Alexander, your decision to reframe your decision to transition in terms of acceptance of who & where you were THEN, is so meaningful. It’s allowing yourself to be kind to yourself. As a 72 year old woman, I can tell you that my experience in the shower is likewise not great. Everything I see tells me that my body isn’t repairing itself, and all the sun damage, all the old injuries, everything I did in my youth is manifesting on my body today. But I’m going to follow your example and accept my body as the vehicle that gets me where I need to go, that enables me to enjoy all the pleasures of this season of my life. I may not be happy with what it looks like or what it can’t do anymore, but I accept who & where I am now. Wishing you continued healing, in whatever form it takes.🌻
Thank you for sharing. My sister destransitioned. She went from ftm and has been dealing with the loss of her breasts, the side affects of HRT etc. This all happened to her under age when the family was told after one appointment that she would end her life if we didn’t support her. It’s been tough but am so thankful for people like you who share their story. Stay strong, I can’t imagine what your going through. Just know you are helping so many. Imo we need better safe guards in place for those who have gender dysphoria and those that don’t. We also need more help for those who have decided to detransition. I truly am thankful for you sharing. ❤
@@alexanderl9721 she is doing better thank you. We are trying to help her save for breast implants and hopefully that will help. For now she accepts what happened but honestly still will have times she cries herself to sleep. Once again thank you for your bravery with sharing your truth. I agree the doctors need to change. You are truly amazing. ❤️
Alexander, I appreciate you sharing your reflections on this painful anniversary with us. It's not easy to live with regret nor with constant physical pain/limitations - but you are pushing onwards and striving to make the best of it. I commend you for your positive attitude and for keeping it real, with us your audience and also, importantly, with yourself.
@@alexanderl9721 I hope you'll continue to share with us, as and when you can. I find your perspectives thoughtful, humble, considered. You've helped me to have compassion for those who are struggling or have struggled with issues of gender identity, body dysmorphia and/or poor mental health. Hearing your story reminds me not to be too quick to 'other' or judge - especially not on an individual/human level - much as I may dislike and be concerned about the trans "rights" movement.
I‘ve also had a disastrous accident at work which ruined my lif, but listening to you I‘ve realized that I never have thought of that day as an anniversary…. Thank you for showing me my own ‚positivity‘, I do struggle with it
I just want to say I think you're a really positive voice on this topic; You don't get caught up in the "team sports" drama, you have your own, well considered opinions, whether they conform to what the "groupthink" is saying, or not. You're never mean-spirited, or self-indulgent. You come across as very sincere and thoughtful. I've left "negative" comments before (nothing super-dramatic; just individual points I had a different view on), but even then, I've always had a lot of respect for you. It feels cheesy, even potentially condescending (hopefully not) to say this stuff, but I think you help a lot of people, on an important, difficult topic, brother. Respect.
As a trans woman I wanna thank you for not playing into populism. I am really sad for you they gave you this surgery while the science is not there yet in most cases.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience and your thoughts in your videos. As a mental health clinician I am appalled by the collusion of the medical organization with the current trans ideology that destroys so many people’s lives and is being pushed by the diktat that we should be “gender affirming“ in our response to patients’ gender dysphoria. You and many detransitioners have the courage to go against the acceptable narrative, and beyond the price you are paying for transitioning in the first place, I am aware of the price you are paying now for speaking up. We clinicians need to hear what you are saying. Again, thank you
I continue to respect you and admire you Alexander as you merit both. Sharing your life and views is helpful to every one listening, no matter their age. I saw a short clip you did on Niceness. I laughed as I have never trusted 'nice'. It always felt like an act to me, those who acted nice. Kindness is true and sound. Nice has a phoniness underlying it, to me. An autopsy of our own thoughts, great line, so helpful, again. Keep on bringing wisdom to us all Alexander. Great man, you.
I am sorry your life has had so many trials. May your soul find peace. On the bright side you are still here. You are stronger than you know. Your existence is proof that you are a fighter. Keep going, keep fighting, the alternative is not an option. Please know you are loved.
Thank you for sharing. This is a good analysis and commentary about life and the bad things that happen and how we can move on from them. This is great and inspiring. Imo, I don’t think you should blame yourself that much. You got caught up in a much bigger situation that was predatory. But yeah good for you!!
i'm so sorry. I always tell people that being trans is not about the top or bottom surgeries, it's about feeling comfortable as who you need to be. A bottom surgery is so very risky and I feel for your younger self who had it done thinking it would make you "more" of a trans woman. There are so many complicated thoughts associated with being trans... and "doing the surgeries" does not define how you transition. I think that letting other people know your story will help them make a better informed decision about what they want to do with their bodies. Sending love, healing and I hope that you can love who you are. The physical damage is just so sad.. It's such a bummer.
I feel it's important for trans people to also know that detransitioning isn't a problem and totally fine. Sadly though (as is evident) being trans, and detransitioning is quite hard socially. Anyways have a nice day 🌹:3
@@randomnamd627 Detransitioning is not as easy as you think, especially if you went the medical route. In my case, I was born a girl, but socially presented as a boy since I was a kid, around 3-4 years old, until my teenage years and when I decided to present feminine at around 18-19 years old, I encoutered a lot of resistance from those around me. There were a few who said I was pretty, and looked nice etc, but most would tell me they couldn't recognise me, that I was a different person etc. They felt uncomfortable and this made me uncomfortable. I waited until I left for college to change and I really liked it that people didn't know the old me.
@@ciobalina7445 yeah no that's what I'm saying. You should be able to detransition just as well as "normally" transition. Sadly though (as in your case) society treats (de)trans people not all that well
@@randomnamd627 There are no ,,shoulds" in life when it comes to society or just reality. Life in general just happens and the reality is people, including me and probably you as well, just don't like change that much. They like things to be consistent because it helps make life easier when you can put things into clear atemporal categories. Detransitioning isn't that easy because once people have a perception of you, it's difficult to change their perception. Also, medical transition is not reversable most times. If you take medicine for a long time is has an effect on you, if you have surgeries to remove organs, they won't grow back etc. It's not just about the aesthetic part, but about the actual health issues, like pain or infections. This applies to other situations too, like taking drugs or engaging in sexual activities that are risky and catching a disease because of it. It's difficult to accept that you are sick now because of your past actions, that you caused this harm to yourself. It applies to many other situations. For example, one of my work colleagues died of lung cancer at 40 years old and she was a heavy smoker all her life. Obviously, the doctors considered that this was the most probable cause of her cancer and during the last stages of her disease, when it was obvious she would die, she primarely was upset because she wouldn't be able to see her baby girl grow and her daughter (3 years old) would live without her mom. What I'm saying is that your pain is hightened when you are the cause of your pain in life. To return to the main discussion, it is irrelevant to me what society should or shouldn't do. I accept reality and human nature as they are and try to adapt so as to best survive. There are no shoulds for me because people will never act as I want them to and also because I've notived I share these human traits too, but I do try to become a better person each day. Regardless, I am not perfect and I am at times guilty of similar things, such as gossiping or judging others. My intentions are not bad, but it can happen and those who portray themselves as perfect morally are lying as there is no such thing.
I have Made very Bad decisiones in My life just as many other people have too. You only have to do one thing,,, forgive yourself. I don't know if You belive un God but I need to tell You,,, God loves You, God wants You to have peace, not to be tormented by guilt. Talk to God in prayer and tell him that You are tired, Embrace God, cling to Him, He Will be your peace and your strength. I am an old woman and I think,,, what I Will tell him if he be My son , My grandson. I don't speak English, forgive me if I don't write well.
I really think no one should do procedures for cosmetic or transitions. My cousins daughter just had top surgery. It’s like a boob job except reverse. I think the person has a disorder of identity. No matter what you feel changing your physical appearance doesn’t fix it.
Despite the scars I am happy with my mastectomy. I am a transman. But even if I wasn't trans I would be happy with my mastectomy because I had heavy breasts and they hurt very much.
Hi Alexander Elizabeth from NYC here. I am of the mindset that when an event happens (good or bad) we are forever changed. It's impossible not to be. Even if we have the best attitude and a healthy mindset..... Life has changed from that event. To pretend otherwise is a complete falsehood Every mindful minute is just life happening and we must check out rearview mirror but be sure to be looking straight ahead to where we are going and not get so stuck on where we came from. I find it so fascinating that you had the ability to analyze your issues and cross back to a point where you life makes sense and works for you. Reality switching is a waste of time and very harmful to a peaceful existence even if no one ballks most DO NOT believe that plastic surgery and hormone are just artificial fixes and the real happiness and work occurs in our brains Acceptance of reality is the rock bed of reality. Functioning adults must not be placated by pressing others to say yes to unstable fantasies. Love your sanity. Be well.
What is your opinion about a transition without opt for the bottom surgery? I am a transman and I don't want bottom surgery. Simply not because of the risks involved.
@@carinagomezfernandez7473 I think it's a reasonable path. Until those surgeries are safe and provide actual good functioning results it is not something I'd recommend. I find it to be the case that many transmen don't opt for the surgery. I have heard some horror stories from such surgeries and lack of function is definitely off-putting. Best of luck to you.
Alexander, please ignore my comment if it is insensitive or intrusive. I have never heard you comment on “top” surgery. It is surprising that drs would perform “bottom” surgery as the first procedure to perform since the “bottom” surgery is far more dramatic and irreversible. What are your thoughts?
I'll be happy to answer your question. It is not the case that doctors perform bottom surgery first and then top surgery. There is no fixed timeline you have to follow. Some people choose to get the top surgery first, others pick bottom surgery first. Some get only top, other get only bottom, depends on the individual. Some don't want top surgery because synthetic oestrogen has given them enough breast tissue growth (which is actually the same as in biological females). In my case I didn't get top surgery because I didn't care about it. I didn't want breasts. I didn't want to be a woman, I just didn't want to be a man.
@@alexanderl9721I can only imagine the chaos your life has been through. It is not exactly the same... but as someone who was diagnosed as bipolar nearly 30yrs ago I understand battling yourself. There are some people who don't "get it". When the enemy is physical or visible and everyone can see it, the solution seems easier. But what happens when the enemy is yourself? And you are locked in with your own brain? That is a concept "normal" people can't grasp. Please know you are not alone. And you are 100% correct, you have the capability to surprise yourself. "You won't know how strong you are till you realize you DIDN'T BREAK". Our guy Tom inspiring us as usual. Just found you. Can't wait to catch up on your story. Love your spirit.
Im sorry friend, I think that anyone whom is not ignorant to what you're talking about could only say, try to live the best you can and take care of the present body that you have. Take care and God bless friend.
No, I don't. I used to but decided to gonoff testosterone. It might be bad for my body but so are synthetic drugs that increase your risk of heart disease and stroke. Besides, both testosterone and oestrogen me feel miserable. There is no healthy options once your gonads have been removed. I can either choose an unhealthy option that makes me feel miserable or I can choose an unhealthy option that makes me feel better.
.Alexander by speaking up u have Hella Big Positive input in helping or even SAVING OTHER HUMENS LIFE'S . ITS A PRIVILEGE TO HEAR YOUR LIFE JOURNEY, THANK YOU.❤️🫡💪🙌🌹🙏🎖🤯🥰✌️👽
Alexander, your decision to reframe your decision to transition in terms of acceptance of who & where you were THEN, is so meaningful. It’s allowing yourself to be kind to yourself. As a 72 year old woman, I can tell you that my experience in the shower is likewise not great. Everything I see tells me that my body isn’t repairing itself, and all the sun damage, all the old injuries, everything I did in my youth is manifesting on my body today. But I’m going to follow your example and accept my body as the vehicle that gets me where I need to go, that enables me to enjoy all the pleasures of this season of my life. I may not be happy with what it looks like or what it can’t do anymore, but I accept who & where I am now. Wishing you continued healing, in whatever form it takes.🌻
wow very beutiful reflexions ❤
That was very touching to read. Wish you all the best.
Thank you for sharing. My sister destransitioned. She went from ftm and has been dealing with the loss of her breasts, the side affects of HRT etc. This all happened to her under age when the family was told after one appointment that she would end her life if we didn’t support her. It’s been tough but am so thankful for people like you who share their story. Stay strong, I can’t imagine what your going through. Just know you are helping so many. Imo we need better safe guards in place for those who have gender dysphoria and those that don’t. We also need more help for those who have decided to detransition. I truly am thankful for you sharing. ❤
The doctors really need to stop saying this phrase. It's almost like they know better than the patient. Hope your sister is doing well.
@@alexanderl9721 she is doing better thank you. We are trying to help her save for breast implants and hopefully that will help. For now she accepts what happened but honestly still will have times she cries herself to sleep.
Once again thank you for your bravery with sharing your truth. I agree the doctors need to change. You are truly amazing. ❤️
Alexander, I appreciate you sharing your reflections on this painful anniversary with us.
It's not easy to live with regret nor with constant physical pain/limitations - but you are pushing onwards and striving to make the best of it. I commend you for your positive attitude and for keeping it real, with us your audience and also, importantly, with yourself.
Thanks.
@@alexanderl9721 I hope you'll continue to share with us, as and when you can.
I find your perspectives thoughtful, humble, considered. You've helped me to have compassion for those who are struggling or have struggled with issues of gender identity, body dysmorphia and/or poor mental health. Hearing your story reminds me not to be too quick to 'other' or judge - especially not on an individual/human level - much as I may dislike and be concerned about the trans "rights" movement.
I‘ve also had a disastrous accident at work which ruined my lif, but listening to you I‘ve realized that I never have thought of that day as an anniversary….
Thank you for showing me my own ‚positivity‘, I do struggle with it
Thanks. It's interesting to see how my videos can be useful to people who haven't been affected by the same issue as me. All the best to you.
I just want to say I think you're a really positive voice on this topic; You don't get caught up in the "team sports" drama, you have your own, well considered opinions, whether they conform to what the "groupthink" is saying, or not. You're never mean-spirited, or self-indulgent. You come across as very sincere and thoughtful.
I've left "negative" comments before (nothing super-dramatic; just individual points I had a different view on), but even then, I've always had a lot of respect for you.
It feels cheesy, even potentially condescending (hopefully not) to say this stuff, but I think you help a lot of people, on an important, difficult topic, brother. Respect.
Thank you. It means a lot.
Power to you, Alexander and all your projects.
Warmest wishes from Scotland 🏴
Cheers!
Broadening our perspective on our lives and choices offers the opportunity for growth and healing. Appreciate you sharing your experiences Alex.
Thanks.
As a trans woman I wanna thank you for not playing into populism.
I am really sad for you they gave you this surgery while the science is not there yet in most cases.
Thanks. Appreciate it. It's always good seeing trans people on my channel.
im so sorry Alex you're a brave soul
I’m so sorry you’ve gone through all that, hopes it gets better.
Thanks.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience and your thoughts in your videos. As a mental health clinician I am appalled by the collusion of the medical organization with the current trans ideology that destroys so many people’s lives and is being pushed by the diktat that we should be “gender affirming“ in our response to patients’ gender dysphoria. You and many detransitioners have the courage to go against the acceptable narrative, and beyond the price you are paying for transitioning in the first place, I am aware of the price you are paying now for speaking up. We clinicians need to hear what you are saying.
Again, thank you
I continue to respect you and admire you Alexander as you merit both. Sharing your life and views is helpful to every one listening, no matter their age. I saw a short clip you did on Niceness. I laughed as I have never trusted 'nice'. It always felt like an act to me, those who acted nice. Kindness is true and sound. Nice has a phoniness underlying it, to me. An autopsy of our own thoughts, great line, so helpful, again. Keep on bringing wisdom to us all Alexander. Great man, you.
I am sorry your life has had so many trials. May your soul find peace. On the bright side you are still here. You are stronger than you know. Your existence is proof that you are a fighter. Keep going, keep fighting, the alternative is not an option. Please know you are loved.
Thank you for sharing this.
You are a very couragous and intelligent handsome young man. I am sure you will have lots of success with your channel. I wish you all the best.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This is a good analysis and commentary about life and the bad things that happen and how we can move on from them. This is great and inspiring. Imo, I don’t think you should blame yourself that much. You got caught up in a much bigger situation that was predatory. But yeah good for you!!
Thank you.
i'm so sorry. I always tell people that being trans is not about the top or bottom surgeries, it's about feeling comfortable as who you need to be. A bottom surgery is so very risky and I feel for your younger self who had it done thinking it would make you "more" of a trans woman. There are so many complicated thoughts associated with being trans... and "doing the surgeries" does not define how you transition. I think that letting other people know your story will help them make a better informed decision about what they want to do with their bodies. Sending love, healing and I hope that you can love who you are. The physical damage is just so sad.. It's such a bummer.
I feel it's important for trans people to also know that detransitioning isn't a problem and totally fine. Sadly though (as is evident) being trans, and detransitioning is quite hard socially. Anyways have a nice day 🌹:3
@@randomnamd627 Detransitioning is not as easy as you think, especially if you went the medical route. In my case, I was born a girl, but socially presented as a boy since I was a kid, around 3-4 years old, until my teenage years and when I decided to present feminine at around 18-19 years old, I encoutered a lot of resistance from those around me. There were a few who said I was pretty, and looked nice etc, but most would tell me they couldn't recognise me, that I was a different person etc. They felt uncomfortable and this made me uncomfortable. I waited until I left for college to change and I really liked it that people didn't know the old me.
@@ciobalina7445 yeah no that's what I'm saying. You should be able to detransition just as well as "normally" transition. Sadly though (as in your case) society treats (de)trans people not all that well
@@randomnamd627 There are no ,,shoulds" in life when it comes to society or just reality. Life in general just happens and the reality is people, including me and probably you as well, just don't like change that much. They like things to be consistent because it helps make life easier when you can put things into clear atemporal categories.
Detransitioning isn't that easy because once people have a perception of you, it's difficult to change their perception. Also, medical transition is not reversable most times. If you take medicine for a long time is has an effect on you, if you have surgeries to remove organs, they won't grow back etc. It's not just about the aesthetic part, but about the actual health issues, like pain or infections. This applies to other situations too, like taking drugs or engaging in sexual activities that are risky and catching a disease because of it.
It's difficult to accept that you are sick now because of your past actions, that you caused this harm to yourself. It applies to many other situations. For example, one of my work colleagues died of lung cancer at 40 years old and she was a heavy smoker all her life. Obviously, the doctors considered that this was the most probable cause of her cancer and during the last stages of her disease, when it was obvious she would die, she primarely was upset because she wouldn't be able to see her baby girl grow and her daughter (3 years old) would live without her mom. What I'm saying is that your pain is hightened when you are the cause of your pain in life.
To return to the main discussion, it is irrelevant to me what society should or shouldn't do. I accept reality and human nature as they are and try to adapt so as to best survive. There are no shoulds for me because people will never act as I want them to and also because I've notived I share these human traits too, but I do try to become a better person each day. Regardless, I am not perfect and I am at times guilty of similar things, such as gossiping or judging others. My intentions are not bad, but it can happen and those who portray themselves as perfect morally are lying as there is no such thing.
Love to you- your videos are terrific.. you're doing so much good. It's important, what you have to say. All of it. ❤
Thank you.
Very interesting channel. This reminds me of the psych term "metacognition."
You are a wonderful soul. Love to you Alexander.
I have Made very Bad decisiones in My life just as many other people have too. You only have to do one thing,,, forgive yourself. I don't know if You belive un God but I need to tell You,,, God loves You, God wants You to have peace, not to be tormented by guilt. Talk to God in prayer and tell him that You are tired, Embrace God, cling to Him, He Will be your peace and your strength. I am an old woman and I think,,, what I Will tell him if he be My son , My grandson. I don't speak English, forgive me if I don't write well.
Don't worry. I understood you just fine. Bless you.
I really think no one should do procedures for cosmetic or transitions. My cousins daughter just had top surgery. It’s like a boob job except reverse. I think the person has a disorder of identity. No matter what you feel changing your physical appearance doesn’t fix it.
Despite the scars I am happy with my mastectomy. I am a transman. But even if I wasn't trans I would be happy with my mastectomy because I had heavy breasts and they hurt very much.
Hi Alexander
Elizabeth from NYC here. I am of the mindset that when an event happens (good or bad) we are forever changed. It's impossible not to be. Even if we have the best attitude and a healthy mindset..... Life has changed from that event. To pretend otherwise is a complete falsehood Every mindful minute is just life happening and we must check out rearview mirror but be sure to be looking straight ahead to where we are going and not get so stuck on where we came from. I find it so fascinating that you had the ability to analyze your issues and cross back to a point where you life makes sense and works for you. Reality switching is a waste of time and very harmful to a peaceful existence even if no one ballks most DO NOT believe that plastic surgery and hormone are just artificial fixes and the real happiness and work occurs in our brains
Acceptance of reality is the rock bed of reality. Functioning adults must not be placated by pressing others to say yes to unstable fantasies. Love your sanity. Be well.
I send you lods of love ❤️ I am a trans girl myself
Appreciate it.
What is your opinion about a transition without opt for the bottom surgery? I am a transman and I don't want bottom surgery. Simply not because of the risks involved.
@@carinagomezfernandez7473 I think it's a reasonable path. Until those surgeries are safe and provide actual good functioning results it is not something I'd recommend. I find it to be the case that many transmen don't opt for the surgery. I have heard some horror stories from such surgeries and lack of function is definitely off-putting. Best of luck to you.
💗💗💗
Looking forward to video about Tom MacDonald.
I like Tom MacDonald 👍🏼
Me too. Been a fan for a couple of years now. It should be ready this weekend. Literally takes forever to edit it.
Alexander, please ignore my comment if it is insensitive or intrusive. I have never heard you comment on “top” surgery. It is surprising that drs would perform “bottom” surgery as the first procedure to perform since the “bottom” surgery is far more dramatic and irreversible. What are your thoughts?
I'll be happy to answer your question. It is not the case that doctors perform bottom surgery first and then top surgery. There is no fixed timeline you have to follow. Some people choose to get the top surgery first, others pick bottom surgery first. Some get only top, other get only bottom, depends on the individual. Some don't want top surgery because synthetic oestrogen has given them enough breast tissue growth (which is actually the same as in biological females). In my case I didn't get top surgery because I didn't care about it. I didn't want breasts. I didn't want to be a woman, I just didn't want to be a man.
@@alexanderl9721I can only imagine the chaos your life has been through. It is not exactly the same... but as someone who was diagnosed as bipolar nearly 30yrs ago I understand battling yourself. There are some people who don't "get it". When the enemy is physical or visible and everyone can see it, the solution seems easier. But what happens when the enemy is yourself? And you are locked in with your own brain? That is a concept "normal" people can't grasp. Please know you are not alone. And you are 100% correct, you have the capability to surprise yourself. "You won't know how strong you are till you realize you DIDN'T BREAK". Our guy Tom inspiring us as usual. Just found you. Can't wait to catch up on your story. Love your spirit.
💕
Hugs❤️
❤🙏
Im sorry friend, I think that anyone whom is not ignorant to what you're talking about could only say, try to live the best you can and take care of the present body that you have. Take care and God bless friend.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You deserve to forgive yourself. Others did that to you, they don’t deserve forgiveness.
greetins are salutations...
This makes me really sad…
Alexander I hope you are getting testosterone put back in your body. It is very bad for your body to have your levels off
No, I don't. I used to but decided to gonoff testosterone. It might be bad for my body but so are synthetic drugs that increase your risk of heart disease and stroke. Besides, both testosterone and oestrogen me feel miserable. There is no healthy options once your gonads have been removed. I can either choose an unhealthy option that makes me feel miserable or I can choose an unhealthy option that makes me feel better.
thought u said ur fixing to start ur transition??
I never said anything like that.
oh wait wrong person@@alexanderl9721
You are cute.
.Alexander by speaking up u have Hella Big Positive input in helping or even SAVING OTHER HUMENS LIFE'S .
ITS A PRIVILEGE TO HEAR YOUR LIFE JOURNEY, THANK YOU.❤️🫡💪🙌🌹🙏🎖🤯🥰✌️👽
❤❤❤