Fr! I sometimes forget that I have never even had a full-on conversation with the girl I (used to) like and that I always thought of her, but I doubt she ever thinks of me. It's so hard to move on from that 'crush' of mine because I foolishly truly loved her with all of my heart even if I knew her heart belongs to another.. damn..
I worked with him for a short time and it was like we had almost everything in common. And there’s so much more to my story but it doesn’t matter because he’s married and has a family. I need to get over him and stop fantasizing about him and whatever “connection” I have to him because I can’t have him in the way I’d ever want as well as unhealthily fantasizing over him.
@@amruth2545 First thing I did was to learn how to love myself, and how I should accept that she just doesn't like me. No matter what I did. and that chasing and chasing over something so pointless isn't worth my golden precious time, which I'm wasting loving the wrong person. (Oh and I like someone new now lol maybe that's also the reason)
yeah... but if i can't tell myself to stop thinking about them, and if i don't stop thinking about them, i start to fantasize and i fall in love with THOSE fantasies, what do i do?
@@xXCallMeAriXx I also face same problem… it’s very confusing feeling ! We can divert our mind to some work(passion , ambition,creativity meditation etc) or if this is also not working then we can just go with the flow and accept the fact that we are falling for them!!
1. Knowing them in and out, so that the spark is gone 2. Why am I obsessed with that person? It's just because I wanted to live a life like them. So build myself, my appearance and my confidence
I know pretty much everything about Kristen Kathleen but I still am obsessed with her even though she isn’t the same person she was when I met her five years ago. She used to be into sex and drinking all the time and now she’s into God but all that did was make me turn to God to impress her. I do want to live a life like her because she’s single and I’m married and I want to be able to do whatever I want like her. But I don’t have the guts to get a divorce because my family would hate me and even if I do, Krissy already told me her feelings for me are long gone and she wouldn’t be with me cause I’m not her type. So what’s the point of moving on when my life is good other than the fact I’m in love with other women who doesn’t want me?
@@ramsfan9209to answer the question you have at the very end of your message: Now it's time to turn inwards, focus and give that love back to yourself and appreciate what you do have. Whenever you feel desired on this "other woman," keep the thought in mind that she is not reciprocating that desire of you. The more you remember this, it will get easier to say "hey! I'm not wasting any more of my precious time or thoughts on someone that doesn't cherish or value me the same way!" Eventually, you'll feel empowered and self loving to a point where you'll only want to focus on yourself, thoughts and time and who or where you're willing to put emphasis of any of those things on or towards. You can still love this person as a person in general from afar, however, whenever the thought of loving this person that isn't loving you back then way you desire, redirect the focus of placing that love back to loving yourself even more in your heart. Just a suggestion. I hope this helps!
@@ramsfan9209YOU NEED HELP MA'AM / SIR PKEASE GET THERAPY BECAUSE LIFE IS MORE ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF THEN OTHER'S I AM NOT TRYING TO HURT YOU IN ANY WAY
But how do you apply this when it’s more of a sexual obsession?Like when the person just matches your sexual and romantic ideals way beyond what anyone else has and no one else you meet comes close.. or to put it another way … if you have a very specific type that’s difficult to find so you can’t really just replace it. I feel like it’s easy to get over something if you can replace it but what are you suppose to do when you can’t replace it with anything?
@@adorastelly8938 Telling yourself yourself the person is irreplaceable is part of what feeds the obsession. No one, and I mean no one, except God, is irreplaceable. All other relationships, even with family members, are temporary. Anything in life that is temporary is NOT irreplaceable.
@@adorastelly8938 There is no magical solution despite what some people say on YT. I bet they sometimes cannot apply their wisdom and superior knowledge to regulate their feelings. The only solution is to let time heal and make you wiser so that you can avoid getting burnt as much as you did the first time you felt like that.
@@user-hf6cd7bc7t I never said they didn’t deal with one maybe you should read more carefully. I said the world is not full of narcissists and that’s true. Expressing narcissistic behaviour once in a while and being a narcissist is not the same thing dude. Narcissism is not just being selfish it’s an actual disorder, people call everyone a narcissist these days, yet they only make up a small percentage of the world.
Romanticising someone and leads to obsession is creating your mind that you can have this person eventhough you know for some reason, It will not be possible and since It will not be impossible, It will become more obsess to challenge yourself until you finally have this person.
I am prone to obsession so I needed this. That second point is especially interesting. Unless I'm (in love /obsessed) with a woman, I am not particularly self-motivated so that's why I'm attracted to women with a lot of drive and an adventurous, independent nature.
I think I have the same problem..I am not self motivated! The guy I was obsessed with once told me "not everyone can motivate themselves, some of us need a motivating person in our lives." And his gf was the same exact way and he married her. I can see her becoming a much better person because of him but I cannot find that for myself. I often just feel lost and depressed. What do you do in these situations? Is that just something we have to live with for our lives? How do we find our own motivation?! I hope someone will come up with a solution.
@@sophiaedwards3956 I know exactly where you’re coming from! A lot of people would understand their behaviours better if they considered natal chart placements. In the same way, if they know the sun sign or major placements of the person they’re obsessing over, that can show patterns too. I, for one, am intensely attracted to Aries and Scorpio people (sun, moon or rising).. I found the pattern a while ago and can now take a step back when I first spot signs of a larger than average interest on my part forming. (I’m Cancer sun, Sagittarius moon and rising, with a nice little obsessive Virgo Venus 😄🙏)
Thank you so much for these tips! I’ve been wondering for a few years how to for good stop obsessing over guys that are emotionally unavailable or out of reach even though they are not good for me and not meant to be in my life anymore or at all. The third tip I have is to stop letting your friends and family’s opinions confuse you and breed your obsessions with people. It’d be best to communicate with them that you are working towards getting over obsessions and if they don’t respect that boundary, you can distance yourself from these people. Get to know everyone equally instead of trying to foresee an idealized future with them. Taking people off the pedestal also protects you from entering narcissistic and abusive relationships.
This is such a perfect timing. I am obsessed with a guy in my office. But after getting to know him and talk to him, the "butterfly in your stomach" and obsession to think about him started to dissipate. It's such a weird feeling but it's comforting and unload my mind of off him. I have to make mental notes that whenever I overthink about him or someone I HAVE to talk to them, and that feeling would disappear.
This is why I always tell guys to remain mysterious and give as little as information about yourself as possible while getting out as much information as possible about the other person.
I talked to Kristen Kathleen in our office. And I left a few notes on her car and now she says I’m Joe from You. Not quite the impression I was trying to make toward the love of my life
same thing but even after knowing he is a shitty person but few dats later he stopped talking to me for no reason it made me even more obsessed with him him ignoring me like i m not even there is driving me crazy i can’t stop thinking about him i feel like im so fucked
Can't be so generalized. Obsession can also come from the fact that they gave you a vibe or treated you in a way that you have been craving for all your life... They made you reach a point of heightened satisfaction that you never consciously was aware of existed in you, but they brought about that desire in you and now they are gone... It can be intellectual, psychological, sexual or emotional or a combination of all the four etc.
I have this immense feeling towards a guy and IDK how to control and behave myself. I've read several articles but those didn't help. Watching your video really helps me to rationalize what I'm feeling for him. So, thank you sm THANK YOUUU
i think the best way to get over someone or your obsession is to go out and meet new people. talk to anyone. old ladies, people you are not attracted to, people you are attracted to. your garbage man -- the person who bags your groceries. ask them about their life and listen -- people who sit next to you on the subway. ask them how their day was.
I’m obsessed with my ex and I don’t want be anymore. I know she has flaws, I know she was abusive, but I was raised that if it’s love you look passed someone’s flaws because you love them. She moved on so dang quickly (within a month) and I haven’t yet and it’s been over a year😓
Was in a same position, I loved her a lot but I knew I had to let go. I was hurt for months ( Still can feel the scars a year later)Worked on myself and I attracted someone else. Be careful though because you will attract people who are after something else… Good luck bro!!
Its seems as women in modern times, we are becoming obssessed with men for the lives they get to lead, which seem free and unrestrictive, compared ours which have heavy responsibilities, esp if you have children.
Lol women barely have any responsibility compared to men. A man is responsible for so much more and will be punished more for not fulfilling their responsibilities.
I agree with this video. I used to get the hugest unwarranted crushes on military guys besides being pretty neutral and not specifically pro war. In fact, I did not really care about war at all. I think I wanted to be more disciplined and more brave, and to live a more adventurous life of signing up for more unknowns and taking more risks. I have been consciously trying to become that for about 5-6 years now and I no longer get huge unwarranted crushes on military dudes. I am slowly gaining and building the qualities I want to become.
The world is abundant with love, and we will not lack by releasing what is not ours. If it's ours it will come back, If it doesn't thanks for the lessons 🙏🏽
What if someone enters your life for a little time and then goes away too far to reach. And you can't do anything but obssess over them without knowing them. It's impossible to forget then.....
Well ..Time will fade those memories or the future or scenarios we imagined with them.. keeping oneself busy and meeting new ppl can also help..i guess😄
same.. got ghosted, and now all I can really do is wait and hope that she'll contact me again. it's been so long that it's probably not happening, yet I'm still unable to get her off my mind. maybe it does still help a little bit to remember that she's just a regular person like everybody else. and maybe her positive outlook on everything is that attractive quality that I could try and learn for myself. (+ her just being physically super attractive. I'm not quite sure how to spin that one 😅)
This is how manifestation work! I gave myself a new year resolutions to solve my issues and see i got your video!!! I really really thank you a lot for making this video ❤️.... Thank you for showing me the way correctly. I love you ❣️
the second point is completely me! the reason I keep thinking about him despite knowing him a bit too well and being disgusted by him, I still am thinking about him. I realised this way before that I indeed was jealous of him. more than the idea of being with someone like him, I wanted to be him. I have unconsciously said many times I wish I was him or I wish my life was like his I wish I looked like and had charm like him. he's outgoing, party person, charming, loud, carefree and goodlooking. meanwhile I'm awkward, anxious, quiet, never partied, always inside my home and have like 2 friends and not goodlooking either. it's a weird type of obsession. my thoughts of him seem to disappear when I have fun but again return back when I feel alone lonely sad and just boring.
Omg 💀💀 so now I know the reason for my obsession too... when he introduced me to his group of outgoing friends and I felt everything was possible I started to feel I need to stay in his life... because otherwise I was afraid to do anything without him
I can relate with u buddy. This shit is happening to me now, after I caught up with a friend recently. Hoping I'll come out of this obsession soon. 🫥 🫠
Okay, let me talk about my experience. So, I met this guy I was fascinated with him, I immediately put him on a pedestal but when I started to talk to him, I realized how average he was and I lost interest because he wasn't initiating anything. I cut ties with him and yet again for some unknown reason he comes back into my mind, over and over again and I stopped daydreaming or romanticizing and I don't see anything about him specifically that attracts me to him. What I'm getting at is that I've done everything you said and it didn't work, nor is this feeling logical AT ALL. And I really hate how we want to make everything logical or in a box, feelings are simply not logical and they never will be.
My reaction to the tips. Tip 1: I got to know them better and I like them even more now. Tip2: I haven’t been able to pinpoint one reason why I like to be with them. I just feel happy when I am with them. Don’t know why.
I know this is kinda off subject but I've noticed when I'm jealous of someone.... i really appreciate there point of view on life or that subject and would like to incorporate that into my own life or the way they handled a situation compared to the way I thought it should of been handled. Thank you for your videos just ran into them a couple of days ago. Thank you
Never was the topic explained so beautifully in so less words. 🙏🙏 The Breakthrough in all toxic and anxious attachments is the realisation of the fact that we don't want to "Be with the person" but we want to "Be the person" and in not having the desired qualities we ourselves in our own perception become the baggage because we need to quickly respond to the objectionable behaviour of the other not giving ourselves enough time to analyse, cultivate and incorporate their qualities in ourself, thus being in this relationship quickly spirals down to "Being poisoned with what was to be our soul's liberating elixir." We need to understand that relationship is external addition whereas self development is internal change, thus relationship can lead to self realisation or self detriment but never self development because more often than not the person we are falling for is our shadow , we need to observe and learn from them not marry them.
I agree, Fran. When we are in love, all of her "defects" come across as qualities. Once the love is gone, you can see how much of an arrogant insecure jerk she really was. If a "hot girl" is unpleasant to me, I always start looking for flaws, such as gigantic feet or overly long toes, so that I can stop thinking of her a perfect. Once I've "deconstructed" her, I can treat her as my equal and not as if she was a "star" and myself a mere "fan"
I guess I needed to hear that. I just couldn’t figure out of how to not get too attached and step back for a bit but thanks to all that she said… it’s a big thing I always wondered what is soo special or attractive about a person and suddenly I couldn’t be happy about myself and my own life anymore. It’s tough but we can do it
I'm obsessed with a girl right now cause she is legit the most beautiful girl I ever seen and she has the same taste as me in almost everything (which is a very specific taste). Can you really blame me when you find someone like that? Good thing we will go on a date soon though.
Update: Went on a date, my obsession with her showed by me trying way too hard to be liked which made her think I had low confidence and she doesn't want to go on another date. ''The only thing I don't like about you is your lack of confidence and I am also not very confident so this is not going to work''. I'm completely destroyed about this.
@@dotexe4981 wish i saw your post earlier, was gonna say if you know youre obsessing over someone then its already over. make them obsess over you instead.
I had a friend named Francesca when I was younger. I had to move away and never had the chance to say goodbye. She was from Italy and had an accent. You reminded me of her. You’re very well spoken.
Whenever I love a song, I keep listening to it over and over until I get bored of it 😅....I follow this same "obsession" technique to get over someone that I'm obsessed with 🤦
But what if you've had the relationship and after sexual intimacy the woman has raised oxytocin levels which are released after their interactions. They they break up The obsession then begins because of their attachment and oxytocin. They know the other person's flaws but they became obsessed with them because the other person rejected them. Women generally are not used to rejection as much as men. I think a different strategy would be needed. They already know the flaws of the other person.
This is just so true i was lately obsessed with a girl from my school and after watching this video i am slowly realizing that i was maybe not so into her but i wanted to be her, she had a cool haircut , cool glasses and she herself was so cool and now i will try to be cool like her and i hope this helps me get outta that obsession I'm having from a long time
The man I'm head over heels over is funny, calm, stoic, sexy, vulnerable, sweet, manly, kind, authentic, honest, serious and yet doesn't take himself too serious, loyal, family oriented, protective of those he cares about, strong work ethic, good hearted...I see his flaws which make him only human, too, and I love him for them, too. I'm secretly in love with him. Obsession? I'm pretty sure it's love.
i got to know him soooo much better after falling but that made my love only get so much stronger. and than with that love, i started to become a better person, i fixed the things i didn't like about me and actually developed some of the qualities that i liked about him myself. but once again, eveything changed but my deepest love for him never vanished. i know his flaws, i know he makes mistakes and i know he can hurt me at times but he knows hot to make meel feel good. i love him with eveything that he is, with his stupid mistakes and frustrated moments. we are close friends now, after spending nearly every single day together for more than a year. and i still cannot help myself with being utterly in love with him.
The more I get to know this woman the deeper my obsession becomes. Sweet, compassionat, helpful, funny, beautiful and generous. But she is my coworker so I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
basically he's the only friend i stay a lot with in my class and he's really hot and stuff and he's nice and cool but he's not my type of guy AT ALL and even tho he was i cant be with him and i dont want to be with him (he's not even into me) we know each other for like 6 months now BUT IDK WHY I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM ( this obsession started for like a week or less) we havent seen each other for like 3 days now and tomorrow i'll go to school and i just keep thinking about the fact that we will see each other I JUST WANNA GET OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭
This is bang on.when I was not happy with my life my brain would release dopamine and I would become infatuated with some woman.but after it happened twice I know what it means but it is a very powerful drug to be infatuated.
I analysed but I found that I am obsessed because I find a suitable partner in him.. he have all these good qualities that i would like to have in my partner.. i don't want to be him.. i like being on my own.. i also noticed his bad qualities.. but I still can't get over him.. maybe i think that these kind of persons are rare.. need to get to know about more people..
Thank you so much I got rid of my obsession thanks to this. I was always neglecting the issue I was obsessed with them, but once I wrote down that I was obsessed with them, a lot of obsession went away.
My obsession with my crush is so deep that I can't let go of it even if I know it's a fantasy that has nothing to do with the real person it's based on.
What if getting to know her leads to being attracted even more, as a real person with flaws and failures is so... amazingly human. And I'm not talking about protection instinct. She is badass, grown up and kind. The more I learn, the more I want to be with her.
I have been obsessed with this person for seven years. He has many friends, is cheerful and kind, and always wears a smile. He has a warm and lovely family. He lives without worries or fear. I sometimes wonder if my subconscious desires a similar youthful life, attracted to happiness. As a loner who has lived her entire life with anxiety and dissociation, I've always felt like an old lady in her last days. I just wanted a life that resembled his. I just wanted to smile more and to be loved, I think.
She was outspoken and confident and went after the things she wanted and did not wonder if it was foolish or worth it or if her plans sounded dumb to other people. She was always going somewhere, making things happen, or talking about what she wanted to do next. It felt intoxicating to be in her orbit, to feel like I too was going to places and living my life that way. But I wasn't. I was withdrawn, depressed, pessimistic, always waiting for something to happen, for her to make her move. And she got bored of being my friend, moved on to the next thing.
What if I'm in love with how caring he is and how deeply he can love? How do I give myself that without getting into another relationship as a rebound?? We're still good friends but we will never be anything more than 'best friends' and it's so hard for me to move on since it's been a year already
my men you should only be obsessed with your own life and improvement. Never sattle and be good with what you have. Your health and body can always be better. You can always have better car, house or apartment and so on.
Yeah, that second technique makes a lot of sense to me, even though I am 100% sure that your two techniques together will only cover some of the existing obsession cases. It is a good start to see what qualities you like in that person and if you can acquire them.
same, i fall in love to easy. i obsess over successful people. i speak to a thai massage owner and she showed me photos of her massive house in thailand and she showed me the time table all fully booked meaning her business is booming. and seeing that made me want her more like wow i want to enjoy paradise like she has but nah she has a man so impossible it was hard to accept so i had to just stop going there to forget about it.
Is it like when someone is obsessed with wanting people to like them and they do self-seeking things on tv or in person and pretend that they are doing something else but their motives are all wrong? Very powerful the way people want to be liked the things that they will do is amazing!
My obsession is a celebrity. I don’t think i could get to know her, but i could stop romanticizing her image and its true, the more things you do in your own life, you have less time to obsess over someone else.
I'm obsessed with him because he has this aura about him, strong, driven, mysterious, hard headed, very rational, emotionally unavailable and even cold sometimes that gives off this immense sexual energy that I can't seem to shake off 😭 I've known him for almost a decade and like I want to know the deepest parts of him, make him fall in love with me and I wanna be the only one to see that sweet side of him and be the one he opens up to. He's also conventionally good looking, in fact, he's VERY handsome to me. OMG help me 😭
Lol i can see why someone would be obsessed thats like a full on wattpad package- but you! Need to find something else to focus on, which that thing is you! Become the person of your own dreams, focus on yourself, and add things into ypur life that bring value, remove the things that don't, FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE. Also make more friends, take on hobbies, etc. Basically im saying in the nicest way possible. "get a life" from what im seeing you are essentially making him your life. You have to become the main charachter and fall inlove with yourself. Dont you wanna know the deepest parts of you, be the one that you can feel safe and protected around etc. You have to be content with yourself, and your own life. And slowly that guy will fad into the backgrounds. Now if you dont want to do that, or if you already have. Then just talk to him if you havent already. Like get him. You can do it
@@itsAngazelle Thanks for your detailed advice, I appreciate it but I really do have a full blown life and a job but he's an obsession I can't get rid of 😭 I also can't say anything to him because he's straight and I'm Gay AF 😵💫
Thank you 😭 he’s left the school and I’ve actually stopped eating that im so upset. I would check his location often and stalk him at school😅 I’ve saved and took screenshots of all his TikToks. It’s been distracting me from school too much so maybe it’s a blessing that he’s gone. I’ve never even formed a full conversation with him, so I don’t know why I’m so devastated.
Hiiiii,I’ve actually known you for a while now,I actually feel completed thanks to him,and when I was around 11 years old,I always feel like there’s a part of me that actually feels incomplete,and he filled that in,and now I think I’m crying over him since I’m so scraed of falling in love,like this is the first time that I actually am almost falling in love with someone,I onced asked him if he actually find me attractive and he actually said that I was attractive,he also have a dark sense of humor just like me,and he would always say that I’m cute,he was also really good looking,he even sang a serenade just for me,and wheneverhe’s actually speaking he has a deeper or a husky type of voice,and his voice could actually hit high notes if he just wanted to,do you have any other tips on how not to actually fall in love with someone?,thank you!.
That's exactly what going on with me. The first one to know them better can be done but the second one 😢. I don't think I can have a life as that person is living.
never say never. use this obsession to be a better version of yourself. a good life doesnt mean a life thats exactly the same as theirs. you can have a life thats as wonderful as their life, in your own way. dont copy everything in their life, try to adapt the values and adjust them to fit your lifestyle. i hope you for the best ❤
I was a really weird guy when i was in grade school (which took time to love & accept myself) and one day a neighbor invited me to walk with her, i started to develop feelings which develop into obsession. Didn't know what to do and i was REALLY afraid to be a creep/stalker. Though It took deleting all my social media and time to move on.
I have accepted that I am obsessed with someone. As hard as it is gonna be, I will stay clear of this person because they are my boss and they are married. Thanks for your help.
After watching ur video I realised I was only obsessed bcos of his status and nothing else. Few minutes later I realised there is nothing fancy about him and I can actually get myself one with no toxic traits ... Thanks for the video ❤much love
we sometimes romanticise someone so much that we forget we dont know anything about them
(Edit:woah these are so many likes😭❤️)
Btw, have you guys heard of the #SaveSoil #ConsciousPlanet movement before? Also #Innerengineering 🦋
Fr! I sometimes forget that I have never even had a full-on conversation with the girl I (used to) like and that I always thought of her, but I doubt she ever thinks of me. It's so hard to move on from that 'crush' of mine because I foolishly truly loved her with all of my heart even if I knew her heart belongs to another.. damn..
I worked with him for a short time and it was like we had almost everything in common. And there’s so much more to my story but it doesn’t matter because he’s married and has a family. I need to get over him and stop fantasizing about him and whatever “connection” I have to him because I can’t have him in the way I’d ever want as well as unhealthily fantasizing over him.
@@internetstrangerdanger3790 how did u get over
@@amruth2545 First thing I did was to learn how to love myself, and how I should accept that she just doesn't like me. No matter what I did. and that chasing and chasing over something so pointless isn't worth my golden precious time, which I'm wasting loving the wrong person. (Oh and I like someone new now lol maybe that's also the reason)
The line you told :
“You actually grow your obsession by trying not to be obsessed “ is damn true …
It's like trying to avoid an intrusive thought. The more you avoid it, the stronger it becomes.
yeah... but if i can't tell myself to stop thinking about them, and if i don't stop thinking about them, i start to fantasize and i fall in love with THOSE fantasies, what do i do?
@@xXCallMeAriXx I also face same problem… it’s very confusing feeling ! We can divert our mind to some work(passion , ambition,creativity meditation etc) or if this is also not working then we can just go with the flow and accept the fact that we are falling for them!!
@@Divinly-681 alr thanks sm!!!
Agree
1. Knowing them in and out, so that the spark is gone
2. Why am I obsessed with that person?
It's just because I wanted to live a life like them. So build myself, my appearance and my confidence
I know pretty much everything about Kristen Kathleen but I still am obsessed with her even though she isn’t the same person she was when I met her five years ago. She used to be into sex and drinking all the time and now she’s into God but all that did was make me turn to God to impress her.
I do want to live a life like her because she’s single and I’m married and I want to be able to do whatever I want like her. But I don’t have the guts to get a divorce because my family would hate me and even if I do, Krissy already told me her feelings for me are long gone and she wouldn’t be with me cause I’m not her type. So what’s the point of moving on when my life is good other than the fact I’m in love with other women who doesn’t want me?
@@ramsfan9209to answer the question you have at the very end of your message: Now it's time to turn inwards, focus and give that love back to yourself and appreciate what you do have. Whenever you feel desired on this "other woman," keep the thought in mind that she is not reciprocating that desire of you. The more you remember this, it will get easier to say "hey! I'm not wasting any more of my precious time or thoughts on someone that doesn't cherish or value me the same way!" Eventually, you'll feel empowered and self loving to a point where you'll only want to focus on yourself, thoughts and time and who or where you're willing to put emphasis of any of those things on or towards. You can still love this person as a person in general from afar, however, whenever the thought of loving this person that isn't loving you back then way you desire, redirect the focus of placing that love back to loving yourself even more in your heart. Just a suggestion. I hope this helps!
@@ramsfan9209YOU NEED HELP MA'AM / SIR PKEASE GET THERAPY BECAUSE LIFE IS MORE ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF THEN OTHER'S I AM NOT TRYING TO HURT YOU IN ANY WAY
I am a clinical outpatient therapist and I’m happy to say you are spot on about obsession. Absolutely excellent!!
But how do you apply this when it’s more of a sexual obsession?Like when the person just matches your sexual and romantic ideals way beyond what anyone else has and no one else you meet comes close.. or to put it another way … if you have a very specific type that’s difficult to find so you can’t really just replace it. I feel like it’s easy to get over something if you can replace it but what are you suppose to do when you can’t replace it with anything?
@@adorastelly8938 Telling yourself yourself the person is irreplaceable is part of what feeds the obsession. No one, and I mean no one, except God, is irreplaceable. All other relationships, even with family members, are temporary. Anything in life that is temporary is NOT irreplaceable.
@whatsapphim9930 🤣
@@adorastelly8938 There is no magical solution despite what some people say on YT. I bet they sometimes cannot apply their wisdom and superior knowledge to regulate their feelings. The only solution is to let time heal and make you wiser so that you can avoid getting burnt as much as you did the first time you felt like that.
@@dwcushman1 Amen 🙏!!
I'm obsessed with this person because they give me attention
Did you find any solution to it?
Im obsessed coz they don't💀
give yourself the attention yo get from him
I'm obsessed with a girl that hates seeing me everyday.
Sometimes everything is nothing
Sometimes nothing is everything
Thanks Sis! In a world full of narcissists...this knowledge is golden
The world is not full of narcissists, the term is being very overused nowadays to describe anyone just like toxic
@@dimv2140 yea
@@dimv2140the word is full of alot of narcissism they just undiagnosed since they think they never wrong
@@dimv2140how you know they didn’t deal with one lmfaoo
@@user-hf6cd7bc7t I never said they didn’t deal with one maybe you should read more carefully. I said the world is not full of narcissists and that’s true. Expressing narcissistic behaviour once in a while and being a narcissist is not the same thing dude. Narcissism is not just being selfish it’s an actual disorder, people call everyone a narcissist these days, yet they only make up a small percentage of the world.
".... I wanted to be him" this is the most relatable thing on the internet
Why would you love someone because he lives the life you want, thats weird. I love people because they are nice and kind
Romanticising someone and leads to obsession is creating your mind that you can have this person eventhough you know for some reason, It will not be possible and since It will not be impossible, It will become more obsess to challenge yourself until you finally have this person.
I am prone to obsession so I needed this. That second point is especially interesting. Unless I'm (in love /obsessed) with a woman, I am not particularly self-motivated so that's why I'm attracted to women with a lot of drive and an adventurous, independent nature.
I think I have the same problem..I am not self motivated! The guy I was obsessed with once told me "not everyone can motivate themselves, some of us need a motivating person in our lives." And his gf was the same exact way and he married her. I can see her becoming a much better person because of him but I cannot find that for myself. I often just feel lost and depressed. What do you do in these situations? Is that just something we have to live with for our lives? How do we find our own motivation?! I hope someone will come up with a solution.
@@MissLida what is ur sun moon and rising sign first up?
@@sophiaedwards3956 what pill did you have?!
@@sophiaedwards3956 lmao what are you on sis
@@sophiaedwards3956 I know exactly where you’re coming from! A lot of people would understand their behaviours better if they considered natal chart placements. In the same way, if they know the sun sign or major placements of the person they’re obsessing over, that can show patterns too. I, for one, am intensely attracted to Aries and Scorpio people (sun, moon or rising).. I found the pattern a while ago and can now take a step back when I first spot signs of a larger than average interest on my part forming. (I’m Cancer sun, Sagittarius moon and rising, with a nice little obsessive Virgo Venus 😄🙏)
Thank you so much for these tips! I’ve been wondering for a few years how to for good stop obsessing over guys that are emotionally unavailable or out of reach even though they are not good for me and not meant to be in my life anymore or at all. The third tip I have is to stop letting your friends and family’s opinions confuse you and breed your obsessions with people. It’d be best to communicate with them that you are working towards getting over obsessions and if they don’t respect that boundary, you can distance yourself from these people. Get to know everyone equally instead of trying to foresee an idealized future with them. Taking people off the pedestal also protects you from entering narcissistic and abusive relationships.
Well said
Her channel is growing faster than my mental health
This is such a perfect timing. I am obsessed with a guy in my office. But after getting to know him and talk to him, the "butterfly in your stomach" and obsession to think about him started to dissipate. It's such a weird feeling but it's comforting and unload my mind of off him. I have to make mental notes that whenever I overthink about him or someone I HAVE to talk to them, and that feeling would disappear.
Yes same
This is why I always tell guys to remain mysterious and give as little as information about yourself as possible while getting out as much information as possible about the other person.
I talked to Kristen Kathleen in our office. And I left a few notes on her car and now she says I’m Joe from You. Not quite the impression I was trying to make toward the love of my life
same thing but even after knowing he is a shitty person but few dats later he stopped talking to me for no reason it made me even more obsessed with him him ignoring me like i m not even there is driving me crazy i can’t stop thinking about him i feel like im so fucked
@@kulsoom3366 That's why narcissists ghost (not allow communication/talk). To make them more desirable.
The second advice is an absolutely game changer. Thank you young lady!
Can't be so generalized. Obsession can also come from the fact that they gave you a vibe or treated you in a way that you have been craving for all your life... They made you reach a point of heightened satisfaction that you never consciously was aware of existed in you, but they brought about that desire in you and now they are gone... It can be intellectual, psychological, sexual or emotional or a combination of all the four etc.
Exactly 👋🏻👋🏻
Same
THIS, or gave you a glimpse / expectation of heightened satisfaction and then breaking it off abruptly unexpectedly
I hate people.
Borderline unstable @@LB-ub7uc
I have this immense feeling towards a guy and IDK how to control and behave myself. I've read several articles but those didn't help. Watching your video really helps me to rationalize what I'm feeling for him. So, thank you sm THANK YOUUU
i think the best way to get over someone or your obsession is to go out and meet new people. talk to anyone. old ladies, people you are not attracted to, people you are attracted to. your garbage man -- the person who bags your groceries. ask them about their life and listen -- people who sit next to you on the subway. ask them how their day was.
I would if they just put their phone down
@@mumtazansari9275 have you tried saying, "excuse me my name is... [insert some charming shit here]"?
@@Fernandez218 well excuse me my name is aurora **insert rizz shit here**
@@vviqxing I tried it. now I'm married!
Great idea!
I’m obsessed with my ex and I don’t want be anymore. I know she has flaws, I know she was abusive, but I was raised that if it’s love you look passed someone’s flaws because you love them. She moved on so dang quickly (within a month) and I haven’t yet and it’s been over a year😓
I wish you strength! 🤗
@@carinaschmitt1 thank you❤️🙏
I feel you man...just accept it n find another girl...u will be fine
*you look past
Was in a same position, I loved her a lot but I knew I had to let go. I was hurt for months ( Still can feel the scars a year later)Worked on myself and I attracted someone else. Be careful though because you will attract people who are after something else… Good luck bro!!
Its seems as women in modern times, we are becoming obssessed with men for the lives they get to lead, which seem free and unrestrictive, compared ours which have heavy responsibilities, esp if you have children.
Yup exactly
🤨
😑 would u obsess over some other guy inspite of having children and husband??
Lol women barely have any responsibility compared to men. A man is responsible for so much more and will be punished more for not fulfilling their responsibilities.
I had too much to say but then i read your name.
I agree with this video. I used to get the hugest unwarranted crushes on military guys besides being pretty neutral and not specifically pro war. In fact, I did not really care about war at all. I think I wanted to be more disciplined and more brave, and to live a more adventurous life of signing up for more unknowns and taking more risks. I have been consciously trying to become that for about 5-6 years now and I no longer get huge unwarranted crushes on military dudes. I am slowly gaining and building the qualities I want to become.
The world is abundant with love, and we will not lack by releasing what is not ours.
If it's ours it will come back,
If it doesn't thanks for the lessons 🙏🏽
What if someone enters your life for a little time and then goes away too far to reach. And you can't do anything but obssess over them without knowing them. It's impossible to forget then.....
Well ..Time will fade those memories or the future or scenarios we imagined with them.. keeping oneself busy and meeting new ppl can also help..i guess😄
same.. got ghosted, and now all I can really do is wait and hope that she'll contact me again. it's been so long that it's probably not happening, yet I'm still unable to get her off my mind.
maybe it does still help a little bit to remember that she's just a regular person like everybody else. and maybe her positive outlook on everything is that attractive quality that I could try and learn for myself. (+ her just being physically super attractive. I'm not quite sure how to spin that one 😅)
This is so helpful! Feels like cognitive behaviour therapy. Thank you so much!
This is how manifestation work! I gave myself a new year resolutions to solve my issues and see i got your video!!! I really really thank you a lot for making this video ❤️.... Thank you for showing me the way correctly. I love you ❣️
what do you mean with manifestation?
@@bleachedgiraffe9457 read Neville Goddard. If we tell u something about it u would think of it as some sort of fancy thing.
the second point is completely me! the reason I keep thinking about him despite knowing him a bit too well and being disgusted by him, I still am thinking about him.
I realised this way before that I indeed was jealous of him. more than the idea of being with someone like him, I wanted to be him. I have unconsciously said many times I wish I was him or I wish my life was like his I wish I looked like and had charm like him. he's outgoing, party person, charming, loud, carefree and goodlooking. meanwhile I'm awkward, anxious, quiet, never partied, always inside my home and have like 2 friends and not goodlooking either. it's a weird type of obsession. my thoughts of him seem to disappear when I have fun but again return back when I feel alone lonely sad and just boring.
Omg 💀💀 so now I know the reason for my obsession too... when he introduced me to his group of outgoing friends and I felt everything was possible I started to feel I need to stay in his life... because otherwise I was afraid to do anything without him
I can relate with u buddy. This shit is happening to me now, after I caught up with a friend recently. Hoping I'll come out of this obsession soon. 🫥 🫠
Okay, let me talk about my experience.
So, I met this guy I was fascinated with him, I immediately put him on a pedestal but when I started to talk to him, I realized how average he was and I lost interest because he wasn't initiating anything. I cut ties with him and yet again for some unknown reason he comes back into my mind, over and over again and I stopped daydreaming or romanticizing and I don't see anything about him specifically that attracts me to him. What I'm getting at is that I've done everything you said and it didn't work, nor is this feeling logical AT ALL. And I really hate how we want to make everything logical or in a box, feelings are simply not logical and they never will be.
Hey! Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve been going through something very similar and this feeling sucks lol
@@jai9952same here 😔
I'm a dude and I agree
Straight up facts
My reaction to the tips.
Tip 1: I got to know them better and I like them even more now.
Tip2: I haven’t been able to pinpoint one reason why I like to be with them. I just feel happy when I am with them. Don’t know why.
Thanks a lot! I couldnt've stopped thinking about a person for 4 months unless I admitted I'm obsessed
She just breaks it into such simple thingsss....and so perfectly put
I know this is kinda off subject but I've noticed when I'm jealous of someone.... i really appreciate there point of view on life or that subject and would like to incorporate that into my own life or the way they handled a situation compared to the way I thought it should of been handled. Thank you for your videos just ran into them a couple of days ago. Thank you
Never was the topic explained so beautifully in so less words. 🙏🙏
The Breakthrough in all toxic and anxious attachments is the realisation of the fact that we don't want to "Be with the person" but we want to "Be the person" and in not having the desired qualities we ourselves in our own perception become the baggage because we need to quickly respond to the objectionable behaviour of the other not giving ourselves enough time to analyse, cultivate and incorporate their qualities in ourself, thus being in this relationship quickly spirals down to "Being poisoned with what was to be our soul's liberating elixir."
We need to understand that relationship is external addition whereas self development is internal change, thus relationship can lead to self realisation or self detriment but never self development because more often than not the person we are falling for is our shadow , we need to observe and learn from them not marry them.
Clear, straightforward, excellent advice.
I see the flaws in them and still can’t get over my obsession. I’m going to try this technique.
How was it :) did you manage to normalize this person
i have a dependent personality disorder and tend to obsess a lot on a person that i currently like so this video means a lot to me ❤️ thanks
Same here🫤
Same here. The video helped though
2 minutes and so straight to the point you made it feel easy to do 😂. I'll keep this video on my favs, thanks a lot ❤
I agree, Fran. When we are in love, all of her "defects" come across as qualities. Once the love is gone, you can see how much of an arrogant insecure jerk she really was. If a "hot girl" is unpleasant to me, I always start looking for flaws, such as gigantic feet or overly long toes, so that I can stop thinking of her a perfect. Once I've "deconstructed" her, I can treat her as my equal and not as if she was a "star" and myself a mere "fan"
Wow you just hit me with a brick: I do not want to be with him, I want to be like him! That is really so true for my situation! Thank you!!!
1 min ! Maximum clarity ! Thank you !
I guess I needed to hear that. I just couldn’t figure out of how to not get too attached and step back for a bit but thanks to all that she said… it’s a big thing I always wondered what is soo special or attractive about a person and suddenly I couldn’t be happy about myself and my own life anymore. It’s tough but we can do it
Such originality! Awesome! And very useful information as well. You're amazing.
I'm obsessed with a girl right now cause she is legit the most beautiful girl I ever seen and she has the same taste as me in almost everything (which is a very specific taste). Can you really blame me when you find someone like that? Good thing we will go on a date soon though.
Update: Went on a date, my obsession with her showed by me trying way too hard to be liked which made her think I had low confidence and she doesn't want to go on another date. ''The only thing I don't like about you is your lack of confidence and I am also not very confident so this is not going to work''. I'm completely destroyed about this.
@@dotexe4981 wish i saw your post earlier, was gonna say if you know youre obsessing over someone then its already over. make them obsess over you instead.
Perfect✨ These were the best 3 minutes ever. Thankyou!
I had a friend named Francesca when I was younger. I had to move away and never had the chance to say goodbye. She was from Italy and had an accent. You reminded me of her. You’re very well spoken.
Whenever I love a song, I keep listening to it over and over until I get bored of it 😅....I follow this same "obsession" technique to get over someone that I'm obsessed with 🤦
So what did u do to your obssesive person
She is the best psychological influencer
But what if you've had the relationship and after sexual intimacy the woman has raised oxytocin levels which are released after their interactions. They they break up
The obsession then begins because of their attachment and oxytocin. They know the other person's flaws but they became obsessed with them because the other person rejected them. Women generally are not used to rejection as much as men. I think a different strategy would be needed. They already know the flaws of the other person.
This is just so true i was lately obsessed with a girl from my school and after watching this video i am slowly realizing that i was maybe not so into her but i wanted to be her, she had a cool haircut , cool glasses and she herself was so cool and now i will try to be cool like her and i hope this helps me get outta that obsession I'm having from a long time
2nd advice is spot on.
OMG why the video is so spot on! Really hits hard. Felt I got cured from this therapeutic advices 😅😅👍🏻
Taking them off the damn pedestal!!!
They aren’t a unicorn
Great overview!!!
Between your face and you’re information, I’m in heaven
The man I'm head over heels over is funny, calm, stoic, sexy, vulnerable, sweet, manly, kind, authentic, honest, serious and yet doesn't take himself too serious, loyal, family oriented, protective of those he cares about, strong work ethic, good hearted...I see his flaws which make him only human, too, and I love him for them, too. I'm secretly in love with him. Obsession? I'm pretty sure it's love.
Words of wisdom!
i got to know him soooo much better after falling but that made my love only get so much stronger. and than with that love, i started to become a better person, i fixed the things i didn't like about me and actually developed some of the qualities that i liked about him myself. but once again, eveything changed but my deepest love for him never vanished. i know his flaws, i know he makes mistakes and i know he can hurt me at times but he knows hot to make meel feel good. i love him with eveything that he is, with his stupid mistakes and frustrated moments. we are close friends now, after spending nearly every single day together for more than a year. and i still cannot help myself with being utterly in love with him.
The more I get to know this woman the deeper my obsession becomes. Sweet, compassionat, helpful, funny, beautiful and generous. But she is my coworker so I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
What's so bad about falling for a coworker?
godddd i needed to hear this !! THANK YOU
I've got to say... I'm so happy I came across this video! Thank you so much! Very well put and insightful! Happy New Year!!
basically he's the only friend i stay a lot with in my class and he's really hot and stuff and he's nice and cool but he's not my type of guy AT ALL and even tho he was i cant be with him and i dont want to be with him (he's not even into me) we know each other for like 6 months now BUT IDK WHY I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM ( this obsession started for like a week or less) we havent seen each other for like 3 days now and tomorrow i'll go to school and i just keep thinking about the fact that we will see each other I JUST WANNA GET OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭
I am obsessed with you and your voice and your tricks 🥹
This is bang on.when I was not happy with my life my brain would release dopamine and I would become infatuated with some woman.but after it happened twice I know what it means but it is a very powerful drug to be infatuated.
I analysed but I found that I am obsessed because I find a suitable partner in him.. he have all these good qualities that i would like to have in my partner.. i don't want to be him.. i like being on my own.. i also noticed his bad qualities.. but I still can't get over him.. maybe i think that these kind of persons are rare.. need to get to know about more people..
Thank you so much I got rid of my obsession thanks to this. I was always neglecting the issue I was obsessed with them, but once I wrote down that I was obsessed with them, a lot of obsession went away.
Can give us specific details?
My obsession with my crush is so deep that I can't let go of it even if I know it's a fantasy that has nothing to do with the real person it's based on.
What if getting to know her leads to being attracted even more, as a real person with flaws and failures is so... amazingly human. And I'm not talking about protection instinct. She is badass, grown up and kind. The more I learn, the more I want to be with her.
I have been obsessed with this person for seven years. He has many friends, is cheerful and kind, and always wears a smile. He has a warm and lovely family. He lives without worries or fear. I sometimes wonder if my subconscious desires a similar youthful life, attracted to happiness. As a loner who has lived her entire life with anxiety and dissociation, I've always felt like an old lady in her last days. I just wanted a life that resembled his. I just wanted to smile more and to be loved, I think.
You helped me get to the root of my envy problems in less than 3minutes. You're a star and Thank You So Very Much.... ❤❤❤
She was outspoken and confident and went after the things she wanted and did not wonder if it was foolish or worth it or if her plans sounded dumb to other people. She was always going somewhere, making things happen, or talking about what she wanted to do next. It felt intoxicating to be in her orbit, to feel like I too was going to places and living my life that way. But I wasn't. I was withdrawn, depressed, pessimistic, always waiting for something to happen, for her to make her move. And she got bored of being my friend, moved on to the next thing.
What if I'm in love with how caring he is and how deeply he can love? How do I give myself that without getting into another relationship as a rebound?? We're still good friends but we will never be anything more than 'best friends' and it's so hard for me to move on since it's been a year already
I needed this so much today. Thank you.
my men you should only be obsessed with your own life and improvement.
Never sattle and be good with what you have.
Your health and body can always be better. You can always have better car, house or apartment and so on.
Yeah, that second technique makes a lot of sense to me, even though I am 100% sure that your two techniques together will only cover some of the existing obsession cases. It is a good start to see what qualities you like in that person and if you can acquire them.
Thank you so much for this! Really helpful!
This is so helpful! I love your insights, very eye opening☺️
Exactly, I see in him qualities lacking in myself. I'm fascinated and we only went out once. Ty for this tip❣
Yes I am obsessed to BTS and i accepted it and now i really really want to overcome this toxic obsession...and currently I am working over it....
They are talented but people just overhyped them yes they are good
can't believe mee too but only on one of the them but too much obsession
Same here
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this!
I am obsessed with his confidence, likeability and intense good looks. I can try and work on my confidence as a start lol
same, i fall in love to easy. i obsess over successful people. i speak to a thai massage owner and she showed me photos of her massive house in thailand and she showed me the time table all fully booked meaning her business is booming. and seeing that made me want her more like wow i want to enjoy paradise like she has but nah she has a man so impossible it was hard to accept so i had to just stop going there to forget about it.
this is awesome information! THANK YOU!
Humanize them, office knowledge, kindness (T) n obligation!
Is it like when someone is obsessed with wanting people to like them and they do self-seeking things on tv or in person and pretend that they are doing something else but their motives are all wrong? Very powerful the way people want to be liked the things that they will do is amazing!
My obsession is a celebrity. I don’t think i could get to know her, but i could stop romanticizing her image and its true, the more things you do in your own life, you have less time to obsess over someone else.
I'm obsessed with him because he has this aura about him, strong, driven, mysterious, hard headed, very rational, emotionally unavailable and even cold sometimes that gives off this immense sexual energy that I can't seem to shake off 😭 I've known him for almost a decade and like I want to know the deepest parts of him, make him fall in love with me and I wanna be the only one to see that sweet side of him and be the one he opens up to. He's also conventionally good looking, in fact, he's VERY handsome to me. OMG help me 😭
Wow....
So what do you think should be solution of this 😖
@@iHatefakers2101 I wouldn't be here if I knew 😭
Lol i can see why someone would be obsessed thats like a full on wattpad package- but you! Need to find something else to focus on, which that thing is you! Become the person of your own dreams, focus on yourself, and add things into ypur life that bring value, remove the things that don't, FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE. Also make more friends, take on hobbies, etc. Basically im saying in the nicest way possible. "get a life" from what im seeing you are essentially making him your life. You have to become the main charachter and fall inlove with yourself. Dont you wanna know the deepest parts of you, be the one that you can feel safe and protected around etc. You have to be content with yourself, and your own life. And slowly that guy will fad into the backgrounds. Now if you dont want to do that, or if you already have. Then just talk to him if you havent already. Like get him. You can do it
@@itsAngazelle Thanks for your detailed advice, I appreciate it but I really do have a full blown life and a job but he's an obsession I can't get rid of 😭 I also can't say anything to him because he's straight and I'm Gay AF 😵💫
Thank you 😭 he’s left the school and I’ve actually stopped eating that im so upset. I would check his location often and stalk him at school😅 I’ve saved and took screenshots of all his TikToks. It’s been distracting me from school too much so maybe it’s a blessing that he’s gone. I’ve never even formed a full conversation with him, so I don’t know why I’m so devastated.
Yeah did all that you said & I'm still obsessed with Sabrina Carpenter 😅😂❤🎉
On my way of killing the same obsession . Half done .🙌
thank you so much for sharing this information! i really needed this!
1:37 that's awesome advice. Thanks
You have a gift for teaching, how simple and practical. I'm a big fan
Hiiiii,I’ve actually known you for a while now,I actually feel completed thanks to him,and when I was around 11 years old,I always feel like there’s a part of me that actually feels incomplete,and he filled that in,and now I think I’m crying over him since I’m so scraed of falling in love,like this is the first time that I actually am almost falling in love with someone,I onced asked him if he actually find me attractive and he actually said that I was attractive,he also have a dark sense of humor just like me,and he would always say that I’m cute,he was also really good looking,he even sang a serenade just for me,and wheneverhe’s actually speaking he has a deeper or a husky type of voice,and his voice could actually hit high notes if he just wanted to,do you have any other tips on how not to actually fall in love with someone?,thank you!.
Your videos are so awesome ☺️ they help me alot
Now that I am so obsessed with your worthy video., jokes apart, You doing great great job. More power and love to you
That's exactly what going on with me. The first one to know them better can be done but the second one 😢. I don't think I can have a life as that person is living.
never say never. use this obsession to be a better version of yourself. a good life doesnt mean a life thats exactly the same as theirs. you can have a life thats as wonderful as their life, in your own way. dont copy everything in their life, try to adapt the values and adjust them to fit your lifestyle. i hope you for the best ❤
Thank you. I needed this. ❤️
But what if I also saw the real her, but it actually make me like her more, her flaws, everything.
Thats human, thats good. Let yourself love. If its not reciprocated I'm sorry, if it is, pursue her.
Best advice I ever heard about this topic
I was a really weird guy when i was in grade school (which took time to love & accept myself) and one day a neighbor invited me to walk with her, i started to develop feelings which develop into obsession. Didn't know what to do and i was REALLY afraid to be a creep/stalker. Though It took deleting all my social media and time to move on.
I have accepted that I am obsessed with someone. As hard as it is gonna be, I will stay clear of this person because they are my boss and they are married. Thanks for your help.
Truth liberates mee… n thts it…Once u knw the totally & truth about person…its jst liberates!!!!
Amazing explanation! Thanks.❤
After watching ur video I realised I was only obsessed bcos of his status and nothing else.
Few minutes later I realised there is nothing fancy about him and I can actually get myself one with no toxic traits ...
Thanks for the video ❤much love