being self aware is a blessing and a curse. whenever i'm encountering a problem, sometimes i tell this one friend of mine she'd tell me ways to solve it and i'd be like "yeah i know" and she'd be like "then why tell me?". i'm aware i just want to be heard and validated tbh that's why i vent to her even though i already know how to solve said problem. 💀
What I found helps is telling them that you need to vent first, and then to also try and talk about why you find it impossible to follow through with solving the problem. Sometimes our minds constantly wanting to bring stuff up is telling us that we are too scared to think about it alone and need to talk deeper about it all. But that's just my experience. I don't know you :)
Self-awareness does not seem like something people will identify and work on naturally since they won't consider this as a possibility in the first place if their defence mechanisms are in place. Gaining self-awareness almost paradoxically requires some self-awareness to be had in the first place 🤔
interesting point! i tend to be very not self aware in that i cant identify my thoughts or feelings unless i really concentrate... but i have thought that maybe the more someone thinks they know, the less they want to dig deeper ? food for thought!
Yeah, it just kinda of happen in the middle of that realization and then acting on it. I feel like this video will be somewhat helpful, people approach situations differently.
In interviews, they ask what's your biggest weakness and I say perfectionism. But I make sure to explain *how* it is a weakness. It's an inability to know when to call something good enough and instead waste time trying to make something closer to the elusive perfection. This is big in programming for example. You can always always optimize, but sometimes you need to just ship the damn thing.
i think in most ways i'm very self-aware because i tend to over-introspect. however, when it comes to awareness of how other people perceive me/how i come off, i'm extremely lacking; i just have too many insecurities that cloud my judgement, which is very frustrating
At least you're aware that you aren't always aware. Communicating this to people or simply asking them how you might come off might help in some situations.
@@karupt422 Shadow work is quite destructive tho is literally killing your own identity in favor individualization, you must be strong and be acceptance if you can search for a good help source the better
I find that historically I was far more self aware than I am now. And I believe I had to put considerable effort into unlearning to be so self aware, in order to be able to confidently socialize with people
I think that's more about attacking negative biases that cause one to be self-conscious in the way that they judge their every move negatively. I don't really understand this stuff anymore, but I think self-awareness is fairly independent of something like social anxiety. A socially anxious person who is not "self-aware" would probably not understand what causes their social anxiety and how their individual biases affect their behavior. Being self-aware would allow this socially anxious person to spot these biases at work and thus allowing them to etch away at them slowly over time as opposed to not at all, cause this self-awareness allows one to see reality a little more clearly. At least that's how I understand it.
Thank you, Dr. Ana! I'm very much aware that no one else is responsible for my mistakes and my feelings. But that can shift to self-hatred at times. The perception of others seems to be a blind spot for me. I persume, other people perceive me as friendly and shy. But they don't think so much about it, therefore nothing to worry about. Best wishes to you.
This video is particularly good and answers a lot of questions. Therapy is equally as essential as diet. Diet is for the inside, therapy is for the outside. Great Stuff!
I've been kinda grasping that I'm not overly self-aware over the last few weeks and this really drives it home. This helps give me perspective on how I can locate and correct what I'm needing to work on.
What’s interesting is you can tell somebody they have x,y and z issues in terms of self awareness, they can seem to humbly acknowledge where they are being unaware but then not follow up in the practical day to day thought processes to create more self awareness, resulting in making the same mistakes.
Self-awareness is a luxury for many of us. It’s hard to tune inward if you’re worried about whether you’re going to have breakfast in the morning, or whether you have enough gas to get to work/enough change for the bus. Even for those of us with basic needs and securities met, we all have grown up in cultures that prioritize what your role is in your family and whether you’re performing chores adequately. Or whether you’re keeping up with what your friends and followers are doing on social media. Do you have the right clothes and skin care products? How many views did your TikTok get? Even approaching the concept of self-awareness involves deconstruction of the social constructs and mores that we’ve internalized. And that’s hard. It involves tuning out the noise all around us and tuning in to something we aren’t used to listening for. I have chronic depression and generalized anxiety so listening to myself can be exhausting. But it’s so worth it. The longer I listen, the less heavy it gets. And the more familiar and less daunting it becomes. And weirdly my kindness towards myself may be dampened by my mental illness but it doesn’t go away entirely. In better times it comes back so much stronger.
A strong self-awareness will allow you to put all of those external elements you mentioned in their place; external to You. In turn, self examination will provide you with means to better handle the external. Self-awareness is not a luxury; it is vital to physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Edit: You’re right; it can be hard. But the more you strengthen that muscle the more self-awareness will become your default setting.
There's a saying with meditation teachers, "You should meditate for 1 hour a day, unless you don't have time, then you should meditate for 2 hours a day." 😉
I know i hate confrontations...they make me feel sick almost as bad as a phobia! I don't surround myself with people who attract drama, confrontational or relentlessly cross boundaries. I made an active decision not to live with the kids from my first year of university because one of the girls was really toxic. I know I was the one that missed out on the opportubity to continue to live with them in the 'party house', but i chose to live with people I felt comfortable with. I could have stood up to her but it would have esculated and caused me a great deal of distress. I have a tendancy to swallow bad behaviour and then gently navigate myself away from toxic people...this makes me feel weak and has restricted the types of jobs i feel happy doing, yet the fact is everyone in my circle of people are lovely so something is working right.
Thank you for always laying out all of this information in such a logical and easy-to-grasp way; I really find your videos helpful and actionable, and you are definitely someone that I respect on UA-cam!
I guess I'm moderately self-aware? I definitely catch myself saying/doing things and realizing that it's not ok. Like I know that I'm generally an impatient person and I'm only very patient when i have a motivation (e.g. long shift at work but I'm getting paid for this). Sometimes i find myself using defense mechanisms and generally not being the nicest person but i also don't always feel very guilty about it, i wonder if that's a defense mechanism on its own because I've been a pushover for most of my life and from being bullied sometimes i think i have nothing to lose, but i know that I'm a kind and caring person and actively choose to not be the nicest with everyone at all times.
Those emotions are there because even if aware of it or not someone crossed an uncomfortable boundary and its important to identify and figure out to not completely act on it. But if youre sure someone is being malicious and youre not bound by your job to be polite you should 100% defend yourself.
wow, i thought i was self aware because i am very introspective and always worry about how I come off to others but i feel like i hit almost none of these points. scary but maybe eye opening
7:38 I feel the same way. I’ve had people admit to some very alarming behaviors in the past, and it’s always a huge red flag to me when they can’t explain why they did it. That tells me you either genuinely don’t know or you know and just don’t want to tell me. Both are red flags 🚩🚩
I just had my emoji/emo flow chart updated(with a new downloadl). I use it like, to feel mine and other's fields, without projecting their or my bs on each other's continuity and flow. My flow chart is a brilliant piece of work, for the emotionally impaired. I can correlate, stack and staple at the same time.
Can you even determine how self-aware you are am by yourself? If I lack an outside reference, to compare my own assumptions to. I can't really tell if the assessment is correct. For example, I have a friend who is very sad that he's unable to have serious romantic relationships. And he can't figure out why. And tries to improve his appearance. I am more successful in that department despite being "objectively" less conventionally attractive. And to me (and other people) it's very apparent that he gives everyone the impression he's only interested in sleeping around unless you know him better. But to him it's a giant mystery. He dismisses my attempts at trying to convey the idea that in order to get someone to see him as a romantic option (in a non limmerant way) he needs to show he cares and likes them as people and not just as an option. Him (as an example) being so resistant to information that contradicts what he wants to believe makes me extremely careful about claiming I'm so self-aware about everything when I could just be doing the same thing and never figure it out.
Can it be like a scale? Sometimes, you're not as self-aware, but generally, you are a self-aware person? I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and at the core of me, i do believe im self-aware, but i have slip ups. I do what i can to grow from the experiences, but sometimes i worry, if im really learning, im only 22, so i know mistakes are inevitable. Sometimes, it can just get overwhelming, you know?
Meta self aware people be like. Damn I just did that. But if I contemplate why I did it, I must account for the constituent factors that my life has given me , which affect my ability to objectively perceive the world in an object manner.
Do you think this can influence for example abusive behaviour? That people who are not self aware let‘s say act impulsively in a relationship, don‘t understand why it was wrong and then might be abusive but not „intentionally“?
Do you think self awareness is something you can work on? Or do you think it can be but since it requires some level of self awareness to even realise you lack it, are most people who aren't self aware likely to stay that way because they won't do the work necessary? Do you think this comes from genetics or environment?
Yeah some people may claim to be self aware but be completely off. I do think that to some level you should be aware of your level of self awareness though....
Use DRANA55 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/4d94CNf
this is great but also my silly goose of a self took a hot second to figure out that drana is doctor Ana not Drah-Noh
Self aware people be like: damn what did I just think
I'm pretty sure they know what they just thought.
@@Sarcasmarkus No, we actually all know what you think 👁👁
@@joshuahummel2858 😱
😄
being self aware is a blessing and a curse. whenever i'm encountering a problem, sometimes i tell this one friend of mine she'd tell me ways to solve it and i'd be like "yeah i know" and she'd be like "then why tell me?". i'm aware i just want to be heard and validated tbh that's why i vent to her even though i already know how to solve said problem. 💀
What I found helps is telling them that you need to vent first, and then to also try and talk about why you find it impossible to follow through with solving the problem. Sometimes our minds constantly wanting to bring stuff up is telling us that we are too scared to think about it alone and need to talk deeper about it all. But that's just my experience. I don't know you :)
Self-awareness does not seem like something people will identify and work on naturally since they won't consider this as a possibility in the first place if their defence mechanisms are in place. Gaining self-awareness almost paradoxically requires some self-awareness to be had in the first place 🤔
Very astute observation. It reminds me of the saying that says a narcissist is the last person to believe they might be a narcissist
interesting point! i tend to be very not self aware in that i cant identify my thoughts or feelings unless i really concentrate... but i have thought that maybe the more someone thinks they know, the less they want to dig deeper ? food for thought!
@@xxaavviieerrrrrmeditation makes it easier to both be self aware and have better control of your reactions.
You a real one for this ngl
Yeah, it just kinda of happen in the middle of that realization and then acting on it.
I feel like this video will be somewhat helpful, people approach situations differently.
In interviews, they ask what's your biggest weakness and I say perfectionism. But I make sure to explain *how* it is a weakness. It's an inability to know when to call something good enough and instead waste time trying to make something closer to the elusive perfection. This is big in programming for example. You can always always optimize, but sometimes you need to just ship the damn thing.
Our girl getting sponsored!!
🎉🎉
i think in most ways i'm very self-aware because i tend to over-introspect. however, when it comes to awareness of how other people perceive me/how i come off, i'm extremely lacking; i just have too many insecurities that cloud my judgement, which is very frustrating
At least you're aware that you aren't always aware. Communicating this to people or simply asking them how you might come off might help in some situations.
Same
shadow work has been a great tool for me to develop more self awareness
Shadow work made mw lose my mind
@@karupt422 i think thats just step 1
@@reiredacted im quite far along...no end in sight
@@karupt422 Shadow work is quite destructive tho is literally killing your own identity in favor individualization, you must be strong and be acceptance if you can search for a good help source the better
Traditional meditation systems are helpful and not destructive.
thank you for making me aware i'm not self aware. this was genuinely helpful
I find that historically I was far more self aware than I am now. And I believe I had to put considerable effort into unlearning to be so self aware, in order to be able to confidently socialize with people
It sounds a lot like social anxiety which is... hmm, a fear-limited self-awareness?
I think that's more about attacking negative biases that cause one to be self-conscious in the way that they judge their every move negatively.
I don't really understand this stuff anymore, but I think self-awareness is fairly independent of something like social anxiety. A socially anxious person who is not "self-aware" would probably not understand what causes their social anxiety and how their individual biases affect their behavior. Being self-aware would allow this socially anxious person to spot these biases at work and thus allowing them to etch away at them slowly over time as opposed to not at all, cause this self-awareness allows one to see reality a little more clearly. At least that's how I understand it.
Thank you, Dr. Ana! I'm very much aware that no one else is responsible for my mistakes and my feelings. But that can shift to self-hatred at times. The perception of others seems to be a blind spot for me. I persume, other people perceive me as friendly and shy. But they don't think so much about it, therefore nothing to worry about. Best wishes to you.
This video is particularly good and answers a lot of questions. Therapy is equally as essential as diet. Diet is for the inside, therapy is for the outside.
Great Stuff!
1:00 Emotion urge ❤
I feel like there are times I am and times I'm not. I like to think I am, but I'm not always that self aware in the moment lol
I've been kinda grasping that I'm not overly self-aware over the last few weeks and this really drives it home. This helps give me perspective on how I can locate and correct what I'm needing to work on.
What’s interesting is you can tell somebody they have x,y and z issues in terms of self awareness, they can seem to humbly acknowledge where they are being unaware but then not follow up in the practical day to day thought processes to create more self awareness, resulting in making the same mistakes.
Me
Besides the point: your hair looks amazing!
Self-awareness is a luxury for many of us. It’s hard to tune inward if you’re worried about whether you’re going to have breakfast in the morning, or whether you have enough gas to get to work/enough change for the bus. Even for those of us with basic needs and securities met, we all have grown up in cultures that prioritize what your role is in your family and whether you’re performing chores adequately. Or whether you’re keeping up with what your friends and followers are doing on social media. Do you have the right clothes and skin care products? How many views did your TikTok get?
Even approaching the concept of self-awareness involves deconstruction of the social constructs and mores that we’ve internalized. And that’s hard. It involves tuning out the noise all around us and tuning in to something we aren’t used to listening for. I have chronic depression and generalized anxiety so listening to myself can be exhausting.
But it’s so worth it. The longer I listen, the less heavy it gets. And the more familiar and less daunting it becomes. And weirdly my kindness towards myself may be dampened by my mental illness but it doesn’t go away entirely. In better times it comes back so much stronger.
A strong self-awareness will allow you to put all of those external elements you mentioned in their place; external to You. In turn, self examination will provide you with means to better handle the external.
Self-awareness is not a luxury; it is vital to physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Edit:
You’re right; it can be hard. But the more you strengthen that muscle the more self-awareness will become your default setting.
Nice excuses
There's a saying with meditation teachers,
"You should meditate for 1 hour a day, unless you don't have time, then you should meditate for 2 hours a day." 😉
I think this answers one of my problems that I’ve been wondering.
As far as I'm aware, I'm very good at this
I know i hate confrontations...they make me feel sick almost as bad as a phobia! I don't surround myself with people who attract drama, confrontational or relentlessly cross boundaries. I made an active decision not to live with the kids from my first year of university because one of the girls was really toxic. I know I was the one that missed out on the opportubity to continue to live with them in the 'party house', but i chose to live with people I felt comfortable with. I could have stood up to her but it would have esculated and caused me a great deal of distress. I have a tendancy to swallow bad behaviour and then gently navigate myself away from toxic people...this makes me feel weak and has restricted the types of jobs i feel happy doing, yet the fact is everyone in my circle of people are lovely so something is working right.
Thank you for always laying out all of this information in such a logical and easy-to-grasp way; I really find your videos helpful and actionable, and you are definitely someone that I respect on UA-cam!
I guess I'm moderately self-aware? I definitely catch myself saying/doing things and realizing that it's not ok. Like I know that I'm generally an impatient person and I'm only very patient when i have a motivation (e.g. long shift at work but I'm getting paid for this). Sometimes i find myself using defense mechanisms and generally not being the nicest person but i also don't always feel very guilty about it, i wonder if that's a defense mechanism on its own because I've been a pushover for most of my life and from being bullied sometimes i think i have nothing to lose, but i know that I'm a kind and caring person and actively choose to not be the nicest with everyone at all times.
Those emotions are there because even if aware of it or not someone crossed an uncomfortable boundary and its important to identify and figure out to not completely act on it. But if youre sure someone is being malicious and youre not bound by your job to be polite you should 100% defend yourself.
@@gatorssbmthere's tricks on using your words without being a complete d bag, it takes some learning and practice though.
Is the room you're in during the ad at your new place? I love the lighting and overall vibe!
Fascinating topic 😊
Love your videos Dr Ana! Thank you :)
wow, i thought i was self aware because i am very introspective and always worry about how I come off to others but i feel like i hit almost none of these points. scary but maybe eye opening
ur hair is so pretty !!!
Do self conscious people experience higher neuroticism?
Those first 2 pics.. wow!!! 😅
7:38 I feel the same way. I’ve had people admit to some very alarming behaviors in the past, and it’s always a huge red flag to me when they can’t explain why they did it. That tells me you either genuinely don’t know or you know and just don’t want to tell me. Both are red flags 🚩🚩
6:50 responsibility
I just had my emoji/emo flow chart updated(with a new downloadl). I use it like, to feel mine and other's fields, without projecting their or my bs on each other's continuity and flow. My flow chart is a brilliant piece of work, for the emotionally impaired. I can correlate, stack and staple at the same time.
I am most definitely not a self aware person 😂
Can you even determine how self-aware you are am by yourself?
If I lack an outside reference, to compare my own assumptions to. I can't really tell if the assessment is correct.
For example, I have a friend who is very sad that he's unable to have serious romantic relationships. And he can't figure out why. And tries to improve his appearance.
I am more successful in that department despite being "objectively" less conventionally attractive.
And to me (and other people) it's very apparent that he gives everyone the impression he's only interested in sleeping around unless you know him better. But to him it's a giant mystery. He dismisses my attempts at trying to convey the idea that in order to get someone to see him as a romantic option (in a non limmerant way) he needs to show he cares and likes them as people and not just as an option.
Him (as an example) being so resistant to information that contradicts what he wants to believe makes me extremely careful about claiming I'm so self-aware about everything when I could just be doing the same thing and never figure it out.
A mixture of grief and happiness...grappiness?
awesome video! very insightful
How do I deal with somebody who is guilty of not being self-aware? My dad is that way.
I’m scared of being a hypocrite without knowing it ;-;
Can it be like a scale? Sometimes, you're not as self-aware, but generally, you are a self-aware person? I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and at the core of me, i do believe im self-aware, but i have slip ups. I do what i can to grow from the experiences, but sometimes i worry, if im really learning, im only 22, so i know mistakes are inevitable. Sometimes, it can just get overwhelming, you know?
Dr. Ana I love your videos so much but I detest UA-cam so greatly! do you have any plans to upload these to Spotify in the future?
My self esteem GREATLY affects my perception of how others see me. It’s really scary actually
Meta self aware people be like. Damn I just did that. But if I contemplate why I did it, I must account for the constituent factors that my life has given me , which affect my ability to objectively perceive the world in an object manner.
So what do I do with all this self awareness?
Does being in a self-aware , non self-aware relationship workout?
Do you think this can influence for example abusive behaviour? That people who are not self aware let‘s say act impulsively in a relationship, don‘t understand why it was wrong and then might be abusive but not „intentionally“?
Do you think self awareness is something you can work on? Or do you think it can be but since it requires some level of self awareness to even realise you lack it, are most people who aren't self aware likely to stay that way because they won't do the work necessary? Do you think this comes from genetics or environment?
Do you think heredity can make you more predisposed to lack of self awareness?
And smart
I’m dead from the ending music lmaooooo.
So Self-aware person basically practices some form of metacognition?
Too early for a list ?
I listened for 5 minutes and thought it was about software people
"If you've found that you're surprisingly self-aware..." then are you, are you really? 🤣
Maybe...
sounds like a witty but not very self aware person might say.
Yeah some people may claim to be self aware but be completely off. I do think that to some level you should be aware of your level of self awareness though....
How fats grow your hair girl, you have to give us the secret !!!
❤
ples
Ironically, the Scent Bird CEO is not very self-aware. She said H*tler was not all that bad on her podcast.
Holy shit I did not know this but I googled it and you are indeed correct. Definitely not a brand I want to support
@AnaPsychology you really should check her out. Some of her views are questionable to say the least.
Self awear is people who do not believe they good at "self awear"
People who believe am so good it call " narcissist"