How to Know if You're A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
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Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?
And if so, is this a bad thing?
Yes, there are definitely some challenges that can come up for HSP’s* but there are also some serious benefits to it. In this episode I talk about how to know if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, the signs that you're a highly sensitive person and what some of the struggles and strengths of being one are.
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Which of these traits surprised you the most?
That sensitivity has a gene.
It's genetic.
This helped me accept myself more.
Now it's just about how to deal with it, not how to eliminate it.
Thank you Julia!
@@user-gy7bg1rv6o isn't that so fascinating? Learning to have really good healthy boundaries and becoming more resilient are 2 of the most effective ways to hone that super power ;-)
@@juliakristinamah
I understand Julia!
Need to master that
Julia Kristina Counselling how does HSP deal with emotions at work especially criticism about work performance, took it too hard :( I only realised many of the superpowers and the challenges are what I’ve been facing in my life, it’s becoming so much frequent nowadays
Thank you so much. You help me on my journey and I have learned so much from you. Thank you for all your service. I definitely feel more empowered after this. My friends keep telling me being this sensitive is a gift but I have had a hard time seeing why that is true until now.
Does anyone else feel more in tune with animals because of their high level of sensitivity?
Not just animals but even small little things, changes in the surrounding nature
I have an Alaskan Malamute and I can communicate with him telepathically...I know that sounds strange, but I have had many instances where he responds to what I'm thinking...many times when I'm sad and crying, I go to him for comfort because he lets me know..."it's ok mamma.. I'm here for you"
Absolutely
I prefer low level light, quiet, don't like conflict, I need my sleep, I need a transition time, I REALLY TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, AND YES I HATE FAILING, AND I HATE CHANGE/OR UNCHANGED PLAN, VIOLENCE, CANT SAY NO MOST TIMES
I am polite considerate
I love tasty food and it does take me a while to choose
I work better alone than a team
I can tell when sum1 is off and help ppl that r feeling off, ppl do open up to me, songs can touch me, I like deep convos... so many thank YOU this is why I get stressed at work and emotional lots, and when there's change it really affects me
YES! And people think I’m crazy or delusional when I point out an animal suffering and that it’s not ok...people think those things are normal but they’re normalized damaging ways
Absolutely agree on "having an ability to sense authenticity". I always get a strong gut feeling if a person is "putting on a show". I can't stand fakeness, I detest it.
Daniel Becker Yes!!!
The same here
wow yes exactly what i thought today, and been feeling more and more intense recently. have been starting to feel annoyed about it tho dunno if thats good it just makes me mad
Sometimes I'm annoyed that I have this superpower because I want to just believe everyone's bullshit and be on my way but I can't and it causes stress.
Me 2
I was raised to be ashamed of being sensitive. Today at 42 years old, I am understanding myself and embracing my traits. Thank you
🌹🙏🌹
I was raised by narssasitic mother who made me feel ashamed about being too sensitive. She was so unemotional and insensitive that me showing my emotions made her feel uncomfortable.
Same
The biggest mistake that HSP's make is thinking that their high sensitivity is a flaw or defect. You are not a walking basket case. Do you have any idea how strong you are? You've gotta be incredibly strong to have an amplified nervous system and survive in this world. You rock. ♥️
Thanks for the pep talk, I can dig it. Need that affirmation from time to time.
Awwwh that’s so sweet God bless u
Bless your soul. This is so true
Blessings. 🙏🏾
Thank you
bless you too for your strength💚🤗
Avoiding conflict, is just me apologising first even when I'm not wrong.
I do that a lot as well
I do this all the time, im starting to feel like ive sacrificed a lot of my integrity to avoid conflict with people that i care a lot about and its starting to effect me 😞
I get it I've felt that when I saw the message I avoid conflict as well
i do this to and it can rly effect my mental health 😞
Hugs
HSP: 1. Need to take breaks when things feel overwhelming 2. Caffeine 3. Sensitivity of the senses 4. Avoid conflict 5. Hard time coping when sleep deprived 6. Difficulty switching focus 7. Hard time making decisions 8.Taking things personal 9. Hate failing and making mistakes 10. Don't like last minute changes to your plans 11. Need quiet to focus 12. Don't like violence on tv or movies 13. Hard time saying no
lets also rewrite the list with positives, I miss them here !
Good GOD. I fit all but one of that list. 🙄🙄🙄😢
I always get "You think too deep into things."
LATERNITE Yes, people tell me I overanalyze.
Yes me too
Yeah same
Same
I get this too
I was diagnosed as bipolar in my early 20s, but I'm actually just a highly sensitive person. All of these descriptions apply to me. As far as the violence goes, I was raised on action movies and have no problem with violence, but excessive blood, gore, and suffering I can't take. If it starts going into torture, I'm out. Shows like Game of Thrones or movies like Saw are absolutely no-go. The biggest one for me is I cry a lot. Happy tears, sad tears, being moved to tears, it's a thing, and it can be really embarrassing when I look around and I'm the only one. Then family members tease me over it and the sensitivity to criticism kicks in. Getting over toxic shame and learning self-love has been a pretty good shield against the more difficult aspects of being a HSP.
I know, Game of Thrones is like a nightmare:(
I used to absolutely love scary and horror flicks. I'd watch all of them, but since about 5 years ago I have turned opposite. I can't stand them. At one point my anxiety got too overwhelming just watching a TV show that had a simple conflict as part of the story that resolves at the end of the hour. I can't even watch the news any more. It's unbearable
I'm the same way when it comes to Saw but oddly enough I really do think I could torture someone if it was justified. Ironic huh?
I learned to hold my tears and now i can only cry when im alone. But i actually do enjoy crying now! Even as a 22 y/o guy.
People always used to make fun of me. If i wouldnt try to hold my tears i would cry when im watching a Disney movie with the family 😂. Nobody would cry but me 😂. I dont want that. My tears are for me alone :). It always makes me happy to cry
Omg same!!
Things that affect me:
1. Rude or ignorant people
2. People afflicted with stupidness
3. Criticism
4. Confrontation/arguments
5. Physical touch/closeness makes me cringe or shrink, so I've never had a girlfriend.
6. Bright lights
7. I can sense people's negativity/miserableness.
8. I am anxious about using a phone and freak out if someone unknown calls me.
And YES ! I DO take things personally and blame myself severely for failures.
John, I hope you can learn how to not blame yourself so much. I'm 100% certain everything is not always all your fault.
John M
Things that affect me:
1: phones
2: long videos
3: the color green
3: irony
4: lists
5: contradictions
5: repition
6: typos
Maybe I am wrong, but all your points make me think that you could be having PTSD. At least this is all true for PTSD.
bro your list matches mine....still don't know what to do...
sensing people's negativity/miserableness is so true... especially at work. I've had to learn how to block it out and not let other people drag me into their misery.
Am I the only one, who can drink coffee and go straight to bed with no issue falling asleep?
you are a god
I also don’t have any issues with caffeine. I find that it has no affect on me either way.
You might have a low blood pressure so coffe can be something that actually helps you feel “normal” in a way. Please go to your doctor and check it cause it’s a serious issue. I know this from experience cause my mum has the same situation as you
Zuza Zalewska Actually, my blood pressure is pretty good. My parents have high blood pressure so I get it checked regularly. Thanks for the info!
I’m the same way. I was born in Brazil and my mom gave me coffee with milk twice a day when I was growing up. I still drink it twice a day after 42 years 🤷🏼♀️ never bothered me and I can fall asleep very easily right after taking it at night. I don’t have a cut off time.
Omg, this resonates so much with me! I've been told my whole life I'm too sensitive, I care too much, I cry too much, I read people like a book! I feel their feelings when they talk to me. I get so passionate about politics and human rights, I play several instruments and I annoy my husband while I play a piece of classical music and cry because I feel it so deeply... I thought I was crazy!
I love that, "Your Intuition is the place where your heart and mind meet."
this is freaky how accurate this shit is. goddamn my whole life is clear to me now
Youn dont have HSP only 15-20 percent of the population have it its very rare shes talking about just people being a little sensitive. But HSP is on a whole nother level you should look more into it.
@@jasminedelphine2882 15-20% isn't rare at all, and how would you know what i have or don't have
@@oriondrums2 you might have it however alot of people have the things she named in the video and 15-20% of the population is rare our population is 7 billion that is rare
@@oriondrums2 im also just annoyed because i was diagnosed with this and now everyone is saying they have it which alot of people dont its alot diffrent then what she mentioned in the video
@@jasminedelphine2882 15-20% of 7 billion is between 1.05 billion and 1.4 billion. you're gonna tell me thats rare? It's a minority of people, but a very significant one
1. Overstimulation by Caffeine, 2. Sleep deprivation, 3 Conflict avoidance, 4. Difficulty to focus on many things at a time, 5. Getting stuck in indecision, 6. Don't like when plans change suddenly... That's me! So I guess I am a highly sensitive person...
Thanks for sharing - I hope you found it insightful.
Only 15-20 percent of the population have this i was diagnosed with it. And the things that she mentioned in the video sorta bother everyone that doesnt really have anything to do with it. HSP means you feel things diffrently like emotional stuff and clothing or sounds ill start to freak out if i have to wear certain clothing i dont like or sounds and i know everyone has something that annoys them but this is on a whole nother level
Apparently, I’m a very tough HSP. 😉
Also happens to be textbook autistic traits, lmao.
@@MyouKyuubi yes, my thought too!
I will get into conflicts when I feel there is an injustice because I obsess over that. I hate fake people or having to be fake myself. I enjoy being around kids because they have easy emotions and accept my emotions. I am a librarian at schools. But I run for smoke breaks even if I dont need or enjoy it. I have zero control over it and I'm now realizing what this is.
I love working with the elderly. I’ve worked as a PTA working in geriatrics for 22 years. I love connecting with elderly folks (most of them are beyond the bs pretense.) I’ve never gelled well with my peers. Even as a small child I preferred to hang with the grandparents, great aunts and uncles.
I avoid conflict like the plague. I also am very sensitive to noise, smells, and certain fabrics against my skin. The worst is wearing a bra!! Cannot wear that thing long at all!!!!
@@BlindFaith777 exact same. I also work with elderly on wkends. Bras, certain fabrics, etc, just like u said. I cant stand it.
I agree 💯. I seem to be able to get into conflict if I’m sticking up for someone else, but never for myself.
When you mention hating fakeness and enjoying working with children, I instantly connect.
I have every single one of these qualities. I'm sensitive to sounds, smells, tastes, I can't stand being interrupted when I'm talking or doing something, I need a lot of peace and quiet, I struggle with boundaries, I'm emotionally sensitive, violence definitely bothers me, I'm not afraid to go deep, I can work well with others very well and put them in a good mood, though I work very well alone too, florescent lights are the worst, etc. This is spot on. Thank you 😊💜
Oh my gosh!, I hate fluorescent lights too. I think it’s because we can feel the radiation coming from them. Same way I can feel WiFi and cellular signals. Wow, I love you guys. I feel like I am normal now.
Same.
I started crying today. The other day my teacher said "Well because you're not paying attention" because I simply didn't understand something. Today, my mother told me to get something from my brother's room, and I knocked because the door was locked. She yelled "What are you doing? This is what Mr.Holiday was talking about! You don't listen!" So I started crying.
She called me sensitive and tried to hug me, I didn't want to be near her. But being a child I "had" to go to her. It's been about 20 minutes and I'm still upset.
1. I hate the light, I love dark.
2. I hate criticism.
3. Whenever somebody is sad I want to cry for them.
4. I rarely get any sleep.
5. I cannot take pain very well.
6. Certain scents make me sad.
7. I am very sensitive to fluffy fabrics, they send chills down my spine just thinking about it.
@a Don't give up. If you seem to be having a bad time getting friends, wait. You yourself is good enough, and nobody can take that away from you. Someone will like the way you are and take contact. Especially if you keep your authenticity.
I know it might seem hard right now but I believe in you. I too have hsp, I think. I don't handle parties well with all it's noise and people getting drunk and making me feel uncomfortable, and I certainly don't enjoy when someone is acting in another way that's not right. But, that's okay. There will always be those who keep their masks in order to fit in, but you don't have to keep in contact with them.
Being sensitive is hard in this world, and I can't even imagine how though you have it. Friends, even if it's one really good friend you can talk deeply with is such a blessing. I want everyone to have at least one friend they can connect with in that aspect, and I feel sorry for those who don't.
I wholeheartedly want you the best. Having no friends must make you feel so hollow, so misunderstood and so damn sad. I can sometimes go in one of my sleep deprived (or that's what I think they are) fits, and feel every harsh comment and my evil head hanging around my shoulders saying I'm worthless, I'm nothing and I don't have any real friends left. When I feel these terrible thoughts and feelings spir up inside me; I can only begin to imagine how bad you must have it now.
I'm not one who cries often, and I don't think I've been able to so for the last couple of years, but to you, if I could, I would.
I was in the library studying with my friends and after the 4th or 5th time that I moved seats and tables my friend burst out laughing asking why I always do this. I said that I can't study with the certain combinations of lighting and noise, facing too many people, or seeing too many people walk by. I always thought everyone was like that. I always tried to figure out why I really really struggled to work in public places even when it is quite, but too many people are moving around near me or the lighting is off or something else. It's weird how small things like this start to make sense.
Damn I totally help when someone is feeling left out by bringing them in.
Me too - and random strangers always tell me their life stories which I love
I HATE conflict! I can't deal with. It's one of the biggest struggles I have as a leader.
I absolutely hate conflict. It makes me feel restricted, like im choking on air or on guilt or just bad feelings in general.
The best part is that we 'are not flawed'!! I always thought this was a 'bad' thing in my personality.
Me too. I first initiated this journey of the self to "fix" whatever was wrong with me... I'm glad the journey brought me here
I can’t believe it! Everyone of those descriptions was me. I almost cried when you went through the list the characteristics of a sensitive person. You hit the nail on the head describing me. I was thinking when you almost got to the end and you hadn’t mentioned “ hating injustice “ that was going to be the one you missed, then you described what that would be like for a sensitive person . I am a Christian and it hurts me so much how my church treat gay people, or anyone that had a bad past. I find myself standing up for these people, but feel that I mostly stand alone because the few that feels like e I do are afraid to say anything. The sensitivity to coffee was right on point as
Well. Caring, work better alone,the noise level, love working with others, but work better alone. I thought that there was something wrong with me and wondered why God made me this way. I saw it as a course not a blessing because others would criticize me for being too sensitive. Thank you so much! I want to watch it again! Lol
Hi I'm a Christian also and a highly sensitive person. I'm just wondering how exactly your church treats gay people? The church I go to treats everyone the same loving way. Thanks. Maeve
I recently discovered this about myself. I read the book, and it was absolutely about me. I have always thought that there was something wrong with me. Thank goodness I learned about this trait at the ripe old age of 53..... Better late than never=)
so freeing when we realize it's not a flaw.
58
What is the book's name?
How though did learning it was a real thing change your life? I thought i would feel validated. But knowing this still does not change the people around you. You still have to put up with the same your crazy talk and treatment. And the ones who mean the most to you think trying to get them to understand HSP is crap, and you are just trying to find a way to normalize your craziness.
Can someone plz tell us the name of the book :)
I got out of my car in the WalMart parking lot to break up a fight between two women over a parking spot. I begged them to stop and said something like "Please, can we have just a little peace in this world!! Times are hard enough!" It helped the situation, but I realized later I could have gotten hurt or killed!!!
I think it was brave of you. We need MORE love warriors like you!
Listening to this video. Just brought flashbacks of memory all the way from childhood. Like it hit me like I was always this person, the signs were always there and it only after 30 years did my family start to pick on it. I remember going to this movie with my mom and it affected me so much like I was crying and it affected me like I started thinking about why life was cruel and all that stuff. And she couldn't understand it. It's good to know that I am not crazy and that the reason for me feeling a certain way was not just me.
the thing that I find the hardest is that I can feel other peoples emotions so much that if they're hurting then it hurts me too and I want to desperately help them and when I can't it just feels overwhelming
There is nothing wrong with being a highly sensitive person. One thing though that is important is that the person dating a highly sensitive person needs to know that so they can be more gentle with criticism.
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS that would make a great video!
In my experience, not everyone is cut out for dealing with a highly sensitive person. I'm basing this on my own attempts at friendships etc. with insensitive or self-centred types... it's really hard. I can't speak for others, but as an HSP myself, criticism seems to be the least of my problems as long as it's constructive and not just a rude dig. Sensitivities that cause me to physically react (loud sounds, bright flashing lights, uncomfortable clothes, extreme heat, confrontation etc.) seem to be the most difficult for friends/family to empathize with. They just think I'm being 'difficult' again.
I totally agree - do you think this video would help a non-HSP understand better?
I do really bad with criticism.
@@juliakristinamah Hello! In response to your question....Yes as long as they're not NPD like my recent ex...I don't think he would even watch it...
“You’re too nice” is what I heard for 30 years. This boils down who I am perfectly. Most of these I’ve identified on my own, but goodness, what a struggle. I sent this to my family and told them that; “This is why I disappear into my bedroom on occasion.” I’m 60 and hope that all like “us,” including the younger folks, hear this message... You’re just fine as you are. Also, lighting and onions hit me like a hammer! Love your “sessions.”
I get told that alot to. And I get told I'm weak for it, and I dont agree with that because to me it takes a strong person to experience life on such an intense level.
I've been told this too. 50 yrs old and just now accepting myself.
@@bryanjustus4235 I’m 48. Still haven’t managed any acceptance of it
@@korimcentire2346 many people see it as weak. That’s the problem. The world is FULL of narcissists, and such people don’t have much empathy, and don’t think anything about raging at or manipulating people. Which makes people like us VERY VERY prone to them and then hurting us!!! We really have to verse ourselves on that or we can end up in a relationship or friendship with a narcissist and that’s VERY hard to get out of
I could be the poster child for this mindset! I find myself being misunderstood on a daily basis. or being judged for my sensitivity.
My Guidance Counselor from high school informed me how she thought I was an HSP, and told me to take the Myers Briggs test and I got INFP. I just felt so understood and it has really helped my anxiety having coping skills when things get overwhelming that worked for me. (like taking breaks, walking in nature, mindfulness, music, reading, taking time for myself to recharge, journaling, art expression.) I am eternally grateful for her wisdom and insight of getting to have a better understanding of myself at such a young age. I am a teenager and I'm thinking of becoming a therapist to help so many others.
I have a hard time with conflict.
Holly Menager me too like a collapse feeling
Me too, I end up crying.
Thanks for this video, you've described me to a T. I've been ridiculed for being 'too sensitive' my whole life. I can't drink caffeine without bouncing off the walls and then sinking into depression afterwards. I try to avoid it completely. I tend to take everything personally...reading far too deep into things people do and say. Loud noises, bright lights, extreme heat/cold, heavy scents are all hard for me and if clothing is not soft, I don't wear it. Any clothing that feels confining makes me irritable....tight clothing, turtlenecks, tight sleeves, belts etc. The minute I get home from work, off come the fitted clothes and on go the soft, comfortable lounging clothes. Conflict is the worst for me so I hide away from it. This has cost me relationships. I even find that if I'm watching a movie where everyone is fighting, I have to turn it off as it will sink me into sadness and agitation. As for sleep, I need a full night or I get scatterbrained and depressed. If my train of thought is interrupted, I'll snap back and be agitated for a while. Loud crunching, rattling of shopping bags, fireworks, loud noises in general, jar me and agitate me. It's all these reactions that have had me judged as 'difficult' by family and friends my entire life. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I don't understand this as my symptoms usually follow one of the triggers I've mentioned above. Neither the depression or anxiety lasts long, they're more 'reactions' than anything else. On a positive side, my intuition is off the charts amazing. I get feelings about people and situations long before other people I know. Sometimes this is very overwhelming too though.
My latest 'brick wall' that is causing me to freeze rather than proceed is a project where I have to finish and paint some baseboards in my house left incomplete by a contractor. These baseboards have been staring at me for months, supplies ready to go, but the minute I look at the job I feel overwhelmed, then make some excuse that I'll do it later rather than finish it up. These baseboards have become a taunting antagonist in my life lol.... It's ridiculous. :)
I totally relate!!!! I have been overwhelmed by my office, the last room in my house to put together after a renovation... 5 months ago! And yes I relate by being judged "too sensitive" :(
I can relate to your baseboard situation. My flooring contractor ripped all trim and baseboards out and did an awful job replacing them. I don't want to paint them. It's been a year! I need to replace them so I can finish this job. Makes me feel Grrrrrrr! when I look at them. Lol
@@Jamama4 Seriously... this is SO funny! It's been a year for me too! The EXACT same thing happened to me and it upsets me to even look at the lousy job left behind. If I could show you photos you would probably laugh, maybe even relate. The thought of finishing them the way they are riles me to no end.... I'm thinking of ripping them out and starting over! lol Note to self... next time, do not hire a contractor 'friend of a friend'...ugh! Is it weird that I feel relief that someone else is going through the same baseboard nightmare? lol
@@claudinesouza8995 Do you tend to do great work but just as you near the end of a project, you delay the finish? I'm so guilty of that. It feels like self-sabotage! I totally get what you're saying about that office of yours, I did something similar with my last house lol Yikes, what are we doing?... maybe JK knows! The next time someone judges you and calls you too sensitive say "Well I'd rather be too sensitive than not sensitive at all..." ...I find that usually shuts them up.... especially when it dawns on them that you're probably talking about them and their judgy attitude ;)
Lol yes sometimes I bite my tongue not to say things like that!!!
I was surprised to learn about this “trait” of sensitive people. About my office... I first avoided it completely. Now what I do is to work on it a bit, then leave it. I cleared my desk, for example. My bills and business stuff are all filed properly. But the rest... I can’t even understand why I do it. I think JK would tell me: Claudine, just do it. Set a day for yourself, and only work on your office! You will feel so much better!!
About your baseboards... it seems like a bigger job. So totally understandable to put it off. And yes, so funny how just knowing someone has the same problem brings us comfort :)
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.....!!!! I am blown away! I have been apologizing for being "so sensitive" since I was a kid, and I'm 46 now! Thank you for this! You validated me and empowered me!🌈🍀🌻🌟💚💜
So glad i found this. Ya’ll my family because for a long time i wondered why i cry easily. Its hard when people around you cant understand you and kind of make you feel like something is wrong for crying easily. Love you all 🥰
I'm definitely a HSP. Especially emotionally.I am extremely aware of my surroundings and am extremely self-aware of my thoughts and feelings. And really, to the point where it has its debilitating moments. It makes it somewhat difficult to remain emotionally stable because I have (had) a tendency to drown out the noise with things like weed, alcohol or other depressant distractions which always have cons in some way or another. I love caffeine but it gets harder and harder to stomach the older I get as its anxious effects are beginning to outweigh its pros. I'm extremely sensitive to drugs (prescription or otherwise). It even used to confuse me as a child why people didn't notice or were not as aware of certain things as I was.
I also have this insane drive to face things that bother me - which as an HSP leads for an interesting life. For instance, I hate conflict...but I must know how I will handle it if it arises (i.e. what am I made of?) so I put myself in conflict (not seek it) to get better at it. Truth is I only get better at it in practice, not because it "feels" any better. I'm easily anxious about anything and everything but I insist on pushing through those feelings by challenging myself to pretty uncomfortable levels (sailing a boat alone/in a storm, traveling the world by myself, having a job to give presentations to hundreds of people at a time on complex topics, skydiving, talking to a girl out of my league, performing music, riding a motorbike through Vietnam haha). These aren't impulsive actions but anxiously crafted events if not obligations. My therapist is confused by it, and frankly, I am sometimes as well because it leads to some extremely tough days. But the pros have always outweighed the cons, even at the cons worst- because as being an HSP my "life highs" can be extremely rewarding, maybe moreso than most, despite the uphill struggle. And it's the struggle that makes the highs so special.
I appreciate relationships more, I empathize more, simple things mean more to me, and when I win at something I feel extremely accomplished not just because I won, but because I can feel all the steps it took to get there. And as I cope with my HSP qualities and recognize what makes me happy and what doesn't, I find that depression (which used to be a common part of my life) is rare. Self-care is of the upmost importance to a person like me (or us), I believe.
Anyways, I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I thought this video was interesting and made me reflect. Maybe someone can relate. Thanks for posting it!
You are like me, like exactly me. Interesting thing to know.
I can super relate to this
About conflicts, sleep, decisions, perfeccionism/failure, much to do, change, disappoint? That's me indeed....
*A non-exhaustive list of the things that affect me:*
1. Needing breaks when things are overwhelming (typically crying for a minute in the bathroom, then going back as if everything is normal)
2. Overstimulation of senses. One of the best examples: I have a form of misophonia, I can't stand a very specific sound, it basically hurts my brain when in reality, it's very faint). Also sensitive to the touch of certain materials, one in particular, it's lenticular plastic (very tight ones), which can be found on 3D lenticular cards or sometimes school binders.
3. Can't for the life of me wear turtlenecks, it feels suffocating
4. Avoid conflict (even if it means lying about my true opinion just to avoid any fight) and being very very afraid to disappoint anyone in general. If someone points a small error in my work and then move on (because it was just worth noting), I'm going to obsess over this detail and feel very bad about it for days, weeks. Mixed with anxiety, it's... interesting. Also, if someone is raising their voice at me, i'll start crying 9 out of 10 times. And if i'm getting very angry at someone, i'll start crying too (veeeery undermining)
5. Sleep-deprivation makes me very emotional in general, I tend to cry a lot more over "silly" things
6. I can get very caught up in what I'm doing and often have to ask the person to wait a couple of minutes before shifting my attention to them. Other times, i'm very good at multitasking.
7. I often take things VERY personally
8. I have a hard time dealing with last-minute changes
9. Hate hate hate scary movies (nightmares for days), don't mind violence though (if it's not too graphic)
10. SUPER hard time saying no, even if it means I'll have to work even more to get things done. Also, if a friend is having a hard time, no matter how insanely busy I am, I'll always offer my help
11. If I see someone not feeling well, even if I don't know them very well, I'll go in "mom mode".
12. I'm very drawn to people who experienced a lot of pain in the past (bullying, grief, etc.) and often realize why after we become friends. We often find ourselves having very casual conversations turn very deep in a matter of minutes.
13. I CAN't tell if people are authentic or not. I have a lot of anxiety and am very afraid my friends aren't really my friends, they're just making fun of me or whatever which is a very deep rooted fear, unfounded but it's very difficult to ease my mind about it.
14. Super affected by art in general (paintings, music and writing in particular). Turned me into a writer.
15. I was never afraid to talk deep stuff but accepting my emotions as they are is still pretty new to me (and videos like this help sooo much). Accepting that anger, fear, disappointment or whatever is normal... It's a difficult but necessary step.
16. Very caring, always offering an ear and a shoulder to cry on. It's still pretty difficult for me to set boundaries though.
Odile Vanhellemon. I’m the same-I can’t always read people.
I am 52, I am guy, and I just cried through the entire video. But then I "closet" cry at most things, movies, music, art, Tide commercials. I cried because I was overwhelmed. I didn't know this was a thing. I have spent my life suppressing, and fighting, but mostly trying to ignore this ultra awareness and the overwhelming, deep physical and emotional response to EVERYTHING. You just described the majority of my internal and external battles with such precision and I am completely overwhelmed. I thought it was just me. I thought these were my flaws that make me unbearable at times. Wow, Thank you, Thank you so much.
I really loved hearing the positives. Being highly sensitive is sometimes something I've strongly disliked about myself. I never thought of it as a good thing and will be referring to this in the future ❤️
Yasss!! Sarah Jane - it is your super power. I'm so glad it connected with you.
I thought I was weak, now I know I have this HSP.
You seem very genuine/authentic/kind/sweet. Also, I like your hairstyle.
Just found your channel, after 40+ years of therapy FINALLY it’s making sense, THANK YOU SO MUCH, WOW
Im a hsp person im totally sensitive in small or big things especially when someone scolded me infront of many people or even when im alone..
I can definitely understand that! I don't like it when people do that either.
I instantly start crying when another adult corrects me with a tone that expresses that they're really upset. When people are frustrated at me I can't hold it together and start crying too. It's frustrating for me because I can't stop it.
I am like really sensitive. Everytime I run my eyes get watery. Everytime someone says the littelest thing I just want to cry out loud. Whenever I'm fighting with ym sister I feel like someone just punched me in the heart. My heart starts tingling and i start shaking and laughing like a creepy person and I just cry a lot. I mean I'm in fifth grade I need to stop. It makes me feel better sharing it.
All your saying is the same as me and yes i am 5th grade ;w;
Spiderman didn't know how to use his powers immediately. With great power, comes great responsibility ;D You'll get a hang of it as you grow older, don't worry :)
I’m 52 and still feel hurt if I argue with my sister. It means you love her and you don’t want to have pain. Try to stop in the middle of arguing , walk away, think , relax. Come back calm and talk out why or what you’re both arguing about, see if you can come to a fair solution. Not easy but it’s worth a try instead of heartache.
Talk to your school counselor. They helped me a lot when I was your age. It’s great that you’re so self aware at your age
I knew I was a HSP before this video. I don't know about the Tide commercials, during the Olympics, but last year there was an insurance commercial, I think, I'm not even sure what was being advertised, but it played a song about coming home, and the brother/son was coming back home for the holidays. I cried every time it started to play. You actually had me crying, talking about the strengths. My partner always told me my biggest blessing is also my worst nightmare, my heart, because I stay vulnerable for people to take advantage.
A good test of knowing if you are highly sensitive is if you cry while watching these videos on being highly sensitive ❤
OMG, is it me you are describing JULIA darling?
I knew all about myself but I didnt know any name for it , and I thought it's just me.
What I can add about me as a highly sensitive person is :
I cant stand people Gossips,
I cant stand peoples intertwine in my business,
I cant stand peoples MANIPULATION / CUNNINGNESS,
I cant stand INJUSTICE behaviour towards someone else.
I cant stand MESSINESS, CROWDED, SMELLY ENVIRONMENT,
I love and adore CREATIVE, BEAUTIFUL,HELPFUL MINDS.
Every single point I can relate to. ✌
So strongly!
I can relate too
i really take really everything personally and i find it hard to end text messages.
Same
I am feeling the effect of watching this as deeply righting me as a human being who beats to a different drum. I am unique and this is refreshing and recalibrating. Thank you.
Thank you. This is so informative and love that it includes also super powers. So important to recognize sensitive people run a risk of being taken for granted or even worse, being taken advantage of by some one. Happy New Year💕
Thank you for this video Julia! Sometimes I feel like I can't function in this modern world of ours, so many things wear me down and keep me in a near-panicky state almost all the time. I have read Elaine Aaron's books but still find it difficult to feel that being a HSP is a superpower.
I can't tolerate caffeine at all, and I can take ages choosing the right cookies or any food really at the supermarket, so I tend stick to routine even in foods.
It is dryad - but we do have to make sure we are also building our resilience, managing our mind and our thoughts, and creating good healthy boundaries in our lives. We we are working on these things, our energy doesn't get hijacked by everything else in our environment.
I feel you, dryad. The fact is that our western/modern culture and society is tailored on the far more common less sensitive people. Plus, there is still society wide stygma, which certainly doesn't help. Just remember, you have to watch out for you, and this means knowing that you simply cannot live as the average joe, you have to take precautions, and live a life that's specific for you! Cheers :)
Why people love to read Jane Austen
This was AWESOME!!! You've described so many of my characteristics and I've been ashamed and embarrassed about them. Thank you!
I'm so grateful it connected! And I hope you can own who you are much more now. xo
I can’t drink caffeine after 10 am! Thank you for validating that our sensitivity isn’t a bad thing. We make the best teachers. I cry at the commercials!
Every single point you’ve made described me perfectly. Unbelievable. I struggle with seeing this personality as a positive but will try to view it this way in the future. Thank you Kristina for taking the time to make this video to help others.
No matter how i try i CANNOT see it as positive. Because the world doesn’t. Many of our traits irritate, anger, or annoy people in general. The only plus i see about it is how compassionate it makes me to others and how good i feel when i help them. ❤❤
I am HSP. That was a fantastic video. I identify with about 95%. Personal trauma and insecurity keep me from the other 4%. 1% for the food - I am so over sensitive that I can only tolerate bland food. I love your videos!! So very thoughtful and in depth. I think if I ever date again, I will link to this video so my potential boyfriend can know more about me; give him the chance to run away fast! Unfortunately some narcissists eat us for lunch because of our poor boundary skills. Again, excellent video!
Boundaries are ESSENTIAL for HSP's. My life before and after learning how to have healthy boundaries is like night and day.
I wish you luck in finding one who actually, genuinely cares. I Can not even get my family to care enough to watch any info on HSP. Its just all boring and crap to them. Just a bunch of crazy people trying to validate their crazy.
This is so me! I thought most of this was just from anxiety or depression. Love your videos, thank you.
HSPs are more susceptible to anxiety and depression because we feel things more deeply - all the things.
@@juliakristinamah I see...that makes so much sense. Thank you. I wish I could pause these feelings for a bit, I need a break!
I feel the same way Tammy - I get so tired and emotionally drained - a lot!
I feel the same
This hit the nail right on the head. I often feel very overwhelmed and put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, always aware what people might be thinking, and often want to cry at work and have to take a few mins. I always feel daft! This is Brill
Oh my, you just described me to perfection! Yes, I hate conflict but do stand up for righteousness!
I remember being around 4 or 5 yrs old and hating all the lights at the mall. I prefer natural light. A few years ago I discovered I was raised by 2 narcissist. While researching I discovered HSP and I felt such relief! All the things that I was mocked for actually had a word...highly sensitive person! I made these discoveries at 53 yrs old. I went no contact with family and am working on not carrying others emotions.
Having healthy boundaries with not carrying other's emotions is huge - good for you.
Good for you! Sorry you had to deal with that.
I have a similar upbringing too. Narcissistic mother and emotionally absent father. I wonder if there is a correlation between narcissistic parenting and growing up to be Hsp's ?
@Don X Thanks!
@@adamhall5332 I wonder too.
You are amazing and a blessing! I identified with 90% of the traits! I was always led to believe that I was flawed both in my personal relationships and my work life because I am super sensitive. Thank you for helping me see a different side of this! I’m 65, widowed and retired with a grown family. But....it’s never too late to feel good about ourselves! Thank you for sharing all of this information! I love listening to your videos and I’m in the process of listening to all of them , 💗
I related to everything here. I have an intensely hard time choosing perfume (I love it, it's a hobby). I love a wide variety of things (but spray less than most people) and like to keep variety around. I really love and appreciate tons of them and I'm super indecisive of what I'll wear each day
Thank you Julia for so eloquently articulating this subject. Each and every point you hit describes me and my “proclivities” perfectly. For most of my life I’ve felt like an alien amongst the normal people around me, wondering what was wrong with me and at times questioning whether the depths of my experience were “really real”. You are a rockstar and you are doing great things. I’m so grateful to have come across this information. Thank you again.
I wonder what careers most highly sensitive people go into? And which ones they are best suited for.
Lauren, I became a nurse and worked in hospitals, but never in the emergency room. I had empathy for the patients and also enjoyed working with other nurses, doctors, staff members.
I work at Tysons. They are a humanitarian company and I enjoy that.
I opted for Psychology, as I believe because of my high compassion I can really help people. But at the same time too much empathy can be a downfall too. Learning how to be objective although
Self-employment currently 😆🤣
Any service-oriented job. For example, I've gone into teaching and it's both a blessing and a curse, but I'm trying to find the balance. So long as you make yourself the priority and not your emotional punching bag, I'm sure any career would be fine:)
"You need thicker skin" this has been said to me several times. And one person decided he needed to explain what kind of thick skin by referring to an alligator.lol😵
I have grown such a thic skin, nobody can read me, nobody can feel me, nobody can understand me. Not even other HSPs or empaths. Really difficult to get rid of this enormous wall. I wish people were more informed about sensitivity, they wouldnt try to beat it out of the kids. But everyone do what they think is best 😉. "To prepare for the hard bitter world". I dont want to see the world as such. It can be beautiful and it is beautiful.
I want to make a t- shirt that says "grow confidence not thick skin"
I am HSP and extroverted. I can suffer from under stimulation as well. There is a sweet spot between too much and too little for me.
Agreed
Wow. Truer words have never been spoken. I love it when others can articulate how I'm feeling because they are the same! My 5 year old knows that mama prefers warm incandescent to bright white lights! I need at least 10 hours of sleep or I'm a mess! Distractions completely irritate me when I'm focused on something! All of these things she mentioned! Yes yes and yes! Oh and no caffeine for me after 12pm! Wow. Just wow.
I have been in a verbally abusive relationship for 13 years and just woke up to this being a real thing.
I learned I may be hsp after getting reoccuring asceptic meningitis and multiple hospitalizations. So I researched why, the docs had no answer.
Trauma can be from prolonged subtle abuse. Cptsd mirrors much of this.
Patricia Evans has great books to help.
I believe HSP is deeply linked to abuse.
My 2 cents. Thanks for listening.
Please reply to me. I think I may be HSP. Have recently left what I thought was abusive relationship- my husband is trying to get me to go back- he is saying that he is not abusive, but that I am HSP. Do you think that HSPs will " hear" abuse when its " not really there"??
Please help!!
Omg...yes! I often have many Dr. Appointments. I've found through your advice that I need to space out my appointments. Otherwise, I get extremely overwhelmed and become more anxious. I've learnt so much about myself and how to deal with things easier since I found your channel. 🙏😊💕
Ahhh!! Siera! This is music to my ears, girl. GOOD for you for investing in your healing and growth. #inthistogether
✝️😔
This is incredible. So many of the characteristics I find in myself and it is so good to hear there are people who are simmilar and they are not a nuisance. Thank you Julia.
I recently discovered I am an HSP, and it has been life-changing already. I found your video to be so helpful. God bless you. ❤
Oh my God, I was nodding like a bobblehead through ALL of this!!!!!!!!
Then your issue is just simply a rubbery spine. Try some calcium tablets to strengthen your bones.
Sorry, stupid joke. Hehe.
I believe you. It was spot on for me too.
wow, I am so happy to have found this, I am always complimenting others and take things to heart when they aren't the same, I can 100% relate to all the senses being effected! I never knew it was connected, also I can't read a paragraph without complete silence, so many of them rang true. thank you for this!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed this so badly. The walls of shame that I built were really holding me back. I needed to hear there is hope, and strengths that come with sensitivity.
i was never really sure about being highly sensitive but after watching your video and agreeing with everything you said i’m considering it even more than before. thank you for sharing this. also love the shade of color in the video, it really helped focussing on what you are saying
Oh my god, these are all my issues!!
I would never have described myself as sensitive..... 😟 but this makes a lot of sence to me.... hmmm
Thank you so much for this Julia - I've been made to feel inferior all my life for being "too" sensitive..... it was so wonderful to have it explained so clearly....
I'm SO glad it connected. And you are SO not inferior!
You just hit home ! Wow I am amazed by writing this things and being like... so there are people who understand ! I wanted to add that an issue with understanding other peoples emotions and intentions is that sometimes you find certain ugly truths and you can't do anything about it but over all I love this video, I am so thankful and hopeful I am not just broken.
These resonates with me from childhood:
1. People feel safe to open up with me
2. Sensitive to smell/sound
3. Too sensitive to cloth especially anything artificial and stiff
4.feeling overwhelmed when around people for too long
5. Need personal space to regain energy
6. I am too touched with music/ events / others problems
7. I escape conflict at all cost, cause dont want to experience tgat strong emotions
8. From childhood I cried so easily and laugh too easily too
9. I just get people's true intentions naturally but I cannot explain why in sentences
10. I am really sensitive to what i eat , how long I sleep, exercise that if I dont care my body physically shuts down, for years I passed out once or twice a year and my parents were worried about why, is it epilepsy .... but all the results were too normal, so I guess it is because of being highly sensitive
11. I am so compassionate and empathic that sometimes I think i cannot bear
12. I am sensitive to coffeine
13. I can detect subtle changes in peoples behaviour and environment
14. When I have so much to do , I get freezed dont know what to do
15. I get deep into the stuff especially the psychological reasons behind why people do things
I was punished a lot because of being too sensitive by my parents ... I agree with all of it but I thought this is because of my ENFP personality type, is there a connection there?
Whoa! Every single thing you spoke about is me to a TEE!!! I can not get over it!
Really glad it connected gmadiva. And as you can see by all the comments, you are not alone.
@@juliakristinamah I can't tell you how much this means to me. I will be hanging on every word you say. I'm a retired R.N. and I appreciate you so much. My name is Kate, and it is a total pleasure to "meet" you. I can't afford therapy, so I appreciate listening to you. Thank you so much!
What surprised me the most is that Julia described ME 😳!!! Lol. I seriously laughed through the whole video. All points are me except that I don’t always follow my instincts because I was taught not to trust myself. I’m so thankful that Julia understands me, and that I am not a freak or even overly sensitive but can see this as a super power. Thank you for balancing this info with pros afterwards! I’ve needed boundaries my whole life. Wish I’d known this since my teen years as it would have helped me accept myself, as well as being able to navigate through life in a healthy way. 🦋
Omg FINALLY a description of me and how I feel every day of my life!!! I have spent my life believing I'm totally insane, weird, flaky, dramatic and unable to cope in the way others can. This all makes so much sense. This PERFECTLY describes me!!!!!
I am immune to caffeine, but I am a sensation-seeking HSP.
Conflict is so crippling for me even if I’m “in the right” I just can’t without extreme strain
Look up how to be assertive. It may give you the strength you need.
@@ChantelSoul thank you I’ll do that
@@ixymogun8052 everytime you confront a situation you'll get stronger and stronger. Assertiveness will teach you how to look in someone's eyes and tell someone how you feel while being diplomatic. Times out for letting people run over us, talk to us a certain way...all of that. God bless.
You hit on many things I’m sensitive to; wool, turtle necks, coffee (12noon is my limit), lights but I’m not sensitive all the time to these things.
Some of big ones, conflict, failure, being perfect. Worrying about how other people’s mood are because of me!
At 52, I feel I’ve shut myself down in situations for self preservation because of the BS.
My boyfriend always asks what’s wrong when I cry at movies or commercials, lol.
I know I’m special because of my sensitivity BUT others don’t get it.
So I’ve learned to pull away and not be as giving of myself, then I get labeled a
B’otch ! Sad but true!
Maybe pulling away is good because reserve my “ power” for the truelly special people in my life. This video was me to the core. Thank for reinforcing what I all ready realized.
You helped me to realize that I am HSP. Oh!, and I can have coffee just 5 minutes before bed. Thank God, cause I love it.
I cannot even tell you how much this is me! It's actually incredible. My husband is the absolute opposite and really doesn't get the intuition bit and lots more besides. I will try and get him to watch it so he understands a little bit more. Thank you Julia you are a wonderful woman ❤
Yes! Have him watch it and let me know how it goes!
Thank you so much for doing this video. So appreciate your knowledge. This is me on every level. I'm working on those boundaries. You have a beautiful heart.
Healthy Boundaries are life! So grateful it connected Kasey.
There is so much power in finally understanding my inner self. Thank you for this video. I am a very proud HSP! Changing the world through love one day at a time. ❤
I cannot fully put into words how this video made me feel. You described me perfectly. Thank you for this Julia!
Tbh I also blame myself for everything when my friends are sad. Even tho I didn't do nothing I stil blame myself for there sadness. If they are in a problem I blame myslef for not being there and helping them
I used to be like that but it better now , I get overprotective over the ppl I love
IMHO this is not sign of hipersensitivity. It is sign that your parents (caregivers) were using blaming and smaing when you were young child. This is very common case when one was rised by manipulative and inmature parents. Try to disangage and ask yourself if this is really your personality or just emotional pattern from the past. Hope it will help you rlease this ☺️ Love 💖 🥰
When someone suddenly gives me tasks and I already have enough, it feels like bricks falling on my head
Every one of these were exactly on target for me. My boundaries are lousy. There's always room for anyone who needs help. I'm a perfectionist in all ways. Amazing explanation of who I am. Thank you.
I’m in my 40s now I didn’t notice the stuff I was younger it seems like it’s getting worse now .
That was me on 90% of those characteristics. Especially the bs meter. Thanks for the video, it helps to know that others deal with this too. I don't really know many people that relate to this and it leaves me feeling isolated much if the time
I hope you can see now that you are SO not alone rsn sol!
I was thinking about that! I was reading the comments and thinking it's good to know that myself (and 1 friend) are not the only ones!
rsn sol Maybe your insensitive friends should watch this video...
Dear Julia, I cannot express how much I am happy that you mentioned the difficulty switching focus while working on sth. I literally am that. I needed to explain it to my partner and colleagues, but I find it difficult socially, because I feel like I come off as rude or unfriendly, even rigid. I try to compromise, but it always costs me lots of energy. When I work, I need deep focus to be able to connect the dots and work efficiently. If someone starts talking to me about something else, I feel like all this energy I spent on focusing and gathering the information is wasted. It really stresses me out. I find it very helpful listening to calming music while working and taking short breaks to chit chat / connect to others.
Thank you for this amazing video!
Thank you. This was incredibly reaffirming. I am an INFJ and I have studied the HSP aspect deeply. The traits that resonated with me most deeply was the ability to read other people's emotions, the intent behind their words, and my reactions to music. I lose myself in music, it changes my emotions immediately, and I experience what is called "frisson" (waves of goosebumps, chills and sometimes tears) to certain musical sounds, like deep metal guitar riffs, deep bass or growling vocals, high soprano/operatic singing, and vocal harmonies. The struggle that I have is separating out who's emotions I am feeling (since I have absorbed theirs) when dealing with other people as the flood of what I am reading/sensing is often overwhelming, despite boundaries, so I have the need to retreat often when there is too much negativity.
I enjoy your videos and I am most ...if not all that you described as a super highly sensitive person and you have encouraged me to continue trying to accept it all of how i am....i plan on listening to all you videos. I recently saw one and it helped but can remember....but i remember you being on point. I'm so excited i found you. Thank you Julia
I'm so excited you found me too! Great to connect with you Soraya.