an unfiltered discussion about being in your 20s
Вставка
- Опубліковано 4 лис 2023
- make sure to watch my quarter-life crisis in 4k 🤠 ^
Don't forget to subscribe! ☞ / @hannahelise
Thank you so much for watching! xoxo, Han
Help me to translate this video into your language! ☞ ua-cam.com/users/timedtext_cs_p...
Digital Diary Podcast with Hannah Elise ☞ linktr.ee/digitaldiarypod
☞ MUSIC USED:
Free Music for Videos 👉 Music by Mr. Chase - Wild Cherry - thmatc.co/?l=4AF031FE
Free 30 day trial of Epidemic Sound - share.epidemicsound.com/3qm8p6
☞ SOCIALS:
Instagram @hannahelisemaute
TikTok: hannahelisemaute
Twitter @hannahemaute
Pinterest: hannahelisemaute
LTK: www.shopLTK.com/explore/Hanna...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/hannahelise
☞ EMAIL:
For business inquiries only plz
hannahelise@select.co
☞ FAQs:
What camera do you use? Main: Canon EOS R50, Travel: Canon G7X Mark II
How old are you? 24 (as of when this video was posted)
What do you use to edit your videos? Final Cut Pro X
What apps do you use for thumbnails? Procreate, VSCO, PicsArt
When do you upload? Every Sunday!
☞ FTC: This video is not sponsored, all opinions are my own. Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I make a small commission off of purchases made through my link, but it does not cost you anything extra!
This video is about
#HannahElise
I am not ever someone who comments but I watch you and a few others religiously. Can I just say thank you for saying these things. I’m 23 and I feel so lost. I feel confused. Behind. I’m in a constant state of worry, stress, and comparison to others. I just don’t know what I’m doing. I feel unfulfilled. I feel exhausted and I’m not even doing much. It’s like my mind is just on overdrive.
SAME. You’re not alone. Girl we’re in this together.🫣
OMG I haven't even watched the video yet but you comment is exactly how I feel 🥺🤯😭
this is what I'm currently feeling and experiencing too
You'll get there. Just don't compare yourself to others or let your internal anxious thoughts get the best of you. No one in their 20s has figured things out. I was a hot mess then. I'm in my mid 30s now. I have two cars, a house, 2 cats and a great job. I was completely lost for a long time. It will all work out for you.
Sameeeee
Oh my goodness Hannah! I am a 41 year old elder Millennial mom of 3 and I can still remember vividly what it was like to be in my mid 20s. Someone told me that your post-college 20s are the "middle school years of adulthood" and that is 100% true! You are dumped into an adult world and expect that suddenly you will know what to do, how to live in this crazy world, how to make a living, navigate changing relationships, pay taxes, figure out insurance - what a mess! NO ONE expects any person in their 20s to have it all together. You shouldn't! Your life is going to change and morph and adjust so many times as you age and the best thing you can do is just think about your next best thing to do. Small simple steps to slowly move you forward. Take chances, have fun, wear sunscreen and don't worry too far in advance! Your career is going to shift, your priorities will change, your relationships will adapt and that's ok. You're doing great!
thank you sm for the sunscreen reminder!!😂
thank you for this comment, I felt that it speaks to me.. thanks a lot
I love this so much!
Agree, I’ve learned that life has “chapters” and there’s not necessarily one thing you have to do your entire life. You can evolve into different iterations of yourself through different careers, interests, relationships, etc.
omg, thank you although you weren’t speaking to me directly. I needed to hear this!!!
“We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.
It's miserable and magical”❤️🤷🏽♀️❤️
Side note: it continues into your 30s and 40s…. But life experience is what changes in how you take it all on! 👍🏻
because I am literally 22
Hello! 28 year old here. Happy to report it gets better. MUCH better. Your mid 20's are the peak of confusion, uncertainty, so much internalized societal pressure. As I entered my late 20's, everything becomes clearer and you also stop caring/putting so much pressure on yourself. Hang in there and ride out the waves! Everything will fall into place and you'll remember this time fondly.
Thank you for this comment. I just turned 25 on the 7th and I’m in this position where the life I’m living feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done and had to experience. Seeing so many people comment how it gets easier and you get to the point where you can stop worrying so much about these things is so helpful and reassuring! I really appreciate this so much! 🫶🏻
It's so comforting to hear this. Turnig 25 this weekend and I simply do not know what is going on. Here's hoping things fall into place soon.
@@Namesasheck im in the exact same place as you rn. turned 25 in october and feel as lost as ive ever felt. seeing other 25 year olds in the same place as i am in rn makes me feel so much less alone (and insane). like man am i glad it's not just me. my friends are sort of in a similar place but have their lives a lot more figured out at least on the surface level. i feel like i dont have anything figured out at all and i feel like im reliving groundhog day over and over because i live such a directionless life rn. heres to hoping it gets better soon! lets stay hopeful. :)
I’m 32. It does get better AND at the same time I feel like you learn to be more comfortable with not having all the answers and not knowing what you’re doing. We’re all figuring it out together :)
i personally feel like the meaning of life is ✨it’s not that deep✨
That’s my motto lol. I’m constantly reminding myself of that. At 26, it’s the most comforting thought to me tbh. I love just living my life, and seeing where it takes me. Literally nothing matters, honestly, at the end of the day. You know??? Like we don’t have to have a grand greater purpose in life. We don’t have to put so much pressure on ourselves about anything!!! Just be a good person. Help others in whatever big or small ways you can (making UA-cam videos that encourage your audience like you do COUNTS btw!! You don’t have to have a universal impact to have an impact!!) just LIVE your life and HAVE FUN and make good connections and everything will fall into place eventually!! What does that mean tho?? Who knows. Nobody knows!!! So don’t even bother trying to figure it out. Because ✨it’s not that fucking deep✨
Oh I like this
Being in your 20s and being an overthinker is not for the weak. This is honestly the most relatable thing I've seen in a while. I'm glad I'm not alone but it also sucks that so many of us are feeling this way.
I wish the best for anyone that sees this. Remember that your path is not anyone else's, you got this ✨️❤
I feel like I have traveled back in time and am listening to myself talking in a therapy session 2 years ago, haha. Fear of failure and need for control were huge for me too. This manifested in being a workaholic and constantly declutterring. Best piece of advice I can give is this: don’t just try something new, learn to be successful at failing. Do things on purpose that you know you will fail at so you can feel in control/successful at the task you gave yourself, but also so that you can recognize what failure feels like and learn that it’s not that scary. :)
I love knowing im not the only one, yet I hate that we’re going thru this. Let’s hope we’ll find our “path” soon
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more heard! I’m 23 and still not finished with my degree. I’m about to take a semester off because I have no clue what I’m doing in life. I’m scared if I make the wrong decision it’ll screw up my entire life. Thank you for sharing, you’re definitely not alone!
I started a new major at 23💕 you are not alone:)
Weirdly enough i'm not so worried about my career, but i am very confused and worried about my social life. Especially with social media and comparing myself to other people that seem to have these perfect social friend groups, i feel like SUCH a weirdo. I just have a few odd friends here and there, and i have moved a lot so i haven't really had the same friends for longer than 3 years in the last 10. I'm just confused how other people have figured it out so well. Like, where on earth do people find others that they can be themselves with, tell their struggles to, get support, etc. I still heavily rely on my parents and brother for that and i'm kind of scared that i'll develop a weird codependency because of that? But on the other hand, i haven't really found 'my people' outside of my family despite trying pretty hard.
I turned 31 in September, single and I still haven’t figured out my life entirely. But what I can say is I definitely prefer my 30s than 20s. My 20s are filled with a lot of what you said and tons of self-doubts. I don’t feel old at all, I still feel and look like I’m in my 20s, but I’m more confident and content with who I am now, I developed massive self love to myself which is my priority, and I just give less or no F to a lots of things lol. I have developed thick skin as I’m getting older and I freaking love it. I just realized that the doubt and unsureness of myself were so unnecessary to have. I was not liking myself in 20s but I was actually doing great when I look back now. And you are doing great, Hannah! 😊 Trust me give less F will free you, it might be hard to get this mentality now, but it will grow on you as you become older and after seeing a lots of things!
All of this!
I needed this
I feel this! I just turned 25 today.. and it’s been the worst birthday ever. I was alone all day, I have no idea what my path is, I have no friends, my job sucks, i’ve never felt so alone and uncertain. Though I should feel blessed bc of my family and the fact that I have a home and a car etc etc etc, but it still sucks. I have no idea where I should be in life right now and i’m tired of people saying “that’s okay!!” it’s not okay… it’s not okay to be forever not knowing where my life should be.. it’s definitely overwhelming. So it’s nice to know others feel this way, but it’s still a terrible feeling over all.
Girl you have a marketing degree, a successful UA-cam career, and you live in NYC. There are so many opportunities to seek out in this period of your life! You could find out so much about yourself and what you want to do as a career if you apply to internship opportunities or applying for a full or part time job with a marketing agency. I'm only 25 and what I have learned in my 20s is to take opportunities. It took me quite a few degrees and job experiences to figure out what I wanted to do as a career. Without risk there is no reward :) but honestly I know you will figure it out Hannah like you always do. I have always thought you are book smart and street smart! I am sending you and Charlie all my luck and love!
Internships are only for college students. Source: I’ve applied to 80 and read the job descriptions.
I'm 22 and this is the most relatable video ever, this is exactly what I'm feeling and thinking
I'm 23 and this was soooo validating to hear!! We really are all just feeling "happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time."
Hi Hannah! 24 yr old burned out gifted kid here.
I also very much relate to your "?" feeling. What I've learned (and trying to embody, but its easier said than done) so far is this:
Those questions you're asking ...where should I be in my career? What should I be doing?
They're good, but need a different focus.
The question you should be asking is "Where do I want to be? And how do I get there?"
Okay, Chey, you may say, but where should I go to get to where I want to be?
Here's the hard part: Freedom. There is not ONE set path. There is no where you SHOULD or HAVE to be.
That's exciting but also terrifying because how do you do the thing?
You have to make steps for yourself along the way. You want to direct a movie about bears on tricycles while also riding one? But it's never been done before and you don't know how? Well, what's a good step? Get a tricycle.
And if you can't figure out what you want, here's my advice: start with what you DON'T want. This helped me when I was having a menty b in graduating university.
List all of the things you hate doing, would not want to make money at, etc, and ask yourself in detail, WHY.
You don't want to work outside in the sun all day. Okay. Why? Don't like getting muddy or sweaty.
That can help you rule out other things that will make you muddy or sweaty, etc, etc.
You DON'T want to spend time in your room doomscrolling. Okay. So you know you need to get off your phone. Now you can make a plan.
In this age of knowledge and tech, we're presented with constant and ultimate FOMO. We're unfulfilled because we know there's so much more and we torture ourselves with the possibilities. My mom, who was a teen in the 70s, told me she did and didn't envy our generation now. Because we have more chances and opportunities to have so many more careers and in so many different places. That it's exciting, but also overwhelming.
Our expansive choice has crippled us instead of exciting us. So take it a piece at a time, when you can. Look at what you already know you love, and slowly branch out there from there. Trust me, you have time to experience so much more than you think.
Another thing is the passage of time. America has DROWNED us in the story of the young prodigy. If you're not in Harvard by 8 years old, what are you even doing here?
We see it flashed in our faces constantly and rewarded all the time throughout our childhood. It's harmful.
You have time.
I watched a video recently that was incredible by Dry Creek Wrangler School called "when you just ain't got it all together" and he talks about how the strongest oak trees don't get to their full potential in 30, even 40 years. They have to live, and grow. And they grow by experience earned over years.
You have to live to get experience. You have to get experience to have wisdom to know what's going on, or even a clue.
So please, please, please yall. Don't let your anxiety of trying to live your best life make you actually miss out on living.
Just rest. Exist. Enjoy. Let yourself have time. The growth will come, and so will the experience and strength.
Love yall. We're all in this together.
This video literally feels like you’re in my brain. I’ve been telling myself that being 23 almost 24 is the literal time to “fuck around and find out” but the perfectionist in me is terrified of doing anything so wrong that will make it where I end up permanently unhappy. And while the logical part of me knows that isn’t true, I can’t get past that thought. Obviously my generalized anxiety doesn’t help this situation 😅 I feel so stagnant and like I’ll never figure it out. While we don’t have the answers, it really helps knowing I’m not the only 20 something who feels this way.
literally same
I’m 24. And I feel this. But for me, I never felt the meaning of “everyone has their own path” more until I had a major mental health breakdown, crisis, and setback. Being in your 20’s is confusing enough without added trauma. Before that I was a scholar and thought I knew exactly what I wanted from my life. But what that crisis meant for me is that I really had to slow down, take a step back and focus on the here and now rather than comparing my present, my future to others. I KNOW that I’m currently at a time where I can only do so much but I do my best and that’s what matters. It’s going to look different from someone else’s best. I can look back later on and see my full recovery and successes but all of that is irrelevant until I get there. The now is what matters and I’m honestly just making the best of it by showing up everyday.
I’m about to turn 23 and start college for the first time. I feel so lost and confused. Wondering if I’ll be able to succeed when I haven’t been in school for 5 years. When I think about the fact that I finished high school 5 years ago, I could spiral 🙈 I’ve also been journaling off and on most of my life and I’ve seen these reoccurring themes of a desire to change. Such a deep desire yet staying stagnant and not knowing why I do that to myself. Listening to this, realising that to a degree we all feel like this, makes me feel a little less alone.
I’m 35, these feelings don’t really go away. It’s important to place your identity in the right things which is not the external things. Focus on things like building a good character and how you approach the world and treat others because those things transcend across all your years.
i like this :))
I’m so glad this is not only happening to me 😭😭 I’m 25 and going through my quarter life crisis because I do not know what tf I’m doing with my life or the path I want to take 😭
Me too 😢 at least we’re not alone. Some days it’s debilitating.
I’m gonna do a fast to clear my mind I’ll report back on how that goes.
I just turned 27 and I feel so lost. I’m grateful for the failures but also scared of the uncertainty of my life to come. When i was 10 i had my life planned out. And none of it had come to fruition. I need to keep moving forward with positive thoughts and intuition and this video is so so helpful!!
Big sis here. I’m 35 and let me tell you - everything you’re feeling is normal, but also not okay. Remember your brain (yes literally) is still developing, so there’s a lot that’s going on just in your body that leads to a lot of this feeling of anxiety and uncertainty. The other thing working against you is thinking of life as paving a road and not swimming in an ocean. When you think of everything as this permanent step in only one direction, you’re putting a pressure on yourself and restrictions on yourself that aren’t real. The decisions you make now do not have to define how your life unfolds-especially when variables are always changing. Life is much more like swimming in an ocean - you can go any direction and you’re always moving in one direction no matter what you do (iow you’re never stagnant even when you FEEL stuck). You can change directions at any time, you can change what stroke you’re swimming any time you get tired of doing it one way or you get a leg cramp (iow when something goes wrong, you don’t immediately drown, you just change what you’re doing!). The ocean has currents that can change what you’re doing too, because life always has outside factors that can ruin even the best laid plan and force you to adapt. Sometimes you get swept away in a current and end up somewhere you never expected. Sometimes you sink, but not forever. Nothing in this life is permanent including the choices you make now - go with what feels right and most of all, if something doesn’t feel right, never fear changing and trying something new. That’s what sinks people. Keep trying new things, new directions, for as long as you need u til you find what feels right, and be open to that thing only feeling right for a little while. Your 20s are going to be super hard and messy, that’s just life. But the more you can follow your heart and learn to trust yourself, the better off you’ll be. I know there’s a big temptation to make these big 5+ year plans, but I strongly recommend to everyone regardless of age that they just make a one year plan. A one year plan is realistic, actionable, and feels possible without being hugely overwhelming. Also anything beyond a one year plan is just fantasy because so much can happen that’s outside of your control that will force you to adapt anyway (and 30 year old you will probably want very different things than 25 year you, so why make a 5 year plan that’s definitely going to change?). You’re doing just fine and you’re going to be okay ❤ I promise promise promise it gets better.
I just turned 24 last week and its like you're in my head. I just feel like I'm floating and spinning out, and idk where I am going to land. Thank you for this!!!!
Older viewer here. I'll be 29 in a few months. You are def not alone in feeling like your 20's are one big question mark. I feel like I am just now beginning to learn who I truly am. Or mostly that, I can decide who I am and literally start with a clean slate. My biggest lesson is that I don't need to people please for people to like or respect me. Second biggest, it's totally ok for my passion to not be my job. If I make enough money working at a coffee shop, and I like it, I don't need to be out there hustling to make my hobby into my career.
But still gotta have a job to pay for your rent and or mortgage and bills and most the time that coffee job isn’t gonna cut it. So most ppl are forced to work a job they don’t like that pays the bills lol but it’s okay for your job to just be a job and use it to pay the bills but it’s best to find something you like
I’m 39. This is totally normal! It has happened to me more than once, and anxiety makes it so much worse! Talking it out helps. I went to therapy and it helped with the panic surrounding normal life transitions. Therapy is the best.
I’m glad there are so many people around my age 1) watching this and commenting to begin with 2) giving a lot of the same wisdom I’ve picked up in life
Just know I’m 68 yrs old and my mind does this as well. It feels like 20’s, 30’s, 40’s etc are all decades of figuring it out. You will settle your mind and find your place. I felt like you but I was free bird and just blew in the wind. Then I became what I wanted to be and did and still do what I want to do. Bless you sweetheart, life will be ok. Give yourself grace and space☺️
This is so comforting. 💕
being in your 20s is literally the most confusing time ever and i also have NO idea what the heck I am doing with my life. you are not alonw in your feelings hannah, i totally get you. we have got this, you have got this. i try to remind myself how young we still are, but it doesn't always help. things will work out, i promise you
I just turned 26. 24 & 25 were very, very tough years but now that I feel like I’m on the positive side of things, I am so glad I went through those years. Learned a lot and grew a TON. You’re not alone in these feelings, as you said, it’s a path and I promise you’re doing great 🤍
Also don’t put so much pressure on yourself!!
There's so much societal pressure to figure it out by 30 and I think that's why we feel so much pressure and confusion in our 20's. But my partner quit his job, moved overseas and started his business at 30. You can change your life and figure it out at any time it doesn't have to be (and won't always be) your 20's! Your 20's are just your 20's, you can (and will) figure it out at any time.
I usually never comment, but how you're feeling is totally valid! You should look into the japanese concept of "ikigai"-- it's finding what you love, what the world needs, what you are good at, and what you can be paid for. Basically combining your passion, mission, profession, and vocation can bring you that fulfillment in life we're all looking for aka ikigai (:
I'm only 21 but I still feel this, having to determine the course of my career and my life at such a pivotal time is so stressful, but hearing you voice those concerns is so validating. I know its fucking terrifying but we'll all figure it out. thank you for being so honest ❤
I have never related to anything more! I’m 23 just graduated with my masters and moved 12 hrs away from home. I’m in the era now that I worked towards for for so many years and I thought when I got there everything would feel right. Rather I’ve been unemployed for a few months and have realized that the career I always dreamed of having is probably not where I’m going to be able to start out. Now I’m in the position where I’m so confused where to take my career path, the rest of my life, and how to fill each of my days. Thank you for this video it helped me a lot to know I’m not the only one!
I am 25 and I wanna say even if you feel like it’s sounding like a mess. I understand every single word you are saying. It’s a constant battle with your mind and it gets overwhelming. The train of thoughts JUST DON’T STOP. It is one thing after the other and often soo contradictory. This video is so reassuring, it is comforting to know that I am not alone. Thank you for making this video🥺
I am 36 and i totally understand; enjoy your twenties! They’re suppose to be this way, sometimes I look back and I’m so glad I had such a good time in my 20s, the 30s are the pay off of your 20s. I remember living in my apartment and I read twenty something/twenty everything by Christine Hassler, changed and guided me to the woman I am today! Do all the work, it is sooooo worth it! Enjoy the 20s, little sister!
I’m in my 50s, and I still feel this way. The lesson I’ve learned and am still learning is that there isn’t a right or wrong way to live life. It’s time for the world to reject the notion that there’s some set timeline that we al need to be one and that we all need to achieve the same things in life. Also, there isn’t one moment where you “figure everything out” and that’s that. Life is constant change and re-evaluating where you are and then changing again. Failure is a great thing. Embrace it. It’s the trying that matters. If you fail, try again or try something else. But keep trying and learning and growing.
Girl it’s okay I just turned 30 in May and I still feel like I don’t have things figured out 😅 just keep going, and trying new things. We will all figure it out on our own time! ☺️
one of the things I have been working on recently is detaching myself from "producing value." For the longest time, that's the only way that I thought I could be worthy of anything, but therapy and a lot of thinking in the similar way you did in this video, I am actively trying to go against the feeling of "producing value." Merely existing makes you valuable. I'm also 24, and I absolutely loved hearing someone else talk about the same anxieties that go on in my brain. It makes me feel less alone.
“Merely existing makes you valuable” wow. Idk why I never think to consider this. Thank you ❤️
I just turned 25 and honestly same - I have this conversation with myself on a daily basis and I’m always being told by others, you’re still so young! So we just have to push through and let things happen 🥵
You aren’t the only one who feels this way. I turned 25 in May and I feel so lost! I definitely feel like I’m going through a quarter life crisis and I don’t know where I stand in my path in life. I’m the same way where I feel like I need a clear cut answer and when I don’t have a clear answer as to where I’m going in my life I start to panic. Life is so confusing and complicated and complex. I completely understood everything you were saying in this video. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspectives, it helped me💜
Take a deep breath a remember that everything will work out if you keep doing what makes you happy. I'm 39 and these moments still sneak up on me. You are not alone in these feelings.
There was a quote I heard that said if you don't know what to do...do nothing. You'll figure it out :)
So glad you posted this! as a 23year old college graduate living with her parents and a fellow Hannah felt SO validated by this video! i feel exactly the same way!! Also the quote “when does the process start? Is there parking at the process?” is 100% how i feel all the time!
i honestly feel less alone after this. i quite literally was just crying this morning over feeling behind and feeling different and alone not being in a relationship when a lot of my friends are getting into serious relationships and i feel the need to fix everything in my life right away. everything is just so much and it’s nice to know im not the only one
"and im thinking about not thinking" is quite literally the most relatable thing i've heard in years. Its really going to be okay Hannah. I feel like as we age, things just seems to automatically fall in to place, like unconciously its like one after another, all the pieces join up together. Lots of love and positivity!
You are definitely not alone, Hannah, I am a 5th year medical student, I graduate in 2025 and I can’t help but feel this intense pressure to get my life together, I am scared of failing, and that also adds to the anxiety. I feel like I have accomplished somethings and at the same time, I feel like I am stagnated.
You are not alone, I’m 23 and honestly have no idea of what is going on with me. No love life 😂😂😂, worried and stressed about my career and also scared of failure. My anxiety these days is over the top. Dealing with it just happens day by day. I believe we will get through it 🤍
The end of your video also made me cry, but in a good way. 🥹🤍
I learned about this in church the other day. Our minds tend to swing to one end of the pendulum constantly when something goes wrong, so that’s why our minds are always in this contradictory state of wanting something // feeling a certain way about something BUT having a fear, or issue with the things we want. When in reality somewhere right in the middle is typically the best, although it causes the most friction. Confusion is a scary part of this phase of life, but you don’t have to stay in it. There’s truly a way to get out of all of this, and it’s not a cop out! It’s true existence. Dead to life :) you’re a beautiful girl inside and out and I hope you can go easier on yourself and realize life is a gift that’s meant to be enjoyed. Fear is a liar, go after those things. Be alive in this life!!! He adores you so much. May He be with you and draw you in :) don’t mean to get to Jesus on you I understand it’s not everyone’s thing but He just adores you and it hurts to see a daughter struggle. Praying so much peace and wisdom over you
This video came at the perfect time for me, seriously a mood! 😅 I'm 28, and boy, do I relate to this rollercoaster called life. After a major mental health detour, I realized "everyone has their own path" is the mantra. 🎢 Twenties are baffling, and my scholar days seem like a different era. Now, it's all about living in the moment, not comparing myself to anyone else. 💁♀I may not be breaking records, but I'm giving my best shot and that's what counts. It's a unique journey, and I'm just here, embracing it with daily enthusiasm! 🚀
This whole video is exactly how i feel. This year I finished uni and then broke up with my boyfriend this week after months of it not being right. I feel truly lost and unsure for my future and have no idea how to even begin figuring out what I want to do with my life so I completely get it. I want someone to tell me what to do or what the right decision is. I'm going solo travelling in January so hopefully that gives me some inspiration to figure out what I want haha. But I completely feel every single point you made, my brain feels the same :/
I have deja vu reading this because that was literally me a few years ago and I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing in a lot of ways but I’ve really fallen in love with myself and I at least feel secure in saying I have more direction now. Give yourself grace. Give yourself time. I’m sure you have a lot more people than just me, some stranger on the internet, rooting for you. Good luck.
@@jaysauer834 Thank you, that's really nice to hear because I don't feel like that atm :)
I just turned 20 and I really really appreciate you posting this! We are all in this together!
First time commenter here - girl you spoke to my soul in this video. Listening to you and reading through some of the comments just proves that for some reason the biggest, scariest thoughts we have we somehow convince ourselves we are the only ones having them! Which is a very lonely feeling so thank you for being brave and sharing this. We are all in this together and it's so important this is talked about more! 💜
I needed this. I needed this video so much. I feel exactly the same. I just turned 20 a few months ago, but I've felt like this for so many years. I'm scared of failure, I'm terrified of rejection. It's good to know I'm not alone. I think a lot of us are scared, but with more people sharing our feelings like this, maybe we'll start to all figure it out together. Thanks Hannah❤
I just turned 34 and I still feel like I’m figuring things out and that feeling of overwhelm can creep in and take over. Hang in there you got this! Haha “I just feel like a question mark” 😆 definitely a good way to put it!
I just turned 34 in August and felt everything in this comment. You aren't alone
@@alanamcgrath7295 right! I'm like does that feeling ever go away at any age?!
@caytlyncole I'm just trying to make it feel less discombobulated over here. I know I will never have my life completely together, but I can do stuff to make it feel less discombobulated.
We are never going to have our shit together, and that's okay. I think it just takes years of working through the growth. Keep going!
Im almost 27 and just started on what I believe to be my path. I’ve done this a million times. Tried a million different things. What makes this time different? I figured out what I did and did not like and have used that to decipher what I want to do long term. The point is, try everything…Failure is the first step to success!
The whole “trying to plan out every twist and turn of my life based off a single decision!!”
YEAH GURL
we in this together love: a 21 one year old 💗
10 minutes in- this part about failure couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m 23 and going for my drivers test in the morning and I’m terrified. Not having a license has been a huge limiting factor in my life and a point of contention in a lot of my relationships… yet I’ve been putting this off for years cause I’m so scared of failing. I just want to have my life in my own hands yet every cell in my body has been screaming at me to quit all of this for the last few days now. I feel so lost and confused and scared too.
This video and this comment section is what I need right now. I’m 23 and quitting my first big girl job out of college to move across the country. I sincerely relate to the constant questioning of myself and what life choices I’m picking for myself. I try to surround myself with older wiser people who I know I can lean on. But at the end of the day it’s me making the decisions for my life. I hope that in the future I look back on what I’m doing now with compassion or with pride for how hard I’m trying. We’ll get through this ❤
I am in my early twenties and its so overwhelming and confusing. No one really sets you up for adulthood and you kinda have to figure it out on your own. This video spoke to me and came at the most perfect time Hannah so thank you! We’re all in this together
I’m so late to the party, but this is honestly such a brilliant depiction of how I, a mere 23-year-old, am feeling. Thank you for voicing it Hannah and proving that HSM is correct in that we are all in this together. Have a good day xx
Hannah I read that book - The Defining Decade! Tbh I knew that I was already doing most of those things and reading it was a confidence booster for me. I’m sure it will be for you too. Some of the chapters help remind you, as someone who IS doing things to enhance your life and reach your goals, that you’re doing all the right and good things! It also gives insight on how to navigate life milestones like marriage, etc. I’m 24 and will be 25 in August. Thank you for being vulnerable and helping all of us watching feel less alone !
You’re one of the few UA-camrs I’ve kept up with in the past four years. Mainly because I Im 22 and I like to see your experiences (the good and the bad) as you grow up. I’m graduating college in a month and this conversation is what I think of every day. So I appreciate seeing your experience and see you overcome this as well
I'm 25 and I'm in the same boat as you. It's so frustrating to feel like I'm so behind when I'm just walking my own path. Seriously, when did things get so complicated? 😂
i’m gonna be 30 in a few months, and i only figured out what i wanted to do with my life at 27. the most tumultuous times of my life were between the ages of 21 and 25. i have the phrase “keep moving forward” tattooed on my arm and that has been my motto through the deepest identity crisis and the most joyful celebrations. just keep it pushing, keep learning, and keep forgiving yourself 💕
Hannah! I needed this! I was literally texting my brother how I feel. I am 23, and feel so behind and lost! I am working so hard and I am ready for things to get better because my 20's have not been fun for me at ALL. Thank you for this video and making this corner of the internet a place where we feel seen
please keep talking about this because i swear i’ve been thinking the same thing but when i talk to my parents or other adults they are just like “yeah that’s adulthood” but it’s like WHY IS THIS NORMALIZED???? it is so hard and this makes me feel so less alone!!
I felt the same way when i was 21-23 (im 26 now & more stable). As a perfectionist, the pressure to "always know and follow a plan" for my life consumed me & made me so unhappy. My advice would be to release that pressure on yourself. The way I see it now, is that there is no "right" path, only life. I like to imagine myself in my 40s, 50s thanking 20 year old me for trying out different experiences/paths whether good or bad. Its true, you WILL figure some things out but that will only happen through trial and error, and its important to remember that failures do not make us any less worthy 💛
I feel so much hope reading the comments , because I'm 27 and have just recently started feeling like I have my shit together. All the changes and experiences of my early 20s was alot to deal with and it's only now that I'm closer to 30 that I have learned to not be so bothered with everything. Everything isn't a problem and every problem isn't fixable, and that's OK. Things happen and people change and I change. At 26 I started taking some courses, then I started school to become a software developer, and going from a physically demanding job to sitting at a desk trying to wrap my head around complex concepts was frustrating and hard but I've learned so much more than just coding. I'm not the same person I was in my early twenties and for a long time that change was scary and sad to me but now I love the changes I've gone thorugh. I feel like I have peace now.
Hey Hannah, I don't usually comment on UA-cam in general, but I feel the exact same as you. I'm 23 and just graduated from a Master's in Music and Technology here in Ireland, having studied computer science for my bachelors. I currently have no idea where my life is going and more importantly how exactly I'm going to get where I want to be. I'm unemployed right now and struggling in the job application process, which is tough, but then this also gives me plenty of time to write and create all the various kinds of music that I want to. Yet I'm also left with the uncertainty of if there's any point in that, because what if it doesn't go anywhere. I don't think I'm ready to throw all my eggs in one basket, because either I'd be miserable working a job I hate, or in my thirties with nothing to show for it. However, recently I've just found inspiration in the people that I've followed and looked up to for a long time. The likes of Sam Fender, who was struggling to make ends meet before being signed to Polydor, or Cody Ko, who seemed to be doing great from an outsider's perspective but he felt like he had fallen into a bit of a slump. For the latter, watching him train for an Ironman, and watching his Insanely Chill episode with The Hardest Geezer (Russ Cook) helped shift my perspective. Everything we do is a decision. A decision to get out of bed, to make time to do what you love, to make time for work so you can continue to do what you love, or sometimes to let yourself be a little lost in a world that can feel like a jungle at times. The most important decision comes after that; deciding to walk out from the trees to get some perspective and find your way back to where you're going. Remember though, it's just a decision. We make them everyday. Whether big or small, good or bad, you'll make another and another and so on and adapt when necessary. I think feeling uncertain isn't a bad thing, all it means is that you don't want to settle as you are. It drives growth, and that's a good thing. Just remember that everyone feels like this, but that we're all capable of getting through it. Essay complete.
Everything you said makes sense, this is exactly how I am feeling. The 20’s are a period in life no one talks about. This is the worst I have ever felt, and I know it will “get better” but choosing your own path is so terrifying. It’s also exciting but there is always that thought of no matter what you choose, you are going to wonder if it is what you are supposed to do.
I’m also in my 20s and I struggle with overthinking. What helps me let go off control is coaching therapy and meditating.
When I feel overwhelmed I try to stop, ask myself questions like: “what do I feel now? What can I see? What can I hear?” and etc to bring me back to reality. Actually when you’re out of your head and in the present moment, life is not that scary.
Breathe deeply, take one step at a time, you’re gonna be alright and you’ll figure things out. Sending you hugs, thanks for sharing your thoughts, we appreciate you ❤️
This entire video feels like seeing someone describing what's going on in my head but I wasn't able to voice yet. It is really helpful also to be able to ask for help. Thanks for everything you do, Hannah ❤
You know what's so crazy? I subscribed to you recently because I see you as the person I want to try to become. I didn't know we are the same age! I turn 25 in January, I honestly thought you were way younger than me! I truly feel like I'm just so stagnant... I'm not doing... anything..?? I look up to you as someone who motivates me to be better, you are living out of home and your videos show me how productive you are. I know in your videos you say that you're not consistently hyper productive like what you show in your videos. BUT that truly helps me to see how to be productive in general. I still live at home and I want to move out so badly, I want that independence so much. I use being at home as an excuse for not being able to do things that I want to do. I don't want to continue school to get my bachelors. It makes me feel so much better that you also share these feelings of not knowing what to do. Not better in a sense that I'm glad you feel stuck, but I assume you know that lol.
I’ve never heard someone say out loud what i think on a daily basis this accurately. It’s scary sometimes to see how we’re all, not just living similarly, but having exact similar thought processes. Thank you for this, don’t ever stop doing what you’re doing girl you’ll definitely find someone who relates to you on the internet no matter how absurd your mind might sound 🤍🫂
HANNAH ELISE!!!! how did you know? I’ve been losing sleep over this, had a panic attack last night and could not stop crying. What the F are we supposed to be doing? I feel like there is so much there is to be getting done, by looking at other people’s lives, and I can’t keep up. We need to be healthy, eat well, look stunning at all times, have a successful career, be present, loving, wake up early everyday, be productive….is just tooo much!!!! How do we even do all of this by the age of 25? That is so unrealistic. Everyone moves at a different pace, and we can’t compare, but it is so hard! I am so scared of failing and disappointing people, but I also feel like I need to risk. As an anxious girlie, my mind is CONSTANTLY remind me of everything I need to accomplish like right now, a fight or flight situation. Feels so valid seeing that my literally favorite person feels the same way. Thank you so much for bringing this topic and not scarping this video, the timing was crazy!!! I love you, girl 🩷🩷🩷
Currently 21 and I’m feeling this right now thank you so much for the video
I’ve been feeling the same exact way. Don’t feel like you’re taking up space, your videos are so relatable and comforting. I tend to overthink and talk a lot about how I feel lost sometimes. It’s been such a weird feeling being 23 and still not feeling like my “adult life” has begun.
I feel so seen and understood and i think it's really telling and beautiful to read through all these comments and see people of all ages and stages of life feeling this way. I hope it makes all of us feel less alone and know that everyone's in this together. We're all figuring it out.
when you said you feel one dimensional, that word just instantly clicked!✨i am also a post-grad content creator in my 20s and i feel so driven, curious, burnt out, and bored at the same time! hopefully, we will all feel some clarity soon, but in the meantime we're in this together
I feel this so much. I’m about to graduate college and I feel like I’ve got absolutely nothing figured out. everything you said in this video is so relatable but we’re in this together
Looking back on my 20's....they have been the most upside down rollercoaster that I ever could have imagined. At 28 now, I have completely switched careers, left a toxic job, I've had a few mental health breakdowns, trying to let go of a 4 year old situationship - it's been both physically and mentally confusing. But the silver lining has been I have really gotten to know who I am as a person, female friendships have been so important for me too. At 28, life has been ok, but now comes the pressures of finding a partner, marriage, children!! It never ends!! So for me, all I can do is take one step at a time...and for people who will continue to ask about these things, let's just say if I want advice I'll ask 💙💙
These are the most relatable points I've ever heard anyone else say and sounds exactly like the thoughts in my head and my worries. I've literally said/thought all of this stuff before. I'm not satisfied, want to be doing more, am afraid I'm on the wrong path, wish there was a blueprint or birds eye guidance someone could give me. All these feelings are what make me keep going back into a depressed state after I get myself out of it for a short period of time. Or... just living in constant anxiety. When you talk about feeling like you may not make sense and no one gets it and that you're rambling, give yourself more credit because you're actually doing a great job and it makes sense.. at least my mind can wrap around it all very well. So thank you. I hope we both can figure out our next moves
I just turned 23 and I can relate so much. I have no idea what I’m doing and I feel like I constantly have to run away from my life and do something new with every new thing that might not go ideally. I don’t feel like I’ll ever be satisfied with my life and I feel so stupid and selfish because I graduated college, have a good job in my field, and moved out to the city I wanted to live in 2 weeks after graduation. I shouldn’t be saying “I’m stuck in Boston until May”, I should be happy and feel privileged and proud of myself for making everything happen but I just don’t. I feel like I waste so much time on people and things but then again I have to think that whatever I did, I guess I thought it was best for me at the moment, but at the same time, if I knew then what I do now, maybe I wouldn’t have stuck around that long or done things the same way. I don’t think college prepares you for how lonely post college life is.
I’m 27 and I resonate with everything you said. I feel like we are in the same place. But I feel like I’m in my “late” twenties instead of my “mid” twenties and I feel like time is running out to figure things out and it makes me anxious and miserable.
I’m 22 going on 23 in April, and oh my gosh, this is exactly the kind of thing I have been feeling for the past few months. Hearing I’m not alone in this feeling makes this all just a little bit easier. We’ve got this! We’ll figure it out!
I am at the same age as you and it is just uncanny how similar our thought processes are! The feeling of losing control over my life while knowing well that I have full control is so intimidating and overwhelming. Thank you for articulating all these ❤
I don't think i've ever related to a video more than this one. I'm turning 23 this weekend and having the exact same feelings. I don't know what I want or where I am going but I know I will be okay in the end. Finding our paths are hard, but a journey we will remember forever. I keep reminding myself of that. The only thing in the future I'm looking at is my trip to NYC this December! You're path is being drawn and it can't wait for you to catch up 💜
It always felt like once I become adult, I would be able to figure things out. But once I become adult (I am in late twenties) it gets even harder sometimes to figure out my own emotions, thoughts and behaviour. One moment I have that AAHA moment and next I have thousands of questions lining up to be figured out. It's not like I am clueless and don't have a single idea on what is to be done in my life moving forward, but the sense of feeling lost, lonely, misunderstood and misunderstanding, anxiety cripples me sometimes to even function properly.
Holding onto memories, deciding whether to keep someone in life or let someone go, career, finance, relationships, family, academic achievements, the burden of these all are something everyone have to tackle mostly in their twenties. If one aspect doesn't seem to be going fine, I see myself failing, I see myself as nuance. Things might get better or things are already better but still wanting to have certain aspects of life in control but not being able always messes up with my head. Anyway hope things get better for me and for everyone out there feeling lost, stuck and lonely.
I needed to see this video like many of you in the comment.
I stumbled upon this video and felt lot more better than I was feeling before. 🙂
Hope everyone feels better as well.
HANNAH!! This is exactly how I feel! I’ve been having an existential crisis about what I want to do with my life and it feels like if I move in one direction something could go wrong and I’m gonna fail. I feel so validated. We’re gonna be okay! We’re gonna figure this out ❤
I relate so hard to this Hannah. It’s such a confusing time that no one prepares you for. The only thing that has comforted me during this time is learning to be okay with uncertainty. There are so many new things to try and what lights you up inside will constantly change throughout your life! Enjoy the ride
Ahhh i feel this
Here’s what I’ve been doing! I have been feeling THE EXACT SAME and I also try to logic my way through my emotions so I hope this helps :) don’t see the new things you try as failures that were a waste of time. See it as a to do list. If one doesn’t pan out, you can check it off the list and know that you tried and it wasn’t it but you still have a list of other things to try. I am a to do list person so this helps me feel more productive instead of being a failure.
You really aren’t failing. You aren’t supposed to know how everything is going to work out. I am a planner and every single time I planned out my life, I was thrown a curve ball. Even if you had an entire plan, very likely it wouldn’t go exactly that way and it would probably turned out better then you ever could have planned. That’s what happened for me everytime.
This felt like therapy because my brain does the exact same thing yours does. One last thing that has helped me is that when I turned 20 is the age I started my adult years. So 20 years old was 0 in adult years. When I turned 21 was when I turned 1 in the adult world. So if you’re 25, girlie you only just turned 5 years old. You’re still a little baby adult. You have SO much time. People change careers at 50 and live an incredibly fulfilling life. Your videos are something I look forward to every week and your name is common in my household. You add entirely more value then you understand.
Thank you for being so transparent because i have felt these same struggles and this video made me feel so seen. Also this comment is so long RIP im so sorry lol
Just entered my 20s and I’m starting to feel this. Girls, the show, really made me see it isn’t just me. We got this!!
I'm going to be 30 next year and thinking of my 20's two things that really helped was: 1) Volunteering and 2) getting a whiteboard.
Volunteering for places you think sound cool, doing things you probably wouldn't actually get a job for (social media marketing, event coordinator, volunteer coordinator, volunteer home builder) could be a fun way to find nuggets of things you find fulfilling. It might give you an idea of a job you are newly interested in or some direction of where you want to go next. It's volunteer work so the pressure is nearly non-existent.
The whiteboard might sound silly, but it helps get a lot of things out of your head out there. It might help you mind-map thoughts and organize them in a way that feels more manageable to tackle.
I didn't get a great job until I started volunteering and I didn't get better grades in school until after I got a few whiteboards. I also didn't have much of a direction until I started writing things out like a mad man.
Just some 2 cents, but TLDR volunteering is a safe way to experience new things with little pressure and a white board gets your thoughts into the physical and may give you more control over tackling to-do's or mapping out what you're thinking. Good luck! Hope this helps
This video was extremely validating, Hannah. I recently graduated from college, about to be 23 in a few months and I feel like I'm at a stand-still. I completely resonate with your fear of failing and it's just so hard to stay motivated and push yourself with that thought in the back of your mind. I know I need to make a move to start the journey to a life I'll feel satisfied with, but my brain likes to hold me back in my comfort zone. Not only that but with everything else going on in the world right now, it's hard to find a point in it all. These feelings are all so overwhelming, but I just try to remind myself that I'm still young and that what is meant to happen will happen. I'm hoping all of us can find our path or at least be more comfortable with not knowing what will happen next for us ❤
HANNAH!!! That book is 10000% my holy grail / non religious bible to my 20’s. I literally resonated with everything you said and I promise you that book is like game changing to how to approach your 20’s !!
I’m only 10 minutes in, but holy fuck I relate SOO much with everything you have said. I, too, have fear of failure, losing control, and not feeling fulfilled but also knowing that life is non-linear.
Yeah this is exactly how I feel! I graduated from college almost a year ago and I have no interest in using my degree and I have no other ideas for a career path. It's frustrating, thanks for speaking it out!!
No need to rush your life and enjoy your 20s! You are working and creating and the more time passes on you will find yourself. It's a growing time to be in your 20s but take it one day at a time. Just look at what you have accomplished already and be positive. If you make mistakes then learn from them. Smile and relax and enjoy your life.
Yea girl I feel you!!! I made a whole Quarter Life Crisis Series on my own channel as I turned 25 and wow it has been a journey. I am also in the thick of it still, as are so many people in their 20s. We'll get there, eventually! Thank you for making this comforting video!
I’m 22 and this is how I feel to a fucking T haha. Couldn’t help but laugh while listening because it’s almost comical how lost we all feel during this period. There is definitely comfort in this video and I just wanted to say THANK YOU for sharing with us!