Women: Spend a decade telling men that approaching them in almost any social gathering besides a bar is creepy and offensive. Men: Listen to women. Women: Why are men not approaching us anymore. Men:You told us not to. Women: No we didn't, you just aren't brave enough.
Modern technology and creature comforts have made today's woman bitchy as hell. When the world goes to hell and we see world war 3 and violence and struggle everywhere, you will see those same women begging men to save them and protect them. These selfish broads have never been disciplined. The modern man in the modern feminist nations have always given women everything and received very little in return. Throw these hoes in slums of Afghanistan and watch how humbled they become
Many women are finally realizing that their negative, hate filled, misandry has had an impact on men. The vast majority of men will no longer approach women to talk to or ask for a date. I saw a perfect example of this the other day. Whilst having a drink after work with a female friend, we both noticed a reasonably attractive guy, well dressed and groomed who had seen a girl he obviously wanted to talk to. You could see him struggling to overcome his reticence and nervousness, trying to “psych himself” to go and talk to her. After a few minutes you could tell he was ready, he asked the ladies in his group to make sure he looked presentable, he asked the guys to wish him well. Over he went to her and tried to introduce himself a start a conversation. All six of the women at the table immediately stopped what they were doing and openly started looking this poor guy up & down. Two started openly giggling and the the rest were smirking. The guy valiantly kept going, being polite, keeping respectful & not getting too close. By now, all the women where either laughing or just staring at him. He had taken all the rejection he could, apologized for interrupting and turned to walk away. As he did, the whole table erupted into gales of laughter, names were called out, the nicest of which was “loser” . He simply walked past his own table of friends and kept walking right out of the bar. A pleasant, well educated, well brought up guy being humiliated in front of everyone in the bar and then women wonder why men won’t talk to them anymore ? Really ?
Ladies you really need to stop doing this. You're not being the better person by being unnecessarily demeaning to the sincere guys approaching you Actually I take that back, yes keep being unnecessarily cruel to these guys - you're only strengthening MTGOW and deepening the divide between the genders. And that is exactly what I want
This is not new. Never go up alone and talk to a group of women. It is always asking for rejection. Too many social dynamics at play. The girl who is your target is afraid of looking easy to her friends, the ones not picked by the guy feel rejected or less attractive and get mean, her "best friend" in the group becomes super protective and blocks you, etc.. That is why you need a group of guys to go out with. That is where the entire term "wing man" started from. Even when I was younger twenty years ago without the internet, we knew not to do this. If the girl likes you, she breaks away from the group to talk to YOU or goes up to the bar hoping you will talk to her.
Talk to any guy that's actually had a woman overreact and accuse him of being creepy when approaching and he will tell you it's one of the worst things to ever happen to him. It just feels more risky than ever to approach these days.
Yup, women should take the L on this one culturally and start approaching guys. Start building up their own resilience to rejection approach. I worry about looking good then.
@@rogersam1294 that would be nice but i don't see it happening, and a good benefit of women doing that, is that women never risk coming across as creepy or threatening like men do
One of my friend’s marriages is falling apart leaving only a single friend who is semi-happily married. When the odds are that bad even if you succeed, then even bothering to approach when there are this many risks makes dating almost pointless.
Unless you have to see this woman everyday, than being considered creepy shouldn't be that big of an issue. It feels like crap in the moment, but once it's done it is done. You never have to see her again and you can move on.
Bartender for 22 years. I've watched tens of thousands of strangers meet/pick up each other. For most women, the definition of a "creepy" guy is basically any man that they aren't immediately attracted to. Hot or rich guys can often get away with acting like a creep because they''re desired by women. There's a lot more of a chance of an average/below average guy getting called a creep for being nice than a hot guy would for actually acting like a creep. This is why guys think they have to have looks or money to even be able to have a chance with women. Because if you don't, the chances of you getting called "creepy" go WAY up.
That is precisely why I won't waste my time trying to find a woman to date. I prefer solitude and living by myself. I don't want or care about sex so I am truly free to live by myself without any concerns!
@@hamilton9651 Until you fall in love, and with someone who doesn't give you the time of day. Then, life will take a dark turn for you. You won't be looking for it, and you won't be expecting it.
I’m 60 years old and I remember this incredible girl in my early twenties. I approached her and she said, “Thank you for approaching me but I’m not interested.”(Oh! yes, I just remembered she said she was also flattered.) But she said it with a sincere smile. I walked away feeling okay. If girls turn me down like that, I would approach way more. Absolutely.
I had a similar experience in my twenties, which i left feeling pretty good about and okay with. I approached respectfully and got rejected respectfully, "Im flattered but not interested, thank you though". A few years ago i approached a woman in a bar and simply said hello and asked if i could buy her a drink. She laughed, said "hell no" and walked back to her friend group whom i later saw laughing and pointing at me. It shattered my confidence completely and ive often thought of the contrast between those two responses. That was the interaction that stated my "fear of being creepy"
@@johantolli372 That's happened to me too and the best way to look at it is as her doing you a favor. Her action shows she a low value woman and you should feel sorry for the dude that marries or impregnates her one day.
How kind of her. I have had similar experiences. I even had one that was so kind to tell me why, and point out I had a small mouth, and a big nose, and that my eyes were too close together. We men need to truly appreciate women as Gods gift to us, to be able to open our eyes to our faults.
For an introvert like me, if I approach a woman, it takes ALOT of courage. Imagine how devastating it is building up the courage and being blown off or being called creepy after having approached her normally. It takes away your motivation to ask anyone out.
the problem is most women are not going to be into most guys, for whatever million different reasons. The failure rate is going to be so astronomically high that it's probably not worth even trying unless you're getting obvious signs.
@@heathjoints9845 No, to me rejection is a problem every time. It takes me absolutely everything I've got to approach a woman I'm attracted to, and I just can't face the embarrassment of rejection.
@@abolisher lol apparently girls can label guys as whatever they want (e.g. creep/ incel), meanwhile men can barely give a comment to a girl if she might even take it the wrong way. Hardly about being the "main character"
This happens to my son he is 28 very shy and a little awkward around women and gets labeled as a creep one time I was with him in a library he was just talking to a girl being nice after he left I was still there the girl told the library workers how creepy he was she did not know I was his mom I told her your not that great and you don’t deserve a nice guy.She was so shocked maybe I overreacted but I guess I was being a mama bear
You have to accept that your son has lost already in the genetic competition. I am in my 30s as well and I never got lucky. The older you get most likely you realize that you are asexual or you are just naturally cast out from the gene pool due to natural selection. Well, he is 28 and most likely looks like a man now and I don't think you will find much women at this age group at a public library. Most likely he was talking to a high school girl unless you and he went to a college and university library. You have to accept your son as he is and accept that he most likely not be in a relationship no less a father. There are high schoolers and middle schoolers who are sexually active at a young age. If you are in your 20s and have not had a relationship or a sexual experience with a girl in this present modern day, it is best to say that as a man you have lost the genetic lottery.This was difficult on my parents as well, but I also accepted this fact of my reality that I will never get married, have a serious relationship or even a girlfriend, will never have sex unless I pay for it, and will never have children.
@jacqueslee2592 so in other words only the the fantasy 14% of the male population should get the women screw the rest throe them in the trash. They don't etc to be married or have kids. Sounds a lot like cock blocking and vikings, Indians, etc who would go into villages kill the men leave the kids and take the women. So everything are grandparents tried to make better for us we threw it out the window to go back to those days. Fine then let the millions of women fight over the 14% of men that are any good. In fact let's have a hungry games style fight happen.
I don't approach because they're just mean. Rejection is fine, them thinking I'm not attractive is fine but rudeness, smugness and being over dramatic is intolerable. The creepy aspect is part of that. They can ruin you socially, economically and personally just for saying hello to them. Its just dangerous for us.
I dont appoach, I dont even make eye contact. No interest any more. Im fine living alone till death do I part. Heck, some young girl even selling girl scout cookies said "have a nice day" and I didnt even look at her and ignored it as I walked past it. This is how they need to grow up now. They can bear the fruit of their older generations mistakes.
@@puppetmasterblaster I feel as though that mindset is dangerous, though. There's no way all women are intolerable, so giving none of them a chance isn't fair. I'd say your best bet is to be highly skeptical, but be open about circumstances changing.
@@Brisingr73 It's like being given a large bowl of brightly colored candies and being told that 90% are deadly poison. Are you really going to take the chance that you might get one of the 10%? It's just not worth the risk. Besides, those 10% may have been tainted by the rest and will make you sick.
A woman asked if she could sit at my table in a Cafe. We both were there sitting reading a book. I just asked polity what she is reading, by God I was not hitting on her, was just interested because I am a literature buff since my childhood. In return she gave me a speech about to stay in my boundaries. I excused for having disturbed her, payed and left. My stay at this Cafe was ruined and I felt bad. Next time I came back there the waitress, I know her for a few years, told me that woman told her that I am a creepy guy and should not be permitted to have coffee there. I will stay away from women as far as it is possible in the future. We live in a world in which you can not even have an conversation about books between women and men. It makes this world more lonely and sad than it should be. But what can you do. Btw I am 56 and walk with a cane because of a nerve disease. Maybe this makes me a creep. Don't know.
The issue here is you are avg to below avg looking Iguarantee you if you were good looking her tone would be way different that's the issue in 2022 A 4/10 woman believes she is entitled to a 7+ man due to social media
Women and men cannot be just friends. In civilized societies of the past they had very little interaction outside of family. This was by design. I rarely have interesting intellectual conversations with women. We simply don't have enough in common, and the interactions are ruled by what women think they can get from you and what they fear you are trying to get from them. I guarantee if you looked young, handsome and rich, you would have gotten a very different response. It is said that you can tell the character of a person by how they treat those with nothing to offer them. My experience is that women fail this test at a MUCH higher rate than men. I have almost never seen any of my friends act rudely to women BC they were ugly or had nothing to offer. I rarely ask a woman what she is reading BC I know I will probably find it very uninteresting, and I would probably tell on no if she asks to sit at my table.
hm...sry to say, this sounds to me like a 56 year old not reading the room very well, but i wasn't there, i have to go off what you are writing. how old was she, did she engage in conversation when asking to sit down or not, when you asked her your first question did she keep it short but you went on and on... be honest to yourself, did you misjudge the situation? happens to all of us. i had this situation in reverse in a train, a women sitting down asking about the book i was reading. i kept it short, but she just didn't catch on and stayed a bit too long to make it uncomfortable. finally she realized and left without me needing to be rude. seems this women felt the need to make you aware.
My sister labeled a guy creepy because he approached her at Starbucks, clearly she wasn’t attracted to him but I called her out on calling him creepy, I basically told her it was not cool to call him creepy because she wasn’t attracted to him, if it was Brad Pitt she wouldn’t be calling him creepy
100% rejection over the course of 10 years. Most of the time I barely opened my mouth before she would say "ewe" or "gross". I'm not afraid because of how ill feel anymore. I just realized it's absolutely pointless. I don't enjoy putting myself in bad situations intentionally and that's what it's become.
so sorry for you:( i had a guy approach me , but he wasn't my type at all and a bit too old, but i was nice to him and said how much i appreciated his bravery for coming to me and making compliments. i told him to never give up and soon he will find his perfect partner. he looked disapointed as well but i told him, he did perfect but i wasn't the right one unfortunatly. guess when the right one shows up, she will smile at you or let you know trough the signs that she likes you.
@@_earthvisitor333 "when the right one shows up" aaahh the dicotomy of control - things we can control and the things we can't these "when you meet the right person", "if it happens", "maybes" fall into the can't control category. We cannot control when/if someone falls in love with us but we can control our responses when we are rejected. One should never dwell in the things we cant control as it is not healthy. Instead they will find more satisfaction in the things they can control - going travelling, hanging out with friends etc, taking up hobbies also we should stop saying "the right one" - because there is no such thing. There is only the person we elope with but they change over time
It’s also one of the most inaccurate and incorrectly used words in America. It would be more accurate to say stranger, harasser, abuser, etc., but they want to repeat what they hear others incorrectly say.
On your death bed, you're never going to remember any of the people who don't matter in your life. So why would you allow someone who doesn't matter impact you so strongly?
Back in the 50s, the time of our grandparents, it was not considered creepy if a man made a move on a girl, cold approach, or if he complimented her looks, or if he said "I'll follow you everywhere until you marry me", it was not considered creepy if he did that, the women at the time would find it Romantic.. so the difference between women today, and the women in our grandparents generation is that our grandparents had it way better, but as for today, women have made it very very difficult to make a move on them, and even if a guy makes a move and risks getting rejected, they wont accept a man who doesn't fit their list of unrealistic standards, they're not as feminine as they used to be, they're not as wife material as they used to be, not as family oriented, and not as ladylike, and if women tell men to not make the move then I'm sure women will now bare the responsibility to make the move right?.. of course not, because women can act all tough and masculine but are chicken ass scared when it comes to making the first move,
A thing that rarely gets mentioned is how much women LOVE to use men for attention at their expense. I have had women who I knew were in relationships or married hit on me or "position themselves" like they want to get approached when I know that they are not single. They don't care to put men in awkward situations where they waste men's time just to feed their egos. That's why I rarely approach.
This is 100% facts. The women who are married or currently seeing someone are the most thirsty for validation. They will orbit me and give obvious choosing signals. Most of the time, its when their partner is there and watching her every move. My response always is , "What am i supposed to be, the make my boyfriend jealous guy?" Its so entertaining to see their stunned faces. Like a dear in the headlights.
Recently I saw a woman i knew for sometime take a fall. Struggled to get back on her feet, So i thought I would be a gentleman and offered her a hand of support to help her back on her feet. She slapped my hand away and said I was creepy. I was angry and offended. When that happens ladies, men will avoid you like the plague.That hurt and I was very angry. I knew her for years and now I refuse to talk to her,
What a horrible experience. There was obviously something very wrong with this woman. Anybody can lend a helping hand to a person who fell. A few months ago, I saw a woman gently touch a blind man's arm because he was standing WAY TOO CLOSE to the edge of the platform and he began screaming and cursing at her. We live in such a weird world.
+1. Exactly true, Michael ! Same here. I had enough of fakes, chit-chat, meaningless, superficial conversations nobody needs or wants without depth, constant drama queens and toxic ladies, and skindeep behaviour, simply nevermore.
I was at a bar one night, I don't drink much but I like to shoot pool, I ended up chatting with a group of ladies and when they found out I wasn't a drinker they called me a predator and said I was there waiting for girls to get drunk so I could grape them. That really shook me, and made one of the last few socially acceptable places to meet strangers feel like a no go zone.
I wouldn’t let that put you off from going back to that bar. They don’t personally know you, and that level of judgement is unacceptable and more a reflection of their immaturity. I happen to enjoy shooting pool too, and prefer to win games by staying reasonably sober. I go back to the same bar all the time and thankfully have never encountered such stupid comments from girls.
@@BrandonPitt stop with that he won't grow or learn if he doesn't keep trying, forget those girls who said that to him those girls are so full of themselves its not even funny, they need to realize they got to stop abusing there power of making guys be the bad guys,
Got rejected by every woman i approached or fell for. Drained all emotional energy until i don't have any more strength left to do the same again because I know the result. It's not that I don't fall for any woman anymore but just control my emotions and never approach anyone now. Someone is made for you quotes are all bullshit in real life. I am happy to be single now and plan to live for myself and my passions ambitions only. Probably won't go through this anxiety and shit anymore.
Is it really a fear of being "seen" as creepy? Or is it a fear of being me too'ed, hounded, reputation destroyed on line, fired from work, accused of rape, etc...
Exactly. Girl's, like this one, still think "The worst that can happen is she says "no ." RIIIGHT...can you imagine the furor if it was reversed? A woman approached a man, gets rejected, and labelled, and charged, and falsely accused? Women would never leave their homes our of fear. But it's men's job to approach? Lol
All of those. In fact, I had it happen, and it is a legal hellhole. The reason is, where I live, any woman can make any accusation (s harassment/molestation wise) and all it has to be is "an acceptable explanation of the situation" (aka if she says it, that is how it is). However, when a man has to defend himself, it must _be proven to be not true._ Now remember, you cannot prove a negative, and in my case I had to prove beyond a reasonable doubt I did not _think_ it because she felt unsafe because I thought it. An example of a listen and believe law. No more regular employment for me, not for the last decade. But even a woman being brash and brushing past you can result in a court case: ua-cam.com/video/LIG7nXR4LZQ/v-deo.html Imagine the jury saying off you go. A real risk. So why should I risk it at all?
I read a woman complained that a man was starring at her at the gym. The man was blind and still the manager ask the man to stop. He said I am blind. The Manager should have kicked her out for harassing a blind man not stuck up for her. The most ridiculous case I ever read.
..and how many times were women like this actually going to the gym to train rather than show off. she could have gone to a women only gym( which we know are illegal anyway)
@@robertdevoy3119 What i did is , Working on my goals, doing semen retention, workong out, keeping myself busy and whenever i liked someone i had 3 sentences i would ask their name age and number and after that i would keep the rest mystery if she wants to know more then we will plan a date
Another reason I get fed up with approaching women is: They flirt with you with eye contact, etc. When you go up to them, you realize they only want attention, and you feel like a dumbass. Nowadays, it happens a lot. And the number of women who have this behavior and later you find out they have a boyfriend, it's crazy.
Has happened to me so many times! And it can happen anywhere and I've experienced it since high school, university and now at workplaces. For this reason I Always stalk someone that gives me that kind of attention on the Internet to find out about their lives. And when I think back, the only times I thought someone was flirting with me was when they had a boyfriend/husband and kids and thought it would be funny for me to try and get shut down. That's fking evil! And it's also very disrespectful to their partners, they will probably then go home and remind him of how popular they are. And if they realize they've been busted or that you are not going to approach them, they will hate you and try to hurt you, it's like you can't win in any way. It's really hard to even find someone who's just friendly for the sake of culture. I telling you, girls were so much nicer at early high school, after that they become manipulative bitches trying to control the world with terrorizing behavior.
I agree totally a stunning attractive woman suddenly started dancing with me on a night out giving me strong eye contact. Later throughout the night she told me she's married and has a kid charming 😅 thought it was too good to be true and I was right. I'm 30 and honestly exhausted with dating and expectations now iv stopped caring about it all. I can't do with the ghosting and excuses that don't even make any sense. I will more than likely be single for the rest of my life because I won't be meeting women later on in life already with kids fuck that 🤢.
Here's a story of wicked karma, and it's a tale that shows why people need to be careful what they post online. A good buddy of mine was at a locally popular restaurant and approached a really attractive woman. He was polite and joked a bit, he did nothing creepy. She was pretty stand-offish and eventually got rather negative toward him, so he backed off. Well, fast forward a few days, this lady posted a video online talking about being at this restaurant and talking about "this really creepy guy" while getting film shots of him from a distance. Pretty terrible. Now, this guy is a long time best friend of one of the people that own the restaurant, and the people who own the place own about half the commercial property in that city. They've got wealth and influence. Here's how this went down. The owners took this personally. They took this girl to court and sued her on the basis she was publicly defaming their restaurant patrons. I haven't heard how it all settled, but I did hear she was fired from her job due to absences for having to be in court. It just makes me think of that short video a girl posted in a gym filming "creepy guys" which resulted in her gym membership being revoked.
Actual conversation between 2 female friends and me. A guy asked one of them out, and she turned him down. He took it and moved on. Then a few weeks later, he asked the other friend out. She had heard that the 1st one had turned him down and rejected him too. Then, in front of me, they laughed heartily over how pathetic this guy was; perhaps he was getting rejected by every girl in the neighborhood and expected me to join in mocking him. I was so annoyed with both of them. It was a real eye-opener. So no, just "shooting your shot" without worrying about the consequences is not good advice. You risk being labeled a creep and for that word to spread. Your reputation is everything, and once you're labeled a creep, that sticks forever. Even good, sensible women will turn you down after that. Men get one shot, and our reputations are getting more vulnerable by the day.
I suspect you may be drawing some wrong conclusions here. It may be that the 2nd girl turned him down because her friend did because she didn't want to accept a "reject", but on the other hand, your friend's style may need a bit more polish. What do you think? What do you think would happen if you invited your male friend to come along some time when you planned to meet up with the two girls? Do you think he could chat up the 2nd girl and warm her up enough so that when he called her later, he could get a yes, or do you think his chops are really not good enough to make her think she would have a good time? Being turned down by a girl does not mean that none of her friends will accept you. It really boils down to what you have to offer more than anything else..
Iv been called a creep and i never did try approaching anyone... I was loterally jist tryong to play guitar with my friend who wasninvited to a party and i wasnt but i see now he clearly wasnt thay much of a friend cuz he didnt ask them. If i coild go. For me he just left me. To. Try fogire it out and start askong girls bit i forgot all their names wtf and inknow how fucking fickle they are so i coildnt ask their names i had to start askong vague questions got nowjwre and in the end theu said i coildnt go for no reason and later told my. Retarded slut. Ex i was creepy.... Nah they were fucking creepy iv never felt. Such bitch energy was creepy af i felt isolated and alone.
I've heard women say that confidence is a must-have in a cold approach (along with tall, rich and handsome, of course, but not many actually say that out loud). Every rejection dents confidence. Low confidence increases likelihood of rejection, which lowers confidence further and so on. It becomes inevitable that at some point the guys will just give up.
I actually want to share an experience of my own. It's a bit unique from what everyone else is sharing. I was exercising in my University Gym and hitting the heavy bag, and a young woman approached me. She did not say anything but rather just looked at me for a moment, and I smiled and asked if she wanted to use the bag herself. She said yes, but mostly just kept talking to me. I personally like conversations with people and did not mind. However, I was confused, believing she wanted to use the bag and not talk. I asked again if she wanted to use it as I was going to do some stretching, and she responded yes, but instead, I just lazily hit it once or twice. It eventually became obvious she just wanted to speak to me, which, though flattered, I was mostly trying to do my own thing. She kept talking to me, and I engaged in conversation with her, but was kind of taken aback since this was the first time I have been approached while at the gym. She was nice but just a bit awkward, but I totally understood that that happens. She walked with me while the gym was closing, and I stated I had to go to the locker rooms and told her it was nice speaking with her. I got my things and spent about 10 mins in there before walking out. She was standing outside near the locker rooms, and I was somewhat taken aback. When I walked near her, I said in an awkward, hushed tone, "Hey again" and she immediately answered "Can I have your number so we can talk in the future?" At that point, it immediately became apparent she was just nervous and did not know how to really approach someone. I responded sure but really because it was so out of the blue. Afterwards, she texted me at 7 am the next day saying it was nice speaking to me but I was in bed sleeping and those texts woke me up. The reason I mentioned this story was because it was very weird experiencing this but that is all it was for me. It's just awkward and weird. I didn't think the girl was creepy or weird herself. She tried to put herself out there and I really admired that but she didn't do so very well which happens sometimes. I COULD NOT even begin to imagine how bad it would be if roles were reversed. The guy would be labeled as very creepy and a stalker which I get but I think what sometimes woman forget is that some guys, and people in general, aren't so socially skilled and had no intention in making the other party uncomfortable. Long story I know, thanks for reading.
U didn’t like her appearance? What was the reason? Because i did similar things too I started to think that its better that i choose men instead of men choosing me because when u dont choose u only have options that approached you and the choice of all men in the world is then limited to that only guy that came to you. I decided thats stupid (in those rare occasions i reject them anyway) Why u didn’t continue with that woman? The fact that she had approached you made you think she is needy and nit really wanted by other men?
The only reason the gentlemen in comments are acting this way is because it is a very rare thing for most men. But I have encountered the awkward female too. It all comes from over thinking and a lack of self awareness. If a person doesn't know how they are coming off, they will never change.
When I was 23, I was in a bar and saw a girl I thought looked pretty good sitting down. I watched for a moment to see if she was with anyone and she didn't appear to be, so I walked over and asked her "hey, what're you drinking?" She looked at me, scrunched up her face then stood up and walked away. I shrugged it off and 45 seconds later two bouncers grabbed me and dragged me out. I asked them what the fuck, they said a girl complained I harassed her. I told the dudes I asked her what she was drinking and she just walked away from me, and the dudes blew me off and said their policy was if they receive a complaint the dude has to go no questions asked. I haven't cold approached ever since, learned my fucking lesson I guess.
Don’t give in to their wrong ideas. Keep at it (not with that same chump obviously). You can’t let humans stop you, especially if you know you’re not wrong.
My biggest fear is violating someone's boundaries. How does anyone know if approaching someone will not be well received because they just want to be left alone, or consider the location to be safe from being approached by someone in anything but a professional manner?
I have been called creepy, crusty, old man. I served in the Army, worked in Law Enforcement, and was a Firefighter/EMT, and women chased me all the time. Even when I was married and they would still try getting close to me. I was injured twice on the job and eventually had to retire at an early age. I'm 53 now and my wife passed 8 years ago. No one approaches me, no one smiles and if I try to talk to them, I get a raised upper lip and sometimes they call me a pedo. I completely stopped looking at women, I will not approach them, and I will not say hello. I will say goodbye. I'm not interested in anyone ever.
It comes with hypocrisy. Women who call men creepy are creepy themselves. This is the reason I'm making my daughter clean her bedroom, make her bed, and fold her clothes. I've been in women's homes that are a complete disaster, these were pretty women. They don't hygiene either. Tampons over the floor, towel with blood stain period on it. I've been rejected before and eventually knew what I've been rejected by. Eventually, you learn to avoid these kind of women in the beginning. They have issues and emotional baggage. You see it in their eyes, facial expressions, and their walk to avoid them.
I'm glad you mentioned the whole thing with disabilities, because I have High-Functioning Autism. Before I was diagnosed, people used to label me as rude, selfish, lazy and a plethora of other terms because I'd misread social cues or be so absorbed in my own little world that I didn't understand that certain things weren't appropriate. Even though I've had a tremendous amount of therapy and made improvements since then, the thing about Autism is that you will always be prone to misinterpreting certain things. Given how sensitive the world has become, it's even more nerve-wracking as a person with Autism to interact with the opposite sex because one misunderstanding could land me in trouble.
That’s me right there. I’ve known that I have autism my whole life and I like to be in my own world sometimes, but I’ve realized that I missed out on a lot of social opportunities in childhood and my teenage years because I never put myself out there. Better late than never I suppose! 😅
Y’all have some ridiculous standards that change with the wind. Imagine saying you want a guy who’s 6 feet tall or higher, makes 6 figures, works out and provides you a luxurious life, and require men to have it together financially, mentally, physically and socially and yet in the same breath say things like “I don’t need no man”, “if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” or everyone’s favorite “you have to accept me for who I am”. The hypocrisy.
"who’s 6 feet tall or higher, makes 6 figures, works out and provides you a luxurious life, and require men to have it together financially, mentally, physically and socially" That's me... seriously, but so much as glance at a woman and I'm the creepy one! Society is broken and we are all dying alone!
@Loo I became a risk-averse MGTOW who may have unwittingly denied myself the biggest opportunity of my life over self-preservation hashtagging protection. I’m not misogynist; I just tend to ignore women, maybe open the door for them, but extremely casually in the way I would for men. This is more morally upright.
I had a man approach me in the subway to talk to me. I didn't take offense: he was polite and seemed nice. I didn't give him my number because I'm 44 years old and I don't even think he was 30 years old. But I have to say, being approached with respect and kindness really made my day.
It not only will not make a difference, it will crush you and leave your heart and self-esteem battered and spilled out. Plenty of experiences also and it's left me none the least of which drained.
@@jaxonwoods8181, same here. I’ve done that for the last couple of years, and I’ve gotten hardly to almost nothing in return. the only good thing is is that I don’t have regrets of not taking a chance, but still, it’s just painful, knowing that effort really means nothing until you have results.
the trick is to be a devil-may-care type guy full of overconfidence and to be shameless. They talk to women because they aren't worrying about a negative outcome or rejection and they wouldn't feel embarassed. It's just fun for them to talk to strangers. If someone is rude to them or ignores them they'll be like "whatever" and go talk to someone else, or "f--- that b----" and it won't even break their stride, not even a dent in their ironclad confidence. People who are anxious, sensitive worriers with negative rumination just aren't made for social interactions with strangers. We need the circumstances to all line up perfectly for us to even try. Even a basic friendly conversation of Hi how are you? can be a struggle. Going beyond that to flirt, ask personal questions, get a number, ask for a date often won't even occur to this type of person because they'll feel like a deer in the headlights in the moment. Then when we finally try and it doesn't go our way we feel like failures and it makes us want to try even less. The negative memory will replay endlessly in our heads reinforcing the fear and hopelessness. I was in my thirties the first time I asked a girl for her number. This was after she A) tried to talk to me and I didn't reply B) had a group conversation with her and other people where she replied directly to me multiple times C) had a one on one conversation where I had her laughing her @ss off and we were gazing into each others eyes smiling. At that point I'd finally had enough signals to ask her if I could help her bring her things to her car, and then as she drove me to where I was parked I asked if I could get her number and she said yes. All the stars had to align perfectly for that to even happen. That's a slow day for a confident, social extrovert, something they do all the time and it's as natural as breathing. All that practice and experience just breeds more confidence. Whereas the shy sensitive introvert doesn't get much practice and their social skills atrophy.
Regarding rejection, I've been told repeatedly that: Men are used to rejection and it doesn't hurt them. They encounter rejection every day, it is no big deal, and rejection should not be a big deal. If rejection hurts the man, something is wrong with the man, confirming he should be rejected for having such low confidence and low self esteem. I've heard this consistently for 40+ years, in all walks of life; at weddings, parties, work, church, business conventions, you name it. Overall, it is like the setup scene in Tootsie. In this, Jessica Lange's character says she wants a man who is sexually aggressive. When the Dustin Hoffman character does exactly this, she is of course, insulted and repelled. That is a movie, but it mirrors real life. Women have fantasies about how they want to be approached, but in reality, they don't. The whole Mee Too movement has spiraled out of control, from don't have sexual harrassment, to anything is harassment and bad intent on the man. The default assumption is the man is bad.
I'm 60 and single dad. I don't date (too busy raising kids, which is infinitely more important) and so the women in my circles (professionally and socially) consider me safe, which is correct. Here's the clincher! Because I'm considered "safe" I've been privy to COUNTLESS stories and accounts by women (mostly 20's, 30s') about how they "destroyed" a guy for approaching them. The stories are accompanied by much laughter and a good bit of gloating. Mind you, these stories aren't about groping men, or men being "creepy" in the ways you note in this video. Instead, these men were "destroyed", "humiliated" or "totally dissed" because these women just didn't want to talk to them because they weren't good looking, were too old, too young, tooo......something. It would seem women today feel it is completely within their rights to use a scorched earth policy against men, rather than be polite, and it seems much of it is for entertainment purposes. Some of them have asked me my opinion, to wit I have answered, "it sounds to me like you might need to learn some manners" or "Possibly you could have stretched a little and just said, something like 'thanks but I'm not interested'. I'm then told that I'm "old fashioned", "too sensitive" or I'm just sticking up for the guy because I'm a guy. Frankly, I can see why men don't approach women and I find it really funny that women seem so mystified by it.
It has a ripple effect ladies. Good, kind and caring women are suffering the consequences from the ones who don't care how they treat another human being. Men, it's a harsh world but believe there are still amazing, kind and loving women that are looking for quality men.
When society rejects you throughout your entire life, for just simply being yourself, you eventually just stop interacting altogether. Rejection is only a normal feeling if you've dealt with it enough. However, it will just make you stop interacting if you've dealt with it enough.
I'm at this stage right now I just work and interact with the people I work (which I find extremely hard at times) and nothing in my social life I don't have one anymore. I used to be out every weekend trying to chase girls and getting numbers novelty wears off after so many rejections and ghosting the thrill just isn't there for me no more.
@@jacobs3031Avoid people at work as well, I don’t even talk to them unless necessary and even then I make it known that I don’t wanna talk to them. Don’t say hi or goodbye, really frees the mind.
It's too dangerous.. Here's an example. One of my friends was told by a woman that he needed to "Man up" if he ever hoped to meet anyone and what she was getting at is that men are no longer taking the initiative to introduce themselves to women. He takes her advice, sees a woman that he is attracted to in a Costco. He makes some kind of small talk and asks her out. Moments later, he was escorted out by security. It was funny at the time listening to him explain what happened, but it's stuff like this that men are so easily labeled as creepy. My advice.. Do not man up!. Bad advice that was offered from a woman.
No yuo have to do it anyway , if you dont you will never have a woman because there will always be guys who will do it and there will always be guys who do it correctly eeither because of natural social skills or learned pick up, so you have to just risk the consiquences, there is no other way ! and you will just have to accept the possibilty of security being called, you literally have no choice other than to be single forever !
I am a 35 year old kissless virgin, i have social anxiety and a very severe stuttering problem. The only things i ever got from women are rejection, mockery and humiliation. On my 25th birthday i decided to stop interacting with women entirely, there was no point in continuing
@@rayr6278 I am wage slaving for 2 euro per hour. I won't be going anywhere anytime soon, if ever. I have money for food and bills and that's it. Even this internet is a luxury I can barely afford but I honestly don't know what I would do without it.
It’s one factor, along with demographics, social programming, and women out earning men. Of course now that girls have access to it from a young age with TikTok and what not, maybe even the high school environment won’t be an equalizer for guys.
I wrote over a decade ago about how 'social media' is another method that the controllers are destroying societies... Now a decade later, I am still waiting for someone to please prove me wrong!
As a guy who didn't find his soul mate and get married until his mid-30's, here's a couple reasons guys are backing off: 1- if you are shot down often enough or consistently enough, you tend to give up. 2- if a woman brutally rejects a guy in a public place, every other guy watching is going to stay away. 3- if a guy checks a woman out, walks over to talk to her, and gets called a creep, stalker, player, etc, that can easily cause unwanted problems. 4- Some guys (especially those who have been mercilessly bullied throughout their entire school career) lack self-confidence and don't realize their own worth. Something nobody seems to take into account is that men are just as vulnerable to past trauma as women. I was bullied from kindergarten to graduation. After being the victim of some very cruel pranks (by both guys AND gals), consistently shot down simply because I was at the bottom of the social ladder (and dating me would have been an instant KO to anyone's social status), i basically gave up. I can guarantee there's a lot more guys like me than you realize. We might not reveal our pain, but the scars never disappear.
@@guitarista666 Is that what you would tell the Jews in response to their treatment by the SS? Or is it that something having to do with the law and how others were treating _them_ that was the root of the problem? Could that second sentence apply to other situations?
Same thing, I have told female friends the same thing. They all keep saying, men need to try harder. I say back, to hell with that. They don’t like the answer so they ignore it.
I'd say it is the woman's fault more than the man's. There is a type of hospitality when a woman entertains a man who cold-approaches. This is also important if she is not interested.
I got humiliated and insulted about 6 months ago. Felt like the end of the world. It still hurts, but now I have absolutely ZERO fear of rejection. Nothing a woman say or do can effect me in any manner. I am completely free and invincible.
CRIKEY.I WISH THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME.I WISH THAT A GROUP OF WOMEN MADE ME LOOK LIKE A SILLY STUPID LITTLE TWERP OR A LITTLE MOUSE!REDUCING ME TO TEARS LIKE A LITTLE EIGHT YEAR OLD SCHOOLBOY!EMBRACE THE MOMENT!
@@Geoff9001 the majority dont respect you and never will. they get jot from mistreating men. so don;t worry. if one likes you or acts like it, they just want to hurt you and ruin your life. so why even bother approaching at all? You work hard for your stuff. so don;t interact with one. cause thats how you get fausly accused and wrongfully unpresented an no less than half of your belongings given to the one who ruined your life forever!!!!!!
Sorry that happened to you. This makes me so sad to hear men are being shunned or rudely dismissed for just being interested. As someone who loves being approached by men, it’s a sad state for the heterosexual dating scene.
Now a days everyone has to mind their own business and go about their day without trying to interact with anyone at all only when it's necessary. It also puts you on a safe ground by not approaching strangers that you never met before.
For me personally. As a 50 year old man... I care nothing of what people think of me..... Creepy or not. I don't approach women because I'm tired of their games and tests. You either like a person for who they are or not at all.
Hi Courtney. I come from a peaceful place in regards to a reply. I don't hate women and not do I treat them badly. I am a good hearted guy that's been used and abused over the years with the few ladies I've dated. I'm always in it for the long haul and never been a one night guy. Ever... I'm very Sigma/alpha and I don't play games with people's heart and I cannot think of anything lower to demoralise a persons heart n soul. I am no stranger to think there are ignorant people out there that get off on destroying good people and there morals n beliefs as well. So from a good guys point of view.... I don't play games. If you do you will be by yourself and single again. I'm to busy in my life to date idiots that get off on destroying people's heart n soul. Genuine people. I believe that as we progress into the modern age that men and women will be in avoidance to each other. More and more men particularly in the elder age are walking away from romance as the hole idea of it falls into the TOO HARD BASKET and not worth the pain and anguish and the loss of someones vulnerability to be exposed and disgraced. This goes for both sides and I know women of today are victimised in every way these days as well, so it seems that we are just hurting each other time and time again. Im happy in myself, I suffer from depression and anxiety like many others and the only way to live a non regretful life is too not care what anyone else's thinks of you. You want to ask a person out on a date. Go and ask. You don't ask you don't get. Read a women. If they like you a man doesnt have to try, the getting to know each other will flow or not. Being inappropriate is not rocket science. A guy knows full well when he is stepping out of bounds and you don't touch unless you are guiding someone or of the way and even than you do it in such a way that's not invading. Women and men need to go back to the old days. Men were gents. And Women were ladies. Respect for each other was mutual in every way. Nowadays.... I see things that I just shake my head at. I'm happy being and following the ol school ways. If the ladies think I'm old fashioned and don't like being treated as such than this lady is obviously not for me. Simple...... Thank you for the reply... I like watching some of your videos as they are hitting the spot in today's world of men and women. I also congratulate you on having the gusto to bring to light information about both genders that a lot of us don't wish to know about our selves. It's good to know these things for those that want to better themselves and improve themself for their own satisfaction. How to become a Gent is by no means easy for today's young and younger generation, however like any relationship..... It takes work and mistakes and you learn and try not to go down the same path again. Anyone that is doing much the same as me I wish them all the best.... And good on you for seeing through the bullshit of today social standards and acceptance.... Modern world is going down a dark path and and we all know what happens when you hit rock bottom....
I believe it's the hard facts in today's world@@davidhensell6271. Unfortunate on many many levels however I got to say for myself. Since I've let go of trying to fix or control things that don't wish to be I'm feeling rather relaxed these days. Fighting, bickering over silly shit, accepting things that we shouldn't because of love or so called love... Things like this..... To hard and not right on both sides of the fence. We are just hurting each other and giving each other more trauma and psychological issues. When you stand back and take a moment to reflect the history. Ask yourself. Knowing what I know now....... Would I date that person or kind of person again.... I can tell you I'm no fan..... I've had enough.... A shame I am single and the hurt of seeing and hearing my parents dejection of not having any grand kids running around the house to yell nanny and poppy etc..... It's hard to take and it never gets any easier but having to accept a large lump down your throat and get on with life by yourself has to be done and I'm all about ease of life. So I've let go now. Take every day as it comes. Enjoy the positives in your life and love your mates is what I do to accommodate the loss of not having a loved one to cosy up too... Harsh I know.
I'll give you another reason Courtney. It's that a bunch of times women just don't seem approachable. They're frequently running around, they seem uptight, they hardly ever smile, and they are more than likely with their friends in groups, which is a major no-no for most guys. They just don't seem friendly enough to approach. Not all women before someone tries to come at me. But a lot of them do this.
Uhhh... guy here. It's your responsibility to be comfortable, friendly, charming etc so that her mood brightens up. I know some girls might be a brick wall no matter what but most will rise up to your energy level, as long as you don't fall into the "hell no" bucket. I mean, I'm a dude going through all the same day-to-day things you listed and you think I want to be approached either? No, I don't, but if someone is positive and has a good vibe I will be open to it.
@@SkillzKillzBR It's not a guy's responsibility to make a woman feel or act a certain way. It's hers. No matter how how you try, you can't always force someone to feel a certain way towards you. And I was also referring to when we see the woman from afar, before we even say anything, not just when we interact. Yeah you wanna be an a**, that's gonna turn ANYONE off, but it's not OUR responsibility to make someone feel a certain way because we have no authority over that. She does.
honestly i find groups of girls to be easier to approach because they feel more safe having their group there to support them so i'm not as big of a threat to them if i would choose to approach, that and either they are a group of single of women or a group non-single women or they are a mixed bag, sure i might get rejected by the group overall but it's also bigger numbers so there's also a bigger chance that someone out of that group is into me, lots of positives and one negative. like if the majority don't like me then they are just gonna reject me but the ones who didn't want to reject me might actually look me up after when they cut themselves loose from that group for a moment. and if the majority of that group accepts me then i kinda can go for the one i feel most connected with and try my luck and if not they might steer me into the one that actually likes me in the group so there's that. but it's difficult finding a group of women that you generally feel that most of them you wouldn't mind talking to. as for approaching a lone woman, i think it's really difficult because she's gonna be a bit defensive no matter what, and it's really a shot in the dark in terms of chances and it gets very personal very quickly because she feels put on the spot as the woman you are specifically talking to, so you are putting yourself in a very do or die spot, the only way i think to get over this type of thought is to approach several women maybe not in a group but you have someone else right after you know you might introduce yourself to if the one you are approaching first doesn't go well.
One of my former coworkers got suspended and forcibly transferred to another department because the younger woman in his department reported him for "being creepy" because he was overly helpful with her and super talkative. He was like that with everyone, including myself, and everyone knew that it was just his personality type. But the management still punished him because she demanded it. I had several other coworkers that were suspended or fired for similar situations. One gal at work managed to get three of my coworkers fired, all for the same allegations. Each time, it was just a dude talking with her and interacting with the her like anyone else and not walking on eggshells. Made my decision to stay single a lot easier. Less chance of losing my job. (Eventually quit that job but still don't date or approach)
I have known where the exact opposite happened. A couple of dudes in the head office of a Fortune 500 company were called to HR because a young lady at their office reported that the guy was 'anti social'. Essentially that the guy was not making small talk with her and that this was making her uncomfortable [this happened with two guys at two different times, with the same lady reporting them both]. Both of the men were fantastic team members and very good at their job. They just wanted to keep away from this lady unless warranted for work, as she was a known trouble maker. She has been sent several times by the company for 'anger management' training. Ironically she reported the first guy after she repeatedly tried to get the guy to take her out for coffee and he politely refused [The guy is good looking, takes good care of his fitness]. When her attempts to get him to taker her out failed, unbelievably on a weekend she reached the approximate vicinity where she knew this guy lived in a luxurious condo building and gave him a call saying: 'Hey I am not far from where I know you live. HOw about us spending the day together, grabbing a brunch and later going to xyz concert'. He was pretty rattled and politely refused her request to meet him. He kept a safe distance from her at work after this and made any interaction with her strictly confined to work/ business. Not long thereafter she reported him to HR. He was immediately called and given a talking to about improving his behavior so that young ladies in office don't feel uncomfortable of threatened. He narrated his side of the story. He was still counselled to make small talk with her so she is made more comfortable. He eventually left the job. The exact same thing was repeated with another guy. He too left the place worried that some other allegation would be made against him and that HR and everyone will support the lady. So you would wonder what happend to that lady, right? Her reputation within the office grew to the point that people started calling her the 'Office psycho'. Nonetheless, despite further 'Anger management sessions' that the company made her go through, they have not only retained her, but have actually promoted her several times. Last I checked she went on to become a manager, senior manager and now has an ever more impressive title - almost at par with a 'Director'! And this is a company that most people worldwide are fully aware of. And here is the kicker. While this is how this globally well known company dealt with her, there was another incident where a guy who also had 'anger related issues' acted up. This guy was not happy that a team did not meeet an important goal and also didnt inform the higher ups that the deadline would be missed. So he came down to the team's office and spoke to everyone that such an incident shall not be tolerated and he will come down heavily on the team if this was repeated. What happened? He got reported to HR. A few young ladies reported to HR that they are very worried what would happen given his 'threats'. The 'man' was told immediately that the entire FLOOR where this team was located, that entire floor [It is a huge building with several hundred people working on that floor], but he was told that he is banned from ever entering that floor. A week later he was fired! Ironically, the tantrums thrown by that other woman with the anger management issues, were and are much worse, much frequent and crazy than what that other guy did ONCE. He was let go soon. She? Nothing happens to her. The constant explanation given about her is: 'Hey, Miss X? You all know about Miss X right? Miss X is just being Miss X, folks. Dont' take it too seriously'
Here, in MA, there’s a law that took place in 2018 that qualify as harassment at work if you simply touch a woman, look at her , frequently or say something that made her feel uncomfortable among other people and some other if’s….. it’s just ridiculous! The State make us be afraid of approaching the women and it all happened because women and they are complaining about it now….🤣🤦♂️🤷♂️
I am SO glad you brought this up. I think some women's addictions to social media and the ensuing exposure to so many real stories about guys being creepy has whipped them up into paranoia or even thinking that they can get their 15 minutes of social media glory about putting dudes on blast who approach them. I do see female friends blasting out DM screenshots and a lot of these guys ARE creepy and deserve it, but some of them seem so innocent to me and I feel bad for the guys. "Ugh another compliment in my DMs" when it's just a guy saying he liked her jacket or something. OKAY we get it- you think you're hot. As for real-life approaches, a rejection to me used to be of a polite variety. You just took the hint and moved on. But lately I have noticed (and this could even be from joking with someone at a bar or remarking about something in order to start a conversation) that if the girl is with her friends I will get much more rude reactions. Last week at a bar I had a girl give me this dramatic silent sour face when I made joke about the song that had just come up. Then 15 minutes later she and her friends (who weren't even that attractive) just bumrushed this group of 6' 4" guys who wanted nothing to do with them. They had these huge in-love smiles on their faces and wouldn't even take the rejection from the guys. These 5/10 girls are going all-in just for a few minutes of attention from 9/10 guys who have little interest in them. I think I know where these girls will be in 10 years- on Reddit crying about how they can't get a man or how they are repulsed by and fixing to divorce their mid-range accountant husbands. The game now is so messed up and anything beyond a lukewarm attempt at conversating now, I am backing off completely and only engaging with women who approach me. It sounds so bitter, and I am not a bitter guy. I've been with a LOT of women, I've gotten mine, so I feel for the young guys way more. The game just isn't fun anymore.
Wow man You opened my eyes This thing just hit me perfect " the game isnt fun anymore" Wow mannn i dont even have words Uptill now i was searching that how can i be attractive and manly But i just forgot that its not just one sided but a clap is done by both hands Girls also should be more feminine Not just men to be more masculine Uptill now i havent been approached by any girls but now i will not approach any women anymore Thanks man That story of 9/10 guys and 5/10 girls gave me a thought that even if it sounds a little narcissistic but think yourself as a 9/10 guy and the girls need your attention Think yourself as a prize
You are right about only engaging with women who approach you. If a woman doesn’t show by her body language she’s interested in me I won’t bother with her. The old saying is there are plenty of fish in the sea, if a woman shows no interest find someone who does.
It used to be that the worse thing that could happen is a woman politely declining. Now, that's the best thing that can happen. The common result these days is humiliation. The worst thing that can happen today is being MeTooed. There's no reason for a man to approach a woman he doesn't know.
@@latinaalma1947 Psst: You don't. You let the women have the cats, and you get yourself a dog and wait for the Chinese Overlords to move in and put all the women in brothels. Then maybe they'll want us.
A creep to a woman is pretty much any man she's not attracted to. You literally can do and say the same thing to her. If she likes you she'll think it's cute if she doesn't like you she'll think you're a creep. The only dynamic that can change any of that is if you have the mutant ability to read her mind beforehand.
There is this young woman at my gym who is pretty fit - if she wants to use a piece of equipment you’re using, she won’t even ask you but will stand and look like she’s bothered and will just stare at you. I was at a squat rack and got uncomfortable with her staring so I went up to her to see if she wanted to use it because she clearly looked upset. She did but couldn’t even ask me despite the fact that I wasn’t wearing headphones. I was cordial about it, smiled, and it looks like it improved her mood but man it was kind of annoying that she couldn’t even ask but stood like I was in her way. That’s why men don’t approach.
Fit or not, man or woman, she was rude. Her parents/carers have failed to instil basic manners in this one. Her behaviour is unacceptable and she is not owed anything. Her mood is irrelevant too and she does not have a right over you working out in peace. Report her ass to the gym owner if she does not follow simple etiquette.
The pain of rejection is not the main reason why men don't approach, most men are aware that you have to maintain a respectable reputation in order to be successful. Randomly approaching women and accumulating rejections makes for a bad reputation in your social environment. Rejection is not just a defeat to get over, it is a brand no one wants to associate with because it marks you a loser. Reputation is sticky, better not to pollute it.
If you believe approaching women will poison the well, then that attitude is why you are not successful. It's a matter of how confident you are with women.
@The Infamous Shawn Shaw So by that logic, if a man is confident enough in a room with 10 women where 9 of them openly rejected him, do you think the 10th will be likely to overlook the fact that she is the last choice and no other woman has picked the guy, just because he's confident? Or would it not be more likely that she thinks this guy ain't serious and can't get her any status but only awkwardness and shame in that social circle, since none of the other women would pick him? I agree, confidence can compensate for a lot, but preselection is still real. The point is to not waste approaches on unlikely chances, that's not the same thing as "not approaching women at all because it poisons the well", there's nuance to it. Btw you fail to notice two more things: First, we're not talking about me but about the general case. Second, I wasn't asking for any advice and I wouldn't take it from a stranger on the internet who claims his confidence makes all the difference, no offence ^^
Another big thing is most men don't have confidence because we've never been given a genuine compliment about anything. I feel this is pretty common for most men too, even if we pretend otherwise. I
I thought this was just me - I go multiple years between getting a single compliment, so when I get one I get caught off guard and wonder if it's a prank (because that's happened before)
Difficult to build confidence with continue failures with attempting to date women. the confident guys are the guys getting all the women so women want guys who are with all the other women.
This is what drives me nuts about how guys have to approach. If you have social anxiety and a lack of confidence. It makes it very very hard to approach a girl and on top of that you will get girls trying to humiliate you in public and in front of her friends. I was born a shy and quiet person, this is who I am and I will not change that for anyone. That being said, all I’ve every wanted is do have someone who loves me just as much as I love them.
Yes. I can have a good time, but when a woman smiles or even starts talking to me, I immediately go into self preservation mode wondering what her (surely nefarious) agenda is.
Guys, try this line the next time a girl flirts with you or maybe stands too close, etc: "Want to make out?" (you might try want to GO make out if you can't there). She will almost certainly open with "No" but I've found half the time (if you know how to read women) the ones who are offering buying signs will say "No, I mean I do, but I can't now, but later..." and then they will 5 minutes later. But the key is, you sort of expect to be shot down and can sort of laugh like you were being sarcastic.
@@bigneiltoo this assumes that any of us have had any woman flirt with us in x amount of time. I haven't dated in 6 years. I don't even know how to start or where to go to meet women.
@@destructorzz7197 Well it’s obvious you don’t know what it is like being a shy person and it’s obvious you don’t understand. It is apart of who you are and you can just turn it off like a light switch. Your comment is very cold, rude and heartless. You didn’t need to come on and say that. But it sounds like your attitude is to just suck it up and deal with it. I would appreciate you not commenting something so heartless.
I’m afraid to approach a girl as well. I’ve been played a lot and tired of rejection. I’m a very authentic and genuine guy, but a lot of the time, it’s not worth pursuing a woman because they’re becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.
I understand why a bunch of the guys I know have decided not to approach anymore. For me it was just not wanting the drama of it all. In the end it just felt like I was putting my hand into a fire when I know what will happen.
@@Totsugaru keep working on yourself good noncreepy men find a purpose hit the gym write some goals down that you’d like to achieve and they will come to you not you to them.
Over the last month or two, I've been learning about this war on men and masculinity, and it's been so eyeopening. I've wept reading and listening to these videos about how men are mistreated. I can't believe they have to deal with that on a regular basis. Men, know that there are female advocates out there for you. I'm so sorry if you've had a bad experience, and I hope it gets better for you soon!
Until women are marching on Washington DC to demand a reversal to the laws that are out there that can rob a man of everything we have built, I'll reserve judgment on the authenticity of women who claim to be female advocates.
I believe that misandrist led feminism , which is well funded & legally backed , is a major factor. Girls are taught to despise human males in Western countries , from an early age. Sadly , for every woman like yourself , there are many thousands that view men as moronic filth that think with their genitalia.
I am 38 now, my days of approaching women are over by my own choice. I wasn't very good at it anyways lol. For young guys now it must be terrifying given your approach could be all over the Internet or shared around school/college/work whatsapp groups being publicly ridiculed and called creepy or worse. No way would I approach a woman these days even if I wanted too. The only relationships I've had were from Internet dating, was too introverted to approach women in pubs/clubs etc. On the rare occasion that I did it usually ended up with a rejection or sometimes humiliation. That look a woman does when she just basically rolls her eyes and just tells you to go away or she just ignores you or walks away ain't fun at all. Or maybe that just happened to me!
I had similar things happen to me through the online dating. I actually stopped dating completely about 3 years ago. I am now 42, and a woman. It was too painful.
@@Infamous1892 Sorry, I had to laugh at that. I have to ask. What are you doing to get such a reaction as that? Are you serious? If so, you really must do something about your technique.
You approach a woman. She turns you down. You say okay and forget her. But then she starts to worry about what happens next, what is all in her head. Next thing you know, you're in a confrontation with the police who are talking about stalking charges and you have no idea what's going on. It only takes one of these experiences to cure you of approaching women
My theory is this: Modern American/Canadian women have been convinced by radical feminism that a man being attracted to their beauty is shallow, misogynistic, and even sexist. Cold approaching women is a turn off in modern society. After all “he doesn’t even know me” and “he just thinks I’m hot and there’s so much more to me than that” Knowing this is what’s spinning through womens heads is the reason I always let women come to me. It’s becoming frustrating though as these women are beautiful and fun, but display many masculine traits outside of approaching people they’re interested in first which has been the mans role for centuries. Im tired of dating masculine women. And I know deep down, they are tired of being masculine. Feminism has got to chill.
Story time: When I was probably 13 or so, had just hit puberty, I had a crush on a girl. I didn't know her or anything, and we had barely spoken, but I thought she was cute. At some point I was at my friend's place and he was skyping his girlfriend. They asked me if I had a crush on any girls and I said yes, but didn't reveal who it was. They pestered me until I told them who it was, and then said things like "Aw, that's cute. You should ask her out". Literally the next morning as I'm putting my stuff away in the little open cubbies we had in homeroom, my crush walks up to me, visibly upset, in front of the class, and says "Do you like me?". I said "Yeah, I do", and then she goes "Ew..." and walks away. I've had a crippling fear of embarrassment and rejection ever since. I somehow managed to have a girlfriend for a few months when I was 19, but otherwise I've only been into a few women who I waited far too long to ask out and they either had lost interest by that point or were never interested in the first place. I am trying to work on myself now and try dating again, but the current social climate really doesn't give me much hope. RIP. Edit: forgot to mention I'm 30 now.
@@abolisher It was a long time ago, but having that happen at such a young age leaves scars on your mind. Honestly, at the time, while I felt betrayed and rejected, it could have affected me more than it did. It's mostly in retrospect I see how it subtly changed how I interacted with women and made me socially anxious around them.
@@deathdriver23 that’s one girls opinion man not every girl is going to think the same about you some girls will find you attractive other girls won’t it’s just the way it is no matter how attractive or unattractive you look we all see differently. I recommend letting go of that past if it wasn’t good why remember it especially if it does damage to you right now or in the future. Me and some girl split up because she wouldn’t let go of her past from abuse cheating lies so she assumed every guy no after him would do the same. It’s not healthy for the healthy party to deal with such things no matter how much you care about that person.
*With social dynamics and dating expectations changing, it's understandable why many men feel hesitant to approach. The focus on how confidence can now be misinterpreted as intrusion is eye-opening. It’s a reminder of the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in today’s dating world.*
I completely stopped approaching women years ago and feel I'm better off in my life ever since. When I was younger, the whole rejection aspect was terrifying, but now polite/respectful rejections don't bother me. However, there were a few times that rejections I received were actually malicious with a clear intent on public humiliation. Like how dare that I even considered approaching her. Those stung deep. There's a core issue at play here in the dynamics between men and women. I think it's something like 85% of women only want to be with the top 10% of men (the exact numbers may be off, but not by much). For example, women who are 4s - 6s feel like they're really 9s or 10s and therefore only want men who are also 9s or 10s (which is less than 10% of the male population). There's a dark trend with having standards that are too high and unrealistic. They gotta be > 6" tall, gotta have a 6-figure income, gotta have the chiseled physique, etc. At the same time, a lot of those women are themselves out of shape, yet demand to be treated like princesses/queens, and use sex as leverage. There is no accountability in modern society. And that has unfortunately led us to the state we're in with movements like MGTOW and a lack of desire to even attempt to initiate dating/courting relationships. The other 15% of women who do want to be approached and don't have unrealistic standards are feeling the pain that has resulted from how the 85% have been behaving for the past few decades. Courtney is spot on calling these bad women out who have ruined it for everyone else. And you know what is ultimately to blame? The modern day 3rd wave feminism. I'm not anti-feminist in the least. Everyone, regardless of gender, should have equal rights, equal opportunities, equal treatment. But modern feminism isn't about equality. It's about denigrating all males period and promoting that all females are superior, regardless of the content of their character and how they behave in life. This is the antithesis of equality and is leading to the downfall and collapse of western civilization. BTW, I raised my daughter since age 12 as a single parent full time through her attending college. She's an adult now and in a healthy long-term relationship with her boyfriend. He treats her right and she treats him right, and I could not be more proud of the young adult she has become. Because of this, part of me does have hope that maybe not all is lost in our society and with real introspective and accountability, our civilization could overcome this dark age we're living now right now.
Love this comment ❤ Glad you brought up MGTOW… It was shocking to me when I first heard those statistics about women but the more I learn, it’s absolutely true 😢
I’m just glad that you were able to bring a child into this world. When I was younger, I wanted to be the father I never had. That ship has most likely sailed.
Yes, for 6 decades women have had their self esteem pumped up. Its so sad its funny, a bunch of obese women at a bar with minimal incomes talking about how they deserve the best. if it wasnt sad, it would be funny.
I definitely do not approach any woman anymore . I give a small smile and some eye contact and for the most they don’t wanna be bothered or look like they don’t wanna be bothered. I’m 46 I’m used to rejection that’s not a thing anymore. I was married for 20 years and I’m single now and the game has 100 percent changed from 22 years ago. I’m good staying out of the market for now.
I'm just a year older than you, but never had been married. Yes, in today's society (hypergamy) unless you are a certifiably top 10% man, there is absolutely no reason to persue women. Now in real-life, if the moment pops up where I want to compliment a woman, or a co-worker, I do. Granted I judge every moment. With female co-workers it's super dangerous if you don't know what your doing. Remember, I'm not looking to be involved with these women, but if I feel like complimenting them I will. I'm still attracted to women, and I will voice that attraction (in appropriate ways). I know it will go nowhere, and I don't even care about the response. Most of the time it's positive and friendly.
@@OriginalTodzilla Dude you’re flirting with disaster complimenting a co-worker! Just saying! There’s an old saying… never dip your quill in the company’s ink 😎
@@OriginalTodzilla You sound like a smart and reasonable man, but you should keep in mind that there are women out there who do not live by the "reasonable person" standard. They might try to trash your life for basically no reason at all.
Women genuinely seem disinterested even after you've made the approach and broken the ice. The conversation is usually one-sided and its all just really draining after youve heard "no" in just about every way imaginable. For that reason I've decided to throw in the towel. Honestly when i see attractive women in public i avoid even looking at them. Dating just isn't "fun" as a guy, not for me at least. Just a bunch of anxiety followed by one sh!t test after another. I've learned to love my own company and enjoy other things while being single. There's better things to do with life that don't involve feeling like you're walking a tightrope for a woman's approval.
You can live your best life being single too. I feel like the longer the wait becomes, the easier it is for you to focus on becoming your best version. However for me, I'm still willing to try dating if given the opportunity. Some women say you need all of these checkboxes to start dating, but who says I can't learn those things while having the relationship begin sooner? The longer I wait, the more suspenseful it feels especially if I desire it.
Exactly, you can hang out with buddies, play video games, work out if you want, invest your time in your job or career, watch movies/series. All that stuff sounds more fun than risking rejection
Рік тому+7
Sometimes you don’t even need to do anything. Not look. Not talk. And women will act like they are being harassed. All pretentious. Believe me. That didn’t happened to me when I was in shape and with hair. All of the sudden is like a metamorphosis that this people feel so uncomfortable. And so refreshing when you talk to that 100% that realise that you are just a person. I am not talking about trying anything. Forget about that. Just breathing in the same room.
Thanks Courtney, I'm part of that 65%, I've been watching your videos for over a year. During that time I've lost 115 Lbs. I work out every day. I've gone from a 46 to a 34 waist. I have used your video's to change my fashion (my son has also help me in this area). I'm working on my confidence. I finally asked someone out for this weekend. I hope it works out. The reason I haven't asked it that I was afraid of looking like a creep. Thanks for all your help.
Me too i love courtney divorced 53 i watch chair before i went shopping don't get discouraged date in the us get your passport lemon outside of the us will change your life i'm here in the philippines since october more days in 1 month then i had in several years when i was young before i got married
I have a feeling this video is the endgame for all men. What it all boils down too. I met someone 2 years ago who wasn't creeped out when I approached her - but sucks she turned out to be very narcissistic. Taking a break from relationships, I have noticed an increase of these situations lately. You have to look like a Giga Chad in order to approach. I recall someone even back in 2008 when a random woman was yelling saying she won't mind if a Hugh Jackman came up to her and swept her away. I avoid those types of woman like the plague ever since, and from the looks of it - its gotten worse lol
In my experience focusing on women is stupid. Focusing on bettering yourself will inevitably draw women towards you. I think dudes need to stop focusing on trying to get women; especially young dudes
Men get treated as a threat to women and children, until proven otherwise, on a regular basis. Which I think creates nervousness in men. And then with that mindset men are likely to behave in an unconfident way that women find creepy. Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle.
In reply to a couple of similar points that Courtney made, which are all well taken. First, being seen as "creepy" or some very negative reaction is a real deterrent to not only approaching a girl but also making a move physically after a number of dates. Many times, I can sense when a girl wants me to initiate a kiss or a touch, but not always or it can be unclear how far she wants you to go. I have had situations where I can tell and so I take them in my arms and kiss them and we go as far as she desires, which is clear. On the other hand, I have had situations where I don't sense any sexual interest and then the girl does something odd such as lunge at me or lie down on the floor in front of me. I have been so taken off-guard by these antics that I have frozen. This type of lack of clarity came up in one particular case that still haunts me. I was in a very serious relationship where I had very strong romantic feelings for the girl. We would kiss some but that was about it. Then one night she asked me to spend the night after a late night date. I had to drive about 70 miles to get back to where I lived at the time and so that was the pretext of her inviting me to spend the night at her house. We kissed a little on the couch but it did not progress, as usual. She then showed me to the spare bedroom and she gave me a toothbrush and some toothpaste. I watched her carefully but did not sense anything sexual off of her. Even though I had strong feelings for her, I sensed something was not quite on an even keel with her. I knew that she liked me but there was something behind the scene that I could feel was interfering with her opening up to me more. In fact, she had not opened up to me at all in terms of her past or her family or much of anything. Usually, a girl whom I am dating goes into a lot of depth and detail with me by this time in a relationship. I later found out that she came from an extremely wealthy family. When I discovered that, I could see one reason for her being hesitant to disclose her family background with a man until she could fully trust him over an extended time. But there was more that I was sensing. The next morning when I got up, she greeted me in a friendly way and we sat on the couch snuggled up together before she fixed us something to eat. After a few minutes, she asked me why I did not enter her bedroom naked and jump into bed with her and make love to her. I was shocked out of my mind by her looking into my eyes and demanding to know why I did not push myself into her bedroom uninvited. I said point blank, "If I had any indication that is what you wanted, I would have done that very thing, but I did not get any hints from you to do any such a thing. I had thought of it and would have liked to join you in bed, but I was afraid of the possibility of you starting to scream when you saw me aroused and naked coming at you and then you calling the police." She smiled and we went onto something else. Then she showed me some pictures in an album taken while she was in college. This girl had an edge to her personality. She admired the character of Ann Kelsey on L.A. Law and acted a lot like her, sort of with a constant chip on her shoulder. When I saw one photo with her looking off into the distance, I said, "You look sensitive in that picture." She turned to me and said with anger in her voice, "Yeah, I used to be that way and then I found out that is not the way to be!!!" She closed up the album and stormed into the next room. When she came back, she said," Chris, I am not going to to cater to you!" in a very harsh and hostile tone. She went ahead and fixed us hamburgers but then during the entire meal, she just glared at me as if she hated me and repeated the same refrain, "Chris, I am not going to cater to you!!!" I became totally disoriented. She said at the end of the meal that she had to go to work, which she had already told me before this outburst. She repeated the refrain again as we walked out the door and she said it again as I got into my car. I never saw her again. That broke my heart, but I was not shocked. She had told me earlier that she had exploded on the guy whom she was dating just before me. He was a Navy flyer and had made a comment in jest about her less than perfect eyesight (I knew another guy previously who wanted to be a pilot and he was obsessed with strengthening his eyesight because at that time the military would not take men to train with less than 20/20 vision, so perfect eyesight is something constantly on pilots' minds and which they are anxious about). She told me that when he said that, she jumped off the couch and demanded that he leave immediately. That is when she turned to me. But then I got the same treatment a few months later from her. I suspect that I had accidentally stumbled into reminding her of another young man who had exploited her and hurt her deeply when she was in college, and she was exploding in anger toward this pilot and me with her real target being a jerk in her past. That residual anger is what I was sensing earlier and so guarded myself when being with her. I am afraid with the Sexual Revolution and casual dating, this sort of thing lies behind the current trend of women's cloistering themselves from men and over-reacting when men approach them or do something that reminds them of being taken advantage of sexually. This problem of damaged women is epidemic and is at the root of the difficulties that sincere men face in approaching women. It is rational for men to be extremely careful in how they do approach an attractive girl. This same problem came up in my marriage when my wife believed I was committing adultery, which I did not, every time I was a few minutes later than she had expected me to arrive home. Her first husband was a serial adulterer and his having a child with another woman ended my wife's marriage to him. She kept re-living that hurt with me even though I never gave her any rational basis for her thinking that I was not faithful to her.
I got yelled at once by a girl because she'd came over to watch a movie.. we'd never done anything even remotely sexual together before or even talked about it or been flirtatious really at all.. She was mad at me because I never once made a move on her during the movie we watched together... I was like.. I never picked up a hint that you were open to me making any moves so I was being respectful and didn't want you to feel pressured outside of your comfort.. I have 3 older sisters so I can sympathize with the aftermath women feel when they've been taken advantage of and growing up I'd always vowed to not be that guy... I just found the whole situation mind blowing... whole situation really put me off from ever talking to her again..
I don't talk to random women or even make eye contact if I can avoid it. I keep myself focused on working out, finances, and my other hobbies. When I'm at work I don't socialize with female co-workers and if I have to meet with them it's never behind closed doors or outside of the office. Years ago I dated frequently and enjoyed it somewhat but I'm honestly happier single. For me there is no fixing the dynamic anymore. I'm just done.
I’m happy you’re taking care of yourself. That’s super important. 👍🏻 I’m a wymen lol 😆 I mean woman, and yeah, I understand or at least try to understand what’s it like for men right now (I have 2 brothers) and I definitely want men to feel good about themselves.
I once extended my hand to help a girl getting off of the bus so that she does not slide on an icy ground, she looks at me as a creep. I instantly regretted it. Since then, I stopped offering them help in public. If helping in public make you look creep, making a conversation can get you SWAT.
Bro, don't make life changing decisions on a single event like that. Some women, like some guys, are peckerheads and when they do something dumb, it should be water off a duck's back as far as you're concerned. You should continue to be a considerate guy, just next time be sure to ask if she would like help first. If she says no, and if she says no in a graceless way, just realize that you are a nice guy and you are a better man for it. The human race is deeply flawed, but that does not mean that you have to be. You can be better than that, and your life will be better for it. Some fools think that being nice is the same as being weak. This is not at all necessarily the case. You can be basically a nice guy, but still be strong and self-confident. It doesn't mean you have to fawn over anyone.
@@guitarista666 talking to one before knowing if they are going to lie and get the thrown in jail, just cause they were bored for that hour. is just asking to get deleted off the planet
I stopped approaching altogether right out of high school. It's never EVER been worth it. All my relationships are basically from casual conversations or them being interested in me and I'm completely OK with that. It's not worth the stress and waste of time approaching women. They are the selectors after all, let them choose.
I stopped approaching because it's just simply not worth it, the last girl i tried to approach was last year, she was a good looking red head, she worked at smart and final as a cashier, I tried to strike a conversation with her how she looked like mary jane from spiderman, she smiled and replied she looked more like a Donna, I liked her and i wanted to get to know her, the second time I went, I wanted a excuse to come and see her at smart and final, so I went to go buy a gallon of milk, even though I had 2 gallons at home already😉, I was lining up to her lane to check out my gallon, then she saw me, I saw the look on her face, she look discomforted, and when it was my turn to check my stuff out, she left, and another employee checked my stuff out, after I left I looked from the window from outside and she was back to where she was cashing customers out, this hurt me so much, I really liked her, and I wanted to get to know her, I never wanted her to feel this way, I had very good intentions, I wanted her, I looked her way and it wasnt appreciated, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,☹, I stopped shopping there for so many months now, because I was afraid she would've called the manager, and banned me from shopping there in the end I didn't mean to be a bother, all I wanted was to get to know her in baby steps, now I see it's not appreciated, so i stopped, I got really so sad about it, I didn't mean to get her like that, all I just wanted was to make a move without being perceived as a threat, now I see that no longer possible, but if women want a relationship and dont like how the guys make the move then women should be the ones to bear the responsibility to make the move, let women know what it's like to be in the shoes of a average male for a change, let them know what it's like to be in the shoes of the guys they rejected, men are done with the go get her game, because women have made it too difficult for not only for men to approach, but for other women who do want to be approached, they are killing it for the girls who do want men to look their way,
@@JohnSmith-pl4sf Look after yourself first. Become better mentally, physically, financially etc. Surround yourself with good people and set personal goals. Life will continually test you. Getting stronger will help you overcome these tests. No one owes you a relationship and vice versa. If someone wants to be with you they will be and if not, then no problem. All the best.
I know I’m no oil painting. I’m only 5,2 and have a disability that gives me painful tremors in my legs so I always look sketchy and nervous. When I’m not. I m a naturally helpful and kind person . Not a simp I give respect to anyone who deserves itI I saw a beautiful woman at the shops and gave a polite smile. She called me a sexist . That can damage a person move than any disability
It's nice when someone talks to you like a human and not yells how much of a beta you are for being rejected. You have a really good approach, thank you for your insight!
My pronouns are, "I don't want to go to court!" :) Btw thanks for advocating for men in a kind way and also, communicating to women kindly. Some people with your kind of platform are harsh and it creates more conflict than progress or learning lessons on both ends. You're a great mediator, thank you!
a friend of mine is going through it now, trying to stop a girl from hitting him by catching her hands and arms and HE went to jail, he is shook to the core about his job, kid, house and future, they just aren't worth it, steer clear seems to be the best advice.
I’m married but I feel sorry for single guys. We’re told on tik tok, IG and fb that we aren’t supposed to approach women at the gym, the grocery store, on the street or pretty much anywhere else. Look overseas men!
Makes sense to me, maybe the real issue is white American females.. You're basically a creep to them unless you're hot, rich, famous, or have a bbc it seems. It's all Disney's fault with that princess bs still tbh.
I have an uncommon spinal deformity so it is almost pointless for me to approach women like that I would be labeled as a creep instantly and people love to make negative assumptions about my body. When I was younger I was harassed so much for it that it made me want to be reclusive in my 20s. It seems hopeless that anyone would look past that, it seems like the deal breaker for everyone
I think a lot of women get satisfaction from humiliating men who are interested in them, or just in general. All the success I’ve had with dating has been from women approaching me first. That seems to be the way to go nowadays.
This is great and all, but what if women either don’t approach you, or it’s YEARS in between women approaching you? 99% of the men that watch this channel are getting ZERO approaches.
@@holleringsmith3837 I’ve never been approached and been single for 10 years. The older I get the less interest I have in even putting myself out there. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be, and you need to make the best of your life regardless.
When she says that she’s not interested in you sorry to say. I met this girl we talked for a bit and she gave her socials even after knowing she was in a 5 year relationship with someone .
Girls will make exceptions for men they like and barriers and rules for men they don't. One of the workers I supervise got a chick's number even as she explicitly stated she already had a boyfriend. Meanwhile I had a woman agree to multiple dates but got ghosted on all of them due to "family issues" (she was actually getting blasted by Chad at the club).
I'm one of the 11%. I'm 5'4" and have a mole next to my nose. I have accepted the fact that attempting to date in today's society is just nearly impossible on top of being labeled creepy. Aside from surgery and becoming "unnatural" and prefering my women natural it's a real struggle. I attended a cousins wedding one time and was having friendly conversation with a friend of hers from out of state. She wasn't my type and I wasn't even attracted to her so it was just normal questions as far as I was concerned. I asked her "Where are you staying?" and a look of visible discuss came over her face as if I was trying to get her to come home with me. I don't even remember what her response was, but I know we didn't interact the rest of the wedding. I was so upset that she even thought that was my intention. It's left a scar on my social interactions. Now I don't even attempt to flirt unless I get the feeling she is flirting with me first which never happens and I'm mostly put in the friend zone for this reason. I've got plenty of girl "friends".
I'm 71 and gave up 30 years ago. I was a male model and successful actor in local theatre often getting write ups in the paper. I was a blond, blue eyed Southern California surfer. I didn't have squat for money but they didn't know that, hahaha. I was also an Ivy League graduate, from a family with, shall we say, significant resources, although I didn't ever rely on, or seek that, or even think about it. In my my mind I was just another guy trying my best to get somewhere in my profession. But this was California, and no one knew any of that either and wouldn't have cared. The point is, I was what they call now high-value, even if I didn't myself think so in those days. I was also extremely shy and a complete introvert. But I tried to overcome it. the modeling and acting came from my attempt to grow past it and helped. Nevertheless, my self esteem was destroyed by what I would experience there, as you'll see. Even in the prime of my youth, in the late 70s, I seldom approached women because I never got a look or a smile or a flirtatious sign. Instead I got the most angry, mean looks of hate and revulsion. Like a combination of about to throw up or scream for a cop. Everywhere, passing on the street, in the grocery store, at social gatherings, and worst of all in the clubs. That cut into my soul and hurt so much. It wears on you. Over and over and over, what is reflected back to you from the women in the world is that you are scum, a hideous, dangerous monster. It's not easy to maintain any level of self confidence receiving that endlessly day after day. I always thought it was me. Why did they hate me, they don't even know me? It was actually somewhat of a relief when I heard it wasn't just me, and it even had a name, Resting Bitch Face. I had often felt it was me that caused it, or my subconscious psychological filters that made me see it that way. Even in bars, dance clubs, so called pickup scenes, that's all I saw, aimed at me. I rarely, almost never, approached them at all. Anywhere. I found it not only mean, but off putting. Why would I ever want to spend time with a woman with that much visible anger, which read as hatred and fear of men. It read as the non-verbal message: "get the hell away from me!"? But still it hurt deeply and compounded over and over... If I got my courage up and just went for it, crossed the 1000 mile wide dance floor in front of the whole crowd, and asked someone to dance, almost always rejection. Occasionally they were just not up for dancing at the moment, and that was clear, no harm no foul, but more often she'd slash me with some vicious cutting remark, and she and her friends would laugh. If I stuck around, brushing it off, which was tough, I'd see them talking to other people in the club, glancing at me, and then snickering. This just snowballed and snowballed. This is already way too long, but I got carried away setting the scene, and I'm also a writer. I'll try to wrap up quickly. By the time I hit 40, I was having deep depressions, suicidal ideation, and was falling apart. Then I got evicted during the housing boom, as they wanted to cut the house I rented into condos. My 95 year old grandmother was living alone back east and had a fall, so I gave up my California surfer dream and acting dream and went back and lived with her. I never even tried to go out again and meet local people. When she passed a year later, I bought a little cabin in the country and I've been here alone for 30 years now. I'm happy but lack touch and kindness. I don't get lonely surprisingly, but I do miss companionship and just someone to talk to. I don't know why or how I came across this video, and others like it, popped up in my suggestions, but these algorithms somehow can read minds. LOL It's tough for all of us. Always has been and got way worse when the *ahem, wink wink, nudge, nudge* "cultural shift" that started in the early 70s consumed the women in my generation, then spread across the world, just as I was coming of age seeking dates. It just gets more and more extreme. Now we're toxic and all in on the patriarchy, controlling and oppressing women because we look down on them as inferior and believe we are "entitled" to their attention and respect, and of course their submission and sexual favors on command. I just turned 71. I'm now very 'financial secure' due to my own earnings saved by 25 years of solo living, a low cost lifestyle, and a surprisingly large inheritance. l can go and live anywhere and buy anything I want. I have no interest in material possessions though. I could provide for a wife, and children and be a full time partner and father. But all I want is someone who will be kind to me. To notice me, to appreciate me. Just to smile at me. Not sneer at me like I'm a creep. Old white straight men are the most reviled and despised and blamed demographic on the planet. Yet we're supposed to have a lock on all the power, and privileges and rule the world. So Courtney, do you think I should get myself out there again and just try? (p.s. Courtney, I really appreciate your videos and understanding, immensely. I'm not trying to be snarky, just realistic. It meant everything to come across these the past few days and gives me hope. Thank you so much.)
I am 36, persian male. I get dirty evil looks from western women for existing. But I started learning Japanese and hispanic women are around me these days. It's night and day difference. I get mad love and I do take care of myself with dieting, exercise, hair salon, shaving and dressing well. Western women are too hateful. Did you try dating outside the western?
I used to go for a walk at lunch on a walking path that went by several businesses. I would see all sorts of people walking it and I would give a head nod, or a smile when I passed people. Guys would almost always acknowledge me, but not one woman in 7 years would. I just don't even bother any more.
I work a glass fabrication job and earn 40k a year before OT. I'm 5'5. I am not fat but not shredded and play airsoft on some weekends on top of 3 days a week at the gym. I'm not on the radar, and the fear of being asked to leave a place of business because someone said I was being creepy is my biggest fear in modern times. I just keep to myself, keep my head forward, headphones in, and finish my business before going home to my dogs that I would give the world for.
Being called creepy is the most dehumanising thing I could experience it hurts me so much and I’ve had it happen so I know from experience and it makes you feel very filthy
@@Anonymous-pt6sv Honestly I feel you in a way, as an super awkward girl I always fear coming off that way but, I guess since im female people just see me as funny, or nice, or cute or some shit. I'm sure if I was male I would get the same treatment. The only difference between us is I'm the same but, get treated much better. I hope your ok now, try not to let it replay too much in your head or you'll drive yourself into depression.
Yes, I am a failure on all levels. I picked the wrong major. I failed at engaging in crucial conversations. I burned out of civil engineering at the age of 32 after years of nightime chest pains, not being able to look at myself in the mirror, and having nerveous breakdowns by afternoons. I got tired of pretending to be someone I was not. I am now 57 and worked on low level, near minimum wage jobs since I resigned from engineering. So far, I have interacted with only five women during my life and each one ghosted me after a relative short time. I have a congenital severe hearing loss from birth. I never really had any father figure, except for a cool trombone instructor (I ended my university years with two credits short of a minor in music). I am a square peg in a round hole. Clearly, I have nothing to offer any woman, so I do not waste any of their time by putting myself on the "dating" chopping block. Sigh. I live in isolation and can easily imagine myself being thrown out onto the street to join many other useless, invisible homeless men.
Here's where I'm at now. I'm 29, introvert, shy, socially anxious. For most of my life I was in love with some girl. There were girls who I've never even approached, there were times either I confessed or privately told about it to a "friend" who then spread the word around the class in school and the others either mocked me for it or were just laughing at me behind my back. With other girls I previously formed a friendship and when I confessed they shut me down immediately, one of them was seriously rude to me. There was also one who really made me think she was in love with me. Our "friendship" even got to a point where said things to me like "I miss you" and "I love you"... but when I wanted us to be more than friends, she insisted on that she never considered me more than a friend. Actually, I had to comfort her because she was devastated that our friendship is now ruined. So, it was all hell. With the last girl, when I was 23, I did everything I could to not fall in love with her because at that point I realised if I'm in love with someone I screw up for sure. I tried to be more strategic. She had a boyfriend for a while but I decided to befriend the boyfriend so that I can be around her. Also the guy didn't seem to be the loyal type. I was right, they were together for a year then the guy left her for someone else. Long story short, I asked her out, she said she only liked me as a friend. Anyway, it took me some time to get over it, but finally I realised something. All my life I was in love with love itself, the idea of it, and projected onto someone I found attractive. I thought a lot about this and I think in my childhood, all those Hollywood movies and fairy tales showed me that the hero can't find happiness until he/she finds love. And then the two of them live happily ever after, right? Well, I definitely felt unhappy. I never had any siblings, didn't really have lasting friendships or friends that I could trust or count on... and I was always shy and awkward around people. So there was this idea that "finding love solves everything". Well, it just gave me misery. And the thing I realised is that labeling a romantic partner as "your other half" is not healthy. I felt that I can't be happy because I'm not complete. But here's the trap: expecting to achieve happiness from another person just won't work. Even if I had managed to get a girlfriend, I don't think it would have been a healthy relationship. I finally decided that I need to find my own happiness alone. And then find someone who found her own happiness so we can share our happiness with each other. (I'm not trying to spout universal truths here, I'm talking about what will hopefully work for me.) So that's what I've been trying to focus on for the past 2-3 years. I'm not there yet, but I definitely feel better. I don't care about girls now. Even if there's someone I find attractive, I just couldn't care less. And it's soooo liberating. Well, that's the story of why I don't approach women. :D
As a man, I am super careful in social situations. I was on a plane sitting next to a woman. I did not speak to her nor try to start a conversation because it appeared she did want to do so. I'm really cautious about what I say to a woman whether it be in a business environment or everyday life. Respecting boundaries and being cautious makes my days more enjoyable and keeps me from hassles.
Nope Courtney. We're not "putting ourselves out there" anymore. Too risky. Most of us aren't rich. We can't afford getting fired, arrested, sued, smeared online, or have a restraining order filed against us over a woman. I'm almost 42 and I've accepted my fate. I'll most likely spend whatever's left of my life alone. And in the end, nothing matters because you have to lose everything
I'm near 30 feel the same way, at least we can say we tried. I'm not even interested as I were in my teens and early twenties anyway. It would if been lovely but we don't get what we want in life.
I once approached a woman who I thought was pretty. I asked her how she found out about this particular social group. The first word of her response was a loud "Ewww". And she immediately went into some big spiel about not having daddy issues. I had never even heard of that topic before that. I had no idea what it meant. And I was about 30 while she was maybe mid 20s. And all I asked her was how she had heard about the group. She was attractive before that, but not after. I had zero interest in her after that. I did nothing to deserve the way she treated me. And if she could do that without adequate provocation, then I would actively advise anyone I know to avoid her at all cost. She reacted like I was some kind of creep. But all I did was to ask an innocent question. I have never seen an overreaction as dramatic as hers. The good thing was that she showed me very quickly who she really was. I was happy to dodge THAT bullet.
It's funny how she said what you need to do in order to meet new people. What she doesn't understand is that her advice doesn't apply to men. Guys will approach her anytime, anyplace just because she exists. While for a guy, even if you start some hobby or whatever, you still need to put yourself out there and do all the work
She did talk about trying to get herself out there and join clubs to overcome social anxiety but that’s 1000% easier said than done and like you saying it’s all harder for men to find someone who is perceptive. Especially for younger people, very few are on those meetup, eventbrite websites and are doing clubs after college. People have their friend group and plan stuff within their friend groups
I'm glad you covered this topic. There are certain women who are overly sensitive. Men have to deal with rejection a lot and it makes it harder with this behavior. Women can't complain if the "right guy" doesn't approach them if they call men out for just regular approaches
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Women: Spend a decade telling men that approaching them in almost any social gathering besides a bar is creepy and offensive.
Men: Listen to women.
Women: Why are men not approaching us anymore.
Men:You told us not to.
Women: No we didn't, you just aren't brave enough.
Some of them like to flip it on you and call you insecure
Lol we don't care. This woman is fooling you
Very good SNA !!!!
Modern technology and creature comforts have made today's woman bitchy as hell. When the world goes to hell and we see world war 3 and violence and struggle everywhere, you will see those same women begging men to save them and protect them. These selfish broads have never been disciplined. The modern man in the modern feminist nations have always given women everything and received very little in return. Throw these hoes in slums of Afghanistan and watch how humbled they become
IKR!
Many women are finally realizing that their negative, hate filled, misandry has had an impact on men. The vast majority of men will no longer approach women to talk to or ask for a date. I saw a perfect example of this the other day. Whilst having a drink after work with a female friend, we both noticed a reasonably attractive guy, well dressed and groomed who had seen a girl he obviously wanted to talk to. You could see him struggling to overcome his reticence and nervousness, trying to “psych himself” to go and talk to her. After a few minutes you could tell he was ready, he asked the ladies in his group to make sure he looked presentable, he asked the guys to wish him well.
Over he went to her and tried to introduce himself a start a conversation. All six of the women at the table immediately stopped what they were doing and openly started looking this poor guy up & down. Two started openly giggling and the the rest were smirking. The guy valiantly kept going, being polite, keeping respectful & not getting too close. By now, all the women where either laughing or just staring at him. He had taken all the rejection he could, apologized for interrupting and turned to walk away. As he did, the whole table erupted into gales of laughter, names were called out, the nicest of which was “loser” .
He simply walked past his own table of friends and kept walking right out of the bar. A pleasant, well educated, well brought up guy being humiliated in front of everyone in the bar and then women wonder why men won’t talk to them anymore ? Really ?
they literally don’t give a fuck and want it to happen. cool, only thing is we don’t really care, we just move on
Ladies you really need to stop doing this. You're not being the better person by being unnecessarily demeaning to the sincere guys approaching you
Actually I take that back, yes keep being unnecessarily cruel to these guys - you're only strengthening MTGOW and deepening the divide between the genders. And that is exactly what I want
Well he dodged a bullet. Could you imagine if she said yes and her got her pregnant. She’s ruin his life. You’re better off without.
This is not new. Never go up alone and talk to a group of women. It is always asking for rejection. Too many social dynamics at play. The girl who is your target is afraid of looking easy to her friends, the ones not picked by the guy feel rejected or less attractive and get mean, her "best friend" in the group becomes super protective and blocks you, etc..
That is why you need a group of guys to go out with. That is where the entire term "wing man" started from. Even when I was younger twenty years ago without the internet, we knew not to do this. If the girl likes you, she breaks away from the group to talk to YOU or goes up to the bar hoping you will talk to her.
@@timreeves8937 This guy gets it when facing a gruop of women never go up alone as there are many dynamics in play that will not be in your favor
Talk to any guy that's actually had a woman overreact and accuse him of being creepy when approaching and he will tell you it's one of the worst things to ever happen to him. It just feels more risky than ever to approach these days.
Exactly not just traumatic, but possibly life threatening, ending up in jail.
Yup, women should take the L on this one culturally and start approaching guys. Start building up their own resilience to rejection approach. I worry about looking good then.
@@rogersam1294 that would be nice but i don't see it happening, and a good benefit of women doing that, is that women never risk coming across as creepy or threatening like men do
One of my friend’s marriages is falling apart leaving only a single friend who is semi-happily married. When the odds are that bad even if you succeed, then even bothering to approach when there are this many risks makes dating almost pointless.
Unless you have to see this woman everyday, than being considered creepy shouldn't be that big of an issue. It feels like crap in the moment, but once it's done it is done. You never have to see her again and you can move on.
Bartender for 22 years. I've watched tens of thousands of strangers meet/pick up each other. For most women, the definition of a "creepy" guy is basically any man that they aren't immediately attracted to. Hot or rich guys can often get away with acting like a creep because they''re desired by women. There's a lot more of a chance of an average/below average guy getting called a creep for being nice than a hot guy would for actually acting like a creep. This is why guys think they have to have looks or money to even be able to have a chance with women. Because if you don't, the chances of you getting called "creepy" go WAY up.
Well the 100k women in my city can fight for the 500 hot rich guys .Honestly enjoying the show 🍿
That is precisely why I won't waste my time trying to find a woman to date. I prefer solitude and living by myself. I don't want or care about sex so I am truly free to live by myself without any concerns!
No Tiki No Washee.
@@hamilton9651 Until you fall in love, and with someone who doesn't give you the time of day. Then, life will take a dark turn for you. You won't be looking for it, and you won't be expecting it.
Get your money up and go to the gym. Stop feeling sorry for yourself bruh
I’m 60 years old and I remember this incredible girl in my early twenties. I approached her and she said, “Thank you for approaching me but I’m not interested.”(Oh! yes, I just remembered she said she was also flattered.) But she said it with a sincere smile. I walked away feeling okay. If girls turn me down like that, I would approach way more. Absolutely.
I had a similar experience in my twenties, which i left feeling pretty good about and okay with. I approached respectfully and got rejected respectfully, "Im flattered but not interested, thank you though".
A few years ago i approached a woman in a bar and simply said hello and asked if i could buy her a drink. She laughed, said "hell no" and walked back to her friend group whom i later saw laughing and pointing at me. It shattered my confidence completely and ive often thought of the contrast between those two responses. That was the interaction that stated my "fear of being creepy"
@@johantolli372 That's happened to me too and the best way to look at it is as her doing you a favor. Her action shows she a low value woman and you should feel sorry for the dude that marries or impregnates her one day.
Dakatari Its her loss !!
How kind of her. I have had similar experiences. I even had one that was so kind to tell me why, and point out I had a small mouth, and a big nose, and that my eyes were too close together. We men need to truly appreciate women as Gods gift to us, to be able to open our eyes to our faults.
So true my friend I'm 60 also, and remember when women were approachable, and polite, sadly, those days are a distant memory
For an introvert like me, if I approach a woman, it takes ALOT of courage. Imagine how devastating it is building up the courage and being blown off or being called creepy after having approached her normally. It takes away your motivation to ask anyone out.
You’re not alone. Trust me.
You're not the only one. I know what you mean.
Rejection is only a problem when the other person is below your looks level.
the problem is most women are not going to be into most guys, for whatever million different reasons. The failure rate is going to be so astronomically high that it's probably not worth even trying unless you're getting obvious signs.
@@heathjoints9845 No, to me rejection is a problem every time. It takes me absolutely everything I've got to approach a woman I'm attracted to, and I just can't face the embarrassment of rejection.
Women be throwing slurs like "creepy" or "incel" around like its nothing
not everyone can be the main character.
Because it's a 'mans' problem, therefore, it is seen as 'nothing'. Until it becomes a problem for the women later on.
I've never ever heard women actually use the word incel or even know that word exists. They always say creepy
The word "incel" is a fun word in my opinion
@@abolisher lol apparently girls can label guys as whatever they want (e.g. creep/ incel), meanwhile men can barely give a comment to a girl if she might even take it the wrong way. Hardly about being the "main character"
This happens to my son he is 28 very shy and a little awkward around women and gets labeled as a creep one time I was with him in a library he was just talking to a girl being nice after he left I was still there the girl told the library workers how creepy he was she did not know I was his mom I told her your not that great and you don’t deserve a nice guy.She was so shocked maybe I overreacted but I guess I was being a mama bear
You’re a great mother.
@IrisLouise. Know what exactly?
@IrisLouise.Karen
You have to accept that your son has lost already in the genetic competition. I am in my 30s as well and I never got lucky. The older you get most likely you realize that you are asexual or you are just naturally cast out from the gene pool due to natural selection. Well, he is 28 and most likely looks like a man now and I don't think you will find much women at this age group at a public library. Most likely he was talking to a high school girl unless you and he went to a college and university library. You have to accept your son as he is and accept that he most likely not be in a relationship no less a father. There are high schoolers and middle schoolers who are sexually active at a young age. If you are in your 20s and have not had a relationship or a sexual experience with a girl in this present modern day, it is best to say that as a man you have lost the genetic lottery.This was difficult on my parents as well, but I also accepted this fact of my reality that I will never get married, have a serious relationship or even a girlfriend, will never have sex unless I pay for it, and will never have children.
@jacqueslee2592 so in other words only the the fantasy 14% of the male population should get the women screw the rest throe them in the trash. They don't etc to be married or have kids.
Sounds a lot like cock blocking and vikings, Indians, etc who would go into villages kill the men leave the kids and take the women.
So everything are grandparents tried to make better for us we threw it out the window to go back to those days.
Fine then let the millions of women fight over the 14% of men that are any good.
In fact let's have a hungry games style fight happen.
I don't approach because they're just mean. Rejection is fine, them thinking I'm not attractive is fine but rudeness, smugness and being over dramatic is intolerable. The creepy aspect is part of that. They can ruin you socially, economically and personally just for saying hello to them. Its just dangerous for us.
I dont appoach, I dont even make eye contact. No interest any more. Im fine living alone till death do I part. Heck, some young girl even selling girl scout cookies said "have a nice day" and I didnt even look at her and ignored it as I walked past it. This is how they need to grow up now. They can bear the fruit of their older generations mistakes.
Women have weaponized rejection. Best just to walk away from them.
@@puppetmasterblaster I feel as though that mindset is dangerous, though. There's no way all women are intolerable, so giving none of them a chance isn't fair.
I'd say your best bet is to be highly skeptical, but be open about circumstances changing.
@@puppetmasterblaster you are f*cking sad
@@Brisingr73 It's like being given a large bowl of brightly colored candies and being told that 90% are deadly poison. Are you really going to take the chance that you might get one of the 10%? It's just not worth the risk. Besides, those 10% may have been tainted by the rest and will make you sick.
A woman asked if she could sit at my table in a Cafe. We both were there sitting reading a book. I just asked polity what she is reading, by God I was not hitting on her, was just interested because I am a literature buff since my childhood. In return she gave me a speech about to stay in my boundaries. I excused for having disturbed her, payed and left. My stay at this Cafe was ruined and I felt bad. Next time I came back there the waitress, I know her for a few years, told me that woman told her that I am a creepy guy and should not be permitted to have coffee there. I will stay away from women as far as it is possible in the future. We live in a world in which you can not even have an conversation about books between women and men. It makes this world more lonely and sad than it should be. But what can you do. Btw I am 56 and walk with a cane because of a nerve disease. Maybe this makes me a creep. Don't know.
You're not a creep. That's just a nasty woman. Unfortunately there are a lot of women like that nowadays.
The issue here is you are avg to below avg looking Iguarantee you if you were good looking her tone would be way different that's the issue in 2022 A 4/10 woman believes she is entitled to a 7+ man due to social media
Ur not a creep
Women and men cannot be just friends. In civilized societies of the past they had very little interaction outside of family. This was by design. I rarely have interesting intellectual conversations with women. We simply don't have enough in common, and the interactions are ruled by what women think they can get from you and what they fear you are trying to get from them. I guarantee if you looked young, handsome and rich, you would have gotten a very different response. It is said that you can tell the character of a person by how they treat those with nothing to offer them. My experience is that women fail this test at a MUCH higher rate than men. I have almost never seen any of my friends act rudely to women BC they were ugly or had nothing to offer. I rarely ask a woman what she is reading BC I know I will probably find it very uninteresting, and I would probably tell on no if she asks to sit at my table.
hm...sry to say, this sounds to me like a 56 year old not reading the room very well, but i wasn't there, i have to go off what you are writing.
how old was she, did she engage in conversation when asking to sit down or not, when you asked her your first question did she keep it short but you went on and on...
be honest to yourself, did you misjudge the situation? happens to all of us.
i had this situation in reverse in a train, a women sitting down asking about the book i was reading. i kept it short, but she just didn't catch on and stayed a bit too long to make it uncomfortable. finally she realized and left without me needing to be rude.
seems this women felt the need to make you aware.
My sister labeled a guy creepy because he approached her at Starbucks, clearly she wasn’t attracted to him but I called her out on calling him creepy, I basically told her it was not cool to call him creepy because she wasn’t attracted to him, if it was Brad Pitt she wouldn’t be calling him creepy
Your sister has a problem.
Brad Pitt is 74 years old brah.
@@kennedyhair8434 lol let’s say a 35 year old Brad Pitt. He still looks pretty good for a 74 year old tho
Brad Pitt DOB is Dec 18, 1963.
He's 60ish.
100% rejection over the course of 10 years. Most of the time I barely opened my mouth before she would say "ewe" or "gross". I'm not afraid because of how ill feel anymore. I just realized it's absolutely pointless. I don't enjoy putting myself in bad situations intentionally and that's what it's become.
dont be afraid to stand up to the idiots who say "eewww" or "gross"
i shouted at one and called her out as immature
don't be ewe, just get ticket to any latin america country and buy a language course.
so sorry for you:( i had a guy approach me , but he wasn't my type at all and a bit too old, but i was nice to him and said how much i appreciated his bravery for coming to me and making compliments. i told him to never give up and soon he will find his perfect partner. he looked disapointed as well but i told him, he did perfect but i wasn't the right one unfortunatly. guess when the right one shows up, she will smile at you or let you know trough the signs that she likes you.
@@_earthvisitor333
"when the right one shows up"
aaahh the dicotomy of control - things we can control and the things we can't
these "when you meet the right person", "if it happens", "maybes" fall into the can't control category. We cannot control when/if someone falls in love with us but we can control our responses when we are rejected. One should never dwell in the things we cant control as it is not healthy. Instead they will find more satisfaction in the things they can control - going travelling, hanging out with friends etc, taking up hobbies
also we should stop saying "the right one" - because there is no such thing. There is only the person we elope with but they change over time
@@_earthvisitor333now that’s a nice way to deny someone, even though he was sad you helped him even if subconsciously boost his confidence
It’s not just feeling creepy, it’s also feeling unwanted. I feel like all women hate me and I bet many other men feel like this too
No, I'm too cocky and borderline arrogant for that. Adjust to the market.
I don't want women who do not want me......simple as that.
@@taras3702 Trouble is, all women don’t want me.
Ur super handsome im sure ur just approaching the wrong women
@@babyxox949 sure sure
Being labeled a “creep” by a woman is one of the most hurtful things that can happen to a man. It’s embarrassing and can really hurt your confidence.
It’s also one of the most inaccurate and incorrectly used words in America.
It would be more accurate to say stranger, harasser, abuser, etc., but they want to repeat what they hear others incorrectly say.
Very true.
On your death bed, you're never going to remember any of the people who don't matter in your life. So why would you allow someone who doesn't matter impact you so strongly?
@@theocjr.43 true that.
Back in the 50s, the time of our grandparents, it was not considered creepy if a man made a move on a girl, cold approach, or if he complimented her looks, or if he said "I'll follow you everywhere until you marry me", it was not considered creepy if he did that, the women at the time would find it Romantic.. so the difference between women today, and the women in our grandparents generation is that our grandparents had it way better, but as for today, women have made it very very difficult to make a move on them, and even if a guy makes a move and risks getting rejected, they wont accept a man who doesn't fit their list of unrealistic standards, they're not as feminine as they used to be, they're not as wife material as they used to be, not as family oriented, and not as ladylike, and if women tell men to not make the move then I'm sure women will now bare the responsibility to make the move right?.. of course not, because women can act all tough and masculine but are chicken ass scared when it comes to making the first move,
A thing that rarely gets mentioned is how much women LOVE to use men for attention at their expense. I have had women who I knew were in relationships or married hit on me or "position themselves" like they want to get approached when I know that they are not single. They don't care to put men in awkward situations where they waste men's time just to feed their egos. That's why I rarely approach.
This is 100% facts. The women who are married or currently seeing someone are the most thirsty for validation. They will orbit me and give obvious choosing signals. Most of the time, its when their partner is there and watching her every move. My response always is , "What am i supposed to be, the make my boyfriend jealous guy?"
Its so entertaining to see their stunned faces. Like a dear in the headlights.
Lol or may be they are just polite and treating an in-cel like a human being
Don't fuck with women like this. They scream drama
Key point.
Frankly this flies in hd afcv of all that I habe known aboutb womeemn - i disvbelievde you.
Recently I saw a woman i knew for sometime take a fall. Struggled to get back on her feet, So i thought I would be a gentleman and offered her a hand of support to help her back on her feet. She slapped my hand away and said I was creepy. I was angry and offended. When that happens ladies, men will avoid you like the plague.That hurt and I was very angry. I knew her for years and now I refuse to talk to her,
What a horrible experience. There was obviously something very wrong with this woman. Anybody can lend a helping hand to a person who fell. A few months ago, I saw a woman gently touch a blind man's arm because he was standing WAY TOO CLOSE to the edge of the platform and he began screaming and cursing at her. We live in such a weird world.
Don't come to a woman's aid if it means touching her instead call 911 or whatever is appropriate?
I stopped dating 9 years ago, I just have no room left in my life for toxicity and constant drama in my life, I just want peace.
I hear you brother 🤝
Bruh! Preach! So over it too drama!
Keep it strong brother! PREACH!
+1. Exactly true, Michael ! Same here. I had enough of fakes, chit-chat, meaningless, superficial conversations nobody needs or wants without depth, constant drama queens and toxic ladies, and skindeep behaviour, simply nevermore.
Same here
I was at a bar one night, I don't drink much but I like to shoot pool, I ended up chatting with a group of ladies and when they found out I wasn't a drinker they called me a predator and said I was there waiting for girls to get drunk so I could grape them.
That really shook me, and made one of the last few socially acceptable places to meet strangers feel like a no go zone.
Tell them that if they weren't alcoholic drunkards with zero standards, they wouldn't have anything to worry about.
In their wet dreams ;)
I wouldn’t let that put you off from going back to that bar. They don’t personally know you, and that level of judgement is unacceptable and more a reflection of their immaturity. I happen to enjoy shooting pool too, and prefer to win games by staying reasonably sober. I go back to the same bar all the time and thankfully have never encountered such stupid comments from girls.
@@goodnightkiwi Irrelevant. It's still not a safe place for him to be.
@@BrandonPitt stop with that he won't grow or learn if he doesn't keep trying, forget those girls who said that to him those girls are so full of themselves its not even funny, they need to realize they got to stop abusing there power of making guys be the bad guys,
Got rejected by every woman i approached or fell for. Drained all emotional energy until i don't have any more strength left to do the same again because I know the result. It's not that I don't fall for any woman anymore but just control my emotions and never approach anyone now. Someone is made for you quotes are all bullshit in real life.
I am happy to be single now and plan to live for myself and my passions ambitions only. Probably won't go through this anxiety and shit anymore.
Tell me about the alimony. Do you like that?
One time in college, I asked a girl from class if she wanted to go out sometime and I just got laughed at. Incredibly demoralizing.
Relatable.
brutal
Is it really a fear of being "seen" as creepy? Or is it a fear of being me too'ed, hounded, reputation destroyed on line, fired from work, accused of rape, etc...
Yup. I may have unwittingly denied myself the biggest opportunity of my life because I didn’t want to risk getting hashtagged.
Exactly. Girl's, like this one, still think "The worst that can happen is she says "no ." RIIIGHT...can you imagine the furor if it was reversed? A woman approached a man, gets rejected, and labelled, and charged, and falsely accused? Women would never leave their homes our of fear.
But it's men's job to approach? Lol
I would say that it's both
All of those.
In fact, I had it happen, and it is a legal hellhole. The reason is, where I live, any woman can make any accusation (s harassment/molestation wise) and all it has to be is "an acceptable explanation of the situation" (aka if she says it, that is how it is). However, when a man has to defend himself, it must _be proven to be not true._ Now remember, you cannot prove a negative, and in my case I had to prove beyond a reasonable doubt I did not _think_ it because she felt unsafe because I thought it.
An example of a listen and believe law. No more regular employment for me, not for the last decade.
But even a woman being brash and brushing past you can result in a court case: ua-cam.com/video/LIG7nXR4LZQ/v-deo.html Imagine the jury saying off you go. A real risk.
So why should I risk it at all?
None of you are famous enough to be me too'd so I wouldn't worry about it lol
I read a woman complained that a man was starring at her at the gym. The man was blind and still the manager ask the man to stop. He said I am blind. The Manager should have kicked her out for harassing a blind man not stuck up for her. The most ridiculous case I ever read.
What the hell?
..and how many times were women like this actually going to the gym to train rather than show off.
she could have gone to a women only gym( which we know are illegal anyway)
Sounds like the manager is a simp
Por eso siempre entreno mirando al piso
Peak degeneracey right there
It's not fear of rejection, it's being tired of rejection.
become the man dthat doesnt get rejected
@@iElia Easier said than done. Do you have any suggestions for becoming the man who doesn't get rejected?
@@robertdevoy3119 What i did is , Working on my goals, doing semen retention, workong out, keeping myself busy and whenever i liked someone i had 3 sentences i would ask their name age and number and after that i would keep the rest mystery if she wants to know more then we will plan a date
@@robertdevoy3119 he is a Chad, look at his picture it doesn't comput with him.
@@iElia semen retention? Lost credibility right there.
Another reason I get fed up with approaching women is: They flirt with you with eye contact, etc. When you go up to them, you realize they only want attention, and you feel like a dumbass. Nowadays, it happens a lot. And the number of women who have this behavior and later you find out they have a boyfriend, it's crazy.
Has happened to me so many times! And it can happen anywhere and I've experienced it since high school, university and now at workplaces. For this reason I Always stalk someone that gives me that kind of attention on the Internet to find out about their lives. And when I think back, the only times I thought someone was flirting with me was when they had a boyfriend/husband and kids and thought it would be funny for me to try and get shut down. That's fking evil! And it's also very disrespectful to their partners, they will probably then go home and remind him of how popular they are.
And if they realize they've been busted or that you are not going to approach them, they will hate you and try to hurt you, it's like you can't win in any way. It's really hard to even find someone who's just friendly for the sake of culture.
I telling you, girls were so much nicer at early high school, after that they become manipulative bitches trying to control the world with terrorizing behavior.
I agree totally a stunning attractive woman suddenly started dancing with me on a night out giving me strong eye contact. Later throughout the night she told me she's married and has a kid charming 😅 thought it was too good to be true and I was right. I'm 30 and honestly exhausted with dating and expectations now iv stopped caring about it all. I can't do with the ghosting and excuses that don't even make any sense. I will more than likely be single for the rest of my life because I won't be meeting women later on in life already with kids fuck that 🤢.
Ooof, this just happened to me 😂
@@ham5483 it's highly annoying lol, I can't be arsed no more.
That's why tinder exists. Skip all the baggage and bullshit of all the other meaningless waste of time.
Here's a story of wicked karma, and it's a tale that shows why people need to be careful what they post online. A good buddy of mine was at a locally popular restaurant and approached a really attractive woman. He was polite and joked a bit, he did nothing creepy. She was pretty stand-offish and eventually got rather negative toward him, so he backed off. Well, fast forward a few days, this lady posted a video online talking about being at this restaurant and talking about "this really creepy guy" while getting film shots of him from a distance. Pretty terrible.
Now, this guy is a long time best friend of one of the people that own the restaurant, and the people who own the place own about half the commercial property in that city. They've got wealth and influence.
Here's how this went down. The owners took this personally. They took this girl to court and sued her on the basis she was publicly defaming their restaurant patrons. I haven't heard how it all settled, but I did hear she was fired from her job due to absences for having to be in court. It just makes me think of that short video a girl posted in a gym filming "creepy guys" which resulted in her gym membership being revoked.
Karma is a bitch!
That's awesome.
@@adam.dzwoniarek72 As Baron Mordo told Dr Strange "The bill comes due.. always"
Man that's fucked up hHahaha karma's a bitchhh
GOOD for the owners. I hope she ends up broke and homeless.
Actual conversation between 2 female friends and me. A guy asked one of them out, and she turned him down. He took it and moved on. Then a few weeks later, he asked the other friend out. She had heard that the 1st one had turned him down and rejected him too. Then, in front of me, they laughed heartily over how pathetic this guy was; perhaps he was getting rejected by every girl in the neighborhood and expected me to join in mocking him. I was so annoyed with both of them. It was a real eye-opener. So no, just "shooting your shot" without worrying about the consequences is not good advice. You risk being labeled a creep and for that word to spread. Your reputation is everything, and once you're labeled a creep, that sticks forever. Even good, sensible women will turn you down after that. Men get one shot, and our reputations are getting more vulnerable by the day.
I suspect you may be drawing some wrong conclusions here. It may be that the 2nd girl turned him down because her friend did because she didn't want to accept a "reject", but on the other hand, your friend's style may need a bit more polish. What do you think? What do you think would happen if you invited your male friend to come along some time when you planned to meet up with the two girls? Do you think he could chat up the 2nd girl and warm her up enough so that when he called her later, he could get a yes, or do you think his chops are really not good enough to make her think she would have a good time? Being turned down by a girl does not mean that none of her friends will accept you. It really boils down to what you have to offer more than anything else..
@@guitarista666 Irrelevant, it's not all HIS fault. This says a lot more about them and women in general than the guy.
@@taras3702 You're being way too narrow and short sighted in your understanding.
@@guitarista666 I think not........
Iv been called a creep and i never did try approaching anyone... I was loterally jist tryong to play guitar with my friend who wasninvited to a party and i wasnt but i see now he clearly wasnt thay much of a friend cuz he didnt ask them. If i coild go. For me he just left me. To. Try fogire it out and start askong girls bit i forgot all their names wtf and inknow how fucking fickle they are so i coildnt ask their names i had to start askong vague questions got nowjwre and in the end theu said i coildnt go for no reason and later told my. Retarded slut. Ex i was creepy.... Nah they were fucking creepy iv never felt. Such bitch energy was creepy af i felt isolated and alone.
Calling guys "Creepy" is a power move... it puts them on a pedestal and let's them attack someone for anything.
Women lke Courtney are creepy as fuck! Look at her, she's a neurotic lesbian mess & so you'll be if you're taking your cues from her.
Don't feel bad, you're most likely no less creepy than the guy she's gonna hook up with lol
Hm.
@@adamkuestner2961 🤣🤣
@@adamkuestner2961 She will then proceed to get down with a criminal drug dealer or a pimp.
I've heard women say that confidence is a must-have in a cold approach (along with tall, rich and handsome, of course, but not many actually say that out loud).
Every rejection dents confidence. Low confidence increases likelihood of rejection, which lowers confidence further and so on. It becomes inevitable that at some point the guys will just give up.
A few years ago, a Gillette commercial told me that trying to meet women in public is illegal now.
I got you bro: ua-cam.com/video/x_HL0wiK4Zc/v-deo.html
How so?
At least for white men
Well you can't look at a woman too long on the underground in the UK and there's a number to call....
I actually want to share an experience of my own. It's a bit unique from what everyone else is sharing. I was exercising in my University Gym and hitting the heavy bag, and a young woman approached me. She did not say anything but rather just looked at me for a moment, and I smiled and asked if she wanted to use the bag herself. She said yes, but mostly just kept talking to me. I personally like conversations with people and did not mind. However, I was confused, believing she wanted to use the bag and not talk. I asked again if she wanted to use it as I was going to do some stretching, and she responded yes, but instead, I just lazily hit it once or twice. It eventually became obvious she just wanted to speak to me, which, though flattered, I was mostly trying to do my own thing. She kept talking to me, and I engaged in conversation with her, but was kind of taken aback since this was the first time I have been approached while at the gym. She was nice but just a bit awkward, but I totally understood that that happens. She walked with me while the gym was closing, and I stated I had to go to the locker rooms and told her it was nice speaking with her. I got my things and spent about 10 mins in there before walking out.
She was standing outside near the locker rooms, and I was somewhat taken aback. When I walked near her, I said in an awkward, hushed tone, "Hey again" and she immediately answered "Can I have your number so we can talk in the future?"
At that point, it immediately became apparent she was just nervous and did not know how to really approach someone. I responded sure but really because it was so out of the blue. Afterwards, she texted me at 7 am the next day saying it was nice speaking to me but I was in bed sleeping and those texts woke me up.
The reason I mentioned this story was because it was very weird experiencing this but that is all it was for me. It's just awkward and weird. I didn't think the girl was creepy or weird herself. She tried to put herself out there and I really admired that but she didn't do so very well which happens sometimes. I COULD NOT even begin to imagine how bad it would be if roles were reversed. The guy would be labeled as very creepy and a stalker which I get but I think what sometimes woman forget is that some guys, and people in general, aren't so socially skilled and had no intention in making the other party uncomfortable.
Long story I know, thanks for reading.
Come on, you gotta tell us what happened after, or was that it?
U didn’t like her appearance? What was the reason?
Because i did similar things too
I started to think that its better that i choose men instead of men choosing me because when u dont choose u only have options that approached you and the choice of all men in the world is then limited to that only guy that came to you. I decided thats stupid (in those rare occasions i reject them anyway)
Why u didn’t continue with that woman? The fact that she had approached you made you think she is needy and nit really wanted by other men?
X Doubt
The only reason the gentlemen in comments are acting this way is because it is a very rare thing for most men. But I have encountered the awkward female too. It all comes from over thinking and a lack of self awareness. If a person doesn't know how they are coming off, they will never change.
Did y’all end up dating after or what happened lol
When I was 23, I was in a bar and saw a girl I thought looked pretty good sitting down. I watched for a moment to see if she was with anyone and she didn't appear to be, so I walked over and asked her "hey, what're you drinking?" She looked at me, scrunched up her face then stood up and walked away. I shrugged it off and 45 seconds later two bouncers grabbed me and dragged me out. I asked them what the fuck, they said a girl complained I harassed her. I told the dudes I asked her what she was drinking and she just walked away from me, and the dudes blew me off and said their policy was if they receive a complaint the dude has to go no questions asked. I haven't cold approached ever since, learned my fucking lesson I guess.
You said "When I was 23." How many years ago was that?
@@martindeleon2527 I just turned 30, would've been about 6.5 years ago
It would be a better policy for the bar to say they can make the guy leave but she must also leave.
In other words guys are second class citizens, yeh similar thing happened to me..
Don’t give in to their wrong ideas.
Keep at it (not with that same chump obviously).
You can’t let humans stop you, especially if you know you’re not wrong.
My biggest fear is violating someone's boundaries. How does anyone know if approaching someone will not be well received because they just want to be left alone, or consider the location to be safe from being approached by someone in anything but a professional manner?
I've had that fear too
I'd rather be left alone
I have been called creepy, crusty, old man. I served in the Army, worked in Law Enforcement, and was a Firefighter/EMT, and women chased me all the time. Even when I was married and they would still try getting close to me. I was injured twice on the job and eventually had to retire at an early age. I'm 53 now and my wife passed 8 years ago. No one approaches me, no one smiles and if I try to talk to them, I get a raised upper lip and sometimes they call me a pedo. I completely stopped looking at women, I will not approach them, and I will not say hello. I will say goodbye. I'm not interested in anyone ever.
It's because when you were a cop emt they knew that they could get money from you if they have a kid they have turned into parasites
@@iviekicklighte673 Yes, that's pretty much the way it is.
@@thebestofj.fraley something my mother use to say is there nothing worse than a human Leach
@@iviekicklighte673 believe it. lol
It comes with hypocrisy. Women who call men creepy are creepy themselves. This is the reason I'm making my daughter clean her bedroom, make her bed, and fold her clothes. I've been in women's homes that are a complete disaster, these were pretty women. They don't hygiene either. Tampons over the floor, towel with blood stain period on it. I've been rejected before and eventually knew what I've been rejected by. Eventually, you learn to avoid these kind of women in the beginning. They have issues and emotional baggage. You see it in their eyes, facial expressions, and their walk to avoid them.
I'm glad you mentioned the whole thing with disabilities, because I have High-Functioning Autism. Before I was diagnosed, people used to label me as rude, selfish, lazy and a plethora of other terms because I'd misread social cues or be so absorbed in my own little world that I didn't understand that certain things weren't appropriate. Even though I've had a tremendous amount of therapy and made improvements since then, the thing about Autism is that you will always be prone to misinterpreting certain things. Given how sensitive the world has become, it's even more nerve-wracking as a person with Autism to interact with the opposite sex because one misunderstanding could land me in trouble.
Were you diagnosed recently?
I have a type of autism too. NVLD
@@KingYou2002 No, I was 17 when I was diagnosed and I'm 35 now.
That’s me right there. I’ve known that I have autism my whole life and I like to be in my own world sometimes, but I’ve realized that I missed out on a lot of social opportunities in childhood and my teenage years because I never put myself out there. Better late than never I suppose! 😅
I understand your problems for sure. I was only diagnosed at 40, now I don't know if I will ever be in a relationship.
Y’all have some ridiculous standards that change with the wind. Imagine saying you want a guy who’s 6 feet tall or higher, makes 6 figures, works out and provides you a luxurious life, and require men to have it together financially, mentally, physically and socially and yet in the same breath say things like “I don’t need no man”, “if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” or everyone’s favorite “you have to accept me for who I am”. The hypocrisy.
Yup this y both genders will have a ton of single people
If a girl’s worst is slashing my tires, I don’t want to see it or be around it.
"who’s 6 feet tall or higher, makes 6 figures, works out and provides you a luxurious life, and require men to have it together financially, mentally, physically and socially"
That's me... seriously, but so much as glance at a woman and I'm the creepy one! Society is broken and we are all dying alone!
@Loo hold the door for everyone
@Loo I became a risk-averse MGTOW who may have unwittingly denied myself the biggest opportunity of my life over self-preservation hashtagging protection. I’m not misogynist; I just tend to ignore women, maybe open the door for them, but extremely casually in the way I would for men. This is more morally upright.
I had a man approach me in the subway to talk to me. I didn't take offense: he was polite and seemed nice. I didn't give him my number because I'm 44 years old and I don't even think he was 30 years old. But I have to say, being approached with respect and kindness really made my day.
As a shy introvert myself, I've tried making a genuine effort to push outside my comfort zone and put myself out there. It made no difference.
It not only will not make a difference, it will crush you and leave your heart and self-esteem battered and spilled out. Plenty of experiences also and it's left me none the least of which drained.
Your right
@@jaxonwoods8181, same here. I’ve done that for the last couple of years, and I’ve gotten hardly to almost nothing in return. the only good thing is is that I don’t have regrets of not taking a chance, but still, it’s just painful, knowing that effort really means nothing until you have results.
the trick is to be a devil-may-care type guy full of overconfidence and to be shameless. They talk to women because they aren't worrying about a negative outcome or rejection and they wouldn't feel embarassed. It's just fun for them to talk to strangers. If someone is rude to them or ignores them they'll be like "whatever" and go talk to someone else, or "f--- that b----" and it won't even break their stride, not even a dent in their ironclad confidence.
People who are anxious, sensitive worriers with negative rumination just aren't made for social interactions with strangers. We need the circumstances to all line up perfectly for us to even try. Even a basic friendly conversation of Hi how are you? can be a struggle. Going beyond that to flirt, ask personal questions, get a number, ask for a date often won't even occur to this type of person because they'll feel like a deer in the headlights in the moment. Then when we finally try and it doesn't go our way we feel like failures and it makes us want to try even less. The negative memory will replay endlessly in our heads reinforcing the fear and hopelessness.
I was in my thirties the first time I asked a girl for her number. This was after she A) tried to talk to me and I didn't reply B) had a group conversation with her and other people where she replied directly to me multiple times C) had a one on one conversation where I had her laughing her @ss off and we were gazing into each others eyes smiling. At that point I'd finally had enough signals to ask her if I could help her bring her things to her car, and then as she drove me to where I was parked I asked if I could get her number and she said yes.
All the stars had to align perfectly for that to even happen. That's a slow day for a confident, social extrovert, something they do all the time and it's as natural as breathing. All that practice and experience just breeds more confidence. Whereas the shy sensitive introvert doesn't get much practice and their social skills atrophy.
im a shy introvert myself and i just put up with being a creepy guy and watch women get scared sometimes when i cold approach them XD
Regarding rejection, I've been told repeatedly that: Men are used to rejection and it doesn't hurt them. They encounter rejection every day, it is no big deal, and rejection should not be a big deal.
If rejection hurts the man, something is wrong with the man, confirming he should be rejected for having such low confidence and low self esteem.
I've heard this consistently for 40+ years, in all walks of life; at weddings, parties, work, church, business conventions, you name it.
Overall, it is like the setup scene in Tootsie. In this, Jessica Lange's character says she wants a man who is sexually aggressive. When the Dustin Hoffman character does exactly this, she is of course, insulted and repelled. That is a movie, but it mirrors real life.
Women have fantasies about how they want to be approached, but in reality, they don't. The whole Mee Too movement has spiraled out of control, from don't have sexual harrassment, to anything is harassment and bad intent on the man. The default assumption is the man is bad.
I'm 60 and single dad. I don't date (too busy raising kids, which is infinitely more important) and so the women in my circles (professionally and socially) consider me safe, which is correct. Here's the clincher! Because I'm considered "safe" I've been privy to COUNTLESS stories and accounts by women (mostly 20's, 30s') about how they "destroyed" a guy for approaching them. The stories are accompanied by much laughter and a good bit of gloating. Mind you, these stories aren't about groping men, or men being "creepy" in the ways you note in this video. Instead, these men were "destroyed", "humiliated" or "totally dissed" because these women just didn't want to talk to them because they weren't good looking, were too old, too young, tooo......something. It would seem women today feel it is completely within their rights to use a scorched earth policy against men, rather than be polite, and it seems much of it is for entertainment purposes. Some of them have asked me my opinion, to wit I have answered, "it sounds to me like you might need to learn some manners" or "Possibly you could have stretched a little and just said, something like 'thanks but I'm not interested'. I'm then told that I'm "old fashioned", "too sensitive" or I'm just sticking up for the guy because I'm a guy. Frankly, I can see why men don't approach women and I find it really funny that women seem so mystified by it.
It's a cycle isn't it. Unhealed men mistreat women the way you mentioned, unhealed women return the favor, and round and round we go.
@@taa64777 we are each and every one, responsible for our own behavior. Offenders of any gender seeking to lay blame need only look inward.
I think women use rejections as a way to assert their dating market value, aka “if I reject this one harshly it proves I deserve better.”
@@6packproductions710 Yep, it's a mind trick, but one they play on themselves.
It has a ripple effect ladies. Good, kind and caring women are suffering the consequences from the ones who don't care how they treat another human being. Men, it's a harsh world but believe there are still amazing, kind and loving women that are looking for quality men.
When society rejects you throughout your entire life, for just simply being yourself, you eventually just stop interacting altogether. Rejection is only a normal feeling if you've dealt with it enough. However, it will just make you stop interacting if you've dealt with it enough.
I'm at this stage right now I just work and interact with the people I work (which I find extremely hard at times) and nothing in my social life I don't have one anymore. I used to be out every weekend trying to chase girls and getting numbers novelty wears off after so many rejections and ghosting the thrill just isn't there for me no more.
@@jacobs3031Avoid people at work as well, I don’t even talk to them unless necessary and even then I make it known that I don’t wanna talk to them. Don’t say hi or goodbye, really frees the mind.
It's too dangerous.. Here's an example. One of my friends was told by a woman that he needed to "Man up" if he ever hoped to meet anyone and what she was getting at is that men are no longer taking the initiative to introduce themselves to women. He takes her advice, sees a woman that he is attracted to in a Costco. He makes some kind of small talk and asks her out. Moments later, he was escorted out by security. It was funny at the time listening to him explain what happened, but it's stuff like this that men are so easily labeled as creepy. My advice.. Do not man up!. Bad advice that was offered from a woman.
Getting advice from a fish about how to catch fish never pans out.
@Matt Joseph it is also to make you do what they want.
No yuo have to do it anyway , if you dont you will never have a woman because there will always be guys who will do it and there will always be guys who do it correctly eeither because of natural social skills or learned pick up, so you have to just risk the consiquences, there is no other way ! and you will just have to accept the possibilty of security being called, you literally have no choice other than to be single forever !
@@mcpartridgeboyI don't have to do anything I don't need to do. You are weak.
@@mcpartridgeboy Pick up artist is garbage the ONLY thing that matters in OLD and cold approach is looks/height
I am a 35 year old kissless virgin, i have social anxiety and a very severe stuttering problem.
The only things i ever got from women are rejection, mockery and humiliation.
On my 25th birthday i decided to stop interacting with women entirely, there was no point in continuing
Sending you love and light bro!
No bro I believe in you. Travel the 🌎 meet the feminine nonspoiled women and enjoy the experience. You are still in your prime.
@@rayr6278 I am wage slaving for 2 euro per hour. I won't be going anywhere anytime soon, if ever.
I have money for food and bills and that's it.
Even this internet is a luxury I can barely afford but I honestly don't know what I would do without it.
In gods eyes you are a treasure. Forget about women, they are the devils spawn.
I assume losing your virginity to an escort or sex worker is out of the question for you
Bottom line: social media sucks, it changed the way that we interact with one another and now it leaves scars in our society.
its porn you hypocrite
You got that right
It’s one factor, along with demographics, social programming, and women out earning men. Of course now that girls have access to it from a young age with TikTok and what not, maybe even the high school environment won’t be an equalizer for guys.
I wrote over a decade ago about how 'social media' is another method that the controllers are destroying societies...
Now a decade later, I am still waiting for someone to please prove me wrong!
More so movies and TV shows, they show such an unrealistic portrayal of dating and romance.
As a guy who didn't find his soul mate and get married until his mid-30's, here's a couple reasons guys are backing off:
1- if you are shot down often enough or consistently enough, you tend to give up.
2- if a woman brutally rejects a guy in a public place, every other guy watching is going to stay away.
3- if a guy checks a woman out, walks over to talk to her, and gets called a creep, stalker, player, etc, that can easily cause unwanted problems.
4- Some guys (especially those who have been mercilessly bullied throughout their entire school career) lack self-confidence and don't realize their own worth.
Something nobody seems to take into account is that men are just as vulnerable to past trauma as women.
I was bullied from kindergarten to graduation. After being the victim of some very cruel pranks (by both guys AND gals), consistently shot down simply because I was at the bottom of the social ladder (and dating me would have been an instant KO to anyone's social status), i basically gave up.
I can guarantee there's a lot more guys like me than you realize. We might not reveal our pain, but the scars never disappear.
It's not a fear of rejection, it's a fear of handcuffs and mace.
Exactly its really fucked up of today.
I'm sorry, but I got a good laugh out of that! If your technique is apt to result in handcuffs and mace, maybe you need to refine it just a smidge?
@@guitarista666 Is that what you would tell the Jews in response to their treatment by the SS? Or is it that something having to do with the law and how others were treating _them_ that was the root of the problem? Could that second sentence apply to other situations?
Or being locked up.
@@guitarista666 I fear it even though I've never approached a woman before.
Numerous women have asked me in recent months why men don't approach women anymore. I explain the same things as you said. Great video.
Thank you 🙌🏼
So, what do these women say? How do they react when you answer their questions?
Same thing, I have told female friends the same thing. They all keep saying, men need to try harder. I say back, to hell with that. They don’t like the answer so they ignore it.
And it would woosh over all of their heads. Women are selfish and only care about themselves.
I'd say it is the woman's fault more than the man's. There is a type of hospitality when a woman entertains a man who cold-approaches. This is also important if she is not interested.
I got humiliated and insulted about 6 months ago. Felt like the end of the world.
It still hurts, but now I have absolutely ZERO fear of rejection. Nothing a woman say or do can effect me in any manner. I am completely free and invincible.
How long did it take you to get over it? I want to get this out of the way(rejection) so I'm bulletproof like you became.
CRIKEY.I WISH THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME.I WISH THAT A GROUP OF WOMEN MADE ME LOOK LIKE A SILLY STUPID LITTLE TWERP OR A LITTLE MOUSE!REDUCING ME TO TEARS LIKE A LITTLE EIGHT YEAR OLD SCHOOLBOY!EMBRACE THE MOMENT!
@@Geoff9001 the majority dont respect you and never will. they get jot from mistreating men. so don;t worry. if one likes you or acts like it, they just want to hurt you and ruin your life. so why even bother approaching at all? You work hard for your stuff. so don;t interact with one. cause thats how you get fausly accused and wrongfully unpresented an no less than half of your belongings given to the one who ruined your life forever!!!!!!
Sorry that happened to you. This makes me so sad to hear men are being shunned or rudely dismissed for just being interested. As someone who loves being approached by men, it’s a sad state for the heterosexual dating scene.
I reached that stage too. I just couldn't care less what they thought of me because I was fully aware how flawed their judgement really was.
Now a days everyone has to mind their own business and go about their day without trying to interact with anyone at all only when it's necessary. It also puts you on a safe ground by not approaching strangers that you never met before.
Well like mom and dad always said, don’t talk to no strangers
For me personally. As a 50 year old man... I care nothing of what people think of me.....
Creepy or not.
I don't approach women because I'm tired of their games and tests.
You either like a person for who they are or not at all.
Hi Courtney.
I come from a peaceful place in regards to a reply.
I don't hate women and not do I treat them badly. I am a good hearted guy that's been used and abused over the years with the few ladies I've dated. I'm always in it for the long haul and never been a one night guy. Ever... I'm very Sigma/alpha and I don't play games with people's heart and I cannot think of anything lower to demoralise a persons heart n soul.
I am no stranger to think there are ignorant people out there that get off on destroying good people and there morals n beliefs as well.
So from a good guys point of view....
I don't play games. If you do you will be by yourself and single again.
I'm to busy in my life to date idiots that get off on destroying people's heart n soul. Genuine people.
I believe that as we progress into the modern age that men and women will be in avoidance to each other. More and more men particularly in the elder age are walking away from romance as the hole idea of it falls into the TOO HARD BASKET and not worth the pain and anguish and the loss of someones vulnerability to be exposed and disgraced.
This goes for both sides and I know women of today are victimised in every way these days as well, so it seems that we are just hurting each other time and time again.
Im happy in myself, I suffer from depression and anxiety like many others and the only way to live a non regretful life is too not care what anyone else's thinks of you.
You want to ask a person out on a date. Go and ask. You don't ask you don't get.
Read a women.
If they like you a man doesnt have to try, the getting to know each other will flow or not.
Being inappropriate is not rocket science.
A guy knows full well when he is stepping out of bounds and you don't touch unless you are guiding someone or of the way and even than you do it in such a way that's not invading.
Women and men need to go back to the old days.
Men were gents.
And
Women were ladies.
Respect for each other was mutual in every way.
Nowadays.... I see things that I just shake my head at.
I'm happy being and following the ol school ways. If the ladies think I'm old fashioned and don't like being treated as such than this lady is obviously not for me.
Simple......
Thank you for the reply... I like watching some of your videos as they are hitting the spot in today's world of men and women. I also congratulate you on having the gusto to bring to light information about both genders that a lot of us don't wish to know about our selves. It's good to know these things for those that want to better themselves and improve themself for their own satisfaction.
How to become a Gent is by no means easy for today's young and younger generation, however like any relationship..... It takes work and mistakes and you learn and try not to go down the same path again.
Anyone that is doing much the same as me I wish them all the best....
And good on you for seeing through the bullshit of today social standards and acceptance....
Modern world is going down a dark path and and we all know what happens when you hit rock bottom....
AMEN TO THAT! I'm your age and I have stopped caring what others think of me too. Women especially.
You are exactly right!
I believe it's the hard facts in today's world@@davidhensell6271. Unfortunate on many many levels however I got to say for myself. Since I've let go of trying to fix or control things that don't wish to be I'm feeling rather relaxed these days. Fighting, bickering over silly shit, accepting things that we shouldn't because of love or so called love... Things like this..... To hard and not right on both sides of the fence.
We are just hurting each other and giving each other more trauma and psychological issues.
When you stand back and take a moment to reflect the history.
Ask yourself.
Knowing what I know now....... Would I date that person or kind of person again....
I can tell you I'm no fan..... I've had enough.... A shame I am single and the hurt of seeing and hearing my parents dejection of not having any grand kids running around the house to yell nanny and poppy etc..... It's hard to take and it never gets any easier but having to accept a large lump down your throat and get on with life by yourself has to be done and I'm all about ease of life. So I've let go now.
Take every day as it comes. Enjoy the positives in your life and love your mates is what I do to accommodate the loss of not having a loved one to cosy up too... Harsh I know.
Well said.
I'll give you another reason Courtney. It's that a bunch of times women just don't seem approachable. They're frequently running around, they seem uptight, they hardly ever smile, and they are more than likely with their friends in groups, which is a major no-no for most guys. They just don't seem friendly enough to approach. Not all women before someone tries to come at me. But a lot of them do this.
Uhhh... guy here. It's your responsibility to be comfortable, friendly, charming etc so that her mood brightens up. I know some girls might be a brick wall no matter what but most will rise up to your energy level, as long as you don't fall into the "hell no" bucket. I mean, I'm a dude going through all the same day-to-day things you listed and you think I want to be approached either? No, I don't, but if someone is positive and has a good vibe I will be open to it.
@@SkillzKillzBR It's not a guy's responsibility to make a woman feel or act a certain way. It's hers. No matter how how you try, you can't always force someone to feel a certain way towards you. And I was also referring to when we see the woman from afar, before we even say anything, not just when we interact. Yeah you wanna be an a**, that's gonna turn ANYONE off, but it's not OUR responsibility to make someone feel a certain way because we have no authority over that. She does.
@@SkillzKillzBR So basically you can't read? He is literally talking about those who are not positive with a good vibe
honestly i find groups of girls to be easier to approach because they feel more safe having their group there to support them so i'm not as big of a threat to them if i would choose to approach, that and either they are a group of single of women or a group non-single women or they are a mixed bag, sure i might get rejected by the group overall but it's also bigger numbers so there's also a bigger chance that someone out of that group is into me, lots of positives and one negative.
like if the majority don't like me then they are just gonna reject me but the ones who didn't want to reject me might actually look me up after when they cut themselves loose from that group for a moment.
and if the majority of that group accepts me then i kinda can go for the one i feel most connected with and try my luck and if not they might steer me into the one that actually likes me in the group so there's that.
but it's difficult finding a group of women that you generally feel that most of them you wouldn't mind talking to.
as for approaching a lone woman, i think it's really difficult because she's gonna be a bit defensive no matter what, and it's really a shot in the dark in terms of chances and it gets very personal very quickly because she feels put on the spot as the woman you are specifically talking to, so you are putting yourself in a very do or die spot, the only way i think to get over this type of thought is to approach several women maybe not in a group but you have someone else right after you know you might introduce yourself to if the one you are approaching first doesn't go well.
@@bobxbaker That might be you pal, but other guy generally speaking will not even entertain it.
When your fear of rejection or failure has, over time, been proven to be warranted, it gets hard to not lose hope.
Is any of this really the cause? Hmm.
Get your passport. Lots of men are having more success
A fisherman stops fishing not because he's scared. It's because the fish stop biting.
Stop calling us Cowards, you're not helping anything 🤦
One of my former coworkers got suspended and forcibly transferred to another department because the younger woman in his department reported him for "being creepy" because he was overly helpful with her and super talkative. He was like that with everyone, including myself, and everyone knew that it was just his personality type. But the management still punished him because she demanded it. I had several other coworkers that were suspended or fired for similar situations. One gal at work managed to get three of my coworkers fired, all for the same allegations. Each time, it was just a dude talking with her and interacting with the her like anyone else and not walking on eggshells. Made my decision to stay single a lot easier. Less chance of losing my job. (Eventually quit that job but still don't date or approach)
I have known where the exact opposite happened. A couple of dudes in the head office of a Fortune 500 company were called to HR because a young lady at their office reported that the guy was 'anti social'. Essentially that the guy was not making small talk with her and that this was making her uncomfortable [this happened with two guys at two different times, with the same lady reporting them both]. Both of the men were fantastic team members and very good at their job. They just wanted to keep away from this lady unless warranted for work, as she was a known trouble maker. She has been sent several times by the company for 'anger management' training.
Ironically she reported the first guy after she repeatedly tried to get the guy to take her out for coffee and he politely refused [The guy is good looking, takes good care of his fitness]. When her attempts to get him to taker her out failed, unbelievably on a weekend she reached the approximate vicinity where she knew this guy lived in a luxurious condo building and gave him a call saying: 'Hey I am not far from where I know you live. HOw about us spending the day together, grabbing a brunch and later going to xyz concert'.
He was pretty rattled and politely refused her request to meet him. He kept a safe distance from her at work after this and made any interaction with her strictly confined to work/ business. Not long thereafter she reported him to HR. He was immediately called and given a talking to about improving his behavior so that young ladies in office don't feel uncomfortable of threatened. He narrated his side of the story. He was still counselled to make small talk with her so she is made more comfortable. He eventually left the job.
The exact same thing was repeated with another guy. He too left the place worried that some other allegation would be made against him and that HR and everyone will support the lady.
So you would wonder what happend to that lady, right? Her reputation within the office grew to the point that people started calling her the 'Office psycho'. Nonetheless, despite further 'Anger management sessions' that the company made her go through, they have not only retained her, but have actually promoted her several times. Last I checked she went on to become a manager, senior manager and now has an ever more impressive title - almost at par with a 'Director'!
And this is a company that most people worldwide are fully aware of.
And here is the kicker. While this is how this globally well known company dealt with her, there was another incident where a guy who also had 'anger related issues' acted up. This guy was not happy that a team did not meeet an important goal and also didnt inform the higher ups that the deadline would be missed. So he came down to the team's office and spoke to everyone that such an incident shall not be tolerated and he will come down heavily on the team if this was repeated. What happened? He got reported to HR. A few young ladies reported to HR that they are very worried what would happen given his 'threats'. The 'man' was told immediately that the entire FLOOR where this team was located, that entire floor [It is a huge building with several hundred people working on that floor], but he was told that he is banned from ever entering that floor. A week later he was fired!
Ironically, the tantrums thrown by that other woman with the anger management issues, were and are much worse, much frequent and crazy than what that other guy did ONCE. He was let go soon. She? Nothing happens to her. The constant explanation given about her is: 'Hey, Miss X? You all know about Miss X right? Miss X is just being Miss X, folks. Dont' take it too seriously'
@@samanthamccormick1505 let me guess, Lockheed Martin or Pfizer….those companies do that shyt all the time….
@@harrisn3693 Sorry, but your guess is incorrect :) Dream destinations, wonderful food, turquoise waters...Fortune 300
Here, in MA, there’s a law that took place in 2018 that qualify as harassment at work if you simply touch a woman, look at her , frequently or say something that made her feel uncomfortable among other people and some other if’s….. it’s just ridiculous! The State make us be afraid of approaching the women and it all happened because women and they are complaining about it now….🤣🤦♂️🤷♂️
I am SO glad you brought this up. I think some women's addictions to social media and the ensuing exposure to so many real stories about guys being creepy has whipped them up into paranoia or even thinking that they can get their 15 minutes of social media glory about putting dudes on blast who approach them. I do see female friends blasting out DM screenshots and a lot of these guys ARE creepy and deserve it, but some of them seem so innocent to me and I feel bad for the guys. "Ugh another compliment in my DMs" when it's just a guy saying he liked her jacket or something. OKAY we get it- you think you're hot. As for real-life approaches, a rejection to me used to be of a polite variety. You just took the hint and moved on. But lately I have noticed (and this could even be from joking with someone at a bar or remarking about something in order to start a conversation) that if the girl is with her friends I will get much more rude reactions. Last week at a bar I had a girl give me this dramatic silent sour face when I made joke about the song that had just come up. Then 15 minutes later she and her friends (who weren't even that attractive) just bumrushed this group of 6' 4" guys who wanted nothing to do with them. They had these huge in-love smiles on their faces and wouldn't even take the rejection from the guys. These 5/10 girls are going all-in just for a few minutes of attention from 9/10 guys who have little interest in them. I think I know where these girls will be in 10 years- on Reddit crying about how they can't get a man or how they are repulsed by and fixing to divorce their mid-range accountant husbands.
The game now is so messed up and anything beyond a lukewarm attempt at conversating now, I am backing off completely and only engaging with women who approach me. It sounds so bitter, and I am not a bitter guy. I've been with a LOT of women, I've gotten mine, so I feel for the young guys way more. The game just isn't fun anymore.
Wow man
You opened my eyes
This thing just hit me perfect " the game isnt fun anymore"
Wow mannn i dont even have words
Uptill now i was searching that how can i be attractive and manly
But i just forgot that its not just one sided but a clap is done by both hands
Girls also should be more feminine
Not just men to be more masculine
Uptill now i havent been approached by any girls but now i will not approach any women anymore
Thanks man
That story of 9/10 guys and 5/10 girls gave me a thought that even if it sounds a little narcissistic but think yourself as a 9/10 guy and the girls need your attention
Think yourself as a prize
You are right about only engaging with women who approach you. If a woman doesn’t show by her body language she’s interested in me I won’t bother with her. The old saying is there are plenty of fish in the sea, if a woman shows no interest find someone who does.
Damn man that's rough
Bro, the m3n who DM random vvomen really disgusts me. They enabled this behavior.
49ers are so annoying
It used to be that the worse thing that could happen is a woman politely declining. Now, that's the best thing that can happen. The common result these days is humiliation. The worst thing that can happen today is being MeTooed.
There's no reason for a man to approach a woman he doesn't know.
So how on earth will you ever meet anyone?
@@latinaalma1947
Some women approach men, young women and married women mainly.
@@latinaalma1947 Psst: You don't. You let the women have the cats, and you get yourself a dog and wait for the Chinese Overlords to move in and put all the women in brothels. Then maybe they'll want us.
@@latinaalma1947 Pray that you land in a good friends group in college.
Just become a pro athlete and the women will come to you
A creep to a woman is pretty much any man she's not attracted to. You literally can do and say the same thing to her. If she likes you she'll think it's cute if she doesn't like you she'll think you're a creep. The only dynamic that can change any of that is if you have the mutant ability to read her mind beforehand.
"Well said" (You nailed it). Respect!
fr no cap
That's why men need to stop taking it personal. It isn't them, it is her.
There is this young woman at my gym who is pretty fit - if she wants to use a piece of equipment you’re using, she won’t even ask you but will stand and look like she’s bothered and will just stare at you. I was at a squat rack and got uncomfortable with her staring so I went up to her to see if she wanted to use it because she clearly looked upset. She did but couldn’t even ask me despite the fact that I wasn’t wearing headphones. I was cordial about it, smiled, and it looks like it improved her mood but man it was kind of annoying that she couldn’t even ask but stood like I was in her way.
That’s why men don’t approach.
Fit or not, man or woman, she was rude. Her parents/carers have failed to instil basic manners in this one. Her behaviour is unacceptable and she is not owed anything. Her mood is irrelevant too and she does not have a right over you working out in peace. Report her ass to the gym owner if she does not follow simple etiquette.
ask her "is there a problem ?" YES Im waiting for that machine.......sure, as soon as Im done (take your time)........
I just take longer when people do that..
@@allenblack3785 and it's always your mf set! -CT Fletcher
@@stevenfreeman7265 lol😂
The pain of rejection is not the main reason why men don't approach, most men are aware that you have to maintain a respectable reputation in order to be successful. Randomly approaching women and accumulating rejections makes for a bad reputation in your social environment. Rejection is not just a defeat to get over, it is a brand no one wants to associate with because it marks you a loser. Reputation is sticky, better not to pollute it.
Excellent point.
If you believe approaching women will poison the well, then that attitude is why you are not successful. It's a matter of how confident you are with women.
@The Infamous Shawn Shaw
So by that logic, if a man is confident enough in a room with 10 women where 9 of them openly rejected him, do you think the 10th will be likely to overlook the fact that she is the last choice and no other woman has picked the guy, just because he's confident?
Or would it not be more likely that she thinks this guy ain't serious and can't get her any status but only awkwardness and shame in that social circle, since none of the other women would pick him? I agree, confidence can compensate for a lot, but preselection is still real.
The point is to not waste approaches on unlikely chances, that's not the same thing as "not approaching women at all because it poisons the well", there's nuance to it.
Btw you fail to notice two more things:
First, we're not talking about me but about the general case.
Second, I wasn't asking for any advice and I wouldn't take it from a stranger on the internet who claims his confidence makes all the difference, no offence ^^
Another big thing is most men don't have confidence because we've never been given a genuine compliment about anything. I feel this is pretty common for most men too, even if we pretend otherwise. I
I thought this was just me - I go multiple years between getting a single compliment, so when I get one I get caught off guard and wonder if it's a prank (because that's happened before)
@@Ebon_Sean it's happened to me before as well. It's horrible especially if you actually believe it at first
Difficult to build confidence with continue failures with attempting to date women. the confident guys are the guys getting all the women so women want guys who are with all the other women.
I wore contacts and got compliments from very very old women. 😂 60 70 80 years old.
That is a VERY TRUE assessment. Men are tired of being instantly rejected as "creepy" or whatever. Courtney hits the nail on the head.
This is what drives me nuts about how guys have to approach. If you have social anxiety and a lack of confidence. It makes it very very hard to approach a girl and on top of that you will get girls trying to humiliate you in public and in front of her friends.
I was born a shy and quiet person, this is who I am and I will not change that for anyone. That being said, all I’ve every wanted is do have someone who loves me just as much as I love them.
Yes. I can have a good time, but when a woman smiles or even starts talking to me, I immediately go into self preservation mode wondering what her (surely nefarious) agenda is.
"i will not change that for anyone" wrong attitude dude. Sorry but you won't get anyone thinking like that.
Guys, try this line the next time a girl flirts with you or maybe stands too close, etc: "Want to make out?" (you might try want to GO make out if you can't there). She will almost certainly open with "No" but I've found half the time (if you know how to read women) the ones who are offering buying signs will say "No, I mean I do, but I can't now, but later..." and then they will 5 minutes later. But the key is, you sort of expect to be shot down and can sort of laugh like you were being sarcastic.
@@bigneiltoo this assumes that any of us have had any woman flirt with us in x amount of time. I haven't dated in 6 years. I don't even know how to start or where to go to meet women.
@@destructorzz7197 Well it’s obvious you don’t know what it is like being a shy person and it’s obvious you don’t understand. It is apart of who you are and you can just turn it off like a light switch. Your comment is very cold, rude and heartless. You didn’t need to come on and say that. But it sounds like your attitude is to just suck it up and deal with it. I would appreciate you not commenting something so heartless.
I’m afraid to approach a girl as well. I’ve been played a lot and tired of rejection. I’m a very authentic and genuine guy, but a lot of the time, it’s not worth pursuing a woman because they’re becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.
fr no cap
I understand why a bunch of the guys I know have decided not to approach anymore. For me it was just not wanting the drama of it all. In the end it just felt like I was putting my hand into a fire when I know what will happen.
Literally dated this girl I met and in the first date we started kissing and she even asked me what my favorite sex position was .
@@abolisher an anomaly bragging hard. Stop it man, you are looking ridiculous.
@@Totsugaru it’s not bragging if it’s the truth but let me just say this that’s not the type of girl you want to date if you want something serious.
@@abolisher OH, got it. My apologies, I misinterpreted your post.
@@Totsugaru keep working on yourself good noncreepy men find a purpose hit the gym write some goals down that you’d like to achieve and they will come to you not you to them.
Over the last month or two, I've been learning about this war on men and masculinity, and it's been so eyeopening. I've wept reading and listening to these videos about how men are mistreated. I can't believe they have to deal with that on a regular basis. Men, know that there are female advocates out there for you. I'm so sorry if you've had a bad experience, and I hope it gets better for you soon!
Until women are marching on Washington DC to demand a reversal to the laws that are out there that can rob a man of everything we have built, I'll reserve judgment on the authenticity of women who claim to be female advocates.
Females are the reason for that. Wish that we could go back to the 1950s Inshallah women especailly in western countries die alone
No worries things are much better without you. Thanks for your concern.
@@kongvolmerii2683 Don’t be mean about it.
I believe that misandrist led feminism , which is well funded & legally backed , is a major factor. Girls are taught to despise human males in Western countries , from an early age. Sadly , for every woman like yourself , there are many thousands that view men as moronic filth that think with their genitalia.
I am 38 now, my days of approaching women are over by my own choice. I wasn't very good at it anyways lol. For young guys now it must be terrifying given your approach could be all over the Internet or shared around school/college/work whatsapp groups being publicly ridiculed and called creepy or worse.
No way would I approach a woman these days even if I wanted too. The only relationships I've had were from Internet dating, was too introverted to approach women in pubs/clubs etc. On the rare occasion that I did it usually ended up with a rejection or sometimes humiliation. That look a woman does when she just basically rolls her eyes and just tells you to go away or she just ignores you or walks away ain't fun at all. Or maybe that just happened to me!
Not just you brother
I had similar things happen to me through the online dating. I actually stopped dating completely about 3 years ago. I am now 42, and a woman. It was too painful.
Same age, ended up buying a sex doll. No more toxicity in my life.
Woman literally ran away from me like I was the Goddamn Devil. It happens, but gotta get over that shite.
@@Infamous1892 Sorry, I had to laugh at that. I have to ask. What are you doing to get such a reaction as that? Are you serious? If so, you really must do something about your technique.
You approach a woman. She turns you down. You say okay and forget her. But then she starts to worry about what happens next, what is all in her head. Next thing you know, you're in a confrontation with the police who are talking about stalking charges and you have no idea what's going on. It only takes one of these experiences to cure you of approaching women
My theory is this:
Modern American/Canadian women have been convinced by radical feminism that a man being attracted to their beauty is shallow, misogynistic, and even sexist.
Cold approaching women is a turn off in modern society. After all “he doesn’t even know me” and “he just thinks I’m hot and there’s so much more to me than that”
Knowing this is what’s spinning through womens heads is the reason I always let women come to me. It’s becoming frustrating though as these women are beautiful and fun, but display many masculine traits outside of approaching people they’re interested in first which has been the mans role for centuries.
Im tired of dating masculine women. And I know deep down, they are tired of being masculine. Feminism has got to chill.
That is why my last 2 gfs were Filipinas and I'm not going back to dating a westerner for the life of me.
Damn! And now they are being misandristic, and then accusing the men of misogyny, when in reality, it's misandrists somehow annihilating people.
Story time: When I was probably 13 or so, had just hit puberty, I had a crush on a girl. I didn't know her or anything, and we had barely spoken, but I thought she was cute. At some point I was at my friend's place and he was skyping his girlfriend. They asked me if I had a crush on any girls and I said yes, but didn't reveal who it was. They pestered me until I told them who it was, and then said things like "Aw, that's cute. You should ask her out". Literally the next morning as I'm putting my stuff away in the little open cubbies we had in homeroom, my crush walks up to me, visibly upset, in front of the class, and says "Do you like me?". I said "Yeah, I do", and then she goes "Ew..." and walks away. I've had a crippling fear of embarrassment and rejection ever since. I somehow managed to have a girlfriend for a few months when I was 19, but otherwise I've only been into a few women who I waited far too long to ask out and they either had lost interest by that point or were never interested in the first place. I am trying to work on myself now and try dating again, but the current social climate really doesn't give me much hope. RIP.
Edit: forgot to mention I'm 30 now.
What the hell??😂🤣🤣
Bro Why let that bother you if it was when you were 13 do you still look the same as you do now ?if not let it go
@@abolisher It was a long time ago, but having that happen at such a young age leaves scars on your mind. Honestly, at the time, while I felt betrayed and rejected, it could have affected me more than it did. It's mostly in retrospect I see how it subtly changed how I interacted with women and made me socially anxious around them.
@@deathdriver23 A genuine traumatic experience.
@@deathdriver23 that’s one girls opinion man not every girl is going to think the same about you some girls will find you attractive other girls won’t it’s just the way it is no matter how attractive or unattractive you look we all see differently. I recommend letting go of that past if it wasn’t good why remember it especially if it does damage to you right now or in the future. Me and some girl split up because she wouldn’t let go of her past from abuse cheating lies so she assumed every guy no after him would do the same. It’s not healthy for the healthy party to deal with such things no matter how much you care about that person.
When I was a teenager I was worried they'd say no. As I grew older that fear left me and a new fear replaced it, the fear they'd say YES! 😂
Back then i feared a broken heart, now i fear a broken rubber
FACT
Mgtow for life! Fat bank account and no drama!
Freakin'CC said it best: *FACTS*
Agree, a woman that likes you is a real threat.
*With social dynamics and dating expectations changing, it's understandable why many men feel hesitant to approach. The focus on how confidence can now be misinterpreted as intrusion is eye-opening. It’s a reminder of the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in today’s dating world.*
I completely stopped approaching women years ago and feel I'm better off in my life ever since. When I was younger, the whole rejection aspect was terrifying, but now polite/respectful rejections don't bother me. However, there were a few times that rejections I received were actually malicious with a clear intent on public humiliation. Like how dare that I even considered approaching her. Those stung deep.
There's a core issue at play here in the dynamics between men and women. I think it's something like 85% of women only want to be with the top 10% of men (the exact numbers may be off, but not by much). For example, women who are 4s - 6s feel like they're really 9s or 10s and therefore only want men who are also 9s or 10s (which is less than 10% of the male population). There's a dark trend with having standards that are too high and unrealistic. They gotta be > 6" tall, gotta have a 6-figure income, gotta have the chiseled physique, etc. At the same time, a lot of those women are themselves out of shape, yet demand to be treated like princesses/queens, and use sex as leverage.
There is no accountability in modern society. And that has unfortunately led us to the state we're in with movements like MGTOW and a lack of desire to even attempt to initiate dating/courting relationships. The other 15% of women who do want to be approached and don't have unrealistic standards are feeling the pain that has resulted from how the 85% have been behaving for the past few decades.
Courtney is spot on calling these bad women out who have ruined it for everyone else.
And you know what is ultimately to blame? The modern day 3rd wave feminism. I'm not anti-feminist in the least. Everyone, regardless of gender, should have equal rights, equal opportunities, equal treatment. But modern feminism isn't about equality. It's about denigrating all males period and promoting that all females are superior, regardless of the content of their character and how they behave in life. This is the antithesis of equality and is leading to the downfall and collapse of western civilization.
BTW, I raised my daughter since age 12 as a single parent full time through her attending college. She's an adult now and in a healthy long-term relationship with her boyfriend. He treats her right and she treats him right, and I could not be more proud of the young adult she has become. Because of this, part of me does have hope that maybe not all is lost in our society and with real introspective and accountability, our civilization could overcome this dark age we're living now right now.
Love this comment ❤ Glad you brought up MGTOW… It was shocking to me when I first heard those statistics about women but the more I learn, it’s absolutely true 😢
I’m just glad that you were able to bring a child into this world. When I was younger, I wanted to be the father I never had. That ship has most likely sailed.
@@DomDeVille I hoped to find a wife and have about five kids. No women I talked with wanted more than one, and thought that was too much.
Feminism is not about equality bro.
Yes, for 6 decades women have had their self esteem pumped up. Its so sad its funny, a bunch of obese women at a bar with minimal incomes talking about how they deserve the best. if it wasnt sad, it would be funny.
I definitely do not approach any woman anymore . I give a small smile and some eye contact and for the most they don’t wanna be bothered or look like they don’t wanna be bothered. I’m 46 I’m used to rejection that’s not a thing anymore. I was married for 20 years and I’m single now and the game has 100 percent changed from 22 years ago. I’m good staying out of the market for now.
Yup its gotten a lot worse, for a buyer
SMART MOVE!
I'm just a year older than you, but never had been married. Yes, in today's society (hypergamy) unless you are a certifiably top 10% man, there is absolutely no reason to persue women.
Now in real-life, if the moment pops up where I want to compliment a woman, or a co-worker, I do. Granted I judge every moment. With female co-workers it's super dangerous if you don't know what your doing. Remember, I'm not looking to be involved with these women, but if I feel like complimenting them I will.
I'm still attracted to women, and I will voice that attraction (in appropriate ways). I know it will go nowhere, and I don't even care about the response. Most of the time it's positive and friendly.
@@OriginalTodzilla Dude you’re flirting with disaster complimenting a co-worker! Just saying! There’s an old saying… never dip your quill in the company’s ink 😎
@@OriginalTodzilla You sound like a smart and reasonable man, but you should keep in mind that there are women out there who do not live by the "reasonable person" standard. They might try to trash your life for basically no reason at all.
Women genuinely seem disinterested even after you've made the approach and broken the ice. The conversation is usually one-sided and its all just really draining after youve heard "no" in just about every way imaginable. For that reason I've decided to throw in the towel. Honestly when i see attractive women in public i avoid even looking at them. Dating just isn't "fun" as a guy, not for me at least. Just a bunch of anxiety followed by one sh!t test after another. I've learned to love my own company and enjoy other things while being single. There's better things to do with life that don't involve feeling like you're walking a tightrope for a woman's approval.
You can live your best life being single too. I feel like the longer the wait becomes, the easier it is for you to focus on becoming your best version. However for me, I'm still willing to try dating if given the opportunity. Some women say you need all of these checkboxes to start dating, but who says I can't learn those things while having the relationship begin sooner? The longer I wait, the more suspenseful it feels especially if I desire it.
Exactly, you can hang out with buddies, play video games, work out if you want, invest your time in your job or career, watch movies/series. All that stuff sounds more fun than risking rejection
Sometimes you don’t even need to do anything. Not look. Not talk. And women will act like they are being harassed. All pretentious. Believe me. That didn’t happened to me when I was in shape and with hair. All of the sudden is like a metamorphosis that this people feel so uncomfortable. And so refreshing when you talk to that 100% that realise that you are just a person. I am not talking about trying anything. Forget about that. Just breathing in the same room.
fr no cap
Thanks Courtney, I'm part of that 65%, I've been watching your videos for over a year. During that time I've lost 115 Lbs. I work out every day. I've gone from a 46 to a 34 waist. I have used your video's to change my fashion (my son has also help me in this area). I'm working on my confidence. I finally asked someone out for this weekend. I hope it works out. The reason I haven't asked it that I was afraid of looking like a creep. Thanks for all your help.
Me too i love courtney divorced 53 i watch chair before i went shopping don't get discouraged date in the us get your passport lemon outside of the us will change your life i'm here in the philippines since october more days in 1 month then i had in several years when i was young before i got married
Nice job, Steve! Way to take control of your situation! Keep up the good work! 🤘🤘
Do the improvements Steve for yourself. Don't do them for some woman you don't know.
I have a feeling this video is the endgame for all men. What it all boils down too.
I met someone 2 years ago who wasn't creeped out when I approached her - but sucks she turned out to be very narcissistic. Taking a break from relationships, I have noticed an increase of these situations lately. You have to look like a Giga Chad in order to approach. I recall someone even back in 2008 when a random woman was yelling saying she won't mind if a Hugh Jackman came up to her and swept her away. I avoid those types of woman like the plague ever since, and from the looks of it - its gotten worse lol
Gigachad was coined by Undeadcronic..!!! 👊🏾💯
We got an epidemic of narcissism lately due to social media
Depends on where you read it. Seems a bit suspicious, so the source certainly matters.
In my experience focusing on women is stupid. Focusing on bettering yourself will inevitably draw women towards you. I think dudes need to stop focusing on trying to get women; especially young dudes
Men get treated as a threat to women and children, until proven otherwise, on a regular basis. Which I think creates nervousness in men. And then with that mindset men are likely to behave in an unconfident way that women find creepy. Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle.
Which is why some men would rather just not risk it
In reply to a couple of similar points that Courtney made, which are all well taken. First, being seen as "creepy" or some very negative reaction is a real deterrent to not only approaching a girl but also making a move physically after a number of dates. Many times, I can sense when a girl wants me to initiate a kiss or a touch, but not always or it can be unclear how far she wants you to go. I have had situations where I can tell and so I take them in my arms and kiss them and we go as far as she desires, which is clear. On the other hand, I have had situations where I don't sense any sexual interest and then the girl does something odd such as lunge at me or lie down on the floor in front of me. I have been so taken off-guard by these antics that I have frozen.
This type of lack of clarity came up in one particular case that still haunts me. I was in a very serious relationship where I had very strong romantic feelings for the girl. We would kiss some but that was about it. Then one night she asked me to spend the night after a late night date. I had to drive about 70 miles to get back to where I lived at the time and so that was the pretext of her inviting me to spend the night at her house. We kissed a little on the couch but it did not progress, as usual. She then showed me to the spare bedroom and she gave me a toothbrush and some toothpaste. I watched her carefully but did not sense anything sexual off of her. Even though I had strong feelings for her, I sensed something was not quite on an even keel with her. I knew that she liked me but there was something behind the scene that I could feel was interfering with her opening up to me more. In fact, she had not opened up to me at all in terms of her past or her family or much of anything. Usually, a girl whom I am dating goes into a lot of depth and detail with me by this time in a relationship. I later found out that she came from an extremely wealthy family. When I discovered that, I could see one reason for her being hesitant to disclose her family background with a man until she could fully trust him over an extended time. But there was more that I was sensing.
The next morning when I got up, she greeted me in a friendly way and we sat on the couch snuggled up together before she fixed us something to eat. After a few minutes, she asked me why I did not enter her bedroom naked and jump into bed with her and make love to her. I was shocked out of my mind by her looking into my eyes and demanding to know why I did not push myself into her bedroom uninvited. I said point blank, "If I had any indication that is what you wanted, I would have done that very thing, but I did not get any hints from you to do any such a thing. I had thought of it and would have liked to join you in bed, but I was afraid of the possibility of you starting to scream when you saw me aroused and naked coming at you and then you calling the police." She smiled and we went onto something else. Then she showed me some pictures in an album taken while she was in college. This girl had an edge to her personality. She admired the character of Ann Kelsey on L.A. Law and acted a lot like her, sort of with a constant chip on her shoulder. When I saw one photo with her looking off into the distance, I said, "You look sensitive in that picture." She turned to me and said with anger in her voice, "Yeah, I used to be that way and then I found out that is not the way to be!!!" She closed up the album and stormed into the next room. When she came back, she said," Chris, I am not going to to cater to you!" in a very harsh and hostile tone. She went ahead and fixed us hamburgers but then during the entire meal, she just glared at me as if she hated me and repeated the same refrain, "Chris, I am not going to cater to you!!!" I became totally disoriented.
She said at the end of the meal that she had to go to work, which she had already told me before this outburst. She repeated the refrain again as we walked out the door and she said it again as I got into my car. I never saw her again. That broke my heart, but I was not shocked. She had told me earlier that she had exploded on the guy whom she was dating just before me. He was a Navy flyer and had made a comment in jest about her less than perfect eyesight (I knew another guy previously who wanted to be a pilot and he was obsessed with strengthening his eyesight because at that time the military would not take men to train with less than 20/20 vision, so perfect eyesight is something constantly on pilots' minds and which they are anxious about). She told me that when he said that, she jumped off the couch and demanded that he leave immediately. That is when she turned to me. But then I got the same treatment a few months later from her. I suspect that I had accidentally stumbled into reminding her of another young man who had exploited her and hurt her deeply when she was in college, and she was exploding in anger toward this pilot and me with her real target being a jerk in her past. That residual anger is what I was sensing earlier and so guarded myself when being with her.
I am afraid with the Sexual Revolution and casual dating, this sort of thing lies behind the current trend of women's cloistering themselves from men and over-reacting when men approach them or do something that reminds them of being taken advantage of sexually. This problem of damaged women is epidemic and is at the root of the difficulties that sincere men face in approaching women. It is rational for men to be extremely careful in how they do approach an attractive girl. This same problem came up in my marriage when my wife believed I was committing adultery, which I did not, every time I was a few minutes later than she had expected me to arrive home. Her first husband was a serial adulterer and his having a child with another woman ended my wife's marriage to him. She kept re-living that hurt with me even though I never gave her any rational basis for her thinking that I was not faithful to her.
I got yelled at once by a girl because she'd came over to watch a movie.. we'd never done anything even remotely sexual together before or even talked about it or been flirtatious really at all.. She was mad at me because I never once made a move on her during the movie we watched together... I was like.. I never picked up a hint that you were open to me making any moves so I was being respectful and didn't want you to feel pressured outside of your comfort.. I have 3 older sisters so I can sympathize with the aftermath women feel when they've been taken advantage of and growing up I'd always vowed to not be that guy... I just found the whole situation mind blowing... whole situation really put me off from ever talking to her again..
I don't talk to random women or even make eye contact if I can avoid it. I keep myself focused on working out, finances, and my other hobbies.
When I'm at work I don't socialize with female co-workers and if I have to meet with them it's never behind closed doors or outside of the office.
Years ago I dated frequently and enjoyed it somewhat but I'm honestly happier single. For me there is no fixing the dynamic anymore. I'm just done.
I’m happy you’re taking care of yourself. That’s super important. 👍🏻 I’m a wymen lol 😆 I mean woman, and yeah, I understand or at least try to understand what’s it like for men right now (I have 2 brothers) and I definitely want men to feel good about themselves.
I once extended my hand to help a girl getting off of the bus so that she does not slide on an icy ground, she looks at me as a creep. I instantly regretted it. Since then, I stopped offering them help in public. If helping in public make you look creep, making a conversation can get you SWAT.
Bro, don't make life changing decisions on a single event like that. Some women, like some guys, are peckerheads and when they do something dumb, it should be water off a duck's back as far as you're concerned. You should continue to be a considerate guy, just next time be sure to ask if she would like help first. If she says no, and if she says no in a graceless way, just realize that you are a nice guy and you are a better man for it. The human race is deeply flawed, but that does not mean that you have to be. You can be better than that, and your life will be better for it. Some fools think that being nice is the same as being weak. This is not at all necessarily the case. You can be basically a nice guy, but still be strong and self-confident. It doesn't mean you have to fawn over anyone.
@@guitarista666 nice try satan
@@guitarista666 talking to one before knowing if they are going to lie and get the thrown in jail, just cause they were bored for that hour. is just asking to get deleted off the planet
Next time you see her slip and fall, just say “if only there was a creep to help you balance”
@@mostlypeacefulguntraining You need help. You obviously have a very low level of personal development.
I stopped approaching altogether right out of high school. It's never EVER been worth it. All my relationships are basically from casual conversations or them being interested in me and I'm completely OK with that. It's not worth the stress and waste of time approaching women. They are the selectors after all, let them choose.
Amen.
I stopped approaching because it's just simply not worth it, the last girl i tried to approach was last year, she was a good looking red head, she worked at smart and final as a cashier, I tried to strike a conversation with her how she looked like mary jane from spiderman, she smiled and replied she looked more like a Donna, I liked her and i wanted to get to know her, the second time I went, I wanted a excuse to come and see her at smart and final, so I went to go buy a gallon of milk, even though I had 2 gallons at home already😉,
I was lining up to her lane to check out my gallon, then she saw me, I saw the look on her face, she look discomforted, and when it was my turn to check my stuff out, she left, and another employee checked my stuff out, after I left I looked from the window from outside and she was back to where she was cashing customers out, this hurt me so much, I really liked her, and I wanted to get to know her, I never wanted her to feel this way, I had very good intentions, I wanted her, I looked her way and it wasnt appreciated, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,☹, I stopped shopping there for so many months now, because I was afraid she would've called the manager, and banned me from shopping there
in the end I didn't mean to be a bother, all I wanted was to get to know her in baby steps, now I see it's not appreciated, so i stopped, I got really so sad about it, I didn't mean to get her like that, all I just wanted was to make a move without being perceived as a threat, now I see that no longer possible, but if women want a relationship and dont like how the guys make the move then women should be the ones to bear the responsibility to make the move, let women know what it's like to be in the shoes of a average male for a change, let them know what it's like to be in the shoes of the guys they rejected, men are done with the go get her game, because women have made it too difficult for not only for men to approach, but for other women who do want to be approached, they are killing it for the girls who do want men to look their way,
@@JohnSmith-pl4sf Look after yourself first. Become better mentally, physically, financially etc. Surround yourself with good people and set personal goals. Life will continually test you. Getting stronger will help you overcome these tests. No one owes you a relationship and vice versa. If someone wants to be with you they will be and if not, then no problem. All the best.
fr no cap
I know I’m no oil painting. I’m only 5,2 and have a disability that gives me painful tremors in my legs so I always look sketchy and nervous. When I’m not. I m a naturally helpful and kind person . Not a simp I give respect to anyone who deserves itI I saw a beautiful woman at the shops and gave a polite smile. She called me a sexist . That can damage a person move than any disability
It's nice when someone talks to you like a human and not yells how much of a beta you are for being rejected. You have a really good approach, thank you for your insight!
My pronouns are, "I don't want to go to court!" :)
Btw thanks for advocating for men in a kind way and also, communicating to women kindly.
Some people with your kind of platform are harsh and it creates more conflict than progress or learning lessons on both ends.
You're a great mediator, thank you!
a friend of mine is going through it now, trying to stop a girl from hitting him by catching her hands and arms and HE went to jail, he is shook to the core about his job, kid, house and future, they just aren't worth it, steer clear seems to be the best advice.
I’m married but I feel sorry for single guys. We’re told on tik tok, IG and fb that we aren’t supposed to approach women at the gym, the grocery store, on the street or pretty much anywhere else. Look overseas men!
TikTok is not real I got more dates on gym then on tinder
@@nemzi8969 wrong place, what if something goes wrong between you two, someone will have to change gyms
Makes sense to me, maybe the real issue is white American females.. You're basically a creep to them unless you're hot, rich, famous, or have a bbc it seems. It's all Disney's fault with that princess bs still tbh.
@@theworldisimmense or just become an early morning gym goer!
@@theworldisimmense So what? Why you have such a negative aditude
I have an uncommon spinal deformity so it is almost pointless for me to approach women like that I would be labeled as a creep instantly and people love to make negative assumptions about my body. When I was younger I was harassed so much for it that it made me want to be reclusive in my 20s. It seems hopeless that anyone would look past that, it seems like the deal breaker for everyone
🥺 I’m sorry you’ve experienced that 🤗
well dam sorry to hear that dude no cap
I think a lot of women get satisfaction from humiliating men who are interested in them, or just in general.
All the success I’ve had with dating has been from women approaching me first. That seems to be the way to go nowadays.
This is great and all, but what if women either don’t approach you, or it’s YEARS in between women approaching you? 99% of the men that watch this channel are getting ZERO approaches.
If you don’t respect yourself you’ll never be respected by any girl. Take care of yourself first.
@@holleringsmith3837 I’ve never been approached and been single for 10 years. The older I get the less interest I have in even putting myself out there. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be, and you need to make the best of your life regardless.
Same.
Listen to Darius M. He is pretty black pilled but he talks about this.
It gets tough when every woman u ask out tells u she’s already got somebody. After awhile u just start assuming there all taken.
When she says that she’s not interested in you sorry to say. I met this girl we talked for a bit and she gave her socials even after knowing she was in a 5 year relationship with someone .
Plus, women say they want a man who is honest and trustworthy, yet many lie to men that they have a BF, etc. When they do not.
@@meddyven lies and more lies Ed...women say that but u know is BS....
Woman are compulsive liars.
Girls will make exceptions for men they like and barriers and rules for men they don't. One of the workers I supervise got a chick's number even as she explicitly stated she already had a boyfriend. Meanwhile I had a woman agree to multiple dates but got ghosted on all of them due to "family issues" (she was actually getting blasted by Chad at the club).
I'm one of the 11%. I'm 5'4" and have a mole next to my nose. I have accepted the fact that attempting to date in today's society is just nearly impossible on top of being labeled creepy. Aside from surgery and becoming "unnatural" and prefering my women natural it's a real struggle. I attended a cousins wedding one time and was having friendly conversation with a friend of hers from out of state. She wasn't my type and I wasn't even attracted to her so it was just normal questions as far as I was concerned. I asked her "Where are you staying?" and a look of visible discuss came over her face as if I was trying to get her to come home with me. I don't even remember what her response was, but I know we didn't interact the rest of the wedding. I was so upset that she even thought that was my intention. It's left a scar on my social interactions. Now I don't even attempt to flirt unless I get the feeling she is flirting with me first which never happens and I'm mostly put in the friend zone for this reason. I've got plenty of girl "friends".
I'm 71 and gave up 30 years ago.
I was a male model and successful actor in local theatre often getting write ups in the paper. I was a blond, blue eyed Southern California surfer. I didn't have squat for money but they didn't know that, hahaha. I was also an Ivy League graduate, from a family with, shall we say, significant resources, although I didn't ever rely on, or seek that, or even think about it. In my my mind I was just another guy trying my best to get somewhere in my profession. But this was California, and no one knew any of that either and wouldn't have cared. The point is, I was what they call now high-value, even if I didn't myself think so in those days. I was also extremely shy and a complete introvert. But I tried to overcome it. the modeling and acting came from my attempt to grow past it and helped. Nevertheless, my self esteem was destroyed by what I would experience there, as you'll see.
Even in the prime of my youth, in the late 70s, I seldom approached women because I never got a look or a smile or a flirtatious sign. Instead I got the most angry, mean looks of hate and revulsion. Like a combination of about to throw up or scream for a cop. Everywhere, passing on the street, in the grocery store, at social gatherings, and worst of all in the clubs. That cut into my soul and hurt so much. It wears on you. Over and over and over, what is reflected back to you from the women in the world is that you are scum, a hideous, dangerous monster. It's not easy to maintain any level of self confidence receiving that endlessly day after day.
I always thought it was me. Why did they hate me, they don't even know me? It was actually somewhat of a relief when I heard it wasn't just me, and it even had a name, Resting Bitch Face. I had often felt it was me that caused it, or my subconscious psychological filters that made me see it that way. Even in bars, dance clubs, so called pickup scenes, that's all I saw, aimed at me. I rarely, almost never, approached them at all. Anywhere.
I found it not only mean, but off putting. Why would I ever want to spend time with a woman with that much visible anger, which read as hatred and fear of men. It read as the non-verbal message: "get the hell away from me!"? But still it hurt deeply and compounded over and over...
If I got my courage up and just went for it, crossed the 1000 mile wide dance floor in front of the whole crowd, and asked someone to dance, almost always rejection. Occasionally they were just not up for dancing at the moment, and that was clear, no harm no foul, but more often she'd slash me with some vicious cutting remark, and she and her friends would laugh. If I stuck around, brushing it off, which was tough, I'd see them talking to other people in the club, glancing at me, and then snickering. This just snowballed and snowballed.
This is already way too long, but I got carried away setting the scene, and I'm also a writer. I'll try to wrap up quickly.
By the time I hit 40, I was having deep depressions, suicidal ideation, and was falling apart. Then I got evicted during the housing boom, as they wanted to cut the house I rented into condos. My 95 year old grandmother was living alone back east and had a fall, so I gave up my California surfer dream and acting dream and went back and lived with her. I never even tried to go out again and meet local people. When she passed a year later, I bought a little cabin in the country and I've been here alone for 30 years now. I'm happy but lack touch and kindness. I don't get lonely surprisingly, but I do miss companionship and just someone to talk to.
I don't know why or how I came across this video, and others like it, popped up in my suggestions, but these algorithms somehow can read minds. LOL
It's tough for all of us. Always has been and got way worse when the *ahem, wink wink, nudge, nudge* "cultural shift" that started in the early 70s consumed the women in my generation, then spread across the world, just as I was coming of age seeking dates.
It just gets more and more extreme. Now we're toxic and all in on the patriarchy, controlling and oppressing women because we look down on them as inferior and believe we are "entitled" to their attention and respect, and of course their submission and sexual favors on command.
I just turned 71. I'm now very 'financial secure' due to my own earnings saved by 25 years of solo living, a low cost lifestyle, and a surprisingly large inheritance. l can go and live anywhere and buy anything I want. I have no interest in material possessions though. I could provide for a wife, and children and be a full time partner and father.
But all I want is someone who will be kind to me. To notice me, to appreciate me. Just to smile at me. Not sneer at me like I'm a creep.
Old white straight men are the most reviled and despised and blamed demographic on the planet. Yet we're supposed to have a lock on all the power, and privileges and rule the world.
So Courtney, do you think I should get myself out there again and just try?
(p.s. Courtney, I really appreciate your videos and understanding, immensely. I'm not trying to be snarky, just realistic. It meant everything to come across these the past few days and gives me hope. Thank you so much.)
I am 36, persian male. I get dirty evil looks from western women for existing.
But I started learning Japanese and hispanic women are around me these days. It's night and day difference.
I get mad love and I do take care of myself with dieting, exercise, hair salon, shaving and dressing well.
Western women are too hateful. Did you try dating outside the western?
I used to go for a walk at lunch on a walking path that went by several businesses. I would see all sorts of people walking it and I would give a head nod, or a smile when I passed people. Guys would almost always acknowledge me, but not one woman in 7 years would. I just don't even bother any more.
I work a glass fabrication job and earn 40k a year before OT. I'm 5'5. I am not fat but not shredded and play airsoft on some weekends on top of 3 days a week at the gym.
I'm not on the radar, and the fear of being asked to leave a place of business because someone said I was being creepy is my biggest fear in modern times. I just keep to myself, keep my head forward, headphones in, and finish my business before going home to my dogs that I would give the world for.
This is the kind of life I see for myself in some years 👍🏼
I would say I am 5'10 and slowly getting muscular. At 31 I am ok with being alone.
Being called creepy is the most dehumanising thing I could experience it hurts me so much and I’ve had it happen so I know from experience and it makes you feel very filthy
Dang, that must suck.
Don’t give in to the butchery of English language in America.
@@lorenebonsu146 it did but I’ve been able to move past it you know sometimes it pops up but overall it’s much better
@@Anonymous-pt6sv Honestly I feel you in a way, as an super awkward girl I always fear coming off that way but, I guess since im female people just see me as funny, or nice, or cute or some shit. I'm sure if I was male I would get the same treatment. The only difference between us is I'm the same but, get treated much better. I hope your ok now, try not to let it replay too much in your head or you'll drive yourself into depression.
Being sued for seksharassment would be wrse I would imagine.
Yes, I am a failure on all levels. I picked the wrong major. I failed at engaging in crucial conversations. I burned out of civil engineering at the age of 32 after years of nightime chest pains, not being able to look at myself in the mirror, and having nerveous breakdowns by afternoons. I got tired of pretending to be someone I was not. I am now 57 and worked on low level, near minimum wage jobs since I resigned from engineering. So far, I have interacted with only five women during my life and each one ghosted me after a relative short time. I have a congenital severe hearing loss from birth. I never really had any father figure, except for a cool trombone instructor (I ended my university years with two credits short of a minor in music). I am a square peg in a round hole. Clearly, I have nothing to offer any woman, so I do not waste any of their time by putting myself on the "dating" chopping block. Sigh. I live in isolation and can easily imagine myself being thrown out onto the street to join many other useless, invisible homeless men.
Here's where I'm at now. I'm 29, introvert, shy, socially anxious. For most of my life I was in love with some girl. There were girls who I've never even approached, there were times either I confessed or privately told about it to a "friend" who then spread the word around the class in school and the others either mocked me for it or were just laughing at me behind my back.
With other girls I previously formed a friendship and when I confessed they shut me down immediately, one of them was seriously rude to me. There was also one who really made me think she was in love with me. Our "friendship" even got to a point where said things to me like "I miss you" and "I love you"... but when I wanted us to be more than friends, she insisted on that she never considered me more than a friend. Actually, I had to comfort her because she was devastated that our friendship is now ruined. So, it was all hell.
With the last girl, when I was 23, I did everything I could to not fall in love with her because at that point I realised if I'm in love with someone I screw up for sure. I tried to be more strategic. She had a boyfriend for a while but I decided to befriend the boyfriend so that I can be around her. Also the guy didn't seem to be the loyal type. I was right, they were together for a year then the guy left her for someone else. Long story short, I asked her out, she said she only liked me as a friend.
Anyway, it took me some time to get over it, but finally I realised something. All my life I was in love with love itself, the idea of it, and projected onto someone I found attractive. I thought a lot about this and I think in my childhood, all those Hollywood movies and fairy tales showed me that the hero can't find happiness until he/she finds love. And then the two of them live happily ever after, right? Well, I definitely felt unhappy. I never had any siblings, didn't really have lasting friendships or friends that I could trust or count on... and I was always shy and awkward around people. So there was this idea that "finding love solves everything". Well, it just gave me misery.
And the thing I realised is that labeling a romantic partner as "your other half" is not healthy. I felt that I can't be happy because I'm not complete. But here's the trap: expecting to achieve happiness from another person just won't work. Even if I had managed to get a girlfriend, I don't think it would have been a healthy relationship.
I finally decided that I need to find my own happiness alone. And then find someone who found her own happiness so we can share our happiness with each other. (I'm not trying to spout universal truths here, I'm talking about what will hopefully work for me.) So that's what I've been trying to focus on for the past 2-3 years. I'm not there yet, but I definitely feel better. I don't care about girls now. Even if there's someone I find attractive, I just couldn't care less. And it's soooo liberating. Well, that's the story of why I don't approach women. :D
In more ways than one, you’re better off than most men.
As a man, I am super careful in social situations. I was on a plane sitting next to a woman. I did not speak to her nor try to start a conversation because it appeared she did want to do so. I'm really cautious about what I say to a woman whether it be in a business environment or everyday life. Respecting boundaries and being cautious makes my days more enjoyable and keeps me from hassles.
Nope Courtney. We're not "putting ourselves out there" anymore. Too risky. Most of us aren't rich. We can't afford getting fired, arrested, sued, smeared online, or have a restraining order filed against us over a woman. I'm almost 42 and I've accepted my fate. I'll most likely spend whatever's left of my life alone. And in the end, nothing matters because you have to lose everything
I'm near 30 feel the same way, at least we can say we tried. I'm not even interested as I were in my teens and early twenties anyway. It would if been lovely but we don't get what we want in life.
I don't blame you
I once approached a woman who I thought was pretty. I asked her how she found out about this particular social group. The first word of her response was a loud "Ewww". And she immediately went into some big spiel about not having daddy issues. I had never even heard of that topic before that. I had no idea what it meant. And I was about 30 while she was maybe mid 20s. And all I asked her was how she had heard about the group. She was attractive before that, but not after. I had zero interest in her after that. I did nothing to deserve the way she treated me. And if she could do that without adequate provocation, then I would actively advise anyone I know to avoid her at all cost. She reacted like I was some kind of creep. But all I did was to ask an innocent question. I have never seen an overreaction as dramatic as hers. The good thing was that she showed me very quickly who she really was. I was happy to dodge THAT bullet.
It's funny how she said what you need to do in order to meet new people. What she doesn't understand is that her advice doesn't apply to men. Guys will approach her anytime, anyplace just because she exists. While for a guy, even if you start some hobby or whatever, you still need to put yourself out there and do all the work
She did talk about trying to get herself out there and join clubs to overcome social anxiety but that’s 1000% easier said than done and like you saying it’s all harder for men to find someone who is perceptive.
Especially for younger people, very few are on those meetup, eventbrite websites and are doing clubs after college. People have their friend group and plan stuff within their friend groups
I'm glad you covered this topic. There are certain women who are overly sensitive. Men have to deal with rejection a lot and it makes it harder with this behavior. Women can't complain if the "right guy" doesn't approach them if they call men out for just regular approaches