My Husband is a Cheater… Is My Marriage Worth Saving?

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  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
  • My Husband is a Cheater… Is My Marriage Worth Saving?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 486

  • @amandadean3948
    @amandadean3948 4 роки тому +702

    I’m so sorry dear. If he’s admitting to 3 women it’s probably been at LEAST 6.

    • @shakemiz
      @shakemiz 4 роки тому +7

      I don't know abou that. she knew about one. Why would he admit to the other two if he wanted to deceive her?. He would have said "Oops, first time". Makes no sense to admit to the other two if there were more.

    • @fhuber7507
      @fhuber7507 4 роки тому +58

      @@shakemiz He admitted to 3... then she found out he's going to hookers. There's more.

    • @amandadean3948
      @amandadean3948 4 роки тому +26

      Leaks and Leaks ...I think you may have missed the part about the hookers. You think he only did that once? If so I’ve got some beachfront property in Arizona I want to sale you...

    • @chasityeverett3668
      @chasityeverett3668 4 роки тому +8

      @Amanda Dean...🤣😂

    • @chasityeverett3668
      @chasityeverett3668 4 роки тому +5

      @Leaks and Leaks??!! C’mon now.. I think you missed some parts of that story.

  • @DaisyBerk2
    @DaisyBerk2 4 роки тому +456

    You can give him forgiveness AND not stay with him.

    • @Tomi_janet15
      @Tomi_janet15 3 роки тому +4

      Exactly

    • @topcheese2889
      @topcheese2889 3 роки тому +4

      I’m sure he’ll change...😂

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 2 роки тому +5

      And it's even easier to forgive someone when you get that space from them. Hard to forgive someone while they're there triggering your resentment

  • @LisaLisaCJ
    @LisaLisaCJ 3 роки тому +205

    As someone who found out their spouse was cheating with many people you will never be the same. I divorced and have ptsd from all of the lies and deceit. We were married 26 years. He didn’t think I would leave but I did

    • @Luxlat
      @Luxlat 3 роки тому +23

      Good for you

    • @Somegirl3602
      @Somegirl3602 3 роки тому +28

      I'm glad you left, they continue to miss behave because most women put up with it till the end. But it's totally unacceptable behavior.

    • @lesliemontagne6797
      @lesliemontagne6797 Рік тому +4

      Good for you, I wish you all the best. Gave that snake-man away!!

    • @vintagegirl68
      @vintagegirl68 Рік тому +5

      Please SugarBear take care of yourself! It's not right what happened to you. I am in the same boat the only way out is getting help for yourself, they did the crime, you have to take the time to heal. I hope you are doing okay, you are worth healing!

    • @mks9469
      @mks9469 8 місяців тому +1

      26 years….wow! I am so sorry. That would be tough.

  • @gelyc5407
    @gelyc5407 4 роки тому +124

    A man is supposed to love and protect his wife and children! Disgusting. She deserves better.

    • @Tomi_janet15
      @Tomi_janet15 3 роки тому +5

      Definitely

    • @lela888
      @lela888 11 місяців тому +1

      I agree! What a distrusting man!

  • @mdooms76
    @mdooms76 4 роки тому +167

    Is her husband calling into a show asking what he can do to save his marriage?? NO! He's staying because she's allowing him to get away with this. All his hooked money is about to go to child support....girl RUNNN!!!

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +11

      Exactttly! That’s the problem- he KNOWS he can get away with it. Seen it too many times!

    • @lonnierashid6812
      @lonnierashid6812 4 роки тому +2

      She’s not allowing him to do anything because... he has free will!!!

    • @josecalderon4879
      @josecalderon4879 3 роки тому

      Men will be men. We provide and where else in the animal kingdom do you see mammals practice solely monogamy.
      The man still comes home. He could’ve left much sooner, but he was still coming home.

    • @lela888
      @lela888 11 місяців тому +6

      @@josecalderon4879What a disgusting excuse! We aren’t lions living in a cave. Cheating is abuse to your partner. Period!

    • @birsancristina9278
      @birsancristina9278 6 місяців тому

      ​@@josecalderon4879 🤡

  • @geofferypmeyers
    @geofferypmeyers 4 роки тому +313

    I’d wager that there has been way more than 3 women. Girl please LEAVE, immediately.

    • @alvinmann7675
      @alvinmann7675 4 роки тому +1

      Agreed

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +7

      For sure. If they know they can get away with it once or even twice, they are most likely gonna do it again. Best to just focus on yourself and move on.

    • @carableu
      @carableu 3 роки тому +1

      Yup!

    • @impactajuvenile
      @impactajuvenile 3 роки тому +1

      Does this go for men in the same situation as well? Have been in a sexless marriage since 2011 and she has recently moved out with our two young children...???

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 3 роки тому +6

      What is the point of keeping yourselves and your children in a toxic environment? Everyone just ends up miserable. I’m sorry but I respectfully disagree. I grew up in a home with parents in a similar situation and they were terribly unhappy. For 36 years.
      It is extremely damaging to children to see this. I struggled with anxiety and depression for years. And had a very difficult time in school. and no, my marriage didn’t work out either.

  • @MyPasture
    @MyPasture 4 роки тому +345

    It’s not about giving him another chance, but giving yourself a chance! Please move on.

    • @brittanysellscars5528
      @brittanysellscars5528 4 роки тому +4

      YES. This comment.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +3

      Yes, she needs to focus on herself in this situation. Because in most cases if they get away with it once they can and will do it again!

    • @ms.newcomerteacher6554
      @ms.newcomerteacher6554 3 роки тому +4

      Love that! Give yourself a chance!

    • @LifeDIY
      @LifeDIY 3 роки тому +2

      Yes!

  • @lexiemaep7930
    @lexiemaep7930 3 роки тому +15

    Her husband doesn't want forgiveness, he wants permission to keep cheating.

  • @Srna2024
    @Srna2024 4 роки тому +177

    For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would cheat on the person that gave them children. My ex wife cheated and after a year it still feels like I’m stuck in a nightmare. I wanted to be married, I loved being married, I loved the person that I thought she was. When someone cheats everything goes out the door. It’s time to move on and heal. She sounds like a beautiful person and I hope she walks away from someone that doesn’t deserve her love.

    • @racpatrice
      @racpatrice 4 роки тому +16

      I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to find healing in your heart and hopefully in your marriage

    • @janettetimms8650
      @janettetimms8650 2 роки тому +2

      I hope you find someone deserving

    • @korab.23
      @korab.23 2 роки тому +2

      People like you give me hope. 💛

    • @reginasemenenko148
      @reginasemenenko148 2 роки тому

      @@korab.23 I hope things get better for you.

    • @madisonandthefarm
      @madisonandthefarm 7 місяців тому

      I’m sorry this happened🙏🏼

  • @reinaisabelle06
    @reinaisabelle06 4 роки тому +145

    I did my best to forgive and forget. Didn't work. Got a divorce. That worked. I'm the strongest I've ever been.

    • @ladypink3473
      @ladypink3473 4 роки тому +6

      Same.

    • @vickieclark5931
      @vickieclark5931 4 роки тому +1

      That's awesome.

    • @anitaknight3915
      @anitaknight3915 3 роки тому +9

      Good for you having the strength to move on. I pray you have the best years of happiness ahead of you

  • @brittanysellscars5528
    @brittanysellscars5528 4 роки тому +207

    She is not ready to hear the truth. Until she is ready to see her husband for who he really is, she will continue to get hurt. You can not change a man like that, he will change if he is ready. She shouldn't hang around. She will waste her life.

    • @Micheal以仁慈
      @Micheal以仁慈 4 роки тому +3

      Well said

    • @k.beeotch
      @k.beeotch 4 роки тому +9

      Been there and 💯💯💯💯 and now divorced.

    • @Cindy-by3ho
      @Cindy-by3ho 3 роки тому +13

      Once a cheater, always a cheater.

    • @kamarwashington
      @kamarwashington 3 роки тому +1

      Sounds like she’s being manipulated

  • @fhuber7507
    @fhuber7507 4 роки тому +267

    She's crushed... and doesn't want to give up on the marriage but knows she has to.

    • @Jane5720
      @Jane5720 3 роки тому +6

      Yeah, she knows

    • @budgiebirdy
      @budgiebirdy 3 роки тому +7

      She needs to, just for the sake of her health if nothing else. She can't trust him if he's sleeping around with prostitutes. I know if I were in that situation, that's enough for me to never want to sleep with him again. Marriage is over. Also, there's no maintaining your self respect by staying with this guy.

    • @Holaquetalcontigo
      @Holaquetalcontigo 3 роки тому +7

      @@budgiebirdy exactly. Not to mention that his infidelity places her overall health at risk. She could contract STD’s from him.

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 3 роки тому +1

      @@Holaquetalcontigo 🤮🤮🤮

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 3 роки тому +7

      @Heinrich Himmler With prostitutes??? Yuck

  • @RainWave13
    @RainWave13 3 роки тому +50

    I’ve watched a few of his videos on infidelity and I’ve noticed an interesting pattern in the comments. Whenever someone in the comments condemns the cheating husbands behaviour, there’s almost always a few men in the comments quick to defend him: “well you gotta look at both sides of the story maybe she wasn’t putting out or he didn’t feel like he got enough out of her” “well he said he won’t do it again” “well he said it was only 2 women and he’s trying to work for her forgiveness!”. Y’all. That kinda defending behaviour is disgusting and reflects poorly of your own character.

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому

      Those men be the same disgusting cheaters themselves who aren't loyal to their wives, who aren't loyal to their kids and choose to protect their family but instead destroy it for a piece of poonani who willingly have their legs opened to give and STD

    • @soul1380
      @soul1380 8 місяців тому +8

      They've probably cheated, too.

    • @matinaki1644
      @matinaki1644 3 місяці тому

      For me, the most disgusting ones are those saying "a man can love his wife and cheat, women cheat when they have found another man". The audacity. And the ignorance of how some selfish women operate. They were raised all women are fragile creatures born to serve and respect their husband while they get cheated on.

  • @rokeishiarodgers7205
    @rokeishiarodgers7205 4 роки тому +69

    I have a one and done policy. You cheat on me once, and we are done for good. My husband knows it, and he has the same policy for me lol

    • @KenyaYoung704
      @KenyaYoung704 4 роки тому +6

      Same girl!

    • @bres9977
      @bres9977 3 роки тому +11

      Yep, settled that while dating exclusively. We are both on the same page. “If you cheat on me, you’ll wish you never married me”.

  • @Annonymight
    @Annonymight Рік тому +33

    When Jessica said he said "it's progress" paying for a Sex Worker and not "doing anything" I almost passed out. Gaslighters and their narcissistic friends know who they're in relationship with and take full advantage of their "forgiving" partners. I'd have passed out laughing with that "progress" line....getoutofherefriend! No one has time for this.

    • @lynette599
      @lynette599 2 місяці тому +2

      Yes. Dr. Ramani, an expert on narcissism, says when you forgive a narcissist, they see it as permission to do it again.

    • @Silvermoonscorpion
      @Silvermoonscorpion 13 днів тому

      "Friend" is a lie.. but I get ya.

  • @ssebo8354
    @ssebo8354 4 роки тому +34

    He doesn't want this to work out, but he doesn't want to be the one who left. This is why he has been confessing. This is why she found out in the first place. He wants out.

    • @sarahmc8309
      @sarahmc8309 3 роки тому +8

      This is what happened to me when I found out my ex cheated
      He then told me that he didn’t want to be the one who left and wanted me to find out what hat he had done so I would leave ..it was soul destroying

  • @Holy_Athletics
    @Holy_Athletics 4 роки тому +111

    Once someone cheats, it's never the same. Ever, and the mistrust will be there for years. Walk away.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +13

      Yes this is the truth for a good friend of mine. The wife took him back but there has been a huge emotional disconnect ever since. On both ends. I don’t think she will ever fully trust him again and I don’t think their relationship will ever be the same. And sadly he knows he got away with it once... and will most likely do it again. unfortunately this is the case for the vast majority of these situations.

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 3 роки тому +10

      Every person that I know that stayed with a cheater got cheated on again. It’s not worth it

  • @k.embers
    @k.embers 4 роки тому +185

    In most cases, I’d advocate for the marriage, say that you should try to work it out, but if it’s REPEATED infidelity, it’s not likely to change. It doesn’t seem like he has any remorse for his actions. He’s already moved on. The kids deserve a better example of a healthy relationship and of a man with a strong moral compass. Praying for you, sister! 🙏🏻❤️

    • @ViajanteSemRoteiro
      @ViajanteSemRoteiro 4 роки тому +2

      Kids needs real dad and mom together strong. Another man will never replace the real father.

    • @vickieclark5931
      @vickieclark5931 4 роки тому +22

      @@ViajanteSemRoteiro It's better for her to be single than to be with a man that is cheating. That is definitely not good for the kids. Especially if there is a lot of fighting and stress in the home cause of the cheating. This girl probably should be single cause she does pick men very well. She need to take care of her kids and not worry about a lowlife that is cheating on her every time she turns around.

    • @anneshirley9560
      @anneshirley9560 4 роки тому +15

      Felipe Lima If she stays, the father is not teaching the kids to stay faithful in a marriage, and have good character. Unless he decides to change, it can bring more harm then good on both the mother, and the children.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +1

      You are absolutely right. When it becomes a pattern then that’s when it’s probably a situation beyond repair.

    • @anitaaustralia
      @anitaaustralia 3 роки тому +7

      NO WAY. NO excuses for cheating and definitely NO second chances

  • @Jane_1994
    @Jane_1994 4 роки тому +130

    The risk to her health this whole time has been unreal. Who knows what diseases this man could be carrying from these women, especially if he's participating in high-risk activities like seeing prostitutes. This is life or death and she doesn't get it.

  • @jimmyboy1582
    @jimmyboy1582 4 роки тому +79

    I remember a friend of mine told his wife that he only cheated with two women. I KNEW he cheated with with at least 20. She gotta let him go. He is definitely not gonna change.

    • @anitaknight3915
      @anitaknight3915 3 роки тому +9

      Yeahhhh when they actually admit the number than you know it's much higher but they are trying to look better lol

    • @terraalbritton6405
      @terraalbritton6405 2 роки тому +8

      I hope you told her. She could have gotten a life-threatening disease. You deserve a better friend.

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому

      😮

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому +4

      ​@Terra Albritton I personally would never be friends with a cheater if you could cheat on the person you're going home to and you can't be loyal to your kids and family you can't be trusted with anyone period

    • @jimmyboy1582
      @jimmyboy1582 Рік тому

      @@terraalbritton6405 nah. Not my place. I knew him not her.

  • @estyria5961
    @estyria5961 3 роки тому +29

    It is very important to recognize the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive someone, release that anger and hurt, and yet never speak to them again because the relationship cannot be reconciled.

  • @Xsilif
    @Xsilif 4 роки тому +31

    The fact that he admitted to being with 3 women shows a lack of respect towards her and that he knows she’s accepting his behavior. He’s going to keep cheating. Time for a divorce.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому

      Exactttly. If they know they can get away with it, they will keep doing it! This is what so many women fail to realize. They never address the root of the issue (cheating) and the relationship continues to suffer -and perpetuating the same cycle of dysfunction.

    • @Xsilif
      @Xsilif 4 роки тому +2

      slp2007 the root isn’t really the cheating. There’s a “why” behind it. Often the cheater will tell the other what’s wrong (before they cheat), and their partner will brush it off. Then that person cheats and the one that’s cheated on says they didn’t do anything wrong.

  • @Samihamcat
    @Samihamcat 4 роки тому +66

    Girl please leave him ❤️

    • @ViajanteSemRoteiro
      @ViajanteSemRoteiro 4 роки тому

      How about the kids?

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +13

      The kids are better off in a healthy safe environment where there’s not toxic behavior taking place.

    • @anitaaustralia
      @anitaaustralia 3 роки тому +4

      @@ViajanteSemRoteiro the kids are much better off without him!

    • @COINsimp2024
      @COINsimp2024 3 роки тому +6

      @@ViajanteSemRoteiro kids don't wanna watch dad cheat on mom.

  • @joesillamanrs7189
    @joesillamanrs7189 4 роки тому +56

    Drop him. Finding someone else will be tough but you’ll never trust your husband again.

    • @MrWololo90
      @MrWololo90 4 роки тому +4

      Very very tough, especially for her. No one wants thw baggage of a used up single mom.

    • @babatundeonabajo
      @babatundeonabajo 3 роки тому +7

      @crooked truth83: I wouldn't call a single mother, *especially* in this case where it's not her fault at all, "baggage". That's contrary to human dignity. BUT it is supremely true she will find it hard to find another man. That's just the fact of the matter. Even if she did find someone else, she would have to enter into a whole host of other issues like the safety of her children (it's well-established guys are much more likely to kill children who are not their own). When you are in a situation like this, you have to consider the prospect of being single as the safest and best option there is.

    • @emmarose6590
      @emmarose6590 3 роки тому +10

      @@MrWololo90 used up? You sound like your talking about an item not a person. Kinda gross

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому

      ​@Babatunde Onabajo true

  • @anafernandez7237
    @anafernandez7237 4 роки тому +46

    Run! And hire a good attorney...this man will ruin your and your children's lives!

  • @moxythepirate1281
    @moxythepirate1281 4 роки тому +48

    Male or female, doesn't matter, cheaters will never change. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.

  • @borgirvspitsah7329
    @borgirvspitsah7329 2 роки тому +7

    I've noticed in these cheating questions how men in the comments keep bashing the woman cheater, whereas when the man cheats the women in the comments are supportive towards the woman victim and not really comment anything about the guy

  • @rebeccaoprea9917
    @rebeccaoprea9917 3 роки тому +15

    Forgiveness and grace is for those that offend or use us , not husbands that cheat on us .

  • @owenb8636
    @owenb8636 4 роки тому +23

    Forgiveness shouldn't mean that people are free of consequences. People learn through consequences. I told my ex that I forgave her for cheating on me but I still don't talk to her anymore.

    • @tenshi.kurama
      @tenshi.kurama 3 роки тому +3

      The only being who forgives and forget is God himself. Not even his followers are expected follow the forget part

  • @mom4christ191
    @mom4christ191 4 роки тому +36

    Matt 7:6. Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

  • @korab.23
    @korab.23 2 роки тому +7

    People tend to confuse forgiveness and reconciliation.

  • @lizaw.7313
    @lizaw.7313 Рік тому +6

    If your husband isn't heartbroken and trying to find accountability somewhere for his behavior, he's done. Cheating is a decision, it doesn't depend whether "things are good" or not in the marriage.

  • @lilpinkbubbles6592
    @lilpinkbubbles6592 4 роки тому +98

    A man would not battle with this decision. He would divorce her. Let him go!

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому +24

      Yup! You are absolutely right. 90% of men are not going to tolerate infidelity of any kind. Don’t understand why so many women are so tolerant of it! My guess is just poor self-confidence..(they think they can’t find better).. And for family or financial reasons.

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому

      ​@@EadsB7002 I'd go with the latter

    • @Wewereneveryoung
      @Wewereneveryoung 5 місяців тому

      ​@@aprilchow-chee5281well jokes on her because it's not a real "family"

    • @secretsiren6769
      @secretsiren6769 4 місяці тому

      @@EadsB7002I stayed for my children. You’re either a single mom who won’t put up with that for her kids , or the mother who allows a man to disrespect her for the sake of her children. Kids don’t need to know what adult issues are going on. My children never saw us fighting…. Ever. I am the breadwinner BTW . I am working 24 hours so he can pawn off our children to his mom so he can go drink and cheat. My child never saw our battles. My ex husband learned that my silence is more dangerous

  • @Donna-C
    @Donna-C 4 роки тому +39

    I hope she reads up on Narcissism.
    Then trusts her own instincts.

  • @SamanthaBellerson
    @SamanthaBellerson 2 роки тому +6

    what I had to ask myself is- would I go insane and want to follow him around, expect him to show me his phone constantly and would I constantly worry he is. It just wouldn’t be a marriage worth saving for me anymore.

  • @Michelle.05
    @Michelle.05 4 роки тому +28

    Jessica, please know that there's a man out there that will treat you the way that you're supposed to be treated. Get rid of that zero and get yourself a hero! It's time to worry about your children and yourself. You will be just fine in time. All of this will make you stronger...

    • @Silvermoonscorpion
      @Silvermoonscorpion 13 днів тому

      Also, she doesn't need a man. They're nice to have around when they're decent but she doesn't need one. She needs to be there for herself and her kids first.

  • @brightlyart
    @brightlyart 4 роки тому +39

    Thank gosh for Dr. D telling it like it is. Denial is strong here and I don't think the reality has quite hit her yet. Sometimes you just have to plan an escape.

  • @spiritualservicesgodbless7641
    @spiritualservicesgodbless7641 3 роки тому +6

    I personally would NOT stay if I were her. The problem with cheating is that the person is NOT telling you the truth. I have NOT been cheated on, and I would NEVER cheated / NEVER Have cheated on any man. I would leave a man BEFORE it got so boring that I cheated

  • @BlessedBlended
    @BlessedBlended 3 роки тому +13

    She can do it though!!! It's possible to leave. I did leave a marriage where he cheated with two young kids. One of my children only being 7 weeks old. She can do it. It won't always be easy, but it's worth it!

  • @USA-GreedyMenOfNoIntegrity
    @USA-GreedyMenOfNoIntegrity 3 роки тому +19

    Congratulations...You’ve got yourself a serial cheater. Stop forgiving and enabling an unremorseful POS. Do not keep his shenanigans a secret. A good public outing is a warning to all single and married women in the community to steer clear and ensures his friends and relatives know that they hang out with a man of no integrity.

  • @mdooms76
    @mdooms76 4 роки тому +21

    Infidelity is a DEAL BREAKER. You can't forgive and give second chances to someone who is not sorry. He doesn't want her...move on! Why is she even asking if she should leave this bum...he's disgusting.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 3 роки тому +7

      It is truly astounding the number of women who are willing to stay in denial and/or put up with this sort of issue. We truly have a problem. We need to be able to be our own emotional support and be in a position to provide for ourselves in the event that marriage doesn’t work out.
      I think too many feel like they are doing the right thing by staying for the kids... but keeping children in a toxic environment with unhappy parents is extremely damaging and often doing more harm than good.

    • @secretsiren6769
      @secretsiren6769 4 місяці тому +1

      Honestly I stayed with my ex husband who cheated on me because I didn’t want to be a single mom. I am the breadwinner he depended on me financially. I filed for divorce when our child was turning 18. When someone asked why do you stay I replied for my children.

    • @matinaki1644
      @matinaki1644 3 місяці тому

      ​@@secretsiren6769 an acquaintance of ours did the same. It is only reasonable. However, my grandmother kept welcoming him back multiple times. She was obsessed. No self respect whatsoever. She had hysterectomy due to a serious infection caused most probably by him and his indiscretions.

  • @stephaniejimenez1794
    @stephaniejimenez1794 4 роки тому +24

    Its so hard to actually leave and be done especially when you have vested so much. But one day youll find someone who wont ever disrespect you. You are as precious as rubys remember that, self love is the best love.

  • @austinkatz1551
    @austinkatz1551 4 роки тому +31

    Her husband has major issues to tell his wife he's made progress, that is totally manipulative and probably a total lie.

  • @chrisrush3513
    @chrisrush3513 4 роки тому +27

    Cheating is a one strike, and you’re out policy. I couldn’t imagine even hugging or kissing my woman if she defiled herself to another man. It’d always be in the back of my mind.

    • @Ethiodawg
      @Ethiodawg 4 роки тому +2

      Totally! It’s gross

    • @disturbed4ever2
      @disturbed4ever2 4 роки тому +1

      But you wouldn't have A problem if they 'defiled themselves' with another man or multiple men before you were together?

    • @disturbed4ever2
      @disturbed4ever2 4 роки тому

      @crooked truth83 exactly, so why are they saying the person 'defiled themselves' when the exact same thing could have been done 1 week before the were together and it would be considered fair game?

    • @drwpsych
      @drwpsych 4 роки тому +2

      Nile because they weren’t married or together at that time.

    • @disturbed4ever2
      @disturbed4ever2 4 роки тому

      @@drwpsych I know that you complete and utter restard. Read again

  • @LL-lj1kq
    @LL-lj1kq 3 роки тому +26

    Before you get a disease from him like I did years ago. Just leave honey.

    • @Lala89856
      @Lala89856 3 роки тому +7

      Or like me, he gave me an STD while pregnant and he denied it🤣

  • @mariek.474
    @mariek.474 4 роки тому +72

    She needs to see the facts for what they are, regardless of what he *tells* her.

    • @ViajanteSemRoteiro
      @ViajanteSemRoteiro 4 роки тому

      Finally someone got it. She’s still have not clue why he did that. Nobody is perfect. It must be a reason for it... that both aren’t working together for a better relationship. It could be that romantic intimacy and love is lacking inside their bedroom.

    • @mariek.474
      @mariek.474 4 роки тому +7

      What you seem to think is frankly not what I meant AT ALL, you totally misread. What I mean is he's dishonest and lacks morals, he can tell her all he wants with his apologies but his actions showed who he truly is. It's frankly disgusting that you somehow excuse his cheating with prostitutes in the defense that their sensual life maybe was lacking ? even if so he's still a coward to have betrayed her trust like that (and risk her health possibly...) instead of talking to her directly about it. But I won't argue with you any further.

    • @ms-corleone
      @ms-corleone Рік тому +1

      @@ViajanteSemRoteiro what are you talking about? OP was saying that the cheater is in her ear and minimizing the crap he’s doing. If Jennifer’s husband is not getting his needs met he can ask her for a divorce or marriage counseling. Calling/emailing an escort is not the answer.

  • @rosaliapena9154
    @rosaliapena9154 3 роки тому +12

    Woman need to stop relying on someone to support them. It was easy for me to walk away from my cheating ex- husband because I had a well paying career and didn’t need him for anything. He never paid child support and I was able to take care of my child without financial support. Walk away and stay away.

  • @lamppole7896
    @lamppole7896 4 роки тому +26

    What great advice the Dr. gave! I hope Jessica will stay strong. It’s not easy but she needs to leave and don’t look back.

  • @ambertorres5358
    @ambertorres5358 2 роки тому +7

    I could never overlook that. I have the emotional management and maturity level to forgive and move past it but wouldn’t.
    Exclusivity is a core value of mine. And if he’s buying other woman that’s a morality issue (even worse if she was giving him sex).
    And if he didn’t even restore equity that’s just an extra slap on the face anyways (but even if the person did, I wouldn’t overlook it). Move on, find someone who respects you so you can model what a healthy marriage compromised of love and respect looks like.

  • @traetonmcglohon4563
    @traetonmcglohon4563 2 роки тому +5

    Definitely did not go deep enough on unpacking this. Responding emotionally to these types of situations can lead to even worst long term consequences.

  • @LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY
    @LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY 4 роки тому +15

    Dr. D this blew me AWAY!! I already liked you on the DR Show, and oh my lord did I just learn how great you are on your own as well!! You have a new subscriber, best of love to you and your family 💕

  • @whitneyw.7919
    @whitneyw.7919 4 роки тому +21

    This is why you should not rely on a man economically. That inequality in our society is really bad for women.

    • @erind2261
      @erind2261 4 роки тому +2

      I learned from the women in my village. Always keep some side $. If he's a good husband over the yrs, cool treat him to a nice gift.

    • @whitneyw.7919
      @whitneyw.7919 4 роки тому +7

      @@erind2261 Treat your husband well, but don't be stupid. Some women don't like to hear that just cause youre married and have kids doesn't mean you get to have a pass from being an adult. Always work in some capacity or at the very least keep up your job skills

    • @perotal
      @perotal 4 роки тому +1

      She would disembowel him in a divorce settlement, what are you talking about lol

    • @whitneyw.7919
      @whitneyw.7919 4 роки тому +5

      @@perotal Most men don't make amazing money... especially when split across 2 households. Also, you can't live off of child support (in 98% of cases) and alimony is not guaranteed. You can't always get it and you have to be married for like 10 yrs to even be eligible.

    • @x_270rr_s3
      @x_270rr_s3 4 роки тому +2

      Never relay on man. Earn money yourself. Get good paying job and listen Dave Ramsey. 1s, t Get lawyer. 2 nd, Take everything he has ever dreamed of having it . Everything! 3 rd,. Charge alimony.

  • @robertrudisill5777
    @robertrudisill5777 4 роки тому +17

    She should move on, clean him out, get max child support. Get with a women's group at a good church. From a man that's been on the receiving end of adultery. And you have to forgive him to move on and be right with God. Doesn't mean you stay there...

    • @perotal
      @perotal 4 роки тому +1

      "Clean him out"
      Nice christian values

    • @robertrudisill5777
      @robertrudisill5777 4 роки тому +19

      @@perotal he's the one cheating. You do the crime, you do the time. And it's about the kids, perotal, since he's out screwing around, sooner or later he'll get someone else pregnant. The government is not his babies' daddy. He is. So he pays up. She's supposed to sit there and be a doormat?!

    • @anitaknight3915
      @anitaknight3915 3 роки тому +5

      @@robertrudisill5777 this is refreshing coming from a male. I'm sorry this happen to you!! Hope you're doing well free now. Did you attempt to reconcile and stay or leave right after? I know some can be one affair or a remorseless pattern of behavior. I'd imagine the trust is ruined after.

    • @COINsimp2024
      @COINsimp2024 3 роки тому +7

      @@perotal Christian values definitely do not include cheating.

  • @machintelligence
    @machintelligence 4 роки тому +26

    Get a bulldog of a divorce attorney and make sure he can't skip out on child support (because he will certainly try.)

  • @geenal360
    @geenal360 4 роки тому +16

    I would talk to your parents- If you decided to leave him- I hope you do- I wouldn't tell him. Because some men- may fly of the handle and you find yourself in a battle for your life aNd the kids. First thing to face is that he does not love you- go from there.

  • @michaelmetler6315
    @michaelmetler6315 3 роки тому +4

    If you have a broken cup
    Don't try to glue it back together
    It will not be same and it will break in the same place.
    Do not put your hot liquid in it
    Replace it

  • @FireFortuna
    @FireFortuna 3 роки тому +5

    Thank you Dr John! I was furious when he had the cheek to say "PROGRESS!!" How dare he??!

  • @boots911
    @boots911 3 роки тому +7

    It's better for both of you if you leave him. He probably really regrets his actions, but it's not worth it. Catching him with one woman after 10 years might be forgivable, but him easily admitting to 3 means that it's most likely more than 3 and that it's something he might not be able to help.

  • @nmc1859
    @nmc1859 4 роки тому +15

    Doesn't every major religion proclaim infidelity is a valid reason for divorce ?? Actually THE only reason for divorce to be allowable? That tells me how serious this infraction is. To forgive it once issued a personal choice. Her situation is with someone who continually disrespects his wife and marriage in the worst way

    • @cpeacenlove
      @cpeacenlove 2 роки тому +3

      YES. The push to reconcile and work through infidelity is odd, given that it's grounds for divorce in most religions. There's a conflict in there somewhere 🤔 😏

    • @secretsiren6769
      @secretsiren6769 4 місяці тому

      Most religions say only the man can divorce.

  • @bmfsports2490
    @bmfsports2490 4 роки тому +16

    This is so hard , i have been there this is sickening

  • @caniggiaful
    @caniggiaful 4 роки тому +11

    Yeah, it sounds like it'll be an extremely bad idea to stay with the dude.
    Hope you move on and you stay strong and have a nice life afterwards!

  • @GodSaveTheClothes
    @GodSaveTheClothes 4 роки тому +5

    All you can do at this point is find safety for you and your children. Get healing for yourself. Seek out an S-anon group, a counselor that deals with spouses of cheaters, Redemptive living for women is a great resource as well.
    It’s not up to you to try and forgive and trust him again. It’s up to him to prove he is trustworthy and he has not shown that. I pray for you as I know the feeling. I found out my husband was cheating throughout our 7 year marriage. I was nursing a 9 month old and had a toddler. Brutal times...but so worth it to find healing for yourself. You can do this mama!

  • @rubyred8845
    @rubyred8845 4 роки тому +40

    run Jessica run

  • @sarahbelo8891
    @sarahbelo8891 2 роки тому +3

    Girl, get out while your kids are little and start a new life on your own with them. I did it and it was the best decision ever. People will help you, God will guide you. You can do it

  • @masonhock6442
    @masonhock6442 Рік тому +3

    Sunk cost fallacy definitely applies to relationships as well.

  • @Catseye189
    @Catseye189 6 місяців тому +1

    Since when does forgiving mean you have to let him do the same behaviors again and again? You can hold him accountable and walk away if his values do not match yours. It is okay to start a new chapter of you life!

  • @aimeelopezH2H
    @aimeelopezH2H 4 роки тому +11

    I pray she gets more support from church so she can be bold and be able to walk away and/or be wise to be strong enough to truly see progress

    • @tracemagace8434
      @tracemagace8434 3 роки тому

      Church may not be the place she can find that

  • @zandy0502
    @zandy0502 4 роки тому +7

    Love that you have our own show now!

  • @BusinessBox13
    @BusinessBox13 3 роки тому +2

    He’ll cheat again.
    Either decide to leave or to let him cheat in peace if you choose to stay.
    He’s doing it for his pleasure primarily, not to cause you pain. You shouldn’t stay, though. He will cheat again. 3+ times is habitual.

  • @noelmercado4514
    @noelmercado4514 4 роки тому +7

    Doctor D has his own show nicccce!! Congrats man!

  • @debbieanderson6740
    @debbieanderson6740 2 роки тому +1

    This man is continuously disrepecting you, your children and your marriage. Don't allow it. Be strong for your babies! God Bless!

  • @bsofar1675
    @bsofar1675 4 роки тому +3

    A family member broke trust in a serious way and I had to disassociate. For my own sake, I had to forgive, though forgiveness was never requested. Even if they had asked, it doesn't mean things just go back to normal. I think your new path will give you peace.

  • @priscillaboyce7322
    @priscillaboyce7322 2 роки тому +1

    I'm sorry to this lady. You deserve better sweetie, cheating is bad.. but it's even worse when they start paying for it. Starts to sound like an addiction. For your own mental and physical health, leave this man.

  • @annalaycastillo5840
    @annalaycastillo5840 4 роки тому +9

    Narcissistic abuse

  • @brandydejesus1675
    @brandydejesus1675 2 роки тому +3

    She sounds very emotionally beat up and tired. You need to leave and get your strength back because this man is killing your esteem and joy for life. I know. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, you are not a bad wife for leaving a cheater who does not care about you

  • @marcusarelius
    @marcusarelius 3 роки тому +2

    4:41 - 5:18.................Critically important and profound statement for anyone whose loyalty to another has been destroyed. Major props to Dr. John for mentioning this as I have to assume he has never been hurt in this manner but obviously has been educated on this type of hurt / response.

  • @mikemcallen2212
    @mikemcallen2212 3 роки тому +6

    Once my wife said that she doesn't see anything wrong with her hanging out with other guys then that's when I said that I'll divorce her if she cheats. She was taken back by it and asked why I was so big on this decision. Said that it's okay to have guy friends but if they meant that much to you then our marriage is in jeopardy. Needless to say that it wasn't resolved there and it took marriage counseling for her to understand that the cons of close guy friends are way more than the pros.

    • @secretsiren6769
      @secretsiren6769 4 місяці тому

      I have plenty of guy friends never cheated with any of them . I work as a first responder we all share a bunk room . The only thing I feel violated on is my nose from all the farts and the snoring to my ears! Do you not have that kind of self control you can’t be trusted with female friendships? I feel a little self reflection on to your wife….

  • @Thecraftyblacksheep
    @Thecraftyblacksheep 3 роки тому +4

    GET OUT !! Get out now! Before those babies understand what’s going on!
    Start a new life. Set the right example for those babies. I won’t lie. Being a single mother is hard but what I can tell you .... there is happiness on the other side. You will be exhausted but you will be able to sleep at night because you won’t have to worry about some dumb man doing you dirty. Praying she finds the strength to leave.

  • @michaelfarley1515
    @michaelfarley1515 4 роки тому +4

    Once a cheater, always a cheater! Run!

  • @BadMannerKorea
    @BadMannerKorea 4 роки тому +27

    She’s like defending her cheating husband lol.

    • @midlifecrisis7888
      @midlifecrisis7888 4 роки тому +1

      That’s a good woman

    • @edgywagy145
      @edgywagy145 4 роки тому +1

      @@midlifecrisis7888 A waste woman

    • @youngtimer964
      @youngtimer964 4 роки тому +14

      Trying to justify staying with him. She’s not ready to leave him yet but getting closer every day.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 3 роки тому +8

      So many women do this. It’s truly sad to see so many women this day a good age with such low self esteem or feel they have to put up with such for their kids. Not only are they poisoning their own spirit, but also showing their kids a miserable home life.

    • @slimjim1104
      @slimjim1104 3 роки тому +6

      Its called a trauma bond .... bro.... 0_o

  • @lynnhampton6269
    @lynnhampton6269 6 місяців тому +1

    I’m shocked! First time I’ve heard Dr. John not tell the betrayed spouse to suck it up.

  • @elizabetha8565
    @elizabetha8565 3 роки тому +5

    It's hard to figure out daycare ect... it's harder to live with this evil person not knowing what he is doing, he might be doing other things you'll never know.

  • @ScaryTimesWeLiveIn
    @ScaryTimesWeLiveIn 4 роки тому +5

    Jessica, u deserve BETTER!!! Leave him!!!!

  • @rum2664
    @rum2664 9 місяців тому

    Going through the same thing and I’m devastated. Family advising me to be more tolerant and stay for the kids is heartbreaking.

  • @evah787
    @evah787 3 роки тому +4

    Yes, a woman with children, can't just pack-up and leave!.... It is harder with children; they depend on you for EVERYTHING!

  • @drwpsych
    @drwpsych 4 роки тому +9

    She needs to leave as soon as possible. It will be a rough adjustment in the beginning given the fact that she is financially dependent and also has young children. On the other hand, she may decide to stick it out while she grows increasingly old and bitter until the kids graduate from high school and go off to college. I think in the long run she and ultimately the kids will be much happier if she leaves now. She needs to seek wise counsel and tread very carefully because leaving a marriage is a dangerous time, usually more so for the wife.

    • @jillpruett4772
      @jillpruett4772 4 роки тому +1

      It says a lot that I got a .380 autoloader instead of an engagement ring. We have been married for over 30 years and still haven't killed one another.

  • @bernieswim
    @bernieswim 4 роки тому +5

    Please look up Leslie Vernick! Her entire Christian counseling practice is about helping people in destructive marriages. She has really good books and videos, too.

    • @SherriLyle80s
      @SherriLyle80s 4 роки тому +5

      She needs a lawyer, not a book. And a STD test!

  • @CTRLd_Environment
    @CTRLd_Environment 4 роки тому +16

    Gaslighting

  • @Maya23452
    @Maya23452 4 роки тому +4

    I like his advice... usually they are just common sense stuff but he makes gives you something more

  • @jengable4888
    @jengable4888 3 роки тому +2

    Personally, after what I have been through, after the first time, I will not be able to trust ever again. However, what others may tolerate may be different. How can she ever trust him after cheating on her MULTIPLE times ? He should have never gotten married to begin with if he was too immature to control himself ! He placed her health in jeopardy when he decided to engage with multiple partners while still being sexually active with her ! I do not know his side or version of the situation, however, if what she is stating is 100% factual, then she and her children deserve better !

  • @adrianagomes3172
    @adrianagomes3172 Рік тому +1

    I dont get why cheaters just don't go off and be with cheaters themselves.. And leave those who aren't, alone..

  • @koreanplayboy
    @koreanplayboy 4 роки тому +3

    i have heard this so many times "yea.. everything was okay in the beginnin.." lol that's already a sign for tug and pull battle between spouses.

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 4 роки тому

      Yes in most cases cheating is simply a symptom of something bigger going on... Or something terribly missing from the relationship.

  • @curlyjess3337
    @curlyjess3337 4 роки тому +6

    Is there any women who have been through something similar and had a successful marriage afterwards??

    • @EadsB7002
      @EadsB7002 3 роки тому +7

      If there are, I don’t know of any. Most of the friends I have who went through infidelity of any kind never fully regained trust and it just led to continued controlling behaviors. Eventually one of the spouses ended up leaving because it was just too toxic.
      And yes, the man kept cheating. Even if he went back/stayed faithful for a time, he ended up acting out again months prior years down the road. Sorry, but I believe the odds are stacked way against repeated infidelities.

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 Рік тому

      Yes. When their husbands get old and die then the wives get to live the remaining of their little lives free from their stress with the house and kids all grown if you stay...if you leave its going to be harder but you get much more years of peace not dealing with their bs. That doesn't mean they won't make things difficult for you because they will

    • @secretsiren6769
      @secretsiren6769 4 місяці тому

      Yes most of the women who married in the 1950 and 40

  • @angelaonly7983
    @angelaonly7983 2 роки тому +3

    I needed to hear this, thank you!

  • @evearcana2392
    @evearcana2392 2 роки тому +1

    Would love to hear an update on these two since it’s been over 2 years since this call Dr. John

  • @donnaben7036
    @donnaben7036 3 роки тому +2

    Ugh! She needs to pack it in and move on. My ex had an affair 3 weeks after our marriage and we went for counseling but he stated he didn't. After the third time thats when I ended it. He wanted to make it work because I was guaranteed income. I said BBYE. It hit me hard but guess what? I survived and doing amazing.

  • @consumerdebtchitchat
    @consumerdebtchitchat 4 роки тому +2

    Trust the behavior ... not the words.

  • @Cesar-pq2ck
    @Cesar-pq2ck 3 роки тому +4

    Dude is a pig. She can find a good man eventually.
    She doesn’t understand what forgiveness is.

  • @elizabethlangheim7214
    @elizabethlangheim7214 3 роки тому +1

    Liars lie and Cheaters cheat. Get a good Lawyer...he needs to pay child support.

  • @rainbowpandasays8851
    @rainbowpandasays8851 3 роки тому +3

    Realistically,She probably doesn’t work and he’s the main bread winner, that’s why she’s even contemplating staying with him. She needs a plan , find a job and childcare to care for the 1 year old kid while she’s at work- right now with Covid it’ll be hard to leave or even stay in the place where she lives. I’m saying stay until she finds these things- hard when you have young kids and no where to go. 🤷‍♀️ Definitely leave eventually.