for twenty year olds who have never been loved
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- Опубліковано 10 сер 2023
- hi guys! welcome back to my channel :) i missed you all!! in this video, I talked about to those who have never been loved. trust me, I think being in your 20s is a very lonely time period. at the end, the main message I want to get across is that just because you’ve never been loved romantically does not mean you can’t love yourself or love others. You are worthy as you are. You don’t need external validation or love from another person to make you whole.
I hope this video helped some of you guys! Let me know what you guys think. I’ll be back with a vlog next week! I will see you all very soon! stay safe and I hope everything goes well for you guys!!!
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Music by ninjoi. - I Don't Want Your Love - thmatc.co/?l=CB2F627D
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tags: #neverbeenloved #single #beingsingle #neverdated
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27 and never dated nor kissed. We exist, yes. ❤
Same 😂❤
lol same. i did have a kiss which was super bad and ugh, but i haven't had any other intimacy and im feeling so much pressure from society about nearing my 30s and having zero romantic prospects dfsdjhf
@@ilarcornerofspacegirllllll…are you me??? Lolll omg but yeah we do exist 🙋🏾♀️
@@cedesley7296 ikr! T-T it's hard out there. i'm glad i'm not alone in this because it sure does feel like it sometimes. everyone around me is already in couples, getting married and popping out children and i'm like hawd awn, wait a minute LOL srsly getting used to the idea that some people just stay alone all their life and that's okay.
p.s. that's why i joined a kpop fandom and tried to forget my sad sad reality xD
@@ilarcornerofspace 😂😂😂 that was a really good idea! Being part of a community or fandom can help alot. Sadly it won’t get rid of the desires we have as people in this world, but kpop will do it for ya! 😄
Which fandom are you part of??
I feel like for a lot of us, is easier to fell in love with the idea of romance than actually falling in love if that makes sense
Yup, aromantic here, and I tend to idealize romance, but when someone actually shows any interest in me, it feels unnatural.
@@iwrongic exactly! i feel u two
i think for me, if i get any ouce of attention i tend o get more concious with mself and dont know how to act if it was about going on a date or someone liking me @@iwrongic
This literally happened to me. I thought I loved the girl but looking back I actually never did love her it was just the situation.
Exaclty!
As someone who relates with the title, a lot of the times I find myself wanting other boys to like me, look at me, pay me attention when I don't even like them myself. I crave that validation I never received as a kid because I grew up being considered ugly.
And seeing that no one talks about it, I'm very glad that we're starting to be more open about topics like these. Thank you, for making this video 🩷 I relate to a lot of your content 🥰
As a kid, I never paid attention to any of this. But ever since I have entered my 20s, I have grown so insecure about this entire thing of never being liked by anyone romantically. Oftentimes, I find myself wondering if there's something wrong with me because I see people around me falling in and out of love all the time. And then there's me who has never even been proposed to before. It's kind of sad not because I want a relationship but because people around me have never considered that I am worth being in a relationship with. That makes me question whether it's my appearance or my personality that fails to attract people. But the more I delve into this thought, the more pity I feel for myself. And I don't want that. I truly don't want that.
@@rian6524 i can definitely relate to you in a lot of ways. All i can tell you is that you're worth of being loved, no matter how you look and how you are, you deserve love and to find someone. It is totally okay on the other hand to not find anyone or struggle. We are all in the same boat and sometimes it might be because we are picky or just not the relationship type of ppl. It could be so much different things but honestly finding love and a partner shouldn't be the reason you feel pity, you shouldn't even feel pity, because i think that everyone is fine on their own, you are lovable and it is the truth. But you can also fill that role and love yourself like you would love someone, start giving yourself attention, treat yourself right, gift yourself some things you enjoy, spend time with yourself and you'll realize that you're actually totally lovable because you're unique and you appreciate that. And there will be a person that will also appreciate that about you, and they will love you for who you are. But beware to not center all your thoughts on meeting someone/having a partner, it's a thing that is just a + in life, you have to be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and someone will come down with you if you really want to. Just take time for yourself and date yourself
That's exactly what I feel
im so glad im not the only one, 19 years old with NO romanti experience, i never had guys appraoch me or anyting. because of this i end up craving more attention and the way it applies to guy that i wouldnt even blink an eye too and i still find myself having to look the best
I am 29 and didn't start attempting to date until 27. Like her, I could NEVER imagine myself in a partnership with ANYONE and had no idea of what love or relationships were. However, I just entered into my first relationship (right after my 29th birthday). While I used to feel severely left out by all the couples and partnerships around me - now I just feel thankful. I am kinda glad it took this long to find a great person :) It just wasn't my turn yet.
Thanks for saying this!!! I started dating at 26 and still haven’t found a long term partner but I’m hoping I will!
That gives me hope, thank you for sharing :)
what a lovely mentality you have about your situation! as a 20 year old with 0 romantic/ sexual experience, I appreciate your comment, Jeanette 💜
I’m 28 and haven’t been on a date yet , and while I’m glad I’ve held off for this long, I feel like I’m missing out on important social interactions ? 😅
@@naniisims I felt the same. Actually I still feel the same lol. I always just remind him that this is my first rodeo so I require a bit more patience and understanding. I’m learning how to be in a relationship while BEING in it and it is an adjustment having to consider another person now instead of just myself. Sometimes I don’t pick up on his cues and other times I don’t know how to receive his affection and kind words.
I will just say that I think the right person will be willing to be patient, kind and understanding while you adjust/learn. I do sometimes think that if I had more experience with dating that it would be easier. But I can’t change the past nor do I really want to. I just gotta do my best! Sorry if that wasn’t helpful but I completely get what you are saying! ☺️
To all the 20+ who've never been loved before,
There's nothing wrong with you. You're just as perfect the way you are. 💛
❤🥹❤thank you
Thank you 💛
hm i mean yes and no, we should self reflect
Tbh, I got some issues I need to work on lol. But it's a work in progress!
I really needed to hear that because I just turned 23 and my parents are like you still single 😢
the title is so real
No replies?
So real I started crying🥲
I'm 20 never been in a relationship, but tbh I think the reason I'm single is because I put no effort into finding someone or never put myself out there in situations where people see you, get to know you and a relationship can develop.
same 💀💀 i'm just too introverted
Samee
It's bcus I have social anxiety 😢
Exactly me
same😢
I turned 24 this year and I'm in the same boat. Only recently I actively started putting in some effort to meet people/going on dates but I feel so out of place and inexperienced. It's a comfort to know that there's more people out there like me
Are you me? Cause, same 😭😅
Same
🥹
24 but I don't even try it is like something wrong with me.
Same. I'm in my first relationship at 22 and i wanted to try out different stuff out of curiosity, but it feels so off. I feel awkward
your videos just made me understand and live my youth better. as 22 years old black girl who never had friends and also never been loved while everyone has their life "together", i see you as friend i needed and wanted while growing up. thank you so much!
I'm 24 and same situation sis
Same girl 22💜💜
22 and also black, you’re loved🫶🏾
Same thing but I'm still 20
Same I’m almost 21 and black. It’s lonely 😅
why is this so timely...again? same age, thinking "what is wrong with me?" every day
also oh my god, this thing about thinking this one person who finally happens to like you is the first and last and there'll never be anybody else ..is so true. my friend fell for me at some point, I was clueless for so long, but when we drifted apart I kept thinking I should have gone for it, cause nobody will ever like me again and I didn't even like him like that, though he was a good friend
@@soul_y you seem like genuinely good woman. Every good man out there will automatically asume you are dating or married. If I could give you one advice it would be to let the man know you are interrested in him. Men need more courage than ever before. I see so many big strong men who never approach even through they have no one. But God has plan for all of us. We must put our faith in his hands and he will lead us.
im currently 19 going on 20 and all the points you talked about are so damn real...
ive never dated before, never been asked out or anything, never had a talking stage, never kissed anyone, etc etc
i was one of the people who also grew up "ugly"; i was a stereotypical nerd and art-kid who always had messy hair and glasses and braces and i never really took care of my appearance because i really gave no fucks. back then, it didn't bum me out that much that i was never wanted in a romantic way because i believed it was because i was ugly and unpopular. i always believed that having a relationship was only for popular people.
im older now and ive gotten into make up and fashion on my own terms, and i believe ive "glowed up" a lot and yet still, ive never received the type of attention my other friends have gotten. i think im the only one in my friendgroup whos never had any romantic experience before
and what you said about it fucking with your self esteem is so real because i look in the mirror at times and question everything about myself and what was possibly wrong with me. i feel like it's fueled a lot of my anxieties and insecurities, and now that im in college i feel like i've lost all hope lol, and it doesnt help that im a really big hopeless romantic and i love to write/read love stories and poetry in my free time...
and what you said about people with dating experiences can make friends better is so real too!! its genuinely so difficult making new friends because everyone my age seems to be so obsessed with whos dating who and dating culture in general (not that its a bad thing), i feel like i always lack stuff to say because i never relate with anyone these days and people never really seem interested in talking about things other than that - even trying to keep up with old friends is getting exhausting because i never understand what they mean when they start going on about their own experiences and all our conversations end up super one-sided and boring
i always fantasise about meeting someone whos just right for me and we'd hit it off immediately, but i know its all just make-believe and fairy tales.
my friends think that maybe my standards are too high (i think they're the bare minimum), but then again, why would i change myself for another person's validation?
i think right now, i'm satisfied with myself. i get good grades, i look hot (atleast i think i do), and i have a good support system. when i try to imagine my future, it's me alone doing the things that i enjoy (with a loaded bank account HAHAHAHAHA)
im really glad to have seen this video and to have subscribed to you via !!!!!! i always felt like i was the only one and im just so glad im not alone
this is waaaaaaaaaaay too relatable
I just turned 21 and reading your comment makes me want to ask you, can we be friends [ even though I have poor communication skills :D].
U have the important things in life now kudos to u gorl. And hopefully the universe will let the rest fall in to place 😌
NEVER lower your standards! You deserve the best and the best is out there somewhere
i am litteraly the SAME like omg
As a kid, I never paid attention to any of this. But ever since I have entered my 20s, I have grown so insecure about this entire thing of never being liked by anyone romantically. Oftentimes, I find myself wondering if there's something wrong with me because I see people around me falling in and out of love all the time. And then there's me who has never even been proposed to before. It's kind of sad not because I want a relationship but because people around me have never considered that I am worth being in a relationship with. That makes me question whether it's my appearance or my personality that fails to attract people. But the more I delve into this thought, the more pity I feel for myself. And I don't want that. I truly don't want that.
I feel you
You’re so real for that
something to consider is the radical shift in infant/child mortality
Maybe lowering your standards will get you more dates
@@VloneKid25 and how do you know i have high standards? trust me, i don't. I am a simple person who craves for simple yet genuine feelings.
I'm a 20 year old and I've never been loved romantically or gone on my first date yet, so this video was made for me :') Your content truly puts me at ease with my anxiety of never having been in a relationship before and also helps with the healing process for my inner child/teen, so thank you Via!
Same !
Same here gurl..🍷 I hope you'll get better❤
There are a lot of femceIs these days because of (anti)social media and hyper individualist culture
When people ask for your boyfriend, just show them your right hand
Same
I feel like I always comment this but I'm soooo glad many corners of the internet are normalizing talking about the "never been loved"/ not actively looking for romantic relationships experience! I am officially past the mid twenties mark (turned 26 yesterday yayyy) and I've been online since middle school but no one was engaging with this topic as honestly and cheerfully as Via! Also, as she said, it feels nice to feel a sense of community in the comment section, I noticed how we're all of different ages and how reassuring is that? 🥺 Sending love to you all 🧚♂️💛
I agree and
belated happy birthday! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Finally found my tribe. A lot of people said to me like “You have high expectations. lower your standards. You are living in the movie”. The truth is no one gonna love me as I do. Normally I am fine with my self alone and I don’t see the need to be in the rs. Every word in this vid describes me so well. For the first in the lifetime , I feel heard and understood. Thank you
Like if I have to lower my standards what's even the point
24 year old here who has never dated anyone! I can't thank you enough for these videos.I really think society needs to normalize being single and get rid of the viewpoint that it's a thing to be ashamed of. Ive honestly just never really met anyone I've liked and I hate the idea of online dating.I think it would be great to meet someone someday, but right now I really want to focus on finding that self-love and embrace being single. I don't want to be in a relationship just because everybody else is- I don't think that's a good enough reason to be in one. :)
Same.
I never had a big sister but now i have.Thanks for your existance in this world.
AAA bu kızı izleyen baska türk de varmış 🫂
@@foxylady5 💙
NO please don’t listen to this pessimism. It’s very evident as to why she hasn’t been in a romantic relationship yet. She is extremely cynical and she is a walking closed door. No romantic or platonic relationship could survive with her.
Be open to love! You are so young and relationships, short and long, shallow and deep, all provide life experiences and personal growth like no other!
@@prettywildnights being single is a choice tho, not everyone needs to be in a romantic relationship. I feel better this way and I don't think my mindset will change in the future about this topic.
@@foxylady5Laaaannnn nabee
I'm 18 and just got to college and feel so behind everyone else here in terms of romance. this was really comforting
You are still very young you still have a lot of time to grow and focus on your self and loving yourself once you ready you will find the right person for you and enjoy your time in your college that’s your experience and you are not behind at all those ppl are going into short term relationships that has no meaning it just waste of time I never dated in college and my experience was amazing I loved how college made me grow as person and really after college the right person for me showed up and ended up in valuable relationship
Wait. This could not have come at a better time. I'm turning 25 soon and have been freaking out bc I've never been in a serious relationship. Just failed situationships. It feels so validating and comforting to find this video and all the other people who relate to this. ❤️
What's a situationship
@@bro918a relationship but not at the same time 😝
For the first 29 years of my life, I always felt content being alone. My friend told me maybe I have Asperger's syndrome. Now, at 31 years old and still a virgin, I feel kind of left out lately. My romantic relationships are mostly online, and I've decided to be childfree, which also makes things more difficult for me. But I am grateful for the love of my cat, family, and friends
You do you, bestie! If you’re actually at peace with yourself, who really cares? I’m childfree too. I met childfree men. They exist. It’s not easy, but they do exist.
@@MagisterialVoyager thank you 😊
I’m a little older, 53, but I also decided not to have children. I’m very happy with my decision, and it is looking better and better all the time.
My advice-look for people who support your choice and eliminate the ones who don’t
it always feels so shameful not to loved, but it really not just the right time. I think that media grooms us to equate romantic love to our worth, but there is so much in just being alone. for anyone who needs to hear it, being in a relationship does not make you feel better or cure your depression, it honestly just brings it out more.
I needed to hear this as a 27 year old depressed lonely man.😮💨
“women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. and they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.” these were the words I wrote down on my journal 20 mins ago, after a tough day (after I blasted you're on your own, kid' on the way home lol) and I just saw that you uploaded this :') idk how but you always give me what I need at the moment, thank you so much via♥
Isn't this a quote that Jo says from Little Women?
yes!!🤍
You're literally the only person who said that. You're arguing with no one, only voices in your head
@@Michael-tk9uxare u serious? Have you ever seen romantic movies, have you been part of society, they always say that the happy ending for every woman is getting married and having kids or getting the guy, meeting the one. You see it everywhere, hear it everywhere, when your aunt asks you 'Do you have a bf?' When a stranger asks you 'So do you have a partner?' When they advertise beauty products because 'you should attract men', when the happy ending in the movies is 'getting the guy', when everything gets complicated and is considered plot worthy in a movie when a guy comes in the picture. When they say 'Don't worry, you will find someone.' When you say you are single. When older single women are called spinsters. When older single women are called 'leftovers'. Yes they do say that women are only fit for love.
@Michael-tk9ux just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean no one else has 💀💀
this. this hit home :") im 22 and ive never dated, nor had a first kiss let alone a situationship and its been so long since ive had a srs crush and most if not all of my friends are in a serious relationship and i dont really know anyone besides me and my bsf who arent in relationships or actively looking to be in one atp. but idk there are just some moments when i see them with their s/o's and its not that im jealous or feel envy but i just get hit w thoughts like "oh. im never gonna have that" "am i really that hard to love" "maybe if i was prettier/more confident/skinnier maybe someone would want me". i rlly dont know i just get waves of sadness like that, even though i know that i dont want anything serious bc commitment scares me, i just want the idea that someone out there at least once has had feelings for me. idk it feels dumb to type these out :")
I'm 30 and a virgin, dated, yes, but i dont think they "loved" loved me, relationships are complicated, so its okay to wait instead of jumping into a safety net. making mistakes is fine as long as you dont waste more time on it making it a habit without learning the lesson. enjoy ur life, live for you, no one can guarantee someone is going to come along and sweep you off your feet and that it would stay the same. everything change. learn to embrace and enjoy your time.
Just do you. As a 36yo I would advice you not to let yourself be influenced about what you should do according to others. Focus on being happy with yourself ❤
We don't know everything. Wth kind of advice is this? Everyone can teach you something.
@@tedoymisojos how do u mean?
I’m 31 yo and a virgin. I used to feel like an outsider, sometimes I still do, but life is not the same for everyone. We don’t feel and think the same. Now, make your own path, do not let this define your personality and trust your instincts. ❤
As an aromantic person, I always appreciate these videos because it creates awareness that romance isn't everything and that society should understand that romance, like sexuality, is on a spectrum. It can go from alloromantic, people attracted to romance/experience romantic attraction, to aromantic, people not attracted to romance/don't experience romantic attraction, and also varying inbetween! Some people who haven't been in relationships, haven't felt the need to be in one, or felt forced to participate in romance because they feel left out, don't realize they are aromantic/are in the aromantic spectrum until they learn what it is. Having convos like this opens up people finding out about that for themselves and normalizes the romantic orientation!
very true, but as an aro, it grates me when people say 'love' to just mean romantic love. If you've had love from family, from friends, from pets- you've been loved. Romance is not the only qualifier of love and i HATE that it gets perpetuated.
@@Giuli707even the word romance isn't just about dating, you can have a romance with life, or with yourself, or a place
my credentials: 24, never dated, not even kissed, i get attracted but when i think of dating a part of me gets scared and i don't know where to put dating in my life but i still probably would want one.
I'm 23 and never been in a relationship before. However, I started dating a few years ago, still dating now (thanks to dating apps), but it's extremely hard for me to actually find someone that makes me go like "Aww omg I want to be in a relationship with you!!🥰" When you're so comfortable with yourself, it can be kind of difficult to find someone who will be "worth it"...
By dating, do you mean being a ho?
@@Givebackthescarf Girl that's literally what they said lmao, just not as verbose as you did. Also, where the hell did they imply that they think they're special? The 'worth it' just means that the people they have been seeing were not people that they felt the need to integrate into their lives in the manner that you just described.
@@Givebackthescarfway to completely miss the point! 🤡
I’ve joined 10+ dating apps and have swiped past hundreds of people over the year I’ve been on them and I’ve maybe found 5 people that don’t make me uncomfortable in some way. I set my boundaries, I know what I want, and over 99% of people don’t fit the criteria. It’s a liberating and comforting feeling to know that I’m not going to let anyone into my life, but it also can be occasionally depressing that so many people can match with a good 10% of people and I can’t even match with 1%.
Within 2 days of being on dating apps (and only 2 days of being 18…) an ex-friend of mine found their dream partner and went on a date with them. First date they ever went on. And I can’t even make a single friend in a year. And that really sucks.
I do believe that meeting people the good old fashioned way is much safer and easier. Because people who know you and understand your needs and boundaries can recommend people they know and trust who they think could be a good fit for you. Whereas on a dating app, it’s roulette, and scary people aren’t filtered out by a friendly “bouncer”.
My poor experience with dating apps has inspired me to set a goal of making a friend this year. I want to work on getting out into the physical world so that those natural connections can occur. It will definitely increase my chance of finding people to connect with.
This is so relatable for me. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship at 24 years old. Dating hasn’t been my focus. When I tell people never been romantic relationship, they are shocked.
I didn't attempt to date until i was 26 and never kissed a girl or had sex prior to that. Most of my conversations with women before then were strictly online just to feel some sort companionship knowing they would never lead to anything due to them being so far away. After a few failed dating attempts after that, I think I've finally found the one now at age 30. My lack of self confidence and being an introvert definitely had a lot to do with my failures when it came to dating or even attempts to ask girls on dates. I'm in a much better place now and it's crazy to see how far I've come from my early 20s. So far all those out there, don't lose hope, I was that hopeless romantic not that long ago and here I am now with the person who I see as my soulmate.
I love being single because I love being independent and doing stuff on my own. I love the freedom that comes with not being in a romantic relationship with another person. I get to do what I want, go wherever I want, see who I want etc. i still have days where I want to be with someone but then again it’s not like I am needing it. I am fine being single I am content by myself but it would be a lie if I said I don’t ever want to be with someone.
This is how I feel
It's kinda crazy how relationships don't cross my mind until someone brings it up. I'm just that uninterested
I'm 24 and never dated. And I could say that it's because of a lot of things just like not really being that social. Also, I date to marry and most of the guys I have liked don't like my virtues and morals. They want girls who would just accept them as being shallow. In my experience, it's hard to even find just a guy I really admire. A decent guy is even hard to find, let alone someone who can be compatible with me. Sometimes, I think that I have to go to other countries and search the entire world to find the one for me because I rarely find genuine guys. Most of them want you for your body, want to hook up, and do not really have the commitment and intention of loving you. So, no thanks. I would rather wait or just be alone than jump into a relationship that doesn't align with my values.
Same I date to marry as well and I'm also the same age I don't date just to date. I limit myself to only going out on dates with people I have strong feelings for it takes time though.
Almost 24. I literally could have written this comment, as I was reading I doubled-checked I didn't write it. Every single thing you said is so relatable. At least I'm happy to know I'm not the eonly one
Sometimes I feel like I'm being crushed on the ground when I'm at a party or shows with a lot of people around me, and I see my friends around me having relations getting to know new people, and literally in a crowd full of people with the most possibilities, anyone barely has interest in me, and absolutely nobody ever got to the point of knowing me and love happening.
I’m 26 gonna be 27 this year and find this soo relatable. I have never been in a relationship or been kissed and don’t understand how people find it so easy to be get into them and jump between them quickly.
Just like you said I like the idea of being in a relationship and some aspects of it but if it happened I’d probably freak out. And you do feel like you’re missing out on something and are left out by friends.
But It does scare me to try and seek it out. It’s hard when you have no experience to go on, only making predictions on what it might be like from other peoples representation of it. It’s a difficult one. If it happens it happens and if it doesn’t it doesn’t and that’s ok.
I’m not in my 20s - anymore. I’ve dated I STILL don’t know what being romantically loved is.
From what I’ve learned it takes a balance of physical, emotional, spiritual and mental love and you should not settle for less.
It also takes time. Don’t rush. Love yourself first.
Thank you for this video! I’m 23 and I just got out of my first ever romantic situationship and I’m still grieving for it. Even though I didn’t feel loved, I still feel like I got something out of it and taking this opportunity to be more independent. Your videos are always so healing thank u ❤
Yea same! I was in a really short lived talking stage with someone who I thought was gonna be the one that worked out but obviously... it didn't
Situationship? 😭😭 how are we supposed to be okay as a generationn
I feel like even though i don’t know you in person we have so much in common. i’m a 22 year old girl with not many friends and i have never experienced love, i’ve learned to do many things by myself and in a lot of moments i feel envious to not experience these things. i also grew up very insecure and had to have an extreme glow up to feel better about myself and have people take me seriously. being a girl is so hard 😭
At least you got an “extreme glow up” whiney attention seeker
Smh
27 and i relate to everything SO HARD.
“You need to treat your younger self better because they didnt know” hit me SO HARD. I’m a middle child, so I had to make SO MANY adjustments just for my family and to this day did I realize how much it was self-sabotage. God. I’m actually about to cry because of how real that was. Thank you, Via ❤
dear via,
how much of a comfort person you are for me. for years i have lived w almost zero friends, and thru middle school i was being pushed as the third person from one friend to another. for two years of high school, i never found someone who would listen to what i had got to say. needless to say, i have no one to confide in; and previously i thought that's the only thing that defined me. but your vids made me realise that its okay to not have a big crew of friends. you helped me embrace my inner self which i would've lost in the process of finding a huge group.
with love, kou 🌷
I have noticed i never liked my younger self bc of how ppl treated her, but i am working on my healing my inner child by doing the things that give me joy
also im thinking about starting to take myself on solo dates too bc why do i need a partner to take me out on a picnic, the aquarium, go to the big city, or a fancy resturant or a nice cafe, etc like i can just do that by myself and enjoy my alone time
thank you for making videos like this via it helps me know im not the only one who is struggling with this part of me and is trying to improve themselves for the better
i am so beyond proud of you. this is so amazing 🤍🤍🤍
As someone who fears intimacy and an avoidant attachment personality, I always ask "Ok, what do I have to do with this person to have the "relationship" status." Like how many hours do I have to spend with you to get out of the probation period. But in all seriousness, you're right about the self-love. I observed friends and family members in relationships to understand what it is and you can tell there is an effort put into a relationship because they respect themselves enough to maintain something they want. It's like you put in all your time and energy in school to get the job of your dreams because you care about what you want. My toxic trait is wanting to find love but not putting any effort into it, lol that's why I'm single.
This feels really vulnerable to share but, 29 and never been on a date or kissed. I have had poor mental and physical health for 15 years and it makes me feel bad about myself. Thanks for sharing this, especially the idea of doing things if you were in a relationship but for yourself, like taking yourself on a date and treating others around you well. I’ve been on the cusp of relapsing with my MH recently and it’s given me some ideas of how I can progress with self love and also that I am not alone too, thanks 💕 and I hope if anyone is reading this, that you can be kind to and love yourself x
idc what anyone says via is now my older sister
not being loved doesn't mean you allow yourself to despise yourself, for those at their 20's out there still trying to figure out their lives, you got this!!
love u via!!
I used to crave love so bad. Now I just sort of gave up... But I do love to see other people in love, I guess I experience it vicariously through them
as a nineteen year old girl i haven’t felt this understood in a long time, thank you for sharing !
i just turned 23 and really relate and just want to send out love to everyone who had bad self esteem and mental health issues and didnt feel in a place to date in any way. i see you and we will find our way out of it
you’re so real, going to college and being lonely made me realize why some people value romantic relationships so much but i feel like i was able to balance out that desire to be in a relationship by learning how to start enjoying just being by myself
You might not even read this, I have stumbled upon your channel by chance, and connected with you immediatly! I'm 25 so a little older than you, but I share many similar traits with you, it's a pleasure to be able to watch your videos, if I was in the states, I would have loved to be your friend!
23, and I've never even kissed or been kissed by anyone before, much less dated. Part of my reasoning is that I don't really have any good examples of healthy relationships in my life, so I'm kinda scared it'd turn out like that for me as well, but I've actually grown to love my independence and doing things for myself by myself.
If something (or rather someone) ever happens, fine. But I think I'll actually do so well as that cool auntie who travels the world on her own and comes back with gifts and crazy stories for my nephews and nieces, but never a partner. It also helps that I'm so freaking introverted that the thought of having to share a home and a life with someone else even after I am finally able to move out of my mom's house kinda makes me want to cry.
Thankyou for this! I can't even weave my gratitude into words. I am 16, and I have a pretty low self esteem. My friends say that I am pretty but I have NEVER been approached by a guy, nor gone on a date. Even my crush rejected me. And whenever I look at the mirror I just hate myself. My friends get asked out everyday but I have never gotten any attention from anyone. It just makes me so insecure about myself. It just shatters me from inside. This video really restored that peace and happiness that I had lost in this ordeal. Thankyou for this again! Really means a lot.
Omg same!!! are u me??
22 here and never been in a relationship and all i can say is just this video resonates with the entire cells in my body
I´m 27, and never been in a relationship or dated, I remember when I was 20 and felt so old and my friends saying like you still young you are going to find romantic love and be in a relationship, pls do not do that, some days still hard, but I know there is nothing wrong with it. You all are and deserved to be loved
It sounds quite bad but its very comforting to know there are people older than me who has never dated nor kissed. I always thought that I'm being left out in love life. I found my people 😭
I'm 32 years old and hear your stories make me think about my journey so far... I've found you two days ago, and I have never met someone who makes me feel like everything made sense. Love that i've found you, love your vlogs and the way you see things! It feels confortable to hear you! Thank you very much for existing. Best Regards from Brazil!
hey via! i just wanna say your videos help me so much. i'm an 18 year old black girl, i've never been in relationships/situationships and i really find myself in the topics that you address, whether it be about platonic or romantic relationships, or just about yourself. your channel feels like an older sister that i talk to and can relate to. so thank you!!
Got u gurl ! I am 23 never been in a relationship, i don't understand it at all honestly but i came to a conclusion it's definitely not the right time , maybe we're destined for something bigger and better (in life ) , whatever we live through is getting us ready for tomorrow and the days to come so believe in the process girls and appreciate your Solo moment
Lower your standards people stop expecting six figures six foot charming funny muscular 1% people and look how easy it is to
Get into relationships
i tried being popular when i was younger but that showed me the reality of how superficial it felt to me at that time. and after a lot of pain by guys without even having a romantic relationship, i feel more happy and comfortable just being single at 20. im in no rush nor do i feel the pressure to find someone. thank you for these videos via, they’re something which assures me and makes a lot of us feel seen ❤
Thank you sm💛This video made me feel better. I'm 24 years old and lately I've been questioning myself a lot if I really need that kind of experience and if I should do something about it "before it's too late"??... but I don't want to. Of course I feel inexperienced, but I never really feel bad for never having been in a romantic relationship. It's not a worry that keeps me from sleeping at night or makes me envious of other people. I don't feel horribly bad about it, it doesn't affect my self esteem either. And I live my single life just fine, with plenty of other problems of course, but not specifically that one as a concern, until someone for some reason points it out as a problem about my life, like my family or whoever, and I suddenly feel bad??? It's so frustrating. I try to ignore it but I admit it's frustrating when other people too often feel sorry for you for something that doesn't affect your life at all. Why is it a problem for them when it's literally my life and I decide what to do with it? Why would I be worth less for not having an active love life? Videos like this really help you remember that whatever you do with your life, as long as it doesn't affect you too negatively and isn't a crime, it's not wrong at all. You are not doing anything wrong. It's as simple as that.
Sometimes, it's lonelier being with the wrong person than being alone. So, if it's only out of desperation, maybe it's better to focus on yourself. One thing I always try to keep in mind: if I'm going to date/marry someone, the only reason should be because I want that person in my life, and not because of loneliness, social pressure, stability, etc.
This is so relatable, thank you so much for uploading this and letting me know that I'm not alone
Thank you for the video Via!! I've been in that really lonely state and have had a bit of trouble getting out of it. This helped me to cheer me up some more, thank you again
it's so comforting to know that there are more people like me out there
my day literally gets sm better when you upload, after breakdowns this is the only thing that makes me feel better. thankyou sm ily
honestly your videos are so relatable and entertaining
keep up the good work 👍
Thank you for making these type of videos, today hasn’t been great and watching this has made me feel better🫶🏼
Honestly your every videos are so relatable and comfortable and your editing are so good and i also feel like its not entirely necessary for you to be in a relationship to be happy and all for me, just having myslef is so much better and peaceful❤
Thank you so much. I usually feel bad about being single while my friends are hooking up with ppl. This made me feel so much better about it. You’ve changed my whole mindset about being single. I will learn to love it and cherish myself. Thank you so much via. We love you 💗💗
this makes me remind how we all have our own tempo. i don’t necessarily need to feel understood when comes to this topic because i’m fine with it and i let things just come into my life so who knows who comes into my life tomorrow, could be a great guy i will fall in love with, but for today i’m okay with it and especially knowing that there are plenty of other people who have been in the same position is so interesting. we really do have all our own individual path and it’s great to help and support each other where our path share a few similarities.
I think that, in a certain way, I already knew everything you said, but it’s really comforting to hear it from someone. Thank you 🙃❤️
Hi Via,
My name is Jessica, and recently found your channel a few months ago this year in 2023. This video came exactly when I needed it, and I'm grateful that you posted about this subject! I've been learning how to find contentment in singleness but experienced some hard emotions that came with realizing I've never been in a romantic relationship. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping me see I'm not the only one who is in the situation.
You've said some very helpful things that will help me feel I can move forward with more confidence about where I am in life - I appreciate your videos!
i’ve never seen such relatable person before. you really make me think that i’m not alone with this problem and it makes me feel okay with being who i am. thank you for another cool video LUV U ❤️
you just made me CRY, so relatable
as someone who's struggling with mental illness, social anxiety and loneliness you said a lot of things i needed to hear
viaaa watching your videos is like a conversation with a best friend it's always so good to realize that everything is fine and that I'm not alone in whatever the situation is. Finding you and your channel is truly a blessing. Grateful for you! mad love from me to you
Watching you living your college life and going to all the places in Boston that I used to go gave me such a warm nostalgic feeling, so thank you for that
i have so many rants in my notes app about how the concept of love is so alien to me and how it makes me feel removed from the experiences of other ppl my age. i LOVE the idea of IDEA of love but im scared that since ive never had romantic interaction before that when it finally happens ill make so many mistakes and thus no one would ever truly be able to love me. i love your channel so much via, u and the ppl who follow u and share their experiences in your comments makes me feel significantly less alone, and i hope i get to be like u someday. i love u💕
I have been following you for a while now and I'm a silent viewer however, I just want to say thank you for being real and genuine out there. You're a gem and deserve all the happiness and love. Thank you for everything 💖
This is such a wonderful video, thank you so much 💗 I am also 22 but I'm currently in a relationship. There are so many things that I love but as someone who is also very independent it can be really difficult sometimes. There's a lot I want to do on my own, I want to solo travel and visit places independently and I really struggle when the structure of my day is oftentimes influenced by my partner. I do really love and care for her but sometimes I find giving so much of myself to someone really hard. Although I'm in a different situation it makes me so happy to see others who are happy and also thrive on being independent :)
it is sooo refreshing to have someone talk about this. it makes me feel less weird for not wanting to date as a priority in my 20s
i’m not even in my twenties but this is the most relatable thing i’ve ever watched❤️
Totally relatable! Glad that I've found your video. Honestly, if it wasn't for my close family, then I'd be a TOTAL loner and I'm soon turning 30. I'd love to meet that one person who I can feel great and comfortable with. It haven't happened yet though.
Thank you for making me feel better and less lonely!
Generally, I like being alone, but there's no denying that it can get pretty dark inside my head when this wave of loneliness hits me from time to time. Then I just feel like the people around me all have something which is totally unreachable for me...
you’re the only person ive ever been able to relate to on this. I turn 26 this year and though im still insecure about this topic and part in “my life”
this really hit home haha, I'm also 22 and have just never dated; and being ace makes it super intimidating to try to start. but I've come to just love being on my own and in a constant process of self discovery~ thank you for this really insightful vid!
The fact we’re both 22 and think exactly the same it’s scary af to me. I’m so glad that I find your channel Via, I swear to God I’ve been waiting to find someone I can actually relate with. ❤ so thankful with you, it makes me feel like I’m not alone and I’m not the only one feeling like I’m feeling.
New introverted subscriber here! Everything you said is sooo relateble and I feel like I've been seen because I need someone to tell me all the things you said. Thank you sooo much 🤧!
Thank you for this😭feels so good to finally be able to relate to someone on this subject
Via, when I first saw your videos, I felt at home. You help me not to feel lonely and continue to work on myself to rethink my values. Thank you !!! 🤗
what you are saying is not only sooooo relatable to me but also makes me want to love myself more than I actually already do. Sucribed
I have been loved and I have loved someone deeply. Eventually we broke up and it completely destroyed me. I had to do so much work to almost be where you are at the moment, loving yourself, focusing on your own identity. This is so essential! Oh how I wish I knew sooner how to love myself and focus on myself because I can't take the risk of more trauma of relationships.
thank you for this, I feel like I do love myself and yet no one loves me still wich is pretty hard and lonely like you said, but seeing your video and the comment section made me have a tiny little bit of hope :')
I’ve never related more to a video. Like this made me feel better abt myself bc sumtimes I think that I have to be in a relationship romantically, when in truth I’m okay without it especially cause I’ve never had any firsts in that kind of way, it’s just a weird sense of fomo I guess and this video kinda helped me remember that I don’t need to worry abt that, cause there are many of us who feel this way, and it’s just nice to know we are not alone in these feelings of wanting to experience a romantic kind of love, but that it’s also okay to simultaneously enjoy independence.
I thought dating was mandatory cuz everyone was doing that and had crushes here and there in my sixteen but now I'm 20 and I realize I don't wanna date anyone and the amount of crushes I have has reduced to none. Via made me realize why I feel this way. Thanks a lot.
You're literally the older sister and best friend that I've always wanted! You're so well spoken and your videos help me learn how to put my thoughts, feelings and experiences into words. I love your content, Via 🥰❤
thank you for sharing, and speaking out loud for every girl who need to hear that ❤️ (you are awesome)
Thank you so much for sharing Via! I feel that you’re bringing to light people who are outside of the norm. There’s a ton of people who either haven’t dated or dated very little and are choosing to be single. I used to hate it when I ate at restaurants by myself; people would stare ate me and snicker. Now I see more people eating alone and it’s f*#$ing glorious! 🎉 One of my favorite things is catching a matinee movie by myself and seeing other people sitting alone enjoying the movie without interruptions! There’s so much freedom in being alone & people often confuse it with being “lonely”. I also enjoy aspects of romantic relationships, but not at the cost of compromising my independence and individuality.
...the 'That's mean, you can't treat a child like that.' line... that hit hard man, really made me see all the bad parts of my younger self in a different light
As a questioning aro, I appreciate this video so much! I don't exactly have the same life experiences or perspectives, but I feel the same about dating and the idea of romance in this age group! Love yourself, and find love everywhere :) theyre so fulfilling
This videooo isss literally something that made me feel sooo like calmed down.. because I am 23 and never been in a relationship, and I also had the same thoughtssss.. like is something missing, I should be dating or else i would be left out, people calling me sigma and statements like with this mindset and standards I am never going to find one. Also when i see everyone around me, be it tram, bus, malls, college literally everywhere people finding the someone so quickly, connecting fast I was feeling the pressure.. But thank you for putting this out... and normalizing not wanting to be in a relationship and there is nothing to sympathize about it..
I lately have been thinking a lot about this and i came across your channel just yesterday. When i saw you had this video i went on shock, this is just what i needed. Thank you so much for talking about this