@@TheKrispyfortthat's also what I thought but I still don't think that this is enough to change someone because they easily obtain these very important informations without any consequences or they simply cannot relate to what is being said. Sorry for the absolute trash grammar I'm still learning English.
Thank you for including "just try damn it", i spent 13 years trying to become an engineer and it's finally happening. I graduate this summer and start work. I was told I would never make it in the military. I served in the Army for 8 years and that's how i funded my education. Seriously people, just try. You're a lot stronger and smarter than a lot of bad people want you to realize.
Was the Just try part also for the talking to women part? Also I'm confused about what he means? Like I don't want sex but he is saying to just approach women and state something? ...I'd assume you have to talk about other things first...have social skills and introduce myself? All this before just blurring out something about jeez I don't even know what he wants u to say. That I find u beautiful and would love to ___? Idk...he over estimates how little I know... I was forced to be a late bloomer so I need a little more help then the average Joe figuring this part out. Any help?
@@bentravis777You’re overcomplicating it. Just try talking to a woman. That’s it. It will either go bad or good or neither. Just try and you are already ahead of where you were before.
Congrats man! I've tried for 6 years at this moment and I'm working as a phone agent to fund my education, I hate my work, but I hope it gives some results.
I discovered you at 19 and started to binge your books and online content. Now I'm 26. Got my education in check, got a relationship with the most wonderful woman that I couldn't even imagined back then, immensely grew my confidence and emotional maturity and managed to untangle all the emotional baggage and mental health problems that I had. You were and are a big help in that journey. Thanks Mark.
00:00 🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society. 00:58 💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts all aspects of your life. 02:52 🕰 Value in a man compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gratification. 03:51 💡 Continuously educate yourself beyond formal schooling, focusing on life skills and emotional health. 06:10 🚫 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others. 07:41 🔄 Build self-awareness by understanding your motivations, fears, and behavioral patterns. 08:12 💪 Seize the opportunities and freedoms available today by taking action and continually pushing yourself to grow.
As a woman, I found this video useful to understand men a little better. I also learned some stuff for myself. Like, yeah. I do complain too much. It's how I process things, but I realize I do it a lot, and I gotta work on that. Also: nothing is hotter than a man who is emotionally mature and supportive, imo.
@@JohnStockton7459 I don't find wealth or fame attractive in itself. Wealth often equals way too busy or disconnected from the world (maybe not always, but that's how it looks from my eyes). As for fame, I'd rather not be seen by millions of strangers for being so-and-so's gf or ex. I like my privacy. So, to each their own, but it's not a universal opinion. Hence the "imo" in my post. I can't speak for all women, my post is from my perspective.
I'm pushing 29 this spring, but I don't think My younger self would have listened you with this mindset I have built up recently. All it took was a harsh break-up and I needed to value life a little better. I started working out finally in My life, I have been obese for the better part of 13 years and at My highest peak at the moment. I still consider myself "young" and best of all, motivated. Left my shitty Job and applied for school, got to school at the start of this year, hitting the gym and focusing better on what shit I'm stuffing through my mouth. I randomly saw one of your experimental videos with public anxiety, wich I can't relate to, but ever since have been watching you and listened to all the pods? I love you Mark and I thank you for all the inspiring words that you share and you give a nice grasp on life, of how to lack a little shit to give. Thank you ❤
Life's hard man, but we owe it to ourselves and the people around us to do the best we can. I don't know you, but I'm glad you are making positive changes.
Keep it up man, one day fulfilment will be a past time for all of us. When you go to gym look to your left, look to your right and see that we all came from a nest. Spread your wings and fly.
I like opinion I just heard, Jaroslav Dušek (not in english) said he is inspired by various books and techniques, useful ideas. He said our biggest mistake as humans is that we separate people in two groups good person, bad person..... In past they had better approach, because in ancient times they learned another approach in some healthier civilisations. They separated people in two groups "mature" and yet "immature"....or unexperienced. which means they know the person will get mature in the future learning new things, and that at some point they will self-reflect and experiment with various ideas and learn new experiences. They were not so judgmental putting the guy in category "bad guy" or "bad woman" but immature man, immature woman.... It wasn´t such harsh approach toward them it was meant well I think you are yet immature, but its not a form of judgment... You will grow as does everybody in community....... He said: Attention is greatest form of manipualtion.... You say this is good guy, this is bad guy...to attract attention from people etc It seems to me today men are told to not experiment with ideas, someone want´s men to stay in the same mindset, and never grow, never change, never learn new ideas, and men shouldn´t allow others to tell them how to think and not upgrade their mindset in positive way or not read philosophical books etc. Or learn something about emotional state of mind... Because companies may easily manipulate immature guy, but he isn´t immature because he chose to be immature, but because someone is manipulating him. Maybe the companies and capitalism profit from people´s weakness so they want to brainwash them to never grow.
Thank you, Mark❤ I'm a 54 year-old mother of a 29-year old son who goes through a bit of rough pach of his life, I see this fantastic summary of advise that I couldn't put together by myself! I just sent this message to my son. First, you helped me with your book years ago and now defnitely my son... you are f-ing awesome😎 Thank you again, Mark!❤
I've seen a lot of these videos. This one is by far one of the most helpful, concise and realistic. Thanks Mark and to anyone reading this, I BELIEVE IN YOU, have a fantastic day.
Love the message, Mark. As a child-free woman, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat. I have to prove my value as I've chosen to forgo an expectation of my gender. More men, young and old, need to hear words of support that will guide them to be better rounded people and not just chase the clout.
Interesting! I am in my 30s and Child free by choice, and have never felt this way. I am wondering if it’s because I have chosen to not have Vs haven’t had the opportunity and always wanted them? It could be other factors as well. I find your comment very interesting how there can be a completely opposite experience internally to a similar outcome.
Practically, when a man has somebody to care about and knows that this very person cares about him too, not even in exchange for his care, but just acknowledges and supports him anytime and anyhow, always differently It does make a huge difference and gives a sense of purpose for a man It is sort of coming, probably, from the old times when people were hunting and exchanging each other, for example, mother was collecting shrooms and berries, while father was hunting and bringing meat, combining was nice, or when someone got sick and other person took care of the sick one Just considering how in recent world more and more men struggle to even approach somebody, clearly they don’t have that feeling of a purpose, even if it isn’t their purpose to make a family or smth like that Like, getting rich, fit and healthy isn’t quite the purposes of whole lives Like, you subconsciously ask yourself, if, “when I achieve those, for what or for who? Was it even needed, if nobody gives two damns about me in this world?” So yeah, every man needs a supportive person, At least one, with which I agree with you
@@MNP208 no, but I am Christian. I just never felt a longing to have any. During my marriage I thought if they happened they happened, but we definitely weren’t trying for them. I have never regretted it. I like going on vacations and having lots of free time to spend doing things with my partner.
I feel the same now that my son is grown and has his own life. I find myself in a lot of videos geared towards young men figuring their lives out and like I am going through this whole thing now that other people went through in their 20's. It's taken a few years to "find myself" and create a new sense of worth now that I am not living for the purpose of a child.
lol I burst into tears at "just try". It definitely sometimes feels like trying is nowhere near enough, this is a nice reminder that trying is all you really can do. I love Ted Roosevelet's idea of the man in the arena. Thanks for this, and many other lessons Mark. Will be returning to this one periodically.
Great video and solid advice, but the environment you live in is also an important factor. Most young people aren't valued by older folk so how can they value themselves? A big percentage of families nowadays are broken and have ruined the younger generations. The dating landscape is absolutely horrible. The social life is non existent for many. Basically the older generations, women, even our own generations none value us so how can we value ourselves? We have given up like a gazelle among lions, cause if we try to do anything we will get cut down and it is better to just be quiet doing our minimum pay job with a high rent apartment box and distract ourselves with entertainment. We saw the generation that is above 30 now do try and fail many times and they are miserable, in dept, lost their companies and jobs, divorced, ruined their kids, drug addicts, absolute mess, so why should we try is that's the result? We were told to work hard cause that will give us good jobs what will give us good life but we worked hard and got nothing, even worse than nothing, we lost ourselves and our future with it - in terms of our psychological and physical health. In the end everyone will be fucked cause of the society's flawed ideologies.
Dude what💀 go outside. If you stopped only living online and had a social life you would probably realise the world isn’t fucked like everyone says on the internet.
@@BananaSoupProjects 99% of your thoughts aren't true, life can surprise you in many ways and all you can do is try man. I hope you have a good day and good things come your way and feel like you need to vent this to someone, they are valid thoughts just won't help you succeed (I know this as they stopped me trying for years). All the best man
As a 25 years old guy, i love your message! I am always on the "improve" path, go to the universiy, have a good paid job, workout alot, eat healty, en try to be better with woman. But sometimes i dont know more where i live for. Your videos helps me alot with my journey, and it confirmed me tht i am on the good way. Thank you for sharing this
It’s true, sure my husband was cute, well groomed and wore clean well cared for clothes but the fact that he was polite, quietly confident as a straight A engineering student and physically fit was even more attractive. He believed he could learn how to do anything with commitment and practice. He always got his work done before he played. When I was with him I knew I was safe, valued and respected. I confidently married him and thru 24 yrs of sacrifice and struggle we remain in a strong and delightful relationship today. All I can say is communication and our prioritizing our relationship over everything in life has been our key to success but I know I married the right man. Because he was a man who shouldered manhood easily without any bravado. A quiet man who kept his body fit, lived morally clean but who could become dangerous in an instant to defend his family if needed. Learning gives you skills, skills give you confidence. This is excellent advice.
Thanks Mark, 23 myself. Was going to skip the ad but something told me don't. I am a master in self sabotage right now. Therapy has been something on my mind. Again,I am grateful for your contant. Grateful for finally pushing me over the edge, and thankful for having found you.
Mark u have literally Changed my whole mind and the way I used to think about everything. In the midst of bullshit advices that roams around the internet You'r advice, Opinions are Legit Real life practical things... Thanks for everything.
Dear Mark, I am from India and I want to THANK YOU for saying out point 10 out loud. For me, it was the biggest obstacle I couldn't figure out in 27 years of my life. I was doing every right, health, career etc but I had the major mindset change when I actually started hanging out with people whom I strived to be like. It makes a huge difference! If you'd like to become a doctor, you'd need to hangout with doctors and not monkeys! Thank you again for this valuable video. Worth every second. ❤
Another day trying to be the man that the world needs, Im most definetly not trying hard enough but this no bullshit thing you did helps me because you cut through a lot and go straight to the point, no "ideology" involved, i'll keep on my lane trying to quit all my vices and stop procrastinating, the sun is out today again so let's make something out of it...
Oh god, I wish I had this video when I was 16. I’ve had to figure out a lot in the last 2-3 years, and after looking back at the people I use to be considered worse than just a year ago and am now held in a higher regard comparatively, the work I’ve put in over the last year is just starting to bear fruit. I didn’t cut out, but stopped feeding into the drama loop cycles that a lot of my old friends fell into. I didn’t cut anyone out, but I stopped engaging in the pointless drama cycles and it’s insane how much you can learn about yourself just by choosing to observe the toxicity of others rather than feed the cycle out of boredom.
Why you think so though? Specially when it basically contradicts core things Mark said so far. Not having to prove anything to anyon vs having to prove you are worth it as a man.
I just realised sonething: Depression in men is rising wherever we look. „A woman simply is, a man must become“ is basically saying: men are not worth anything just being themselves, the only worth they have is what they can do for others. Women can just be themselves and are enough. Men apparently always have to do something, provide something, achieve something. And the second you are not doing this anymore, you‘re worthless. This reality is not only immensly unfair but depressing as hell. And we wonder wonder why men are depressed…
I feel lucky. I’m 20 rn and related to many things Mark has said. I’m already knowledgeable of half of the things he is talking about. I think he forgot to mention for the young people who don’t smoke to never start smoking… Anyway. I feel very lucky to have a supposedly long path ahead of myself, especially that I am studying something related to technology. I rarely workout but I have a decent body for a 6’1. Until present I still didn’t find any girls I’m attracted to… Thank God
1. Defining your usefulness 1. Build your value 2. Becoming a net positive to the society 2. Dating 1. If you have your shit together and look okay you're gonna be fine 2. Ultimately, the best dating advice is self improvement 3. Choose wisely 3. Patience 1. Almost all things valuable compound over a long period of time 1. Wealth 2. Knowledge 3. Strength 4. Self awareness 5. Emotional maturity 6. Family 4. Education 1. We don't stop learning after school 2. Learn the things they didn't teach you in school 1. Relating to ppl 2. Being dependable and trustworthy 3. Listen well 4. Taking risks 5. How to communicate your thoughts and feelings properly 6. How to stomach rejection 7. How to manage your emotions 8. How to admit when you're wrong 3. Deal with your emotional and mental health issues NOW 5. Explorations, Not achievements 1. Don't think of life as a series of achievements, but as explorations 2. This helps you to pursue experiences without getting your ego and identity entangled up in them. 6. Earning respect 1. If you have to say that you're something, then you are not that thing. 2. If you have to demand respect, then you do not deserve respect. 3. Give respect unconditionally. That's the only way to earn respect. 7. Managing emotions 1. Don't be afraid of your emotions. State them bluntly. 2. But don't let them dictate your life. They're merely suggestions 8. Stay on the course 1. I didn't really understand this part 9. Self mastery 1. Become an expert of your own mind 2. Learn what 1. Motivates you 2. Scares you 3. Tempts you 4. vices derail you 3. Test and build systems for yourself 10. Choosing your friends 1. Complaining and talking shit is how weak people relate to each other. Stop doing both. 2. You're the average of the 5 ppl you surround yourself with 3. Take a long hard look of whom you're choosing 11. Just try. 1. There's more freedom and opportunity than any other time in history. 2. Just fucking try, and you're already ahead 3. Push yourself. Build value. Share it with others. Rinse and repeat. 4. Start compounding value now, reap the rewards down the line. 5. Never interrupt your compounding unnecessarily. 6. When you do get there, there won't be a celebratory moment. You won't even know you're there. 7. Once you're there, you won't need any congratulations. You'll be fulfilled all on your own.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 *🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society.* 00:58 *💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts your endeavors and happiness.* 02:25 *💡 Value compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gains.* 03:51 *📚 Continued education beyond school is crucial for personal development, focusing on practical life skills.* 04:47 *🛋️ Prioritize emotional well-being and consider therapy as part of self-discovery and growth.* 05:43 *🌱 View life as explorations rather than achievements to avoid ego-driven pursuits.* 06:10 *👥 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others.* 07:41 *💪 Understand your mind, motivations, and habits to create effective systems for personal growth.* 08:41 *🔄 Play the long game, focus on compounding value within yourself, and be patient for rewards.* Made with HARPA AI
Enough no more motivational videos no more self help videos no more look maxing videos i need to get my life on tracks now there are distraction every where no more phone i'll spend time with my family instead i will listen to BHAGAWAT GEETA audio book i instead thankyou so much mark for making this video ever single word you just said in this video made a huge impact on me i am 18 years old i love your videos and i often watch them but yet i end up scrolling from now i will stop scrolling in internet i hope this fire that i am feeling right now will stay forever
I'm 22, I really appreciate this being available for free. Genuine people sharing learned knowledge and experiences are some of the greatest outcomes of the connectedness we see in the world today. Your advice is effective because it doesn't feel like "new" information necessarily, it feels like something that has been patiently waiting for me to give my acceptance and attention to for all my life. Sincerely, Nathan
"Weak men try to convince the world they are not weak. Strong men try to convince the world of nothing." Why is that ? Can't I just enjoy my 1 day of triumph that I achieved my goal and show that I am human in everything ? You may think my pride hit the top, and that's the reason that I wrote 1 day of triumph since I'll easily forget about it and move along.
I am 31 and I agree with practically everything, just one thing that I would like to add: For the advice 3 (Patience) I dont think what you cited is necessarilly bad (speccially travelling) but if their doses starts to harming yours long term goals, then it is bad
Great wisdom. Wish you had talked about overstimulation. The cycle can steal years from you. Try being bored and you might raise your curiosity, which makes you try and explore stuff
Boundries are the only way. You have to impose restrictions on yourself by limiting your consumption of content; youtube, spcial media, tv, games, busy work, etc. You have to purposely induce boredom. Sit with yourself and meditate. Go for a walk without music or podcast. Emptiness. Go for a relaxing drive with the radio off. Don't pick up your phone when you're waiting in line at the pharmacy or when you're on the toilet. Sit on your bed with a pen and paper. Write anything thag comes to mind. Make any of these a part of every day to some degree. Your creativity will begin to blossom, you'll start having important epiphanies about what to do with your life, etc.
Start using the tool Screen Time. Then just act like normal for a week and see what your average screen time was. Then set a realistic goal for next week, let's say 30 minutes lower average than the week before. Do this until you are below 3hr per day@@DatNerdyKidd
@@DatNerdyKidd That's a fantastic idea! How did it go? To reduce it: 1) reflect these three questions: - What do you use to stimulate yourself? - How does it feel like, to be overstimulated? - How do you feel, while trying to fall asleep at the end of an overstimulated day? (only useful, if you fall asleep without distracting devices) [ in my case: - activities that lead to overstimulation are videogames, candy, masturbation, shortform content, drugs, music & random videos - low motivation, low energy, no satisfaction, day flew by, feeling apathetic/don't care about the fact that I overstimulate, don't want to stop stimulation, don't want to face all the tasks that I put off till tomorrow. - I typically fall asleep ~5-6 hours later than usual, mostly due to exhaustion, not because I want to stop. While trying to fall asleep, I feel ashamed and useless. If I distract myself with videos until I fall asleep, I don't have to deal with these thoughts :) ] 2) change your environment Your environment influences your actions. You know, what you use for stimulation. What could you do to force limits? (I uninstalled steam, don't bring junk food home, only unlock my phone after inwardly stating my intention & avoid a certain spot on my couch) 3) accept that it's f*cking annoying. I wish this was the path of least resistance, but it's a battle against a seductive enemy that gives you believable, yet empty promises. It does get easier with repetition, but yeah... sorry to tell you. Let me know if you find an easy way though :D Best of luck broski. Wish you success.
I still remember when you had your blog some 10 years ago or so and you offered some advice about relationship issues I was having. God you've come a long way, I'm so glad to see you up there.
We have two lives, the second only begins when we realize that we have but one. Amazing video, definitely gonna rewatch this periodically to wake tf up
Thank you Mark❤ Thank you for really helping me not hate myself. You’re right, here I am not even thinking about how far I’ve come. The compounding I’ve been doing over these 38 years next week. I’m proud of who I am, and didn’t realize it until the end of this video. Between your books and this channel, you are that dude my brotha, Thanks again ❤
This video could not have come at a better time. I'm 26 years old and I am going to graduate next month with a B.S. in Computer Science. I feel like I am finally closing a big chapter of my life and I have been having an existential crisis, not to mention my girlfriend and I just broke up. Thank you, Mark.
I’m 20 years old. I finished college last summer and was very excited about the future ahead of me. However, I got submerged into void of doubts and self-destruction (thinking about negative things and moments I’ve experienced throughout my life). I got depressed, A LOT. Now, I started educating myself, going to the gym, stopped smoking. I still have so much to learn about this wonderful world before I leave it. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t give up! NEVER GIVE UP! All of the problems are temporary and you can overcome them with a huge smile on your face. Be proud that you’re able to read this because there’s lots of people who can’t even kill themselves due to their disabilities. Time flies by and so do we, it’s just a small moment of history we live in, and yet it’s our whole life, so let’s just be happy and grateful for what we have! Love you all. Please, take care of yourselves, comrades!
So many people in men’s help have varying degrees of sexism and misogyny, it’s so refreshing to find someone who will tell us what we need to know without all the negativity that so often comes with it. Thank you for sharing your wise words, I’m going through a rough breakup/career transition right now, and it means especially a lot to me right now.
In another video a guy commented about his 150 lb friend with a junkyard car and very little money that didnt have any trouble with finding women to have a romantic relationship with. Thats because his self confidence are huge and nothing else.
Are you absolutely sure there was nothing else oversized? Sorry, couldn't resist 😅 But seriously, that friend sounds just like me...except the huge confidence/no trouble finding women bit. Mind you I'm gay, so perhaps not entirely surprising...the latter, obviously...the former less so and a mix of causes...but let's just say some nature, some nurture 😐
1. Build value within yourself that is the best dating advice 2. Find a person who can be your life partner 3. Almost all things that are valuable in a man compound slowly 4. Education is the primary project for life 5. Life is exploration - explore your potential of health, money and sex 6. Earn respect from people by bringing value 7. Manage emotions never let them dictate your life for you 8. Stay the course 9. Learn what motivates you learn what derails you, achieve self mastery 10. You are the average of five people you surround with 11. Fucking try push yourself build value and share with others It's time to get started!
As a 16 year old, being patient is actually the hardest thing to do but I'm trying upd: as one of the replies adviced I started to meditate and it really helps. If you're struggling with the same thing you should try doing it
Thanks for this Mark. Good advice for older men like myself too. 1. To feel better about how long it took to get here 2. To realize the work continues and 3. To crystallize the idea in such a simple digestible format I will be able to pass on to my son when he is ready to hear it.
As an old guy, who has managed to learn to be pretty happy and to create a good life, I officially endorse this video. You rock, Mark Manson - thank you for sharing your wisdom!
7:38 Not trying to excuse this behavior, but perhaps the reason why some men end up letting it out on their peers is because they tried therapy and not only was it too expensive for them, but they subconciously discovered how anti-male therapy is and how it does more harm than good for men. It's not necessarily that they see their peers as therapists, but moreso that they have nowhere else to go and talk about their feelings.
Complaining about the environment to the people you share it with is completely natural. People just want them to see things from their perspective. Nothing wrong with it. Also complaining about people who cause problems is totally justified.
i appreciate you a lot mark. out of all "motivational" content creators you definitely seem the most genuine and that is an accomplishment in that genre.
Man, I love this. I’ve been following you for a couple of years but this is the best video ever. Everything a man needs to know, packed into 10 minutes. The world is so much better place with you, Mark! And yeah the new editing / storytelling style rules, one feels.. somehow connected.
Thank you so much Mark ! Your life advice Should be mandatory in school !!! I learnt to forgive myself and being vulnerable is ok I learnt so much about myself
Mark, thank you for this video. I'm 16 years old, i'm going to my purposes:enter the uni, write a book about afganian war. Get a good girlfriend. Yeah, it's hard, but i'm not focus on mind barriers. So, i think, i'll reach this goals, and you Mark, the best!!
i m turning 14, and i know that i m a baby, blablabla. i m kinda struggling as of now, on the other end i m so excited to get "set up" by the age of 16/17 and just live... with what your videos and message(s) helped me a lot. same can i say for music. all your advice i find helpful. not like the others self-improvement youtubers. much love ❤
Hey dude, I'm 18 currently and I'm sure my 14yo me would be proud of me rn. However, don't wait for life to happen. You're not gonna be a diffrent person once you are 16/17. You'll be surprised, you're gonna be the exact same person. So take action, do what makes you happy, try out new things, experience life!
maybe i didn't explain it very well, by "get set up" i meant like do stuff now, so later on i wont have troubles in the most basic stuff like: communication. looks, skills, etc.
You know, usually, videos of this title, kind of bring the "Ah nevermind, another one of these nonsense stuff" in me. But honestly, your ideas are just so right; I am happy I can shut that urge of skipping to the next video down and watch them completely. Thank you for sharing your life experiences. These are the real deal! Other peoples life experiences, of course after your own life experiences, are the most worthy things to receive and ponder about in my opinion.
11. really is an important one and it really resonated with me; I'm far from having done everything right and dandy thats on this list, but over the last years, I've more and more pushed myself to take risks, to make plans and follow them, to do shit that seems undoable at first... be it a big travel to that exotic country you've always dreamed of, be it composing own music, be it whatever - the motto I've followed has been _'If you try, there is a chance you succeed, if you don't, there is certainty that you don't succeed, you have already lost'_
I’ve watched a lot of ahit on UA-cam. I’ve read a lot of shit in books and everywhere else. Mark is still one of my most favorite straight forward person doing it. Thank you Mark. Please keep up the fantastic work.
I don't know. It seems to me that this is more of a trend what you are talking about. Go to the gym, be a "high value man". What if you do these and still are confused what your real priorities should be.. and the more you look at how to improve yourself the more stressful it becomes. Why just go to the gym? Why not find a personal trainer and train 3-4 hours a day? Why not work smart and hard 10-16 hours a day? And of course you need 7-8 hours at least of sleep. How do you manage all of that and still have time? I understand that self-improvement is key but where do you draw the line? This contradicts "not giving a f" in many ways too.. idk..
On the last point you just reminded me… I can’t remember the last time I drank to excess, or felt guilty about the amount I drank. I just finally moved on from that being part of my life. Without fanfare. And that feels kind of awesome.
Hi Mark, I just wantied to say you have honestly changed my life for better. Before my ex cheated on me and I developed very low self esteem. Before I had social anxiety then I found a way to embrace it and realise I'm not the problem. After my gf cheated on me it all came back. Why I am so insecure? I messed up the simplest things all the time? Nobody likes me and never will. I started to get into self improvement with watching many self improvement youtubers. You especially stuck out as it wasn't no bs course to sign up to or telling you the same things that every self improvement youtuber tells you to do. Your straight to the point and tell us simple but effective ways of being a better individual. I read your models book and it really took my perspective of dating differently. I become more vulnerable and open with people to build deeper connections without being needy. I realised previously with my ex I was really needy and always looking for approval, so no wonder why she did cheat on me but I am thankful for that experience as without it, I would never of learnt of not being needy. Thank you mark and keep doing what your doing, your fucking awesome.
Hi Lewis! I'm happy for you that you're finding a path that serves you well. You're probably going to find my comment irritating and you're right. Your comment went very well until the end and you're possibly thinking "wtf old boomer dude"? Well, you're right, boomers can be a bit too detail oriented, but you're probably trying to get a good job from one of us. Plus, you're trying to show your skills to the ladies and you're not quite there yet, but you're close. You're possibly thinking I should just mind my own business and you're right. You're on your way Lewis! I wish you prosperity in all you're doing!
@@LifeTheUniverseAndEverything42 Honestly thank you so much for this comment. I know I'm not perfect and nobody is, I still sometimes get anxious talking to people (including girls) but it's practice and failing, practice and failing. Plus when I'm anxious I have to tell myself it's good as it's something I need to work on. Honestly I'd rather listen to someone who knows what there on about, than someone who acts like they do like many people do these days XD.
Well, mate, Very nice knowing that this did help you and the funniest thing about all of this self improvement stuff is that all of the UA-camrs, who talk about it, they in most cases try to make you feel better, try to “oh yeah, that is true man”, but they aren’t really telling you to do something, which is why a lot of people are couch potatoes, even though they are watching all that stuff, which is basically staying in comfort zone and being afraid of making mistakes, most people thing that self improvement is all about perfecting themselves as best as they could, but no, it means just about the opposite It means consciously trying something by yourself, especially if you don’t like that very something and clearly making lots of mistakes, but with that comes the experience nobody could give you or tell you, because only you with your unique 1 out of all 8+ billion people living, one unique consciousness could experience So it is okay to be anxious while contacting with people as you mentioned you have sometimes, it’ll be gone as you do it and your brain gets used to it Keep pushing, mate!
@@Lewishelps512 Thank You and You're Welcome. I can see by your thought process that you are getting things figured out and that's great! I have been down a similar road and it's not always fun. I used to train people how to use a photocopy machine and told them when the machine didn't do what they wanted it to do "you learn more from things going wrong than from going right, because your frustration will help you to remember the solution" So, the machine didn't do what you want? Try a different way and no, I'm not going to tell you the solution, because when you figure it out, you will be more likely to remember your thought process than me just telling you. But I think you are doing the work to make your life successful and enjoyable, so good on ya dude! (Just try to avoid kicking the machine... your foot will break before the machine does what you want it to) {grin} {And you do now know the difference between "your" and "you're", right?} {Bigger grin}
please dont get me wrong guys. just seek advice from people elder to you, like those people whom the internet refers to as boomer. in my life, they have given the best advice despite being boomers on social media. It might differ in othes cases, but do try it out!
I don’t know if I’m being impatient. I’m 19 living with my parents and I’m trying to start an online business. I’m constantly working out making meal preps, working on my business for 3 hours a day, and not working as many hours as I could at my jobs if I weren’t working on my business. My goal is to be financially independent by 21, and then financially free by around 28. Part of me feels like I’m going too fast in life. I want to get ahead so bad but I don’t know if I should just be saving up as much as I can now instead of investing in a business. But I know I wanna be an entrepreneur and help people. So even if I fail this will give me experience. I don’t know, maybe I’m impatient. This has been on my mind but I don’t let it stop me from trying.
Love the pro therapy message. Be careful to find the right fit. BetterHelp is a great start but the first therapist is rarely the right therapist. Don't be afraid to switch if you feel stuck; I know finding a local psychologist greatly helped me.
As a woman who doesn’t have, or ever will have kids, I find myself constantly struggling with the first point you made. I don’t know if women particularly like that their “inherent value” is being able to have kids, instead of something they actually worked for or achieved, but it is something men can’t do, that’s just a fact. Also a lot of women do want it and I think that’s wonderful! But if it’s not in the cards for you, then what? And if it’s not something that calls you, then what’s your value? I never really saw it from this perspective before. It’s interesting to think about it 🤔 but only for like… a second (or however long it took me to write this).
You work for 40yrs to have $1m in your retirement, Meanwhile some people are putting just $10k in a meme coin for just few months and now they are multi millionaires. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life
Trading without professional guide... Huh I laugh you, because you will remain where you are or even make huge losses that will stop you from trading, this has been one of the biggest problem to new traders
It's a miracle and I would testify, 110K bucks every 4weeks! I now have a big mansion and can now afford anything and also support God's work and the church.
I usually hate BS self-help and "life coach" landscape, but you are the one exception, thx Mark
Probably because he's not promoting a quick fix
@@TheKrispyfortidk better help is no Beuno
@@TheKrispyfortthat's also what I thought but I still don't think that this is enough to change someone because they easily obtain these very important informations without any consequences or they simply cannot relate to what is being said. Sorry for the absolute trash grammar I'm still learning English.
@@asdsafddfshgosas2662 Your grammar is fine. No worries. Your punctuation needs some practice. Again, not a big deal on UA-cam.
yeah its always refreshing to hear what BS Mark has to say
Thank you for including "just try damn it", i spent 13 years trying to become an engineer and it's finally happening. I graduate this summer and start work. I was told I would never make it in the military. I served in the Army for 8 years and that's how i funded my education. Seriously people, just try. You're a lot stronger and smarter than a lot of bad people want you to realize.
Was the Just try part also for the talking to women part? Also I'm confused about what he means? Like I don't want sex but he is saying to just approach women and state something? ...I'd assume you have to talk about other things first...have social skills and introduce myself? All this before just blurring out something about jeez I don't even know what he wants u to say. That I find u beautiful and would love to ___? Idk...he over estimates how little I know... I was forced to be a late bloomer so I need a little more help then the average Joe figuring this part out. Any help?
@@bentravis777You’re overcomplicating it. Just try talking to a woman. That’s it. It will either go bad or good or neither. Just try and you are already ahead of where you were before.
Congratulations
Congrats man! I've tried for 6 years at this moment and I'm working as a phone agent to fund my education, I hate my work, but I hope it gives some results.
@@josephvids1 Interesting I was thinking the exact same thing before I read you're comment while reading his.
I discovered you at 19 and started to binge your books and online content. Now I'm 26. Got my education in check, got a relationship with the most wonderful woman that I couldn't even imagined back then, immensely grew my confidence and emotional maturity and managed to untangle all the emotional baggage and mental health problems that I had. You were and are a big help in that journey. Thanks Mark.
00:00 🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society.
00:58 💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts all aspects of your life.
02:52 🕰 Value in a man compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gratification.
03:51 💡 Continuously educate yourself beyond formal schooling, focusing on life skills and emotional health.
06:10 🚫 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others.
07:41 🔄 Build self-awareness by understanding your motivations, fears, and behavioral patterns.
08:12 💪 Seize the opportunities and freedoms available today by taking action and continually pushing yourself to grow.
Thank you❤
As a woman, I found this video useful to understand men a little better. I also learned some stuff for myself. Like, yeah. I do complain too much. It's how I process things, but I realize I do it a lot, and I gotta work on that.
Also: nothing is hotter than a man who is emotionally mature and supportive, imo.
@CrystyleDragon And very few things are.hotter than a woman who doesn’t complain and knows the value of taking responsibility and accountability.
I hope Mark does similar content for women too.
-taking notes-
fk that I'll be on self improvement.
Plenty of emotionally mature men are not attractive to women.
In reality, nothing is hotter than being a billionaire or famous.
@@JohnStockton7459 I don't find wealth or fame attractive in itself. Wealth often equals way too busy or disconnected from the world (maybe not always, but that's how it looks from my eyes). As for fame, I'd rather not be seen by millions of strangers for being so-and-so's gf or ex. I like my privacy.
So, to each their own, but it's not a universal opinion. Hence the "imo" in my post. I can't speak for all women, my post is from my perspective.
I'm pushing 29 this spring, but I don't think My younger self would have listened you with this mindset I have built up recently. All it took was a harsh break-up and I needed to value life a little better. I started working out finally in My life, I have been obese for the better part of 13 years and at My highest peak at the moment.
I still consider myself "young" and best of all, motivated. Left my shitty Job and applied for school, got to school at the start of this year, hitting the gym and focusing better on what shit I'm stuffing through my mouth.
I randomly saw one of your experimental videos with public anxiety, wich I can't relate to, but ever since have been watching you and listened to all the pods?
I love you Mark and I thank you for all the inspiring words that you share and you give a nice grasp on life, of how to lack a little shit to give.
Thank you ❤
Life's hard man, but we owe it to ourselves and the people around us to do the best we can. I don't know you, but I'm glad you are making positive changes.
You're doing good man! Don't give up and keep believing in yourself ;)
Keep it up man, one day fulfilment will be a past time for all of us. When you go to gym look to your left, look to your right and see that we all came from a nest. Spread your wings and fly.
I like opinion I just heard, Jaroslav Dušek (not in english) said he is inspired by various books and techniques, useful ideas.
He said our biggest mistake as humans is that we separate people in two groups good person, bad person.....
In past they had better approach, because in ancient times they learned another approach in some healthier civilisations.
They separated people in two groups "mature" and yet "immature"....or unexperienced.
which means they know the person will get mature in the future learning new things, and that at some point they will self-reflect and experiment with various ideas
and learn new experiences.
They were not so judgmental putting the guy in category "bad guy" or "bad woman" but immature man, immature woman....
It wasn´t such harsh approach toward them it was meant well I think you are yet immature, but its not a form of judgment...
You will grow as does everybody in community.......
He said: Attention is greatest form of manipualtion....
You say this is good guy, this is bad guy...to attract attention from people etc
It seems to me today men are told to not experiment with ideas, someone want´s men to stay in the same mindset, and never grow, never change, never learn new ideas, and men shouldn´t allow others to tell them how to think and not upgrade their mindset in positive way or not read philosophical books etc.
Or learn something about emotional state of mind...
Because companies may easily manipulate immature guy,
but he isn´t immature because he chose to be immature, but because someone is manipulating him.
Maybe the companies and capitalism profit from people´s weakness so they want to brainwash them to never grow.
I turned 26 in March of this year and I feel like I'm old as hell and I haven't done anything with myself, I tried the military but they rejected me
Thank you, Mark❤ I'm a 54 year-old mother of a 29-year old son who goes through a bit of rough pach of his life, I see this fantastic summary of advise that I couldn't put together by myself! I just sent this message to my son. First, you helped me with your book years ago and now defnitely my son... you are f-ing awesome😎 Thank you again, Mark!❤
I wish that I had access to Mark Manson's work when I was 29.
And that's why fathers are so important for men
@@KD400_ it's not about fathers it's about good environment,,a father wouldn't make much of a difference as much as the environment
@@tfkdandsvkc wrong. A father figure is needed in a childs life
@@tfkdandsvkcno father equals bad environment
I've seen a lot of these videos. This one is by far one of the most helpful, concise and realistic. Thanks Mark and to anyone reading this, I BELIEVE IN YOU, have a fantastic day.
Love the message, Mark. As a child-free woman, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat. I have to prove my value as I've chosen to forgo an expectation of my gender. More men, young and old, need to hear words of support that will guide them to be better rounded people and not just chase the clout.
Interesting! I am in my 30s and Child free by choice, and have never felt this way. I am wondering if it’s because I have chosen to not have
Vs haven’t had the opportunity and always wanted them? It could be other factors as well. I find your comment very interesting how there can be a completely opposite experience internally to a similar outcome.
Practically, when a man has somebody to care about and knows that this very person cares about him too, not even in exchange for his care, but just acknowledges and supports him anytime and anyhow, always differently
It does make a huge difference and gives a sense of purpose for a man
It is sort of coming, probably, from the old times when people were hunting and exchanging each other, for example, mother was collecting shrooms and berries, while father was hunting and bringing meat, combining was nice, or when someone got sick and other person took care of the sick one
Just considering how in recent world more and more men struggle to even approach somebody, clearly they don’t have that feeling of a purpose, even if it isn’t their purpose to make a family or smth like that
Like, getting rich, fit and healthy isn’t quite the purposes of whole lives
Like, you subconsciously ask yourself, if, “when I achieve those, for what or for who? Was it even needed, if nobody gives two damns about me in this world?”
So yeah, every man needs a supportive person,
At least one, with which I agree with you
@@Chanel31113were you raised in a religion? That is huge for a woman who doesn’t want children.
@@MNP208 no, but I am Christian. I just never felt a longing to have any. During my marriage I thought if they happened they happened, but we definitely weren’t trying for them. I have never regretted it. I like going on vacations and having lots of free time to spend doing things with my partner.
I feel the same now that my son is grown and has his own life. I find myself in a lot of videos geared towards young men figuring their lives out and like I am going through this whole thing now that other people went through in their 20's. It's taken a few years to "find myself" and create a new sense of worth now that I am not living for the purpose of a child.
What I absolutely loved about this video is how well it relates to young women as well. Really high-value content.
lol I burst into tears at "just try". It definitely sometimes feels like trying is nowhere near enough, this is a nice reminder that trying is all you really can do. I love Ted Roosevelet's idea of the man in the arena. Thanks for this, and many other lessons Mark. Will be returning to this one periodically.
You nailed it!
He saved almost every young men from scrolling hundreds of improvement video by just 10 minutes. Truly legend.
Great video and solid advice, but the environment you live in is also an important factor. Most young people aren't valued by older folk so how can they value themselves? A big percentage of families nowadays are broken and have ruined the younger generations. The dating landscape is absolutely horrible. The social life is non existent for many. Basically the older generations, women, even our own generations none value us so how can we value ourselves? We have given up like a gazelle among lions, cause if we try to do anything we will get cut down and it is better to just be quiet doing our minimum pay job with a high rent apartment box and distract ourselves with entertainment. We saw the generation that is above 30 now do try and fail many times and they are miserable, in dept, lost their companies and jobs, divorced, ruined their kids, drug addicts, absolute mess, so why should we try is that's the result? We were told to work hard cause that will give us good jobs what will give us good life but we worked hard and got nothing, even worse than nothing, we lost ourselves and our future with it - in terms of our psychological and physical health. In the end everyone will be fucked cause of the society's flawed ideologies.
Except he looks like a doomer
Dude what💀 go outside. If you stopped only living online and had a social life you would probably realise the world isn’t fucked like everyone says on the internet.
@@BananaSoupProjects 99% of your thoughts aren't true, life can surprise you in many ways and all you can do is try man. I hope you have a good day and good things come your way and feel like you need to vent this to someone, they are valid thoughts just won't help you succeed (I know this as they stopped me trying for years). All the best man
As a 25 years old guy, i love your message! I am always on the "improve" path, go to the universiy, have a good paid job, workout alot, eat healty, en try to be better with woman. But sometimes i dont know more where i live for. Your videos helps me alot with my journey, and it confirmed me tht i am on the good way. Thank you for sharing this
Ur a wage slave. Leave ur job. Start a business
It’s true, sure my husband was cute, well groomed and wore clean well cared for clothes but the fact that he was polite, quietly confident as a straight A engineering student and physically fit was even more attractive. He believed he could learn how to do anything with commitment and practice. He always got his work done before he played. When I was with him I knew I was safe, valued and respected. I confidently married him and thru 24 yrs of sacrifice and struggle we remain in a strong and delightful relationship today. All I can say is communication and our prioritizing our relationship over everything in life has been our key to success but I know I married the right man. Because he was a man who shouldered manhood easily without any bravado. A quiet man who kept his body fit, lived morally clean but who could become dangerous in an instant to defend his family if needed. Learning gives you skills, skills give you confidence. This is excellent advice.
Thanks Mark, 23 myself. Was going to skip the ad but something told me don't. I am a master in self sabotage right now. Therapy has been something on my mind. Again,I am grateful for your contant. Grateful for finally pushing me over the edge, and thankful for having found you.
Love “the new editing style” on this one. You guys killed it
Right! I agree 👍
Cringing at your past self is the best way to know you've grown up. Thank you for reminding me this with your last few lines!
Intro: 1 - 20 secs
0:21 defining your usefulness
1:18 dating
2:24 patience
3:28 education
4:19 ad
5:22 exploration, not achievements
5:55 earning respect
6:27 managing emotions
6:50 stay course
7:10 self mastery
7:37 choosing your friends
7:57 just try
Regularly watching your content is one of the most uplifting parts of my day. Thank you, Mark! ❤
Mark u have literally Changed my whole mind and the way I used to think about everything. In the midst of bullshit advices that roams around the internet You'r advice, Opinions are Legit Real life practical things...
Thanks for everything.
Dear Mark, I am from India and I want to THANK YOU for saying out point 10 out loud. For me, it was the biggest obstacle I couldn't figure out in 27 years of my life. I was doing every right, health, career etc but I had the major mindset change when I actually started hanging out with people whom I strived to be like. It makes a huge difference! If you'd like to become a doctor, you'd need to hangout with doctors and not monkeys! Thank you again for this valuable video. Worth every second. ❤
Another day trying to be the man that the world needs, Im most definetly not trying hard enough but this no bullshit thing you did helps me because you cut through a lot and go straight to the point, no "ideology" involved, i'll keep on my lane trying to quit all my vices and stop procrastinating, the sun is out today again so let's make something out of it...
Oh god, I wish I had this video when I was 16. I’ve had to figure out a lot in the last 2-3 years, and after looking back at the people I use to be considered worse than just a year ago and am now held in a higher regard comparatively, the work I’ve put in over the last year is just starting to bear fruit. I didn’t cut out, but stopped feeding into the drama loop cycles that a lot of my old friends fell into. I didn’t cut anyone out, but I stopped engaging in the pointless drama cycles and it’s insane how much you can learn about yourself just by choosing to observe the toxicity of others rather than feed the cycle out of boredom.
Probably your best video to date, Mark. Great work, great words brother.
Why you think so though? Specially when it basically contradicts core things Mark said so far. Not having to prove anything to anyon vs having to prove you are worth it as a man.
My life has changed since I started watching your channel .
Thank you mark💯
One true dude that helped me in every facet of my life. Started looking at your stuff at 23. 27 now and content with my life. Thank you ❤️
Grateful to found you mark! ❤️🙏🏻
I just realised sonething: Depression in men is rising wherever we look. „A woman simply is, a man must become“ is basically saying: men are not worth anything just being themselves, the only worth they have is what they can do for others. Women can just be themselves and are enough. Men apparently always have to do something, provide something, achieve something. And the second you are not doing this anymore, you‘re worthless. This reality is not only immensly unfair but depressing as hell. And we wonder wonder why men are depressed…
I love the dating device. Straight to the point, no filler, no bs.
inventing a dating device for dating
I think this is your best video among great videos. At 68 everything rings completely true of a life well lived
I’m 67 and he nailed it!
I feel lucky. I’m 20 rn and related to many things Mark has said. I’m already knowledgeable of half of the things he is talking about. I think he forgot to mention for the young people who don’t smoke to never start smoking… Anyway. I feel very lucky to have a supposedly long path ahead of myself, especially that I am studying something related to technology.
I rarely workout but I have a decent body for a 6’1. Until present I still didn’t find any girls I’m attracted to…
Thank God
Why are u so good. Ur videos come exactly at the correct time.
1. Defining your usefulness
1. Build your value
2. Becoming a net positive to the society
2. Dating
1. If you have your shit together and look okay you're gonna be fine
2. Ultimately, the best dating advice is self improvement
3. Choose wisely
3. Patience
1. Almost all things valuable compound over a long period of time
1. Wealth
2. Knowledge
3. Strength
4. Self awareness
5. Emotional maturity
6. Family
4. Education
1. We don't stop learning after school
2. Learn the things they didn't teach you in school
1. Relating to ppl
2. Being dependable and trustworthy
3. Listen well
4. Taking risks
5. How to communicate your thoughts and feelings properly
6. How to stomach rejection
7. How to manage your emotions
8. How to admit when you're wrong
3. Deal with your emotional and mental health issues NOW
5. Explorations, Not achievements
1. Don't think of life as a series of achievements, but as explorations
2. This helps you to pursue experiences without getting your ego and identity entangled up in them.
6. Earning respect
1. If you have to say that you're something, then you are not that thing.
2. If you have to demand respect, then you do not deserve respect.
3. Give respect unconditionally. That's the only way to earn respect.
7. Managing emotions
1. Don't be afraid of your emotions. State them bluntly.
2. But don't let them dictate your life. They're merely suggestions
8. Stay on the course
1. I didn't really understand this part
9. Self mastery
1. Become an expert of your own mind
2. Learn what
1. Motivates you
2. Scares you
3. Tempts you
4. vices derail you
3. Test and build systems for yourself
10. Choosing your friends
1. Complaining and talking shit is how weak people relate to each other. Stop doing both.
2. You're the average of the 5 ppl you surround yourself with
3. Take a long hard look of whom you're choosing
11. Just try.
1. There's more freedom and opportunity than any other time in history.
2. Just fucking try, and you're already ahead
3. Push yourself. Build value. Share it with others. Rinse and repeat.
4. Start compounding value now, reap the rewards down the line.
5. Never interrupt your compounding unnecessarily.
6. When you do get there, there won't be a celebratory moment. You won't even know you're there.
7. Once you're there, you won't need any congratulations. You'll be fulfilled all on your own.
Thx my guy!
As a 14 y/o these videos defo help give me that extra knowledge on my journey. Thanks Mark!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 *🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society.*
00:58 *💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts your endeavors and happiness.*
02:25 *💡 Value compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gains.*
03:51 *📚 Continued education beyond school is crucial for personal development, focusing on practical life skills.*
04:47 *🛋️ Prioritize emotional well-being and consider therapy as part of self-discovery and growth.*
05:43 *🌱 View life as explorations rather than achievements to avoid ego-driven pursuits.*
06:10 *👥 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others.*
07:41 *💪 Understand your mind, motivations, and habits to create effective systems for personal growth.*
08:41 *🔄 Play the long game, focus on compounding value within yourself, and be patient for rewards.*
Made with HARPA AI
Enough no more motivational videos no more self help videos no more look maxing videos i need to get my life on tracks now there are distraction every where no more phone i'll spend time with my family instead i will listen to BHAGAWAT GEETA audio book i instead thankyou so much mark for making this video ever single word you just said in this video made a huge impact on me i am 18 years old i love your videos and i often watch them but yet i end up scrolling from now i will stop scrolling in internet i hope this fire that i am feeling right now will stay forever
Same bhai mai bhi 17 ki umar mei itna mature ho gaya hun
@@ALONE_dm bro i wish you all the best for your future and i hope you'll not get distracted from your ultimate goal
@@Jayy41 strangers on the internet like you are better than real life friends
@@ALONE_dm couldn't agree more bro i've lost all my friends and it's just me and myself
Straight up speaking facts no sugarcoated
Mark you are the father that i never had! Huge fan from brazil!
I'm 22, I really appreciate this being available for free. Genuine people sharing learned knowledge and experiences are some of the greatest outcomes of the connectedness we see in the world today. Your advice is effective because it doesn't feel like "new" information necessarily, it feels like something that has been patiently waiting for me to give my acceptance and attention to for all my life. Sincerely, Nathan
So many men could really use this insight, I found every piece of it genuine and true through my own trials and tribulations.
this is the good shit that everyone needs to hear. way better than all the other "self improvement" people out there. phenomenal job
"Weak men try to convince the world they are not weak. Strong men try to convince the world of nothing."
Why is that ? Can't I just enjoy my 1 day of triumph that I achieved my goal and show that I am human in everything ? You may think my pride hit the top, and that's the reason that I wrote 1 day of triumph since I'll easily forget about it and move along.
I am 31 and I agree with practically everything, just one thing that I would like to add: For the advice 3 (Patience) I dont think what you cited is necessarilly bad (speccially travelling) but if their doses starts to harming yours long term goals, then it is bad
Great wisdom. Wish you had talked about overstimulation. The cycle can steal years from you. Try being bored and you might raise your curiosity, which makes you try and explore stuff
Gimme some advice on how to reduce it please
Boundries are the only way. You have to impose restrictions on yourself by limiting your consumption of content; youtube, spcial media, tv, games, busy work, etc. You have to purposely induce boredom. Sit with yourself and meditate. Go for a walk without music or podcast. Emptiness. Go for a relaxing drive with the radio off. Don't pick up your phone when you're waiting in line at the pharmacy or when you're on the toilet. Sit on your bed with a pen and paper. Write anything thag comes to mind. Make any of these a part of every day to some degree.
Your creativity will begin to blossom, you'll start having important epiphanies about what to do with your life, etc.
@@phillystevesteak6982 I think I'll start with not using my phone while eating. I don't even taste the food at this point.
Start using the tool Screen Time. Then just act like normal for a week and see what your average screen time was. Then set a realistic goal for next week, let's say 30 minutes lower average than the week before. Do this until you are below 3hr per day@@DatNerdyKidd
@@DatNerdyKidd That's a fantastic idea! How did it go?
To reduce it:
1) reflect these three questions:
- What do you use to stimulate yourself?
- How does it feel like, to be overstimulated?
- How do you feel, while trying to fall asleep at the end of an overstimulated day? (only useful, if you fall asleep without distracting devices)
[
in my case:
- activities that lead to overstimulation are videogames, candy, masturbation, shortform content, drugs, music & random videos
- low motivation, low energy, no satisfaction, day flew by, feeling apathetic/don't care about the fact that I overstimulate, don't want to stop stimulation, don't want to face all the tasks that I put off till tomorrow.
- I typically fall asleep ~5-6 hours later than usual, mostly due to exhaustion, not because I want to stop. While trying to fall asleep, I feel ashamed and useless. If I distract myself with videos until I fall asleep, I don't have to deal with these thoughts :)
]
2) change your environment
Your environment influences your actions.
You know, what you use for stimulation. What could you do to force limits? (I uninstalled steam, don't bring junk food home, only unlock my phone after inwardly stating my intention & avoid a certain spot on my couch)
3) accept that it's f*cking annoying. I wish this was the path of least resistance, but it's a battle against a seductive enemy that gives you believable, yet empty promises. It does get easier with repetition, but yeah... sorry to tell you. Let me know if you find an easy way though :D
Best of luck broski. Wish you success.
I still remember when you had your blog some 10 years ago or so and you offered some advice about relationship issues I was having. God you've come a long way, I'm so glad to see you up there.
We have two lives, the second only begins when we realize that we have but one.
Amazing video, definitely gonna rewatch this periodically to wake tf up
Thank you Mark❤
Thank you for really helping me not hate myself. You’re right, here I am not even thinking about how far I’ve come. The compounding I’ve been doing over these 38 years next week. I’m proud of who I am, and didn’t realize it until the end of this video. Between your books and this channel, you are that dude my brotha, Thanks again ❤
Thanks for posting this Mark. It's authentic and was needed. Love you bro. Keep it up
"You're beautiful just as you are. You're worthy just as you are. You have intrinsic value." -- Things That Are Never Said to Boys and Men
This video could not have come at a better time. I'm 26 years old and I am going to graduate next month with a B.S. in Computer Science. I feel like I am finally closing a big chapter of my life and I have been having an existential crisis, not to mention my girlfriend and I just broke up. Thank you, Mark.
You've just started your new journey :)
The "just try it" was more than fabulous. I deeply thank you for this video.
I’m 20 years old. I finished college last summer and was very excited about the future ahead of me. However, I got submerged into void of doubts and self-destruction (thinking about negative things and moments I’ve experienced throughout my life). I got depressed, A LOT. Now, I started educating myself, going to the gym, stopped smoking. I still have so much to learn about this wonderful world before I leave it. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t give up! NEVER GIVE UP! All of the problems are temporary and you can overcome them with a huge smile on your face. Be proud that you’re able to read this because there’s lots of people who can’t even kill themselves due to their disabilities. Time flies by and so do we, it’s just a small moment of history we live in, and yet it’s our whole life, so let’s just be happy and grateful for what we have!
Love you all.
Please, take care of yourselves, comrades!
heck yea bro
Thank you for taking the time to leave this comment. Thoughts are just thoughts, once we master that the world is yours.
Bunch of quackery
So many people in men’s help have varying degrees of sexism and misogyny, it’s so refreshing to find someone who will tell us what we need to know without all the negativity that so often comes with it.
Thank you for sharing your wise words, I’m going through a rough breakup/career transition right now, and it means especially a lot to me right now.
In another video a guy commented about his 150 lb friend with a junkyard car and very little money that didnt have any trouble with finding women to have a romantic relationship with.
Thats because his self confidence are huge and nothing else.
Are you absolutely sure there was nothing else oversized? Sorry, couldn't resist 😅
But seriously, that friend sounds just like me...except the huge confidence/no trouble finding women bit. Mind you I'm gay, so perhaps not entirely surprising...the latter, obviously...the former less so and a mix of causes...but let's just say some nature, some nurture 😐
His friend obviously doesnt base his self worth on his car,weight and financial worth. He gets his confidence from other things.
1. Build value within yourself that is the best dating advice
2. Find a person who can be your life partner
3. Almost all things that are valuable in a man compound slowly
4. Education is the primary project for life
5. Life is exploration - explore your potential of health, money and sex
6. Earn respect from people by bringing value
7. Manage emotions never let them dictate your life for you
8. Stay the course
9. Learn what motivates you learn what derails you, achieve self mastery
10. You are the average of five people you surround with
11. Fucking try push yourself build value and share with others
It's time to get started!
Mark was so emotional last podcast about young generation.
like a bro thanks man love you
i really love you man glad to have a writer like you who make sense amid all this nonsense and chaos
As a 16 year old, being patient is actually the hardest thing to do but I'm trying
upd: as one of the replies adviced I started to meditate and it really helps. If you're struggling with the same thing you should try doing it
meditate
@@the_ab101 I've been avoiding it for a long time, bc I thought it was hard, but you know what? I will start today. Thank you.
@@ch1x101 👍
Adolescence is the hardest phase of life to endure.
Meditation - Eastern style is good. It's about observing your thoughts without being absorbed by them.
Thanks for this Mark. Good advice for older men like myself too. 1. To feel better about how long it took to get here 2. To realize the work continues and 3. To crystallize the idea in such a simple digestible format I will be able to pass on to my son when he is ready to hear it.
This is a master piece for the times we are living. Thanks Mark.
i concur!
Thanks for continuously reminding us the basics. We tend to forget these crucial things after a while. Your videos serve as a reminder
I appreciate throwing in the Paglia quote - she's said many such things - and she's a Feminist! Some things just make sense.
As an old guy, who has managed to learn to be pretty happy and to create a good life, I officially endorse this video. You rock, Mark Manson - thank you for sharing your wisdom!
A must-watch for every young man out there. Solid advice that can truly make a difference. 👏
Self improvement can only go so far
I'm already the best version of myself
I can't control if people decide to hate me before they've even met me
7:38 Not trying to excuse this behavior, but perhaps the reason why some men end up letting it out on their peers is because they tried therapy and not only was it too expensive for them, but they subconciously discovered how anti-male therapy is and how it does more harm than good for men. It's not necessarily that they see their peers as therapists, but moreso that they have nowhere else to go and talk about their feelings.
Complaining about the environment to the people you share it with is completely natural. People just want them to see things from their perspective. Nothing wrong with it. Also complaining about people who cause problems is totally justified.
@@SpiderYTSucks Exactly
@@SpiderYTSucksI bet most in the comments section have never heard of the term "expressing your grievances".
i appreciate you a lot mark. out of all "motivational" content creators you definitely seem the most genuine and that is an accomplishment in that genre.
2:55 absolutely
This Video Makes Me Tear Up Everytime I Watch It...
Absolutely solid advice, and much needed! Thans for sharing this knowledge and wisdom.
The importance of choosing good values that you talked about in your book really helped me so much. Thank you for that
All of this advice 100% on point.
Man, I love this. I’ve been following you for a couple of years but this is the best video ever. Everything a man needs to know, packed into 10 minutes. The world is so much better place with you, Mark! And yeah the new editing / storytelling style rules, one feels.. somehow connected.
Loved, loved this message Mark. You are very very valuable in this space!
It sounds depressing to hear that I'm just disposable. It makes me think is it even worth trying though. Maybe for myself, but for others?
It's a blessing meeting you, Mark. 🙏🏿✌🏿🤝🏿
Thank you so much Mark ! Your life advice Should be mandatory in school !!! I learnt to forgive myself and being vulnerable is ok
I learnt so much about myself
This may be one of your best videos yet
Mark, thank you for this video. I'm 16 years old, i'm going to my purposes:enter the uni, write a book about afganian war. Get a good girlfriend. Yeah, it's hard, but i'm not focus on mind barriers. So, i think, i'll reach this goals, and you Mark, the best!!
i m turning 14, and i know that i m a baby, blablabla. i m kinda struggling as of now, on the other end i m so excited to get "set up" by the age of 16/17 and just live... with what your videos and message(s) helped me a lot. same can i say for music. all your advice i find helpful. not like the others self-improvement youtubers. much love ❤
Mew every day of your life please
Hey dude, I'm 18 currently and I'm sure my 14yo me would be proud of me rn. However, don't wait for life to happen. You're not gonna be a diffrent person once you are 16/17. You'll be surprised, you're gonna be the exact same person. So take action, do what makes you happy, try out new things, experience life!
maybe i didn't explain it very well, by "get set up" i meant like do stuff now, so later on i wont have troubles in the most basic stuff like: communication. looks,
skills, etc.
@@Ron_Pollack yo bro, u good? cringe ngl
I stopped watching the video after the 1st "advice" about what defines the value of men and women 💀💀💀💀
This man is a sage way ahead of his time. Keep up the good work Mark! Love your videos and books! Respect always!
Mark, I hope you realise the legacy you will leave behind one day. Thank you for the invaluable wisdom you consistently share. 🙌🏽
You know, usually, videos of this title, kind of bring the "Ah nevermind, another one of these nonsense stuff" in me. But honestly, your ideas are just so right; I am happy I can shut that urge of skipping to the next video down and watch them completely. Thank you for sharing your life experiences. These are the real deal! Other peoples life experiences, of course after your own life experiences, are the most worthy things to receive and ponder about in my opinion.
thank you man, I really needed that
wow, that probably the best self improvement advices for young people ive ever heard on YT and believe me ive seen a lot
This video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood
11. really is an important one and it really resonated with me; I'm far from having done everything right and dandy thats on this list, but over the last years, I've more and more pushed myself to take risks, to make plans and follow them, to do shit that seems undoable at first... be it a big travel to that exotic country you've always dreamed of, be it composing own music, be it whatever - the motto I've followed has been _'If you try, there is a chance you succeed, if you don't, there is certainty that you don't succeed, you have already lost'_
Mark casually destroying Andrew Tate
Oh bald man = bad
@@WebHackmdshut up
That guy is a way better role model than Tate for sure.
Facts
Mark casually destroying modern feminism
Fixed it for you
This video was like the fresh air I needed in between all the fog around self improvement. Straight Forward & Realistic. Thank you Mr. Manson.
Great message, Mark. Even for a 40 year old woman.
I’ve watched a lot of ahit on UA-cam. I’ve read a lot of shit in books and everywhere else. Mark is still one of my most favorite straight forward person doing it. Thank you Mark. Please keep up the fantastic work.
I don't know. It seems to me that this is more of a trend what you are talking about. Go to the gym, be a "high value man". What if you do these and still are confused what your real priorities should be.. and the more you look at how to improve yourself the more stressful it becomes. Why just go to the gym? Why not find a personal trainer and train 3-4 hours a day? Why not work smart and hard 10-16 hours a day? And of course you need 7-8 hours at least of sleep. How do you manage all of that and still have time? I understand that self-improvement is key but where do you draw the line? This contradicts "not giving a f" in many ways too.. idk..
On the last point you just reminded me… I can’t remember the last time I drank to excess, or felt guilty about the amount I drank. I just finally moved on from that being part of my life. Without fanfare. And that feels kind of awesome.
Hi Mark, I just wantied to say you have honestly changed my life for better.
Before my ex cheated on me and I developed very low self esteem. Before I had social anxiety then I found a way to embrace it and realise I'm not the problem. After my gf cheated on me it all came back. Why I am so insecure? I messed up the simplest things all the time? Nobody likes me and never will.
I started to get into self improvement with watching many self improvement youtubers. You especially stuck out as it wasn't no bs course to sign up to or telling you the same things that every self improvement youtuber tells you to do. Your straight to the point and tell us simple but effective ways of being a better individual.
I read your models book and it really took my perspective of dating differently. I become more vulnerable and open with people to build deeper connections without being needy. I realised previously with my ex I was really needy and always looking for approval, so no wonder why she did cheat on me but I am thankful for that experience as without it, I would never of learnt of not being needy.
Thank you mark and keep doing what your doing, your fucking awesome.
Nice coment bro
Hi Lewis! I'm happy for you that you're finding a path that serves you well. You're probably going to find my comment irritating and you're right. Your comment went very well until the end and you're possibly thinking "wtf old boomer dude"? Well, you're right, boomers can be a bit too detail oriented, but you're probably trying to get a good job from one of us. Plus, you're trying to show your skills to the ladies and you're not quite there yet, but you're close. You're possibly thinking I should just mind my own business and you're right. You're on your way Lewis! I wish you prosperity in all you're doing!
@@LifeTheUniverseAndEverything42 Honestly thank you so much for this comment. I know I'm not perfect and nobody is, I still sometimes get anxious talking to people (including girls) but it's practice and failing, practice and failing. Plus when I'm anxious I have to tell myself it's good as it's something I need to work on. Honestly I'd rather listen to someone who knows what there on about, than someone who acts like they do like many people do these days XD.
Well, mate,
Very nice knowing that this did help you and the funniest thing about all of this self improvement stuff is that all of the UA-camrs, who talk about it, they in most cases try to make you feel better, try to “oh yeah, that is true man”, but they aren’t really telling you to do something, which is why a lot of people are couch potatoes, even though they are watching all that stuff, which is basically staying in comfort zone and being afraid of making mistakes, most people thing that self improvement is all about perfecting themselves as best as they could, but no, it means just about the opposite
It means consciously trying something by yourself, especially if you don’t like that very something and clearly making lots of mistakes, but with that comes the experience nobody could give you or tell you, because only you with your unique 1 out of all 8+ billion people living, one unique consciousness could experience
So it is okay to be anxious while contacting with people as you mentioned you have sometimes, it’ll be gone as you do it and your brain gets used to it
Keep pushing, mate!
@@Lewishelps512 Thank You and You're Welcome. I can see by your thought process that you are getting things figured out and that's great! I have been down a similar road and it's not always fun. I used to train people how to use a photocopy machine and told them when the machine didn't do what they wanted it to do "you learn more from things going wrong than from going right, because your frustration will help you to remember the solution" So, the machine didn't do what you want? Try a different way and no, I'm not going to tell you the solution, because when you figure it out, you will be more likely to remember your thought process than me just telling you.
But I think you are doing the work to make your life successful and enjoyable, so good on ya dude! (Just try to avoid kicking the machine... your foot will break before the machine does what you want it to) {grin}
{And you do now know the difference between "your" and "you're", right?} {Bigger grin}
please dont get me wrong guys. just seek advice from people elder to you, like those people whom the internet refers to as boomer. in my life, they have given the best advice despite being boomers on social media. It might differ in othes cases, but do try it out!
I don’t know if I’m being impatient. I’m 19 living with my parents and I’m trying to start an online business. I’m constantly working out making meal preps, working on my business for 3 hours a day, and not working as many hours as I could at my jobs if I weren’t working on my business. My goal is to be financially independent by 21, and then financially free by around 28.
Part of me feels like I’m going too fast in life. I want to get ahead so bad but I don’t know if I should just be saving up as much as I can now instead of investing in a business.
But I know I wanna be an entrepreneur and help people. So even if I fail this will give me experience. I don’t know, maybe I’m impatient. This has been on my mind but I don’t let it stop me from trying.
Love the pro therapy message. Be careful to find the right fit. BetterHelp is a great start but the first therapist is rarely the right therapist. Don't be afraid to switch if you feel stuck; I know finding a local psychologist greatly helped me.
This one really spoke to me. Thanks for all the non-annoying, non-dimishing, down-to-earth life advice, Mark
From don't try, to just try.
What a transition!
😂
😂😂😂
😂😂
As a woman who doesn’t have, or ever will have kids, I find myself constantly struggling with the first point you made. I don’t know if women particularly like that their “inherent value” is being able to have kids, instead of something they actually worked for or achieved, but it is something men can’t do, that’s just a fact. Also a lot of women do want it and I think that’s wonderful! But if it’s not in the cards for you, then what? And if it’s not something that calls you, then what’s your value? I never really saw it from this perspective before. It’s interesting to think about it 🤔 but only for like… a second (or however long it took me to write this).
You work for 40yrs to have $1m in your retirement, Meanwhile some people are putting just $10k in a meme coin for just few months and now they are multi millionaires. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life
Trading without professional guide... Huh I laugh you, because you will remain where you are or even make huge losses that will stop you from trading, this has been one of the biggest problem to new traders
It's a miracle and I would testify, 110K bucks
every 4weeks! I now have a big mansion and can now afford anything and also support God's work and the church.
Fucking bot scam invasion
@@kevinandrews4come to Islam sir.
@@damncat2793 yeah, the only one who is going to 'buy a new house' is that person they are relating to XD