, ya nope, let's have 5 dreams about her in 1 night...
2 days for me right after the breakup
kyle cotto ugh same, espacially when i think i am over him, i start getting dreams about him and i then i am missing him alot again :(
@@stuartwade9492 , in the end you will certainly be in a better place, and she still be with herself....a horrible place to be..!!
Update guys??
So true Rory. I was 5 month no contact... doing well... reflecting on how I was treated like an option to stay in no contact. Got easier with time... then one evening out of the blue... I lost my mind and reached out 😩 we stayed in touch for months but absolutely nothing came of it other than wasted time and more heartache. Almost 2 months in “again” and won’t blow it this time. I have no time to waste on people who are unsure if they want to be with me or not. I’m a good man who deserves much better.
Update?
@@tukku4417 she’s been texting me since March 🤪
@@davetrottier wow good for u. So will u suggest me to do the same? Should I contact her?
@@tukku4417 I know you “shouldn’t” lol, she contacted me just seeing how I was doing with the pandemic and all. Indirect/direct approach.
Maybe just something short like “hey, with all this pandemic stuff, I was wondering how you’re holding up. Hope you’re well.” Something along those lines. Maybe she will just say I’m good thanks... in that case I would leave it there, but hopefully she asks the same about you and that could lead into a conversation.
Update, what happened 3 years later?
Best way to get over an ex is one word !
ANIMALS!!
Go rescue a guni pig, a cat, ANYTHING!!!
THEY ARE THE ONLY LOYAL SPECIES OUT THERE!!
YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR HEART BROKEN, UNTIL HE OR SHE DIES BUT THATS LIFE!!
It's been more than 2 months and it's been a roller coaster for real. Now I don't want my ex back. Like the newest video of Dating Guy how to stop putting your ex on the pedestal is true. He's just another person that everyone else finds so god damn normal, but somehow he meant so much to me. But now I'm getting better emotionally and physically meanwhile he's just lazy and gains weight lol. Since I started online dating again I realised that I have so many options and these people are even better looking than my ex hahaha. Boy bye 👋
Brooo 😂✌✌
An K Tran bro you're gonna find a lot of my comments on his videos 😂😂😂 it was such a journey 🙏🏼
Sooo which online app are you on😂
john peterson tinder, bumble 😂😂 classic
Might have to expand my bumble distance 🤔
I remember the physical relationship I had with him. When I watch a romantic clip or something , I just remember all of the things I did with him.
This channel should have at least 100K subscribers. Intelligent, well thought out and very informative. Thank you.
Reaching month 4. Was doing OK until this past weekend I saw my ex with the rebound hiking in the same park I took her to her a lot and they end up parking in the same space that we used to. I saw them in the parking lot pretty sure they saw me but not sure. It’s set me back and trying to push forward as hard as it is. Your assessment on this was pretty spot on for me.
I’m 6 months in. I hit a wall, exactly how Rory explains it. You begin to really miss them, and start to wish that things could be worked out. However, I had 6 months of experiences and coping mechanisms that are allowing me to get through it. I received an email from our wedding venue to let us know that we are getting a refund, and yes it hurt, but I pushed through it, journaled my thoughts and jumped on some Call of Duty after a day of knocking out homework. She made a decision that flipped our lives upside down. She gets to deal with that decision now. I’ve already adjusted. It gets better.
Have you heard from her?
@@Zeb86 Nahhhh, on to bigger and better things
I'm going through a break up at 5 months mark now. It definitely was horrible and a roller coaster experience for me like how the video described. I had been feeling great about myself and my process on how i had done. I felt i didnt need my ex back anymore or how i could live my life normally again. Then boom, one day i felt so depressed and lonely like something was pressing against my chest. I knew that i'm falling backward so i decided to accept it and got it out by crying. I knew i dont want to hold it back but had to face it. And it did help me a lot. Hopefully, by 6 or 7 months, i could feel way better than I am right now like the love chat described. I'm really looking forward to it to actually live my life again without worrying about my ex and start dating other people.
I’m at 4 month mark and I’m hurting like hell ! I was ok last month but I’m spiraling down. I think im in shock that we no longer talk. I never thought that she wouldn’t never not be in each other’s lives. This sucks!
Thanks Rory. Deep down from the heart. Thanks.
Just when I thought these videos couldn't get any more spot on!! Thank you Rory this one was soooo accurate and helpful.
Needed this, thanks Rory for being the light in these dark days
It’s been 35 days since the breakup. I feel better, it’s only difficult on weekends when I’m not distracted by work. So I’ve resorted to occupying myself by seeing friends as much as possible. As long as I have company, I don’t feel bad
I agree. Just to let you know that playing your videos and hearing your advices every now and then has helped me a lot. It's been more than 4mos since the breakup and I'm feeling better. Thank you so much! Love this one. God Bless.
Wonderful coach Rory, very helpful specially for those of us who still in pain, but we know deep in our heart we’re better off that relationship....
this video was amazing. I'm going through the stages exactly as you list them. Thank you. It's nice to know that a lot of the rollercoastering is NORMAL. Falling back into the black hole is the hardest part. Especially if you feel like it will never end.
As I have an excellent memory, listening to this video was like watching a slow-motion video, where you were talking and all the pictures of my stages were in front of me. You have described all the stages precisely. Just wow. You are pro, Rory!
Magnet for success has 2 great videos:
1) stages of a breakup for the dumper
And
2) stages of a breakup for the dumpee
They’re both great videos and give hope to the dumpee
This video was spot on. I thought to myself today, that I am feeling so much better and realized I don't think of him as much (the guy from our personal session). I have experienced the 'out of nowhere' feeling with a previous ex and I was disappointed in myself at the time because all I kept thinking was that I had past that stage. Thanks for letting me know its normal and so I wont be alarmed if it happens with this ex.
Yay! You did the rollercoaster video like you promised. Great content. Very helpful.
I hated it when my eyes cried and my heart ached. Because it was annoying to cry for so long many weeks. Having those episodes of crying attacks. Like I was mad for crying but couldn’t avoid it. 🙁
Great advice. Helps to understand things much better in addition to your positive outlook that help push toward being the best version of myself. I thank you for your insight and help you give everyone. Keep it going!
Rory, it's like you were describing my timeline! The mistake I did, is that I did not start hitting the gym until after 2 months. This is probably one of my favorite videos now! Thank you so much! I hope after 6-7 months, with hard work, to be fully healed! But, I will take your advice and not compare myself and follow my own timeline.
its been 8 months now and i just cant move on
I don’t feel alone when I listen to your videos...it’s officially been a month, I’m going crazy, and yes I’m hyper aware of time. I’m still trying to get over that it’s happening. That he left, some days I’m mad and ready to let go, but definitely have low times.
I have been journaling, running, watching inspirational videos. Etc.
I really like that you gave time lines for these examples because it’s so true and it reminds me, that, I’m not crazy or alone for feeling the way I am.
Great video :) I went through every stage in the first week and then I started to feel all of them for longer periods of time. It has now been 2 months and even though I am feeling a bit better I do have many moments (it feels like a relapse almost). For me the key is to allow myself to feel it so I can grieve and then to try to change those thoughts into affirmations about myself and where my life is at. Writing your thoughts down helps so much as does music and exercise.
We love you rory never stop making this kind of videos.
This might me one of the best videos on this topic on UA-cam. Thank you. I’d pick a favorite part but this whole video is important.
Thanks to Rory and Dating Guy. Best combo on the internet for getting you through a bad time. Best of all, they're giving great advice and not preying on your emotions (i.e. extracting money from you). Keep it up Rory (and DG)
What reminds me of them sometimes is when I try to meet a girl (online dating, or in person) and realize how hard it will be to find someone as beautiful as she was....
We all think that. We reflect what we feel for that person, in them. However, you will find someone better. I promise you. There is always someone better.
I agree!!!! It feels so hard to try & meet someone else !!
It's different for me everytime I get over someone and when I met these new guys I think my ex(es) is so average like sometimes I don't understand why I fell for him head over heals before...
@@quinn599 I agree totally. Every time I think about dating another woman, I pick them apart. Its ok, i!t is my brain telling me it is not time yet. My ex and i were fantastic. We went on a vacation, came home and she ghosted me with one text that she needed to heal. GONE. This was after we talked about getting engaged during the vacation. ???????? Work on yourself and make you the best you can be. Do it for you, not them. Any benefits you get from them will be the gravy on the meal of success. It will happen. Not sure when, but it will happen.
I hope that's what my ex feel
I enjoy all the videos on here but I'm glad I finally listened to this one in particular. I could not figure out why after I was doing ok I just completely tanked about 4 months in. I could not get him out of my head and was a wreck. My friends were well meaning but told me I was essentially nuts and dragging it out. I'm EXTREMELY glad to know this is relatively normal and I'm not alone. Thanks!!
I wish I watched it earlier before making a mistake during the downturn and hurt myself. 😓
Thank you, you're so true Rory!
Rory you gave me a bit of relief, I am on month 3 and I still feel so so down. I was thinking of perhaps going to the doctors and getting medication. Everyone has been telling me that it has been too long now and I should be moving on. I think in my case excluding all medication would not be a great idea but you at least made me feel less guilty and stupid about how I am feeling. I thought I should be good by now because that's what everyone keeps telling me. And since he moved on within a month and seems to be doing great...it confused me even more! (don't think I will ever truly understand how people do that). Thank you for this video!
Taking a step back whenever I'd be triggered by someone or something and really observing was probably one of the best things I did during those downhill days or weeks. This video nailed that rollercoaster ride. One minute everything is fine and the next, it's like all hell broke loose. But, when you take a step back and observe when you become sad or upset by something, you learn about yourself so you can correct it. As Rory said, it should be non judgemental--- this process is about healing and learning so you owe it to yourself to be self compassionate. Cheers!
Awesome Great Read of Advice and Suggestions I know now the stages of an Emotional Rollercoaster and how I been through it all without the understandings, I am on one right now with 100% NO CONTACT!...I do feel the Power Of Loving Me!
Been a bad few weeks thanks for these
I listened to this a few month back. I was still in the chaos of loss /grief of losing my 26 yr LTR. Looking back, I couldnt take this in, then. I relistened today. Now I can realize the essence of this information properly. Im 8 months in, and only 3 days ago, upon waking, a definite shift seemed to occur ( though I had been getting less 'grief attacks' progressively over the months, with N Contact).
The point here: you may not be ready for some of the advice, it wont sink in, but come back to it, remind yourself. Also, Rorys advice, as well as Dating Guys, is definitely without primary money motive, and the most authentic to saving yourself from the oblivion that a breakup can thrust on you.
Thank you,Roy for this new year vid. Came out at such perfect time😢.
This is so helpful. I am a dumpee atm and just broke up with my bf less than a month. Still hurt like emotional rollercoaster yes but I'm trying really hard to be as productive as possible everyday. I've been trying to hit the gym more often than I used to do when I was in the relationship. Basically wanna be even more fitn Also, I try journaling, it's fun and healing for sure. I just wanna try to focus on my own self now, no matter what happened in the future, I commit to myself to try to live the best version of myself. No matter what happened in the future, either my ex comes back or not, it wont matter to me so much cuz I define my own value and learn how to love myself better in order to love ppl better 😌😌😌
omg youve FOUND your BEST self. I love this guy. How fabulous is that. You know the last time I contacted my ex and broke no contact I told them there is a reason for everything. It was months ago. I said everyone comes into your life as a lesson or a blessing. It was liberating and true. At least they know they were one of the two (a lesson).
You allow me to feel like a normal human thanks Rory seriously
2 days ago i cried out loud i really missed him so bad yesterday's mood was like i felt a little good it was okay and today i hated him so much about the way he hurted me because i didn't deserve it 😒 not a good day that's all i have to say...
I never cried for any of my other ex before my current ex i can't remember the last time i cried but over this one I've cried so many times not like bad but tears down my face that i can't control. I know she's the one for me. My soulmate, twin flame i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It's been a little over 3 weeks. She broke up on me on our exact 8 month together June 17th
22 days of no contact, i broke it to ask her about a concert i gave her the pdf n still have them but i wanted to see if she was going cause if not ill use the tickets don't want them going to waste. Told her I'd really like her to go and if she can't find anyone I'd take her. Of course no reply made me feel 100x more sad n depressed i won't reach out again she wants to talk she can contact me. I'd suggest to never break no contact till they contact you first
How are you? In day 47, broke down yesterday again...
Thank you Rory. Hug
Damn Rory you have so much valid information that brings me peace I appreciate this 👌🏾
This video really described my current situation ,love u rory
Three and a half months on…and I’ve taken a crash….just like you said… out of nowhere…. “Where is she?” …and I was going pretty great.
What set me off, was a beanie that she knitted for me. Yep! It was cold… put that beanie on my head… and whammy!
Packing that beanie away.
Sir your are sent from Heaven. I have spoken to many and you are the best.
Another good video my dude!
I would like to thank Rory for all his videos. I fully moved on after my GIGS GF who Ive been with for 2 years on and off. Ready to date again. I deactivated my facebook and cried my ass off during the break up and now Im single and ready to mingle 💪
Amazing video!!
Looking back now this video is spot on
Inspiring coaching, thanks!
This is spot on at the 5 month mark I had a relapse. Hope 6 month is better
Just started journaling yesterday. It really helped give me an outlet to my thoughts that I could go back to instead of writing notes on my phone. I made the mistake of looking at her snap location (and won't again), but she was at a location that her ex frequents. Been about a week and a half NC. Still hurts to think that the person she wants to revert back to out of comfort is someone I was never okay with her speaking to casually, as a boundary of mine, as she wouldn't want me doing the same. Come to find out she told me her and him met the night before at her house in her room, the night we broke up to talk about a lot.. this was pretty hard for me as I felt so betrayed by the one person who I honestly saw as one of the most loyal people I had ever met. This really rattled my trust. Although she insisted they did nothing, the thoughts of "what if" consumed me for some time. They still do, but that's a pain that I'm keeping far away from my mind as much as possible. Your videos really have helped me prosper this much already, and I appreciate that you genuinely care for people and don't feed into the money hungry antics of some other channels. So thank you for that, regardless of what happens in my situation.
My ex broke with me 21st of Sept saying he didn't feel anything for me and he wanted to be with another girl(miles away, lesser than me and 8 years older - yuck), he texted for about 3 month.
All in all we met and I thought we would be together because it felt so. Until he told me that he was going away to visit her. I felt used by him. I went on no contact - it was on 4th Nov.
Time goes by, I survived Christmas, New Year - it was hard sometimes. I went to the hairdresser, bought some new clothes, shoes etc. I met my friends - sometimes it was hard when they asked me where he was(we used to go together everywhere). I watch thousand motivational videoes. I go to the gym three times a week - now it's 3rd month.
Today all of a sudden I started crying and I couldn't stop - I miss him like hell. My best friend asked me why I didn't get over him yet.
Thank you Rory - your video helped me understand that I'm not insane.
Really awesome video.. Really helpful thanks sir, ur such a gentleman
Wonderful message, as always & came at exactly the right time. Thank you so much 😎
Dumpee always get the better outcome. They heal, improve what made the dumper walk and they either become more attractive in the eyes of the dumper or they attract someone even better. Quite often, both scenarios can occur, and the dumpee can then choose between them.
The thing that set me off today was a living couple on TV. It made me think of me and my Ex when things were good. I wanted to text him and apologise for things ending badly, but what I did instead was listen to Rory's video on clear slate
eset messages. That brought me out if it, and I remained in no contact. 🍒
Please do stages of the dumper Rory!! We need that more than the stages of the dumpee :/
That video has been done forever ago! ua-cam.com/video/EzU5iKRmIRE/v-deo.html
The Love Chat L
Hahaha yeah you didn't check his channel well enough 😛😛
I remind you guys simply saying "OK, I UNDERSTAND" is so powerful when your ex tells you they they want to break up with you. I saw its proof at work yesterday. I had a small argument with my boss about my schedule which she made for me. And she said I should quit if I don't accept her scheduling. I simply answered: " OKAY". 15 minutes later she got back to my room and started to compromise. It was an amazing feeling.
Hello Rory, I know you may not see this but in a way writing what I am going through on your channel helps. It's been 4 1/4 after my break up, we live in a small town and we work together, not only that we live across the street from each other in employment flats. We tried to be friends the 1st 2 months but it was a hollow friendship that felt one way to me so I ended it and started NC. 2 months into no contact and I was feeling better, I am even sure that we are fundamentally incompatible unless some drastic sacrifices are made. I have begun meditating and listening to self help talks and reading books on letting go, forgiveness and compassion. Work is going well and I have made new friends and training for a marathon. I thought I was doing well.
Then the dreaded trigger happened today, I saw him brought another woman to his place and he saw me saw it. A woman I know he has been spending a lot of time with after our break up. And I got a rude text from him saying it's just a friend. The rush of anger and despair felt like the first day. So I am back here listening to your video about the emotional rollercoaster.
What I would like to know is if I should even reply to that text?
It’s hard when you had 16 years together
Wonderful video thank you!
Wooow someone's keeping promises here!!
I'm not even used to it anymore after all my ex did!
The best love guru along with DG and Toni Gaskins.
Everything you have said is true...7 months now & I want him back again....arghhhhhhh....I don’t have social media....I deleted his pictures off of my phone thank god......now I have to sell our home...all the memories...another step of the situation....I write a journal but haven’t done it for a while...maybe I’ll get back to it...thank you 🙏🏻
You can get through it girl, be like dori from finding Nemo, just keep swimming! You’re amazing and he’s missing out on it!
sspector100 thanks 🙏🏻
@Dzz Zz Oh he did come back, he came back in September (we broke up mid/end July) telling me how much he missed me, how much he thought about getting back together but actually only wanted to be friends, how much he thought about me, how much he just doesn't want to be strangers. October was spent dealing with breadcrumbs from him.
I tanked hard on New Years day as mentioned earlier. I got back up, still slowly becoming me again. Do I still love him? Yes. But I don't even care if we get back together anymore, I just wanted to be cordial at the very least. I deserve better, whether it's someone better or a better relationship.
Hi Rory, really enjoy your channel. Keep up the good work!
Ex dumped me via text 5 months ago stating ‘I should find someone who can devote more time’ (dated 1yr plus, he’s divorced and was recently out of a r’ship) Good chemistry/attraction between us and little conflict. I immediately went NC. He contacted me a few days later with an unrelated question, I didn’t respond. I was very hurt, but feeling so much better now, as I’ve been focusing on ME!
Saw my ex at a social event Nov. I was civil and said hello. He followed me, was very friendly, hugged me and insisted on buying me and drink. Said I looked a million dollars and asked to kiss me on the cheek! I declined and went back to my friends.
Saw him out again over Christmas. He was again very friendly and quite flirtatious and also touched my exposed thigh..said we should ‘catch up’.
He sent a NY text, I responded, matching his, the following day. We have exchanged a few more texts and I mentioned him wanting to catch up. He replied ‘I will call you’. I don’t particularly want him back and would only do so if we started a new r’ship ,with a definitive outcome/marriage.
I observed him being very attentive to a woman at the NY event - not sure if this is a new girlfriend, or an ex!
Why does he want to call me, after all this time? Is he testing the water, wanting to apologise, or to inform of his love interest?? I’m very curious, but also feeling slightly anxious 😊
All opinions welcome. Thanks in advance!
all y’all niggas goin through this keep yo head up brighter days ahead 💯
Speaking of that part when you’re looking back at old photo’s not even of them (because I deleted them) you ever look back at old photos of yourself or videos of just a time & think back “this was a time when I was with my ex and was at my happiest” and they arent even in the video or photo ? I tend to do that alot & it’s to the point where I dont want to even look back at those moments and they werent even in the photo or video
I'm also a musician , lead singer of a metal band and a rock band.
So weird man this video just popped up.. it's exactly.. TO THE LETTER of what I'm experiencing ... #WOW!!!
Been exactly 5 months.. all of a sudden I had a bit of low.
I'm killing it still. Doing things I've never done before.. I'm better than I've ever been in my life. So, neuroplasticity and the way the brain behaves is weird.
All things happen for a reason.
The universe has a sense of humour man.
I'm also writing the Best music I've ever written in my life.
Right now I am about halfway through month two. I feel like I have emotionally regressed; I learned that his mother recently died, and I had formed a bond with her. I wish I could reach out to him or his family so bad, but that would cause me to lose ground in my healing and break no contact. So I've been a wreck the last couple days. This sucks.
Hello coach thanks this is a nice video I and a good message for me...
My gf left after 8 years, this channel is better than my theropist
This is so accurate with the 5 month mark. This happened to me now. I'm trying to get out of it.
Yes! The gym! I’ve always gone to the gym but when you are going through a break up it is even better! Get yourself an empowering playlist. Don’t laugh but Britney Spears “Stronger” Lol. It does wonders! Even when you are having your darkest day. I go first thing in the morning and then i will go and do something completely different in the evening if I’m really down. I will add that I did a session with Rory and it honestly helped me get some kind of focus. I was in a long distance (I’m only saying this because I sometimes see people ask about long distance) and I was completely blindsided. I believed all the love bombing which in the end apparently didn’t mean a thing. I thought I was doing everything I needed to do and I felt like the pages just got ripped out of the story. I had made some video montages of each time we spent together so I had all these pics and videos on my phone. Delete them or lock them away and never look again. Stop looking at any kind of social media, no matter how much you want to “know.” Stop asking about them. Stop your mind. Replace their name with gym, career, family, or something you love. Anything but them. I’m still healing in month three...going into four...but Rory knows what he’s talking about.
Just for making a reference to the best gaming franchise ever the legend of Zelda, that alone makes u awesome man.
We've been to for over 20 years, separated for 9 months and now she's spending her birthday with her new boyfriend. It hurts like hell, such is life.
Exactly 2 months after she left me, I had a dream that we were intimate, loving like we used to be when it was amazing. This woke me up at 4am and I’ve been awake ever since. I’ve had a really bad day today and I’m struggling to stop thinking about that dream and her! I’m trying everything, gym reading etc.. in a couple of days I’m going out with a few of my friends, first time I’ve been out in 2 months.
She has already started sleeping with another man, and was meeting up with him and spending time with him as soon as she left me!
4 more months of this is going to be hell but I can’t wait to be me again
Dreams are more than dreams. What I mean is if you had a dream that you were with the woman you love( your ex girlfriend) chances are good that in the future that might come true.
Don't ever take for granted the power of a dream. It's basically you are entering a realm of psychic abilities and people can see into the future.
I can't tell you how many dreams I've had that have come true exactly one hundred percent the way it did in the dream....
Good luck to you my friend.
Just remember we are all going through this together.
People are awful just don't get trapped in their web and you will be fine.
I’m definitely in the other days 😢😢 2 months in and definitely definitely feeling crappy.
TLDR: First month or two suck, as time passes things don’t suck as much, no longer want ex back.
I’m on month 4. I can honestly say the first 2 months were definitely the hardest. Even with all the work I was putting in at the gym I was still in a terrible state of mind. Months 3 and 4 have been a lot better. I’ve been promoted at work and have reconnected with a lot of friends from back in the days. Been out on a few dates. I no longer want my ex back but I’m still a little upset at how things ended, but I’ve learned a lot and I’ve had time to really think about why things happened. There’s days where I feel down, but they’re definitely not as frequent and she’s no longer the first thing on my mind. Time is a wonderful thing, and while you won’t realize it at first, you’re probably better off without a partner who decided to leave you when times got rough. I no longer watch ex back videos to get my ex back. Rory definitely knows his stuff and I very much appreciate all the time and effort he puts into these videos as they have helped me and a lot of people through tough times.
100%i agree with this thank you so much Rory♥️
This month would be the forth month (broke up in September). I was doing fine until I saw my ex at the bar. I did not talk to him and I was not acting needy. I was minding my whole business with my friends. As soon as I got home I broke down and the morning after. I just remember the times we will head back to his place after bar trips, however me heading home alone hit heard. I been no contact since late November because when he enter his new relationship. I don’t even want to call it rebound anymore because it might not be. Dumpees never know.
I went through my breakup about 3-ish months ago. The first month, I believe I was doing stuff to keep my brain busy and to not think about it. Exactly one month after, I was so heartbroken and literally did the most embarassing things to try to get my ex back. I was so incredibly sad, and I really honestly felt like I wasn't going to be happy again. Today, I do feel some sadness, but I am so thankful that it wasn't like it was before. But every now and then, I catch myself thinking things like, "was this relationship ever real? Did he ever really love me? If I didn't see it before, why wouldn't it happen again". It's still hard, but I was told by my friends that if I was feeling so sad about it, it just means that I am human and have normal human emotions. It's normal and healthy. Idk, I just really hope that everyone really takes the advice on self improvement, because the only other option is allowing the self to get worse. There are really only two paths. Choose the better one
I'm at that exact 1,5 monthish point where the pain really hits you. It really hurts sometimes,I feel heartbroken, thrown aside, useless, guilty for the misstakes I made, then my body shivers, filling me with memories and "get her back" vibes. Luckily, I went through some shit in my life and have a strong will and mind. So I endure the pain, think about all the pain my ex caused, how she just walked out on me, remind myself that if anything, she has to fight for me, not the other way around. On the flip side, I also spend a lot of time with my family, friends and hobbies, which really does help. Even if it hurts, I know there is a future and it will get better, I'll go my way. Stay strong and good luck everyone, you're not alone!
I was in denial the first couple of weeks because when we broke up she told me she would only be gone a week like typically what happens when we would fight. She came and got her dirty clothes a week later. Instead of stopping her then and trying to talk I let her walk out. She’s been gone for 3 months And the emotional rollercoaster is at all time high.
I thank you very much!!❤🤩😍
If you want the wound to heal, stop touching it.
A link to the past 😂 That's not what I expected hearing in this video but thanks for the laugh !
A Link to the past! I love Zelda! Cool reference! 😁
She actually posted a week after breaking up that she was heart broken. She was asking friends how to cope with it. I felt like breaking NC. But I was advised to wait til she reaches out directly
Thank you for this video Rory, this is exactly what I’m going through now. Some days are completely fine and other days it’s like my brain is shrouded in storm clouds. I think that it’s spot on from the perspective of the dumpee, but I’m interested if this same (or a similar) emotional rollercoaster happens from the perspective of the dumper?
ua-cam.com/video/EzU5iKRmIRE/v-deo.html
Been 5 months and hearing from her because of the baby upsets me haha it’s really bloody tough but il get there one day
A thumbs up for that link to the past joke hahah