Unrealistic Expectations Are Destroying The Dating Market

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  • Опубліковано 30 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,5 тис.

  • @Hawtload
    @Hawtload 2 роки тому +568

    men's expectations:
    1. be loyal
    2. be cute
    3. don't create problems
    no wonder we're all gonna end up single

    • @Watchmaker_Gereon-Schloesser
      @Watchmaker_Gereon-Schloesser 2 роки тому +17

      great comment!

    • @JuhoSuomi9571
      @JuhoSuomi9571 2 роки тому

      Exactly, in other words, less than a 7 crazy and above an 8 hot on the universal crazy-hot matrix, conceived by the venerable Sir Dr. Dana C Mclendon III MD, PhD, JD, MBA, MS, FRS, OBE.

    • @jasonellis8751
      @jasonellis8751 Рік тому +11

      Preach!

    • @welza001
      @welza001 Рік тому +3

      1. What is your version of loyalty? Because if it's you get to dictate who that person is friends with it's probably problematic.
      2. Sounds like you value looks over personality?
      3. Do you ever wonder if you might be the problem? Do you ever wonder If the fact that the second most important trait to you is whether or not your partner is cute might indicate that you have some problematic views when it comes to relationships?
      4. Have you tried therapy?

    • @caboosemobile
      @caboosemobile Рік тому +29

      @@welza001 by loyal I would assume anyone would mean that they don't want them to cheat.
      By cute I would imagine they would want someone they find attractive, both physically and in personality. Cute doesn't just describe physical traits. And I'm fairly certain none of us want drama. I fail to see how you blew a gasket over this.

  • @johndougall3743
    @johndougall3743 2 роки тому +780

    For all the women with crazy-high expectations, the obvious question is, “Assume you meet the guy of your dreams, who meets all of your criteria, why do you think that such a high value guy would settle for you?”

    • @katobytes
      @katobytes 2 роки тому +45

      Because they will! Chad and Tyrone will absolutely date down to be with your looksmatch

    • @noinfoherebro
      @noinfoherebro 2 роки тому +131

      What's funny is that these men NEVER settle. Every time I talk to a female acquaintance it's the same story. " Me and this guy are getting serious". We have been talking for a while". Then months pass by and she's still single lol. These hvm or highly desirable men are simply leading the women on. Sleeping with them here and there and not committing.

    • @levibondjr4650
      @levibondjr4650 2 роки тому +14

      @@noinfoherebro Correct. They really do.

    • @williamheinsinger7390
      @williamheinsinger7390 2 роки тому +2

      Boom 💥

    • @Conquerer.D.K
      @Conquerer.D.K 2 роки тому +36

      This is the part where the glitch begins. They dont know how to answer to that because they have nothing to offer really

  • @deckardcain8507
    @deckardcain8507 2 роки тому +1221

    She is one of the very few people who genuinely want to bring men and women together rather than divide them like I see in so many channels.

    • @NateMorAqu91
      @NateMorAqu91 2 роки тому +15

      So true

    • @ImBrockatron
      @ImBrockatron 2 роки тому +17

      if truth divides then who is it that really divides? we have to blame and fix the root problems not the messengers.

    • @PatrickGotHands
      @PatrickGotHands 2 роки тому +24

      She dating a chad so debatable

    • @italkgory99
      @italkgory99 2 роки тому

      @@PatrickGotHands she deserves a chad though.

    • @moisesjimenez4391
      @moisesjimenez4391 2 роки тому

      @@PatrickGotHands you’re miserable

  • @theresaherman
    @theresaherman 2 роки тому +711

    Old man here. I retired at age 60, after 37 years as a licensed pharmacist. Yes, I made 100k salary, but it wasn’t until I was 48, and put in 25 years in my profession. The year was 2007. I just can’t believe the total lack of perception of these woman, simply unbelievable. I suppose these girls can keep their standards, but they are going to find out the hard way that no one will be able to fill those dreams. Men, protect yourself at all times.

    • @apan990
      @apan990 2 роки тому +15

      i must ask as someone in their early 20's, have women (for the most part) always had these high expectations back in the day? or is this some new phenomenon that only recently arose in today's dating culture? also was dating even a thing or were couples more inclined to take part in courting as opposed to the modern day dating?
      its obvious to everyone there are clear issues with both men and women in today's dating scene, but im curious to know if this was always the case or is it something new and recent.

    • @jwarrior9986
      @jwarrior9986 2 роки тому +1

      @@apan990 The 6-6-6 thing is recent (6 figures, 6 feet tall, 6 pack abs). Women in the 90's or even early 2000's weren't like that. Now they are just completely delusional. Granted that the older women have adapted to become just as delusional. I've seen 40 year old women with these crazy standards. My honest feeling is that hubris is destroying women and God is allowing it because they are openly rebellious against him. The wicked tree bears no fruit. This is why we can't even define a woman anymore. Until our society holds women accountable, they will only continue to get worse. We are going to have a lot of old cat ladies who blame the world for their own actions.
      I'd say men are also, but the reality is most men aren't even allowed in the dating market because they aren't rich enough or tall enough. 50% of men won't even approach women anymore. The majority of men are single and childless. There is a ton of men who have completely checked out and have walked away from women altogether. Tell me why it would be their fault? I hear people claim it is because men demand perfect 10's, but these guys think 6's and 7's would turn them away. Why on Earth would you think it is because men are being too choosy?

    • @pain002
      @pain002 2 роки тому +2

      what the guy above me asked --^

    • @apan990
      @apan990 2 роки тому +5

      @@jwarrior9986 i see, i figured it was a more recent thing but never really looked into it much, its a shame really that its come to that. i agree also with your second paragraph, more and more men are slowly turning away from women, and neither seeking quick one night stands nor a long term relationship, theyve just given up and its truly sad to see. and honestly i dont blame them, especially in places like the USA where any woman you meet could eventually falsely accuse you of being some predator, and GET AWAY with it, something that blows my mind how thats even possible.
      but there is a small group of men, like myself who look for long term relationships, some successful, some not, personally i believe a form of courting is best, and is what me and one girl did until uni separated us and we didnt want a LDR, and if im being honest, she isnt a sex bomb by any means, and have seen her interacted with other men and get dismissed alot, but for me shes perfect and we instantly clicked. so i agree that good men arent looking for a 10, but rather someone whos loyal, honest and emotionally stable first off, with looks being an added bonus.
      because men are simple beings, if a woman presents herself nicely, is honest, loyal, and 'wifey material' for a lack of a better term, shed have NO problem finding a good man that will treat her right. its just both men and more so women, as you said, expect guys to be perfect in every way, when such a man like that doesnt exist at all, only in romcoms, books, and in the imaginations of women.

    • @superfan7052
      @superfan7052 2 роки тому +11

      Protect yourself at all times. We men ain't we!

  • @timsmith8506
    @timsmith8506 2 роки тому +709

    My dad was a carpenter. He always kept a roof over our head and worked his a** off. He couldn't buy my mother Mercedes and LV purses, but he made sure we had great medical insurance, access to the best schools. He never stepped out on my mom and you knew if you were in trouble you could absolutely 1 million percent count on him to help in any way he could.
    The man never made $100,000.00 per year, but 99% of men could not fill his shoes.
    It warmed my heart to hear you talk about your dad and his value as a man and partner being judged on more than just his income.
    It seems today that so many people have these expectations that are just very disconnected from reality.

    • @marks2997
      @marks2997 2 роки тому

      Your post is really weird. You build up your dad and use that as a cover to trash other men (for no discernible reason). That approach suggests you either feel inferior to him or you are a misandrist. Bizarre.

    • @zachariahsmith9130
      @zachariahsmith9130 2 роки тому +27

      @@marks2997 i dont get that sense at all

    • @UnbeatableAndy
      @UnbeatableAndy 2 роки тому +18

      @@marks2997 I think you just misinterpreted the post

    • @iHipHopVEVO
      @iHipHopVEVO 2 роки тому +13

      @@marks2997 huh? You good bro?

    • @SexehPvP
      @SexehPvP 2 роки тому +8

      @@marks2997 bro what

  • @LatimusChadimus
    @LatimusChadimus 2 роки тому +1008

    Not just the expectations but the fact that they don't correlate how competition plays into this because if 80% of women want 3% of men or are willing to deal with 20% of men, and our population is about 50/50, do they not see why they are being shared but not committed to?

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +412

      I think a lot of them don’t realize this truthfully

    • @LatimusChadimus
      @LatimusChadimus 2 роки тому +118

      @@CourtneyRyan if only we could get them to unplug from the current "metaverse" (social deception media)

    • @ThenameisOskar
      @ThenameisOskar 2 роки тому +104

      Crazy cat ladies in the making

    • @LatimusChadimus
      @LatimusChadimus 2 роки тому +24

      @@ThenameisOskar 🐱 🍷 🐱

    • @jamesbondinspector
      @jamesbondinspector 2 роки тому +42

      You are a rare gem Courtney! Love your channel. Thank you for all you do.

  • @cephtheobserver
    @cephtheobserver 2 роки тому +640

    5yrs ago an agemate(30) and single mum told me she couldn't date someone in my level (store manager) because i couldn't afford her lifestyle. Best part was she was making a third of my income. It was hilarious af.

    • @user-yw9ys3dz7x
      @user-yw9ys3dz7x 2 роки тому +60

      yeah a lot of women dont actually know the value of money. They think a sexy or interesting job always makes a lot of money and the store manager or even landscaping make little.

    • @kunumercy1798
      @kunumercy1798 2 роки тому +11

      But store manager is a great job I mean you are earning alot sometimes we women don't know what's good and what's nad

    • @umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731
      @umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731 2 роки тому +60

      Why would you date a single mother?
      Why tf would any man want to play another man's saved game?

    • @arthurpendragon8192
      @arthurpendragon8192 2 роки тому +24

      @@umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731 especially it usually contains bugs and glitches.

    • @abolisher
      @abolisher 2 роки тому +3

      @@umbrellacorporationwuhanfa3731 🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  • @voidandnon-2530
    @voidandnon-2530 2 роки тому +160

    As a man who has felt dehumanized and reduced to what I can provide to someone else, this hit hard. The way you talked about your father, knowing him as a human, and then knowing how he would be treated in todays dating market really bridged the two worlds. As a man who has been dating for the last year, I found this video to hit the nail on the head on just about every aspect.

    • @KenTeel
      @KenTeel 2 роки тому +20

      Yes, it's kind of a rude awakening, when you realize that lots of women use their "prize possession" as a business bargaining tool, then turn around and talk about love. "Love" is actually a business transaction for many women. They are in the business of love. They even sing about "love."

    • @Watchmaker_Gereon-Schloesser
      @Watchmaker_Gereon-Schloesser 2 роки тому +9

      @@KenTeel Sirens (sea monsters) sing also.... xD

    • @supersaiyanzero386
      @supersaiyanzero386 2 роки тому +7

      The word market needs to be removed entirely from dating. It is dehumanizing.

    • @577jrock
      @577jrock Рік тому

      her father probably wouldn't have reproduced in today's dating market. Unless he happened to be in the top 5-10%

    • @pandemicneetbux2110
      @pandemicneetbux2110 Рік тому

      Maybe that factors in to why Courtney Ryan is largely a reasonable, empathetic human being? I don't actually know how many of these girls got raised in single households or by moms that dated. I keep forgetting the fact I am part of the half the country that had both parents, and that this is not even super common anymore. I'm guessing of those, a lot of dads then set a bad example in these marriages too, or their moms did, given the way these girls feel like they can act and treat others. Looking at the way entitled people act in colleges these days is exemplary.

  • @jdk5281
    @jdk5281 2 роки тому +529

    I'm married, but I did the online dating thing years ago and it was pretty staggering what women were expecting. The amount of women with part time jobs and kids from previous marriages or relationships that had these super high standards of like $100,000+, 6'+, fit, no kids, good job, and so on.

    • @somerandomguyfromtheintern480
      @somerandomguyfromtheintern480 2 роки тому

      Any man that meets those expectations and goes with those sorts are morons. And I know of.....1 I guess. Most men know better or are wising up.

    • @jfigirova
      @jfigirova 2 роки тому +79

      Exactly.. that’s why men need to be confident, secure, have standards and stop being so needy. It’s not wrong to have standards. My rule for dating, No kids, not previously married, and no crazy ex’s. Men need to stop operating from a position of scarcity and operate with a mindset of plenty. Dating life is great when you stick to your standards.

    • @longbeach225
      @longbeach225 2 роки тому +50

      @@jfigirova And low body count!

    • @abolisher
      @abolisher 2 роки тому +3

      😂😂😂🤣🤣

    • @calebray4168
      @calebray4168 2 роки тому

      That’s the thing. Most of that shit is online. I cannot imagine letting womens delusions fly in person but then again there are a lot of pussies out there who won’t set a woman straight if she’s trippin.

  • @user-ee1fn4vt8b
    @user-ee1fn4vt8b 2 роки тому +273

    This amount of self-awareness and level-headedness is rare in a person, let alone a UA-cam content creator. Props to Courtney for being a voice of reason in an ocean of internet bullshit and skewed perceptions.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +34

      🥺🫶🏼 thank you so much for your kind words!

    • @ctguitarguy8510
      @ctguitarguy8510 2 роки тому

      It's rare amongst women, not men. Because men *have* to develop themselves and understand the opposite sex to have a chance. Women do not. They merely exist and are catered too. Women, if they ever mature, only do so after they can mo longer leverage their beauty and are forced to become more.

    • @robertmartin1807
      @robertmartin1807 2 роки тому +5

      I agree, and well said. Courtney is wonderful to listen to.

  • @davidburns6284
    @davidburns6284 2 роки тому +428

    Great video. I quit dating 8 years ago. I'm 51 now and make about 60K and I'm tall, but just average looking. It became clear I didn't check enough boxes. Things have gotten much worse for younger people dating now. I'm happy to be done with it. I have all the money I need, pay all my bills and rent (I live in a nice apartment complex) and I have total freedom to do what I want when I want with no drama or BS to deal with from anyone. I realize I will always be alone, but I have accepted that completely.

    • @MyNameIsNotCraig
      @MyNameIsNotCraig 2 роки тому +42

      You might not be alone forever man, just keep your mind open but lead with 0 expectations and don't look for it. The right woman might come along when you least expect it and change everything for the better.

    • @baldeagle4710
      @baldeagle4710 2 роки тому +49

      I also quit dating and I’m more happy than ever! Not chasing women helps your mental health a lot. It also grows your bank account. These narcissists aren’t worth the trouble

    • @ivanvarykino8202
      @ivanvarykino8202 2 роки тому +29

      Dude, now is when you'll most likely have that encounter. No need to try hard. But don't isolate yourself. I became widowed at 57 and do not want to be alone for the rest of the ride. You're young. Follow your passions, but don't turn bitter like those colored pill idiots. That's nothing but a creepy brony victimization club. All the best to you!

    • @mad-designsgaming1577
      @mad-designsgaming1577 2 роки тому +3

      You will find a good one.. its very rare but they are out there. And when you get it. Make sure to treat her right

    • @mentoriii3475
      @mentoriii3475 2 роки тому +39

      Im 30, tall, good body, handsome and earn 100k, the women i want around 23years old are not interested in getting married because they are young and get lots of attention, and i get a lot of attention from women around my age because they are done playing games and monkey branching from one man to another and now want to settle, but guess what, those same women would not give me a chance when they were 23, its very hard to find a wife nowadays, you either get damaged women and old women or none at all, id rather not get married than wife up those

  • @bambino100011
    @bambino100011 2 роки тому +95

    The influence of Social Media has brainwashed many of these young women to "believe" that success is just money, looks, and what's "trendy.." Our society, in general, has become narcissistic.

    • @frankculaga5169
      @frankculaga5169 Рік тому +6

      No shit. The world's just full of gold diggers now.

    • @benster5
      @benster5 Рік тому +2

      And they wonder why we're always pissed and frustrated.

    • @TravisAndrews-lb1kk
      @TravisAndrews-lb1kk Рік тому

      Yes they have

    • @taras3702
      @taras3702 2 місяці тому

      To think they wonder why a growing cohort of young men don't give a shit anymore, OR they are going hard to the right politically, why they hate feminism and detest dating. 😂😂😂

  • @xF1revolution
    @xF1revolution 2 роки тому +135

    My ex of many years eventually revealed she expected me to make 100k per year as a floor. I was 23 and fresh out of college with a B.A. Learned that she cheated on me twice with two guys who were conveniently engineers, or at least studying to be. Found out and she used the excuse of, and I quote, "my life is better than yours". She said this as someone who worked part time and spent the rest of her time smoking weed and watching a ton of UA-cam. I was working a full 40 hour schedule and still was attending a coding bootcamp part time, bettering myself, while she took advantage of that absence to go see this other dude. Hard to place trust in anyone, it's crazy out there.

    • @davidburns6284
      @davidburns6284 2 роки тому +10

      I hear you. I no longer date at all and keep to myself. I'm much happier that way. Life is too short. Find things in life you really enjoy, besides women, and focus on those things. It sounds like someone like you will eventually find what you are looking for while you immerse yourself in other personal pursuits.

    • @fotis3v480
      @fotis3v480 2 роки тому

      Hope you learned to never trust a woman like every real man should.

    • @dipro001
      @dipro001 2 роки тому +3

      @@Splatterpunk_OldNewYork Exactly.

    • @bubbatheg
      @bubbatheg 2 роки тому +3

      Well done, work on yourself. Hard to trust anyone these days but yourself.

    • @sidohofman6835
      @sidohofman6835 2 роки тому

      I’m sorry for the BS you’ve been through with this retardet girl. She seems to be a horrible c u n t. These type of women are not suitable and trustworthy as partners. The streets can have her.

  • @smcdoug11
    @smcdoug11 2 роки тому +518

    You're doing an excellent job creating content that provokes high quality thought to help heal the issues and misunderstandings between men and women. Thank you for everything you do Courtney!

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +43

      Thank you for being here and for being kind 🥹

    • @SirMountainpass
      @SirMountainpass 2 роки тому +8

      I absolutely support your point of view, this was one of Courtney’s best videos 😊👍

    • @curiousgeorge5311
      @curiousgeorge5311 2 роки тому

      🤓🤓

    • @curiousgeorge5311
      @curiousgeorge5311 2 роки тому +2

      Someone can’t pull

    • @enioveiga2439
      @enioveiga2439 2 роки тому +3

      Why conscientious women never came together, to fight the wicked and unequal laws, which were created to harm men by exempting women from responsibility.?

  • @donaldhackler5242
    @donaldhackler5242 2 роки тому +199

    I appreciate your comments. I have represented women in divorces who were divorcing their husbands because they had not met some unrealistic expectations (salary, looks, etc) and yet they believed that the high expectations should only apply to their husbands and not themselves.

    • @kensmith2796
      @kensmith2796 2 роки тому +36

      I knew a woman several years ago who was divorcing husband #2 to marry husband #3. She even mentioned she had no reason to divorce #2 and didn't know why she was doing it since he was a perfect husband and father other than she wanted excitement in her life. She dragged out the lawsuit for 5 years making insane financial demands. Her own attorney even had to go off on her and told her he wasn't going to bankrupt her husband and destroy his business just to meet her unrealistic demands.

    • @gregmason8150
      @gregmason8150 2 роки тому +11

      You are spot on. Nnot holding themselves accountable for anything.

    • @TomAnderson_81
      @TomAnderson_81 2 роки тому +13

      @@kensmith2796 Incredible

    • @jason101386
      @jason101386 2 роки тому +1

      mind divulging how those exact kinda divorces turn out sir? with holding personal IDing info of course.

    • @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner
      @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 2 роки тому +4

      Wow this is crazy! I didn’t know it was this bad for men

  • @MarkTrueblood
    @MarkTrueblood 2 роки тому +81

    I’m middle-aged, and it’s hard to overstate how dramatically social media altered people’s perceptions about social realities. The thing is, they can see all the statistics about height, looks, income, etc. but because they’re following a few dudes and gals on the socials who are at the top, it makes those people’s lifestyles seem within reach and “normal.” Plus, some of the big ballers in social media are in debt and nearly all of them are only sharing the “good” parts of their lives. Highly curated.

  • @Pssst.ByTheWay
    @Pssst.ByTheWay 2 роки тому +252

    Damn I actually have a lot of respect for what you said in this video
    Your compassion for the male side of things you’re accepting of accountability that you could do better and that you are committed to doing better
    Your willingness to share your humble beginnings
    That you’re not just cheerleading these women on
    Damn mad respect to you

    • @Pssst.ByTheWay
      @Pssst.ByTheWay 2 роки тому +3

      Fork i might just have to sub!

    • @davacanava
      @davacanava 2 роки тому +4

      I agree

    • @edwardo19231
      @edwardo19231 2 роки тому

      @DANIEL CHUKWUKERE someone needs a hug

    • @TheNebulon
      @TheNebulon 2 роки тому +2

      Don't forget to simp and subscribe

    • @Pssst.ByTheWay
      @Pssst.ByTheWay 2 роки тому +1

      @@TheNebulon i know right. Usually im trolling the Manosphere female creators comment section coz they are so icky sticky keyboard seempy
      That why i was super supprised. I was like damn ok. This message is actually taking a bit or accountability.
      I am well aware that she talks the talk but probably doesnt walk the walk. If i recall her hubby sells super exclusive watches and is probably a millionaire… but when they met apparently he wasnt.
      Either way the words are good. And they arw factually correct
      Its a bit of a philosophical problem. Can someone who doesnt walk the walk, proclaim to proclaim the talk? Can you only preach or teach what you live and breath? Can a creationist teacher , teach evolution?
      Its a right pickle
      My gut tells me you can. But my mind isnt made up

  • @lindokuhleshandu4024
    @lindokuhleshandu4024 2 роки тому +145

    This is the healthiest men's dating life channel I've come across thus far. Most of what I see here is nothing but facts, and it's so refreshing to have a young woman in this day and age having such a healthy and profound outlook not just in the dating world, but in life. Courtney is an emotionally stable, intelligent and healthy human being, unlike many of her self-entitled peers out there. Says me, a 25-year old dude.

    • @TravisAndrews-lb1kk
      @TravisAndrews-lb1kk Рік тому +1

      Facts

    • @pandemicneetbux2110
      @pandemicneetbux2110 Рік тому +1

      She's rare, unfortunately. Emilywking or however, is also a reasonable person and she has kind eyes, idk that woman is married and kinda shocked she isn't. Many times, the women I see have cold, cruel, venomous eyes. As a man it's literally the first thing I am looking for, is the eyes. Like I had a coworker who thankfully left who had those same eyes as ua-cam.com/users/shortsGNsE4rJfmt4 Half the time I see eyes like a generation of serpents, depending which crowd. So there's really only a minority of Americans at this point even bothering to find an exodus out of the mainline decaying culture. The center is too dominated by people with NPD, ASPD, and other personality disorders. Im planning on mostly quitting the internet later this summer and using my time to read, since the shitty people all eventually went to the internet I was using to escape, so since they're now on here I am going back out into the world where they are not to escape them again. I hope they don't find me out there. Maybe I can learn a new camoflage.

    • @TravisAndrews-lb1kk
      @TravisAndrews-lb1kk Рік тому

      @@pandemicneetbux2110 same her

  • @gregreesman
    @gregreesman 2 роки тому +405

    I appreciate where your heart is in these videos; genuinely attempting to bring men and women together, not being a “men vs. women” type channel that plagues our generation (24 y/o). It’s refreshing to see someone with influence who’s truly in touch with reality and wants the best for everyone.

    • @DTreatz
      @DTreatz 2 роки тому

      stop simping, it's always been men vs. women, when men became weak and decided to give them freedom, it's just in female's nature to bring chaos to society

    • @gregreesman
      @gregreesman 2 роки тому

      @@DTreatz you swallowed too many red pills

    • @DTreatz
      @DTreatz 2 роки тому

      @Ed Findlay Facts, the good ol _chameleon_ trap, make the reds who are still on the fence smoking hopium believe you're 'different' playing the long con.

    • @nickniehaus1763
      @nickniehaus1763 2 роки тому

      Exactly. This problem is a problem for both, regardless of when it rears its ugly head.

    • @nickniehaus1763
      @nickniehaus1763 2 роки тому +2

      @Ed Findlay Think on the flipside though, how can she afford to make this video if it werent her job? You can’t just make this high quality of the video spend this much time while also having a job you have to work at 9 to 5 in order to make a living.

  • @HawaiianKong
    @HawaiianKong 2 роки тому +120

    My ex-gf is a regional manager, and I know she made more than me, but I'm still an engineer with a $100k job with room for growth in the near future. I told her earlier this year that if we wanted to take the next step in moving in together, that I was going to need to cut back on all the little trips we were going on and going out with her friends pretty much every weekend, and of course I was paying for mostly everything.
    She blew up on me, saying "So I'm going to have to give up my whole lifestyle for you?!" Soon she started being argumentative over every little thing and eventually dumped me saying that she didn't feel we were growing together. I was able to rebound quickly with a much younger, much more attractive, and most importantly, much more giving and feminine woman. From what I understand, she rebounded as well with a guy who has a cat named after a pokemon (she told me she hated cats, and for a girl who loved pitbulls this was pretty funny). We're both in our late 30's. I miss her in some aspects, but man I seriously dodged a bullet.

  • @ImGerald
    @ImGerald 2 роки тому +144

    It's sad as hell to know that there's grown azz men and women living in a damn fantasy world because of what they see on social media from celebrities. If somebody wants their soulmate to make $400K a year, they deserve to be single!

    • @willhull7713
      @willhull7713 2 роки тому +13

      its not MEN who live in a fantasy of finding a partner that makes that much, just as its not MEN whose standards are unrealistically high, but Courtney keeps saying PEOPLE have unrealistic standards.

    • @andreibalaban3643
      @andreibalaban3643 2 роки тому +9

      @@willhull7713 one could joke that in the modern dating scene any man expecting to find a woman is living in a fantasy world

    • @willhull7713
      @willhull7713 2 роки тому +1

      @@andreibalaban3643 Touche

    • @timgibney5590
      @timgibney5590 2 роки тому +7

      Problem is dating apps introduce men of that caliber who sleep with over 100 women a year. Once she sleeps with one she is alpha imprinted and every dude MUST meet that standard from that one night

    • @ericlind6581
      @ericlind6581 2 роки тому +2

      @@timgibney5590 Guys can get imprinted too. When your first girlfriend is really attractive and thin, you can’t settle for average chicks thereafter.

  • @cawashka
    @cawashka 2 роки тому +74

    I’m 25 and studying. Sick of enduring humiliation and shame. Just staying single now and concentrating on myself. I really don’t care anymore. This world is sad and cold.

    • @devilswin09
      @devilswin09 Рік тому +13

      You will win in the end.....life is not a sprint, it is a long slow jog. Keep building wealth and concentrate on yourself. 10 years down the road, you will see the now woman of your dreams with three brat kids eating out of a Kentucky Fried Chicken dumpster and she has a gut bigger than Andre the Giant.....

    • @raresongs3788
      @raresongs3788 Рік тому +4

      It's totally fine to not caring 'bout this world, cuz we all r gonna die - and in the end nothing really matters

    • @jerrycharmaine2173
      @jerrycharmaine2173 Рік тому +1

      Maybe it's just not your time... or maybe you future wife lives in another region? Stay strong my friend

    • @sanitary103
      @sanitary103 11 місяців тому

      Keep grinding. I was back in school at 25 living at home making pennies. Now doing pretty well in my 40’s. Work hard but also smart.

  • @Aaron-kj8dv
    @Aaron-kj8dv 2 роки тому +325

    I actually really like that you don't look to embarrass the women and you never turn to woman hating. When I hear that from any channel I just check out. I'm not here to hate on ladies, especially because 90% are just normal cool chicks.
    Some dudes get so frustrated with women that they turn into woman haters and the frustration is very understandable because there are a lot of women who always demand empathy and then offer zero to others, but it's important to not become like them because deep down they know they suck.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +51

      Love this comment. Thanks Aaron!

    • @IamjustBruh
      @IamjustBruh 2 роки тому +28

      Bro brought so much heat, he set the table on fire with that comment! Beautifully written!

    • @Spectacular-Spider-Dan
      @Spectacular-Spider-Dan 2 роки тому +21

      I agree 100%, this is one of the reasons I like Courtney's channel so much.

    • @kevin.skorupa
      @kevin.skorupa 2 роки тому +14

      Spot on. I'll admit that I could not make it through a few of those videos and had to stop watching them, so my respect for Courtney is even higher to hold back while interviewing them.

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 2 роки тому +16

      Best comment I've seen! Yes, I do understand that a ton of us men, myself included, get utterly frustrated because most women's expectations and standards are way outlandish. From what I've seen, I like how Courtney just attacked the idea, not the girls, which is what needs to happen! She went about it the best way possible. And to those who throw in the towel, I get it, but attacking women just cause of what they know/don't know ain't the move.

  • @artkingofwholefoods74
    @artkingofwholefoods74 Рік тому +51

    When she spoke of her father working so hard, and never making over 80,000. That really got to me. Made me tear up. All I’ve ever done is make sure my daughters are loved. That’s what was always most important to me…

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +14

      That’s what matters and what they will remember 🥰

    • @frankculaga5169
      @frankculaga5169 Рік тому

      @@CourtneyRyan Be honest. Would you be a findom if you had the opportunity?

    • @wolfgangschreurs8700
      @wolfgangschreurs8700 Рік тому +2

      I feel the same about my daughter. I work in the city 4 days a week, home 3 days a week. Always spend some time hugging my daughter when I leave for the city. And play Roblox with her in the evenings when I am working in the city, so we spend some time together the way she likes.
      Most important person in my life. My little princess :)

  • @michaelyurkovskiy4308
    @michaelyurkovskiy4308 2 роки тому +94

    I’m 27, make over 80K, work 2 jobs, go to grad school, and starting a business. I also model as a hobby so yes, I’m considered “attractive” (hence wouldn’t be registered under an agency). I’m politically involved and volunteer a lot of my time. I STILL struggle in the dating market, because of these unrealistic expectations and the how I’ve been easily dismissed by women in the past for not meeting ALL of their qualifications. I’m at the point where I’ve “thrown in the towel” and have given up on dating. The idea of pursuing just isn’t worth my time anymore, and because I have such a busy life, I don’t have the energy to go on new dates with people. Most Women these days don’t even put in much effort anyways so why should I invest my precious time?

    • @jzhvaeduh
      @jzhvaeduh 2 роки тому +2

      Maybe you just go for women out of your league

    • @byson8628
      @byson8628 2 роки тому +65

      @@jzhvaeduh Bruh he is like the top 11% of the men in the common categories, I wonder what the 'women out of his league' would want. To be honest mate, that statement horrified me

    • @jzhvaeduh
      @jzhvaeduh 2 роки тому +2

      @@byson8628 if he’s unattractive or abnormally short then it’s possible many girls are out of his league.

    • @michaelsix9684
      @michaelsix9684 2 роки тому +26

      look for women overseas, they will recognize your value and treat you well

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca 2 роки тому

      Western society is leveraged towards women ridiculously....travel to get a sense of abundance.

  • @williamhauser3686
    @williamhauser3686 2 роки тому +171

    The world need more people like you, Courtney.

  • @lamachhorne9043
    @lamachhorne9043 2 роки тому +168

    Wow, this is absolutely commendable. It's like a breath of fresh air. I'm SOOO happy this is coming from a woman under 30. When I hear young women today talk about what kind of man would 'qualify' I just laugh to myself, because they'll probably wake up one day at 35 or 40 and be completely clueless as to why they're still single. If you ask these same women how many of their college or uni. friends make $100k, the answer may well be less than 1%.

    • @abolisher
      @abolisher 2 роки тому +1

      😂😂😂1%

    • @user-cq6km9vq2m
      @user-cq6km9vq2m 2 роки тому

      There should be a "dumb bitch," clause/defense.

    • @johntrestni2331
      @johntrestni2331 2 роки тому +3

      I don't think most of them will see their mistakes. I searched up this video after going on one of those FWB sites & even though most of the women on the site are like mid-30's-60's, most of them are just as picky & ridiculous.

    • @executor142
      @executor142 2 роки тому +2

      MGTOW/Manosphere talk amongst the comments section under a generic dating video by a female!!! We done it boys, WE DID IT! Spreading like wildfire!!!

    • @Kriegerinheart
      @Kriegerinheart 2 роки тому

      Breath air…..

  • @dontdoit6986
    @dontdoit6986 2 роки тому +21

    As a happily married man that makes over 100k in my 40’s, it took me many years of career to get to this level. Along the way I learned lessons in money management and financial literacy. I can’t imagine dating again, but using my salary as leverage to get a partner sounds repulsive to me, like it would attract the wrong kind of person. To be real, you’d want to stick to your own cultural group. People who maybe have a little money or have lived that life and understand it.

  • @The4Tifier
    @The4Tifier 2 роки тому +177

    Thank you for this channel! As a late-20's man, it's refreshing to see someone actually talk about the dark side of modern dating culture instead of polarizing men and women based on a handful of bad examples. This is definitely encouraging me to be careful with who I choose to pursue romantically as well as working harder to become someone that will be able to be on equal footing with a good woman.

    • @Scorpiomaj27889
      @Scorpiomaj27889 2 роки тому +4

      I'm about ten years ahead of you and if you've watched the other channels out there, you know, once you start making some money in your 30's, you'll be dating 25 year old women - so even if things suck now, your value is trending up if you're at least moderately attractive and have career plans.

    • @scottschmitz4391
      @scottschmitz4391 2 роки тому +4

      Young women in their twenties don't have life perspective to draw upon. Wait until their 35 years old, with three different baby daddies and no ring and need government. By then their see the picture.

    • @johnq4520
      @johnq4520 Рік тому

      @@scottschmitz4391 yep

    • @Concatenate
      @Concatenate Рік тому

      It's not a handful of bad examples, it's most of the dating market. Look at the statistics of women who swipe right on dating profiles, like 4%, while guys are swiping at around 50%. The delusion is strong across the board.

  • @bobnelson5700
    @bobnelson5700 2 роки тому +151

    As a single individual I have been at the point when I have strongly live by the phrase "if it happens then it happens" when it comes to getting as little as a date with someone. I get judged by what I drive and what I do for work, then I turn the table and point out what similarities they and myself have I get trampled extremely harshly. The biggest difference between me and most of the girls that have crossed my path is that I have my own place and pay all my bills as opposed to still living with parents.

    • @shadowbanned340
      @shadowbanned340 2 роки тому

      upgrade bob. upgrade or move to another country without feminism.

    • @marks2997
      @marks2997 2 роки тому +5

      No need for shame. Keep on trucking!

    • @nathanlaing8441
      @nathanlaing8441 2 роки тому +2

      Your place your asset to protect. Some male to male advice would mention your place as independence but I’m reserved and refuse to do that out of self respect

    • @nickniehaus1763
      @nickniehaus1763 2 роки тому

      If it happens get a prenup

    • @markpitchford7375
      @markpitchford7375 2 роки тому

      @@nickniehaus1763 if you discuss it and she balks, you need it. If you discuss it and she's okay with it, you don't need it. Weird huh?

  • @rustecohle591
    @rustecohle591 2 роки тому +111

    Man I wish more women were as pragmatic, realistic and in tune as you are. Thank you for your objective research and sharing this. Hopefully this will positively impact the dating scene and a drastic change will come of it.

  • @eoinsbizjourney
    @eoinsbizjourney 2 роки тому +53

    This happened to me. I confrontent the unrealistic standards with my ex. She would follow and watch lots of content on social media about spoiling the girlfriend. Of course she would compare these fake and glamorous situations to our relationship. I asked her, do you compare these couples on Instagram and tiktok to our relationship and she replied with, "Well why don't you do this/ that and treat me like this". That proved my point and I tried explaining to her how these expectations are unrealistic and insane but of course that didn't work

    • @koopa5504
      @koopa5504 2 роки тому +17

      Exactly the same here. Like the EXACT same thing. As her social media intake grew, she became more demanding and she threatened me with leaving me for someone who can provide better. I became her slave and felt like one, any wrong step and I was blocked for days.. and she would always blame me, contact my friends and family to rant over me. In the end she cheated on me with a controlling and disgusting old man with money. Her insta is ever growing to this day and she preaches honesty and greatness as this super nice pretty model girl. What a sick world we live in.

    • @eoinsbizjourney
      @eoinsbizjourney 2 роки тому +6

      @@koopa5504 I'm sorry to hear that man. Social media is absolutely destroying relationships currently. Sometimes I wish I was born in the 80s or something with no social media haha. But honestly, she clearly was not a good person for you to be with and there is plenty of genuinely good women out there, although they might be hard to find, they might also find you.
      My ex told my sister of her expectations for our anniversary and said she hopes I don't take her out on a dinner and wants these extravagant surprises because if I don't then I don't love her apparently. Comparison is the thief of joy. It seemed pretty true that she only liked and loved me for what I could provide and if I failed then I'm not good enough and she deserves better apparently because she's such a girl-boss queen.
      I was actually the one that ended up leaving her for how she is and like the small example above. It was a hard decision but a good one. You have to think to yourself, is this the person and the behaviour I want to put up with for the rest of my life? I tried communicating to her about issues but they backfire back on to myself because she is very stubborn and can never be wrong lol.

    • @Phaze-rb3mp
      @Phaze-rb3mp 2 роки тому +5

      and what do they do in return? any effort to develop pleasure skills or knowledge to make interesting conversations? lol They just project what they think...The girl i dumped thought she took care of me cuz she liked cleaning and cooking. Shoot...i dont want any of that, ive been doing that myself forever.

    • @eoinsbizjourney
      @eoinsbizjourney 2 роки тому +5

      @@Phaze-rb3mp There was no effort to improve or even acknowledge any faults on her behalf. Nobody is perfect, but having the strength to atleast identidy issues within yourself and knowing when you are wrong is attractive in itself, atleast to me. That was never there.
      After I broke up with her, a few months later she wants to stay as friends but yet still brings up the relationship stuff and arguments over again. Manipulating me by saying that she always treated me perfectly and was such a good person all the time when that wasn't true. There were good times of course but the bad side outweighed the good. Even though I broke up with her, she still makes it out that I am the bad person and that I was the one and only problem.
      I found out since being somewhat friends, that my #1 best friend tried to get with her after we fell out over something childish. He sent a snapchat to her topless in bed saying "hey x", so that was a hard pill to swallow there. Losing a relationship and a best friend in a short time space was hard.

    • @raresongs3788
      @raresongs3788 Рік тому +2

      Did you make at least 200k? Cuz if less, that would explain anything

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 2 роки тому +145

    I know this gets said a lot, but a lot of unrealistic expectations in dating stem from a lot of people failing to be real with themselves about what they truly want. Not every woman will get a Top 10% man, and even if you do there's a reality that comes with it which is that man will usually be working long hours to be a top earner, meaning you won't get to see him that often but you'll have everything you want. If you want that as a woman that's fine but you can't then say he doesn't spend time with you because that's what you sacrificed to be with a guy who makes a lot of money. If you actually want a man who comes home to you everyday, then you'll have to sacrifice him earning a ton of money and be fine with an honest living and a regular life. There's compromises to life.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +53

      Soooo accurate. I’m going to make a video about this too.

    • @hasbik2168
      @hasbik2168 2 роки тому +1

      Women don't have the ability to reflect on things

    • @josephcolton2614
      @josephcolton2614 2 роки тому +16

      @@CourtneyRyan You may want to touch upon if the ladies really know who and what they are. They may consider themselves high value, but are they really? A bit of a reality check might be in order. Also the question might be asked if they really want the man or if they want the benefits and the glory of the high-class lifestyle, big house, big car, luxurious items, no need to work etc. The view from the male side might be interesting, too, because it might be completely different from the female perspective and it certainly changes with age.

    • @zman6513
      @zman6513 2 роки тому +4

      Bingo. Too many people are living their lives on autopilot based on how society has programmed them. They need to really get to know themselves and discover what it is they truly want. As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.

    • @EdgarHernandez-uu4iw
      @EdgarHernandez-uu4iw 2 роки тому +1

      @@CourtneyRyan can we do a video together talking about this dating world and how these absurd expectations hurt men and women

  • @angelacosta466
    @angelacosta466 2 роки тому +105

    I think social media is brain washing people with this fake reality saying this is the standard. Living a luxurious lifestyle. Young people especially in their 20s are figuring life out still and are not making good money yet because they are just getting started with their careers. Hard times is what defines the strength of a relationship. You have to support each other through the bad and good times. That builds a solid relationship foundation. These days as soon as things get hard, couples want to throw in the towel. I enjoyed listening to your perspective on things Courtney, love your channel.

    • @amirtak9886
      @amirtak9886 2 роки тому +5

      As a Gen Z, this comment is Bingo. Because of social media, many people want a picture perfect life without going through struggles.

    • @carrionflowers6764
      @carrionflowers6764 2 роки тому +6

      Its the leech culture. Social media/content creators have the easy life, no matter how much they say they work hard. They depend on views, which come from people who earn a lot less and probably work harder. This system needs to change, the system should value the people holding the structure together, not the entertainers.

    • @tevingmusiclover
      @tevingmusiclover 2 роки тому +2

      Not only social media but music, tv, and movies what people don’t realize it is an act I’ve seen too many folks on social media wishing they want this man that woman like in the movies music videos but in reality they are day dreaming

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca 2 роки тому

      🎯🎯🎯

  • @IDHE007
    @IDHE007 2 роки тому +102

    you and Aba would be a great cross-over convo to watch. yall both seem fairly level headed so diving into this for like an hour would be great to watch.

    • @alexmackinson
      @alexmackinson 2 роки тому

      out of all people why aba ? like what ? this isnt even his niche ?

    • @mikelitorous5570
      @mikelitorous5570 2 роки тому +5

      @@alexmackinson Aba is someone who is actively in the dating market and has been involved in the red pill community in the past and has experience in what he is talking about and gives a pretty non biased male opinion. It would be a good convo imo

    • @IDHE007
      @IDHE007 2 роки тому +1

      @@alexmackinson bc He is a big Internet personality. Gets to similar conclusions but the way he gets there is different from Courtney. Plus when it comes to these topics he doesn’t get overly emotional about these topics so I know it wouldn’t be some cringy spectacle & he’s reacted to Courtney’s videos as well.

    • @caiotorres6156
      @caiotorres6156 2 роки тому +1

      i agree

    • @IDHE007
      @IDHE007 2 роки тому +1

      @@mikelitorous5570 well said

  • @robertmartin1807
    @robertmartin1807 2 роки тому +67

    I really choked up when you mentioned about your dad. I can tell you really felt that! Even a bit emotional and admiring him in a sense! You truly are a beautiful human being. I’m so glad you made this content! You are truly what a lot of men look for and desire in a woman. This video truly amplified who you really are.

    • @Alpha_apex
      @Alpha_apex 2 роки тому

      yea that pause she did..i felt that.

  • @alanruhland2489
    @alanruhland2489 2 роки тому +62

    Many years ago, I did several "speed dating" events. I think it was 5 or 6. I got no matches at all. Later on, I found out that if 10 men and 10 women go to a speed dating event, two men get matches. Most of the women get matches - with the same two men.

    • @Krelian4400
      @Krelian4400 2 роки тому +33

      80/20 rule in effect. Brutal.

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 2 роки тому +1

      It is like that, and it has always been like that. Always the same few guys in the college, workplace or what ever who gets all the girls. And I am sorry, yes every single one of the girls/women will cheat if they ever get a chance on one of these few guys. That is the brutal truth that has to be told. ;)

    • @tomstickland
      @tomstickland 2 роки тому +8

      They also take their female friends along as support.

    • @thisoldgoat3927
      @thisoldgoat3927 2 роки тому +6

      80/20 rule.

    • @alanruhland2489
      @alanruhland2489 2 роки тому

      And then most of the women don’t land the 2/10 that the women really like. They eventually realize that maybe they’ve been focusing on the wrong things. By then, many of the 8/10 men who got ignored have learned how to get along quite well on their own and that being on their own is better than being a woman’s second choice or lower when that woman is now in her late 30’s, desperately wants to have a baby, and will try pushing the guy for a commitment way too soon. So the women end up on their own. Not all of them because some of the 8/10 will decide to give it a try, but a lot of the women will. Then women complain about how men won’t do anything.

  • @tommygunn6901
    @tommygunn6901 2 роки тому +117

    Controversial is hardly the word I'd use. And yes, unrealistic expectations are what's destroying the dating market these days. So many live in a bubble and rarely, if ever, take the time to actually think that their sense of reality has been warped. While I didn't agree with what those girls talked to about, I get what your overall purpose of doing that was...to exploit the idea, not them!

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +23

      You always get it, Tommy! Thank you 😊

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 2 роки тому +8

      @@CourtneyRyan I see it as the meeting of the minds. I used to get so angry when I'd be written off for minuscule things. Can't even tell you how many times I've threw in the towel, and good grief do I wish we have these conversations.
      Above this, thank you! 🙏

    • @brainrich1358
      @brainrich1358 2 роки тому +2

      "Controversial" has now lost it's meaning as many words nowadays being thrown around willy-nilly. Anything someone doesn't like is considered "controversial."

    • @sarcodonblue2876
      @sarcodonblue2876 2 роки тому

      Women want men to be emotionally available and we want partnerships rather than having to give up everything tonne with a man. That is why women want money and security as we have to give all of ourselves in an unbalanced way . Why be with a poor man if he still expects you to live for him and abandon all you built up prior to being with him

    • @snappeddegree7
      @snappeddegree7 2 роки тому +4

      It’s not controversial and unrealistic expectations is the least of it. Being out of touch with reality is the biggest problem . Not just with dating but life in general. Risk management And running variables and stacking them in a way to have the desired outcome is just a lost practice at this point.
      It seems as a society we’ve progressed to the point where ppl can turn off critical thinking all together.

  • @RyderSpearmann
    @RyderSpearmann 2 роки тому +39

    So true. My standards are: Don't be evil. Don't ruin my life with drama. Don't smoke/do drugs. Be worth climbing into bed with. As low as these standards are... essentially don't be a hideous detriment... very few women can attain something so simple. But these same women have lists miles long of all the things they demand are done for them.

    • @raresongs3788
      @raresongs3788 Рік тому

      ...except the part "be worth climbing into bed with". It offends most of women who is just not up to this little, yet demanding filter 😊

    • @Mercy1-
      @Mercy1- Рік тому +1

      Tell me about it lol my money our choice
      Your body your choice lmao
      Then they act as if they don't want sex like us men would

  • @no_regerts5176
    @no_regerts5176 2 роки тому +94

    My wife and I were 23 when we met. I had a base salary of $35k and she made $40k. She gave me a chance and we’ve been able to build each other up, bought property, and had children. Everything we own has a memory of working together to earn it. Seeing these videos reminds me of how lucky I am.

    • @haxstat
      @haxstat 2 роки тому +5

      Checks out with you nickname. :)

    • @matthewcoombs3282
      @matthewcoombs3282 2 роки тому +8

      I wish you and your wife the best. Marriage didn't work for me but I love stories like yours.

    • @egth1300
      @egth1300 2 роки тому +11

      Using a phrase like "she gave me a chance" sounds strange to me. Do u see yourself less than her?

    • @samuraijosh1595
      @samuraijosh1595 2 роки тому +5

      @@egth1300 maybe at least when he started dating her. I mean that's normal, he might've taken her for yet another woman that wants her man to earn more.

    • @jbr84tx
      @jbr84tx 2 роки тому +1

      You are incredibly lucky. How long ago were you married? Things have changed a lot even in the last decade. She gave you a chance, and you gave her a chance.

  • @raulgarza2517
    @raulgarza2517 2 роки тому +37

    Thank you for clarifying. Its not uncommon for people who come from an environment (ie household, family) where mom or dad or both make a lot of money, to have high, unrealistic expectations. I grew up poor and saw how much my parents struggled to provide. It made me really appreciate the value of hard work and what it takes to make a comfortable living. The friends I did have that grew up more privileged could never wrap their head around this.

    • @exoticindiaa
      @exoticindiaa 2 роки тому

      Only 2% of men are above 6ft tall and earn in 6 figures. So your friend most likely would end up single

  • @sturaz4445
    @sturaz4445 2 роки тому +74

    Courtney offers a diverse and realistic view of relationships through an objective female lens. One of the few relationship content creators that can more effortlessly reach male and female audiences IMO. Keep up the great work!

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +14

      You just made my day. Thank you for the kind comment 🤍

    • @sturaz4445
      @sturaz4445 2 роки тому +3

      @@CourtneyRyan Your welcome! Passion and persistence win the day. 🍻

  • @daveg4417
    @daveg4417 2 роки тому +17

    I dated a lot when I turned 50. 100+ dates in five years. I am 5'8, $60k+, no debt, mortgage paid off on a nice middle class home, car paid off, two RSPs, $100k in savings. I dated women 45 to 65, any height, any weight, any job including unemployed. All 100+ women, after they ate the meal that I bought, told me they wouldn't have a relationship with me because I don't make $100k+. I wasted $10k on dates and dating site subscriptions in five years, that I should have just invested. I stopped dating, canceled my subscriptions, and got red pilled. The positive in all of this is that I learned how to take rejection like a champ.

    • @The_Trip_Doctor
      @The_Trip_Doctor 2 роки тому +3

      Dude I don't know who you are but freaking great job building up your life. You have my congrats

    • @leahnyb6878
      @leahnyb6878 2 роки тому

      You had a nice time with the women. A man who pays for dinner and thinks it was wasted money ist not a champ.

  • @rino7789
    @rino7789 2 роки тому +45

    By far this is your best video yet! So much wisdom imparted to your audience. I am 58 and have finally reached financial stability but it took more than 30 years to get to this point and it does not come easily. I remember all of the girls who turned me down while I was struggling to climb the ladder of success. Now that I am there, I am hesitant to reveal what I have as I now know what type of female those things will attract. Uh no thanks.

    • @raybod1775
      @raybod1775 2 роки тому +6

      I’m 64, single, financially stable and can only tick off 3 or 4 women I met in my life that things could have worked out well. Dozens of others would have been a disaster including one that I found out later was a lesbian looking for a guy to have kids with.

    • @visaman
      @visaman 2 роки тому +3

      I am 58 too. The Class of '82 has to stick together!

    • @Him738
      @Him738 2 роки тому

      @@raybod1775 damn bruh thats crazy

    • @largervoid1708
      @largervoid1708 2 роки тому +1

      Ray, just live a normal life and no goldigging women will approach you...

  • @kenrickbautista6141
    @kenrickbautista6141 2 роки тому +131

    As someone who's 26 and single, I'm real glad I'm smart enough to save my money. Also, I'm so sorry to hear you about your background. I hope you're doing well.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +40

      Save that money! 🙌🏼 and I’m doing great thank you so much!

    • @alejandrojoselizano
      @alejandrojoselizano 2 роки тому +2

      @@CourtneyRyan 👍

    • @RichardsWorld
      @RichardsWorld 2 роки тому +7

      If you save money, it will be worth less in the future. Putting your money where the interest rate can keep up with inflation is what the wealthier people do.

    • @kenrickbautista6141
      @kenrickbautista6141 2 роки тому +1

      @@RichardsWorld oh, okay.

    • @Lonstermash
      @Lonstermash 2 роки тому

      @@RichardsWorld yes! Save AND invest

  • @DarthJabba504
    @DarthJabba504 2 роки тому +10

    I give you a lot of props and respect for being real. Honestly, I initially watched your videos bc I thought you were attractive but I watch it now bc you're grounded, intelligent, and kind.

  • @izrelli
    @izrelli 2 роки тому +22

    You won my respect and even heart for your honesty. Regular people are working class people who deserve the same respect you have shown to your parents.

  • @IAmMrQ
    @IAmMrQ 2 роки тому +85

    Social media and dating apps have given women countless options to choose from. Which has ultimately lowered the value of most men. An average looking woman can literally rake in thousands of men willing to give them attention. It's truly mind-blowing how women have a plethora of options at their fingertips.

    • @Eros13adios
      @Eros13adios 2 роки тому

      But can you blame them????.when all these men are throwing themselves at them hotties..This is also partial Men's fault for sending them hotties too many messages non stop and d_ck pics.
      So, pretty much women move up the standards.
      It is true what some Dating Coaches say, pursue excellence and let the woman come to you.

    • @abolisher
      @abolisher 2 роки тому +7

      Bingo you hit it spot on don’t forget narcissism as well which when you realize is very true since social media is all about ME ME ME ME…

    • @reckonerwheel5336
      @reckonerwheel5336 2 роки тому +10

      This lines up with my experience too as a woman. There's been three men (not dates) so far who've told me that on Tinder, they swipe right on nearly every girl. As a woman, that opened up my eyes, because I was using Tinder as a big filter, choosing who was closest to my own preferences, rather than being open-minded and using the first date as the actual place to figure out if I was interested in someone. Admittedly, I have to be picky, because I want to be child-free.
      And it's true that so long as a woman is young-looking, not fat, and wants a family in the future, there's a lot of options out there.

    • @OscarHernandez-tv1xd
      @OscarHernandez-tv1xd 2 роки тому +3

      "Attention" being the operative word though. The idea that all men who give out attention or a one night stand are men of value who would marry the same girl is misguided, to put it lightly.

    • @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner
      @CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 2 роки тому +4

      I think it is the opposite. Men have more options bc they start the relationship. If a man isn’t happy, relationship is over.
      Happiness of a man is important. A woman can’t marry or start anything without a man approaching her meaning he finds her appealing

  • @excellet1279
    @excellet1279 2 роки тому +75

    As I'm getting older I realize that dating should be about finding out if that person is good and if you love their goodness. The materialistic things such as, are they charming, handsome, fun, wealthy, even being driven don't matter. At some point throughout our lives we lose those things, but what we (hopefully) keep is our ability to be and do good with someone by our side helping to support, push, and correct eachother when we need.

    • @F22raptor46
      @F22raptor46 2 роки тому +1

      Yup, it's simply about compatibility, that's all it should be

    • @Swearengen1980
      @Swearengen1980 2 роки тому

      @@F22raptor46 Not exactly true. Chemistry and mutual attraction are more likely to lead to more satisfying intimacy, which is critical to a healthy relationship at any age. It's unrealistic to think that physical attraction should never be a factor because it almost always will be.

    • @F22raptor46
      @F22raptor46 2 роки тому

      @@Swearengen1980 I mean yes of course that makes a big difference too but that shouldn't be a defining factor

    • @Swearengen1980
      @Swearengen1980 2 роки тому

      @@F22raptor46 Should is irrelevant. Facts are. If you walk up to a woman and you're not attractive to her, it's over before it began. Having no idea what you look like, I'll present a hypothetical: Say you're a reasonably good looking guy in reasonable shape. A solid 7. And a janky looking 300 lb woman approaches you....are you thinking about her personality and ignoring that she's nearly twice your weight? Don't be a hypocrite.

    • @F22raptor46
      @F22raptor46 2 роки тому

      @@Swearengen1980 maybe not but u also won't straight up dismiss her, I'll maybe give her a couple of chances. Although 300lbs is probably way too much

  • @helioflanaganveiga
    @helioflanaganveiga 2 роки тому +57

    One of the many reasons why I have always loved Courtney’s UA-cam channel is because of the high level of sincerity in all areas. She keeps it real 100% of the time. I truly appreciate when an intelligent and beautiful woman, who is a 10 in anyone’s list, take the time to tell society how wrong it is to have unrealistic expectations about personal, financial, and romantic life. As a man, I feel valued and appreciated when I see videos like this one. It certainly is a big deal to have people like Courtney addressing these societal issues. Nothing but respect and admiration for you Courtney.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +8

      You’re so kind 🥹 thank you so much.

    • @bigneiltoo
      @bigneiltoo 2 роки тому +3

      Given that the #1 problem in the world today is entitled fat women, Courtney is a true hero for humanity.

    • @jasonellis8751
      @jasonellis8751 Рік тому +1

      She regains my faith in humanity

    • @MRosati5000
      @MRosati5000 Рік тому

      @@CourtneyRyan ..even if she was ugly, we would still like. Wait! what?..

    • @matthewbowers6178
      @matthewbowers6178 Рік тому +3

      Everyone in this comment section just simped super hard!😂

  • @NOVAZ3N
    @NOVAZ3N 2 роки тому +53

    I highly appreciate the perspectives shared in this video. As a 25 y/o man, I've gone through 15 failed romantic interests, learning many new and different things each time and growing as a person. The expectations really are insane. I used to believe what I was told, that all that should matter in a relationship is that you and your partner love each other for who they are. I personally desire specific character traits such as open mindedness and kindness in a woman, but it feels like my own character traits are not valued at all. Instead, it just seems like my own kindness, open mindedness, caring and loving nature, patience, and generosity are all expected as a baseline. I am disqualified from a healthy relationship based on factors that I'm still working on. And because I'm not at the top of the mountain yet, I can't be considered as a romantic option by anyone. I just feel it's a shame, because I'm losing all this time when it could be spent with someone who does value me as a person rather than my physical wealth and success. Once I do get to the top of the mountain, I no longer know who to trust because then how do I tell whether someone is interested in me for myself or my money? I've been through abusive and manipulative relationships before, and I don't want to do that again. I lost around $10,000 doing just that, having trust in my partner, and getting taken advantage of. In the future, how do I have faith and trust in a potential partner if I show them my wealth? Or how do I even attract a partner if I hide my wealth and just date based on personality? I've tried the latter for so long and it's just not working. I've worked on myself as a person for 9 years now, and I've made incredible progress, but all of it just seems unappreciated and even a red flag to most women I interact with. Being yourself is just not good enough anymore. Being hardworking, honest, kind, respectful, and patient is the baseline and not worthy of a second glance. I do still believe good women are out there, but in my experience, they're all already in good relationships with good men. I've personally given up on dating for the time being because I just can't compete with people who are already at the top of the mountain in terms of physical and internal success. Until I'm there, it just feels impossible.

    • @wombat5252
      @wombat5252 2 роки тому +12

      Why do you think birth rates decline in countries that are functioning well? Countries that have equal opportunities for men and women? Women do not date down and as society progresses and women are able to accomplish more, do more and focus on their careers, men are left behind. It makes sense from a biological standpoint but it's an unfortunate natural occurrence. There are obviously more factors to this, it's more complex but that is sort of a basic idea on how to think about it.

    • @CalebsAquarium
      @CalebsAquarium 2 роки тому +7

      Completely relate. I don't make a ton of money and it really just feels like a waste of my time to go on dates anymore because it always ends in disappointment.

    • @Fujtajblus
      @Fujtajblus 2 роки тому +6

      I can see myself in this description. It is amusing and funny when I overhear conversations of guys in the train, they can be like 18 - 26, talking about how if a guy has their own appartment / house and a car, that women just swarm him like moths to a flame. I have all that, I have been working on everything in my life for past 15 years. I sometimes slack off in terms of physical aspect as I am naturally skinny and need to work out a lot to look even normal. But other than that I am all women tend to describe they want. The reality is women actually want different things than they say. They want excitement, adventures, stimulation but I think most of all, if they are single, they want to make sure they pick the best one for them. It has been debunked and hypergamy does not exist. People want those who are similar to them. What I learned is that you dont need to the best at everything and better in everything than her. But women get hit on constantly on social media, dating apps, they have all the attention they can and starting a relationship is a battle. Because as you said, the baseline seems to be pretty much "everything they wish to have in a man" now. And if you make a small mistake, one joke that does not land, now you are put on the scopes and evaluated. If you are in a relationship already, I generally had to be at my best 95% of the times. If it went down, it felt like "the maximum of points" I get has been lowered. If I was at 100, now I am at 95, I can never get to 100 again, max 95. And after few years, you get to like 60 and then she looks elsewhere. And those point deductions were simply becasue I did not have time for her for a few days due to important project at work and I made it up to her on the next weekend, she seemed ok at face value but I could feel it did lasting damage to her respect for me. It's just painful man, because I would expect that things like this is not ideal but workable. There are dudes who beat their women, belittle them, hurt them, emotionally drain them.. how the duck are the caring guys are the ones to take this shit? I would expect that if you get a hit by the guy, you leave, relationship over. It is just exhauting.

    • @Astro2024
      @Astro2024 2 роки тому

      @@wombat5252 from what 'biological standpoint' does this make sense? Lol it's just consumerism and greed. Talking out of your ass

    • @wombat5252
      @wombat5252 2 роки тому +1

      @@Astro2024 You clearly don't see the whole scope of things. Try broadening your mind and think about the multiple factors that go into a declining birth rate. Here's a hint: It's not consumerism.

  • @nickbrown9664
    @nickbrown9664 2 роки тому +86

    At this point I practically use these videos as a source of meditation and to regenerate positive thoughts about the world. It's just refreshing to have someone so humble using their platform for good as opposed to a self-titled "alpha" or "sigma" douche yelling at me because I can't make a million every time I say the word "bro". I appreciate the calming deminour and genuine human compassion, thanks for the insights

    • @DTreatz
      @DTreatz 2 роки тому +4

      Stop taking the hopium, this isn't going to get any better.

  • @bryantaylor8504
    @bryantaylor8504 2 роки тому +37

    It's so nice to hear some empathy for the plight of men. I'm married, but so many single men that I know are hurting right now. Many women are too, I gather. We have to be nicer to each other.

    • @doughartley3513
      @doughartley3513 2 роки тому +2

      I am finding many women like to degrade men so to make themselves appear, and frankly, many of these ladies are not the typical beautiful woman constantly being showed in relationship ads,

  • @benjahminwahome
    @benjahminwahome 2 роки тому +16

    This channel gives me hope that good, sensible and conscious women still exist in this generation. Thank you Courtney 💯

  • @bonafidechamploo
    @bonafidechamploo 2 роки тому +22

    Courtney having seen this channel grow these past few years, your neutral position, supported by facts & stats, than followed by personal experience and finalizing with a owned developed opinion has been a successful method thus far. You know the solution already, following up is all that's needed 👍🏼.

  • @SpyGenesis
    @SpyGenesis 2 роки тому +40

    It's so heart-warming and somewhat soothing that Courtney understand the situation of us men. That's why I come to watch her videos again and again.

    • @MarcoAshford
      @MarcoAshford 2 роки тому +3

      I think 99% of men sub this channel think this way. She is attractive, understands you, comforts you. Like a stream of clean water in this dirty world or like a female version of Matthew Hussey. Cheers bro.

  • @ollysombrero8427
    @ollysombrero8427 2 роки тому +34

    and that's why your content is not stale. It keeps evolving and shapeshifting into different tones and methods or recipes so to speak. a lot of creators out there who keep churning out slightly different versions of the same video over and over again for years on end.
    I appreciate the fluctuation of the amount of either passion or frustration that's feeding the content. It's not flatlining.

  • @EpictheEpicest
    @EpictheEpicest 2 роки тому +13

    Couldn't agree with this more. I'm 28, I work a manual labor job 60 hours a week and make around 50k after taxes. I don't love it but it's what I gotta do to survive until something better comes along, I didn't finish college. I got sick of dating younger women when I was 25 because of being defined by my job and my salary. I actually enjoy dating older women 30s to early 40s because women who are confident and secure in themselves and understand the struggles of life is much sexier to me than some 20 year old sexpot with 2% body fat.

  • @bobbyclark8119
    @bobbyclark8119 2 роки тому +24

    I work for the outdoor industry. Mainly in retail. I make good money and love what I do. And it’s tough when you meet someone for the first time and they ask, “what do you do?” The stigma around jobs that “are lower paying” is tough, because the person already puts you in a certain category. A category that suggests you may not be financially stable and/or can’t support someone. If money and material goods are the only thing someone is looking for that is a giant red flag. Stay strong, be kind to everyone around you, and find someone who is interested in you and your personality. Don’t settle for anything else.

    • @kylesizemore2751
      @kylesizemore2751 2 роки тому +6

      I lived in an affluent area and i knew a guy who ran his own landscaping company in the area. The guy made well over 150k a year after paying all of his employees and he loved it. He never rested on his laurels though, every day he was out there cutting grass with his guys. The trades and service industries can be incredibly lucrative if you find yourself in the right market and people are incredibly ignorant to this fact. So many people think you need to sit in an office all day to be successful when in reality, most office positions (unless you're a stem major) are oversaturated.

    • @geoffn1530
      @geoffn1530 2 роки тому +1

      I’m a janitor at a school

    • @StereoAnthony
      @StereoAnthony 2 роки тому

      I'm in my mid 40s and work in a restaurant, as well as a few other things and investments.
      Yesterday a young lady that used to work there stopped by, and I got the "Oh your still here" with the tone of voice that was " wow your such a loser"
      I totally have been turned down many times by woman in the past because of the perception of a man my age doing what I'm doing.
      Of course the irony of it is, I own a home, have a brand new car, no debt, and make more than my ex who worked in Insurance.
      Aside from that I come from a wealthy family, and my financial future is already taken care of. I will never have to worry about money.
      Of course no body knows that, and they just see this guy in his 40s working in a restaurant.
      It will be a pleasant surprise for whoever I find to be with.

    • @geoffn1530
      @geoffn1530 2 роки тому +1

      @@StereoAnthony dang! Sounds like your doing great! Yet they still have this attitude that they need some James Bond figure or something. Good god! How can a guy get motivated when catching a female is so hard?

  • @eur947
    @eur947 2 роки тому +8

    I love that you’re coming from a genuine place and not trying to put anyone down.

  • @mav1877
    @mav1877 2 роки тому +22

    You are a daily dose of reality for both men and women in dating. I hope more women and men view your videos. Unrealistic expectations from media and books can taint people's experiences

  • @tomdebevoise
    @tomdebevoise Рік тому +6

    Courtney you are obviously a compassionate person. To be in a loving, trusting and intimate relationship is one of the greatest treasure of a human life. Imagine making love and snuggling for hours on a Sunday morning after taking a walk or doing yoga together - years into your marriage. There is no fancy car, designer purse or anything that can come close to this.

  • @Metalpazallteway
    @Metalpazallteway 2 роки тому +17

    I'm super happy to know Courtney that you have a humbled background. When you described your father I felt a teardrop because you described my father at script. The means of hard work is really overlooked by females who feel that hypergamy is the best route in any circumstance. But you seriously shed some light on society. Thanks love ❤️

  • @dissident1337
    @dissident1337 2 роки тому +18

    Dating shouldn't be a market to begin with. Treating relationships like a set of transactions, treating people like commodities with traits to select à la carte... it's all dehumanizing.

    • @Mercy1-
      @Mercy1- Рік тому

      Lack of IQ

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 11 місяців тому

      So TRUE. It's a question of VALUES.

    • @D402S
      @D402S 9 місяців тому

      It's a business.

  • @TheHornet1fan
    @TheHornet1fan 2 роки тому +10

    Courtney, your level of honesty, and integrity is breathtaking to say the least, I'm a 67 year old widower and I have applied and learned more about dating, personal care, and conduct, from you then in all the time I've been around. Thank you and keep up the Great job.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  2 роки тому +1

      🥹🫶🏼 thank you for your kind comment! Hugs!!

  • @Strider9655
    @Strider9655 2 роки тому +6

    I think the craziest and most damaging expectation of all, is much older than social media, it's romanticism.
    The unrealistic expectations that came from Disney films and romance novels, etc, and of that the absolute worst thing being the expectation that a partner should always automatically know what you want, what your thinking and what to do, many cannot see the reality and assume that the partner is broken and/or doesn't really care, isn't their "soulmate", etc.

  • @brandenvaldez3896
    @brandenvaldez3896 2 роки тому +21

    Thank you Courtney for this video. It's nice to know that there are good women that understand what's happening in society. I really hope there are more discussions and conversations so men and women, together, can feel great about their lives. Thanks again.

  • @Tyrael1701
    @Tyrael1701 2 роки тому +32

    Choice is destroying the dating market. Before dating apps, you had to meet someone at school, church, hobbies, or work. There were only a few choices. Now, a decent girl can get guys from literally all over the world saying I want to marry you. We always found a show to watch when there were 10 channels. Now with 8 streaming services and thousands of choices, we can't find anything.

    • @kylesizemore2751
      @kylesizemore2751 2 роки тому

      Most men (even the rich ones that can fly a girl out to anywhere on the planet) are so terrible at communicating or taking care of themselves that it's not difficult to stand out even in an ocean of 10,000 men. The vast majority of women would rather stay with a 7/10 dude who they have a strong emotional connection with than seek out a 10/10 man they don't know. The kindof women that become crippled by choice anxiety aren't the women you want to date long term anyway. They are doing you a favor by removing themselves from the dating pool.

    • @energyzer_bunny1913
      @energyzer_bunny1913 2 роки тому +3

      Choice is another highly overlooked factor.

    • @bigheadrhino
      @bigheadrhino 2 роки тому +2

      I met my wife using a dating app that limits the number of options you see per day (Coffee Meets Bagel). I know a bunch of other people who found their spouses using it too. Choice is definitely a factor.

    • @snappeddegree7
      @snappeddegree7 2 роки тому

      Choice allows ppl to be who they really are.

    • @snappeddegree7
      @snappeddegree7 2 роки тому

      @THE ADAM FRIEDLAND SHOW disagree. Simps not holding her accountable is the same as the men who use her and also don’t hold her accountable. Everyone invests and has their part in the outcome.
      That’s also not even factoring in society and how it nurtured this to be a normalcy

  • @KnotTime
    @KnotTime 2 роки тому +27

    I feel like social media and swipe dating apps have ingrained not only unrealistic expectations and "build a boyfriend" mentality, but also this attitude of "i wonder what else is out there" instead of being happy with what you have. I'm not saying having wants is bad, nor that you should settle and be unhappy, but i think sometimes people have a hard time just being happy and enjoying their life for what it is. And you also hit the nail on the head. I'm a pretty average guy build wise, I workout, I stay in shape, I make decent money and good lord some of the things i've been told and or heard from friends of both sexes is astounding. I think we all need to really learn not only what the "real" world is, but also some empathy, self awareness, and self respect. And I always ask myself, what are YOU offering? You're saying you need xyz out of me to date, but what exactly are you bringing to the table? If it isn't at least equal emotional and physical equity, then you need to look in the mirror honestly. Great video.

    • @23ofSeptember
      @23ofSeptember 2 роки тому +2

      Yup, the "i wonder what else is out there" thinking is whats dominating the dating market. It used to be you would ask a woman out and you'd be good until you screwed things up, but now even if you're a gentleman and do everything right, there is always a Chad swiping right on her.

    • @jonp.6759
      @jonp.6759 2 роки тому

      well said

    • @KnotTime
      @KnotTime 2 роки тому +1

      @@23ofSeptember there's that feeling always of having to prove your worth, if you don't wow her 24/7 she'll get bored and you're out. which is bullshit. Straight up bullshit. Again, not to be corny, but know your worth. Know what you bring to the table and what your offer, and don't force something that isn't there. I don't buy into the chad thing mentality because in reality it's putting another dude on a pedestal and, honestly I don't mean this in a toxic egotistical way, but I have the attitude of "it's a privilege to date me". are there guys who are taller/better looking/make more money/etc out there vs me? Yup. Do I care? Nope. I let my good qualities speak for themself and if she chooses to look elsewhere, it wasn't meant to be anyways. There's A LOT of women out there who have the same mindset and are great partners.

  • @ginocastillo8272
    @ginocastillo8272 2 роки тому +12

    I think your approach to not correct the girls when they give unrealistic expectations is the better way to handle it. I think follow up videos like this are also useful. You provide a reasonable middle ground between women and men that is pretty rare and valueable.
    I am an engineer in his late 20s who finally has passed the 100k mark, but is too socially unconfident and short for most girl's tastes so I remain single. The paycheck isn't everything. I often feel I choose the wrong girls to invest time into. Thankfully I have my faith in Jesus, my family, and friends to give me a full life I sadly often take for granted. I aim to improve in my romantic interactions with women, though, so thank you for all the female advice I have often lacked. God bless.

  • @guitarman813
    @guitarman813 2 роки тому +24

    Courtney, you've summed this up perfectly. Social media and also dating apps have completely distorted people's opinions and expectations of each other and society in general.
    Being single for me is the right thing for me right now. I'm not saying that I'll never get into a relationship. But it's just too hard and there are too many hurdles to jump over. I'd rather focus on being the best version of myself. The latter mindset I think helps one to achieve their personal ambitions more easily.

    • @abolisher
      @abolisher 2 роки тому

      I’ve said that as well

    • @oldscratch3535
      @oldscratch3535 2 роки тому +1

      When you say "people", what you really should say is "women".
      Men still live in reality for the most part and understand statistics.

    • @guitarman813
      @guitarman813 2 роки тому +2

      @@oldscratch3535 I think that some men are just as at fault as some women are. It's not all one gender.

    • @oldscratch3535
      @oldscratch3535 2 роки тому

      @@guitarman813 Women are the majority users of social media. On some platforms its a 70/30 split. And women are more likely to conform to perceived social norms and expectations as concluded by multiple studies.
      In conclusion, its women's fault.

    • @gridtac2911
      @gridtac2911 2 роки тому

      Social media rewards people for lying and creating personas... Not actual real life. It also rewards conflict and nasty behavior.

  • @danzena4059
    @danzena4059 2 роки тому +6

    You're a good woman.
    I understand woman wanting to have stability, security, strength. I understand woman want a man who can take charge, lead, "hold it down".
    Nowadays though, delusion, entitlement, unrealistic expectations (from women)are through the stratosphere and absolutely bogus.
    Yes, there's men that have ridiculous expectations but compared to women, it's so tame.

  • @ddavisgaming
    @ddavisgaming 2 роки тому +11

    You have 412K subscribers but your videos are so informative and relatable that you deserve all the success in the world. Much respect for being so open minded and kind ❤

  • @jackfroste
    @jackfroste 2 роки тому +9

    Honest self-reflection and commentary simply doesn't exist in nearly all young-women cliques. Thanks for making this video and I hope and pray it permeates the mass consciousness. Keep up the good work Courtney.

  • @ellap3099
    @ellap3099 2 роки тому +10

    Women changed the game permanently, social media isn’t an excuse it’s wilful ignorance and so much worse than social media will allow us to see. I work in an office full of men and not a single one of them has what I’d call a normal relationship. They’re raising some other man’s kids, divorced, living with their parents at 35, earning no where near enough to buy a house on their own and don’t want to with a woman because they think they’ll lose it all anyway. They barely even talk to me and I make the effort, it’s depressing and there’s no undoing it - WTF have we done?. I wouldn’t even call millennials men, I’m not trying to be conceited but they stand up for NOTHING and they were raised that way. Even the difference between millennials and genX is night and day.

    • @mrod8578
      @mrod8578 2 роки тому +5

      I'm a man and I totally get what you're saying. I wouldn't call you conceited at all. It's the reality of the situation. Social media has simply exacerbated the situation with vvomen and amplified it but the problems started decades before that.
      The amount of children being raised in single mother households is approaching 50 percent and growing. Boys from the time they are born often don't have a single male role model or mentor. It is not uncommon today for a boy to go from a single mother household to being raised in a school system of 98 percent all female teachers and being taught to have effeminate behaviors. Such boys might go their whole young life from age 0-18 without a single positive male role model and being raised and seen as defective girls by their mothers, teachers, and society. Then they grow up with low standards for women because they see themselves as less than, and either have failure to launch, end up divorced by 40, or they end up cucking themselves raising another man's kids from a single mom with no children of his own and his genetic legacy snipped from existence.
      It's honestly a sad state of affairs. It used to be a man would have standards and wouldn't marry a woman who wasn't a virgin. Then men went from that to she can't be divorced or be a single mom. Now men's standards are so low (as well as their self esteem and dignity) it seems many men will be happy to take any woman from females who have been run through sexually to raising another man's seed. The west has been raising men to be defective and it has worked like a charm. Many guys by the time they are 40 are completely broken.
      As a sidenote like you mentioned you are more likely to find masculine men at older ages who have been less indoctrinated. Certainly there are greater percentages of gen x men who had a masculine father and male mentors before they tore up male spaces. Women unfortunately may have to go older than they normally would if they want such masculine men. Even then such things have still infiltrated X-gen men so it's not a guarantee just because he's X-gen (it's not just millennials and zoomers).

  • @Ryker2608
    @Ryker2608 2 роки тому +53

    I'm 34, never been in a relationship, but over the years, seeing how the majority of modern American women are and seeing how friends and my brothers have been absolutely torn down and destroyed by women, I gotta say, I don't think I have any interest anymore in dating, I'll stay single, where it's safe.

    • @Imtheheman321
      @Imtheheman321 Рік тому

      Tell your brothers to stop letting women control them. They sound really soft. And you should get inside the Gym and get a six pack buddie.

    • @davidbowman2035
      @davidbowman2035 Рік тому +9

      I'm 48 and never been in a relationship and i am happy to stay single.

    • @NadeemAhmad-me7fp
      @NadeemAhmad-me7fp Рік тому +1

      Thirty-seven years old here, and I have the same situation as what you described, except it’s not that I have no more interest in dating, I never had any interest in dating at all.

    • @PaulAllen786
      @PaulAllen786 Рік тому +4

      Rejection is not as bad as Regret.
      You already lost about 20 years that you could have had a girlfriend but instead you sat back and made excuses. Pathetic! Get a grip on yourself.
      Man up, face challenges head on. Because you decided to not take your chances with the girls you have been interested in, a guy like me already smashed and passed.
      I’m not going to say how many girls I been with, but I have been married and divorced and I don’t regret None of it. After my divorce, I went right into another long term relationship. And I’ve learned a lot through being with those women. It’s better to know what you don’t like and did like, then you can visualize and approach the right woman for you.

    • @killjoymcnugget7877
      @killjoymcnugget7877 Рік тому +1

      hahaha you sound just like the sportscar smash or pass rolex workaholic no regrets superman sigma-grindset teenagers one finds on the internet. I wonder why
      I am the peak masculine man with thousands of notches on my belt. What are you? Let me tell you son. You are pathetic! Be more like me and do 5000 push-ups every morning to get big and nice muscles. My worth is weighed in the money I make and the girls I smash dude so you can clearly see that I am superior to you!
      By the way, I watched american psycho and my big idol is the main character of that movie because he is not pathetic! He is the apex alpha golden boy and I am too because I have seen that movie many times!

  • @Doug5614
    @Doug5614 2 роки тому +14

    It's hard to be making over $100k. You really got to be in the field where the salaries are higher. Companies don't like to pay out that kind of money so easily. It's usually long hours that go along with that kind of income whether it's your career job or your business. Keep up the great work Courtney!

    • @Jeremy-ql1or
      @Jeremy-ql1or 2 роки тому +1

      $100K is not actually that unrealistic these days. If you make $50 and hour full time that is $100K a year. It is tough to make that much before the age of 28 but with hard work it is definitely possible.

    • @Doug5614
      @Doug5614 2 роки тому +2

      @@Jeremy-ql1or one would need a very deliberate, structured plan. However, it is doable. Most young men in their twenties are not that financially versed in their thinking as yet.

  • @VerylongJohn
    @VerylongJohn 2 роки тому +33

    Courtney, I believe what you did in your last videos was exactly the type of content needed for people to see. You letting the girls talk without influence from you is how you complete a study. I know you may feel weird about how people react and I hope that does not influence if the girls come back or not, but I believe you conducted yourself like a true researcher. Don’t let people put you down! 😊

    • @imperiousham3182
      @imperiousham3182 2 роки тому

      Agreed, I loved seeing perspectives from other women and it seemed to me like they were being honest

  • @ronrodd2062
    @ronrodd2062 2 роки тому +6

    Courtney, I was an athlete, loved drama classes, loved singing and was not a member of any clique in either high school or college. Girls didn’t know what to make of me! However girls would come to me, unsolicited, asking me advice! Not a role I enjoyed but nevertheless embraced. I recognized a similar theme among girls( women) where their expectations were unrealistic! Princess syndrome I named it! Wanted the perfect man , tall, handsome, confidant, funny and ad nauseam ad infinitum. I didn’t measure up regardless of my personality, ease of interacting with females, my confidence etc…… !!!!! Most were alarmed by my advice that the perfect man didn’t exist, that they may have to accept flaws! Not welcome advice but a knowing that I may be right but they didn’t want to hear it! My second year in college a top beauty in my high school happen to recognize me and asked why I didn’t date in high school that most girls were crazy about me and yearned that I asked them out! Told her with sports, studying and church, working to afford college the last thing on my mind was dating! Oh, the years were 1961-1969! How times have not changed!,,

  • @jrodthegreat1
    @jrodthegreat1 2 роки тому +8

    You literally hit the nail on the head. I said this in one of the comment threads on the last video. Unrealistic body expectations kind of go hand and hand with everything you said. You can’t expect something if you don’t give the same in return. What you said about social media and relationships expectations,
    I make about 80k-90k a year when I’m traveling but base pay is about 70k. I’m always traveling and constantly on 10s and 12s (hrs a day), 6 to 7 days a week.I’m a mechanic for the Department of Defense so I basically I fix Submarines and Aircraft carriers traveling to japan and San Diego for 6-8 months out of the year. Doing this while trying to maintain relationships plus take care of myself and my dog is exhausting. And to demand my time is a lot to ask these days but I’ll try

    • @kunumercy1798
      @kunumercy1798 2 роки тому

      You have to try and have time for relationship because time isn't on anyone side

  • @AngeloJParks
    @AngeloJParks 2 роки тому +8

    Courtney, I definitely know your opinion; you’ve made it crystal clear, and I still loved this video because the people who are READY to be better will watch this and see the pattern-that SOCIETY is so blind to what good qualities are because social media DOES indeed twist truth and façade reality.
    Also, many individuals WANT luxury merely to sit and do nothing-but don’t realize it’s a tremendous amount of discipline, effort, and pressure-over a long period of time-to reap the fruits of one’s efforts.

  • @thethesaxman23
    @thethesaxman23 2 роки тому +15

    Courtney I applaud you for trying to bridge the understanding gap between men and women! I think it would be great to have content going forward that is geared towards educating men and women about each other in a constructive way. I think the perspective you’ve gained in your research and experience would be just as beneficial to other women as it is to men!

  • @paigecoffer511
    @paigecoffer511 2 роки тому +11

    People should care more about character in a person than these material things. It's so sad how obsessed our culture has become with showing off their life. I've been married for 8 years to a wonderful man, who works hard at a decent job. He makes no where near 100k, but I don't care about that. He is sweet and kind to me and is a wonderful person inside and out. He has an incredible work ethic and devotion to our family. I see so many people at my age sad and depressed they can't find anyone, especially my gfs and some of their expectations are insane. I try to ground them and tell them to not focus on social media so much, it really distorts your views. They should be looking for men with good personalities, morals, and character first and foremost. Not obsessed with if they make x amount of money.
    We also never see how much debt these influencers are in. We only see what they want us to see. $400k makes me laugh, that's literally the President's salary! Insane to think a 20 year old will have that kind of money already.
    Love your video, you're very articulate and I like that you're not trying to be dramatic or divisive in anyway, but trying to ground people instead. We need more of this in our current culture.

    • @honestabe7373
      @honestabe7373 11 місяців тому

      I agree 💯. I do think women wanting to have a man settled is fine but I was in one of my classes in college and one of the my female classmates said that she wanted to marry into wealth and being rich in this modern world is so damn hard especially considering how expensive rent is in a place such as nyc for example. Their expectations are insane and I’ve been single for about 7 years. It’s hard it really is. I wish the women of my generation would focus more on character in a man than all this wealth and materialistic garbage. When you die that stuff stays here it ain’t going with you when you die. These young modern women are foolish and unlearned going after these guys that treat them like crap. I’m at the point now of not caring.

  • @kingaxel258
    @kingaxel258 2 роки тому +7

    100% agree with you here there definitely needs to be a shift in how we view dating and relationships. I think we need to start asking how we can make that shift and what do we need to do to do that.

  • @abogado84
    @abogado84 2 роки тому +14

    As always another wonderful breath of fresh air from Courtney.
    I’m 38, a homeowner, I make a well above average income (but not top say 10%), am in good shape and fairly attractive, have good retirement savings, good social skills, and have often struggled out there with dating even with being decently confident on several occasions.
    So I relate so well to many fellas here. I feel like a lot of women just demand way too much and have a major sense of entitlement and aren’t even very pleasant to deal with.
    Courtney it’s obvious that your parents did a great job raising you. People just need to understand how hard it is out there for men is all.
    Keep up the excellent work!

    • @christiandatingwithadamkaren
      @christiandatingwithadamkaren 2 роки тому +1

      So few people save money. Good for you abogado84! Hoping that you connect well and confidently!

    • @Mykhos
      @Mykhos 2 роки тому

      i feel you, same thing too. but i'm small guy 🤷‍♂️
      another thing came to my mind this week is that young people only want best they think they deserve, "everyone everywhere" said that. but they do not want the bad, dull and hard parts in se time... ⚠️
      i mean, young people were doing "to do list" and "lover list" but no place to "uncheck" and work for , while having the best options available. ✌️✅️

    • @abogado84
      @abogado84 2 роки тому +1

      @@christiandatingwithadamkaren Thanks - yeah savings is a real crisis in America. I hope that changes.

    • @Runeblade484
      @Runeblade484 2 роки тому +1

      I am also nearly 38, have a house, in good shape, and am close to top 10% income. I probably invest 50% of my income so it doesn't look like I make much (drive a 10 yr old car that is paid off). I can't believe how hard the dating market is these days. I am better now that I was 10-20 years ago but seem to have less options.

    • @abogado84
      @abogado84 2 роки тому

      @@Runeblade484 Dude seriously. The other things to mention, in addition to rude and entitled personalities/unrealistic expectations, are quite frankly other factors that diminish the interest of men, such as single motherhood, obesity, smoking/drugs, tattoos/piercings, excessive promiscuity, and more.
      Just as many men have the same baggage and dealbreakers, it’s very much the same with the women too.

  • @powerhouse884
    @powerhouse884 2 роки тому +6

    Already deleted the useless TINDER app.
    On too of unrealistic expectations, they also use these dating Apps to play games and self validation. So many matches and yet they barely speak to you or have 0 interest in meeting you ever.
    I am definitely putting my time elsewhere now, i also deleted all Social apps from my phone. I am at the Gym again and definitely spending my time in a more productive way now that I don’t waste time on any of these Apps.

  • @PillCosby22
    @PillCosby22 2 роки тому +5

    It’s definitely difficult out here with dating, I make 142k yearly in oilfield, I’m 6’2 , early 30’s, I’m maybe a 5 on looks scale, I still don’t fit the criteria for most women anymore. Im definitely looking over seas for a traditional woman. Finding a good looking girl, low body count no kids in America is rare. I know a lot of men in west Texas in oilfield who struggle with the same issues finding a descent woman.

  • @brendanmurphy2527
    @brendanmurphy2527 2 роки тому +7

    Courtney this video gives me an even deeper level of respect for you. In 2019 I was dumped for a trust fund baby and it really made me do some soul searching. To know there's still women out there who think like you do is very refreshing. Keep up the great content

  • @kennethko1534
    @kennethko1534 2 роки тому +8

    You're the level headed voice the world needs to hear on this, your overall take, along with the preciseness of your nuance is near perfect, as is the tone of your delivery. Thanks!
    I really wish you and your channel the best and hope you can keep repeating the message as you grow your channel larger. I hope this can eventually get into the mainstream without compromising the tone, the nuance of it all, or adding unnecessary, contrived shock value for short term views.

  • @JeremySRRT
    @JeremySRRT 2 роки тому +7

    I’m almost 50. Married twice. Loved both of my wives. My average income the last 20 years was 60-100k. Was used and thrown away by both wives. Lost everything and had to build back. Been divorced since 2012. Been in a few relationships and been cheated on by nearly every one. Drama, lying, demands, wanting constant attention and entertainment. Demanding attention when I’m working and cheat on me when I can’t answer a text message or phone call by an ex bf.
    The last two years I’ve made over 600k walking away from women and focusing on work and myself. I’m accomplishing my goals and decided to learn to enjoy my life without a partner. It’s been the best decision I ever made. I may try to date again in the future but one thing is for absolute sure. No woman will ever have enough power over me to take my stuff again. Ever

    • @firstdefense3789
      @firstdefense3789 Рік тому

      I really can relate to your experiences. Thanks for sharing.

  • @jaycar9079
    @jaycar9079 2 роки тому +5

    All I have to say is God bless you for getting out the word about dating I am an older man and even the older women are living in a fantasy world. The ones I have seen on the dating app's are just nuts there expectations are just off the charts and ridicules. I am in New Jersey and make over 65 K a year and they act like I am a loser because I am not making two to three hundred thousand a year it's to the point that I stopped even looking for a women to be with where I am it's not even worth it anymore the lists are so long that no one could ever live up to them, keep up the good work.

  • @n7offtank
    @n7offtank 2 роки тому +14

    Oh man, thank you so much for making this video, Courtney, and I really appreciate you calling out that 400k example. I remember that video when I heard that girl saying she was expecting the man to make 400k, I was thinking to myself: "why did you pick 400k? Because you are a 4? Heck that level of delusion and self-entitlement was mind-boggling.

  • @Slymphomie
    @Slymphomie 2 роки тому +11

    Heartfelt video 💜 People who date for money instead of love really have no idea how much they’re missing out on. I don’t care if my husband and I ever have money.. we already have everything in each other.

    • @Slymphomie
      @Slymphomie 2 роки тому +1

      ​@@TheNaturalHealthBlogger Those women will hit the wall & die alone with their cats.
      All REAL women could care less about size. We are rare unfortunately but we are out here. and I pray you find one 💜I'm genuinely sorry for the way you've been treated by modern women. No one deserves that.

    • @gerikiss1306
      @gerikiss1306 2 роки тому

      While I appreciate your comment, I find the “love” part naive(I don’t mean it in an offensive way).
      There is no such thing like “unconditional love” between a man and a woman who are in a partnership level with each other.
      There are always conditions. You simply just can’t not care about money, because of the world we live in.
      The difference is, that the money you two are making is actually enough to live a comfortable life or you want to live a luxurious lifestyle.
      Most modern women want to live a luxurious lifestyle, provided by men, yet they don’t bring anything to the table other than their looks.
      Being with someone for the sole purpose of love is not enough in my opinion, because love will fade to something else overtime.
      And that is totally fine, until we realise that the fairy tale love cannot be the ultimate goal of a relationship.
      That is why most women leave a relationship once they got too comfortable, and realise they are not in the same level of “Disney, fairy tale” love they were at the very beginning.
      Now you might be the exception, but that cannot be applied to the vast majority of relationships.

    • @gerikiss1306
      @gerikiss1306 2 роки тому +1

      @@TheNaturalHealthBlogger I agree.
      Most modern women are narcissistic types nowadays.
      But still I have to “argue” on the unconditional love concept.
      The only situation where unconditional love truly exists is between parents and their children or between siblings. And this isn’t always the case even between them.
      You as a man must be able to provide. You cannot be a bum, no matter what because as a man you have traditional responsibilities. Especially if you share children with a woman. Just as women should practice their traditional role.
      That is why is so important for men, to learn to recognise in time wife and mother material women during the dating phase. And after you found that woman, keeping the frame of yourself which allowed the woman to fall in love with you, and most importantly, allowed her respecting you.
      And I mean keeping the frame is keeping her in check, because women will always sh!t test you. Consciously or unconsciously. They will test you if you are still the same man they fell in love with long time ago.
      So that is why I’ve never bought into the “unconditional love” idea. There are conditions of a woman’s love and conditions of my love to a woman too.
      I got standards, and I hold onto them no matter what.
      If a woman want me to be traditional man, she’ll get it. I lead the way in the relationship. It doesn’t mean she has no say, but at the end I make the important and crucial decisions. That is my role.
      If she doesn’t like it, she is free to leave with nothing else than memories. No pay check for her.

    • @Slymphomie
      @Slymphomie 2 роки тому +3

      @Geri kiss I completely agree. I guess I didn’t elaborate enough with what I meant by Love.
      One thing is for sure.. I’m grateful to be the exception

    • @gerikiss1306
      @gerikiss1306 2 роки тому

      @@Slymphomie That is really good that you are amongst the exceptions. 👍🏻

  • @SamC_182
    @SamC_182 2 роки тому +5

    I wish I could find someone like you who understands these things. Thank you for making this video. I'm only 25, been single for 7 years but I'm close to getting to the point of throwing in the towel. I feel like it's impossible to find anyone from my generation. But people like you give me a bit of hope

    • @endlesssky0
      @endlesssky0 2 роки тому +1

      Hey your young and good looking. Don’t go anywhere near towels haha you have your whole life ahead of you, chin up :)

    • @htown335
      @htown335 Рік тому +1

      Bro make your money and go to a country where girls are raised to be traditional women.

  • @YaRememberTHISQuestionmark
    @YaRememberTHISQuestionmark Рік тому +1

    What amazes me the most about you is your calm maturity that oozes femininity and gentleness, BUT without any hint of yielding or meekness. A temperament like this at your age is, to me, so rare in this day and age. Highly underrated channel.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much. This is such a wonderful compliment!

  • @caseybrown2926
    @caseybrown2926 2 роки тому +12

    I’m older (42) and back in the dating scene after an 18 year marriage. Things have definitely changed since the 90’s and 2000’s and your content has been useful. Some of these younger women are immature and ignorant to reality and I don’t mean that as an insult. Society is lying to them and they’re buying it. Guys, don’t get discouraged either. Level up and be the best version of yourself and good levelheaded women will notice and respond favorably to you. There are good women out there

    • @JohnRWF
      @JohnRWF 2 роки тому

      46 and back in after a 19 year marriage. Divorced in 2018. Hit me up and maybe we can encourage each other.

    • @caseybrown2926
      @caseybrown2926 2 роки тому +2

      @@JohnRWF If you haven’t yet I encourage you to read The Unplugged Alpha by Richard Cooper. After reading it and exposing myself to his content my perspective changed on relationships between men and women. I don’t agree with everything he expresses however for the most part it is solid stuff. I became more successful with women. I’ve been in an exclusive LTR for the past year and a half with a cool chick 10 years younger than me and she is definitely a compliment to my life and fits in my frame. I’d prefer not to go back to dating multiple women. It is exhausting.

    • @visaman
      @visaman 2 роки тому

      It's amazing how things have changed from 2000. I was in a relationship then. I would kill to be 36 again!

    • @caseybrown2926
      @caseybrown2926 2 роки тому

      @@TheNaturalHealthBlogger To yourself and all of the other men that believe the way that you’re speaking of I hope that y’all can learn to validate yourselves and not look for fulfillment from women. You will never get it from them. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the size of your penis. If a man is confident, takes care of himself, and can get things done he will have no problem attracting women that will value him. All of these attributes are attainable if you do not have them. Spreading this no hope BS that you are is just as bad as the women that you are referring to. Guys, stop wishing things were easier and make yourself better. I did and it changed my life

  • @samanthab5006
    @samanthab5006 2 роки тому +19

    It's hard for me to watch the girl opinion videos as it's so different from what my friends and I thought (I'm 33). I had one friend who had similar expectations but even now she is happily married (to someone who doesn't meet all those standards). As I get older I get more thankful I'm past the stage those younger than me are in now. Everything seems to be harder.

    • @chaosblade5906
      @chaosblade5906 2 роки тому +4

      For a lot of women I've dated in their 30's and 40's, I've never had any of them have the unrealistic standards that the girls in her previous videos had, so I really think a lot of this is just ignorance about how the world works. Unfortunately, it seems online dating and social media still affects people (both sexes) to continually instill a lot of these unrealistic expectations in younger adults.

  • @patrickbut-not-a-saint9418
    @patrickbut-not-a-saint9418 Рік тому +3

    Even if you were happily in a relationship this is a great channel because it's really sociology and psychology at work. Fascinating insight Courtney. Please keep it up.

  • @Killerfin100
    @Killerfin100 Рік тому +1

    What a fantastic video. I can't agree more with everything you said. One of my good friends is 28 now she has basically been single her whole life because her expectations are higher than Mount Everest. I suggested setting her up with one of my best friends and the first thing she asked me was "is he rich"? Was gobsmacked tbh. I also agree that social media as well as the way love and relationships are presented in movies and tv have completely mutated the way people look at romance. My ex of 3.5 years was a classic example, she believed that hollywood romance was real. She wanted me to play her guitar and read her love poems, and drop everything for her.

  • @garrettlyons9135
    @garrettlyons9135 2 роки тому +18

    Courtney, I’ve watched your videos for many years and tbh I’ve commented on UA-cam channels probably twice in the last ten years…
    This video deserves some positive feedback.
    I’m so proud of the objective work you put into finding the facts about the economic reality men go through! I truly think that YOU and people like you can help turn this dating ship around and bring more awareness to the despairs of the dating market.
    I really liked how you connected the pain with your parents hard work with the realities of today!
    You really do make a difference