@@lesam965she really betrayed herself. He asked for a divorce 3 times, he left 5 times. Aowa- the man really tried leaving so many times, why was she not allowing him? Light and healing to her sounds like this was becoming a hostage situation👀👀
I watched a video where a MAN said "when a person wants out of a relationship/marriage, open that door and shut it behind them....when a person dumps you, it's a decision he/she has taken a while back before uttering those words!
@@MonicaLeepile-fr3xuunless you’ve been through something like this, you can’t speak to it. She would’ve said the same thing but ke reality and emotions
I remember my mom told me when she met my dad he had nothing much she loved him regardless she helped him through her connections to go into a police academy, he got a good job great promotions and turned around and cheated on my mom, threw us out of the house and only supported us when he felt like it. Fast forward we are all successful without his help and he wants to build a relationship with us and gets offended when we don’t check on him regularly. What he doesn’t get is that even if we may have forgiven him, he didn’t take the time to nurture a relationship between us and him and so it doesn’t come naturally to us to check on him or visit him or do anything for him unless reminded or nagged about it 😂. I love him as a human and forgive him but it doesn’t change the damage he caused in our relationship
YHOOOO STORY OF MY LIFE .. EXACTLY WHAT MY DAD DOES NOW BUT HE HURT ME AS A CHILD 😢 I'm successful married to a lawyer and now he's forcing me to visit him
I don't want to sound like your mum is lying, but I strongly advise that you meet your dad ,if you haven't yet, and ask him direct questions against what your mother told you. In most cases women hardly want their kids to have a relationship with their fathers when they separate. They weaponise the need for kids to relate with their fathers. Find the reasons and reasoning behind from your father as well. I'm not trying to say fathers don't simply abandon their children. And I'm not giving them excuses. I was abandoned by my father too. My mom didn't want us to see him. I didn't know him until i got to see him when I was a young adult. I searched and found him myself for closure. I was already working and bery much okay in life. The void can not be closed by what my mom told me but what i got to know for myself. I realised that he was a rich man but irresponsible. I moved on with my life with peaceful closure.
I believe the older generation admire this generation of women who say “yes I love my man but I refuse to compromise mental health in the name of “bekezela”.
Thank God for these podcasts because people with power choose what to share and who to interview, but you guys are giving the voiceless the platform to talk and be heard.
Guys i know her since i was born. All this time i thought she was abroad married to the Italian guy. She was always magical, her beauty then was unmatched. She never took herself seriously. She has STAR energy, getting offers from agencies around the world. She was one of the first black women to star in an international movie. Her story is not told. She was humble. Im distraught to bump into this. Life will steal your shine through humans. She is still gorgeous for a woman with 5 kids.. However she sacrificed her dreams for this man and her family clearly. My heart bleeds for you my sis. I wish for God to restore your light and bright so you bless us with YOUR talents. You have brilliant kids, and ul do fine.. God is not man to govern like one. He will heal and restore you to greatness... Your story will help other women.
She loved unconditionally. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that she gave that love to the wrong man. She should’ve noticed and left sooner but we live to learn.
And GOd will bless her with someone that would be devoted to her nje yazi. Nxa amanye amadoda inene. She did love her marriage and respected her husband yhoo
Easier Said than done. Narcissist are a malignant entities. They are sent to entrap you in their demonic sphere with love bombing, breadcrumbing. I am glad she ist freed from that Bondage.
We have seen this time and time over. There were many men in my neighbourhood where I grew up who did this. There was one who left for 25 years and he was welcome back. My brother's father-in-law left for years at least 10 or so he returned when his daughters were older and getting married. He was there for the lobola. This is very common.
A financially-ish stable-ish men do that. backed by the family,the in-laws, the chruch and community. As the woman they are begged showed he did this for u "don't forget " then they look at the young kids happy to see their dad coz they are kids the mom protected them from seeing their father mistreat them. Then look at themselves still single " so why not, maybe he changed
@Iam_lehlohonolo this is true. Women get gaslit into staying with these men. Some will even be asked "does he buy groceries, do he hit you, he pays school fees for the kids etc". Women are given an impossible task of having to protect the kids, maintain the illusion of a family while the guy doesn't have that burden. This is conversation that needs to be had, ukuthi religion, culture and shame keep the women in shackles really. All in the name of being a "good woman, a good wife". This side she is revered, on the other side she is a joke whether she stays or leaves.
Some comments Neh, just wait until it happens to you directly or indirectly. Hold your head up my dear sister and thank you for sharing your story. God is still in control ❤
I get her fully. She is an African woman brought up with deep African values. She trusted the union, valued and respected the husband, protected her marriage and family. This world is no longer for faithful women. We must understand this as women. Stop being too loyal to these narcissists, but deal with them the way they deserve. Reciprocate the energy, even if it is in prayer. Because GOD will come through hard. Focus on yourself and your children, heal internally and externally, work extra hard, invest in yourself, be beyond reproach. He will come crawling to apologize to you and the kids. Get out of the shame and do not care what, who says or thinks. Let nature deal with him. No matter how long it will take. Just focus on you. You are beautiful. It’s a great lesson for you. In future date you in the next relationship by investing in YOURSELF. Do not put him or anyone on a pedestal.
This reminds me of how at some point my dad treated me, my mom and little brother . He kicked us out and brought his two sons to stay at our home. Today I bought my mom a house and he's not allowed at that house. He's lonely and his sons do nothing for him. He wants them out but they refuse to leave. He's stuck with them now. He's now calling me asking for help and I do help there and there but it's not the same.
He totally getting what he deserves. Karma isn't kind. May you heal from your childhood trauma. Check out Gabor Mate, he helps with childhood neglect and stuff.
35 minutes into this I don't think Marrilyn loved the man more than herself. She loved and stayed because of her dream of having a united family. Her forgiveness was based on what she wanted. For her to completely heal, has nothing to do with the man. She must accept that her dream of a united family is delayed and not denied. I can only envision her after the healing. Congratulations in advance.
I can relate.Had a restraining order against him but i realised there's no justice in SA.I was gonna die in that house,i packed my bags took my kids,left with nothing,rented a place,started from scrach.I'm at peace
May God continue to give you strength to carry your family through and through. The world is short of women who aren't afraid to start from scratch, most put up with a lot of abuse because they can't go back. Big up to you
The big lesson here is accept rejection. The first rejection by her ex husband would have saved this lady from so much humiliation. In my view this lady needs time to heal shes far from being healed. Take the man to maintainance court and keep at it until something happens.
So.true, the sooner you leave the better. The more time and energy you give to a self centered Narc the worse the abuse and the harder the fall. Trust in God to heal her and let karma deal with the ex
Your story will end in rejoicing. Keep your head high, find a church that builds spiritually, go back to acting, pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild. I did and im glad i started early, by the grace of God. Your story resonates with many of us and i can safely say I made it. My prayer life is what helped me and still does. God is with you strong Marilyn.
When she said, "this guy used to tell me he loves me everyday for ten years"😮... I will never again judge a man who does not tell me he loves me everyday.
She was presented with multiple opportunities to choose herself but she continued to choose the other side though she was rejected. Even now she is fighting for the man. She is very far from healing, unfortunately.
How do we even begin to choose ourselves when we are so broken and looking for love externally? We need to first acknowledge our childhood pain and how it has affected our capacity to develop self-esteem and a healthy ego. Until we are able to bestow upon ourselves the gifts of acceptance, appreciation, affection, attention and allowance of freedom, we will always seek these from others.
Being financially dependent on a man who is not financially savvy is shooting yourself on the foot. Always think for the kids because basala nawe as a mother
God knows Sesi, he is probably going to taste the medicine he gave you, watch the space.women ,let's not rely on men bathong,you will be controlled left right and centre.the one who gives you food will also make you starve. GOD BLESS YOU. DON'T fight or blame this women, he is to be blamed.
Im worried because she still wants to blame side chicks for her ex husbands wrongdoings. As a woman one thing I have taken from this is DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CAREER AND YOURSELF FOR A MAN!! she needs a lot of healing
My biggest wish for us as women is to stop attacking other women and name calling them, while we protect the men, the culprits. Many women have been mentioned here by name, but not once has the 'husband' been mentioned by name, even though he is the one that has caused so much heartache to his family! May you come to a point of total healing Marilyn, you've been through a lot!
I once got dumped coz I chose to pursue my career. The moment I moved to another province, it was over! I used to question my decision sometimes. The biggest lesson from this episode was that I must always choose me, pour into myself. I feel like part of the hurt in this woman is choosing marriage over her dreams only to be let down. I hope she forgives herself and eventually finds healing. Oh man, to love a person can draw you back and leave you soooo consumed. I hope she realizes the man she married is not the same man.😢
I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids and I can not even begin to imagine the pain this woman is going through yet she seems to be trying to be seen as though she’s happy about the divorce 🥺💔 She’s hurting and I don’t think she would’ve divorced this man had this man not filed for divorce. She seems to be blaming so many people and I get it, she’s still hurting and probably In disbelief since the divorce was finalised last month. This man met her at her prime, married and gave her 5 kids. She’s had to give up her dreams and leave the industry because of this man. This man has cheated on her with women who are in the industry and who are currently doing well in the industry, THE MAN himself is doing so well in the industry(I mean Shaka Ilembe IS HUGE!!!) I’m sure she must be feeling robbed of her dreams and I get why she’s just all over even in this interview and about that instagram page… The more I watch this channel and that Boldly Owamie Chanel is the more I feel like I might just die alone ngoba NGIYASABA ABAFANA😭 guys Amadoda ayakwazi ukukuhlanyisa uphila saka😭😭
Sana?! This is precisely why I don’t want to have kids. Men are too unreliable. Next thing you know it you’re almost 50, with 5 kids and no resources to live the life he had got you accustomed to. I see why she’s running this smear campaign, it’s justified. I just hate that it now makes her look like a mad woman and takes away her credibility. I wish she could have dealt with him in court, this man is making big money.
Laleeela 😭💀 your last sentence is everything! Amadoda enjoy hurting us. The 5 kids were to sabotage her and slow her down 🥲 umona wamadoda when they see ur potential, is crazy! He convinced her to leave her job and depend on him, knowing very well that he had no intentions of fulfilling his husband duties of providing. May we never leave our jobs for any man. Even falling pregnant for men is risky. May we never marry men that hate us 😭💔
This got me very emotional throughout watching this.She's Extraordinary Naturally Beautiful and Lovely with very fluent English. I getting to know South African women watching this podcast.
Oh my God Merilyn I relate to your life journey, so much similarities., the same demonic attack as I refer to this experience. Having been there. I can only say, God is on the Throne. Focus on praying for your children as I believe the attack is about your children's greatness. You need to cover them in prayer daily because they may be your challenge moving forward as they wrestle with this situation and can be misled. Also stay focused on building yourself because it takes a while. Your children's destiny is in your wisdom and strength.I wasted time after my then husband divorced me, his remarriage and his subsequent death, wrestling the marriage demon and not focusing on embracing my BLESSED NEW BEGINNINGS. To date I wait for my divorce settlement he failed to honour when alive, now from his ongoing late estate, 6years later today. These are the things that can hold you bondaged as I was. But looking back now I am so grateful that God was who I needed at my corner and saved me from myself and circumstances. May God protect you from yourself as that can be the challenge and grant you wisdom and strength and a blessed life ahead. Keep your eyes on Jesus and LIVE!
I honestly have to thank Promise for this podcast, what an eye opener for so many. I wish Marylin and her kids all the success and healing. I am so proud of them for speaking out! This was such an interesting episode
I think we need to understand that this is still new. Of course she has not healed. How can she heal very quickly from a traumatic experience that has been happening for over a decade? She did mention that they finalised the divorce a month ago. And she’s still going to court for some things. She has not yet had time alone in all this. I don’t understand some people’s comments honestly🙄. Support is what she needs not to be scrutinised. However long it took what’s important is that she left finally.
Mina, I believe her. Men do this type of behavior and for some men how they treat their kids is depended on what type of relationship they have with their mother. They will take care of the kids if they are still romantically involved with their mother. Some will go as far as starting a new family then act as if they are first time parents while they have other kids from a previous relationship. And for those who say she is hurt, of cause she is hurt. It is totally normal in such a situation. The problem with our society is that girls are raised to value marriage more while boys sre taught to value other things more. It is a total mismatch hence the problems. And sadly her religious boundaries also kept her captive to a situation that wasn't good for her. I don't think she is lying. We have seen so much of similar situations around us. So let's not act like what she shared is inconceivable when we see it every day. I hope she heals yes, i hope she continues talking. For generations women have suffered in silence. Sadly my brother is one of these types of men and i feel for his wife and baby mamas also. It breaks our hearts. I wish she( sis in-law) will also stop protecting him and his lies.
I hear you 100 percent, but sometimes stories can be similar, but it doesn't mean that's the same thing. There's a lot of loopholes in this story. Even with religion and culture, we all always have choice and free will. He left 3 times, and he eventually divorced her. We can not just ride the wave that men are bad anymore. There's accountability.
@Andtherewaslight427 I understand where you are coming from but let's be fair, regious brainwashing is a real thing. We can not underestimate that. Many women and men have stayed in bad situations because of fear of being rejected from their religious community. In some churches/denomination you can even get excommunicated for getting divorced. Her accepting this man over and over might have been because of that heavenly reward pull. Even her remark on "I hoped that woman would make him a better person", like the man is being good is bound on the woman's goodness. That alone is a religious way of thinking. I mean it is very well known and taught that the girls are responsible for the men's lust or lack of control. That kind of teaching can be very hard to break free from.
Agreed! However, ladies, we cannot continue to blame the others for our own hurts. We aren't trees planted and cannot move. We can move and heal. We can choose to change our narrative.
"They will take care of their kids when they are still romantically involved with their mother" May I add, they will have a relationship with their own child while they are still romantically involved with their mother, how cruel to the children!
Blame the man!!! THE MAN!!! THE MAN!!! Leave the women alone. The man is the problem not Ayanda, not Brenda!!! That man is the problem, has been the problem, will always be the problem. You must also be accountable for the role you played in this whole thing! Otherwise enjoy your single life and may your next love be genuine, gentle and real❤❤
You as the woman also become part of the problem when you know he has a family but that’s not your problem you want to continue with it, even going to the extent of telling him to break up with her
Are we watching same podcast. She's blaming the ex husband too. Obviously you choose to ignore that so you can bash her as usual. The women/ mistresses are not innocent either, they knew he was married.
@@NCarterMedoperative word: INVITATION!! Other women enter upon request, they will treat your marriage with the same level of respect your spouse displays towards it, you do not have the right to expect strangers to hold your marriage to a higher level than the person you are married to, he took the vow, he owes it to you! If doesn’t care trust & believe he find others that don’t care too
heal my sister i feel your pain my mom is in an abusive marriage of 23 years to date she is not brave enough to step out and she hurts everyday it affects us as kids my siblings are 18 and 13 its sad what they go through everyday i am not staying with them but im part of the hurt. i hope my mom one day becomes brave to divorce for my siblings sake and me and mainly her happiness. You will be well my sister time will heal your pain and well done on raising those well spoken beautiful children alone for years they are your blessings💕
Those women yes, they did wrong before God for dating a married man BUT the one who is to be blamed for the failed marriage is the HUSBAND! He destroyed the marriage himself! To all women out there, what are you doing with a married man? RESPECT YOURSELVES.
One thing I am learning from these interviews is that men don't know how to love. They only know how to provide and to protect. Love is not encoded in them. And us women we go ahead and make matters worse for ourselves by having children with these men. It then becomes difficult for us to leave because we think about the kids.
But they don't need to know how to love in order to be compassionate. They just need to have a conscience and know that one cannot move on from his own children. Even animals know this by instinct. You find monkeys looking after a puppy or kitten, for example. By instinct. That's all. They just be human. A heartless species does not exist. Except, maybe , alligators that eat their own young. Men must learn compassion. That's all.
Love is compassion. Love is kind. Love is knows no envy. Love is patient. So men need to know how to love in general. Love comes with all those things. Men don't know how to love.
They dont know how to protect either. Protection is not known to them. How was he protecting when his financial security was broken to protect his family. When he left for three years how was he protecting his family when he was absence. They dont know anything but to make kids and cheat
One thing for sure men get bored easily and fast. You can have as many kids as u want with him but when is time for him to leave, he doesn't think twice
I love this Interview so much. I am going through a major separation and I am in therapy. I went through hell. I must however, say my ex came from a loving and dotting Family. He in Turn was a horrible to me. My friends however, have husbands who come from broken homes and their wives the Same Thing.But they are in great marriages that are so wonderful. Some men are Just WHO they are.
Thank you for your courage to speak out, some of us who went through what you went through understand why you kept on forgiving, as an ex pastor s wife , I was told to pray and continue to forgive, ... Is so hard to make marriage with a narcissist work, the battle never ends. I pray for your healing and restoration ❤
I really winced watching & listening to this. She is disoriented because she is obviously broken, stripped of her sanity, & has not yet healed "by the look of things." And it is OKAY; I dont think anyone gets married to be divorced with kids. With that being said, how I wish she'd waited a few months to evaluate her post-divorce feelings. Eish & refrain from talking about her ex-in-law's & individuals in his life, he made a mess & treated her disrespectfully; it came across as resentful & repulsive. She needs her friends & family right now to vent enough & get her *bearings back*. That she won't have to put those kids in the middle & can return stronger for herself & them. She appears to be playing in his gallery right now. But let it be, if this aids in her healing. Human relationships are not easy. Phrase true to saying time heals everything. Give it time. *Give it time babygirl*❤️
I understand her, I have been there. You put in everything until you’re empty. I almost took my own life but I was saved by the grace of God. Sometimes the cut is too deep that healing seems so far away. I wish both the man and their side chicks could understand the pain they cause. I can only wish her speedy healing if ever possible and find purpose and love from her children.
@@ZindogaZai1 Fully understand. 🫂some of us went through that passage, we thank the `lords social media was in its infancy. Therapy does wonders but it's a journey quite a long and annoying journey looking back am grateful for having the tenacity to go through it. it takes time and wishing her all the best of luck.💞
I know the pain that these children and their mother are going through. Because me, my siblings and my mother we are facing the same problem. As I'm listening to her speaking it feels like she is telling my story because our father is doing exactly what her ex husband is doing. And what hurts the most is that our father took everything my mother had and we are left with nothing but poverty and the law does nothing about that.😢
The most painful thing is to love someone who knows that no matter what he does you will still forgive him😢that destroys you as a person 😢I feel her pains.Children are born in marriage now they are treated like they were never wanted 💔 life sucks 😢
Thank you for sharing and teaching through your painful experience. This is precisely one of the reasons I support the notion that 98% of the time, 'MARRIAGE IS A SCAM'
Marilyn swiftly move on my dear sister. Ask God for strength and wisdom to be able to deal with this man without breaking. He's probably enjoying this... It's 2024, find a way to HEAL... May God give you strength and may you remember who MARILYN is🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Don't oversimplify her story. With children together, lots of them at that, she's allowed to take her time. She's an intelligent woman who knows what she needs to do when. Not in anyone else's time.
I cried when you mentioned how your son took the news. Life doesn’t make sense in the flesh or in the present which is here on earth. Marylin I know you will understand what I’m saying. You played your part respectfully, honourably and obediently. Greater is your reward to come. And now that this chapter of your marriage chapter is closed, you are still young and can now start living again. God bless you.
It doesn't matter whether people understand why shes doing this interview, let her be, if this will help her move on allow her, dont come here as if your man is present in your childs life or in your relationship, If this is a strategy for her so what. You people need to walk in her shoes and stop shooting your mouths. You acting as if when your man told u he was done u didnt throw tantrums or begged him to stay mxm leave this lady alone maybe talking to Promise will heal her, maybe she will be able to let go and move on, leave her alone, leave her alone. Mxm
Chesaaaaa girlllll I love your background 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 (thank you for removing di aparo tsele😂) And look at how beautiful you are🎉🎉🎉 make up...hair..outfit on point❤
Narcissist,they play mind games.They are so good with giving mixed signals,hot and cold.They torture you and the kids,they make you question your sanity. They up and leave when you just had the best night,leaving you questioning what you did wrong and when you ask the answer is always "everything is fine". Forgive and let him go my darling,God is in control.
Your story is 80% my story, my ex hasn’t had a relationship with our kids for 20 years, was also married very young for 10 years, my sister we need to meet, we have so much in common. You’ll be okay girl ❤
Marylin still has a long way to go in terms of healing. It doesn’t seem to me like she has accepted that he left her so many times, for other women and it was his choice and his alone. The moment she reconciles the action of being left not once but many times- many areas of her pain, will be healed and it will have nothing to do with the women.
Healing starts when you stop pointing a finger at the other person and start pointing it back at yourself. Trying to understand why you allowed yourself to be treated that way and why you stayed. A lot of which is rooted in childhood trauma. It starts with ADDRESSING - looking directly at the issue, then PROCESSING - acknowleding and paying attention to your feelings, and exploring their implications, then RESOLVING - sitting with your feelings until they change or reveal a path that leads deeper into yourself.
Bcos she was a faithful wife and loved him with All heart l can relate.now l look at myself and be like girl we you crazy protecting someone who didn't love or care about you
@PRUDENT05 just because it us not easy that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it .Getting a degree is not easy but almost everyone is doing it .Anyone can leave a toxic environment , you just need to love yourself enough to do it .
Only two people have the key to their marriage gate. Anyone who comes through the gate is given permission by either one or both parties! Unfortunately there are opportunists in life who will gladly walk through the gate even though the invitation is illicit!
I understand why she is sharing her life story. This will deliver a lot of wives going through what she went through 10 years ago. This will give many courage to choose themselves and trust God to provide. This will give many ill-treated and disrespected wives the strength to put loyalty aside and be loyal to themselves and their children. Many see her mistakes, but I see her bravery, her resilience, her faith, and unfortunately she put it in the wrong man. God will fight for you Marilyn, continue to seek the face of God and put your children first. The rest will sort itself out.
She is hurt and angry because the ex husband does not support the kids. I understand where she is coming from. It's not easy to be a single mom😭😥. When the kids are old and taking care of themselves she will forget and move on.
Go to set mama ... Police will accompany you... That's peace of mind I tell you.. I rocked up to serve him at his home .. the disappointment and embarrassment but it had to be done ... Please consider this. It's for your kids..
And it’s comforting for a woman to put the problem on another woman! It’s clear that Brenda is not the problem as he moved on to others. You chose an irresponsible man who lacks integrity and who couldn’t commit to one woman, it’s painful to accept but he’s 100 percent accountable for all the pain. Stay financially independent women! Marriage gives no man the right to determine how much you work. It will eventually end if it’s not meant to be anyways. Work, work, work!
My heart breaks for this woman. I really wish women would stop idolising marriage to this extent. Giving up the best years of your life for a man who belittles and disrespects you so much. You’re worth so much more and your value is not determined by the ring, if the institution breaks you…LEAVE! I hope she finds healing and realises her worth 😢
My heart goes out to her no one deserves this especially the innocent children. The fact that she is still standing and can narrate her story is commendable. Women go through the most in this institution called marriage and many suffer in silence and the children helplessly take it all. I pray for healing for the lady and her children. One lesson for everyone - if people show you who they are believe them. Hurt people hurt others and those that have trauma from abandonment and do not heal are generally incapable of having healthy relationships and will in turn abandon their loved ones. This one was beyond you and you did not know any better like some us because you were young. Work on yourself and your children to heal and all the best 🙏🏽🫂
The husband was a Narcissist. Study narcissism, it will help you understand his behavior. They thrive on empathetic people. Tx for sharing your story. You not the only 1. He did that because it seemed u wanted it more than him which is not fair.
Poor Empaths attract these monsters. It's been happening for centuries my sister. Try to manage yourself, Narcs don't change. They are always looking for supply. He's going to dump the other ladies as well. Focus on your business & the kids.
True and it can assist a lot of people. For them, it's the supply you are just another tick on their bucket list. However, she should never have allowed him back the first time.
Marilyn…sana… you are so beautiful…a gem…a black beauty! So respectful and yes keep your head up!But Mamela sesi u dhubo Luyedlula and you will heal and believe me you will . I’m an old woman and my heart goes out to you. But kuzolunga sana. Don’t let history dictate your future.. Stay strong, safe and BLESSED..
Sad story but as mothers let’s try and do better for ourselves and kids, the longer we stay in such marriages this hurt kids the most. Love and light to her
Yoh Promise has a heart of gold, she has a gift of healing and not shy to show her emotions which is good because she is strongly connecting with their emotions. I love you Promise you are doing an incredible job. 😍💐
My grandmother once said to me as a young girl going off to college "NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU MORE THAN ONCE THAT HE DON'T LOVE YOU AND DON'T WANNA BE WITH YOU NO MORE"..
Great episode, she spoke succintly. She was dealing with a broken, covert narcisist who was actually trauma bonding her to him by Loving her boldly then leaving her high and dry as and when he pleased! When he left the 1st time she should've believed his actions and not his words. She should've used the time to start the healing process cause knowing these types of men, he came back and didn't even wanna heal himself or take full accountability. He probably would return and just tell her, I love you, people don't wanna see us win, you go to counseling so you can heal whilst he didn't lift a finger. Hope she can now start the process of healing and the Universe will restore what she feels she may have lost ten fold! She should learn to protect her energy and let go of him or whatever is happening in his life, it is not her business nor her baby to worry about... Hope she pours into herself all that love and dedication she poured into a deadbeat and she will see the wonder and transformation that happens within... Focus on you sisi and do not let nobody steal your peace or try to mess with your mental, cut him off his oxygen supply which is your attention, narcisists thrive on that whether it is good or bad attention as long as they are torturing you, they are good! Love and Light❤💞❤
Marilyn, you are gorgeous yhoo! May you heal. Your children are beautifull and wholesome too. May 2024 be the beginning of mended wounds and joy in your family. ❤❤
This man saw this woman's light and talent and he wanted to disable her by telling"No dont go to work, it is not worth the money" telling her that they must upgrade meanwhile he is recklessly spending was an attempt to drown her in financial distress. She is so well spoken, beautiful and talented, I believe more opportunities will come for her.
This was such a great interview/discussion. I wish the best for Marrilyn and Promise did a good job. Marrilyn has been so strong, I hope she finds and keeps her happiness.
It’s ok to hurt. Don’t allow people to make you feel like you are unreasonable or crazy. It doesn’t matter. You are going through this. Life is fair, the universe will respond for you. Take my word. I’m also praying for you
Yo my babes, you are still very young, I've been going through this for now 31 years, court battles, bribery and all, I'm still in that fight, I carry my son's pain daily, I feel I've been abused financially mentally materially socially in every way. The courts are not doing enough, bribery has become rife, it seems there's no help at all for women and our children, it's time to fight this in different ways, and you right, they need to be exposed publicly, named and shamed. I'm born again but this tends to affect you so much, it's such a heavy burden, ibuhlungu kakhulu, I'm sitting here and I'm in deep pain as I listen to you talking, you relating my story of over 31 years of a man who has farms and has enriched himself with my son's portion, I feel alone and prayer has become such an effort to, sorry my babes
Marrilyn , may Jehova Rapha heal you. All is not lost, you and your kids are still alive God will restore you. You are now free, pick up the pieces and focus on yourself, yes you can!! you have what it takes !!! you are a powerhouse . Eish ! some 15 years ago I would agree with you that the woman was wrecking your marriage, but today please allow me to say all the blame should be on your ex-husband who betrayed you and disrespected the covenant and not the women. I know it is a natural instinct to protect one's spouse , but he wracked it. Thaat is my take
I think she need to stop holding other women accountable, they did nothing wrong whether they knew about her or not then she’ll start healing. She’s so hurt and torn but God repairs, restores and renews. God has you in mind
Don't judge you will never know what's happening behind the curtains. We always stay in a relationship and make excuses about children not knowing that them experiencing the fights and parents stresses make things worse
I feel the pain girl and know what you are talking about. God will reward you and all what, he has done will never go unpunished and he was not worth what you worth. thanks for not stooping you are the hero on this one.
I don't think she's blushing because she still loves him. Moments don't cease to be beautiful and amazing just because a person has wronged you. She's blushing because that moment made her feel like that at the time. When I recall a moment with my ex and it was funny, I laugh but it doesn't mean I love him.
And that was her downfall! She adored an irresponsible man that didn’t want her anymore. Such insults! Calling off divorce, getting forgiven and being rewarded with a baby! Where is the society that calls men out!
So what if she still love her ex, at least her love was genuine for the person she married. She's allowed to take all the time she needs. That's normal
I’ve watched till the end and gosh it’s heart trenching 😢 staying and kept on fighting for the marriage to the point where you try and get the girls father involved to help save your marriage my gosh. I am so sorry .The father was right to say he is not going to involve himself. I personally feel that the way you handled the whole thing has led to delayed healing ❤️🩹 I wish you had accepted the situation for what is was sooner than later & even now. Let go , whole heartedly and watch God elevate you 🙏🏽 I know the financial & emotional damage it’s done to you & your children. The hurt it has caused BUT let go. It’s time Merilyn . You are a gorgeous gorgeous, beautiful talented loving woman. You are a QUEEN. You are going to be ok. It’s going to be alright. Your babies will be alright. I genuinely from the bottom of my heart wish you healing, the love you deserve & prosperity. Lots of love & hugs 🫂
Watch the kids episode here: ua-cam.com/video/B4E-K5udyE8/v-deo.htmlsi=KsPBnvgXqkiUib4M
Lesson taken from this, never allow a person to ask you for a divorce more than once. Grant them their wish the 1st time!
Weitsi keng especially when it comes from a man yoh I feel like she betrayed herself so much.
@@lesam965she really betrayed herself. He asked for a divorce 3 times, he left 5 times. Aowa- the man really tried leaving so many times, why was she not allowing him? Light and healing to her sounds like this was becoming a hostage situation👀👀
I watched a video where a MAN said "when a person wants out of a relationship/marriage, open that door and shut it behind them....when a person dumps you, it's a decision he/she has taken a while back before uttering those words!
She's addicted to pain, i mean why put yourself and your kids through this for so many years.. Noo!
@@MonicaLeepile-fr3xuunless you’ve been through something like this, you can’t speak to it. She would’ve said the same thing but ke reality and emotions
I remember my mom told me when she met my dad he had nothing much she loved him regardless she helped him through her connections to go into a police academy, he got a good job great promotions and turned around and cheated on my mom, threw us out of the house and only supported us when he felt like it. Fast forward we are all successful without his help and he wants to build a relationship with us and gets offended when we don’t check on him regularly. What he doesn’t get is that even if we may have forgiven him, he didn’t take the time to nurture a relationship between us and him and so it doesn’t come naturally to us to check on him or visit him or do anything for him unless reminded or nagged about it 😂. I love him as a human and forgive him but it doesn’t change the damage he caused in our relationship
YHOOOO STORY OF MY LIFE .. EXACTLY WHAT MY DAD DOES NOW BUT HE HURT ME AS A CHILD 😢 I'm successful married to a lawyer and now he's forcing me to visit him
Your father is my husband 😭 yoh hai Police will do a number on you
My ex kanye
I don't want to sound like your mum is lying, but I strongly advise that you meet your dad ,if you haven't yet, and ask him direct questions against what your mother told you. In most cases women hardly want their kids to have a relationship with their fathers when they separate. They weaponise the need for kids to relate with their fathers. Find the reasons and reasoning behind from your father as well.
I'm not trying to say fathers don't simply abandon their children. And I'm not giving them excuses.
I was abandoned by my father too. My mom didn't want us to see him. I didn't know him until i got to see him when I was a young adult. I searched and found him myself for closure. I was already working and bery much okay in life. The void can not be closed by what my mom told me but what i got to know for myself. I realised that he was a rich man but irresponsible. I moved on with my life with peaceful closure.
The truth is 😢
This is a perfect example of time doesn't heal. It's what you do during "that time" that heals you.
That is soo true. Until she decides she is letting go, then she will understand what healing is
8.e 😂😅🎉@@angelinealfesta680
This hits hard on me. What I do with my time that will heal me.
@@angelinealfesta680True
Wow, very profound ❤
I believe the older generation admire this generation of women who say “yes I love my man but I refuse to compromise mental health in the name of “bekezela”.
Thank God for these podcasts because people with power choose what to share and who to interview, but you guys are giving the voiceless the platform to talk and be heard.
This woman is BEAUTIFUL 😮😮I cannot get over her beauty❤😮
Dark dandy... Soo pretty and looks fit, she definitely gyms
100%@@modileshikoane8174
Absolutely gorgeous ❤
Guys i know her since i was born. All this time i thought she was abroad married to the Italian guy. She was always magical, her beauty then was unmatched. She never took herself seriously. She has STAR energy, getting offers from agencies around the world. She was one of the first black women to star in an international movie. Her story is not told. She was humble. Im distraught to bump into this. Life will steal your shine through humans. She is still gorgeous for a woman with 5 kids.. However she sacrificed her dreams for this man and her family clearly. My heart bleeds for you my sis. I wish for God to restore your light and bright so you bless us with YOUR talents. You have brilliant kids, and ul do fine.. God is not man to govern like one. He will heal and restore you to greatness... Your story will help other women.
Very beautiful!!!she's mesmerizing
She loved unconditionally. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that she gave that love to the wrong man. She should’ve noticed and left sooner but we live to learn.
And GOd will bless her with someone that would be devoted to her nje yazi. Nxa amanye amadoda inene. She did love her marriage and respected her husband yhoo
Easier Said than done. Narcissist are a malignant entities. They are sent to entrap you in their demonic sphere with love bombing, breadcrumbing. I am glad she ist freed from that Bondage.
Only women and children are loved unconditionally, men are not.
How does a man leave for 3 years and be accepted back?? Being financially dependent on a man is actually hell.
We have seen this time and time over. There were many men in my neighbourhood where I grew up who did this. There was one who left for 25 years and he was welcome back. My brother's father-in-law left for years at least 10 or so he returned when his daughters were older and getting married. He was there for the lobola. This is very common.
@@lo6291I wont chace him out but I will nicely build a hokkie at the back of my house
Five kids , single motherhood and dependency on a mans finance is a recipe for disaster
A financially-ish stable-ish men do that. backed by the family,the in-laws, the chruch and community. As the woman they are begged showed he did this for u "don't forget " then they look at the young kids happy to see their dad coz they are kids the mom protected them from seeing their father mistreat them. Then look at themselves still single " so why not, maybe he changed
@Iam_lehlohonolo this is true. Women get gaslit into staying with these men. Some will even be asked "does he buy groceries, do he hit you, he pays school fees for the kids etc". Women are given an impossible task of having to protect the kids, maintain the illusion of a family while the guy doesn't have that burden. This is conversation that needs to be had, ukuthi religion, culture and shame keep the women in shackles really. All in the name of being a "good woman, a good wife". This side she is revered, on the other side she is a joke whether she stays or leaves.
Some comments Neh, just wait until it happens to you directly or indirectly. Hold your head up my dear sister and thank you for sharing your story. God is still in control ❤
So true may God heal her and kids
Thank you. This comment made me change my perspective, you never know until you are in situation😢
Keep going my sister. You are a beautiful strong woman who has done so well for her children! May God bless you dear.
I get her fully. She is an African woman brought up with deep African values. She trusted the union, valued and respected the husband, protected her marriage and family. This world is no longer for faithful women. We must understand this as women. Stop being too loyal to these narcissists, but deal with them the way they deserve. Reciprocate the energy, even if it is in prayer. Because GOD will come through hard. Focus on yourself and your children, heal internally and externally, work extra hard, invest in yourself, be beyond reproach. He will come crawling to apologize to you and the kids. Get out of the shame and do not care what, who says or thinks. Let nature deal with him. No matter how long it will take. Just focus on you. You are beautiful. It’s a great lesson for you. In future date you in the next relationship by investing in YOURSELF. Do not put him or anyone on a pedestal.
Absolutely…. Karma has no “sell by” date. We all reap what we sown
This reminds me of how at some point my dad treated me, my mom and little brother . He kicked us out and brought his two sons to stay at our home. Today I bought my mom a house and he's not allowed at that house. He's lonely and his sons do nothing for him. He wants them out but they refuse to leave. He's stuck with them now. He's now calling me asking for help and I do help there and there but it's not the same.
He totally getting what he deserves. Karma isn't kind. May you heal from your childhood trauma. Check out Gabor Mate, he helps with childhood neglect and stuff.
😢
❤
😢
If I were you I wouldn't help him, he doesn't deserve your help.
35 minutes into this I don't think Marrilyn loved the man more than herself. She loved and stayed because of her dream of having a united family. Her forgiveness was based on what she wanted.
For her to completely heal, has nothing to do with the man. She must accept that her dream of a united family is delayed and not denied.
I can only envision her after the healing. Congratulations in advance.
I love your comment ❤️
Beautiful comment! ❤
Such a profound comment
This is so discerning . I love it.
Your comment is profound!!!
I can relate.Had a restraining order against him but i realised there's no justice in SA.I was gonna die in that house,i packed my bags took my kids,left with nothing,rented a place,started from scrach.I'm at peace
May God continue to give you strength to carry your family through and through. The world is short of women who aren't afraid to start from scratch, most put up with a lot of abuse because they can't go back. Big up to you
May God multiply your portions Greatly
The big lesson here is accept rejection. The first rejection by her ex husband would have saved this lady from so much humiliation.
In my view this lady needs time to heal shes far from being healed. Take the man to maintainance court and keep at it until something happens.
Accept rejection, that echoes deep within me, as painful as it is.
@@VeliswaMa
I agree with you. She should just accept that she's dealing with a narcissist and move on. She's too beautiful for this.
So.true, the sooner you leave the better. The more time and energy you give to a self centered Narc the worse the abuse and the harder the fall. Trust in God to heal her and let karma deal with the ex
😢😢😢
Your story will end in rejoicing. Keep your head high, find a church that builds spiritually, go back to acting, pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild. I did and im glad i started early, by the grace of God. Your story resonates with many of us and i can safely say I made it. My prayer life is what helped me and still does. God is with you strong Marilyn.
When she said, "this guy used to tell me he loves me everyday for ten years"😮...
I will never again judge a man who does not tell me he loves me everyday.
Same, my husband doesn’t say it but he sure does show it. Words can mean absolutely nothing when not backed by action
Narcissists love bomb so they can blame you when they mistreat you
She looks very good especially for a mother of 5.
The way woman is telling her story,it's like she told my story😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 am healing through this
Ncooh wishing you the best mama ❤
May the good Lord heal you my dear and find peace again
Huggies to you my dear 🤗 you in my prayers 😂
Ladies can we choose ourselves please. 🤦🏽♀️
She was presented with multiple opportunities to choose herself but she continued to choose the other side though she was rejected. Even now she is fighting for the man. She is very far from healing, unfortunately.
Louder please yoooh
Cheers to that 🥂
Yes ❤❤❤❤ Amen 😘
How do we even begin to choose ourselves when we are so broken and looking for love externally? We need to first acknowledge our childhood pain and how it has affected our capacity to develop self-esteem and a healthy ego. Until we are able to bestow upon ourselves the gifts of acceptance, appreciation, affection, attention and allowance of freedom, we will always seek these from others.
I can listen to her the whole day... I like how she narrates the whole story ❤
She's a great narrator
Being financially dependent on a man who is not financially savvy is shooting yourself on the foot. Always think for the kids because basala nawe as a mother
True, it's a bad idea.
@@salvationmasinge4225look now he had them staying at his girlfriend's house mara men😂
God knows Sesi, he is probably going to taste the medicine he gave you, watch the space.women ,let's not rely on men bathong,you will be controlled left right and centre.the one who gives you food will also make you starve. GOD BLESS YOU. DON'T fight or blame this women, he is to be blamed.
Absolutely true, if a man has a support from her mother forget it
100%
Im worried because she still wants to blame side chicks for her ex husbands wrongdoings.
As a woman one thing I have taken from this is DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CAREER AND YOURSELF FOR A MAN!! she needs a lot of healing
Nje 😢😢😢😢 whether you earn R500 a month it's ok
But telling the family to stop the side chick to leave your husband alone is too low . I won’t do that😅
@@pfuluLike?!!! Yhuuu 🙆🏾♀️
I always say that in my heart❤
Your husband was basically sleeping/taking advantage of women looking for work is disgusting. You were married to a monster. Love yourself sisi..
This interview has broken me. May you and your kids find happiness one day. You are a smart woman who was just helplessly in love with the wrong man
Love your ability to listen without interrupting Promise. You are such a gentle lady❤
My biggest wish for us as women is to stop attacking other women and name calling them, while we protect the men, the culprits. Many women have been mentioned here by name, but not once has the 'husband' been mentioned by name, even though he is the one that has caused so much heartache to his family! May you come to a point of total healing Marilyn, you've been through a lot!
How have you listened to the podcast?????? She mentioned his name & even emphasized on the click of the "Mx" Duhhhhh🙄
Let's be financially independent and love ourselves more.
I love how this podcast is like therapy. Promise you doing something amazing both for the guests and the viewers. Keep it up❤
I once got dumped coz I chose to pursue my career. The moment I moved to another province, it was over! I used to question my decision sometimes. The biggest lesson from this episode was that I must always choose me, pour into myself. I feel like part of the hurt in this woman is choosing marriage over her dreams only to be let down. I hope she forgives herself and eventually finds healing. Oh man, to love a person can draw you back and leave you soooo consumed. I hope she realizes the man she married is not the same man.😢
choosing your career was the best decision katlego.
more women should make choices like yours 💘
I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids and I can not even begin to imagine the pain this woman is going through yet she seems to be trying to be seen as though she’s happy about the divorce 🥺💔
She’s hurting and I don’t think she would’ve divorced this man had this man not filed for divorce. She seems to be blaming so many people and I get it, she’s still hurting and probably In disbelief since the divorce was finalised last month.
This man met her at her prime, married and gave her 5 kids. She’s had to give up her dreams and leave the industry because of this man. This man has cheated on her with women who are in the industry and who are currently doing well in the industry, THE MAN himself is doing so well in the industry(I mean Shaka Ilembe IS HUGE!!!) I’m sure she must be feeling robbed of her dreams and I get why she’s just all over even in this interview and about that instagram page…
The more I watch this channel and that Boldly Owamie Chanel is the more I feel like I might just die alone ngoba NGIYASABA ABAFANA😭 guys Amadoda ayakwazi ukukuhlanyisa uphila saka😭😭
Sana?! This is precisely why I don’t want to have kids. Men are too unreliable. Next thing you know it you’re almost 50, with 5 kids and no resources to live the life he had got you accustomed to.
I see why she’s running this smear campaign, it’s justified. I just hate that it now makes her look like a mad woman and takes away her credibility. I wish she could have dealt with him in court, this man is making big money.
Spot on
Laleeela 😭💀 your last sentence is everything! Amadoda enjoy hurting us. The 5 kids were to sabotage her and slow her down 🥲 umona wamadoda when they see ur potential, is crazy! He convinced her to leave her job and depend on him, knowing very well that he had no intentions of fulfilling his husband duties of providing.
May we never leave our jobs for any man.
Even falling pregnant for men is risky.
May we never marry men that hate us 😭💔
Who is the ex husband?
@@MapulaMaria-cp7qn
Mqondisi Ngubane
This got me very emotional throughout watching this.She's Extraordinary Naturally Beautiful and Lovely with very fluent English.
I getting to know South African women watching this podcast.
Oh my God Merilyn
I relate to your life journey, so much similarities., the same demonic attack as I refer to this experience.
Having been there. I can only say, God is on the Throne. Focus on praying for your children as I believe the attack is about your children's greatness. You need to cover them in prayer daily because they may be your challenge moving forward as they wrestle with this situation and can be misled. Also stay focused on building yourself because it takes a while. Your children's destiny is in your wisdom and strength.I wasted time after my then husband divorced me, his remarriage and his subsequent death, wrestling the marriage demon and not focusing on embracing my BLESSED NEW BEGINNINGS. To date I wait for my divorce settlement he failed to honour when alive, now from his ongoing late estate, 6years later today. These are the things that can hold you bondaged as I was. But looking back now I am so grateful that God was who I needed at my corner and saved me from myself and circumstances.
May God protect you from yourself as that can be the challenge and grant you wisdom and strength and a blessed life ahead. Keep your eyes on Jesus and LIVE!
She is one strong woman honestly she has been through alot
I honestly have to thank Promise for this podcast, what an eye opener for so many. I wish Marylin and her kids all the success and healing. I am so proud of them for speaking out! This was such an interesting episode
This gave me so much perspective. Thanks for sharing Marilyn. It’s always good to share your story. Do whatever you need to do to heal.
I think we need to understand that this is still new. Of course she has not healed. How can she heal very quickly from a traumatic experience that has been happening for over a decade? She did mention that they finalised the divorce a month ago. And she’s still going to court for some things. She has not yet had time alone in all this. I don’t understand some people’s comments honestly🙄. Support is what she needs not to be scrutinised. However long it took what’s important is that she left finally.
Mina, I believe her. Men do this type of behavior and for some men how they treat their kids is depended on what type of relationship they have with their mother. They will take care of the kids if they are still romantically involved with their mother. Some will go as far as starting a new family then act as if they are first time parents while they have other kids from a previous relationship. And for those who say she is hurt, of cause she is hurt. It is totally normal in such a situation.
The problem with our society is that girls are raised to value marriage more while boys sre taught to value other things more.
It is a total mismatch hence the problems. And sadly her religious boundaries also kept her captive to a situation that wasn't good for her. I don't think she is lying. We have seen so much of similar situations around us. So let's not act like what she shared is inconceivable when we see it every day. I hope she heals yes, i hope she continues talking. For generations women have suffered in silence. Sadly my brother is one of these types of men and i feel for his wife and baby mamas also. It breaks our hearts. I wish she( sis in-law) will also stop protecting him and his lies.
I hear you 100 percent, but sometimes stories can be similar, but it doesn't mean that's the same thing. There's a lot of loopholes in this story. Even with religion and culture, we all always have choice and free will. He left 3 times, and he eventually divorced her. We can not just ride the wave that men are bad anymore. There's accountability.
@Andtherewaslight427 I understand where you are coming from but let's be fair, regious brainwashing is a real thing. We can not underestimate that. Many women and men have stayed in bad situations because of fear of being rejected from their religious community. In some churches/denomination you can even get excommunicated for getting divorced. Her accepting this man over and over might have been because of that heavenly reward pull. Even her remark on "I hoped that woman would make him a better person", like the man is being good is bound on the woman's goodness. That alone is a religious way of thinking. I mean it is very well known and taught that the girls are responsible for the men's lust or lack of control. That kind of teaching can be very hard to break free from.
Agreed! However, ladies, we cannot continue to blame the others for our own hurts. We aren't trees planted and cannot move. We can move and heal. We can choose to change our narrative.
"They will take care of their kids when they are still romantically involved with their mother"
May I add, they will have a relationship with their own child while they are still romantically involved with their mother, how cruel to the children!
@@Andtherewaslight427ABSOLUTELY!!!!WELL SAID! ACCOUNTABILITY❤❤❤
Blame the man!!! THE MAN!!! THE MAN!!! Leave the women alone. The man is the problem not Ayanda, not Brenda!!! That man is the problem, has been the problem, will always be the problem. You must also be accountable for the role you played in this whole thing! Otherwise enjoy your single life and may your next love be genuine, gentle and real❤❤
You as the woman also become part of the problem when you know he has a family but that’s not your problem you want to continue with it, even going to the extent of telling him to break up with her
Are we watching same podcast. She's blaming the ex husband too. Obviously you choose to ignore that so you can bash her as usual. The women/ mistresses are not innocent either, they knew he was married.
Exactly she's not blaming this women only, she blames her ex husband. Other women in our marriage are worse😢😢😢
@@mluck8386The nyatsis took an illicit invitation, knowing very well that it is forbidden fruit. Opportunists. 😂😂😂
@@NCarterMedoperative word: INVITATION!! Other women enter upon request, they will treat your marriage with the same level of respect your spouse displays towards it, you do not have the right to expect strangers to hold your marriage to a higher level than the person you are married to, he took the vow, he owes it to you! If doesn’t care trust & believe he find others that don’t care too
heal my sister i feel your pain my mom is in an abusive marriage of 23 years to date she is not brave enough to step out and she hurts everyday it affects us as kids my siblings are 18 and 13 its sad what they go through everyday i am not staying with them but im part of the hurt. i hope my mom one day becomes brave to divorce for my siblings sake and me and mainly her happiness. You will be well my sister time will heal your pain and well done on raising those well spoken beautiful children alone for years they are your blessings💕
She's like your mother, my mom now is 45 years with a narcissist husband.. I gave up u tried to convince many years ago.
Those women yes, they did wrong before God for dating a married man BUT the one who is to be blamed for the failed marriage is the HUSBAND! He destroyed the marriage himself! To all women out there, what are you doing with a married man? RESPECT YOURSELVES.
Married men who cheat are the home wreckers, the side chicks are just tools being used
She's just gorgeous. All round. Refined and graceful. She's overqualified for that mediocre marriage! Good riddance.
It's the beautiful genuine women and men who get hurt and dragged in the mud
One thing I am learning from these interviews is that men don't know how to love. They only know how to provide and to protect. Love is not encoded in them. And us women we go ahead and make matters worse for ourselves by having children with these men. It then becomes difficult for us to leave because we think about the kids.
But they don't need to know how to love in order to be compassionate. They just need to have a conscience and know that one cannot move on from his own children. Even animals know this by instinct. You find monkeys looking after a puppy or kitten, for example. By instinct. That's all. They just be human. A heartless species does not exist. Except, maybe , alligators that eat their own young. Men must learn compassion. That's all.
Love is compassion. Love is kind. Love is knows no envy. Love is patient. So men need to know how to love in general. Love comes with all those things. Men don't know how to love.
They dont know how to protect either. Protection is not known to them. How was he protecting when his financial security was broken to protect his family. When he left for three years how was he protecting his family when he was absence. They dont know anything but to make kids and cheat
One thing for sure men get bored easily and fast. You can have as many kids as u want with him but when is time for him to leave, he doesn't think twice
Correct
I love this Interview so much. I am going through a major separation and I am in therapy. I went through hell. I must however, say my ex came from a loving and dotting Family. He in Turn was a horrible to me. My friends however, have husbands who come from broken homes and their wives the Same Thing.But they are in great marriages that are so wonderful. Some men are Just WHO they are.
Thank you for your courage to speak out, some of us who went through what you went through understand why you kept on forgiving, as an ex pastor s wife , I was told to pray and continue to forgive, ... Is so hard to make marriage with a narcissist work, the battle never ends. I pray for your healing and restoration ❤
Men make us look crazy struuu
She looks like a lunatic shem
Say that again 😢
I can't believe this episode opened up all my closed scars 😞 the pain of being a parent
🫂 it’s okay babe, ride the wave and remember you are not there anymore❤
The pain of being a single parent 😢
Eii sana😭
I really winced watching & listening to this. She is disoriented because she is obviously broken, stripped of her sanity, & has not yet healed "by the look of things." And it is OKAY;
I dont think anyone gets married to be divorced with kids. With that being said, how I wish she'd waited a few months to evaluate her post-divorce feelings. Eish & refrain from talking about her ex-in-law's & individuals in his life, he made a mess & treated her disrespectfully; it came across as resentful & repulsive. She needs her friends & family right now to vent enough & get her *bearings back*. That she won't have to put those kids in the middle & can return stronger for herself & them. She appears to be playing in his gallery right now.
But let it be, if this aids in her healing. Human relationships are not easy. Phrase true to saying time heals everything. Give it time. *Give it time babygirl*❤️
I understand her, I have been there. You put in everything until you’re empty. I almost took my own life but I was saved by the grace of God. Sometimes the cut is too deep that healing seems so far away. I wish both the man and their side chicks could understand the pain they cause. I can only wish her speedy healing if ever possible and find purpose and love from her children.
@@ZindogaZai1 Fully understand. 🫂some of us went through that passage, we thank the `lords social media was in its infancy. Therapy does wonders but it's a journey quite a long and annoying journey looking back am grateful for having the tenacity to go through it. it takes time and wishing her all the best of luck.💞
What a beautiful woman
I know the pain that these children and their mother are going through. Because me, my siblings and my mother we are facing the same problem. As I'm listening to her speaking it feels like she is telling my story because our father is doing exactly what her ex husband is doing. And what hurts the most is that our father took everything my mother had and we are left with nothing but poverty and the law does nothing about that.😢
🫂❤️
The most painful thing is to love someone who knows that no matter what he does you will still forgive him😢that destroys you as a person 😢I feel her pains.Children are born in marriage now they are treated like they were never wanted 💔 life sucks 😢
Thank you for sharing and teaching through your painful experience. This is precisely one of the reasons I support the notion that 98% of the time, 'MARRIAGE IS A SCAM'
@ Marilyn make a movie, turning pain into power
There can never be healing without accountability.....
This amazing woman is telling most african women's untold stories..
Thank you for advocating for me Sis❤
You are a Blessing
I have debts my kids have depression I have no relationship with my family.
What a pure aura Marilyn🔥. Beautiful woman she is. May God heal u and ur kids.mxm shem such a woman of character
Marilyn swiftly move on my dear sister. Ask God for strength and wisdom to be able to deal with this man without breaking. He's probably enjoying this... It's 2024, find a way to HEAL... May God give you strength and may you remember who MARILYN is🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Seems like she is still stuck in the life/love they shared, she needs to heal for herself and for her kids.
It’s not that easy after so many children and let’s not forget it’s not her who fell out of love.
Sometimes it's not even about the marriage, its stripping away what your children are used to..
Don't oversimplify her story. With children together, lots of them at that, she's allowed to take her time. She's an intelligent woman who knows what she needs to do when. Not in anyone else's time.
I cried when you mentioned how your son took the news.
Life doesn’t make sense in the flesh or in the present which is here on earth. Marylin I know you will understand what I’m saying. You played your part respectfully, honourably and obediently. Greater is your reward to come. And now that this chapter of your marriage chapter is closed, you are still young and can now start living again. God bless you.
It doesn't matter whether people understand why shes doing this interview, let her be, if this will help her move on allow her, dont come here as if your man is present in your childs life or in your relationship, If this is a strategy for her so what. You people need to walk in her shoes and stop shooting your mouths.
You acting as if when your man told u he was done u didnt throw tantrums or begged him to stay mxm leave this lady alone maybe talking to Promise will heal her, maybe she will be able to let go and move on, leave her alone, leave her alone. Mxm
❤🫂 beautifully said
It's hard being a woman, especially a black child. What a strong woman, may God keep on protecting her and the kids
This is your story, tell it how you want to. I admire your courage ❤
Chesaaaaa girlllll
I love your background 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 (thank you for removing di aparo tsele😂)
And look at how beautiful you are🎉🎉🎉 make up...hair..outfit on point❤
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Narcissist,they play mind games.They are so good with giving mixed signals,hot and cold.They torture you and the kids,they make you question your sanity.
They up and leave when you just had the best night,leaving you questioning what you did wrong and when you ask the answer is always "everything is fine".
Forgive and let him go my darling,God is in control.
Your story is 80% my story, my ex hasn’t had a relationship with our kids for 20 years, was also married very young for 10 years, my sister we need to meet, we have so much in common. You’ll be okay girl ❤
Promise you look absolutely beautiful ❤
Absolutely 💯 👌
Too much 🔥
Absolutely beautiful ❤
So much 😊
O motle xem,love you girl
Marylin still has a long way to go in terms of healing. It doesn’t seem to me like she has accepted that he left her so many times, for other women and it was his choice and his alone. The moment she reconciles the action of being left not once but many times- many areas of her pain, will be healed and it will have nothing to do with the women.
Healing starts when you stop pointing a finger at the other person and start pointing it back at yourself. Trying to understand why you allowed yourself to be treated that way and why you stayed. A lot of which is rooted in childhood trauma.
It starts with ADDRESSING - looking directly at the issue, then PROCESSING - acknowleding and paying attention to your feelings, and exploring their implications, then RESOLVING - sitting with your feelings until they change or reveal a path that leads deeper into yourself.
People are too quick to speak this woman is a victim of abuse abuse abandonment in marriages hit s differently
This family needs to refocus their energy to something less consuming. This is not healthy. Therapy is needed here.
Girl has not healed 😔 Still in love with the guy
Leaving a marriage is not easy! I understand why she is in so much pain.
Bcos she was a faithful wife and loved him with All heart l can relate.now l look at myself and be like girl we you crazy protecting someone who didn't love or care about you
If only single women understood this as I get older I now understand
@PRUDENT05 just because it us not easy that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it .Getting a degree is not easy but almost everyone is doing it .Anyone can leave a toxic environment , you just need to love yourself enough to do it .
After watching the full episode I can't judge her.I can't fault her for involving the kids. The system has failed her and her children 😢😢
No Woman broke your family. The man you married did. Men aren’t babies
Very True. Painfull truth we do not want to admit as women ❤🥵
Only two people have the key to their marriage gate. Anyone who comes through the gate is given permission by either one or both parties! Unfortunately there are opportunists in life who will gladly walk through the gate even though the invitation is illicit!
So true, will neva blame another woman mina
The guy hates the mother of his children and wanted to destroy her, but she never saw it coming cause she was in love always read between the lines😢
Bingo!
Love hurts
Straight 😭😭
I agree with you 😭
I understand why she is sharing her life story. This will deliver a lot of wives going through what she went through 10 years ago. This will give many courage to choose themselves and trust God to provide. This will give many ill-treated and disrespected wives the strength to put loyalty aside and be loyal to themselves and their children. Many see her mistakes, but I see her bravery, her resilience, her faith, and unfortunately she put it in the wrong man. God will fight for you Marilyn, continue to seek the face of God and put your children first. The rest will sort itself out.
Her beauty is natural, her resilience is our of this world, how can she managed to stay beautiful after so much she went through😭😭😭😭😭😭
Peace of God that surpasses human understanding 🙏
She is hurt and angry because the ex husband does not support the kids. I understand where she is coming from. It's not easy to be a single mom😭😥. When the kids are old and taking care of themselves she will forget and move on.
Go to set mama ... Police will accompany you... That's peace of mind I tell you.. I rocked up to serve him at his home .. the disappointment and embarrassment but it had to be done ... Please consider this. It's for your kids..
And it’s comforting for a woman to put the problem on another woman! It’s clear that Brenda is not the problem as he moved on to others. You chose an irresponsible man who lacks integrity and who couldn’t commit to one woman, it’s painful to accept but he’s 100 percent accountable for all the pain.
Stay financially independent women! Marriage gives no man the right to determine how much you work. It will eventually end if it’s not meant to be anyways. Work, work, work!
My heart breaks for this woman. I really wish women would stop idolising marriage to this extent. Giving up the best years of your life for a man who belittles and disrespects you so much. You’re worth so much more and your value is not determined by the ring, if the institution breaks you…LEAVE!
I hope she finds healing and realises her worth 😢
It’s the bloody church. We really need to start teaching people about the history of marriage coz they’ve literally attached it to their faith now.
My heart goes out to her no one deserves this especially the innocent children. The fact that she is still standing and can narrate her story is commendable. Women go through the most in this institution called marriage and many suffer in silence and the children helplessly take it all. I pray for healing for the lady and her children. One lesson for everyone - if people show you who they are believe them. Hurt people hurt others and those that have trauma from abandonment and do not heal are generally incapable of having healthy relationships and will in turn abandon their loved ones. This one was beyond you and you did not know any better like some us because you were young. Work on yourself and your children to heal and all the best 🙏🏽🫂
Amen to that❤
The husband was a Narcissist. Study narcissism, it will help you understand his behavior. They thrive on empathetic people. Tx for sharing your story. You not the only 1. He did that because it seemed u wanted it more than him which is not fair.
Yes I agree. I wish she did the work to heal all those years back.
Poor Empaths attract these monsters. It's been happening for centuries my sister. Try to manage yourself, Narcs don't change. They are always looking for supply. He's going to dump the other ladies as well. Focus on your business & the kids.
True and it can assist a lot of people. For them, it's the supply you are just another tick on their bucket list. However, she should never have allowed him back the first time.
I think the guest is trying so hard to sound profound and is in actual fact just a woman scorned.. Masked in depth..
You put it perfectly
Yep, I agree with you.
I typed this and deleted, glad you could articulate my exact thought.
I love people who know how to articulate my thoughts. You hit the nail on the head
I wish I was brave like u
Marilyn…sana… you are so beautiful…a gem…a black beauty! So respectful and yes keep your head up!But Mamela sesi u dhubo Luyedlula and you will heal and believe me you will . I’m an old woman and my heart goes out to you. But kuzolunga sana. Don’t let history dictate your future.. Stay strong, safe and BLESSED..
Muhle yoh
Muhle yoh
Sad story but as mothers let’s try and do better for ourselves and kids, the longer we stay in such marriages this hurt kids the most. Love and light to her
Yoh Promise has a heart of gold, she has a gift of healing and not shy to show her emotions which is good because she is strongly connecting with their emotions. I love you Promise you are doing an incredible job. 😍💐
My grandmother once said to me as a young girl going off to college "NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU MORE THAN ONCE THAT HE DON'T LOVE YOU AND DON'T WANNA BE WITH YOU NO MORE"..
Yhoo life is very tough...people tend to change in a relationship and become monsters...very sad though 😭😭
This hair suits you so much, Promise! ❤
Great episode, she spoke succintly. She was dealing with a broken, covert narcisist who was actually trauma bonding her to him by Loving her boldly then leaving her high and dry as and when he pleased! When he left the 1st time she should've believed his actions and not his words. She should've used the time to start the healing process cause knowing these types of men, he came back and didn't even wanna heal himself or take full accountability. He probably would return and just tell her, I love you, people don't wanna see us win, you go to counseling so you can heal whilst he didn't lift a finger. Hope she can now start the process of healing and the Universe will restore what she feels she may have lost ten fold! She should learn to protect her energy and let go of him or whatever is happening in his life, it is not her business nor her baby to worry about... Hope she pours into herself all that love and dedication she poured into a deadbeat and she will see the wonder and transformation that happens within... Focus on you sisi and do not let nobody steal your peace or try to mess with your mental, cut him off his oxygen supply which is your attention, narcisists thrive on that whether it is good or bad attention as long as they are torturing you, they are good! Love and Light❤💞❤
This lady😢,and she so calm,shes is imbokodo,im happy ive watched this,and it makes me scared
Marilyn, you are gorgeous yhoo! May you heal. Your children are beautifull and wholesome too. May 2024 be the beginning of mended wounds and joy in your family. ❤❤
This man saw this woman's light and talent and he wanted to disable her by telling"No dont go to work, it is not worth the money" telling her that they must upgrade meanwhile he is recklessly spending was an attempt to drown her in financial distress. She is so well spoken, beautiful and talented, I believe more opportunities will come for her.
So sorry mommy.Very tough raising kids on your own.Noone wins when families break
This was such a great interview/discussion. I wish the best for Marrilyn and Promise did a good job. Marrilyn has been so strong, I hope she finds and keeps her happiness.
It’s ok to hurt. Don’t allow people to make you feel like you are unreasonable or crazy. It doesn’t matter. You are going through this. Life is fair, the universe will respond for you. Take my word. I’m also praying for you
Thank you for this comment it sort of validates my feelings in so many ways that I don't even know how to explain 😢
Yo my babes, you are still very young, I've been going through this for now 31 years, court battles, bribery and all, I'm still in that fight, I carry my son's pain daily, I feel I've been abused financially mentally materially socially in every way. The courts are not doing enough, bribery has become rife, it seems there's no help at all for women and our children, it's time to fight this in different ways, and you right, they need to be exposed publicly, named and shamed. I'm born again but this tends to affect you so much, it's such a heavy burden, ibuhlungu kakhulu, I'm sitting here and I'm in deep pain as I listen to you talking, you relating my story of over 31 years of a man who has farms and has enriched himself with my son's portion, I feel alone and prayer has become such an effort to, sorry my babes
Marrilyn , may Jehova Rapha heal you. All is not lost, you and your kids are still alive God will restore you. You are now free, pick up the pieces and focus on yourself, yes you can!! you have what it takes !!! you are a powerhouse . Eish ! some 15 years ago I would agree with you that the woman was wrecking your marriage, but today please allow me to say all the blame should be on your ex-husband who betrayed you and disrespected the covenant and not the women. I know it is a natural instinct to protect one's spouse , but he wracked it. Thaat is my take
I think she need to stop holding other women accountable, they did nothing wrong whether they knew about her or not then she’ll start healing. She’s so hurt and torn but God repairs, restores and renews. God has you in mind
Marrilyn thank you for sharing your story.
Don't judge you will never know what's happening behind the curtains. We always stay in a relationship and make excuses about children not knowing that them experiencing the fights and parents stresses make things worse
I feel the pain girl and know what you are talking about. God will reward you and all what, he has done will never go unpunished and he was not worth what you worth. thanks for not stooping you are the hero on this one.
The way this woman is in love with her ex, it's tough. She's still blushing when she recalls back. Shame😢
I don't think she's blushing because she still loves him. Moments don't cease to be beautiful and amazing just because a person has wronged you. She's blushing because that moment made her feel like that at the time. When I recall a moment with my ex and it was funny, I laugh but it doesn't mean I love him.
And that was her downfall! She adored an irresponsible man that didn’t want her anymore. Such insults! Calling off divorce, getting forgiven and being rewarded with a baby! Where is the society that calls men out!
She's still in love with her ex and refuses to let go of her loss and pain. She must forgive herself and the rest is history
You will never understand her pain until you have walked in her shoes,it's not a walk in the park.
@@loicebaraza🤞🤞🤞💯
Divorce was only finalized two months ago. It's too early. Let her take her 10 20 50 years or lifetime.
@@LukeRev480😂 Aowa. I hope not. No human being deserves to take your power away like that. I don’t care what the pain is.
So what if she still love her ex, at least her love was genuine for the person she married. She's allowed to take all the time she needs. That's normal
I’ve watched till the end and gosh it’s heart trenching 😢 staying and kept on fighting for the marriage to the point where you try and get the girls father involved to help save your marriage my gosh.
I am so sorry .The father was right to say he is not going to involve himself. I personally feel that the way you handled the whole thing has led to delayed healing ❤️🩹
I wish you had accepted the situation for what is was sooner than later & even now. Let go , whole heartedly and watch God elevate you 🙏🏽
I know the financial & emotional damage it’s done to you & your children. The hurt it has caused BUT let go. It’s time Merilyn . You are a gorgeous gorgeous, beautiful talented loving woman. You are a QUEEN. You are going to be ok. It’s going to be alright. Your babies will be alright.
I genuinely from the bottom of my heart wish you healing, the love you deserve & prosperity.
Lots of love & hugs 🫂