How to actually be happy, according to positive psychology

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  • Опубліковано 27 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 222

  • @AnaPsychology
    @AnaPsychology  3 місяці тому +12

    Use DRANA to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/4bTS3oH

  • @aleidius192
    @aleidius192 3 місяці тому +164

    I think the difference between weather and climate might be a useful analogy. It can still rain in a place with a sunny climate because the climate is not what the weather does on any one day, because climate in the pattern of weather over an extended period.
    Happiness is not just pleasure in the moment, but the long term preponderance of pleasure over pain.

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  3 місяці тому +28

      Yess, this is an amazing analogy!

    • @bens5859
      @bens5859 3 місяці тому +3

      Preponderance 🤌

  • @user-20deal
    @user-20deal 3 місяці тому +70

    23 minutes? Queen is feeding us

  • @kangkhita
    @kangkhita 3 місяці тому +64

    I think a lot of it comes down to choice. You have to choose to be happy. You have to choose to not be a victim because sometimes, we really are the architect of our own misfortunes. Taking accountability and choosing happiness changed my life.

    • @maisakura9672
      @maisakura9672 3 місяці тому +1

      You clearly don't know how the mind works. It's easier said than done. I would want you to get clinical depression and ask you to choose to be healthy. Then we'll see how you do it.

    • @em97c
      @em97c 3 місяці тому +4

      Agree so much! Things have happened to me in my life that haven't been "my fault" exactly, but taking responsibility for what I'm doing now in present time has been so freeing and empowering, especially compared with staying stuck in resentment about others

    • @alexandreaanderson514
      @alexandreaanderson514 2 дні тому

      Yet it's how society, others and ourselves treat ourselves that determines how we will behave as well as both nature and nurture. Doesn't sound like choice to me.

    • @theappleboom5391
      @theappleboom5391 2 дні тому +1

      @@alexandreaanderson514 You don't change your nature and nurture. You are your nature and nurture. Then you, the nature and nurture, chooses.

    • @alexandreaanderson514
      @alexandreaanderson514 День тому

      @@theappleboom5391 I never said I could change my nature and nurture; I was saying that nature and nurture determine your choices as well as society and how others, treat you, society and other people are both nature and nurture. You will treat people and yourself based on how society and others treat you over time. In a society driven by only instincts created by both nature and nurture no choice exists cause both nature and nurture determine our instincts.

  • @kimnotkardashian
    @kimnotkardashian 3 місяці тому +11

    I was literally fighting my internal bitterness which is so stubborn and I’ve had a hard time rationalizing it away because I’m afraid if I’m finally happy consistently, it’ll be taken away by even worse circumstances than I was traumatized by before, but when you said you personally believe the universe rewards gratitude and keeps bitter people in their bitter cycle my ears perked up. Like you might have just broken a generational curse of bitterness within me.

    • @moonbun690
      @moonbun690 3 місяці тому

      I definitely relate to the fear of healing and then having it ripped from your hands, you're not alone. I'm in a pretty decent spot right now (knock on wood), and I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop :/

  • @MaryDunford
    @MaryDunford 3 місяці тому +33

    I'm all on board with this. The most miserable, abusive, fragile, people I've known are those who don't live according to these principles and values.
    Choose happy. 😊

  • @Algo1
    @Algo1 3 місяці тому +15

    "When you ask someone for a favor, they feel more positively towards you" makes all the sense in the world to me, as it shows trust in the person being asked, that person can feel helpful and important for the person that asked you.
    I want to think I'm someone that will do anything in my capacity to help others in need, especially those closest to me, no matter the circumstance and I feel quite guilty when I'm not able to do what is being asked of me, or I can't do as much as I'd want.
    As I was typing this, a friend called me because he's writing a report of his practice to get his Lawyer title, in a panic.
    I mainly just listened to him vent, and I hope he's feeling better. I know I do.

  • @Dante-lp3bz
    @Dante-lp3bz 3 місяці тому +3

    Ana I just wanna take this time to say how much I appreciate your videos and to let you know how exponentially amazing my life has been since finding them. You're one of my role models, thank you!

  • @kino_cinante
    @kino_cinante 3 місяці тому +29

    I think inner peace is a much more sustainable. And possibly an intermediate state to happiness. The western philosophy is to add one or many things to your life but eastern philosophies encourage people to think about dropping desires.

    • @michaelshannon9169
      @michaelshannon9169 3 місяці тому

      I think we're finally moving past the whole inner peace thing, th eastern stuff, Elkhart Tolle etc etc. We are not above desire, U can close your eyes and cross your legs all U want...

    • @maggiv5401
      @maggiv5401 3 місяці тому +1

      @@michaelshannon9169 the inner peace thing is thousands of years old. I doubt we'll ever move past it. Closing your eyes and sitting cross-legged aren't what does it. But I don't agree that Eastern philosophies are about dropping desires as much as examining them in a way that lightens their pull. Plus, not all Western philosophies are about adding. Christian mystics were in touch with the same essence from Eastern practices that foment the "peace that surpasseth all understanding."

  • @dakine4238
    @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +20

    Why is being human so complicated?

    • @dahkterjacksonbettis5289
      @dahkterjacksonbettis5289 3 місяці тому +7

      That's the fun of it. I think with all that we cannot control in life, there can be a lot of joy and meaning in just accepting the experience. It's gonna end someday anyways, so we might as well soak up all we can.

  • @lucianpop1255
    @lucianpop1255 24 дні тому

    This is the very first time whilst watching something educational on YT that I don't have to do so at 1.5/1.75 times speed.:)
    Congrats Ana, very well informed and almost exhaustive your approach to the 'issue' of happiness and the quid pro quo nature of its background influences.
    L.E. Ai rude in Oltenia?:) Oltenii nostri vorbesc asa de repede ca tine... 😂 All the best!

  • @actuallyarjun
    @actuallyarjun 3 місяці тому +3

    another Ana video when I needed it the most😤

  • @JoseGarcia-si3id
    @JoseGarcia-si3id 3 місяці тому +6

    Thank you Dr. Ana 🙏

  • @bobotrone
    @bobotrone 2 місяці тому

    Thank you so much, I can't pay for therapy right now and your videos are literally keeping me alive

  • @benduncan4027
    @benduncan4027 3 місяці тому +177

    As my birthday is today. If you (all people in the comments) wish me happy birthday, this would already make me very happy.
    P.S. Most probably by wishing me happy birthday you’ve not only made me happier but also helped yourself to get happier. Thank you to everyone who did this.
    P.S. #2: Wow so many greetings 😳, I am extremely touched 🥹

  • @capybarawarrior1
    @capybarawarrior1 3 місяці тому +1

    Literally the exact moment I needed this

  • @corryblackmon3513
    @corryblackmon3513 3 місяці тому +2

    Wishing you a very happy birthday and a special day all around.

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  3 місяці тому +3

      Thank you but it’s not my birthday 😁 someone else said it’s their bday in the comment, I think that might be the confusion

  • @SoVidushi
    @SoVidushi 3 місяці тому

    my self efficacy is low af, this is such a good video and I am excited to implement some of these things into my life. In a transitional phase and unsure of what my strengths or values are, hopefully this is a step in the right direction.

  • @powerover5
    @powerover5 3 місяці тому +9

    Too much useful information and advices for one video I hardly can keep up with everything lol

    • @blinkur09mom
      @blinkur09mom 3 місяці тому

      That’s why you have to take notes!

    • @liquidmoonizze
      @liquidmoonizze 3 місяці тому +1

      Yeah, we could use a dedicated video for each of these topics tbh 😅

  • @Cutest1TheGame
    @Cutest1TheGame 3 місяці тому +3

    Happy Birthday!

  • @JakeWilliams-gn6eq
    @JakeWilliams-gn6eq 3 місяці тому +13

    canine slander detected: mental health is only treatable via owning a dog

  • @sealwhiskers3515
    @sealwhiskers3515 3 місяці тому +1

    Interested in 'you're more likely to divorce if your parents did this' and power struggles between men and women in dating!

  • @nomnom137
    @nomnom137 3 місяці тому

    I’ve been following you for years and love how much useful and eye-opening insights you have. Recently, Inside Out 2 just came out. I was wondering if you could ever share insights related to that movie and/or the first movie and how we can apply those films’ lessons in real life

  • @MrRatMommy
    @MrRatMommy 3 місяці тому +6

    15:50 optimism and pessimism as risk factors or good-enhancing factors.
    10:43 if they have a strong sense of morality they will not judge it weird

    • @MaryDunford
      @MaryDunford 3 місяці тому

      Bonus points for having a cat. 😂

    • @MrRatMommy
      @MrRatMommy 3 місяці тому

      @@MaryDunford cats eat mostly meat and they are killer machines and kill even for fun. read scientific stuff about it, not from political cat lovers.
      and this means dor all other animals grrreeeat suffering.
      i will never support having such violent way of fun at home. i dont need to be responsible for deaths of very sweet animals ghat jusg look different to a cat and are different size. :) again: sense of morality can come up here.

  • @nimics
    @nimics 3 місяці тому +18

    I just gaslight myself into being happy it’s simple really

    • @michaelshannon9169
      @michaelshannon9169 3 місяці тому +4

      That IS positive psychology in one phrase.

    • @heather6679
      @heather6679 3 місяці тому +2

      Gaslighting implies dishonesty. Positive psychological practices fundamentally require honesty with the self in order to be effective for more than 5 minutes. Lol

    • @heather6679
      @heather6679 3 місяці тому +2

      @@michaelshannon9169are you confusing toxic positivity with the study of human flourishing? 🤔

    • @maggiv5401
      @maggiv5401 3 місяці тому

      @@heather6679 glad someone said it. Forced optimism can backfire when a situation finally reveals that the individual has just been doing something he thought he was supposed to do.

  • @TobyTeitel
    @TobyTeitel 3 місяці тому

    Her impact her wisdom 💜💜

  • @frogiwthoutahat
    @frogiwthoutahat 3 місяці тому

    your intense cat tangent was so funny, you've sold me on cat ownership 🤣

  • @capybarawarrior1
    @capybarawarrior1 3 місяці тому +1

    SHE MOTHERED WITH THIS ONE I FEAR…

  • @corryblackmon3513
    @corryblackmon3513 3 місяці тому

    After looking at the name of the birthday person I noticed that it wasn't you but I thought that someone needed a lift today so I sent the greeting.
    I learn a lot from your videos and I really like your sense of humour. (Canadian spelling.) Be well.

  • @nonono777
    @nonono777 3 місяці тому +2

    I experienced a loss recently and I don't want to be happy

    • @MaryDunford
      @MaryDunford 3 місяці тому +2

      Why are you punishing yourself for being in pain? If it's a loved one you've lost, they wouldn't want you to do this if they loved you back. If it's something material, this sort of thinking will make it harder to replace.
      Please consider it. 🙏

    • @jessicaairhienbuwa2306
      @jessicaairhienbuwa2306 3 місяці тому +2

      ❤️🙏🏽

    • @scenepunk09
      @scenepunk09 3 місяці тому +3

      At times when I have felt like I don't want to be happy it has been because:
      1) being happy would mean I got over a person I broke up with.
      2) someone else I cared about wasnt happy and that made me unhappy and guilty about being happy
      3) I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy in general.
      4) I was more used to being unhappy so feeling happy was unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable. I felt like something would inevitably ruin it.
      Either way it sounds like u are feeling depressed and I hope one day soon u will want to and feel like you deserve to be happy ❤

    • @maggiv5401
      @maggiv5401 3 місяці тому +1

      I believe you are grieving, probably understandably. That reaction can be part of normal grief and recovery. Be gentle with yourself. Try to find a balance between having an underlying sense that time could make things better without making it an obligation to bounce back fast. One of my teachers has said to consider figuratively cuddling your resistance to happiness like a hurt child that really wants just to be held and accepted, not pushed away nor built up. It's an inside job and is part of growth.

  • @anamaria-db7pq
    @anamaria-db7pq 3 місяці тому

    thank you, I took notes!

  • @bitterheat3415
    @bitterheat3415 3 місяці тому

    Can you elaborate on what you would consider to be someone's core strengths?

  • @NickiManoj-cd5eh
    @NickiManoj-cd5eh 3 місяці тому

    You would love Lattafa Khamrah! Please do try it if you like warm scents ❤

  • @Debashmita-Misc-dd9sz
    @Debashmita-Misc-dd9sz 3 місяці тому

    Can you please make a video about Engagement and Flow?

  • @xBakaCake
    @xBakaCake 3 місяці тому

    What a great video, took away so much

  • @cedricburkhart3738
    @cedricburkhart3738 3 місяці тому

    I don't know if I would feel comfortable phoning someone at all. Let alone 4 AM. How is that even a thing?🤯

  • @dakine4238
    @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +6

    How to get out of victim mindset when you have been a victim for real?

    • @heather6679
      @heather6679 3 місяці тому +6

      Grieving for what was lost in the process of being victimized. Feeling all the feelings and allowing yourself to hold space for the anger because it will periodically revisit you. Noticing what is different now that this bad thing happened to you, and deciding how you want to proceed. Trauma-informed therapy may be imperative for this process. You’ll eventually get to a place where you will feel ready to find your power and agency again.

    • @dakine4238
      @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +4

      @@heather6679 thanks, appreciate the well thought out response and advice :)

    • @EbonyHoopGyal
      @EbonyHoopGyal 3 місяці тому

      @@heather6679what do you mean by decide how to proceed? Are there some options or suggestions?

    • @heather6679
      @heather6679 3 місяці тому

      @@EbonyHoopGyalit really depends on your circumstances. It’s hard to generalize that sort of advice.

  • @Girlwithapurse03
    @Girlwithapurse03 3 місяці тому

    Great video!

  • @jerrychen2302
    @jerrychen2302 3 місяці тому +1

    i dont even know if i can be happy tbh

  • @knwngthwrds
    @knwngthwrds 3 місяці тому

    Hi Ana, I’d love to hear your thoughts and explanations regarding IFS therapy. I was somewhat recently introduced to it by my psychologist and it’s a method that I’ve been able to connect to more than other things I’ve tried.

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  3 місяці тому +1

      I just read Richard Schwartz' book No Bad Parts and it wasn't for me, but I'm glad it works for you! I've heard great things about IFS from many people. I think where he lost me was in the claim that "parts" aren't just metaphorical personifications. I can see people taking their "parts" a bit too far if they think they're genuinely real. From my perspective, mental personifications are just the way we make meaning of clusters of traits within ourselves, not actual spiritual beings inside us.

    • @knwngthwrds
      @knwngthwrds 3 місяці тому

      @@AnaPsychology ahhh i can see that. For me I took it metaphorically. It helped me to finally unblend and stop enmeshing myself with my emotions , in a sense I can now talk to myself or my “parts” in a more kind and compassionate way I wasn’t able to before. Thanks for your thoughts :)

  • @micgalovic
    @micgalovic 3 місяці тому

    You spend most of your days in flow?? I thought that it comes and goes with a peak of an interest.

  • @Youttubeuser20932
    @Youttubeuser20932 3 місяці тому

    Would you be interested in collaborating with other UA-camrs for analytical discussions about certain topics, or are you focused only on solo vids?

  • @godsent2000
    @godsent2000 3 місяці тому

    2:17 flow state video when

  • @klzzz
    @klzzz 3 місяці тому

    Did u watch Romania’s win against Ukraine in the euros?

  • @chamomilescented9877
    @chamomilescented9877 3 місяці тому

    so good

  • @DaughterOfTheKingdom16
    @DaughterOfTheKingdom16 3 місяці тому

    lol I am allergic to cats so i opted for bunnies.

  • @godsent2000
    @godsent2000 3 місяці тому

    15:40

  • @tach393
    @tach393 3 місяці тому +2

    the only thing that will make me happy is ana replying to me

  • @Palette-without-paint
    @Palette-without-paint 3 місяці тому

    knocking doors to hand gratitude letter to folks is not socially acceptable, they will be like "Are you alright?? Are you gay?!!"

  • @Danielf_c
    @Danielf_c 3 місяці тому

    Summary about this video:
    Doing a gratitude letter to someone and deliver. (Positive emotion). 3 things that went right today (what and how that happen).
    Engagement (

  • @dakine4238
    @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +1

    What was the feline add in the middle? That was weird lol

    • @stephwliu
      @stephwliu 3 місяці тому

      I also couldn't understand that

    • @dakine4238
      @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +1

      @@stephwliu maybe it was an editing mistake or subliminal messaging lol

    • @Melonsbitter
      @Melonsbitter 3 місяці тому +3

      I think she was being funny and light hearted as cats enhance her wellbeing

    • @tymorales8333
      @tymorales8333 3 місяці тому +2

      ive been binge watching ana videos and she rly loves her cat so im assuming it was just a silly intermission

  • @Turorudi95
    @Turorudi95 3 місяці тому

    Where is the link for the anti k9 propaganda?

  • @MOR00311
    @MOR00311 3 місяці тому +1

    LONG. LIVE. CAT. THERAPY

  • @viktors.kovacs115
    @viktors.kovacs115 3 місяці тому

    I'm sorry for writing this: but what you laid down here is a great, but the most important puzzle piece is missing and I tell the readers of this comment right now: you GOING TO fail without this one: that's the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. That's personal experience of mine. I lost 40 kg and I pursuing the carrier path which makes me joyful.) There is no meaning in life without that (and this is not the "universe" which by the way frustratingly sounded like God) you cannot keep up the optimism without that, you cannot look into the eyes of fear without his help (which He did), flow state is when you walk with God and let Holy Spirit in you which is the most clear definition of the Holy Spirit etc. So put that 🧩 into the picture, and you will truly find true happiness in this life and next one forever!

    • @LifeisaBeautifulting
      @LifeisaBeautifulting 3 місяці тому

      Not everyone believes in God and you cannot make everyone do so, but it's good that it worked for you

  • @annwan10
    @annwan10 3 місяці тому +18

    you’re so right about cats 😂

  • @marshallcorso8885
    @marshallcorso8885 3 місяці тому +11

    You mentioned this at the end - that we have everything we need within us to be happy, but I also hear from many other sources that we need connection with other humans to be happy. This always throws me off and it’s something I struggle with 😅
    Great video!

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  3 місяці тому +9

      We have everything within us to help us be happy, including the tools to seek connection with others! Connection is of course very important and it doesn’t 100% depend on us, but we have the ability to seek it out in nourishing ways. :)

  • @12Sanguine
    @12Sanguine 3 місяці тому +10

    Maybe first? Always happy to see Ana's videos, no matter when. 😊

  • @tobydandelion
    @tobydandelion Місяць тому +1

    Ooh! This video gave me a great idea for a lovely before bed habit to build with my kids. When we're laying down for bed I'm going to ask them, "What are three things that made us happy today, or that we're happy we have?" And "What are three things you hope will happen tomorrow?" My first isn't quite to talking yet, but I might as well start the habit now, and he can increase his participation in that as he grows. :)

  • @Loi_of_Earth
    @Loi_of_Earth 3 місяці тому +5

    Love your stuff, as always 🫡

  • @carlmuth1390
    @carlmuth1390 3 місяці тому +2

    I lot of the things that you are suggesting (especially about Gratitude) are common suggestions that we use in AA. Also the Nightly Inventory is Step 10 of the 12 Steps...
    The other thing you dsy about 3 open/closed doors is something from Napoleon Hill. In every adversity, every setback, and every heartache, lies the seed of an equal or greater benefit...

  • @BenedictGS
    @BenedictGS 3 місяці тому +2

    Thank you Ana, you give me foundation when I am in a difficult situation

  • @prashlovessamosa
    @prashlovessamosa 3 місяці тому +1

    I just wanna say you are too beautiful.

  • @Personwithopinion
    @Personwithopinion Місяць тому

    do you think you could give an example of a "positive empowered thesis"? I actually want to do the autobiography exercise

  • @KlaraL-_-
    @KlaraL-_- 2 місяці тому

    That´s a great mindset to have... but cats are always better 🐱🥰

  • @heylana719
    @heylana719 3 місяці тому +1

    I loose sense of time by watching UA-cam shorts 😅 I do feel drained afterwards though 😅

    • @maggiv5401
      @maggiv5401 3 місяці тому +1

      Passive activities do not fit the engagement category. The father of the concept of being in flow was clear about that. The activity must meet a threshold of having to use skill, though that threshold can be individual. Many 20th century pastimes do not demand engagement. I don't think he knew about dopamine but they deliver dopamine without effort which is why they can be so compelling but ultimately unsatisfying. That's why binge watching TV or surfing the net all day can leave a person tired and feelng hollow.

  • @sophiemarchesi7490
    @sophiemarchesi7490 2 місяці тому

    Hello Ana, thank you so much for your wonderful content. I wanted to buy your books but they do not ship to Europe. Do you plan on changing this at some point? Thank you, sending love

    • @AnaPsychology
      @AnaPsychology  2 місяці тому

      Thank you so much for the kind words and your interest in my books! They should be available in Europe, though I think sometimes they appear out of stock in some countries. Which country are you hoping to ship to? My novel should be available to order from Barnes & Noble too, though I’m not sure about the journaling workbooks

  • @paulrhyne4
    @paulrhyne4 3 місяці тому +1

    I agree Dr. Ana! ❤

  • @dakine4238
    @dakine4238 3 місяці тому +1

    Ana, you had a video on eating disorders what are your thoughts on "clean eating." It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty for eating.

    • @tymorales8333
      @tymorales8333 3 місяці тому +1

      im no pyschotherapist but i used to struggle with something similar, maybe research on something called "orthorexia?" good luck , ur fighting a tough battle but doing great :)

    • @dakine4238
      @dakine4238 3 місяці тому

      @@tymorales8333 thanks :)

  • @AlinkaKate
    @AlinkaKate 3 місяці тому +1

    6:43 Did you just make this up lol couldnt find anything about it

    • @AlinkaKate
      @AlinkaKate 3 місяці тому

      nvm i see u trying so hard to hide ur smile lolololl

  • @frogiwthoutahat
    @frogiwthoutahat 3 місяці тому

    hey Ana, I'm wondering if you could upload your videos as audio to Spotify? I like to listen on walks / on my commute, but it's tough to keep my browser open to the video in my pocket without UA-cam premium. and you might make some extra coin lol

  • @sarcasticwhale
    @sarcasticwhale 3 місяці тому

    I really liked this video, to the extent of coming back and taking notes on it! The practical advice combined with fun facts (negative two packs per day? Damn!) was excellent.

  • @anistristan1202
    @anistristan1202 3 місяці тому

    I'm gonna watch this

  • @nanomia
    @nanomia 3 місяці тому

    love LOVE this

  • @evergreenwu
    @evergreenwu 3 місяці тому

    Thank you Ana!!!

  • @RichieTTL
    @RichieTTL 3 місяці тому +3

    The Bible

    • @krembryle
      @krembryle 3 місяці тому +2

      Psalm 137:9 - “Happy is the one who seizes your infants / and dashes them against the rocks.”
      If you are a psychopath, yes.

    • @matjaz5684
      @matjaz5684 3 місяці тому +1

      No

    • @RichieTTL
      @RichieTTL 3 місяці тому

      Proverbs 16: 18-20
      Pride goeth before destruction, And an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud. He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: And whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.
      - some people will quote anything but the Bible

    • @RichieTTL
      @RichieTTL 3 місяці тому

      @@krembryle Read Psalm 137:1-9

    • @Joy-rg9qn
      @Joy-rg9qn 3 місяці тому

      Myself I am not really in favour of religion. Religion is not a solution for everyone and should never be imposed on others, since its something personal.