INTJ | Why I Don't Talk A Lot
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Here's the blog on the subject at hand:
www.ithinkifeel.com/home/2019...
When do you feel the spark to speak on a subject? Do you need a point or are you comfortable just filling space?
Referenced in this video: www.objectivepersonality.com/
Typing disclaimer: Hi my name is Lindsay, I'm an actual INTJ typed by actual professionals. I didn't choose this profile, it chose me.
#INTJ #ENTJ #16personalities
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A lot of INTJ have this weird thing going on where they're quiet... Until they're not. Then they just talktalktalktalk....
Lolol..... I mean 😬👽
If you engage us on a subject we like, we're not going to shut up.
You’re not wrong
Especially if it is a subject I like or know something about.
Don't get me started...
When the conversation is not interesting, i just phase out, retreat in my head, activate auto replay mode and endure until said situation is over
That’s how it goes!!
lol, "phase out" is the perfect way to describe it!
My endurance is poor though. I spend the time of uninteresting bits spinning my mental wheels on why this is the topic, or how it became the topic, or if the thing I had been interested in discussing can make a comeback.
If it's an uninteresting 1-on-1 conversation, I will often just rage spiral into wondering if I somehow invited this topic of discussion, and how I should plan to avoid the same thing happening in the future. Usually without success
Same
I drive my wife crazy.
She wants me to watch a movie with her,
Unless it is really good I am off in my head
Can't recall anything about the movie.
@@j.samuelwaters81
Lol, exactly
I’m a professor on a break, and when I teach, I ask my students to take this test, for fun. The INTJs tend to be my favorite students. They are no b.s. They are super smart. They pay attention. They only speak when they have something to say, so it is highly valued, and usually right on. And they are interesting, get along with everyone, set clear boundaries, and are also reliable, consistent, but not boring. They are internally driven, self motivated and extremely, genuine.
this is just a describtion of me 😅
Now I understand why all my teachers like me 🤣🤣🤣
That desc just sounds like Barnum effect tbh
INTJs can be like that. It just depends on their other personality typology and their scale of healthiness. As for myself, I happen to have a social anxiety disorder: which can affect how I function as an INTJ. I'd say to get a full spreadsheet of their data so you know how they react to things or to understand where their heads are at.
Please don’t stroke our ego more… or do , I’m not your father
I feel like if I couldn’t get something from a conversation, then I wouldn’t bother.
Which is all the time
it's best to just ask questions and let the other person talk.
Most of the time, my mouth shut and just talk necessary thing, but if i have a topic that i know with person i like, i could talk 3, 4 hours nonstop. 😙
Yessss same 💯
Same, man.
Yep. Could be talkative when get the interesting subject and topic for discussion 😈
I feel that
INTJ = Owl Personality. I am also very quiet until i really WANT to get something across or think i found somebody who is worthy of talking to about everything i have read, heard or listen to about.
Yes!!! Hoot hoot
Audibly lol'd at worthy... Love it!
Never cared for the taste of mice....
The secret to small talk is getting them to talk about themselves and then all i need to do is smile, nod, "oh yah?", "right?" At the appropriate times
i agree but that gets draining especially if you have a good vibe. People then become addicted :(
@@Tbatbatba88 then they think you’re their best friend
Genius...LOL
💯❤️ Absolutely.
As an INTJ myself, I'm quiet, and rarely initiate small talks, really sucked (feeling awkward) at comforting people. I say exactly what I need to be said. Oh my goodness, you are spot on explaining intj!
Hey thank you, and welcome to the channel 👽
People in my class should watch this video to finally understand why I almost never talk, instead of assuming that I'm shy.
Force them to watch it lol
I never talk either, my body language and expression says a lot thou people never see me as shy I feel they get very intimidated by me for whatever reason but fuck ENFPs can't stop chasing me it's like there is something they love about INTJs lol
@@kevinchavarria6792 same
Yeah well they *should* be drinking more water and eating their vegetables, but we aren't holding our breath and plans for that solubrious contingency now are we? :p
As an INTJ, I rarely comment videos on UA-cam for the same reason (not seeing the point) and this is your second video that I comment. It's my way of saying YOU'RE AWESOME, your insights are very helpful.
P.S.: It seems that my Fe is not that bad haha
Hey, that’s cool of you. But in a very Ni/Te way lol! People like you are why I do this thing. Understanding is everything :)
It is rare that i comment on videos but i always comment on comments. Especially stupid ones.
SAMEEE
You are a facinating person to me. Always interesting to keep learning and exploring the differences between Ni and Ne.
Ah thanks so much Melanie!
These videos do wonders on my mental health. I think it's my first comment on youtube because I've never felt more identified and understood, and I wanted to let you know I really appreciate you taking the energy and effort to make them.
Sentiments like yours are honestly the only reason why I do this. So thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m glad you’re here :)
Each time people said "I talk alot", I told them that I DO NOT TALK at all, I REPLY. And then they realize who actually started the conversation.
LOL this vid is so true. this also extends to our lack of making phone calls even to close family members too. in my mind, if there's really no reason to call, there's no reason to make the call and talk (c'mon ppl!! text messages!!! they exist!!)
i'm in college and away from home rn and whenever my parents phoned me, i always internally ask myself "what's the reason?? do you have an errand/task you need me to carry out and relay it through the call?" and i used to actually asked that out loud often :D my parents took offense to that lol "we don't need a /reason/!! we just want to make sure you're doing fine!!"
but if i'm not doing fine and my problem(s) is/are so serious that i can't solve it alone, i would directly communicate with you right away. so really, logically speaking, there's really no need for the call, lol.
This is great, because my sister always gets mad at me for not being so open and just sharing everything about my day and what not. But this makes so much sense as to why I am the way I am. I don't share 1 because I don't care and there is nothing to even share, and 2 there is really no point for me to do so in the first place.
Glad you found it valuable :)
@Sunflower Shine I believe I found it on adult swims instagram.
I don’t like meaningless talk. I love deep meaningful things. I hate being too introvert but it’s me. We are highly intelligent people, that doesn’t mean others are stupid but we think in different way. A lot of going on quickly in our mind so sometimes we don’t know how to express them. But when we met interesting people or interesting topics we talk a lot
I love watching another INTJ talk because I feel like I'm standing outside of myself and watching another version of myself. It's so bizarre yet fascinating.
For your content, I couldn't have explained it any better. I feel no need to add to this since I believe the science was well-stated.
What I found MOST interesting was that your entire video was just one big example of your average INTJ. I could see and even FEEL that you felt akward about your introduction and conclusion segments. It's that filler small talk that is so hard for us to share, but it's unfortunately a necessity. That's not to say that it was bad at all, just that I spotted that discomfort from a mile away and when it came to the meat and potatoes of the subject, you went flying with the topic. Loved it all.
Awesome! I’m so glad that it made sense and resonated with you. Isn’t it so crazy to hear your own language through someone else? I never get over it when I’m listening to other INTJs!
I was thinking the exact same thing! Haha
I've given presentations at work, where a manager or a peer lead would have to interject to frame the topic for the audience because I would quickly move on to the details without providing sufficient context. Coincidentally, I would say that doing UA-cam videos (not under this user name) has been a tremendous help with being more considerate of the audience...still a big challenge, though.
I’m an INTJ. I always find like in meetings or conversations I think everything through in my head and either by the time I’m ready to talk the conversation has moved on or I add something helpful because I’ve thought it through and not blurted it out. That’s why I’m always right... and like if I’m not right I am right.
Yeah! And also using relational connections between concepts helps us speak to most situations by using our Ni to recognize similar patterns, even if we don’t have all the information. It’s an amazing function :)
L J you’re so right! I’m very proud to be an INTJ!
Sometimes I don't talk in meetings because I've already thought about how I can research a topic to come up with a solid solution vs blabbering on endlessly with supposition. This happened just yesterday. I hinted at how I could solve a problem, but I was being dismissed. So, I just kept quiet then went off and developed some formulas in Excel to solve the problem...my lead was surprised, but I wasn't - lol.
The problem when this happens is that others think you're being a non-participant. No, I just don't want to participate in BS. 😀
Even as an illustrator(artist), I love to research on astronomy, physics and universe stuff! Eventhough I was a science stream high school student, I didn't score well in science just like the INTJ stereotypes, I realised I'm just interested to understand the world around me and the abstract future stuff.
Typically when someone asks:
Them: “Why don’t you open up and talk more?”
Me: “... Well, what’s the point? If there’s a point, I’ll contribute. If there’s no point at all, I don’t bother and rather conserve energy. Why?”
I have the same filter. I get it and it's hard to make small talk with no point. It suffocates me and must walk away to watch paint dry because the air is doing its job
The air is doing its job 😂😂😂💯👌🏻
Lindsey, It is funny how the more you describe yourself, the more you describe me as well. :-) Last night my granddaughter asked us to join her at her school because a "reptile man" was going to be there with his collection of snakes, turtles and lizards. Like my wife, she just loves animals of all kinds. My wife and my son spent most of the time talking while I quietly watched and took it all in. My one contribution during the presentation was to note that this guy should be named Hagrid, because all the vipers and constrictors were simply poor misunderstood creatures. Cobras just wanted to be left alone and never hurt anyone. Those nasty mongooses attacked the poor cobras, and so on. :-)
I enjoyed the lecture part but then we ran into the waiting in line for a picture of my granddaughter holding the alligator. (Another sweet misunderstood creature of course.) This amounted to being trapped in a line, something I loathe at all times, and being locked into a small talk universe, which I quietly endured. My son actually tried to give me the keys to his van (to save on parking space, we had driven to his house and then rode in his van with him) because he knew how little I enjoy socializing generally. However, I turned him down because both my grandkids were there, and I wanted to share the time with them. (They bring out that side of me that normally appears to be completely missing with other people.) The gathering was in the school gym, and that led to some opportunity to show my granddaughter some karate moves when she got feisty and wanted to do some low level "fighting." I showed her some blocks and a leg sweep and my wife is chastising me for not being more civilized in a long line. She is the fun ESTP normally, but we seem to peak on where we are looking for fun at different times. She likes roller coasters and long steep water slides, I like challenges of skill and execution. My 3 year old grandson got in a few licks as well. It was the salvation for me in having to wait in the line. The very long waiting time moved by much quicker thanks to them.
I was looking at the basketball hoops, longing for a basketball. Anything to break the monotony of having to talk about nothing for an extended period of time. It did come to an end finally. :-) Of course no one wanted to know about quantum physics, ion implanters, the paths of charged particles moving through magnetic fields or even what an INTJ is. Here were all these reptiles and no one mentioned phylogeny, evolutionary connections or how the reptiles are related to mammals, etc. (Okay it was mostly first graders there so I guess I can forgive them.)
And they wonder why INTJs spend so much time alone. :-)
Thanks for another great video!
Nobody wanted to talk about quantum physics?!? Horror! I guess that’s why we need to find people like each other out there in the world to have those fun conversations with :)
As INTJs, we are the true experts in our fields of study. There’s no fluff. Ask us a question about our expertise at your own risk.
"Or just mention quantum physics, and we'll probably be on board." Accurate. xD
This was an eye-opener. As an ISFP, who sucks at talking and explaining, I always thought IJs and EJs can talk all the time. I remember you posted on Facebook that said not all blast is equal.
Yes not all Blast is equal!! And just because we can doesn’t mean we will :) or should for that matter hahah
No problem at all starting conversations or small talk, (even with strangers!), IF and ONLY when I deem it desirable or appropriate to do so, and only AFTER my intuitive observations have provided me with enough conversational 'fodder' to engage. I very quickly determine if the conversation merits continuing. I find it rather easy to engage individuals in this manner...not so much with groups of people.
Depending on who I talk to, I can vary. If it's an extrovert, I just let them talk while in my mind I want this conversation to be over already. If it's someone I find interesting I will ask constant questions but still letting them talk and getting to understand them more. Analyzing them
Think intjs are in general physics overall and not specific to quantum physics. Actually we like everything science related from biology to physics. I used to buy magazines on sciences and astronomy apart from reading all of the medical books of my colleagues eventhough I did accounting. We all are meant to be some sort of scientist.
as an INTJ who has always been noticed as quiet unless I'm talking about things I like or with people I like, I have tried many times to start small talk, but almost always the other person puts in way less effort, and I'm sitting here like, bitch I'm the one who is supposed to be socially incompetent, you cant out do me on my own game!!!
Lmao this is funny 😂
that's usually how it is. Most ppl are socially inept!
Someone: "So, how about this weather?"
Me: "According to the latest mesoscale analysis, I don't think that..."
Someone: Whoa! It's just idle chatter. I'm not asking for a dissertation!
...and that's how I discourage small talk.
you could've just said "I'm not interested", that's how i feel in society, like always
but when I'm all alone, i talk to myself a lot
This channel makes me feel so normal. In a sence, it's realy nice to realise things you've been doing all your life was just okay to do. Even if it feels so awkward and sometimes so unfamilliar to talk about Weather things. In the end We are able to learn how to do it, you know, how to act like a "normal" person. Good to know I'm not the only one like that and so. Thanks!
Happy you found my channel. You are normal here 👽🖤
The explanation is so accurate and I feel shivered.
Talk is cheap & silence is diamonds :)
Spot on Lindsay. Really great explanation :)
INTJ Tribe validation! Thanks Austin!
I’m an INTJ who loathes talking with no real point, except with certain empathetic, sincere, completely wide open, extroverted personality types because I’m genuinely fascinated and intrigued by seeing their gears turn, because it’s so the exact opposite of me. They usually do the majority of the talking but in the end I’m left feeling like it’s safe to disengage when I’m around them.
So I took the test on 16personalities and got INTJ. But my self knowledge is pretty bad so I could've easily made myself an N type or an I type etc.
I can relate to some things but other things not that much. I am a pretty reserved person who needs a lot of time on my own and spends most of his time in his head. I am very to the point and can be very robotic I've been told. I oftentimes ignore whatever's considered "social" and just don't care a lot of the time about what people think of me or my actions. I'm not much of a planner, which is why I find it weird I got Judging. Sometimes I even get these bursts of spontaneity and extroversion and I'm just the silliest goofball around. After which I need to be alone for a while. I can also be really bossy and I want to have control over everything in life.
I am really confused as to what personality I have. But I don't expect any of you to type me or anything. I don't even know why I am writing a full essay on some of my personality traits in the comments of some random video I've just watched lmao, when I could've also done something productive instead.
Maybe we shouldn't try to put everyone in one of sixteen categories. I'd argue there are 7 billion personalities. But I'm still intrigued by this whole MBTI thing because I am eager to find out who I am and because I want something to relate to. All my life I've felt misunderstood and I just want straight answers about this.
I'm going insane aren't I?
I suspect a solution to your problem might be to research MBTI defined cognitive funtions. It should improve your understaning both the important aspects of the subject and yourself.Try Reflecting and ("thinking on paper"), helps me personally to do the reflecting, judging, evaluating information and organizing my thoughts on any subject matter that I find important in an efficient manner. Also I think it's good to keep in mind that everyone's slightly different within any of the different types. Do it enough and you should eventually "just know" if you're a certain personality type.
It's ok dude, now that you know the different personality types, it'll be easier for u to understand yrself more during future events, and best of all, to understand the people around you
I like how you explain the Ni being a point making filter, it didn't occur to me that as an INFJ I think of it similarly. Just a lot of the time I can't make it to the point I am trying to make .. lol.
Hahah yes! There is one specific direction you are aiming for!
Loved this one. Feels like an extension of the class!
Hey! Glad to know you’re in class too! I actually wonder how many OP folks I have in here........ might need to do some Se research lol
@@InternetLiJo Yeah, I've been in since August. I'm sure there are a few others, and they'll probably let you know if you ask around 😉
I like quiet people 🙂 I feel like talking with your intuition is much more fun than actual talking. Ni & Ne is great 💕
This quality also makes a lot of us good public speakers. I've seen a lot of extroverted people who are terrible public speakers and actually fear it, but I love an opportunity to talk without risk of interruption about something I know well.
I usually just say I talk when I want to, and when I want to talk, I usually do it for a long time or in long bursts. I also never say I feel anxious or shy being around people or talking in larger groups, if I have to talk I can easily keep the conversation going but if I don't feel obligated to I won't.
That's a good way to look at it!
Great video! Great channel!
If you surround me with people that also don't need to talk in a work environment, prepare for 8 hours of silence because I won't say a word. The coolest part about it is I worked in sales for 10 years which forced me to talk a lot, so I really know my way around any and all conversations. However, it does not change the fact that I would rather just not talk, unless of course to your point it is something that falls in my realm of expertise or interest.
Once again.... Truly great video!
I think this causes a lot of problems in relationships, at least for me. Since I don't like sharing things that I feel will either prompt a fight or be helpful in any way, I keep quiet until it comes to a point where I suddenly burst into a monologue of how I'm feeling and the other person just never saw it coming. I try to fix this for the sake of my SO, but it's certainly hard to just say... something... when... it's ... pointless.....
I don't talk much at all as an INTJ... I usually zone out during conversations and a lot of external stimulus makes my brain short circuit.. lol
If you're reading this comment, then you caught me on a good day and I feel like sharing. Most often, I rather observe and don't see a need to say anything. Time and energy are the most important things to me, so I hate wasting them 🙃
Plus, there's no point in speaking when either A) they dont care and only want to say their thoughts. Or B) they won't understand (and then you run the risk of having to explain the thing and talk more).
I just had to let you know how much I appreciate yourideos. I feel sobunderstood for the first time in a long time.
So, thank you for creating and sharing these videos. I've been hooked all week😅 and yeah, I may be a little late to the party, seeing that these comments are a few years old... but I do things on my time anyway 😉
I can relate to this... hard. People usually think I'm mute or something, but when I'm mentoring noobs about electronics or python they are shocked how much I talk. I often get a sore throat on these days since I mostly communicate by typing on most days. If other peoples hobbies were my "thing", I would be quite popular, but sadly (for other people) that's not how I roll and I despise pretending to be interested in something I'm not or people doing that to me to be "nice". Be unauthentic around me and get tagged as "avoid if possible". I prefer authentic assholes to inauthentic "nice" guys/gals any day of the week.
Being a INTJ, I prefer being quiet most of the time, but i do speak when i need to. I like keeping my energy to achieve my goals.
INFP here. When I get going, I talk a lot. You mentioned the Ni being a first press filter and that really helped me understand because I don't have that filter and it bugs me sometimes. Of course, I filter later, learn and then implement but in new situations unfiltered trouble often arises. thanks for helping me understand why :)
That was a beautiful explenation, thank you
Glad it made sense 🖤
Omg the quantum physics thing is so true
I was in a work meeting a few months ago and I said, “I use the Psycho Killer rule-when I’ve got nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?” It turned out that most of the people in the meeting weren’t familiar with the Talking Heads.
I am an INTP but I could relate with most of what you said! The difference would be when talking about a certain topic, I will probably go all over the places, i.e. it won't be structured at all. Usually I would talk about stuffs that pop up in my head at that moment. So it could happen that I will start to talk about a topic like QM at the beginning to end up talking about if morality is subjective or objective x) Personally, when I talk with someone I am mainly looking for 3 things: 1. what can you teach me (it has to be interesting)? 2. what can I teach you? 3. what new ideas can we come up with?
Often, when I talk with my scientific/engineer colleagues there is a mix where we teach each other stuffs and where we both learn something from the conversation. I like these kind of talks when we talk about abstract concepts, problems, and ideas to solve them. I also like to debate with (rational) people I disagree with, as I would like to know if I am wrong or not, and if I am, update my beliefs accordingly. Anything like gossip or small talks (such as what a person dreamed last night, what stuffs they ate at lunch, etc) bore me to death.
Awesome!! Yes us “NT” types tend to have so many similarities on the nerdy spectrum. We can’t escape it.
I love how you mentioned what you look for when talking to someone hahah I’m similar
This video represents your BEST look!
Thanks Jo!
Thanks for providing some contrast regarding your Ni and your husband's Ne. It really made the Ni clearer. It also confirmed my understanding of Ne.
Absolutely!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who just walks away if the conversation doesn’t intrigue me.
Same . You are awesome. Thanks 👍
LiJo, very poignant video. As an INFJ deep diving, came across your INTJ videos. Thought it was fascinating how I was listening to yours eyes as much if not more than your words, and made this conversation something I deeply enjoyed. I love the balance of meticulus and passion you have, and how the battle between them on everything you do seems apparent. Makes you a great storyteller.
The point you made about small talk, and having entrenched positions you can talk for hours about, but physically leaving other conversations is something that I also have issues with, and i think hinders me from talking to people I honestly want to get to know better. Not to mention I feel like a creep sitting down to someone with nothing to say, and PRAYING they have interests I value. I'm even doing this with family members, and I know it's not ok.
All that being said, is it as simple as get more patience with yourself and others to improve at this deficiency? Is it a confidence issue? Overthinking? Questions like these often overshadow the actual conversations, and I end up not even listening to the small talk I instigate, rather I go deeper into introspection on these topics which creates this death spiral that creates fear of me actually talking to anyone. Which honestly fixes nothing. What are some tricks you learned to mitigate the self judgement and focus on what the individual is saying? Keep up the great videos.
I recently realized that I shifted to INTJ. I used to be an INFJ before but now that I grew a lot from my past experiences, I use more of the Te than the Fe. I like scheduling and planning most of the time. I love it when I can decipher and see future possibilities. It pumps up a lot of fuel in me! Doing things spontaneously can tick me off a little, specially when I find that it's not worth my time. Time is so precious to spend carelessly. When my work mates gets pushy and insist for me to join THEIR spontaneous fun activity, I usually decline and get called "kill-joy". Like, if I don't want it, I can say NO immediately. But there are a few times that I can get by and be nice to observe them while they do THEIR thing, as long as they're not interrupting me at the time where I do my own "fun" things. It's a give and take process. After all, we're all part of the same organization.
You are deceptively addicting. To an I NFJ, your channel thingy, that is.
Last night I debated an INFJ on the Topic of conspiracy theories for 3 hours and I say it was a pretty Interesting Debate :)
Small talk? I'm not bad at it; usually comes in the form of advice.
Hahahah said the person with Te!
ENFP's are so good at running interference for us, it would make me stand in awe, if I wasn't busy retreating to my sanctum to recharge/get back to which ever pieces of The Great Work I was in the midst of crafting before interruption efforts succeeded.
I am very much like this and Foundational issues in Relativity and Quantum Physics can really get me going as you said xD But that's not a likely conversation and I often just stay quiet in most settings.
I could steer small to something more yet I can just not waste and talk to myself about things that interest me. To talk or not to talk? Used to ask myself this a lot. One day I answered myself and haven’t looked on it since. I’m going up stream to see where this water comes from. Can’t deal with people just going down stream with the flow anymore. Plus they all seem to really be displeased with the boat they have and won’t upgrade.
Gotta create your own current 😉💯
This changed my definition of “a lot”.
I’m an INTJ who MUST do small talk to be successful at my work. While I don’t enjoy it, I see the point in it and do the best I can to stay engaged. Though my mind does wander, I can usually stay engaged to accomplish my goal. Thankfully, my job also allows me quiet time to think and write. That part of the work is so special to me that I’ll pay the price of small talk to continue my work.
i love your videos , the quality is on par with some channels which im sure have 100 man teams
the explanation was perfect
i was shocked when someone told me i just phase out/ look the other way / just go silent apparently in the middle of conversations As soon as they "bored"me
But i get tired , i some times feel people want to enjoy the effort we put yet have no intention of talking to us on our level
please do a quantum mechanics video!!
Maybe I will do an applicational quantum theory video... that would be too much fun 😬🤗 and I think I probably have enough NT’s here to quantify doing it.
Yesss. I do the phase out... eye glaze... I’m sorry I was trying to pay attention but my brain started moving to the next thing I need to do or think about. Ahh. The struggle.
@@InternetLiJo yeeesss it would be just epic ,
that would be the total package
i cant wait
Most NTs esp INTJs have touched almost all fields of science, i think theyl be fine
abt phasing out, its a real fight, most time i didnt realise i had done so
I can small talk briefly if it's something I can relate to with people I know.
If it's no one I know. I'm a space cadet.
Something I notice about myself during small talks: I say "Mmmm", then look away and exhale. Or a reverse of that pattern. All the same
I’m so bad at small talk. I had my high school open house recently and it was one of the most draining experiences of my life. At the end of the night I was curled up in a blanket on my couch in my basement hiding from the remaining relatives with my friends. Still not sure how my mom convinced me it was a good idea.
It drives me NUTS that the first thing a group of extroverts engaged in a shallow conversation think about my lack of contribution to the conversation is "He's shy or unfriendly" instead of considering the possibly that their conversation is shallow and boring.
that's the worse
Entps love when it's clear and concise , they are your perfect match btw ...
I have a few ENTP friends!
@@InternetLiJo And you like them ?
A fellow employee pointed out that I don't talk to my other coworkers but I'm not paid to talk? I work a packaging job there's no need to talk also I'm a quiet natured person my boss feels the need to say I'm soft spoken. I don't understand why they feel the need to express their opinions about me. I do my job which is what we're all there for. 🤦🏻♀️
get out of that job, it's not for you.
I get it. I'm terrible at small talk. I have to find a way to make the subject turn towards a topic I know a lot about. Otherwise, I'm a spectator in the conversation. People I'm just starting to get to know sometimes ask why I'm so quiet and if everything is ok. I reply that to me, things aren't quiet at all. There's plenty going on in my mind. I can have entire conversations with myself. I'm never bored.
Me silently solving every problem I can conceptualize
That's why people perceive us to be serious people because we just go for the the point. All the freaking time. Hahaha
Hahah sooo true. Damn lol
Your comment just lead me to an insight of why I was describes as "Always Serious" a long time ago. It was sort of, kind of occasionaly and for the longest time nagging me somewhere in my brain. Thank you for giving me the insight to resolve it.
So much great info here, And the Ne shout out, very interesting. What's your opinion on quantum physics?
Thanks Jonathan! Yeah I find Ne isn’t as selective with conversation once something sparks its interest.
Also my opinion on quantum physics... so I wouldn’t use the word opinion, I just think it’s fascinating how it explains so much about energy and that knowledge can be applied to so many things!
L J particle entanglement is the most fascinating thing to me. I think it is the key to all knowledge. It opens the possibility of teleporting ourselves or objects instantaneously, I even think it could explain how we obtain knowledge from God, the Universe, the outside of the matrix, or however you think or believe about things.
The longer someone talks, makes my answers short, thus time goes by. I switch channels in my head and think about something else.
While I agree with a lot of what you say, I actually enjoy talking and can remember as a kid having fun talking about the stupidest of things. Almost as if I was just saying whatever came into my head. Well, I think people got annoyed as I grew up and I just learned to see that others only want to hear themselves talk, not me. So basically, Ive just learned by habit that if my talk isn’t worth someone’s time, then neither is theirs. It’s important to recognize if someone is just making small talk for no reason, or they actually want to to get to know you and just don’t know where to start.
I love that other INTJ's exist in the world. Also, I find that saving our energy tends to be a big thing.
i remember that time on 1st year college when my girl classmate asked me why i don't talk a lot to them girls and i nonchalantly answered "what are we going to talk if we were to?" and she went speechless. i think she took it personally although i didn't mean to.
ENFPs don't really like small talk either if it's about mundane practical matters like "oh what did you have for lunch", or "did you take the number 12 bus to get here". .. We need to engage with people's ideas which is why I think we click with INTJs so fluently.
Loved the video! I like the "captain of the ship" explanation and how your Ni is filtering the conversation.
So with an ISTP, for example, would they filter conversations through their Ti? Or their lead observation function (Se)?
It would still need to be an observing function I would say, and that would be Se for them! That means they are going to be looking to gather more information from the other person (Se) to spark or resonate with their own understanding (Ti).
@@InternetLiJo Makes perfect sense! Thanks
I am INTJ, and conversations are not easy. If I talk, it's to tell something, uselfull, benevolent, helpful or positive, or to help people, or when I try to share something deep about how I feel.
Most of time small talk make me unconfortable, shame, waste my time, waste my energy, bring me negative though, make me feel useless.
Bring me something positive, usefull, new knowledge please, or at least make me laught.
"It's cold, it's sunny, it's rain, radiator, clothes, eat, hair, makeup, dating app, go in bar, party, meet people" I don't care, I love thunderstorm, there is more importants things, like my mental health, and my loneliness.
I prefer talking about my anxiety and feelings than no meaningfull topic.
Today, when I said to a coworker, we should use sunscren everyday, like koreans do, she didn't continue the conversation. And I am feel weird.
2 others coworkers got a funny conversation about elephants, they imaginate what would it be like if we had an elephant at home, thanks to them.
I feel so lonely, when I try to talk about personality/MBTI or share something deep, most of time, they don't understand, think I am talk about something spiritual.
It's difficult to share something really usefull and deep with people.
Most of people are so stick with their little life, home, family, country, with theses earth and concretes things.
Me, would like to talk about so many differents things, space, theories, MBTI, others country like Korea.
"You don't talk much" (me thinking : What the ... ? It's my normal state, it's me, be worry the day I will talk so much, that's means this day I will be very angry)
I have a friend who is like this. He is INTJ. I wonder what happens if INTJ run into problems, major changes or situations in life, e.g. become handicapped, or has no money left. Would they feel insecure?
@@honantong Totally I would feel insecure, I am easily anxious, stressed, depressed, overwhelmed by too much informations. When problems are not solved and when a major change in life happen, it play a lot on my mental health and also physical health. I am very sensitive to changements. Be very kind with INTJ, we are really different, and have another way of being in the world.
I can answer this one, we're not interested in a conversation without purpose, make a point or piss off. Usually won't say it outright, out of courtesy, but we're *ALWAYS* thinking it.
so I just had this idea from your video so if I do talk to people coz there is no point of it
but what if I give myself a reason or a point that make ni te fi se all work together and make it better or make myself better at it :)
I would never interrupt someone, people say I'm a very good listener (not true, sometimes I phase out but they don't know). In reality, in my job, I sometimes interrupt people: it is not a very good environment, too competitive and corrupt. Everybody wants to shine instead of the other, and I'm forced to talk over the other; but I keep it only when I feel that someone is saying something useless or incorrect and I have a good point to make.
Ni is pretty careful too. Trying to minimize the negative outcome of actions or words in the future. At least with INTJs. INFJ are more positive believing in good outcomes.
Yess exactly!!
Yes and NO, We believe in murphy so We tend to become super good at organizing stuff which is weird since it’s not really what We start out with also We have this thing that we’ll always attempt the impossible ...the normal stuff scares us since We are perfectionists ;)
If it's a large gathering or party I am often too busy making observations about the people or the place. So much information coming in at once can be overwhelming. Plus it's impossible to converse in a large group without talking over someone else which I am always keenly aware of.
Not only do I not interrupt but after they stop talking, I will often pause a little creating some dead air just to make sure they don't have anything to add, then I'll talk. Actually, just before I talk I'll make it obvious I'm about to start like by opening my mouth and taking a breath, just incase they want to blurt out some more words before I get going. I don't know if I'm showing off with what equanimity I suffer others to speak. -- that sounds pretty arrogant, I guess. Really, I think I do this because I know that many people just love the sound of their own voice and I make room for that.
I even watch videos in 2X Speed to come faster to the point
I'm almost always quiet, especially around people I don't consider to be my friends. It's a mixture of spacing out and responding to things only in my head, and social anxiety of course..
As an INFJ, I also feel like I'm dying inside when Fe (think ESFJ) small talks happen. IDK why, because I have Fe second but I enjoy Ni and Ti talks A WHOLE LOT more.
I don't even waste time defending myself if someone on the Dark Triad spectrum (narc, sociopaths and psychopaths) insults me since I know there is no point. I refuse to expend my energy on these types and even try to turn my attention away from them. Its a game of attention, they take you away from your goals so instead of trying to deal or handle them I put my attention back on my goal and focus on that. I give the shortest possible answer most of the time. But if I find somebody I can really share my mind with then I can have a conversation for hours and hours. My sister would come home and talk about her whole day and I just never understood why people would waste time stating the obvious. I would honestly feel like an idiot if I came home and gave a play by play of my day..Its like saying look, the sky is blue when everyone can clearly see that the sky is blue.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!
Was looking something up in the dictionary online and this subject came up.
I followed through what I now consider to be a looking glass and found you.
I can identify with the things you say but have absolutely no information about INTJ as a functioning system category.
I haven't looked so I am unaware if there's some sort of test you take to find out what category you fill? 🙆
I suppose I can look into your sites subject matter to find my answers. But if you can point me in the right direction will save me a lot of time. Is there a test to figure out which of the categories that I fall into? I do feel like I belong here.
I understand you.
Yet perhaps I'm just teetering on the cusp.
While waiting for an answer I will check this site out. Thank you in advance for any help you might give me.
Fascinating.
And I always thought I was like insecure why I wasn't able or even wanting to be talkative like the rest. But I never felt..insecure. been learning alot about myself once I've learned I was intj
LOL @ Quantum Physics....works every time :)
Very true.