Uses your body to relieve their anger, tension , and to feed their ego pretending they want you ....all just emotional manipulation to keep you around for there own needs ...uses sex for connection starved of love and connection......All so true
This is a fantastic and enlightening video. I was so addicted to him sexually and physically and knew that was the only way that I could connect because there was nothing else he was giving me. I thought there was something so wrong with me. Thank you for letting us know that they did this purposely and it wasn't us.
@Aditi Kumari Agreed. That doesn't make for a good relationship. They get us so addicted because that is all they can offer us. Glad I kicked that addiction and I hope you did too!
@Aditi Kumari Yes, definitely difficult to kick the overall addiction to them and the sex. Once we realize who and what they are and the connection disappears, the sex with them is no longer good for us. I'm sure you're really happy to have these videos for the healing process just like I am. I know these videos are what got me through it.
Yes! I am tired of her selfishness...waste of energy. Never did I think in my lifetime, and I'm going to turn 59 next week, that a woman viewed me as an object. She basically baited me to break up with her she's done it so many times and you know what, I took the bait I smacked it Hook Line & Sinker. And I knew what I was doing, and I knew what she was doing. We have broken up and she still milking me to do some things around her condo would like some drywall and some painting and you know what, I'm going to do it this Wednesday I'm going to finish it get it off my list and I'm going to move on and give her the gift of Silence afterwards. I'm sure she's been grooming somebody in the meantime, and you know what the way I feel now the sooner she can go and destroy that person, the further she'll be in my past
So true…my partner was addicted to porn and that played out in our sex life. I didn’t feel intimacy or connection at all..just used. And when i was “discarded” it was by him withholding all intimacy..hugs, kisses, sex, pathetic. I actually saw it as a relief!! I no longer had to endure feeling used by the ahole. Never again. Build your self esteem ladies! Never let a scumbag into your life again. They do not deserve you!
Love that while they devalue you, they still expect sex. My ex-Narc was shocked that I didn't want to have sex with her after she spent the night sleeping off her being drunk at 230 in the afternoon. I told her why would I want to have sex with a person that couldn't be bothered to even hang out with me.
@@emilykathleennwhy the hang up about porn? Most men just use it for visual gratification. I personally used it when the Narc was holding out sex from me. Never cheated on her once and never considered it. No matter how much porn I watched.
Yep. They've got some twisted sexual views. Claim they are emotionally incapable and then cheat on you several times. Its like they get enjoyment from knowing they are hurting the ones they claim to love. Good riddance.
I encourage anyone dealing w this to research narcissism and demons. For me, this was the case. It talked to me, told me things he had no knowledge of, laughed at me deep from his throat. Very real, people.
Early into our only 9m relationship ther were 2 occasions when having sex i had to close my eyes as I saw the Devil in his eyes😳. It truly freaked me out & certainly remains with me😔
Thank you for this video. As difficult as it was to watch and listen, it describes my 18 year relationship with a narc. Totally addicted to the sex and needed it to feel validated and worthy in his life. Repeatedly lied to myself and turned a blind eye to my intuition. I was so completely lost. One of the first times we had sex I saw his eyes go completely black. Almost like they were disappearing in to his skull. It terrified me and I felt pure evil. Still it took me this long to really see and accept that I meant nothing to him. Your videos are really helpful. I hope all of us in recovery are staying strong. I'm only on the start of this journey, but I'm seeking help and soaking up all the knowledge I can get. First appointment today with a therapist to begin this healing journey.
5 years with her ended recently with her betrayal. I knew after the first 2 years that she didn't love me and that the physical and emotional intimacy of sex were 2 completely separated things for her. There would be long arguments with her ranting about all of the bad things in her life and directing all of that animosity toward me.... then she'd say lets not do this anymore, lets go and make love. And most of the time we would. I put a lot of this behaviour down to her alcoholism, but it has always been something more troubling with her. I gave her the best of me and I've realised that she never gave me any of that part of herself. Yes for the most part, sex was fantastic and regular. But again, I have come to the understanding that when we were making love and looking into each other's eyes, much of the time (though by no means all of the time) what i thought was her looking at me and seeing all of me in those moments of most intimate connection, she was actually looking through me at herself. Read that again. She was looking right through me, only to see herself. If any of you out there have ever seen that look, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. And always we are reluctant to accept this, because we are talking about someone we fell in love with. That alone is an awful mess to untangle. And when you add the chaos and constant devaluation and criticism, rage and emotional blackmail you receive from these people... it's almost impossible to work out up from down in your own feelings to know that you need to get out. I'm not ashamed for falling in love with her, for letting my desire for an intimate emotional and physical connection, in a relationship, to blossom into something truly special. I opened myself up to the possibility of that deeper connection. It's not my fault she could not do the same. In the end her criticism began to seep into our life with our friends; knocking me down in front of people I've known for over 20 years. Criticism in private became contempt and she began to lie about another bloke in her life and when i called her out on this i was accused of making it up and that it was my trauma from a past relationship making me imagine it all. I should have left her then. The final weeks were marked with her rearranging times we made to see each other. More lies about where she was etc etc. I caught her in a lie she had no way of denying. Now I'm single and she's pursuing this other bloke.... but in her own words to me, she said "he is easy to control, you are not". Jfc. What an awful mess.
OMG! I know THAT look. I'm 70yo & have had more than my share of partners, but had never seen it before. On 2 occasions it went one step further, when I actually had to close my eyes because I saw the Devil - freaked me out. And yet I still stayed in the relationship for several months UNTIL for the first time, he bellowed at me. This out of the blue & unprovoked rage, fuelled by alcoholism, shook me to my core. It was a first for me ever. He handed me the knife to cut the cord. Until seeing this clip I'd thought the overload of addictive intensity was - more than I'd ever experienced was the union of 2 Scorpios, only 3 days apart in age...... Although I could never understand why there was no intimacy outside of the bedroom - not even so much as a kiss...🤔
@@janfinale2039 Hi, thanks for the reply. I think what is most unnerving is that for a moment, when they let the mask slip during their feeling a strong emotion, you catch a glimpse of a total stranger looking back at you. I can only describe it as a very visceral sensation; not only did I see a stranger, she felt like one too, even from a short distance. Quite dislocating in the moment. And more often than not, it is only fleeting, so it's hard to not question if you really saw anything at all. It's all so bizarre. Coming back to this 5 months on, I'm happy to say I'm in a much better overall state of mind and heart. Work, friends, playing music etc, all have played their part in that and continue to do so.
There really are some vile individuals out there preying on people ..they don't leave bruises on the outside but the inside Sexual wounding is another level To all who been through this and are still working through this peace love and healing love 💜
Yup. As you know or may not remember - you just described EXACTLY the ‘relationship’ I had A. I had skin hunger and starvation of everything to the point the slightest touch was heightened and became a drug. Withdrawn a whole 2 yrs at the end that i felt like a junkie waiting on false promises. Horrific. Im ashamed of how it made me. Yet know it was grooming
I have one myself. I met my "perfect new wife" five years ago. After realizing she's a covert narcissist about three years ago it's taken this long to realize the addictive nature of her manipulation. But we discovered their tactics, so it didn't work the way they intended. Stay strong.
my favorite youtuber. always staying out of drama. always caring for their fans. always keeping it real with their fans. giving back to their fans. thank you.
Ugh! She avoided intimacy nearly always...both physical and emotional...and then she cheated and couldn't refrain from saying how "wonderful" her adultery was!!! OMG! That was such a horrible experience to go through....😱 it's been a number of years and still hurts deeply.... WTF makes these creatures able to do these kinds of things and think that it's perfectly fine to behave this way? Thank you so much, Anoushka, for explaining this! 💞
@@Ehuff it seems that way! They have to be inhabited with/by something or another to behave the way they do and if that's darkness or simply evil, I can certainly see that....! 🌚 Thank you for your kind comment!
The narc will tell you..."I don't want our relationship to be just about sex"....and then two seconds later, they pull you by the hand up stairs to their bed room. And you don't come out until noon the next day.
@@anjailbee They need sex for their personal validation. And it keeps you in a love stooper, and they know it is much easier to control you in that state.
just imagine if you take them back and go all in again,only to find out you are being played again like the first time but with a new twist.....this is one reason why i would never go back,,,,only forward
Acceptance of the truth is never easy but a necessity. Great talking point. Definitely an intuition or emotion I felt back then, but could not fully understand why I was noticing such feeling. In reality, all the narcissist has is sex or their body because their is simply nothing else there. There was actually a few times when she would break down crying in the middle of sexual intercourse and say I feel your live and I don’t deserve you. It’s complete mindphuckery. Thank you 🙏
They are damaged. It's sad, really. I feel bad for mine, she is so lovely in so many ways and I still love her. But she discarded me, moved me out, and divorced me to embark on a lesbian affair, which of course has now imploded. It's so complicated because we have a young daughter together. I guess it's all about boundaries for me now. Extremely painful and difficult situation.
This explains everything…I was cheated on for 3 years and it was the most toxic situation. He was the best lover and now I see why. It’s all we had really I was giving it to him as love he was using it as fuel for his ego. So glad I saw the light. Thank you
This explanation just opened my eyes! This explains SOOOO much! I broke down in tears at work last night. As I am listening to you explain the past 20 years of marriage just last month. I needed this. Thank you!
Wow, every thing makes so much more sense to me now.. unfortunately… I didn’t know until resently when I broke up with my narc ex after 4 years that people like this existed. I certainly learned my lesson the hard way….💔😢 Thank you for this video.
Definitely subbed for this really powerful information! So happy because this hopefully will open ppls eyes to this type of abuse. I was married to a narc woman for 8 years. Everything you went over in the short video, I actually lived.. Way better and away from that person for life. Entirely grateful for all the information I have learned about narcissistic abuse.
Holy smokes. Of the hundreds of videos I've watched about NPD. nobody has hit the nail so squarely on the head regarding sex: they have *taken* everything away, and the only time I feel closeness and intimacy is when we have sex. And that's why I crave it.
Thank you soo much for the bit of clarity you have gave me. I was with her for close to 5 years and now no contact with her at all.. She tries contact but I remain silent. At 56 I don't want to save/change anyone. You are spot on ! I watched many of your very accurate and heartfelt UA-cam videos and I am very apprecitive of your help. Thank you again.. I never knew of narcissistic...I do now. Funny how I was married to one for over 24 years and then dated the same.. you helped me to break the pattern tremendously. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart!
I've watched many online videos, and I have to say, yours always stands out. Particularly, this video which I can relate to. Even after consulting with therapists, I find your advice incredibly insightful and relatable to real-life situations. Being in my 50s, I've seen significant changes in the dating world, and your content does a great job of addressing these shifts. Please keep up the great work!
I’ve been with a few narcissists but my daughter’s dad was the one I connected with sexually the most. I didn’t feel loved unless we were having sex & that’s what always got me to come back.
Once I felt like that's all I was - I couldn't be with him. He hated me for it. He didn't understand that breaking someone down verbally and emotionally doesn't make them desireable. I loved him, but I would feel used, so I couldn't. Again... He didn't get it and he felt rejected. When all's he had to be was kind and loving. Instead, on his birthday while he was hammered - I got what I would call Hate and Rage Sex and was discarded 2 days later, after 7 years while new supply was waiting. It's been just over 2 years and it has scarred me immensely.
My ex narc had some sexual issues and the sex dynamic was just weird. First of all, I have reason to believe he is a closeted homosexual (many, many signs point that way) and he is almost 95% of the time unable to finish during sex. He is only 27 years old. He also has some fetishes that he is deeply ashamed of and although I was willing to do them for him, I think me actually doing that pushed him away further because it made him hate himself more. At the beginning of the relationship I would have said that it was passionate, but by the end I saw that the passion was really just over the top behavior that he was acting out as he was going through the motions of sex or what he thought sex should be, without actually feeling anything. Most often, sex with him would end with him either going soft or pulling out still hard and saying “sorry I’m just really tired” and usually sleeping in another room. I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.
The Narcissist Tudor at Ultra has a video called Is The Narcissist Gay? He says the Narcissist are hyper sexual and that their sexuality is fluid.Many of the women in the comments have been wondering about, if their Narcissistic partner could be Gay. JazzyT.
He's giving everything that I wanted to someone else now: the dates, the social life, the weekends together. He's even buying a house with her. And still he wants to keep me around!
Tq Anauska .. I am married to a narcissist wife for 20 years .. she is still with me but i am devastated .. tq for enlightening .. and help million of us to build back on our feet again . May Allah bless you always.
Brilliant explanation of this subject. This is a complex issue which is very difficult to understand when in the relationship and the withdrawal of intimacy can play havoc with your emotions and self worth. Can I suggest also re uploading this video with another title such as ' has your partner pulled away physically in your relationship ' as most people don't realise that they are with a narcissist or understand the term. This may help more people realise that they are in an abusive environment. Many thanks
I experienced this many times!! Especially at the beginning of our relationship!!! This is when I felt that empty shell!!! I remember thinking, who is this person I married? It isn't him anymore. In fact, he is gone!!! It was a hard reality!!! I didn't even know what a narcissist was back then, so I didn't know what was going on!! Everything you mentioned in this video explains it all so well! Thank you!!
Wow! You have just described what I had so much difficulty clarifying. I thought I needed to show that I am valuable, I am good enough, and she actually really only stayed in the relationship because the sex was good, and she would basically tell me that that's all that was really good in this relationship, and then she would tell me that I used her for sex that's all I wanted from her was sex and that I didn't care about her which absolutely was the biggest manipulation talk ticket that I fell for because I was doing all these other things and buying her this and if I was ever late she freaked out because she needed her needs met on her terms. I'm 58 years old I've spent almost three years with this woman if I still can't even comprehend how this person gets away with this oh, how she totally has gaslighted. This is a rude awakening. I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago, there's still contact, in fact I stayed over at her place on Sunday night because I was performing a show close to where she lives, we ended up having sex, and again it was just me trying to prove my work, putting my heart and soul into making sure she was pleasured a very high level, which is always expected. It's exhausting and I'm not even allowed to have my orgasm until she's had several. And you know what, I didn't even bother. After she had more than enough, I lost interest. I just feel like an object. The sex was the only form of intimacy and connection, but I don't feel wanted. There's no sharing and caring here. It's just a physical act oh, nothing special about it. I'm finally realized that there's so much better right there. I can't believe that this person just totally devalues what I have to offer. And now I realize that she has nothing to offer oh, she just wants to take an offer a few bread crumbs. I think I shouldn't even be writing this comment but it's the comments that I've read of others that have helped me so, I hope this might shed some light to some of the men out there that have been totally manipulated and used by women. They're out there that's for sure
My narc had no idea about passion. He hardly ever kissed me and the sex seemed very mechanical. Foreplay was practically non existent. Sex with him was just weird! 🤷🏻♀️
My covert narc had sex at demand but when i wanted sex she never give it to me. For Her sex was a tool to control and manipulate. To punish or reward me. And the feel of it with her was not right, there was no warm or simplicity to it. Like she is too good for sex... Worst sexual expirience ever... just constand frustration
Agree. I was dating a narc recently and I have to say the sex was horrible! She would constantly talk about her ex husband and how bad he was in bed but she literally just laid there and put zero effort in Projection all the way.
I totally agree, all of my other women were much happier in the bed, no manipulation ever. Avoid these underdeveloped creatures, they should not being called human
Narcissists want's to remove everything that's valuable to their target,they are predators who wants to control, destroy and dim another humans light! Leave and get healed! JazzyT.
They are evil doing that to us, mine was the same and only when he wanted any attention sexually (no affection) then it was all okay but if I wanted sexual attention etc then it would be unacceptable and he definitely used it as control
Actually a friend of mine got so exhausted from her narc that she cut off intamicy altogether. She has no interest in anything romantic with anyone. Her narc is the one that desperately wants to resume relations but she feels it is not worth the emotional or psychological risk.
That’s a key…They aren’t connected with themselves…how could they connect with ANYONE for that matter? Dang…yeah, it has been painful, however, I am at a point where I am grateful for my Decision to Love Myself through the moving forward process.
Spot on, spot on, spot on, many thanks for the clear cut brutal truth......my eyes are wide open..... exactly what I needed to hear! Glad to have subscribed! 🇺🇸❤️🇬🇧✌️🕊️
You're the best, Anoushka. There are no buts, just however...I think many of us have learned the pathology of the demon. There still leaves all the devil's advocates that enabled and continued to protect him, such as his mother and siblings. The ex-demon is responsible for his actions. Still, his mother master-mined everything and they all seem to live happily ever-after. I never want to see the ex-creature again, but that mother of his...I have not been able to shake her off knowing what she did throughout my entanglement with her demon spawned son. There is a specific H8 that I have towards them all especially that mother of theirs. Since 2020, pieces of my life remains fragmented and financially, I still have not been able to create balance: Career-wise nor financially. This emotional hurt is so deep, there aren't enough bits and bytes in any computation device to explain it all. Life is hell and I'm exhausted...mentally, spiritually and physically.
Ppl gets Ptsd after Narcissistic abuse bcs it is so stressful,others even gets Fatigue and that's an total burn out. A Narcissist want's to control, destroy and dim another humans light. JazzyT.
They treat their partners as an object... 0:22 I used to think the sex was amazing, but in the beginning there was amazing intimacy. I'm pretty confident in myself when it comes to making love, and at 59 years old, I know the difference between that and sex. I've had lots of sex, and it's a waste of my time. I know my purpose in life, and my life will have meaning always, and all of the abuse and all the suffering that I have endured, has really made me take personal inventory about myself, in fact The awakening is more of a rude awakening it's not comfortable. But at the same time I welcome this awakening. It's time for no contact, and I don't know why but I'm still baffled and almost to the point where I'm laughing and I want to call her laughing and asking her why is it necessary to treat me so poorly only to make herself feel good. And that's why she's discarded me so many times. She knows I was committed and she knows I'm not a quitter and she's taking advantage of that and has given her great supply and now I've cut it off completely. Her recent excuses are menopause. I'm 59 years old I don't want to be around somebody who has to pay a nutritional list a personal trainer paying $1,000 for some online body transformation training program thinking she's going to win the grand prize. She went to the gym maybe eight times and that's because I went with her. And she's really quick to point the finger if I have a donut or anything that might not be healthy meanwhile If anything I'm about 5 pounds underweight because of all the stress, but still physically fit It's not only what we feed our bodies but it's what we feed our minds with and all she does is sit at home looking at a computer screen, because she works from home. I've shown empathy. And then she'll sit there and watch some thing on Netflix called squid game or something. And she gets so caught up in it and she'll be telling me that oh this girl right here oh she's a real b**** this one a real b**** And I've heard her say that all about her male friends girlfriends because these guys call her when they're having relationship issues. It's hilarious. She gets supply from them. Anyway it's been a year and a half of watching UA-cam videos on narcissism which has been my company far too often so I have to except who she is , and to make myself permanently unavailable to her. Absolutely zero not a no contact...... And start going on a mind diet of positivity. It's funny because I was trying to rescue her and try to bring her back to that wonderful person I thought she was within the first 6 to 8 months, and now I know, I saw it from her nephew aunt Denise the first time I met them. Is that funny how we want to ignore the red flags. And the more we invest, the more red flags we see, and that's when we start beating up on ourselves for being so naive, and grasping and being desperate for just a little bread crumb here and there. Wow
I thank God I’m old fashioned. I saw from the getgo he was all take and no give. A lot of lying and silent treatments. So I held out! I said when I feel respect and love then I’ll sleep with you! He tried his best, every tactic to get me to cave. Then I saw his phone and was so grossed out 🤮. He was a pervert screwing anyone who would have him. I told him I don’t do whores and sloppy second Aholes and I knew deep down he would have just been using me and trying to get me more attached. This went on for 3 years before I discarded the lying psycho.
My ex was mechanical. No kissing (and we've known each other 26 years. We dated long ago and we were make out bandits back then) because he has bad teeth and he's embarrassed (his excuse, anyway), rarely any foreplay and just felt like a receptacle. He likes toys, I'm just not really into them as I prefer human touch. He was SO insecure about his size, even years ago, but I never complained. He was either all about it or withholding for control. He was more concerned with how he was in bed than he was being a decent person and not lying every time he spoke.
Why is the intimate moments so good? Its scary. And it's overwhelming. Makes you get confused how much sex yoo should be having and when they mean to you turned off then at same time you want to keep them happy. It's a messed up situation. My ex just broke up with me. He thought I was gonna ask him to not leave. I'm so done Too. I'm glad he said it because if I did it'll be hell!!
How come I didn't find you sooner I just went through this cause for me to give my self to someone is deep feeling and even though I thought the sex was wonderful I realize it was just sex and nothing I mean nothing else was nothing at all ~ I have awaken since my MOTHER passed with a lot of aspects in my life ~ Oh thank God
Good day Anoushka, I just found this video and I would rate it one of your best maybe because you do such a good job of exposing the Narcissists real self love during sex!
When I finally after a short term relationship with this younger woman? Broke up and her telling me she was sexually frustrated? And initially love bombing ? And my assisting her and supporting her going through her ankle surgery and offering her to come stay with me after her surgery as I was also caregiving my mother's declining health which my mother passed on this past October 27th. 2022. And this younger woman at the time we she wanted to end our relationship she said or asked me not to say anything to my visiting cousins who met her during my mother's in home stage of hospice. When we broke up? She also said things like ? You don't have a house other than your mother's after she knew for the last 4 - 5 years I was caregiving for my mother in addition to trying balance working ? I finally at the end? Told the girlfriend I was removing her contact numbers from my phone. One more note here. She was in a recent or previous marriage filled as she said or really bad physical and emotional abuse. To where according to her? Her ex threatened to kill her on a few occasions and even placing a plastic bag over her head to take her life in which I felt awful hearing of this abuse and in addition? Wondering why she stayed in that marriage as long as she had. I feel perhaps? She may also had caused some things in that relationship for those results but she didn't say anything about that only that she was the victim in that relationship. In close she and I work in the same company? And I do not have any contact with her. It all has been painful for me navigating through all of this she was or is 41 and im 65 year's old. I can already hear the responses to this. What where you ? Thinking. So now in the short wake of my beloved mother's passing and going through these holidays without my mother around to enjoy through the holidays with? I definitely? Feel empty as though everything with that recent girlfriend ? Or whatever that was? I find these days missing my mother greatly of course so soon with her passing but I am trying to strengthen my bond with God and his guidance for strength through all of this all happening all together in such a short period of time. Happy holidays everyone .
Feel for you for I was close to my mother. Caretook, sacrificed so much for years and years plus family fallout and jealousy. It was her last illness, is just when I realized how little the guys in my life meant to me. Put it all in perspective fast and it was painful. Nothing mattered more than the respite I got with her in my life. She's been gone over a decade now and I miss her every day. I would just say you had an age/maturity gap many guys fall victim to. About all age gaps like that won't work, it's a whole other generation, see this over and over again sometimes people still don't know themselves at age 40.
That is so crazy for the narcissist to have to go from woman to woman and do these things to all these different women knowing that he's not going to stay and that it really doesn't mean anything to him what a life
worse sex ever!! Was passionate in the beginning because I was infatuated with him. In the end it was so robotic and selfish on his part!! Wam bam, roll over and go to sleep, wouldn't even kiss me!!
Tell the narc you're not interested tonight see what happens. Generally the female type really doesn't have much to offer more than just sex. The rest of the world is an absolute mess. If you get drawn into a relationship with one of these long enough you will suffer. Forget about love because the only thing that proves any sort of love is sex to them. You get used to this and stop giving them anything and they won't be around for long.
Narcissists only has others for their own use,they are not capable of love and lacks empathy,they are takers who hates to give and only breadcrumbs others. JazzyT.
My narcissist withholds sex, its been since May since he has touched me and after stonewalling me for two months he says it’s MY JOB to make a first move and put on lingerie….even though he treat me like I dont exist ….I dont feel love towards him when he treats the way he does
You nailed it ive told him before when he thought i moved on after a 2month contact and i told him it didn't make no difference if i did or not he didn't want me and why would i keep giving you my body and i can have someone who really wants to have those privileges my love and commitment. No contact again for 4months now its I miss you..i told him he has moved on its been awhile now and he says To be honest it hard to move from someone like you and he need to clear his nutsack (im sorry) but after that i completely i mean completely no contact no crack in social media for this fool he needs a blow up doll asap 🤣😂
As she says, just a small part of a healthy relationship. You can't just be happy in bed, you will quickly realize you need more attention out of bed, and if not, you won't even want to be in bed with them at all!! In fact one should get this pretty fast, but many people don't, they just keep up with the sex thinking there's a real connection of relationship, then oops a pregnancy, so the lady sticks around, then finds the need to leave while baby an infant!! How many kids born to relationships that were not really connections at all. So many will just engage sexually without having examining if they are a good match, if there's a future etc. So it is both sides at fault too. I have easily walked away when I don't feel a connection and isn't it hard to fake passion anyway?
So weird, how no one understands how the abuse is. Its an ODD one. When he left after sex, I felt like I had a hangover and drained, I needed days to recover.
Yep just unfollowed all the narcs friends who followed me so I can finally severe any connections . This narc as been stringing me along for 13 months I know what’s going on, I’m strong very independent and the narc already tested to see if I know they are damaged by sending their ex to spill the Beans to me in front of them about their mothers abuse to them. After wards they both hugged each other almost like well done for testing her now I know she Noe’s what o am … 😂😂😂 what the hell. Now I pulled away for 8 weeks and saw them this weekend and guess what the narc literally threw their arms around my neck and hung into me like a lover full frontal body contact every body part against mine, was it difficult of course but I was conscious of what was happening, when o tried to pull off I was pull tighter and closer ! When I finally got loose I got a holding onto my hand a stare into my eyes. I was like what the hell!!! I pretty much avoided them at the party and left early without saying bye ! I have become addicted to the flirting and I gave In and sent a text saying sorry but we still isn’t talk still it’s weird!, ans Of course no reply and this is a constant pattern , this is what finally made me say to my self right cut all the associations off and stop going to the parties the narc is at because the narc is wearing me down on purpose after I didn’t crack the last time when they tried to hold my hand then kiss my neck and I did not reciprocate.it’s very messed up. Worst part is it stops you from allowing someone who truly loves you into your life because your hyper focused on the narc or thinking of them .
I feel this was done to me and in the end this last time she tried to guilt me that my love is only in the physical and is demonic love. She is the one who praised and took control of being sexual with me to start. She really jacked me up. Unless she really believes this crap for some reason. Idk
My wife does this all the time after breaking me down. She comes to bed “cry” and says “can I at least cuddle you?” Making me feel like I’m making her feel rejected and unloved. She then initiates sex. When it happens again and she initiates sex what should I do? How can I handle something like this?
I think I shocked my ex husband. About 6 months or so after he announced his affair 2 yrs earlier, made love or rather had sex which he hated me to say. Said it made it sound dirty. Anyway I could tolerate being with him until we had sex. After one afternoon right after and I can't exactly remember if there were words after but anyway he walked into living room putting on shirt and ask me why I made love with him Before I knew what I was saying I snottily said cause I wanted to-,it wasn't you',you just happen to be my husband . My want, my choice. He froze and said hmmm. So much satisfaction on my end!
I guess Im the only one who had a terrible sexual experience with a narc. We dated for 6 months and she would drone on about how bad her ex husband was in bed but everything she claimed of him was EXACTLY the same for her. Put zero effort into sex or intimacy but just used it as a manipulation tactic.
No. I think that is the most common experience. The 'great' experiences you hear about are either exceptions or from people (mostly women) who enjoy rough or mechanical sex. Not all women care about intimacy or understand their own emotions well.
Nope it's not just you. Mine thought it was a privilege to let me touch her and never cared a bit if anything might have been good for me. After 18 years she has tried her best to abandon me with no way of getting back on my feet after am injury. At least it's almost over.
Uses your body to relieve their anger, tension , and to feed their ego pretending they want you ....all just emotional manipulation to keep you around for there own needs ...uses sex for connection starved of love and connection......All so true
“Intensity does not equal intimacy” very wise words
This is a fantastic and enlightening video. I was so addicted to him sexually and physically and knew that was the only way that I could connect because there was nothing else he was giving me. I thought there was something so wrong with me. Thank you for letting us know that they did this purposely and it wasn't us.
@Aditi Kumari Agreed. That doesn't make for a good relationship. They get us so addicted because that is all they can offer us. Glad I kicked that addiction and I hope you did too!
@Aditi Kumari Yes, definitely difficult to kick the overall addiction to them and the sex. Once we realize who and what they are and the connection disappears, the sex with them is no longer good for us. I'm sure you're really happy to have these videos for the healing process just like I am. I know these videos are what got me through it.
Yes! I am tired of her selfishness...waste of energy.
Never did I think in my lifetime, and I'm going to turn 59 next week, that a woman viewed me as an object. She basically baited me to break up with her she's done it so many times and you know what, I took the bait I smacked it Hook Line & Sinker. And I knew what I was doing, and I knew what she was doing. We have broken up and she still milking me to do some things around her condo would like some drywall and some painting and you know what, I'm going to do it this Wednesday I'm going to finish it get it off my list and I'm going to move on and give her the gift of Silence afterwards. I'm sure she's been grooming somebody in the meantime, and you know what the way I feel now the sooner she can go and destroy that person, the further she'll be in my past
Starved of live and affection.
😊😊
They are such good actors
So true…my partner was addicted to porn and that played out in our sex life. I didn’t feel intimacy or connection at all..just used. And when i was “discarded” it was by him withholding all intimacy..hugs, kisses, sex, pathetic. I actually saw it as a relief!! I no longer had to endure feeling used by the ahole. Never again. Build your self esteem ladies! Never let a scumbag into your life again. They do not deserve you!
Yes, the withholding of intimacy, touch, hugs, kisses, and sex is a horrible thing.
Yes same thing sex was I weapon, all i wanted was to love him, addicted to porn, i got breadcrumbs
So bizarre and I would never let any man watch porn if he was in a relationship with me ! I would rather die!!
Love that while they devalue you, they still expect sex. My ex-Narc was shocked that I didn't want to have sex with her after she spent the night sleeping off her being drunk at 230 in the afternoon. I told her why would I want to have sex with a person that couldn't be bothered to even hang out with me.
@@emilykathleennwhy the hang up about porn? Most men just use it for visual gratification. I personally used it when the Narc was holding out sex from me. Never cheated on her once and never considered it. No matter how much porn I watched.
Yep. They've got some twisted sexual views. Claim they are emotionally incapable and then cheat on you several times. Its like they get enjoyment from knowing they are hurting the ones they claim to love.
Good riddance.
My present. He just called last week. Days later car wreck.
A Narcissist want's to control,destroy and dim another humans light. JazzyT.
I have never come across a loyal Narcissist ever!
Cheating on their loyal partners seems to be quite the norm for them!
They do enjoy it, because it gives them power and control.
Yes, they are like human recking balls they don’t care who they hurt and how many people they leave in their wake.
I encourage anyone dealing w this to research narcissism and demons. For me, this was the case. It talked to me, told me things he had no knowledge of, laughed at me deep from his throat. Very real, people.
And their eyes go black as night.
@dawnkikong637
Early into our only 9m relationship ther were 2 occasions when having sex i had to close my eyes as I saw the Devil in his eyes😳. It truly freaked me out & certainly remains with me😔
Their eyes turn black
Also use NO sex as a weapon.
Happened to
Me
me too
Me three
Me too, now I don’t want him to touch me AT ALL. He says I’m severely depressed while I feel better than I’ve felt in years.
Thank you for this video. As difficult as it was to watch and listen, it describes my 18 year relationship with a narc. Totally addicted to the sex and needed it to feel validated and worthy in his life. Repeatedly lied to myself and turned a blind eye to my intuition. I was so completely lost. One of the first times we had sex I saw his eyes go completely black. Almost like they were disappearing in to his skull. It terrified me and I felt pure evil. Still it took me this long to really see and accept that I meant nothing to him. Your videos are really helpful. I hope all of us in recovery are staying strong. I'm only on the start of this journey, but I'm seeking help and soaking up all the knowledge I can get. First appointment today with a therapist to begin this healing journey.
5 years with her ended recently with her betrayal. I knew after the first 2 years that she didn't love me and that the physical and emotional intimacy of sex were 2 completely separated things for her. There would be long arguments with her ranting about all of the bad things in her life and directing all of that animosity toward me.... then she'd say lets not do this anymore, lets go and make love. And most of the time we would. I put a lot of this behaviour down to her alcoholism, but it has always been something more troubling with her.
I gave her the best of me and I've realised that she never gave me any of that part of herself. Yes for the most part, sex was fantastic and regular. But again, I have come to the understanding that when we were making love and looking into each other's eyes, much of the time (though by no means all of the time) what i thought was her looking at me and seeing all of me in those moments of most intimate connection, she was actually looking through me at herself.
Read that again.
She was looking right through me, only to see herself.
If any of you out there have ever seen that look, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.
And always we are reluctant to accept this, because we are talking about someone we fell in love with. That alone is an awful mess to untangle.
And when you add the chaos and constant devaluation and criticism, rage and emotional blackmail you receive from these people... it's almost impossible to work out up from down in your own feelings to know that you need to get out.
I'm not ashamed for falling in love with her, for letting my desire for an intimate emotional and physical connection, in a relationship, to blossom into something truly special. I opened myself up to the possibility of that deeper connection. It's not my fault she could not do the same.
In the end her criticism began to seep into our life with our friends; knocking me down in front of people I've known for over 20 years. Criticism in private became contempt and she began to lie about another bloke in her life and when i called her out on this i was accused of making it up and that it was my trauma from a past relationship making me imagine it all.
I should have left her then.
The final weeks were marked with her rearranging times we made to see each other. More lies about where she was etc etc. I caught her in a lie she had no way of denying.
Now I'm single and she's pursuing this other bloke.... but in her own words to me, she said "he is easy to control, you are not".
Jfc. What an awful mess.
OMG! I know THAT look. I'm 70yo & have had more than my share of partners, but had never seen it before. On 2 occasions it went one step further, when I actually had to close my eyes because I saw the Devil - freaked me out. And yet I still stayed in the relationship for several months UNTIL for the first time, he bellowed at me. This out of the blue & unprovoked rage, fuelled by alcoholism, shook me to my core. It was a first for me ever. He handed me the knife to cut the cord.
Until seeing this clip I'd thought the overload of addictive intensity was - more than I'd ever experienced was the union of 2 Scorpios, only 3 days apart in age...... Although I could never understand why there was no intimacy outside of the bedroom - not even so much as a kiss...🤔
@@janfinale2039 Hi, thanks for the reply.
I think what is most unnerving is that for a moment, when they let the mask slip during their feeling a strong emotion, you catch a glimpse of a total stranger looking back at you.
I can only describe it as a very visceral sensation; not only did I see a stranger, she felt like one too, even from a short distance. Quite dislocating in the moment. And more often than not, it is only fleeting, so it's hard to not question if you really saw anything at all.
It's all so bizarre.
Coming back to this 5 months on, I'm happy to say I'm in a much better overall state of mind and heart. Work, friends, playing music etc, all have played their part in that and continue to do so.
There really are some vile individuals out there preying on people ..they don't leave bruises on the outside but the inside Sexual wounding is another level To all who been through this and are still working through this peace love and healing love 💜
Yup. As you know or may not remember - you just described EXACTLY the ‘relationship’ I had A. I had skin hunger and starvation of everything to the point the slightest touch was heightened and became a drug. Withdrawn a whole 2 yrs at the end that i felt like a junkie waiting on false promises. Horrific. Im ashamed of how it made me. Yet know it was grooming
I have one myself. I met my "perfect new wife" five years ago. After realizing she's a covert narcissist about three years ago it's taken this long to realize the addictive nature of her manipulation. But we discovered their tactics, so it didn't work the way they intended. Stay strong.
@@paulreints2279 ditto. Im still recovering but life goes on. 🙏🏼
@@Indiana_Blue it does. We got busted up, not broken.
Don't feel ashamed, the Narcissist is the shameful one. We were all duped. But can learn how to make sure we don't get conned by another one again 💪🏻
Yeah. It’s like drugs. It sucks.
my favorite youtuber. always staying out of drama. always caring for their fans. always keeping it real with their fans. giving back to their fans. thank you.
same as each cigarette relieves the craving caused by the last one , it tricks the brain into believing it’s ecstasy
Exactly ....... Similarly their addictions are transferrable
Ugh! She avoided intimacy nearly always...both physical and emotional...and then she cheated and couldn't refrain from saying how "wonderful" her adultery was!!! OMG! That was such a horrible experience to go through....😱 it's been a number of years and still hurts deeply.... WTF makes these creatures able to do these kinds of things and think that it's perfectly fine to behave this way?
Thank you so much, Anoushka, for explaining this! 💞
Omg I’m sorry 😢
They do it because they’re literally inhabited by evil. Literally.
@@Ehuff it seems that way! They have to be inhabited with/by something or another to behave the way they do and if that's darkness or simply evil, I can certainly see that....! 🌚 Thank you for your kind comment!
She wanted to hurt you. Sorry 🙏
@@alfx5432 She has!!! But, I’m getting help here from people like you who understand and have within them empathy! ☺️
Demons
The narc will tell you..."I don't want our relationship to be just about sex"....and then two seconds later, they pull you by the hand up stairs to their bed room. And you don't come out until noon the next day.
Omg! That's Soo true
Happened to me 3 times and we've only dated since May 2022
@@anjailbee They need sex for their personal validation. And it keeps you in a love stooper, and they know it is much easier to control you in that state.
😂😂
LMAO
😂😂😂 lol
just imagine if you take them back and go all in again,only to find out you are being played again like the first time but with a new twist.....this is one reason why i would never go back,,,,only forward
Exactly, don't take the trash out and then go back the next morning and bring the trash back in the house !
It’s all about how great they are.
Acceptance of the truth is never easy but a necessity. Great talking point. Definitely an intuition or emotion I felt back then, but could not fully understand why I was noticing such feeling.
In reality, all the narcissist has is sex or their body because their is simply nothing else there.
There was actually a few times when she would break down crying in the middle of sexual intercourse and say I feel your live and I don’t deserve you. It’s complete mindphuckery.
Thank you 🙏
They are damaged. It's sad, really. I feel bad for mine, she is so lovely in so many ways and I still love her. But she discarded me, moved me out, and divorced me to embark on a lesbian affair, which of course has now imploded. It's so complicated because we have a young daughter together. I guess it's all about boundaries for me now. Extremely painful and difficult situation.
Hits home for me. Thank you.
This explains everything…I was cheated on for 3 years and it was the most toxic situation. He was the best lover and now I see why. It’s all we had really I was giving it to him as love he was using it as fuel for his ego. So glad I saw the light. Thank you
yep, there is a movie on that "Sleeping with the enemy" (1991) which was inspired by the factual reality despite a distant platonic relationship
Yeppppppppp..................... 👍🤜🤛
This is so true, couldn’t agree more with everything you said.
This explanation just opened my eyes! This explains SOOOO much! I broke down in tears at work last night. As I am listening to you explain the past 20 years of marriage just last month. I needed this. Thank you!
Bless you ... I needed this information so bad
Wow, every thing makes so much more sense to me now.. unfortunately… I didn’t know until resently when I broke up with my narc ex after 4 years that people like this existed. I certainly learned my lesson the hard way….💔😢
Thank you for this video.
Definitely subbed for this really powerful information!
So happy because this hopefully will open ppls eyes to this type of abuse.
I was married to a narc woman for 8 years.
Everything you went over in the short video, I actually lived..
Way better and away from that person for life. Entirely grateful for all the information I have learned about narcissistic abuse.
It's all demonic. Help us Jesus 🙏
It's a Jezebel Spirit
Jesus was Stalked by Narcissists. JazzyT.
Once again you describe my x relationship 💯
Holy smokes. Of the hundreds of videos I've watched about NPD. nobody has hit the nail so squarely on the head regarding sex: they have *taken* everything away, and the only time I feel closeness and intimacy is when we have sex. And that's why I crave it.
Thank you soo much for the bit of clarity you have gave me. I was with her for close to 5 years and now no contact with her at all..
She tries contact but I remain silent. At 56 I don't want to save/change anyone. You are spot on ! I watched many of your very accurate and heartfelt UA-cam videos and I am very apprecitive of your help. Thank you again.. I never knew of narcissistic...I do now. Funny how I was married to one for over 24 years and then dated the same.. you helped me to break the pattern tremendously.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart!
Good video Ana . Thank you for all that you do to get us through. 🙂
this is sooooo true! and brilliant!
I've watched many online videos, and I have to say, yours always stands out. Particularly, this video which I can relate to. Even after consulting with therapists, I find your advice incredibly insightful and relatable to real-life situations. Being in my 50s, I've seen significant changes in the dating world, and your content does a great job of addressing these shifts. Please keep up the great work!
It was great during the lovebomb! She was wearing me out! Lol but through the years she was like hurry up! 🤦🏾♂️
I’ve been with a few narcissists but my daughter’s dad was the one I connected with sexually the most. I didn’t feel loved unless we were having sex & that’s what always got me to come back.
Once I felt like that's all I was - I couldn't be with him. He hated me for it. He didn't understand that breaking someone down verbally and emotionally doesn't make them desireable. I loved him, but I would feel used, so I couldn't. Again... He didn't get it and he felt rejected. When all's he had to be was kind and loving. Instead, on his birthday while he was hammered - I got what I would call Hate and Rage Sex and was discarded 2 days later, after 7 years while new supply was waiting. It's been just over 2 years and it has scarred me immensely.
My ex narc had some sexual issues and the sex dynamic was just weird. First of all, I have reason to believe he is a closeted homosexual (many, many signs point that way) and he is almost 95% of the time unable to finish during sex. He is only 27 years old. He also has some fetishes that he is deeply ashamed of and although I was willing to do them for him, I think me actually doing that pushed him away further because it made him hate himself more. At the beginning of the relationship I would have said that it was passionate, but by the end I saw that the passion was really just over the top behavior that he was acting out as he was going through the motions of sex or what he thought sex should be, without actually feeling anything. Most often, sex with him would end with him either going soft or pulling out still hard and saying “sorry I’m just really tired” and usually sleeping in another room. I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.
Yes I have ...
The Narcissist Tudor at Ultra has a video called Is The Narcissist Gay? He says the Narcissist are hyper sexual and that their sexuality is fluid.Many of the women in the comments have been wondering about, if their Narcissistic partner could be Gay. JazzyT.
@@nessauk2786same
He's giving everything that I wanted to someone else now: the dates, the social life, the weekends together. He's even buying a house with her. And still he wants to keep me around!
That video spoke volumes. Thank you sooo much. You explained everything.
I finally get it!!! Ur explanation was rite on!!! Thank u!!!
Tq Anauska .. I am married to a narcissist wife for 20 years .. she is still with me but i am devastated .. tq for enlightening .. and help million of us to build back on our feet again . May Allah bless you always.
Ppl gets Ptsd after Narcissistic abuse bcs it is so stressful, others even gets Fatigue and that's a total burn out,get out and heal yourself. JazzyT.
Yes I had to go fully no contact 💯💯💯 You are awesome💞🔥👑
Thank You!! Sooo spot on!!
Brilliant explanation of this subject. This is a complex issue which is very difficult to understand when in the relationship and the withdrawal of intimacy can play havoc with your emotions and self worth. Can I suggest also re uploading this video with another title such as ' has your partner pulled away physically in your relationship ' as most people don't realise that they are with a narcissist or understand the term. This may help more people realise that they are in an abusive environment. Many thanks
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I had an uncomfortable suspicion and this confirms.
Wow! The video I never realized I needed. Thank you soo much❤
Thank you a lot for thiis video! Your video's are very clear to follow !
I experienced this many times!! Especially at the beginning of our relationship!!! This is when I felt that empty shell!!! I remember thinking, who is this person I married? It isn't him anymore. In fact, he is gone!!! It was a hard reality!!! I didn't even know what a narcissist was back then, so I didn't know what was going on!! Everything you mentioned in this video explains it all so well! Thank you!!
I needed to stumble upon this video
Exactly what I have recently detached from with my soon to be X, wow! Thank you so much for this video. ❤👍🏾💯🙏🏾
God this is exactly what happened to me. This video has made it a lot clearer
Thank you Anoushka!
You are so right
Wow! You have just described what I had so much difficulty clarifying.
I thought I needed to show that I am valuable, I am good enough, and she actually really only stayed in the relationship because the sex was good, and she would basically tell me that that's all that was really good in this relationship, and then she would tell me that I used her for sex that's all I wanted from her was sex and that I didn't care about her which absolutely was the biggest manipulation talk ticket that I fell for because I was doing all these other things and buying her this and if I was ever late she freaked out because she needed her needs met on her terms. I'm 58 years old I've spent almost three years with this woman if I still can't even comprehend how this person gets away with this oh, how she totally has gaslighted. This is a rude awakening.
I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago, there's still contact, in fact I stayed over at her place on Sunday night because I was performing a show close to where she lives, we ended up having sex, and again it was just me trying to prove my work, putting my heart and soul into making sure she was pleasured a very high level, which is always expected. It's exhausting and I'm not even allowed to have my orgasm until she's had several. And you know what, I didn't even bother. After she had more than enough, I lost interest. I just feel like an object. The sex was the only form of intimacy and connection, but I don't feel wanted. There's no sharing and caring here. It's just a physical act oh, nothing special about it. I'm finally realized that there's so much better right there. I can't believe that this person just totally devalues what I have to offer. And now I realize that she has nothing to offer oh, she just wants to take an offer a few bread crumbs. I think I shouldn't even be writing this comment but it's the comments that I've read of others that have helped me so, I hope this might shed some light to some of the men out there that have been totally manipulated and used by women. They're out there that's for sure
My narc had no idea about passion. He hardly ever kissed me and the sex seemed very mechanical. Foreplay was practically non existent. Sex with him was just weird! 🤷🏻♀️
I can relate to this ,no kissing no foreplay just sex then he went to sleep or said he couldn't stay and left .
Exactly!!
Yes…
bang on!! worst sex ever
Thank you for the important information you keep providing. ❤😊
My covert narc had sex at demand but when i wanted sex she never give it to me. For Her sex was a tool to control and manipulate. To punish or reward me. And the feel of it with her was not right, there was no warm or simplicity to it. Like she is too good for sex...
Worst sexual expirience ever... just constand frustration
Agree. I was dating a narc recently and I have to say the sex was horrible! She would constantly talk about her ex husband and how bad he was in bed but she literally just laid there and put zero effort in Projection all the way.
I totally agree, all of my other women were much happier in the bed, no manipulation ever.
Avoid these underdeveloped creatures, they should not being called human
Female Predators will always use such in such ways
Narcissists want's to remove everything that's valuable to their target,they are predators who wants to control, destroy and dim another humans light! Leave and get healed! JazzyT.
They are evil doing that to us, mine was the same and only when he wanted any attention sexually (no affection) then it was all okay but if I wanted sexual attention etc then it would be unacceptable and he definitely used it as control
Actually a friend of mine got so exhausted from her narc that she cut off intamicy altogether. She has no interest in anything romantic with anyone. Her narc is the one that desperately wants to resume relations but she feels it is not worth the emotional or psychological risk.
That’s a key…They aren’t connected with themselves…how could they connect with ANYONE for that matter? Dang…yeah, it has been painful, however, I am at a point where I am grateful for my Decision to Love Myself through the moving forward process.
Spot on, spot on, spot on, many thanks for the clear cut brutal truth......my eyes are wide open..... exactly what I needed to hear! Glad to have subscribed!
🇺🇸❤️🇬🇧✌️🕊️
This is incredibly unnerving, once realising who they are
I thank you Анушка!
Narcissts all over me for (1) yr. wanting things then when I FINALLY AGREE I am told "NO!". over nad over and over.
geat insight spot on - I needed to hear this :) thanks so much
Eye opening! Amazing, thank you so much 🙏🏻
thank you very much for making this video
You're the best, Anoushka. There are no buts, just however...I think many of us have learned the pathology of the demon. There still leaves all the devil's advocates that enabled and continued to protect him, such as his mother and siblings. The ex-demon is responsible for his actions. Still, his mother master-mined everything and they all seem to live happily ever-after. I never want to see the ex-creature again, but that mother of his...I have not been able to shake her off knowing what she did throughout my entanglement with her demon spawned son. There is a specific H8 that I have towards them all especially that mother of theirs. Since 2020, pieces of my life remains fragmented and financially, I still have not been able to create balance: Career-wise nor financially. This emotional hurt is so deep, there aren't enough bits and bytes in any computation device to explain it all. Life is hell and I'm exhausted...mentally, spiritually and physically.
Ppl gets Ptsd after Narcissistic abuse bcs it is so stressful,others even gets Fatigue and that's an total burn out. A Narcissist want's to control, destroy and dim another humans light. JazzyT.
You are being tested. Hang in there, every little thing is gonna be alright! ❤
They treat their partners as an object... 0:22 I used to think the sex was amazing, but in the beginning there was amazing intimacy.
I'm pretty confident in myself when it comes to making love, and at 59 years old, I know the difference between that and sex.
I've had lots of sex, and it's a waste of my time.
I know my purpose in life, and my life will have meaning always, and all of the abuse and all the suffering that I have endured, has really made me take personal inventory about myself, in fact The awakening is more of a rude awakening it's not comfortable.
But at the same time I welcome this awakening.
It's time for no contact, and I don't know why but I'm still baffled and almost to the point where I'm laughing and I want to call her laughing and asking her why is it necessary to treat me so poorly only to make herself feel good.
And that's why she's discarded me so many times.
She knows I was committed and she knows I'm not a quitter and she's taking advantage of that and has given her great supply and now I've cut it off completely.
Her recent excuses are menopause.
I'm 59 years old I don't want to be around somebody who has to pay a nutritional list a personal trainer paying $1,000 for some online body transformation training program thinking she's going to win the grand prize. She went to the gym maybe eight times and that's because I went with her.
And she's really quick to point the finger if I have a donut or anything that might not be healthy meanwhile
If anything I'm about 5 pounds underweight because of all the stress, but still physically fit
It's not only what we feed our bodies but it's what we feed our minds with and all she does is sit at home looking at a computer screen, because she works from home. I've shown empathy. And then she'll sit there and watch some thing on Netflix called squid game or something. And she gets so caught up in it and she'll be telling me that oh this girl right here oh she's a real b**** this one a real b****
And I've heard her say that all about her male friends girlfriends because these guys call her when they're having relationship issues. It's hilarious. She gets supply from them.
Anyway it's been a year and a half of watching UA-cam videos on narcissism which has been my company far too often so I have to except who she is , and to make myself permanently unavailable to her.
Absolutely zero not a no contact...... And start going on a mind diet of positivity.
It's funny because I was trying to rescue her and try to bring her back to that wonderful person I thought she was within the first 6 to 8 months, and now I know, I saw it from her nephew aunt Denise the first time I met them.
Is that funny how we want to ignore the red flags. And the more we invest, the more red flags we see, and that's when we start beating up on ourselves for being so naive, and grasping and being desperate for just a little bread crumb here and there.
Wow
exactly what he dit to me..thank s a lot
I thank God I’m old fashioned. I saw from the getgo he was all take and no give. A lot of lying and silent treatments. So I held out! I said when I feel respect and love then I’ll sleep with you! He tried his best, every tactic to get me to cave. Then I saw his phone and was so grossed out 🤮. He was a pervert screwing anyone who would have him. I told him I don’t do whores and sloppy second Aholes and I knew deep down he would have just been using me and trying to get me more attached. This went on for 3 years before I discarded the lying psycho.
Precisely. Lots when she is in power. Locks it away when she wants something. Ghosted when she finds other supply. Very sad. I'm long gone.
True true true !
Spot on ........
My ex was mechanical. No kissing (and we've known each other 26 years. We dated long ago and we were make out bandits back then) because he has bad teeth and he's embarrassed (his excuse, anyway), rarely any foreplay and just felt like a receptacle. He likes toys, I'm just not really into them as I prefer human touch. He was SO insecure about his size, even years ago, but I never complained. He was either all about it or withholding for control. He was more concerned with how he was in bed than he was being a decent person and not lying every time he spoke.
this is bang on my ex!! sounds like the same narc.......maybe it was!
Why is the intimate moments so good? Its scary. And it's overwhelming. Makes you get confused how much sex yoo should be having and when they mean to you turned off then at same time you want to keep them happy. It's a messed up situation. My ex just broke up with me. He thought I was gonna ask him to not leave. I'm so done Too. I'm glad he said it because if I did it'll be hell!!
Hes still blowing me up. I been ignoring him.
How come I didn't find you sooner I just went through this cause for me to give my self to someone is deep feeling and even though I thought the sex was wonderful I realize it was just sex and nothing I mean nothing else was nothing at all ~ I have awaken since my MOTHER passed with a lot of aspects in my life ~ Oh thank God
Good day Anoushka, I just found this video and I would rate it one of your best maybe because you do such a good job of exposing the Narcissists real self love during sex!
Wow.. so powerful.. hit me between the eyes if I don’t walk away now I’m an idiot
wow thank you
When I finally after a short term relationship with this younger woman? Broke up and her telling me she was sexually frustrated? And initially love bombing ? And my assisting her and supporting her going through her ankle surgery and offering her to come stay with me after her surgery as I was also caregiving my mother's declining health which my mother passed on this past October 27th. 2022. And this younger woman at the time we she wanted to end our relationship she said or asked me not to say anything to my visiting cousins who met her during my mother's in home stage of hospice. When we broke up? She also said things like ? You don't have a house other than your mother's after she knew for the last 4 - 5 years I was caregiving for my mother in addition to trying balance working ? I finally at the end? Told the girlfriend I was removing her contact numbers from my phone. One more note here. She was in a recent or previous marriage filled as she said or really bad physical and emotional abuse. To where according to her? Her ex threatened to kill her on a few occasions and even placing a plastic bag over her head to take her life in which I felt awful hearing of this abuse and in addition? Wondering why she stayed in that marriage as long as she had. I feel perhaps? She may also had caused some things in that relationship for those results but she didn't say anything about that only that she was the victim in that relationship. In close she and I work in the same company? And I do not have any contact with her. It all has been painful for me navigating through all of this she was or is 41 and im 65 year's old. I can already hear the responses to this. What where you ? Thinking. So now in the short wake of my beloved mother's passing and going through these holidays without my mother around to enjoy through the holidays with? I definitely? Feel empty as though everything with that recent girlfriend ? Or whatever that was? I find these days missing my mother greatly of course so soon with her passing but I am trying to strengthen my bond with God and his guidance for strength through all of this all happening all together in such a short period of time. Happy holidays everyone .
Feel for you for I was close to my mother. Caretook, sacrificed so much for years and years plus family fallout and jealousy. It was her last illness, is just when I realized how little the guys in my life meant to me. Put it all in perspective fast and it was painful. Nothing mattered more than the respite I got with her in my life. She's been gone over a decade now and I miss her every day. I would just say you had an age/maturity gap many guys fall victim to. About all age gaps like that won't work, it's a whole other generation, see this over and over again sometimes people still don't know themselves at age 40.
Thank you.
That is so crazy for the narcissist to have to go from woman to woman and do these things to all these different women knowing that he's not going to stay and that it really doesn't mean anything to him what a life
Narcissists needs supply as others needs oxygen! It's all about their daily fix! JazzyT.
Yep. And they go to the one that can give them the most. Vacations , house, money, sex, fame, and they will destroy you at the end!!!
worse sex ever!! Was passionate in the beginning because I was infatuated with him. In the end it was so robotic and selfish on his part!! Wam bam, roll over and go to sleep, wouldn't even kiss me!!
Yes just sex and no intimacy. My ex didn't know what intimacy was. During devalue stage the sex stopped
Yes it is so bizarre and devastating
Tell the narc you're not interested tonight see what happens. Generally the female type really doesn't have much to offer more than just sex. The rest of the world is an absolute mess. If you get drawn into a relationship with one of these long enough you will suffer. Forget about love because the only thing that proves any sort of love is sex to them. You get used to this and stop giving them anything and they won't be around for long.
Narcissists only has others for their own use,they are not capable of love and lacks empathy,they are takers who hates to give and only breadcrumbs others. JazzyT.
the ones that I have been with wouldn't even clean themselves, before I did them, they weren't very good
My narcissist withholds sex, its been since May since he has touched me and after stonewalling me for two months he says it’s MY JOB to make a first move and put on lingerie….even though he treat me like I dont exist ….I dont feel love towards him when he treats the way he does
You nailed it ive told him before when he thought i moved on after a 2month contact and i told him it didn't make no difference if i did or not he didn't want me and why would i keep giving you my body and i can have someone who really wants to have those privileges my love and commitment. No contact again for 4months now its I miss you..i told him he has moved on its been awhile now and he says To be honest it hard to move from someone like you and he need to clear his nutsack (im sorry) but after that i completely i mean completely no contact no crack in social media for this fool he needs a blow up doll asap 🤣😂
I got offered friends with benefits after he discarded me omg ....
As she says, just a small part of a healthy relationship. You can't just be happy in bed, you will quickly realize you need more attention out of bed, and if not, you won't even want to be in bed with them at all!! In fact one should get this pretty fast, but many people don't, they just keep up with the sex thinking there's a real connection of relationship, then oops a pregnancy, so the lady sticks around, then finds the need to leave while baby an infant!! How many kids born to relationships that were not really connections at all. So many will just engage sexually without having examining if they are a good match, if there's a future etc. So it is both sides at fault too. I have easily walked away when I don't feel a connection and isn't it hard to fake passion anyway?
Indeed , so many people aren't in love and people are together for soooo many reasons or just in traumatic bonds and attachments
So weird, how no one understands how the abuse is. Its an ODD one. When he left after sex, I felt like I had a hangover and drained, I needed days to recover.
A Narc told a partner,that he only has sex to steal a persons energy. Narcissists are known as someone who are draining. JazzyT.
Yep just unfollowed all the narcs friends who followed me so I can finally severe any connections . This narc as been stringing me along for 13 months I know what’s going on, I’m strong very independent and the narc already tested to see if I know they are damaged by sending their ex to spill the Beans to me in front of them about their mothers abuse to them. After wards they both hugged each other almost like well done for testing her now I know she Noe’s what o am … 😂😂😂 what the hell.
Now I pulled away for 8 weeks and saw them this weekend and guess what the narc literally threw their arms around my neck and hung into me like a lover full frontal body contact every body part against mine, was it difficult of course but I was conscious of what was happening, when o tried to pull off I was pull tighter and closer ! When I finally got loose I got a holding onto my hand a stare into my eyes. I was like what the hell!!! I pretty much avoided them at the party and left early without saying bye !
I have become addicted to the flirting and I gave In and sent a text saying sorry but we still isn’t talk still it’s weird!, ans Of course no reply and this is a constant pattern , this is what finally made me say to my self right cut all the associations off and stop going to the parties the narc is at because the narc is wearing me down on purpose after I didn’t crack the last time when they tried to hold my hand then kiss my neck and I did not reciprocate.it’s very messed up.
Worst part is it stops you from allowing someone who truly loves you into your life because your hyper focused on the narc or thinking of them .
You're saving us alot of bucks paying shrinks
I feel this was done to me and in the end this last time she tried to guilt me that my love is only in the physical and is demonic love. She is the one who praised and took control of being sexual with me to start. She really jacked me up. Unless she really believes this crap for some reason. Idk
She told me was a prison with me and free and im so shocked. Its like she is playing as many different ppl then shifting it to me as im this ugh
My wife does this all the time after breaking me down. She comes to bed “cry” and says “can I at least cuddle you?” Making me feel like I’m making her feel rejected and unloved. She then initiates sex. When it happens again and she initiates sex what should I do? How can I handle something like this?
God almighty I feel so Sick.Inside!
I think I shocked my ex husband. About 6 months or so after he announced his affair 2 yrs earlier, made love or rather had sex which he hated me to say. Said it made it sound dirty. Anyway I could tolerate being with him until we had sex. After one afternoon right after and I can't exactly remember if there were words after but anyway he walked into living room putting on shirt and ask me why I made love with him
Before I knew what I was saying I snottily said cause I wanted to-,it wasn't you',you just happen to be my husband . My want, my choice. He froze and said hmmm. So much satisfaction on my end!
I guess Im the only one who had a terrible sexual experience with a narc. We dated for 6 months and she would drone on about how bad her ex husband was in bed but everything she claimed of him was EXACTLY the same for her. Put zero effort into sex or intimacy but just used it as a manipulation tactic.
Projection!
@@KidCrowder Yes...they are always projecting.
No. I think that is the most common experience. The 'great' experiences you hear about are either exceptions or from people (mostly women) who enjoy rough or mechanical sex. Not all women care about intimacy or understand their own emotions well.
Nope it's not just you. Mine thought it was a privilege to let me touch her and never cared a bit if anything might have been good for me.
After 18 years she has tried her best to abandon me with no way of getting back on my feet after am injury. At least it's almost over.
For 6yrs with Narcs - she never held sex from me even tho we werent a couple anymore.