DA here. You captured the people-pleasing aspect of my DA manifestation. I had not seen that elsewhere. I liked being alone, and fortunately, I could self-reflect. As an adult, I was uncomfortable in my own skin. Learning about attachment styles showed me why, I could begin healing,
I’m an FA and the person I’m with (on and off-obviously 😂) is a DA. It’s a wild ride. I normally show up avoidant in my relationships but in ours I show up mostly anxious. It’s been a learning experience for me for sure.
@@healingwithcharlie hahaha yes, it sure is. Been two years so far. I can’t know that it’ll ultimately work out but I know as long as we are both trying to show up, for me that’s enough to keep working on it. He’s a wonderful man.
Are there ways to detect if someone is an avoidant beforehand? I conscientiously had no clue until I did my research AFTER the fact of getting discarded
There are some early possible signs like: - not wanting a serious relationship - not talking about the future or making future plans - not showing an interest in wanting to meet friends or family - mostly having short term relationships, or they haven't had a serious relationship for some time - when the topic of feelings, commitment, or emotions come up they may dodge or divert the conversation back to you, rather than opening up about themselves - they may have had a traumatic childhood or simply don't get a long with their parents There are many signs but not all of them mean they might be avoidant, but if you start to see signs add up then they could be an indication of an avoidant attachment
If you show some aspects similar to the Anxious preoccupied, then you may be an FA. Dismissive Avoidants tend to not show any signs that the anxious have, whereas FAs have both
DA here. You captured the people-pleasing aspect of my DA manifestation. I had not seen that elsewhere. I liked being alone, and fortunately, I could self-reflect. As an adult, I was uncomfortable in my own skin. Learning about attachment styles showed me why, I could begin healing,
Very good video!
I am glad and thankful to have found this video 🙏
I’m an FA and the person I’m with (on and off-obviously 😂) is a DA. It’s a wild ride. I normally show up avoidant in my relationships but in ours I show up mostly anxious. It’s been a learning experience for me for sure.
That's a wild combo but it can work so long as both are learning and working toward security together equally!
@@healingwithcharlie hahaha yes, it sure is. Been two years so far. I can’t know that it’ll ultimately work out but I know as long as we are both trying to show up, for me that’s enough to keep working on it. He’s a wonderful man.
Your channel is gonna be huuuuge.
haha thank you! I wouldn't complain if that happened
Are there ways to detect if someone is an avoidant beforehand? I conscientiously had no clue until I did my research AFTER the fact of getting discarded
There are some early possible signs like:
- not wanting a serious relationship
- not talking about the future or making future plans
- not showing an interest in wanting to meet friends or family
- mostly having short term relationships, or they haven't had a serious relationship for some time
- when the topic of feelings, commitment, or emotions come up they may dodge or divert the conversation back to you, rather than opening up about themselves
- they may have had a traumatic childhood or simply don't get a long with their parents
There are many signs but not all of them mean they might be avoidant, but if you start to see signs add up then they could be an indication of an avoidant attachment
I got to know from your videos that I'm an avoidant. But how to know whether I'm dismissive or fearful avoidant?
If you show some aspects similar to the Anxious preoccupied, then you may be an FA. Dismissive Avoidants tend to not show any signs that the anxious have, whereas FAs have both
What happens, if the anxious get what they want? Are they happy? Relaxed?
they test them, doubt them andpush them away.....