How To Deal with A Negative Thought in 3 Simple Steps
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- HOW TO DEAL WITH A NEGATIVE THOUGHT
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We all have limiting beliefs and negative thoughts about ourselves, and although we all have them, people who are more secure know how to keep those thoughts from taking over and keeping them stuck.
In this episode of GoodForMeTV, I’m going to teach you three things secure people do to keep these limiting beliefs and negative thoughts at bay.
We all have limiting beliefs and negative thoughts about ourselves, and although we all have them, people who are more secure know how to keep those thoughts from taking over and keeping them stuck.
In this episode of GoodForMeTV, I’m going to teach you three things secure people do to keep these limiting beliefs and negative thoughts at bay.
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Who's belief about you that you've been carrying around for WAY too long are you ready to get rid of right now?
Julia Kristina Counselling
Hello kristina, I would love to tell you everything where I am concerned🙂 but I would end up going on to long. All I can say is that I am in my 9 therapist. And your video did resonate with me. Thank you very much! X
@@juliecosgrove2339 awesome! So glad it connected.
I probably need to get rid of my belief that I'm generally not good enough for virtually anything. Not even sure where I picked it up from lol.
Anyway thanks for another great video Julia!
@@christopherpape4823 my question to you is: What does 'good enough' even mean, and how will you know when you get there?
@@juliakristinamah that's a good point. We're all works in process, striving to be our best selves, but there's always more work to be done. I guess life would get kind of boring if we were all perfect by our 20s or something haha
I was married to a very abusive man who used to remind me everyday that I'm a stupid peasant and that I embarrass him among his peers and friends. He physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused me. I'm now living with a severe depression and relying on medications to be able to cope with life. I was lucky to be able to get a divorce but living as a single mom and working a corporate job that already has its own struggles have been extremely hard. Your chanel is a tremendous help to me. I keep replaying your videos to help myself. Thank you.
I just put myself on the waitlist for the coaching program. Thank you
I've been so insecure, isolated, and depressed for years. I'm always trying to analyze my messed up thoughts. I was convinced that it was self all just pity, but it truly is behavior learned. We weren't born to hate ourselves.
hope ur well xx
Reconice myself how you feel or feelt❤ .wish you all love ❤
"I am not my thoughts, I am the thinker of my thoughts" Wow, so true! This was my aha-moment :)
This video was powerful. I usually ask myself "where's this coming from?" when I'm bombarded with a negative thought, but I think it's even more important to ask 'who's belief it is' instead so that it's no longer attached to me in any way. Thanks for this as I do struggle with defeatism and anxiety from negative thoughts. I'm going to put your advice to work and see what happens. As for 'uh ha' moments, I get at least one from every single one of your videos, but when you said "who's belief is this?", I froze because in my heart I know exactly who's thoughts they are and they're certainly not mine. Excellent video, thank you!
sks bc - your post here hit me hard. You don't know how grateful I am that this talk connected with you in a big way. Thank you for being here and for ALL of your love and support.
@@juliakristinamah I hope you realize how much you're helping people, like myself, who might not otherwise have the opportunity to access this kind of help and knowledge. Your videos have made such a positive impact on my life and for that, I am truly grateful to you. Thank you so much! :)
as a newly educated psychologist I admire your work and really see you as a great role model :)
Hey! Another Psych-o to connect with ;-) Really grateful to have you here and thank you for your kind words.
Here's a tip about -ve voices: When you recall some unjust criticism, imagine that voice as a CARTOON character (eg. Donald Duck). It takes the sting out because "How can you respect that opinon?" You might even laugh at the stupidity of it. Just a thought. Thanks for all your good work. It helps.
LOVE this! Such a great little hack. Thanks for this Deryck.
God bless you for creating this video.
Patricia so glad it connected. Which part was most helpful for you?
Man, I love this - I am not my thoughts but the thinker. Not my emotions but the experiencer. So powerful and true.
They are only thoughts.
My parents indirectly tought me to hate myself.
Bullies messed me up.
Bosses discouraged me.
Thank you for this wonderful video. I'm someone who struggles a lot with mental health, especially with negative thoughts. Negativity really stops me from living my life to the fullest and being productive. I like the part where you said that "we are not our thoughts", because it will remind me that any cruel belief against myself isn't reality. Past successes are something that i forget often!(because it feels as though i only remember the failures most) This video helped me feel better today , I think I'll keep going back to it whenever i need a reminder!Thank you!
Isn't that a powerful realization? I remember when I realized that my upset was caused by my thoughts, and that I am not my thoughts it changed everything.
These are just thoughts and don't have to mean anything if I don't want them to.
hope ur ok xx
I needed to hear this reminder today. Thank you!
Absolutely Ashley. I too have to remind myself of this stuff often. #inittogether
Amen amen! Thank you for this message, I grow up with alcoholic mother who would come home and put her children down.
I love my mom til this day and I don’t hold it against her, I understand she didn’t have the best role models or the best childhood.
Forgiveness is everything ❤️
I agree, but I also feel it's not only internally, but also social media plays a huge part in our self negative thoughts. We compare ourselves to others and then the negative thoughts begin. I have to catch myself all the time. Great video! Thanks for posting.
I agree Zalina - social media isn't always all that helpful in creating a foundation for us to feel really good about ourselves.
Zalina.... Don't forget to remind yourself that social media is not real life. Social Media is a series of carefully shot photos taken at carefully chosen locations with underlying messages (ie. bragging etc.) designed mostly by insecure people who want you to feel as if they are living the high life and you aren't. Once you're able to spot this, it starts becoming kind of funny...and well, sort of pathetic.
Thank you!
You've helped me tremendously with calming my emotions that accompany my thoughts. My thoughts shouldn't scare me because they come and go. They're just thoughts.
YOU....Julia; are a gift. Thank you so much for this wonderful insight.
You too are a gift Demas Mireles. Really glad this connected with you.
EXACTLY!!! Its crippling! 55 its still the most crippling thing ever.
Getting rid of negative thoughts from our heads will leave space for positive thoughts to form. 🔥
Yes! Out with the useless and in with the useful!
Beautiful, Julia! I really appreciate you making these videos. It gives us reminders!! I will share it on my FB Page :)
Thank you dear Claudine - and I appreciate YOU and your amazing heart.
Yes, Julia I have had this happen to me when I was younger & even to this day I have a belief from being told negative things about myself that I still believe that I am that type of person & Woman when I know I am not but I seem to believe the bad stuff about myself anyway & I can't help it. It seems that the only time lately that I only feel better about myself when I listen to you & my other self help videos 😊 ❤️
Grew up surrounded and labeled with negative thoughts and beliefs. Hope this will hope. Thank you.
Everyday. It really sucks. And as much as I try to think positive it only works for so long. Hint yesterday I had a complete panic attack, left work, and as much I am trying to pull myself out of this ...feeling? Mindset? Or whatever this is? Ugh. But everyday I am working toward getting better. And as I'm typing this I'm realizing it's okay to feel this way I just can't get lost in it. And every single time I've gotten this depressed or my let my thoughts and emotions take over I've BEEEN ABLE TO GET OUT OF IT SOONER THEN LATER. YAY!!
Fyi: I never write anything b/c I listen to you on my way to work every morning but I just want to say that I LOVE your videos!!! They have really helped me. I mean really helped me alot. I go to therapy too (amazing woman) but I like to do things alone so these videos really help. So thank you!!!!!!! 😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Great way of putting this: 'It is just a thought.' Thanks Julia for the insight.
Removing myself from my thoughts and emotions...I’m taking that! Just had a week feeling like crap over stuff that just isn’t true! Not a wasted week. A week of contrast to show me my real truth. I am capable. I am a leader. I can make things work for me! 🙏🌻 Thanks for this Julia.
Negative thoughts grab hold of me extraordinarily well when I'm actually losing. When I'm at work, I'm not communicating with the girls very well, and I feel like I'm losing at the game of attraction. When I play multiplayer games, I feel like a complete failure when I'm losing, since I've spent so much time playing, but I can't seem to progress any, and lose over and over again. At some point in my life, I decided I'd rather focus on and expect the bad things in life, since I started to believe that it would be less painful if I prepared for it, but now I'm totally addicted to negativity. I was abused a little when I was younger as well. It's not like my parents didn't care for me and it wasn't anything too serious, but I spent a lot of time being a slave to my mother after the divorce.
ShadowCatGambit - do you think there's a difference between not achieving something and being a loser as a person? And further to that, is it even possible to be a loser - or is it more accurate to say you're someone who has lost at certain things?
@@juliakristinamah I can't say that I'm 100% losing, but I see other guys that are way better at winning, getting girls and what they want than I am. I feel like I'm not good enough to contest those males and some females.... the women in my family tell me that I have the mentality of a 14 year old (even though I'm nearly 30), and I'm trying to become better, and more desirable, so I can have a family (and pleasure), and yet the progress is slow, and there is still so much to work on (for example, my voice is usually pretty weak and timid).
Your videos are fabulous! 💜💜 I love that you normalize these thoughts. All people have them- here are the ways of conquering them. Good work!
So good to have you here Brittany. And yes, absolutely we are all much more similar than we realize!
struggling with negative thoughts and know on one level they are not true. It's catching those thoughts in a timely manner that is a challenge. I have been carrying around my Mom's belief for years. She was young when she had me and abusive and literally told me her life sucked because I was born. It's hard to shake. I know she did the best that she could have at the time, but wow, I'm 50 now, time for me to feel like the good person I am. Thanks for the video. :)
Tammy, I can't even imagine how painful that must have been and still often is for you. And yes, time to get rid of those beliefs about your lack of worth because they are just not true. Sending you so much love!
@@juliakristinamah Thank you for the kind words :)
Thanks for the advice. When I was struggling through a divorce, I mentioned feeling weak (meaning emotionally) and well meaning people took that as meaning that I had a chronically serious physical illness. I subconsciously took this label on and actually neglected my physical well-being which I’m working to improve currently.
Hello there. Message well noted. I learned something very valuable again from you. Thanks Julia!
Benmc - I always appreciate you and your encouraging words! Grateful to have you here.
Julia Kristina Counselling Thanks Julia and looking forward to your next video ❤️
I cannot stress enough on how important you are to people. You are a gift.
As a shy sensitive kid, mean kids felt powerful saying to me awful things that were disrespectful, and i was to shy to go to my parents and apeak about it because i was really hurt. thanks for this video i now know where it came from!❤
Thinks you've said ...I'm not my thoughts I'm a thinker, I'm not my emotions I'm experiencer ... is worth to highlight in golden letters
Thank you Julia
Really so grateful that connected with you vincent's Soul. It was a game changer for me too.
I was never allowed to cry as a child because my mom would yell and curse at me and call me dramatic. I buried my sensitivities and emotions for years. I am 32 and it is only until recently that I discovered I am highly sensitive person, and now I cry so incredibly easily. It feels so good to be able to release my emotions in a healthy way. I still have a lot of anger issues with my mom for doing that to me, but I’ve chosen to forgive her and take care of myself. Re-mothering if you will.
The story in my family is that I was a horrible miserable infant that never stopped crying; literally ruined their lives. I am 50 and not one single day of my life doesn't contain at least a flicker of question as to whether or not I deserve to be even comfortable (much less happy) based upon what I was told I did. As a relatively intelligent person I know this "story" is false. I know that infants don't cry on purpose to destroy their families, in fact, I am stunned at the absurdity of the notion. Yet, I struggle with negative thoughts most of the time. The type of coaching and explanation that is present in this channel has been a tremendous help to me. Thank you.
I have a vast history of people who have put me down in some form or another my whole life. Many individuals have told me in some form or another that I'm not good enough or will always fail. Some to my face, others behind my back. They are all out of my life and I don't want them back. Dirtbags!!!!! Sometimes it seems like a miracle that this hasn't held me back further than it has. I fell better about rising this far above this. Thank you Julia Kristina from the bottom of my little black heart.
I had very bad expirince and now i discovering a powers in my mind, in myself that i never thought i am able to be like that! Thank you!
Hi Julia. I think there's something even deeper than just a negative belief about yourself. And that's when you're raised bye Bonafide Narcissist. And you learn on a very deep level how unwanted you are how you are a burden and how you're not worth fighting for, you're not worth doing anything for. I look at those soul issues as deeper than just beliefs. Because even though I am so much older now these things are traumas that lives deep within a person. And although I've been in therapy for so many years and done so many different kinds of therapy I still struggle on a fundamental level with feelings of not being cared about.
Thanks for your loving energy.
This video hits very close to home for me. My mom was extremely negative towards herself and I picked up on that. She wasn’t negative towards me, she was always very supportive of me. She always thought she was never good enough and too ugly and too fat. I also had a drama teacher tell me I wasn’t good enough to be an actor and that stuck with me for years.
I have been dealing with negative thoughts my whole life and it was affecting my everyday life, even my relationship so I thank you so much for your advice and giving me the tools to help better my life as a whole.
The thing I learned the most is writing down all my thoughts on paper to see what I'm thinking. Then I try to feel my emotions by seeing where that thought came from.
My sour belief of myself are homegrown, organic, all me, no one else.
Incredible person, thank you for putting this content up, you’ve helped me get through a hard time and I can’t thank you enough for it.
Thank YOU for being here. Really grateful it connected, and for you Visionary Fitness.
I really got so many beneficial things out of this video. For a long time, I've been obsessing over these thoughts of "Oh, I'm not good enough" or "Oh, I'm not capable enough." It's when you mentioned the advice of just removing yourself from these thoughts and saying to yourself, "This is JUST a thought" that became an a-ha moment for me! Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and wisdom! I'm really happy to be a subscriber.
Thank you Julia for this video! Great one :)
Forgot to add which part of video I liked and that is when you said we are not our thoughts and should tell ourselves this is just a thought and doesn't hold any merit or validity
Pretty powerful, right?
Definitely something I struggle with on a daily basis. Been made fun of & picked on, put down a lot in life. Even to the point of considering suicide. So yes, would love to go deeper into it & if I can beat or get rid of it, would love to. Need a helping hand to get there though
Joshua, we ALL need help getting there - we're not meant to do this alone, that's for darn sure!
My mother had the belief that we ( the family) were somehow not as good as other people, and not able to be successful. It has taken most of my 62 years to truly understand how this affected me. I've lost so much of what my life could have been, but I am not without hope for the remainder. Thank you for all the helpful words you speak in your videos.
Hi Julia,
This is my second video I've watched from you and it's like you are in my mind. Everything you have said is exactly what I think daily. It's started affecting my relationship to the point my boyfriend is so frustrated with me he doesn't know what to say anymore. Thank you for these videos.
I'm so glad you're here LaToya! I'm guessing there really isn't anything he can say - now it's time to do the inside work, which is exactly what you're doing. Sending love!
@@juliakristinamah Yes, it's up to me now. To build my own confidence and stop these negative thoughts.
This moved me and not because negative thoughts are bad but because your powerfully mindfully helpful spirit simplifies and that allows me to think about what you are saying on my actual skill level instead of the usual overthinking I go into. To me, the good seed I accepted from this is that our positive thoughts and self kindness nurture the negative thoughts to grow into helpful solutions instead of them crying louder and louder for attention and only getting a scolding and then crying even louder and making our attitude bad. Does that make sense?
I'm 54years old and I'm still struggling with this self belief inner talk.
It doesn't just take care of itself Mark. You could be 84 and still struggle if you've never been taught the right tools to deal with that negative inner talk.
@@juliakristinamah i've been through years of counseling and it's cost me an absolute fortune. And I'm still struggling with myself. I feel as though i've wasted my time. While i have seen some improvement on an incremental level, i feel as though i still need sorting out. Do you have any suggestions as to which direction i could take.
@@lindyastacey I'm in the same situation, spent a fortune
@@lindyastacey I refuse to spend a fortune on it... I've been seeking, I'm 61.... I'll always be working on it..... you most likely have 90% good thoughts..... once the negative gets in... I forget about the 90%.... now I refuse to .... I keep a log of all the good intentions I have.... get back to that logging when negative thoughts come in...
@@deboraholiver3716 That's a good idea to journal out. But i get so tired after work , that I forget to write down what I think.
Julia thank you for making this videos, what made most impact is the fact that I have been successful in so many ways and I still feel insecure and have negative thoughts about my abilities, but I am getting better, partly thanks to you
Thank you Julia. This is going to be a video that I watch a lot. The thing is, it isn't rocket science but it's as if it is on a ledge that I am continually trying to get to.
Really glad it connected. And do go easy on yourself - this is not a one and done type of thing - it's a daily practice of working on managing our minds.
This is the best and clearest message that the world needs to hear. Thank you !
One thing to keep in mind is that when we analyze a negative thought, we are inadvertently applifing the emotion that is tied to it. It then takes longer for the emotion to pass. Look into 'Theory of constructed emotion'. It suggests that our emotions are not hard wired in our brains, but constructed 'in the moment' based on 3 components which are, interoception (the signals coming from your body), concepts, and social reality. It's a fascinating theory because it challenges the old idea of emotion circuits. In a nutshell, your brain makes a prediction based on these 3 components long before it enters your consciousness. Sometimes that prediction isn't always correct and is why it's important to not give it too much credibility.
Agreed! Thanks for your thoughts here.
Love this video! I am not my thoughts. Love that. I have so many negative thoughts. Thank you.
Julia,
You - your videos are one the things I am grateful for. Thank you.
Julia ... thank you so much for all your videos ... you can’t imagine the tremendous positive impact listening to you has given me .... lots all of love all the way from Oman 🙏🏼❣️
So good!❤️
This web cast brought all this out in me,(below) just had to replay to it. You are excellent.
Very nice road from the hippocampus to the cortex. Great tip on making white matter connections merely by pausing. Thank You for your Eloquence.
Thanks Julia! 💚
I always felt like if I needed anything especially emotionally I was a burden. Also I was made to feel like they couldn’t be bothered to support me. I wasn’t really that important. That could include not coming to competitions, graduation, left me at relatives for a night every weekend (I had seperation anxiety but had to stay anyway), at the same time not acklowledging successes or accomplishments. With accomplishments there was always a “you could’ve sone better...). Sorry for venting...😌
Thanks again for another great video!
Edit: I can definitely think of a few incidents where I was pretty harshly cut down during my teenage years that still bother me today.
Do you now see how those words were not about you and more about another person's interpretation of you? YOU decide who you are. YOU decide what words you will and will not accept from others - past, present or future.
@@juliakristinamah I think so. The issue I typically face is that I can see some truth in the comments, or better put my mind makes connections that make it seem like its truth. That's where things usually get dark as it turns into a vicious spiral downwards. Either way, thanks for the thoughts on how to help break these spirals.
Screaming father mentally/physically abusive growing up, ran away at 13 with family's car, girlfriend wouldn't come, got beat for it, ran away next day, after week got caught,. At 15 father showed me a handgun in draw at his gas station, showed me how safety worked, never saw it before, he left for a brake , i pic it up , and it went off with hole in wall, got caught and beat. Negative all my life. Have been depressed on and off all my life. On meds and therapy for depression, anxiety for a terrible trauma done to me at age 70. Slowly digging myself out of the dark hole, 2 years now. ur web talks help very much. Sorry for the length of this.
Thank God I found this in my recommended videos at the right time thank u so much I really need u
Wow such great content! great work. Glad to see counsellors/therapists sharing content, I hope to contribute to this great ecosystem.
Love from UK
I had it drummed into my head on a daily basis that I did not fulfil mothers perfect child status. Constant negativity in the home, being told I'm scared, stupid, weak generally made to feel incapable. Teacher reports saying 'I am not confident'. So then more berating because I was apparently taught to be a leader and 'be confident' by narc mother. Yet all actions from her would only produce the opposite. I now know in my 30's she is a covert narc. But soo much damage done and loss of a true sense of self. Too many years in childhood and teens trying to please. Took many years to build a self, a man. Then in 20's just cutting parents out of life as much as possible. But too much CPTSD affecting romantic relationships even now in my late 30's.
Toxic shame and negative thoughts always having to be battled.
My father created competition between siblings and we still can’t talk to each other without trying to out due each other.
Your videos are helping me a lot. Thank you very much
Yes I relate to this about labelling
When I was younger ( around 11 yrs old) my older sister would call me all kinds of names, and she would tell me how ugly and stupid I was! I'm 30 years old now, and I am barely starting to learn to love myself and to look in the mirror and see how beautiful I am, after believing I was ugly and being extremely self conscious and insecure for almost 20 years of my life!
Yes very much so. My whole childhood and we'll into my adult life I was always told I was bad. And I did bad things. I've always thought I was and in a way I liked it. It's on in the past couple of yrs am I starting to realize why I did those things. I was only doing what they said. I was always compared to my younger brother who was good and very smart.
yes, when i was about 13/14 years old my dad told my i would be fat and yes i was a bit more fully but i wasn‘t fat, but i believed it anyway- so the following year i was sick of anorexia nervosa:((( now i am doing better:)))
Oh thank you sooo much
I wish I can have sessions face to face
I live in so cal too faraway 😞
I am NOT my thoughts i am thinker of my thoughts i am not my emotions iam the experincer of my emotions iam,
You are creative
The very nature of thoughts means that they cannot be controlled, you can look at them after they've occurred but you can't stop them from happening.
Thanks for this video. It has helped me understand some of the negativity and thoughts that run around in my head. I have subscribed and will be listening more.
My dad never felt good enough , he would do his best always but, yup I absorbed his not good enough
Very helpful. Is just a thought. Tq
Game changer, right?
yes I sure did
Thank you so much for all of your videos are very helpful to us.
My spouse always negative about almost everything even to travel to Japan or South Korea because he said jang un is about to drop nuclear bom there, etc.
There're so many times this hurt me too.
The B & W format is great. The intros are always good.
Think my belief is that I'm not enough lovable enough, important enough that I matter enough, am smart enough, etc because growing up I had a rocky relationship with my mom where she was emotionally unavailable and would tell me I'm the one who doesn't want to get along with her then with my dad because I wasn't good with math when he would try to help me and he would get frustrated with me I felt like I was stupid in his eyes and therefore not enough because I wasn't good with math
I am grateful to you
Damn, your UA-cam Channel is so valuable
I think my teachers were so negative and they kept projecting it on the students. Half of my ex classmates have are still struggling with it till now. I'm in college now so things are so much better.
Powerful!! Thank you for sharing this!!
What if the thoughts have become a mood.... how do you lift your mood
Work on your thoughts - because you're right - all mood and emotions are created by our thoughts.
@@juliakristinamah
Thank you 😊
My parents were always treating me like i am very sensitive in health and delicate... And now i have health anxiety coz I think deep down inside i feel im too sensitive to fight things that happen like normal people.. but only in health department, its like my brain thinks i am made from glass
Thanks. JuliaKristina
Negativity only brings headaches and heartaches
Thank you so much.
Thank You for helping me
I was raised as being Jewish. I see it as a limiting belief. How can I analyze it, as a secure person?
I do know I have my accomplishments but for some reason I really can't see them as it is, it's like they're always beside me and I know they are - but I can't see or acknowledge them.... that's why, it's just that bad in my brain and it does not help I have to attend a place where they tell you constantly you're a failure for many many years and it's just getting worse (also my brain it just makes it all worse than it actually is)
You are a life saver! How much does your course cost?:)
Mar P - it's going to be an intensive 90 day course so it will be an investment both financially and in yourself. We're going to do it at a reduced rate this first time we offer it, and likely around $597 USD. I'd love for you to join us.
@@juliakristinamah thank you for your fast answer, I'd really love to do it but right now I'm a bit low, I'll put some extra hours at work and try to get there in time! You are amazing, thank you for helping so many on us with such important things! :)
@@marp1517 we will have a payment plan option and registration doesn't open until mid February so you have some time! I hope you can join us - it's going to be a game changer :-)
Yes!! Was always told I was a dumb blonde
Well this was proof that I’m not a secure person. I’m not able to do any of those things. Good to get confirmation I guess.
Something to work on?
Like the way you dress you have certainly style Julia by the way good content keep up the good work
You are awesome! Learned lots thank you!