Life As A Man vs. Life As A Woman
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- Опубліковано 18 бер 2020
- Hi I’m Elle. I’m a 20 year old FtMtF detransitioner. In this video, I’m highlighting a view differences of the way I was treated as a man vs. as a woman. Also, dog montage.
Twitter: / ellepalmer1
Instagram: / ellepalmer1
follow my instagram if you'd like to keep up on stuff I'm doing... pretty interesting stuff. like skateboarding and watching movies. instagram.com/ellepalmer1
can u start a discord channel for your fans
I would love to hear more about male bonding and friendships with men from an outsider looking in, and integrating
Fallow me too
Just to address your being hit on part. Yeah. I can confirm. I think in about 20 years interacting with women. I have only been hit on twice in my life. If you are a man long enough you'll start to realize that you will always have to initiate and if you show any lack of confidence or low energy you will be socially marginalized. To the point that if you are down you will become completely isolated. No one likes you or values you unless you prove yourself as a dominant confident man. It sucks. There is little or no compassion. You fail. Everyone isolates you. You succeed you celebrate alone... Though maybe people will show you more love.
Lol. I thought that my dog was sneezing, it was your pup.. Thank you for sharing your story, you're a beautiful soul. Have a awesome day
A puppy dog makes everything Ok in this world.
YAAY for Critters
OMG, do you even know how adorable you are? I find myself smiling all through your videos. I appreciate and have great respect for your honesty. I love how you are able to reach deep inside to the core of your being then articulate what you see and feel to your viewers. You're smarter than any 20 year old I know. I love you for exactly who you are, and it thrills me to see you smile and looking happy. I'm glad you're a girl, a very cute girl. Please keep the videos coming! Love to see you grow!
Elle is adorable I find myself smiling to! ❤️❤️
I smile too. Shes wonderful.
She is so open and honest, which is so nice. You can tell she's such a kind person (no matter what gender) and has the cutest smile! Not being creepy, am WELL old enough to be her mother LOL.
Aural Beets Yeah, me too😐
@@meh_lady Yes, so am I, but I know and feel exactly what you mean! Thanks for the comment!
such kind words at the beginning. 🥺
it's so interesting how differently people treat you, & that you've had such a variety of social experiences as male & female that most people never will (not at all saying i wish for anyone to have to go through transitioning & detransitioning). thank you for sharing your story! ❤
Now if only a white woman could see what it's like as a black man or other way around
Thank you for uploading - I always love watching your videos. It's like having a conversation with a good friend. No fake shit or unnecessary lighting/editing. Just you talking real. You're very honest and open about subjects that I think most people are not open about. I appreciate it. I hope you continue to upload, no matter what the videos are about. ❤️ You are awesome.
Always eager to watch an upload of yours. Sincerely appreciate you sharing your thoughts and process of this journey :)
I hate getting hit on being female, a born female, I dont drive, so I walk everywhere, I constantly get honked at and men yell things at me. I even tried to be a man, with dressing and short hair, after all the horrible experiences I had, I did it to be safe, I can see that now. Thank you for your videos, youre great!
Don't worry..get older and nobody will be looking at you.
Wow. I mean I knew this was a reality, but I just assumed we grew out of it. I mean I was raised by my mom who maybe gave me a different perspective, and even if that wasn't the case, when I was younger I was too anxious to pull that crap. Though the generated aloofness somehow worked when it came to dating. I mean it's not like cat calling women ever makes them like you, quite the opposite of course. I guess I wonder why some guys do it.
@@nocturne000 unfortunately some men definitely don’t grow out of it haha. most of the time when I’ve been catcalled or honked at it was an adult man. probably aged 40-60 most often! In my opinion they do it a) because they can, and b) as a type of power trip, sort of an intimidation and objectification thing that makes them feel powerful over the other person. But that’s just how I see it.
@@pancakebfast2000 Good lord. I mean don't get me wrong, I knew it was happening. And fairly frequently at that just listening to my female friend's stories on the matter. But it's just so ridiculous, and really fucking rude. And that's to put it lightly. Like I'd say I'm fairly confident person, however I am pretty anxious around groups of people. It's not crippling or anything, it's just a weird baseless neurotic trait that kind of makes my skin crawl. I say this just to imagine what it would be like knowing people were paying attention to me, and making it known in the douchiest way possible. That alone would piss me off to no end. And obviously that's a very tame assessment that fails to mention all the other feelings that such an act would provoke in someone that would depend on countless factors of that woman's individual life experiences. I mean it's just a gross thing to do. I think you hit the nail head. It must be a ego thing. I would put money on the catalyst being insecurity. Does it happen when a dude is alone that often, or in your experience is it a guy around other guys. The latter seems like they're trying to gain something through their peers or whatever. But if they're just alone and doing it I'm sure it's compensation for something.
One thing I learned a long time ago when I worked at a Safeway deli is that people will take that opportunity to demonstrate their power over others where they can get it. I mean the assholes I had to deal with every day who would take advantage of the fact that I was serving them and treat me like I was less than human just became so normal I stopped caring, I mean unless it really crossed the line. I just can't imagine that type of behavior representing actual confidence in one's self. Though I'm sure there are outliers who really do think they're extra hot shit and do it because they can. Either way, fuck those pieces of shit. I suppose if there is a silver lining it's that cat calling is so pathetic and sad that the guys who do it probably have garbage lives. Anyway, god speed out their.
Get u a bike or just grow up lol
I am also documenting my transition!! You are such an inspiration to many!!
Bruh.
I actually really needed that into tonight. Seriously PTSD killing me lately.
I can truly truly truly recommend EMDR-therapy! It healed my c-ptsd ^^
Off topic but you look adorable in the thumbnail aww
You have such a refreshing, thoughtful perspective! thank you for sharing and stay well in this crazy time!
Thank you again for making these videos and for being so open. You actually seem happier than before:) Your opening and ending remarks hoping everyone is ok, are so sweet and kind. I hope you will be ok, too, in this “crazy” time. Be well!
I feel like you're sooo mature! I love the way you analize everything that happens to you, and also you're really empathetic and understanding of others perspective
Oh wow. You face looks different. Softer, more feminine.
I like how you know you were an attractive man. lol
Most guys think they are attractive, even the ugly ones LOL.
StefanieLouise not sure that is true.
@@JimmiAlli it's definitely true tho lol
@@123PhoebeC Think how important confidence is to you in a guy... most men know how they look, it's just without the air of confidence they'd get nowhere.
Your voice seems to have gotten lighter, for sure!
Sounds the same 2 months ago.
Davida Majako nah some slight changes I can hear.
@@davidamajako961 her voice is definitely lighter. Just compared the videos
It is lighter. Just compared this to one of the first videos
@@BluCharmander Sounds completely the same to me.
You have a remarkable gift of genuine expression. You said elsewhere that you had interest in journalism but decided not to pursue it.
I think you were absolutely on the right track, it just needs to be framed differently in your mind about what that would look like. Your capacity for clarity of thought and neutrality paired with intelligence lends well to the experience of listening to you.
Like a shadow you can't quite make out or a sound in the distance. One can't help but lean into the conversation even after it's ended.
This is quite a special gift especially in a world of flat screen experiences. Keep in touch with this. Listen to your heart and to those who see you in ways you cannot possibly imagine.
Capture it and you will find fulfillment in your ability to connect with people in very vulnerable and personal ways.
You are doing a good job sharing your experiences. .and glad you have found your way back to what is right for you. Wishing you much peace and happiness ahead as to who you are
When I was growing up my mom thought I was gay so she took me to porn movies and completely indoctrinated me into objectifying women and seeing women as sex objects so you can imagine living as a woman realizing how bad that was how much I didn't like being objectified but yet still not able to get rid of that initial thought. Also my experience with women is the exact opposite as a woman I have had nothing but negativity from women. Because I get along with men usually their woman thinks I'm after their man and are threatened to buy me and the irony is is that I was never interested in their man I just became friends with them easily and of course since they perceive me as a woman they didn't see any threat whereas when I was younger they thought I was a gay boy and therefore they didn't want to be friends. So it's interesting your experiences on both sides versus mine. I will tell you this I do know the difference between the male privilege I had and the lack of that privilege as a woman it has changed my whole career because of it moving up and getting jobs has been so much more difficult especially being in a very high tech industry very strongly male dominant industry. And being dismissed all the time oh my gosh I hate that
Dude we’re stuck in our house we living off take out and we are trying to protect my dad cuz he got a compromised immune system and my grandpa is almost 80 so but I pray we are okay and everyone else especially you I will pray for. I have Disney+, UA-cam and food so I am definitely okay 😂 not doing school work, having to shower as often and not wear pjs is nice I love being in sweats all day 😃
Elle your vids are so important. There will be MANY girls especially considering detransing - & as we know 'it's hard to be it unless you can see it'. You have your ups & downs but like you say, generally you are handling all really well & projecting a kind of real joy in exploring you femaleness & in analysing what you have learned in your experience. Good on ya.
I love your spirit and your journey Elle! ❤️
You are a wonderful person 💕 sending you love from northern Italy.
Thank you for allowing us to follow your journey Elle. XXX Katie
I love your voice so much and you are so pretty, and oooh my gosh your personality
I’m so glad to hear someone else listens to city and colour!!!
I find it fascinating that you've experienced both sides. Thank you for sharing!
Stay safe, Elle!
The +10 Smile of Healing, so immensely helpful in these trying times. Love your insightful thoughts although I am still saddened by what you had to go through to get there. Almost wanted to excuse myself for having to pause the video to take a phone call...
Every one that has any sense at all is very proud of you!💕💕💕
You too, my friend! I hope every one of us says a prayer. It won't hurt you!
Thank you very much for the kind words and hope that you will be ok too!
I need stories like yours, thanks!
The not getting hit on is something true, though I never realized that until you said it! The main thing I noticed was women stopped commenting on my appearance in a critical way-men never gave me shit for having short hair or whatever, but boy, did women have a problem with it!
Weirdly, though, I never felt much of a difference in how I got treated respect-wise. Most people just treat me as a person. It was easy to think I was always disrespected before just because I was a woman-but I learned there’s really not much of a difference.
I love your videos so much,ist shows how much sexism in everyday life actually exist,it's crazy tho...
Most of the sexism is towards men, except for the "being hit on" part....and I guarantee the majority of men dont hit on women they dont know. Women reward the worst men, like the bad boys. Women could turn this franchise around if they wanted to, but its too easy to just blame men for everything, so they are not held responsible for bad decisions.
@@tubester4567 i actually know a lot of men like this,but it depends more on the intelligent than gender i think 😅 it's the view of perspective,as a woman, i expierence that your look (and behavior) depends how someone(especially men) treat you,if your not feminine ,skinny,small and 'act like a girl',people don't pay much attention to you or even treat you like shit. (especially when i was younger and in puberty),both sides can be frustating.
@@tubester4567 were you trans? Because everything you say is right?
@@nombsnombschomps5990 Subscribe to Elle Palmer channel
I just want to say what a lovely young lady you are. Keep going and posting your insightful vids
I haven’t even watched the video yet, but thank you for giving us something REAL to connect with while the world is upside down. You are amazing!
Counselor Palmer is amazing, A great speaker, I believe she has a bright future speaking or counseling on not just trans issues butt all the other points young people struggle with,, And that SMILE so damn Cute
I've been socially and semi legally detransitioning and wanna thank you for sharing your voice with the world! 💜
You've inspired me to share my experience too in the near future.
I’m a post op 5 years on testosterone transman and have noticed no difference in how people treat me, besides telling me to “man up” when I show any emotion. Granted, people always thought I was a guy pre t. I started at 17.
This is why I am addicted to watching trans people on UA-cam. They are so validating to listen to about how gender affects interactions. I am a cis female, and I have no desire to be a man. I want to be treated fairly in the workplace and withmy domestic responsibilities. It's nice to hear from you because you have been both male and female.
Who else is enjoying animal crossing rn
panicstation7 me🥴
@@Megan98 hit me wit dat friend code
o/
hell yea
@@SerPouncealot hit me wit dat friend code
Best wishes Elle!!
Love your videos!
i am rewatching your videos again after 2 years, and i could listen to you for hours on end!
Ooo girl I can hear your voice getting higher!!
You are so gorgeous !!! Love your golden hair.
5:00 - To have to do that (Telling a person that is interested in you that you are a natural born female and not male)
This is VERY IMPORTANT. Being a normal born man/woman is the norm. Most people want to make kids. Heck, even men and women wanting to be a serious couple talk if they want kids or not and lying about the inability is not going to end up well.
Not just that, for many it is a deal breaker. For example, many people would not date another person of the opposite political spectrum. Silly but it is a deal breaker for them. No imagine if you are not the sex that you say you present yourself as.
Everything is always so pastel in her videos!
We just as well be happy and positive because the alternative is no fun at all : )
You're a sweetheart, thank you. I wish you and your loved ones well.
Thank you for your video. I am much older, however, new to dating as a trans woman. The social norms are actually quite different. I wish all men and woman could experience what we do. I find men to be so nice towards me, women also. Before people were so mean, I felt like I always had to fight to get anything,..convince them...as female, most people just help me out. Not always, but store employees carry stuff out to my car! The mental energy is huge when it comes to anxiety and blending in and keeping safe though and I am unlearning a lifetime of me and newly learning female norms. Being chased by guys is a new experience... Quite the range in characters. ...my dilemma is if, when how to diclose my trans gender because I just want to be treated as me. :-)
Females get more attention than guys do
In my experience they’re both very different. It was kinda surreal in a way. But I’ve noticed I seem more intimidating when I walk outside late in the evening and at night 🫠 I feel bad about it. My hoodie and quiet nature aren’t helping my case… I try to avoid people as is so I hope that helps me a little there. Plus I’m short
You're so cute I love you so much. Watching you sit and talk to the camera makes me feel like i have a friend... You're so sweet and genuine. I could listen to you talk forever ;-;
I am not interested in any of this but you have such a good personality I am subscribing.
you have a beautiful smile, Elle- your teeth! Perfect!
*t h e r e a r e s o m a n y d o g s*
Also I was social distancing before it was cool
ceo of reassuring
I wish you would be more specific about the surprises in perspective between men and women.
Hoping you're doing
OK with everything that's going on too. Stay safe and be well...😊.
It would be nice for you to make a video about male privilege against female privilege. You said that people that perceive you as female now treats you better.
I hope you doing well and being extra safe! Remember to wash 🧼 your hands 🖐🏻 frequently. Lots of love 💕
You look a lot happier , so keep doing whatever you’re doing :)
Your voice is changing.
Thank you for providing us with quarantine content LOL
♥ I'm curious as to your parents, where were they in the midst of this?
Same question Regarding the parents
Her parents wanted her to wait til she was 24 or something, but she persistently nagged them for a year and they eventually caved.
Same question, but about my parents.
Your dog 💜
I am very happy for your happiness!
Thank you for your caring message and the same to you.
About the other things you said, I think we somehow are misunderstand what objectifying the other really means because we live in a world where the main message coming from the culture is mainly about the material and not about the inner workings of who we are. As someone who comes from a 3rd world county raised in a broken home, the brokenness is what I believed in but the pop culture become what I wanted to become. At the end I can tell you that I found a better place where objectification is not in my worldview anymore but the fruitfulness of what I am being part of is more alive than I could have received and understand.
I'm a straight guy and if I didnt know I would think you were female you are very beautyfull
She is female though..
Hi Elle, has your sexuality changed as you transition and detransition?
I just followed you on Instagram! ❤️
I am not sure which of your videos I commented on before , but I found the name of that young lady I was talking about in case you wanted to check her out. It was Stef Sanjati. Have a lovely day!!!
Not trying to take away from the point of the video but every room you record a video in looks comfy as fuck, those blankets look like you could sink into them and fall asleep in 3 seconds.
Girls don’t hit on guys that much...
Hm,...it seems to me that members of those groups in society who are most often held to a higher standard, who regularly receive less compassion (with regular doses of disrespect and degradation), and who are not born with value but had to reach it with their discipline, perseverance and effort, have it a little harder in life than members of
groups who are convinced of their ‘perpetual victimhood’ through conditioning from early adolescence onwards
Elle I love your viedo's! I am doing okay trying to stay positive through this Corona Virus thing going on. Please stay heathy and safe! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈🌈🌈
Thank You Elle. Hoping You and your family are Ok as well. Stay Safe !
And please, Elle: we love you, you are awesome, we light up seeing your face.
🥰💞🤗 I wish I could tell you that men are really into who you are. #1 tip: (I'm 45) Only a man with NOTHING TO LOSE will persue you. Be wary of those. The more aggressive their pursuit, the worse they will turn out to be. A gentleman waits for the ladies to make their move. #2 tip: A man up to no good will test his victim for assertiveness-they will say or do something definitely NOT okay to see your reaction-do NOT shake it off or brush it aside-RUN.
ur my hero
You're a very valuable person and you have the right to be happy. As time passes and you age never ever allow guilt to creep in. Just keep in mind your decisions were made while you were a child. Kindness, love, empathy are qualities you seem to have. And though you choose to make these video's you honestly don't owe anyone an explanation. May joy always follow you.
So interesting! I’m demisexual, but I didn’t really understand that fully until I met my now current husband. I always figured I was asexual. But there were times I felt more masculine than others. I struggled dealing with it, but I never understood others telling me they didn’t want to date trans people. I understand maybe they want guys only or girls only. I get it. But in my mind, I am just like.. They are a person. I always looked at the person personally. Their personality. Love hearing your perspective from both!
Smile survey How many likes
♥️🙏
Hi Ellie,
I just wanted to ask you a question. I saw your video with blair white and I wanted to know you feeling on transexual women and men and if your experiences have made you in any way transphobic? serious question
As a pseudo-guy, from the perspective of a female. Because you'll never really know.
A lot of women in the workplace don't make eye contact or return greetings unless they know you....it's normal.
Do you think taking female hormones would change your voice again?
No, it doesn't go that way. Once your vocal chords lengthen and thicken, they don't go back. Her body makes female hormones now so it would be redundant to take more.
I think even the most attractive men will get hit on maybe 2-3 times in their life. And it will be by some woman with hella confidence (or a cheeky gay man)... probably a lot of aries energy.
Yeah, at most. I'm a cis man and it's never happened to me once.
Brave woman 👍
A sad reality I've always seen, is yes, women are objectified but they at least have innate value. If a man is deemed a failure, they are deemed worthless and are quietly brushed aside to be completely forgotten about and abandoned. Men must create value and even then, if that value is not enough it is still seen as worthless. I am also surprised by the thoughts lesbians are disliked more. From what has been seen and shown in studies across the world. Lesbians are generally accepted more in comparison to gay men. Numerous countries for example that have death penalties for gay men are completely lacking in the same regard for lesbian women. Media has also shown a proclivity for it as lesbian women arent really seen negatively for adopting kids or being portrayed much more in movies. It seems much more accepted in general in comparison to gay relationships. Its why i believe it is often used more frequently in media as it is viewed less negatively especially in areas that view homosexuality more and more negatively.
Lisa CARSON
Are you bisexual or did you change your sexual orientation while transitioning and retransitioning? I thought, that’s not possible
wait so you transformed ?????
Now you can experience female bonding with female co-workers. Was there any bonding with female co-workers as a man?
Looking prettier by the day huh
So. I'm nonbinary. I hate being hit on by straight men all the time when I don't even fully know who I am as a person. It sucks. So there's that perspective
Is it the act itself -of being hit on- or something else?
Nonbinary...... what a load of bollocks. You just want to be treated special so you create some stupid category to fit into. Stop being so precious, you twat.
hey please ignore the ignorance in the comments!! you're a beautiful human being and neither one of us are doing this for attention. i hope you're okay!
@@tarquinftangftangolebiscui8606 it's probably just a label created because of uncertainty and repulsion to the very concept of gender, for whatever reason, not really attention.
probs
I think you're right people treat you nicer as one passes as female but as a trans male person who started to transition quite late with 29 I can tell you I've always hated the "nice treatment" by men as I've always hated to be seen as a woman they can flirt with. Also I think woman smile less at men as they don't want them to see it as an invitation...
Hi Elle luv the dog, want a it's name. Your gender and sexual experiences are so similarly to my intersex early life experiences. When I met my husband Bruce my whole life changed and I didn't like males only females. I luv💕💕💋 him sooooo much. I am 23 I want to have a baby but no luck so far. Good luck you seem positive. Luv your videos🤗🤗.
Ashleigh 💖