I know Im randomly asking but does someone know of a tool to log back into an Instagram account?? I was dumb forgot the password. I would appreciate any help you can offer me
I was having this conversation with an INFJ last night . You have to drag yourself into the present and absorb the present . Literally drag yourself out of your head 😆. This one really spoke to me . It’s like a drug . A powerful engine chugging away processing . Not processing is so difficult .
I am kinda addicted to thinking about things that I want to improve or mentally learning about something and seeking for insights in my head. Even while I am taking a bath, having breakfast, brushing my teeth, driving, etc. My mind just keep thinking about anything else. My vision is more interesting than the present moment, I might ended up procrastinate the "boring" tasks. - INTJ
Brooooo, I'm amazed at how you explained what it can be like inside an INTJ's mind! I literally get exhausted thinking & juggling social settings! I love my solitude afterward!!!
At the start I was thinking, "If I got outside of my head, I would have no place to go." :-) As a kid my folks didn't use the punishment of going to my room where I would have to be alone. Where's the punishment in that? Forcing outside to socialize would be harder for me to take. To this day, when things become too stressful I end up in my office where I get into my head even more. When you were describing your planning out events I can really relate to that. When I was teaching that is exactly how I prepared for a lecture. I found that it wasn't being in front of people that would bother me. It would be floundering up there unprepared that would be terrifying. I controlled the agenda for the class, and the topics to be discussed. A bit of small talk (often all planned out in advance) to worm up the room and then into the material I had gone over step by step, forwards and backwards, very few surprises. For me it wasn't just a "pro," but it was a necessity for that particular job. "I do not like surprises." Oh yeah, I can relate to that! The "con" of course is that it severely restricts the number of things you can do. It takes time to plan, and if you are planning one thing, you aren't doing another. When I am planning the occurrences of events in a day, when I already know all the steps I have to take and it is a question of planning when they will be taken, it drives me completely nuts when my ESTP wife tosses in hurdles that I wasn't expecting at some critical point in my planning. I know I can work on this until time X, then I have to begin preparation for the next step, which has to be finished by time Y, so I can get to another item at time Z. Usually the hurdles have something to do with "people plans" that she has created. But she has no idea how finely I have my routine planned out to be on time with no issues. Suddenly I am frustrated and she can't figure out why. And there is no way to explain the judging approach to a perceiver so that she will understand it. :-) You raise a good point that brains are like computers, and the INTJ is like overclocking a CPU. You do get exhausted because you are pouring physical energy into your brain. All the top chess players agree that you have to be in incredibly good physical shape when you are playing a major match or tournament because sitting there for 6 hours while in complete deep concentration will leave you drained to the dregs and right when you might need your maximum effort, in the end game where one wrong me can take you from a hard fought victory to a loss, you have to have something still left in the reservoir to give. Sleep, and exercise are critical. The various players all have some physical sport that they play, or other method of keeping their bodies in shape: soccer, basketball, swimming, jogging, or something. As I get older it takes more work to do the same amount of stuff. Yesterday I woke up around 4am and worked on a new video for 12 straight hours. My wife went out with our grandkids to take some Easter pictures and when the doorbell rang I was wondering who was there, but it was my wife, and she was already done. The time was just gone as i was working inside my head. I was shocked that it was that late already. And last evening I was wiped out and ready for our date sitting with my wife on the couch and watching a movie made in 1949 about an INTJ trying to figure out relationships. :-) I remember when I was working with computer machine language decades ago, and studding the pins on CPU chips there were levels of interrupts that could come in, but the top dog was a Non-Maskable Interrupt, which put everything else on hold. The registers were all dumped onto the stock and a particular routine was run to handle the interrupt. That is exactly how I feel when something comes in to disrupt my mental flow. I have to dump my data onto "the stack" and deal with the interruption. Sometimes, I don't do it gracefully, and my wife points this out when it happens. "There is never a good time to interrupt you, because your mind is always working on something." Somehow, she has managed to put up with me all these years, and soon we will celebrate our 43rd anniversary. I am a lucky guy. Driving on autopilot is how I dealt with nearly 2.5 hours of commuting every day to and from work. I listened to audio books, worked on essays or articles I was going to write inside my head, and all at once I was back home. A big problem that has happened a number of times is I am on autopilot, driving to one place that I drove routinely, when I was supposed to be going somewhere else, and I missed my turn. "Where are you going?" asks my wife. Oops. When I get up to get some water or coffee, I may not even remember that I had filled my glass or my cup, or done other things, but my water is there on my desk, etc, so I must have done it. I am deep in thought on what I am working on and if my wife sees me from where she is, she will look at my serious face and ask, "What's wrong? Or are you thinking about something?" And suddenly I am pulled out into the outside world for a moment to see what is going on around me. She is one of a very few people who can do that, and make me smile (at least some of the time). I am glad you didn't make a "finger smoothie" that time with the blender. :-) MY wife is a lucid dreamer. She can be deep inside a dream, wake up to use the restroom, and then go back to bed and jump back inside her dream as if there were no interruption. I can't imagine doing that. I seldom even remember my dreams. However, I can still relate because that is very similar to how I am when I am working on something mentally and I am interrupted. I resist being "awakened" and I do my best to get back to the "dream" as quickly as possible. I Love it, "I have to start planning my planning." How INTJ is that??? :-) Something that I feel (scary word) about my mental time is it can be like a visit to Disneyland. I went there in the 1950s when it was brand new. I went there for my honeymoon, and since lived so close to it, I lost track of how many times I have been there (but the last time was in 1980 and I probably wouldn't recognize it any longer). But the thing is, you don't always care about results per se when you are in the theme park. Just being there is fun. It isn't just this ride that is fun, but nearly any ride would be fun. I approach my head time like that, if I don't have a major task in the works. I will find something mentioned in an article I read, or a video I watched and it sounds interesting. So, I dive into it, and it is very interesting so I dive deep into it. But that leads to other topics that are amazing. So, when I stop and deal with "real life" I am giving up something I treasure highly. It has to be a really good something for me to feel good about leaving my "theme park" in order to enjoy it. When it comes to my wife or my grandkids it is just that, something really good, but woe to an idiot knocking on my door trying to sell me something or hand out a religious tract and forcing me to break out of what I am doing. :-) I am at a loss as to how I would not think about anything. That is like not breathing, or planning for oxygen-free time. If I am not thinking about a major project, I am thinking about some philosophical or scientific idea. There is an infinite supply of things to think about and trying to "not think" about them is like trying to avoid all the nitrogen and oxygen molecules in the room by moving quickly. :-) Planning to open up thinking time for fun ideas rather than work related ideas, I am good with. My best way to do that is to read fiction. It pulls me out of my normal routine and forces me into a new direction, sort of using different mental "muscles." But even there I tend to read my own books often and I am critiquing them, proofreading them as I go along, and it is only a major project hiding inside relaxed clothing. "A small [hesitation implying minuscule, tiny, almost undetectable, best is not detectable at all] sliver of perfection." I love it! We have to settle for what is "good enough" by our own personal standards. However, an INTJ's idea of good enough is another person's idea of perfection. I remember early on when I first met my wife, I would perform for a group at her church or a family gathering, and what I noticed with each song was some bit of it that wasn't perfect. My wife thought that all the songs were perfect. Her twin sister asked me to play one song 3 or 4 times in a row. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn way back when I first started performing for others, was if something wasn't perfect, you keep going. Cover up the mistake by dazzling them with brilliance the rest of the way if you can. They hopefully will remember what came after, rather than the part that grated against your own nerves. It was like you read my mind when you said "Life is over really quickly..." and when you get to be my age you realize that the Grim Reaper has you on the horizon at least. I have known dozens of people who died younger than I am right now. I worry about living long enough to watch my grandkids grow up and being able to help them on their way. I worry about having time with my wife that I would hate to miss out on. Beyond that, I have things to write, to think about, and to learn, and there is far too little time left to me for all of that. So, I have to get cracking. I can't complain, however. My life has had its share of misery of course but overall I have been one lucky guy, and if I died tomorrow I have lived a wonderful life. (George Bailey eat your heart out. 🙂) Thanks again for another wonderful video, Lindsey!
"However, an INTJ's idea of good enough is another person's idea of perfection." you know what, you give some of the best comments I've ever read on UA-cam.
I often say to my partner, who thinks INTJs are wonderful, the worst part is being in my head. I think so much about everything my head hurts and need to jump out for some peace, but actually doing it is hard and part of me doesn't want to, despite needing to. Well done on providing help for head-sore INTJs who don't know how to (nor want to) leave their own heads.
"Having a brain that works this way is wonderfully amazing and I am grateful for it but it is also sometimes completely overwhelming and it is also many times so rationally irrational." This.
1. Driving to work w/o realizing how I got there: check 2. Planning ALWAYS: check 3. Doing really dumb stuff (like sticking my shoes in the frig) while being in a thought castle - check 4. Telling my friends I can’t hang because I’m “Life designing” aka Planning lol - check I have a seven day calendar now and it helps, I only plan out 3 days ahead instead of 3 months ahead now. Butttt... I don’t really care if I miss out on hanging with friends. I’m also aware of how bad that sounds. #INTJ #NiProblems
That's why I generally need a cooldown chill after I do an event. I do sound, light, screens, presentations for a local youth group and church. Everything needs to look good and function well. And don't dare try to get my attention while I'm preparing everything so that when I press Play, everything works.
I find it fascinating how similar the struggles are between INTJs and INFJs. It's like doing the same dance to 2 different songs. I struggle quite a bit being in the moment. I've always joked about being on autopilot. I am constantly thinking things through long before it's needed and agonizing over the what ifs. I always need to have several contingency plans just in case. It does get draining when several things are going on at once, to the point I shutdown for some time. One thing I've noticed over the years is that I am more terrified of not having a plan or being ill prepared than the event itself. Once something is in motion I can for the most part deal with the situation, but its exhausting because I'm forced to be in the moment. It will definitely not be my best work and that bothers me. I don't like surprises either. I don't know how to react. My wife still tries to surprise me all the time. I know she enjoys it which matters to me more than anything, so I play along. I'm not sure if you _(or any other INTJs)_ experience this in the same way but it sounded somewhat similar. I'm fairly detached from my emotions. It's like they're on a delay. I do feel them, just not when I should. Whenever someone asks me how I feel I honestly tell them I don't know, or it hasn't sunk in yet. I'm starting to think it's an Ni/Se problem.
This is so me. If I'm not doing something toward one of my many goals, I feel useless. I am noticing all the things I'm missing in the present moment and that pains me. I hardly make time to spend time with loved ones and that's painful too because I know one day, I won't have that opportunity to do so. My new goal is to be more present... Ni can be amazing but it can cost you. - INFJ
I feel so understood right now 😍. My trick is to not do everything myself. I can achieve anything I set my mind to, be superwoman. Very very hard stuff but it’s not worth it. I am only human and I have a lifetime to achieve “perfection”.
All of the solutions you mentioned are the things that I ended up doing at some point to help me mentally. Even when I was a kid I was told that I couldn't/ needed to stay in the present moment. It does feel very weird to have nothing to do, or to sacrifice the perfection that I wanted to achieve, but I'd rather not mentally strain myself too much.
Omg this is me, male intj who is I. Leadership positions because I got tired of the incompetence. My main gripe is nobody thinks it through so, I'll do it. I've gotta start saying no. It's affecting my personal relationships. I'm starting to get asked to take more things over.
Shes so right for this when she's explaining her plan for the week I can imagine myself doing the same and then i would be thinking like that as I prepare for the day which also leads to my Se not Se-ing right and boom I used toothpaste instead of facial cleanser for my face.
I'm brand new to identifying and studying the personality types. (Like, started today.) But you describe how I was in my twenties. You are so right, we love the "planning" like its a place we can go. Internal modeling, planning and visualizing outcomes, redesign and repeat, it can overheat the brain! A few things helped me. Now, I'm 41, and I know how my brain works. I know how long I need to obsess on something to get it done. So I limit it to that amount of time. Second...I learned to put the obsessive stuff on autopilot. I flipped it so I can be "here" and obsess in the background. I call it the "back burner." It takes a lot out of me, but can do it when I have to. Three...stoicism. I learned about stoicism and its really helped me smooth over the extreme INTJ traits. And finally...adult beverages and carefully chosen movies at night. Little vacations. Its like stepping out of your brain for a bit, and the alcohol helps blur all the lines so you get entranced by the movie. I have happy movies, angry, adventure, depressed, enthusiastic etc. I can sometimes force a different mood. Weird, right. Cheers!
I'm so addictive to planning and having multiple goals and deadlines that I've never said no to a client. It starts causing me insomnia and sometimes I feel like an Alzheimer patient as my mind never stays in the present, to the point that now, I need to spend my precious time on UA-cam to find some advices =)). I'm glad to find your video and know that I'm not alone and I could do things to improve this.
The emotional exhaustion, for me at least, comes from my tertiary Fi. Along the way, when I'm doing the planning, I, once in a while, would look at my plans from above and see if it passes my Te criteria. During the evaluation, my Fi would sometimes step in and ask "Would anybody find my plan helpful or significant?", "Would they find me helpful", etc. And then, before I know it, I fall into an Ni-Fi loop, and start second guessing everything. This emotional hiccup would then lead me to read more, plan more, organize more... And when everything's done and I don't receive any validation, the emotional exhaustion would become unbearable that I would need to take a day or two (or three) of alone-time to recuperate. And of course, being an INTJ, during the recuperation period, I break down everything that's happened and plan again, considering all possible ways on how to make it better the next time. Also, the physical exhaustion does not come from my mind brewing up a plan, but from the Se stimuli that bombards me while I am brewing up the plan. It is energy-draining, and sometimes almost physically painful, to stop myself from my Ni-Te leisurely activity to deal with the infuriating Se chores (and sometimes with the inevitable Fe responsibilities).
I just found your channel and binged half your videos ^^ it feels so good to finally relate to someone. Thank you for your content, it's really helpful!
When someone would say that, “ Then all he does is stare into space,” I never knew what that person was talking about but thanks to your video I do now. As far as your driving is concerned, your brain is processing what it needs to process but it will only register important information. Since nothing of anything significant happened your brain didn’t register it to memory. Living off the grid as I did so far from my nearest neighbour I always pre- worried about my trips to and from home as I always had to walk but all of the worrying wasn’t necessary because the walking had become habit. Unfortunately so had the worrying. I guess we INTJs may have to learn how to change our habits towards worrying lol. Thanks for another great presentation
L J it was for 25 plus years. It was just some recent heart failure that has temporarily brought me back to town. I had never used a cell phone before January 2019 so I had to learn how to do that. There was no cell service where I was. I would be glad to share my experience. I wrote a book that has to be revised because I did it 12 years ago. I never actually finished the bibliography so I couldn’t publish but I am considering putting the portions that were not taken from other sources on UA-cam. Nice talking. Let me know if there’s anything else you want me to share and keep up with your good job. Take care
what helped me alot is really gettin into meditation and training myself everyday to enjoy the present moment. Ive did this for years but the last 2 months i really got into this as in meditating for like 1 hour a day and doing breath excercises. Breath exercises helped me alot. Being conscious of them.
Being present has been a problem for me as an intj for years!.. especially if you're in a crisis in your life at the time, like I was, it becomes all about solving the problem and everything else is thrown off the wagon including friends and family and time flies by without any enjoyment and even worse, you may have isolated yourself for such a long time and still not solved your problems!!..not easy being an intj sometimes 😒
Exactly!!! I feel most people think this is a “non problem” but it really is to us. You blink and realize you’ve missed some really important stuff in life.
2:50 - 3:40 That right there is precisely how I strategize, I have personally struggled with articulating that, thank you for providing the visual chessboard in the video as well.
It's more like the Ni-Te thing rather than a dominant Ni only. Ni is so much more than this. The inside of the head of an INFJ would look quite different. Although the looking and planning ahead is similar, the way the plan forms and evolves is quite different.
I do too like figuring out things, it makes me feel like I did accomplish something, I think the figuring out is one of my main strengths, but yeah I do miss out on a lot of things on way? You are 100% right there you use that your phrase (stop and smell the roses) is accurate 💜🌠🍀✌
really interesting video. my issue is unfortunately as well as being intj, I have existential anxiety and depression (self diagnosed but it's the closest way to describe my feeling), so I spend my life setting these goals and achieving them but at times coming to panic because I can't figure out the REASON I'm doing it for, or what I'm getting out of it. if anyone relates or can offer advice I'd be thankful, I'm looking more into mindfulness as I feel it's the brain process that makes me miserable at times over anything else, and mindfulness pulls you away from that into the present moment
5:02 I've found surprising results with a thing to help quiet the mind. All you do is direct your attention toward thinking. Focus on thinking about what you're going to think of next. Once you try it, you'll understand.
Just yesterday, I had a meeting with my therapist solely to seek help on how to get out of my head. I am a poet and writer and I tend to spend hours just navigating my dreams and thoughts. Even though it is enjoyable and creative, I hate it later because I have lost so much time. INTJ.
Thank you for this video. Feel better to know that I'm not weird 😆... I am aware that my grasp of reality is usually incomplete and tattered at best, I've been missing critical details quite often like 50% of the time. I often (discretely) rely on my close friends, family members, and colleagues, who are more explorative by nature (Se) to help feed me with the reality.
idk if people have noticed that on youtube channels content creators who could be intjs/intps would directly go straight to the point of topics, no mess about personal stuff.
I struggle with this every evening and for me some little miracles came into my life in the form of ferrets and they make my evenings feel less like detox and more like a goal to get to.
I can totally relate to this. There are a million things going on in my head So the way you explained that is so simplified. So the chess game times 1000. Then to put feelings into it there just isn't time for it. When I get home from work I have to sit down and stop for about an hour. All the outside stimulus has completely exhausted my ability to focus on anything. So at that moment I need silence. If anything emotional gets involved I have to sleep. even if it is only for 10 minutes. I need to completely reboot. Some people seem to think this is ADD. But that is so not what it is. Its exhaustion from hyper focus. Perfect example I am typing this and thinking about all the things I have to do at the same time. I am at work so I had someone come up and interrupt me. I got him the answers he was looking for and continued to type this and listen to him and this at the same time while planning what I am doing as soon as this and my work task is done. Then I realized something else that I was thinking about this morning and also did that too. When it all slows down I get bored and have to get up and do something else. But all the time I am thinking about every detail of everything. I have to write it down so I have note pads everywhere to remind me of the million things going on. Wizards drive me home by the way.
Your description of an Ni-dominant mental processes and default "flow state" is dead on. It is living in an organizing/pattern-recognition overdrive, where you set yourself into a structured solution (pattern) and live it. Engaging in a large task, with many parallel sub-tasks, moving forward, resolving issues, seeing risks and limiting them, optimizing, tracking progress against time and budget, keeping information flowing to the people who need it, to keep them moving forward with their part of your overall plan -- in other works the average day of a fully engaged INTJ -- it all takes alot of energy. You absolutely have to allow yourself to break out of this, unplug, relax, allow for the unexpected and tend to those offset parts of your life (time, people, things) to find balance. Automatic driving. Ha. Yep. Actually rather scary when you realize you don't remember the last hour that you were controlling a ton and a half of metal, going 60 miles an hour.
This is literally my life /facepalm, thanks for taking the time to come up with great solutions to overcome this. I will definitely write these tips down and implement them into my week thanks :)
Haha the struggle is real isn’t it? Let me know how they go, I’m interested! Honestly this was one of the biggest struggles in my life to get past, few people actually understand that 😬. It’s also not a “cool” topic to talk about.... but damn... it’s everything.
@@InternetLiJo for me the issue is letting those thoughts start to become more and more negative or corrupting to the point where you start to believe them. Distracting myself with friends and fun projects helps a lot but any additional ideas is always appreciated.
Hey LiJo I enjoy watching your videos to help me comprehend why I think the way I do, as I am INTJ-T myself. I am also in the Doctor of Chiropractic program at Life University, so when I heard you say your legs asleep I thought about how you must be sitting most of the time you planning, filming, and editing videos. I don't wanna see you in pain or uncomfortable while producing your amazing content so please see a chiropractor. If you would want to talk about it or ask any questions I will give you my email at request, for questions pertaining to why chiropractic is necessary and why it can have exponential benefits for your health when you are under lifetime chiropractic care. Besides that, I would love to pick your brain sometime. Thank you for your time if you get around to reading this.
Good stuff. It sounded familiar when you said your weak Se can be borderline dangerous at times. My weak Se has got me into some tricky situations, too. Se trickster has made me absentmindedly run red lights (almost, I caught myself). I know this sounds bad lol. I even have reasonably good hand-eye coordination, but it doesn't seem to help the lack of awareness.
Yes totally! When I’m trying to focus on Se I can do an Se quite well. But it requires all of my attention and focus. But if I’m in Ni land which is most of the time my lack of awareness is embarrassing. Like the amount of stories I have.... may have to be a video at some point lol.
@@InternetLiJo Lol that would be a good video, I'd watch that. Yeah, kind of like you said, it's almost like straining to use a function (might not be the right word, but you know what I mean).
"I'm doing things in my head - don't bother me with reality." Unfortunately, this bites this INTJ in the butt when it comes to spending time with my family. It's hard to come down out of my mental cloud and be fully present for them. :(
It is extremely interesting because although we have very different auxiliary and tertiary functions, having Ni as our primary functions make the process in which we think very similar in a highly strategic and intellectual manner. However, I find myself often pulled into the emotional trenches of others expectations out of guilt and/or the inability (at times) to say no which is also incredibly emotionally draining.
Had to stop you on knowing what my emotions are. LoL Sometimes when I read a nasty comment online that either insulted my masculinity or told me I missed an important detail, I feel this hot sensation in my face and chest, and I make a particular face. Being naturally very self-conscious, I hide this face, knowing _for sure_ it's this weak, stammering coward face. Curious one day, though, and considering the notion that anger is a manifestation of fear, I walked over to a mirror as I experienced this feeling of fragility and was making that same face again - wow, it's a stern, tough-looking angry face. That pretty much answered that question as to whether anger really did stem from weakness. Add to that a philosophical video I saw about the uses and source of anger, and this naturally made me feel far more confident and this feeling of weakness upon experiencing certain things quickly turned into a sort of bold decisiveness. Good times! Definitely do take ten seconds out of the day to discover your emotions!
We plan way too much and rarely get to live life in the present. I think that’s why I love getting drunk and playing poker so much . The hedonism is such a rare treat to INTJs who always live in tomorrow
Getting drunk or gamble doesn't get you the best out of life, planning will. Or maybe you're not an INTJ? Maybe you have another mbti personality? INTJ s just love to live into the future, because INTJ s have their purpose in life and are only purposeless when being ignorant of the importance of self education as a tool to learn. INTJ s just love to learn whether we have to or not.
the fact that i thought that doing this was normal until my mom got mad at me for it and then now you telling me that not everybody does it is kind of scary and sad in a sense. maybe this "not living in the moment" is the reason why i have a very bad memory when it comes to past events, since i wasn't really fully there, if that makes sense.
Haha that Se Demon must be a pain in the ass. Getting that high from being in your head seems to be one of the drawbacks of the NT temperament. It’s a gift and a curse. Deep thought seems to be able to come up with some pretty ingenious solutions but it can also reek havoc in our personal lives. I haven’t learned enough to type others yet (I’m 2 months into Dave’s OP class but I’m Ne so that’s like... 10 months of normies research). I want to say my mom is lead Si because I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more stressed out when around someone. Her tendency to get stuck in every detail and mentioning it over and over to remind me as if I’m still that 10 year old who will forget to eat drives me insane. Love the analogy of our brains being like computers. The processing of the information takes energy just like a computer processor draws power from the PSU. One of the benefits of Ne, as far as I can tell, is the fact that I can process the information almost endlessly. I “Level Up” in a way when I gather & process the endless stream of what feels like consciousness. Where I lose energy seems to be in the developing of a process for my day to day life. That’s why I’ve been trying to find an IxxJ business partner. The polarity between the INTJ & the ENTP is so damn fascinating to me. I’m curious how you experience “losing touch with reality” as Dave says INxJ’s tend to do. Have you found a way to combat the incoming ‘Burnout’ from pushing yourself past exhaustion (Not sure if that’s just an ExxP issue)? That’s my biggest struggle. Developing that balance between slamming on the gas & letting go of the mental masturbation that we’ve been so accustomed to. P.S. I’m a lot of fun at bars LOL
Hah you SOUND fun! Burnout is real, but now I know where my triggers are. I know the balance I “should” keep between my BP and my SC. I’m at a point in life right now where I’m having to overwork my saviors (for business) for the past 4 months. It’s wonderful yet exhausting, and I feel way more swingy in my demons. But... I know it’s only for a short period. I think it’s important to set timelines of what functions and animals we choose to work according to what makes sense for us and that season of life.
L J I’m rewatching the beginner series from their class because I don’t fully understand the blast consume play sleep just yet. I just finally grasped the temperaments. I was wondering why I didn’t get it and it was because I kept zoning out during the videos and coming up with my own connections...
Before I learned my type, I was frustrated with how poor my memory was. Forgetful things. Misplacing keys. Not remembering plans. Eventually I realized I wasn’t forgetting them. I just never processed them to begin with. I wasn’t paying attention to placing my keys down because I was planning my next six tasks. I don’t live in the present, and that’s why I never remember the past lol.
I have highly superior autobiographical memory and I am an INTJ so either I am living so deep into my past or I am living in the future. I don't even know what the present is most of the time
The best part about sticking your finger into the blender, is that you can only do it 10 times and then you don't have to worry about it happening ever again!
The irony of listening to a video about how to get out of your head, while taking down cabinet doors and not paying attention: unscrewed all the screws, didn't hold the door, dropped it in my face. 😅 Also, the level of planning at the beginning of the video I 100% do. Re: putting off starting plans. I have to do that so much right now. I literally can't think about everything I want to think about and figure out right now, I don't have time and energy for that, I am trying to get my house ready to sell and move cross country and get educated for a better career (retail is hell !! ) .... I am taking the house 1-5 steps at a time and deliberately ignoring the rest of it other than in a very vague way. (And not making the house as perfect as I want 😢 ) I also meditate 15 minutes every morning.
@@InternetLiJo it's still slightly up in the air depending on what stays most interesting once I start getting into it but probably data science, it sounds like fun.
you accidentally stuck your finger in the blender?! WHAT! THAT’S CRAZY! 😱😱😱 as an INTJ, i can pretty relate to that as well. when i was at a mall shopping, i was supposed to be taking the escalator upwards but i was so out of my mind thinking of the book that i was so excited to purchase so i stupidly tumbled on the floor and didn’t realize that i stepped on the escalator going downwards. haha! i was so embarrassed 😬 #INTJ
😫 I know! I usually listen back to my videos a few times after I make them. I could only listen to this one once. I’ll marinate on the Te! The thing that’s hard for me to separate is how I speak about Te, because my perspective is always filtered through my Ni. But I’ll try to figure out a concept that makes sense to translate some info :)
It's difficult for me to get out of my head Whenever I try to sleep some random topics always came up and and then I again start talking inside my head because of this sometimes my head starts hurting and also I can't able to sleep and when I fall asleep it's difficult to wake up and then I get more angry .
I should get out of my head more and stop watching so many UA-cam videos but i can't help it. At least it is better than watching a Soap Opera on the tv. lol
Been plotting to escape my mind for some time now... I think that the plotting is keeping me in there longer though. Didn't know that I was classified as INTJ until later in life but in retrospect it explains a lot about who I am. Is it possible to be absorbed in what you are thinking about but just longing for someone to be there thinking about it with you? To share in the chaos? I think about this a lot. Long comment over.
Huh. I was not anticipating a response haha. I think so too but not necessarily in to romantic sense. I just wanna teach someone about anything they're willing to listen to me drone on about. anyway thank you for the advise. It's appreciated :D
Any thoughts on what it means if you plan out conversations, simulate their response, feel better about the subject, and then forget you never had the conversation? It's awkward. You later say, "I'd swear we talked about this." Or, far worse, you segue into a second conversation without having the first one. 😅
A point I'm struggling to sharpen, given my nature is to 'recreate the world', metaphorically: (Ecclesiastes 1:14) "I have seen all the works under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit." It's no wonder why I identify somehow with King Solomon (the author of the above passage), just as I do with Ernest Hemingway (and his late granddaughter and supermodel, Margaux), Isaac Newton, even Pete Maravich. You tell me not to 'think', I 'think' about 'it'. It doesn't matter what 'it' is. That's the irony and paradox behind why the imperfections of nature can actually be beautiful, if only we'll stop trying to destroy it in order to recreate it in our image.
@@cookiecaramel6187 I was imprecise for sure. Obsessing over specific usually relevant things is more accurate. But the point is INTJs should do and make things, not just consume data.
@@RossMadden Definitely agree... when I'm in my darkest times, I find myself so unfocused without a skill to improve or a hobby... currently exiting out of some of my 96 remaining Google Chrome tabs.. the addiction to learning is real.
LMAO. A few times there, I was like "that's not particularly INTJ", but the rest of the time the INTJness was oozing out of my screen and speakers :D I assume your partner isn't an NTP, or he'd be disciplining and assisting your Ni for the sake of your Fi and his Si/Fe. Thanks for sharing.
L J My wife is ENFP and I have been stretched to the limit and then some. :-). Still, I love her and she is still with me so hopefully I am becoming better at emoting. I started this week to read the Bible again without any certain studies. I had to consciously resist every few sentences from looking up some question or idea I was having. Just to read and let my questions go and let my subconscious soak it up was a task to get back too. When I was younger it was easier because I could spend hours alone :-)
I have a question. How does an INTJ deal with being a slave to the present? Forced to be at the behest of those around me at all times. I feel as though my inferior is forced to the forefront, my intuition constantly having to backpedal in the face of new and ever present Se every moment. I am an INTJ that can never be alone unless I want to sacrifice my own goals to sooth my sanity. My life's goals on a pedestal being sacrificed so that others can have momentary pleasure. I dont know what to do, I dont know how to get out of this. I'm angry. I'm so sad.
Tell me about it 😒 sometimes I wish I had a remote, it's too much thinking it's almost like a compulsion, and when my plan fails all hell breaks through for me
This is the reason I feel like a bad friend sometimes. I love my friends, but I have trouble staying out of my shell to be present with them. Then after I leave the party, I’m like “wow, I should have asked them more questions or something”. Haha
Perhaps since INTJ's are good with system one should create systems to deal with the weaknesses and short comings and blind spots of the personality type.
Hey Kevin! So having Ni first your mental patterns will string together in a very similar way, however they may concern a different subject matter that relates more to your Fe function. Glad you could do a relate!
@@InternetLiJo It still follows the same pattern(which is what we always look for), but it comes from a different place(so it offers a novelty for us). Having the same dominant function makes us similar, yet different enough to find fascination in one another. I think our types can teach a lot to one another. :)
Entp knows that constant state of in the clouds, but in reverse, instead of one big vision like you, for me it's multiple visions 🤣 So I get the borderline dangerous part, I'm so completely unaware physically
Hey! I’m curious, what are your sexual modalities? (I’m assuming you got typed by Dave and Shannon since you interviewed Dave.) You’re kind of striking me (after only a few minutes of consuming) as maybe a M Ni, but maybe that’s just because you’re focusing on Ni so much in this video.
L J Ok, that’s really cool. I was typed by them to be MF NiTe BSC. (I think I may have even talked with you very briefly when I was active in the Facebook groups....). So so many things you say here are SO MUCH like me it’s amazing. But it just seemed stronger and more “punchy” (as they say) in certain ways (hard to explain in a short UA-cam comment).
And I’ve been really really thinking lately that I have to work on getting out of my head more. So this video is great timing, and so helpful to me because it’s actually from someone who is like me. (Mostly)
Not planning is easy only when I dont have to interact with people. If I suspend this and have to engage people all hell breaks loose. This why I like nature. It follows it's own rules. People however dont even follow the rules they themselves are setting.
Ex That lion just ate a full meal. Stay x meters away and it will ignore you. That human just got a pay raise and a promotion above me. Why are they still attacking my position that is now subordinate to theirs?
I need this. I am way further in unhealthyness. When a weekplan does not go 100% as planned, and a change happens. I basically go. That's it, all is lost. It is no longer perfect, or gasp! Never was? Oh noes! Now my process is no longer credible! egads! Then the panic dies out, and Se shadow quietly fixes the disaster, before looking back at Ni like.. lol you messed up, and your little shadow Se had to fix it for you, how very inept of you trololol. And then Ni and Te go like.. Crud! We were not eminently perfect in our harebrained scheme! Muh forms! I get so fixated on doing my thing 100% as intended, and the slightest alteration has me knee-jerk into self sabotaging rage. I mean, I still complete the weekplan, but in a re-routed manner. It's not like someone is scrutinizing me and ready to castigate me into oblivion for any alteration, but many Se doms can just come to me like, lol you don't need to be so focused and extreme. And then I go like, lol said like a true Ni shadow, they got no sense of foresight, even if it it them on the head with a shovel. But I'll wrap up as I get pedantic when I unleash my fripperous blather for too long. :p
"Planning my planning!"
Yep!!
Same here
So true 🤣
I laughed like a maniac at that moment because it is sooo truly relatable xD
I know Im randomly asking but does someone know of a tool to log back into an Instagram account??
I was dumb forgot the password. I would appreciate any help you can offer me
When you start watching this video and start looking for the next video you want to watch. XD
Haha I get that!
That's what I do the moment I get on any video
I thought everyone did that?
I was just doing that! Lol
I was having this conversation with an INFJ last night . You have to drag yourself into the present and absorb the present . Literally drag yourself out of your head 😆. This one really spoke to me . It’s like a drug . A powerful engine chugging away processing . Not processing is so difficult .
Exactly - processing, yes!
LITERALLY drag yourself out of your head? Wat? 😂
As a INTJ myself I can say I accidentally do this and it can drive me crazy.
Right? We are the worst sometimes.
This is is painfully relatable.
😬😬😬 #thestruggle
I am kinda addicted to thinking about things that I want to improve or mentally learning about something and seeking for insights in my head. Even while I am taking a bath, having breakfast, brushing my teeth, driving, etc. My mind just keep thinking about anything else. My vision is more interesting than the present moment, I might ended up procrastinate the "boring" tasks. - INTJ
Brooooo, I'm amazed at how you explained what it can be like inside an INTJ's mind! I literally get exhausted thinking & juggling social settings! I love my solitude afterward!!!
At the start I was thinking, "If I got outside of my head, I would have no place to go." :-) As a kid my folks didn't use the punishment of going to my room where I would have to be alone. Where's the punishment in that? Forcing outside to socialize would be harder for me to take. To this day, when things become too stressful I end up in my office where I get into my head even more.
When you were describing your planning out events I can really relate to that. When I was teaching that is exactly how I prepared for a lecture. I found that it wasn't being in front of people that would bother me. It would be floundering up there unprepared that would be terrifying. I controlled the agenda for the class, and the topics to be discussed. A bit of small talk (often all planned out in advance) to worm up the room and then into the material I had gone over step by step, forwards and backwards, very few surprises. For me it wasn't just a "pro," but it was a necessity for that particular job.
"I do not like surprises." Oh yeah, I can relate to that!
The "con" of course is that it severely restricts the number of things you can do. It takes time to plan, and if you are planning one thing, you aren't doing another.
When I am planning the occurrences of events in a day, when I already know all the steps I have to take and it is a question of planning when they will be taken, it drives me completely nuts when my ESTP wife tosses in hurdles that I wasn't expecting at some critical point in my planning. I know I can work on this until time X, then I have to begin preparation for the next step, which has to be finished by time Y, so I can get to another item at time Z. Usually the hurdles have something to do with "people plans" that she has created. But she has no idea how finely I have my routine planned out to be on time with no issues. Suddenly I am frustrated and she can't figure out why. And there is no way to explain the judging approach to a perceiver so that she will understand it. :-)
You raise a good point that brains are like computers, and the INTJ is like overclocking a CPU. You do get exhausted because you are pouring physical energy into your brain. All the top chess players agree that you have to be in incredibly good physical shape when you are playing a major match or tournament because sitting there for 6 hours while in complete deep concentration will leave you drained to the dregs and right when you might need your maximum effort, in the end game where one wrong me can take you from a hard fought victory to a loss, you have to have something still left in the reservoir to give. Sleep, and exercise are critical. The various players all have some physical sport that they play, or other method of keeping their bodies in shape: soccer, basketball, swimming, jogging, or something.
As I get older it takes more work to do the same amount of stuff. Yesterday I woke up around 4am and worked on a new video for 12 straight hours. My wife went out with our grandkids to take some Easter pictures and when the doorbell rang I was wondering who was there, but it was my wife, and she was already done. The time was just gone as i was working inside my head. I was shocked that it was that late already. And last evening I was wiped out and ready for our date sitting with my wife on the couch and watching a movie made in 1949 about an INTJ trying to figure out relationships. :-)
I remember when I was working with computer machine language decades ago, and studding the pins on CPU chips there were levels of interrupts that could come in, but the top dog was a Non-Maskable Interrupt, which put everything else on hold. The registers were all dumped onto the stock and a particular routine was run to handle the interrupt. That is exactly how I feel when something comes in to disrupt my mental flow. I have to dump my data onto "the stack" and deal with the interruption. Sometimes, I don't do it gracefully, and my wife points this out when it happens. "There is never a good time to interrupt you, because your mind is always working on something." Somehow, she has managed to put up with me all these years, and soon we will celebrate our 43rd anniversary. I am a lucky guy.
Driving on autopilot is how I dealt with nearly 2.5 hours of commuting every day to and from work. I listened to audio books, worked on essays or articles I was going to write inside my head, and all at once I was back home. A big problem that has happened a number of times is I am on autopilot, driving to one place that I drove routinely, when I was supposed to be going somewhere else, and I missed my turn. "Where are you going?" asks my wife. Oops.
When I get up to get some water or coffee, I may not even remember that I had filled my glass or my cup, or done other things, but my water is there on my desk, etc, so I must have done it. I am deep in thought on what I am working on and if my wife sees me from where she is, she will look at my serious face and ask, "What's wrong? Or are you thinking about something?" And suddenly I am pulled out into the outside world for a moment to see what is going on around me. She is one of a very few people who can do that, and make me smile (at least some of the time).
I am glad you didn't make a "finger smoothie" that time with the blender. :-)
MY wife is a lucid dreamer. She can be deep inside a dream, wake up to use the restroom, and then go back to bed and jump back inside her dream as if there were no interruption. I can't imagine doing that. I seldom even remember my dreams. However, I can still relate because that is very similar to how I am when I am working on something mentally and I am interrupted. I resist being "awakened" and I do my best to get back to the "dream" as quickly as possible.
I Love it, "I have to start planning my planning." How INTJ is that??? :-)
Something that I feel (scary word) about my mental time is it can be like a visit to Disneyland. I went there in the 1950s when it was brand new. I went there for my honeymoon, and since lived so close to it, I lost track of how many times I have been there (but the last time was in 1980 and I probably wouldn't recognize it any longer). But the thing is, you don't always care about results per se when you are in the theme park. Just being there is fun. It isn't just this ride that is fun, but nearly any ride would be fun. I approach my head time like that, if I don't have a major task in the works. I will find something mentioned in an article I read, or a video I watched and it sounds interesting. So, I dive into it, and it is very interesting so I dive deep into it. But that leads to other topics that are amazing. So, when I stop and deal with "real life" I am giving up something I treasure highly. It has to be a really good something for me to feel good about leaving my "theme park" in order to enjoy it. When it comes to my wife or my grandkids it is just that, something really good, but woe to an idiot knocking on my door trying to sell me something or hand out a religious tract and forcing me to break out of what I am doing. :-)
I am at a loss as to how I would not think about anything. That is like not breathing, or planning for oxygen-free time. If I am not thinking about a major project, I am thinking about some philosophical or scientific idea. There is an infinite supply of things to think about and trying to "not think" about them is like trying to avoid all the nitrogen and oxygen molecules in the room by moving quickly. :-) Planning to open up thinking time for fun ideas rather than work related ideas, I am good with. My best way to do that is to read fiction. It pulls me out of my normal routine and forces me into a new direction, sort of using different mental "muscles." But even there I tend to read my own books often and I am critiquing them, proofreading them as I go along, and it is only a major project hiding inside relaxed clothing.
"A small [hesitation implying minuscule, tiny, almost undetectable, best is not detectable at all] sliver of perfection." I love it! We have to settle for what is "good enough" by our own personal standards. However, an INTJ's idea of good enough is another person's idea of perfection.
I remember early on when I first met my wife, I would perform for a group at her church or a family gathering, and what I noticed with each song was some bit of it that wasn't perfect. My wife thought that all the songs were perfect. Her twin sister asked me to play one song 3 or 4 times in a row. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn way back when I first started performing for others, was if something wasn't perfect, you keep going. Cover up the mistake by dazzling them with brilliance the rest of the way if you can. They hopefully will remember what came after, rather than the part that grated against your own nerves.
It was like you read my mind when you said "Life is over really quickly..." and when you get to be my age you realize that the Grim Reaper has you on the horizon at least. I have known dozens of people who died younger than I am right now. I worry about living long enough to watch my grandkids grow up and being able to help them on their way. I worry about having time with my wife that I would hate to miss out on. Beyond that, I have things to write, to think about, and to learn, and there is far too little time left to me for all of that. So, I have to get cracking.
I can't complain, however. My life has had its share of misery of course but overall I have been one lucky guy, and if I died tomorrow I have lived a wonderful life. (George Bailey eat your heart out. 🙂)
Thanks again for another wonderful video, Lindsey!
"However, an INTJ's idea of good enough is another person's idea of perfection." you know what, you give some of the best comments I've ever read on UA-cam.
That's a biggest comment i have ever seen but great one!
INTJ Island I enjoy your lecture comments very much. Seen you on a bunch of INTJ videos in the past and you’re very well written.
He’s awesome.
Afraid of missing out on other things life has to offer? Don't be. Better planning life than life is planning you.
I often say to my partner, who thinks INTJs are wonderful, the worst part is being in my head. I think so much about everything my head hurts and need to jump out for some peace, but actually doing it is hard and part of me doesn't want to, despite needing to. Well done on providing help for head-sore INTJs who don't know how to (nor want to) leave their own heads.
It seems kind of paradoxical, but being “mindful” for me means getting into my body and out of my head. You articulate it well!
PLANNING YOUR PLANNING. Best INTJ hack ever. Thank you!
Haha it sounds psychotic when you hear it but it makes sense to us 😂
"Having a brain that works this way is wonderfully amazing and I am grateful for it but it is also sometimes completely overwhelming and it is also many times so rationally irrational." This.
1. Driving to work w/o realizing how I got there: check
2. Planning ALWAYS: check
3. Doing really dumb stuff (like sticking my shoes in the frig) while being in a thought castle - check
4. Telling my friends I can’t hang because I’m “Life designing” aka Planning lol - check
I have a seven day calendar now and it helps, I only plan out 3 days ahead instead of 3 months ahead now.
Butttt... I don’t really care if I miss out on hanging with friends. I’m also aware of how bad that sounds. #INTJ #NiProblems
Hahah I totally understand! I’ve put some really weird things in the fridge and freezer too. 😬🙃
being advised by a fellow intj brings so much "comfort" bc u understand :3
thank you :)
That's why I generally need a cooldown chill after I do an event. I do sound, light, screens, presentations for a local youth group and church. Everything needs to look good and function well. And don't dare try to get my attention while I'm preparing everything so that when I press Play, everything works.
Great advice which as an emphatic INTJ facing many of the problems you describe, I really needed. Happily subbed, thanks for the very useful content.
I find it fascinating how similar the struggles are between INTJs and INFJs. It's like doing the same dance to 2 different songs. I struggle quite a bit being in the moment. I've always joked about being on autopilot. I am constantly thinking things through long before it's needed and agonizing over the what ifs. I always need to have several contingency plans just in case. It does get draining when several things are going on at once, to the point I shutdown for some time.
One thing I've noticed over the years is that I am more terrified of not having a plan or being ill prepared than the event itself. Once something is in motion I can for the most part deal with the situation, but its exhausting because I'm forced to be in the moment. It will definitely not be my best work and that bothers me.
I don't like surprises either. I don't know how to react. My wife still tries to surprise me all the time. I know she enjoys it which matters to me more than anything, so I play along.
I'm not sure if you _(or any other INTJs)_ experience this in the same way but it sounded somewhat similar. I'm fairly detached from my emotions. It's like they're on a delay. I do feel them, just not when I should. Whenever someone asks me how I feel I honestly tell them I don't know, or it hasn't sunk in yet. I'm starting to think it's an Ni/Se problem.
Yes I’m very detached from my emotions and hahah surprises are the worst!
This is so me. If I'm not doing something toward one of my many goals, I feel useless. I am noticing all the things I'm missing in the present moment and that pains me. I hardly make time to spend time with loved ones and that's painful too because I know one day, I won't have that opportunity to do so. My new goal is to be more present... Ni can be amazing but it can cost you.
- INFJ
Exactly. It’s amazing but there is a huge price.
I feel so understood right now 😍. My trick is to not do everything myself. I can achieve anything I set my mind to, be superwoman. Very very hard stuff but it’s not worth it. I am only human and I have a lifetime to achieve “perfection”.
All of the solutions you mentioned are the things that I ended up doing at some point to help me mentally.
Even when I was a kid I was told that I couldn't/ needed to stay in the present moment.
It does feel very weird to have nothing to do, or to sacrifice the perfection that I wanted to achieve, but I'd rather not mentally strain myself too much.
Omg this is me, male intj who is I. Leadership positions because I got tired of the incompetence. My main gripe is nobody thinks it through so, I'll do it. I've gotta start saying no. It's affecting my personal relationships. I'm starting to get asked to take more things over.
Yessss. Exactly. You get it.
Project Hunter completely!
You just described my brain processing. I can relate so much to this.
Shes so right for this when she's explaining her plan for the week I can imagine myself doing the same and then i would be thinking like that as I prepare for the day which also leads to my Se not Se-ing right and boom I used toothpaste instead of facial cleanser for my face.
I use to think I was crazy for thinking the way I think, but after learning that my mind was like this I still think I’m crazy!!
I'm brand new to identifying and studying the personality types. (Like, started today.) But you describe how I was in my twenties. You are so right, we love the "planning" like its a place we can go. Internal modeling, planning and visualizing outcomes, redesign and repeat, it can overheat the brain! A few things helped me. Now, I'm 41, and I know how my brain works. I know how long I need to obsess on something to get it done. So I limit it to that amount of time. Second...I learned to put the obsessive stuff on autopilot. I flipped it so I can be "here" and obsess in the background. I call it the "back burner." It takes a lot out of me, but can do it when I have to. Three...stoicism. I learned about stoicism and its really helped me smooth over the extreme INTJ traits. And finally...adult beverages and carefully chosen movies at night. Little vacations. Its like stepping out of your brain for a bit, and the alcohol helps blur all the lines so you get entranced by the movie. I have happy movies, angry, adventure, depressed, enthusiastic etc. I can sometimes force a different mood. Weird, right. Cheers!
I'm so addictive to planning and having multiple goals and deadlines that I've never said no to a client. It starts causing me insomnia and sometimes I feel like an Alzheimer patient as my mind never stays in the present, to the point that now, I need to spend my precious time on UA-cam to find some advices =)). I'm glad to find your video and know that I'm not alone and I could do things to improve this.
I'm a Ti Ni and these videos are great thank you :)
The emotional exhaustion, for me at least, comes from my tertiary Fi.
Along the way, when I'm doing the planning, I, once in a while, would look at my plans from above and see if it passes my Te criteria. During the evaluation, my Fi would sometimes step in and ask "Would anybody find my plan helpful or significant?", "Would they find me helpful", etc. And then, before I know it, I fall into an Ni-Fi loop, and start second guessing everything. This emotional hiccup would then lead me to read more, plan more, organize more... And when everything's done and I don't receive any validation, the emotional exhaustion would become unbearable that I would need to take a day or two (or three) of alone-time to recuperate. And of course, being an INTJ, during the recuperation period, I break down everything that's happened and plan again, considering all possible ways on how to make it better the next time.
Also, the physical exhaustion does not come from my mind brewing up a plan, but from the Se stimuli that bombards me while I am brewing up the plan. It is energy-draining, and sometimes almost physically painful, to stop myself from my Ni-Te leisurely activity to deal with the infuriating Se chores (and sometimes with the inevitable Fe responsibilities).
Ughh the infuriating Se chores... yes I 100% feel you there. Just the Se hassle in general, terrible.
I just found your channel and binged half your videos ^^ it feels so good to finally relate to someone. Thank you for your content, it's really helpful!
Hey! Welcome! So glad you found me :)
When someone would say that, “ Then all he does is stare into space,” I never knew what that person was talking about but thanks to your video I do now. As far as your driving is concerned, your brain is processing what it needs to process but it will only register important information. Since nothing of anything significant happened your brain didn’t register it to memory. Living off the grid as I did so far from my nearest neighbour I always pre- worried about my trips to and from home as I always had to walk but all of the worrying wasn’t necessary because the walking had become habit. Unfortunately so had the worrying. I guess we INTJs may have to learn how to change our habits towards worrying lol. Thanks for another great presentation
Bonka Hermit aka INTJudge I’m interested in this off grid living you speak of, how long did you do it for?
L J it was for 25 plus years. It was just some recent heart failure that has temporarily brought me back to town. I had never used a cell phone before January 2019 so I had to learn how to do that. There was no cell service where I was. I would be glad to share my experience. I wrote a book that has to be revised because I did it 12 years ago. I never actually finished the bibliography so I couldn’t publish but I am considering putting the portions that were not taken from other sources on UA-cam. Nice talking. Let me know if there’s anything else you want me to share and keep up with your good job. Take care
I'm never not planning and thinking about what I'm going to do next.
I hardly plan anything out, I will get a quick outline and just take it as I go, adapt and overcome is a saying I live by.
what helped me alot is really gettin into meditation and training myself everyday to enjoy the present moment. Ive did this for years but the last 2 months i really got into this as in meditating for like 1 hour a day and doing breath excercises. Breath exercises helped me alot. Being conscious of them.
Being present has been a problem for me as an intj for years!.. especially if you're in a crisis in your life at the time, like I was, it becomes all about solving the problem and everything else is thrown off the wagon including friends and family and time flies by without any enjoyment and even worse, you may have isolated yourself for such a long time and still not solved your problems!!..not easy being an intj sometimes 😒
Exactly!!! I feel most people think this is a “non problem” but it really is to us. You blink and realize you’ve missed some really important stuff in life.
ahhh! this is so relatable! EVERY POINT THAT YOU MENTIONED IS SO DAMN RIGHT. it gets tiring sometimes how we, INTJ’s are hardwired. great video!
Beautiful video. Omg thats amazing ,I feel like that I don’t even realize .
2:50 - 3:40 That right there is precisely how I strategize, I have personally struggled with articulating that, thank you for providing the visual chessboard in the video as well.
So this is what dominant Ni looks like! I have it third but still can relate a bit. Great vid!
Thank you, glad it made sense in some capacity.
It's more like the Ni-Te thing rather than a dominant Ni only. Ni is so much more than this.
The inside of the head of an INFJ would look quite different. Although the looking and planning ahead is similar, the way the plan forms and evolves is quite different.
"no, I can't hang out with you" LOLLL, loved that added in bit
OMG!! What you described is exactly how my mind works. It’s insane. My wife always says, “turn your brain off” 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks a ton JiLo!
Watching this video was very helpful and I love the text notes.
I'm also relieved that I'm not the only alien on earth xD
I do too like figuring out things, it makes me feel like I did accomplish something, I think the figuring out is one of my main strengths, but yeah I do miss out on a lot of things on way? You are 100% right there you use that your phrase (stop and smell the roses) is accurate 💜🌠🍀✌
really interesting video. my issue is unfortunately as well as being intj, I have existential anxiety and depression (self diagnosed but it's the closest way to describe my feeling), so I spend my life setting these goals and achieving them but at times coming to panic because I can't figure out the REASON I'm doing it for, or what I'm getting out of it. if anyone relates or can offer advice I'd be thankful, I'm looking more into mindfulness as I feel it's the brain process that makes me miserable at times over anything else, and mindfulness pulls you away from that into the present moment
5:02 I've found surprising results with a thing to help quiet the mind.
All you do is direct your attention toward thinking.
Focus on thinking about what you're going to think of next.
Once you try it, you'll understand.
Great video!!! Great advice!!!!!
Thank you for being yourself!!!
You're a Great person!!!!!
Just yesterday, I had a meeting with my therapist solely to seek help on how to get out of my head. I am a poet and writer and I tend to spend hours just navigating my dreams and thoughts. Even though it is enjoyable and creative, I hate it later because I have lost so much time. INTJ.
It can be so challenging sometimes. I feel you.
Thank you for this video. Feel better to know that I'm not weird 😆... I am aware that my grasp of reality is usually incomplete and tattered at best, I've been missing critical details quite often like 50% of the time. I often (discretely) rely on my close friends, family members, and colleagues, who are more explorative by nature (Se) to help feed me with the reality.
Yes! I do that as well.
idk if people have noticed that on youtube channels content creators who could be intjs/intps would directly go straight to the point of topics, no mess about personal stuff.
Yeah it’s work for me to bring in the personal elements. I actively try to do so because it engages about 50% of any given audience.
@@InternetLiJo could understand that being an intj myself.
This is so me and definitely some of the things I’ve also tried to implement to find balance.
I struggle with this every evening and for me some little miracles came into my life in the form of ferrets and they make my evenings feel less like detox and more like a goal to get to.
"Sacrifice perfection" I gasped
I can totally relate to this. There are a million things going on in my head So the way you explained that is so simplified. So the chess game times 1000. Then to put feelings into it there just isn't time for it. When I get home from work I have to sit down and stop for about an hour. All the outside stimulus has completely exhausted my ability to focus on anything. So at that moment I need silence. If anything emotional gets involved I have to sleep. even if it is only for 10 minutes. I need to completely reboot. Some people seem to think this is ADD. But that is so not what it is. Its exhaustion from hyper focus. Perfect example I am typing this and thinking about all the things I have to do at the same time. I am at work so I had someone come up and interrupt me. I got him the answers he was looking for and continued to type this and listen to him and this at the same time while planning what I am doing as soon as this and my work task is done. Then I realized something else that I was thinking about this morning and also did that too. When it all slows down I get bored and have to get up and do something else. But all the time I am thinking about every detail of everything. I have to write it down so I have note pads everywhere to remind me of the million things going on. Wizards drive me home by the way.
Your description of an Ni-dominant mental processes and default "flow state" is dead on. It is living in an organizing/pattern-recognition overdrive, where you set yourself into a structured solution (pattern) and live it. Engaging in a large task, with many parallel sub-tasks, moving forward, resolving issues, seeing risks and limiting them, optimizing, tracking progress against time and budget, keeping information flowing to the people who need it, to keep them moving forward with their part of your overall plan -- in other works the average day of a fully engaged INTJ -- it all takes alot of energy. You absolutely have to allow yourself to break out of this, unplug, relax, allow for the unexpected and tend to those offset parts of your life (time, people, things) to find balance.
Automatic driving. Ha. Yep. Actually rather scary when you realize you don't remember the last hour that you were controlling a ton and a half of metal, going 60 miles an hour.
This is literally my life /facepalm, thanks for taking the time to come up with great solutions to overcome this. I will definitely write these tips down and implement them into my week thanks :)
Haha the struggle is real isn’t it? Let me know how they go, I’m interested! Honestly this was one of the biggest struggles in my life to get past, few people actually understand that 😬. It’s also not a “cool” topic to talk about.... but damn... it’s everything.
@@InternetLiJo for me the issue is letting those thoughts start to become more and more negative or corrupting to the point where you start to believe them. Distracting myself with friends and fun projects helps a lot but any additional ideas is always appreciated.
Hey LiJo I enjoy watching your videos to help me comprehend why I think the way I do, as I am INTJ-T myself. I am also in the Doctor of Chiropractic program at Life University, so when I heard you say your legs asleep I thought about how you must be sitting most of the time you planning, filming, and editing videos. I don't wanna see you in pain or uncomfortable while producing your amazing content so please see a chiropractor. If you would want to talk about it or ask any questions I will give you my email at request, for questions pertaining to why chiropractic is necessary and why it can have exponential benefits for your health when you are under lifetime chiropractic care. Besides that, I would love to pick your brain sometime. Thank you for your time if you get around to reading this.
Good stuff. It sounded familiar when you said your weak Se can be borderline dangerous at times. My weak Se has got me into some tricky situations, too. Se trickster has made me absentmindedly run red lights (almost, I caught myself). I know this sounds bad lol. I even have reasonably good hand-eye coordination, but it doesn't seem to help the lack of awareness.
Yes totally! When I’m trying to focus on Se I can do an Se quite well. But it requires all of my attention and focus. But if I’m in Ni land which is most of the time my lack of awareness is embarrassing. Like the amount of stories I have.... may have to be a video at some point lol.
@@InternetLiJo Lol that would be a good video, I'd watch that. Yeah, kind of like you said, it's almost like straining to use a function (might not be the right word, but you know what I mean).
"I'm doing things in my head - don't bother me with reality." Unfortunately, this bites this INTJ in the butt when it comes to spending time with my family. It's hard to come down out of my mental cloud and be fully present for them. :(
It is extremely interesting because although we have very different auxiliary and tertiary functions, having Ni as our primary functions make the process in which we think very similar in a highly strategic and intellectual manner. However, I find myself often pulled into the emotional trenches of others expectations out of guilt and/or the inability (at times) to say no which is also incredibly emotionally draining.
*:^ )
Interesting! So we string along the same mental sequencing but entrench ourselves in different areas of thought. I can see that!
I feel you - infj
Infj here... A magical creature drives me home safely everyday.
Had to stop you on knowing what my emotions are. LoL
Sometimes when I read a nasty comment online that either insulted my masculinity or told me I missed an important detail, I feel this hot sensation in my face and chest, and I make a particular face. Being naturally very self-conscious, I hide this face, knowing _for sure_ it's this weak, stammering coward face.
Curious one day, though, and considering the notion that anger is a manifestation of fear, I walked over to a mirror as I experienced this feeling of fragility and was making that same face again - wow, it's a stern, tough-looking angry face. That pretty much answered that question as to whether anger really did stem from weakness. Add to that a philosophical video I saw about the uses and source of anger, and this naturally made me feel far more confident and this feeling of weakness upon experiencing certain things quickly turned into a sort of bold decisiveness. Good times! Definitely do take ten seconds out of the day to discover your emotions!
Wow this is a fantastic comment. IxxJs have this weird fear/control complex. You really captured it here.
We plan way too much and rarely get to live life in the present. I think that’s why I love getting drunk and playing poker so much . The hedonism is such a rare treat to INTJs who always live in tomorrow
I can see how that would be the case :)
Getting drunk or gamble doesn't get you the best out of life, planning will. Or maybe you're not an INTJ? Maybe you have another mbti personality? INTJ s just love to live into the future, because INTJ s have their purpose in life and are only purposeless when being ignorant of the importance of self education as a tool to learn. INTJ s just love to learn whether we have to or not.
David McDonald ya same. Unless you wanna play sometime
the fact that i thought that doing this was normal until my mom got mad at me for it and then now you telling me that not everybody does it is kind of scary and sad in a sense.
maybe this "not living in the moment" is the reason why i have a very bad memory when it comes to past events, since i wasn't really fully there, if that makes sense.
Shlt love having start a video over to figure out where I was when my mind started cooking. Tomorrow and Saturday went well. Get to rest up on Sunday
Get it!
Haha that Se Demon must be a pain in the ass. Getting that high from being in your head seems to be one of the drawbacks of the NT temperament. It’s a gift and a curse. Deep thought seems to be able to come up with some pretty ingenious solutions but it can also reek havoc in our personal lives.
I haven’t learned enough to type others yet (I’m 2 months into Dave’s OP class but I’m Ne so that’s like... 10 months of normies research). I want to say my mom is lead Si because I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more stressed out when around someone. Her tendency to get stuck in every detail and mentioning it over and over to remind me as if I’m still that 10 year old who will forget to eat drives me insane.
Love the analogy of our brains being like computers. The processing of the information takes energy just like a computer processor draws power from the PSU. One of the benefits of Ne, as far as I can tell, is the fact that I can process the information almost endlessly. I “Level Up” in a way when I gather & process the endless stream of what feels like consciousness. Where I lose energy seems to be in the developing of a process for my day to day life. That’s why I’ve been trying to find an IxxJ business partner.
The polarity between the INTJ & the ENTP is so damn fascinating to me. I’m curious how you experience “losing touch with reality” as Dave says INxJ’s tend to do.
Have you found a way to combat the incoming ‘Burnout’ from pushing yourself past exhaustion (Not sure if that’s just an ExxP issue)?
That’s my biggest struggle. Developing that balance between slamming on the gas & letting go of the mental masturbation that we’ve been so accustomed to.
P.S. I’m a lot of fun at bars LOL
Hah you SOUND fun! Burnout is real, but now I know where my triggers are. I know the balance I “should” keep between my BP and my SC. I’m at a point in life right now where I’m having to overwork my saviors (for business) for the past 4 months. It’s wonderful yet exhausting, and I feel way more swingy in my demons. But... I know it’s only for a short period. I think it’s important to set timelines of what functions and animals we choose to work according to what makes sense for us and that season of life.
L J I’m rewatching the beginner series from their class because I don’t fully understand the blast consume play sleep just yet. I just finally grasped the temperaments. I was wondering why I didn’t get it and it was because I kept zoning out during the videos and coming up with my own connections...
DrScream hahah high Consume and Ne confirmed!
L J DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY FUNCTION STACK?!
Can’t wait till that’s a thing 😆
I blended my fingers too 🤦♀️
Thank you soooo much for this video ❤️
Ahhh! It got you too!!
Before I learned my type, I was frustrated with how poor my memory was. Forgetful things. Misplacing keys. Not remembering plans. Eventually I realized I wasn’t forgetting them. I just never processed them to begin with. I wasn’t paying attention to placing my keys down because I was planning my next six tasks. I don’t live in the present, and that’s why I never remember the past lol.
You put it into words...can relate.
I have highly superior autobiographical memory and I am an INTJ so either I am living so deep into my past or I am living in the future. I don't even know what the present is most of the time
The best part about sticking your finger into the blender, is that you can only do it 10 times and then you don't have to worry about it happening ever again!
Amazing video❤loved it👍ur a masterpiece
Wow thank you so much.
Thanks a lot these tips are really helpful for an Ni-dom, the cutting perfection one is really hard 😔 but it's a small sacrifice for an amazing mind
The forever quest for balance right? It never ends.
@@InternetLiJo perfect balance 😂
Can you please do a video on the energy sapping of planning EVERYTHING? I can't walk and chew gum
Really interesting idea! Would you want the focus to be on how to make sensory things less draining?
I thought I wanted to be more like that but no that seems exsating
Exactly!
The irony of listening to a video about how to get out of your head, while taking down cabinet doors and not paying attention: unscrewed all the screws, didn't hold the door, dropped it in my face. 😅
Also, the level of planning at the beginning of the video I 100% do.
Re: putting off starting plans. I have to do that so much right now. I literally can't think about everything I want to think about and figure out right now, I don't have time and energy for that, I am trying to get my house ready to sell and move cross country and get educated for a better career (retail is hell !! ) .... I am taking the house 1-5 steps at a time and deliberately ignoring the rest of it other than in a very vague way. (And not making the house as perfect as I want 😢 )
I also meditate 15 minutes every morning.
Congrats on perusing the additional education! What are you going for?
@@InternetLiJo it's still slightly up in the air depending on what stays most interesting once I start getting into it but probably data science, it sounds like fun.
you accidentally stuck your finger in the blender?! WHAT! THAT’S CRAZY! 😱😱😱 as an INTJ, i can pretty relate to that as well. when i was at a mall shopping, i was supposed to be taking the escalator upwards but i was so out of my mind thinking of the book that i was so excited to purchase so i stupidly tumbled on the floor and didn’t realize that i stepped on the escalator going downwards. haha! i was so embarrassed 😬 #INTJ
Wow, this was hard to listen to - in a good way. Would love to hear more Ni tips Lindsay, and maybe even some Te.
😫 I know! I usually listen back to my videos a few times after I make them. I could only listen to this one once.
I’ll marinate on the Te! The thing that’s hard for me to separate is how I speak about Te, because my perspective is always filtered through my Ni. But I’ll try to figure out a concept that makes sense to translate some info :)
Me: Get out of my head!
Ni: I _am_ you.
It's difficult for me to get out of my head Whenever I try to sleep some random topics always came up and and then I again start talking inside my head because of this sometimes my head starts hurting and also I can't able to sleep and when I fall asleep it's difficult to wake up and then I get more angry .
I should get out of my head more and stop watching so many UA-cam videos but i can't help it. At least it is better than watching a Soap Opera on the tv. lol
Been plotting to escape my mind for some time now... I think that the plotting is keeping me in there longer though.
Didn't know that I was classified as INTJ until later in life but in retrospect it explains a lot about who I am.
Is it possible to be absorbed in what you are thinking about but just longing for someone to be there thinking about it with you? To share in the chaos? I think about this a lot.
Long comment over.
I think everyone wants someone at some point :)
Huh. I was not anticipating a response haha. I think so too but not necessarily in to romantic sense. I just wanna teach someone about anything they're willing to listen to me drone on about. anyway thank you for the advise. It's appreciated :D
Any thoughts on what it means if you plan out conversations, simulate their response, feel better about the subject, and then forget you never had the conversation? It's awkward. You later say, "I'd swear we talked about this." Or, far worse, you segue into a second conversation without having the first one. 😅
Life is a list of things left unsaid.
Hahah it sounds like Ti!
A point I'm struggling to sharpen, given my nature is to 'recreate the world', metaphorically:
(Ecclesiastes 1:14) "I have seen all the works under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit."
It's no wonder why I identify somehow with King Solomon (the author of the above passage), just as I do with Ernest Hemingway (and his late granddaughter and supermodel, Margaux), Isaac Newton, even Pete Maravich. You tell me not to 'think', I 'think' about 'it'. It doesn't matter what 'it' is. That's the irony and paradox behind why the imperfections of nature can actually be beautiful, if only we'll stop trying to destroy it in order to recreate it in our image.
I totally relate to that!
I'm 50 50 im either too focused on now or I'm not present trying to figure out what comes next
INTJs need hobbies or they go crazy trying to learn everything. I like playing volleyball and painting.
I need to learn the one thing that fits into my bigger reasons :)
INTJ here. Strong minds don't go crazy.
@@cookiecaramel6187 I was imprecise for sure. Obsessing over specific usually relevant things is more accurate. But the point is INTJs should do and make things, not just consume data.
@@RossMadden Definitely agree... when I'm in my darkest times, I find myself so unfocused without a skill to improve or a hobby... currently exiting out of some of my 96 remaining Google Chrome tabs.. the addiction to learning is real.
I once smashed into a barrier with my face while walking, lost a part of a tooth.
LMAO. A few times there, I was like "that's not particularly INTJ", but the rest of the time the INTJness was oozing out of my screen and speakers :D
I assume your partner isn't an NTP, or he'd be disciplining and assisting your Ni for the sake of your Fi and his Si/Fe.
Thanks for sharing.
Lol he’s an ENFP!
L J My wife is ENFP and I have been stretched to the limit and then some. :-). Still, I love her and she is still with me so hopefully I am becoming better at emoting. I started this week to read the Bible again without any certain studies. I had to consciously resist every few sentences from looking up some question or idea I was having. Just to read and let my questions go and let my subconscious soak it up was a task to get back too. When I was younger it was easier because I could spend hours alone :-)
I have a question. How does an INTJ deal with being a slave to the present? Forced to be at the behest of those around me at all times. I feel as though my inferior is forced to the forefront, my intuition constantly having to backpedal in the face of new and ever present Se every moment. I am an INTJ that can never be alone unless I want to sacrifice my own goals to sooth my sanity. My life's goals on a pedestal being sacrificed so that others can have momentary pleasure. I dont know what to do, I dont know how to get out of this. I'm angry. I'm so sad.
Always remember you have the ability to leverage control of any situation. You are the master chest player. Assume your role 😉
Tell me about it 😒 sometimes I wish I had a remote, it's too much thinking it's almost like a compulsion, and when my plan fails all hell breaks through for me
This is the reason I feel like a bad friend sometimes. I love my friends, but I have trouble staying out of my shell to be present with them. Then after I leave the party, I’m like “wow, I should have asked them more questions or something”. Haha
Perhaps since INTJ's are good with system one should create systems to deal with the weaknesses and short comings and blind spots of the personality type.
Objective personality is doing it!
@@InternetLiJo Very good young Padawan.
I relate so much to this as an INFJ. Also, how come it's April already?!
Hey Kevin! So having Ni first your mental patterns will string together in a very similar way, however they may concern a different subject matter that relates more to your Fe function. Glad you could do a relate!
@@InternetLiJo It still follows the same pattern(which is what we always look for), but it comes from a different place(so it offers a novelty for us). Having the same dominant function makes us similar, yet different enough to find fascination in one another. I think our types can teach a lot to one another. :)
Kevin Kostreci I couldn’t agree more! And also I forgot to mention - wtf April 🤯
Currently in this mode with Coronavirus lockdown
Entp knows that constant state of in the clouds, but in reverse, instead of one big vision like you, for me it's multiple visions 🤣 So I get the borderline dangerous part, I'm so completely unaware physically
Do your projects really allow you the pleasure of sleep?
Hey! I’m curious, what are your sexual modalities? (I’m assuming you got typed by Dave and Shannon since you interviewed Dave.)
You’re kind of striking me (after only a few minutes of consuming) as maybe a M Ni, but maybe that’s just because you’re focusing on Ni so much in this video.
You nailed it! I’m FM Ni/Te BPSC so yes my Ni is M
L J Ok, that’s really cool. I was typed by them to be MF NiTe BSC. (I think I may have even talked with you very briefly when I was active in the Facebook groups....).
So so many things you say here are SO MUCH like me it’s amazing. But it just seemed stronger and more “punchy” (as they say) in certain ways (hard to explain in a short UA-cam comment).
And I’ve been really really thinking lately that I have to work on getting out of my head more. So this video is great timing, and so helpful to me because it’s actually from someone who is like me. (Mostly)
KayKayBayForever awesome!! Well nice to meet you (again) 👽
Not planning is easy only when I dont have to interact with people.
If I suspend this and have to engage people all hell breaks loose. This why I like nature. It follows it's own rules. People however dont even follow the rules they themselves are setting.
Ex
That lion just ate a full meal. Stay x meters away and it will ignore you.
That human just got a pay raise and a promotion above me. Why are they still attacking my position that is now subordinate to theirs?
"[Getting lost in a long list of contingency considerations and planning] Did I eat breakfast today? Why is my left leg asleep?"
This made me cry 😭✅Said enough- ENFJ 🤣
How do you know it's like your in my head
I need this. I am way further in unhealthyness. When a weekplan does not go 100% as planned, and a change happens. I basically go. That's it, all is lost. It is no longer perfect, or gasp! Never was? Oh noes! Now my process is no longer credible! egads! Then the panic dies out, and Se shadow quietly fixes the disaster, before looking back at Ni like.. lol you messed up, and your little shadow Se had to fix it for you, how very inept of you trololol. And then Ni and Te go like.. Crud! We were not eminently perfect in our harebrained scheme! Muh forms! I get so fixated on doing my thing 100% as intended, and the slightest alteration has me knee-jerk into self sabotaging rage. I mean, I still complete the weekplan, but in a re-routed manner. It's not like someone is scrutinizing me and ready to castigate me into oblivion for any alteration, but many Se doms can just come to me like, lol you don't need to be so focused and extreme. And then I go like, lol said like a true Ni shadow, they got no sense of foresight, even if it it them on the head with a shovel. But I'll wrap up as I get pedantic when I unleash my fripperous blather for too long. :p
Wow I feel this so hard, thanks for sharing with me.