@@lesam965she really betrayed herself. He asked for a divorce 3 times, he left 5 times. Aowa- the man really tried leaving so many times, why was she not allowing him? Light and healing to her sounds like this was becoming a hostage situation👀👀
I watched a video where a MAN said "when a person wants out of a relationship/marriage, open that door and shut it behind them....when a person dumps you, it's a decision he/she has taken a while back before uttering those words!
I remember my mom told me when she met my dad he had nothing much she loved him regardless she helped him through her connections to go into a police academy, he got a good job great promotions and turned around and cheated on my mom, threw us out of the house and only supported us when he felt like it. Fast forward we are all successful without his help and he wants to build a relationship with us and gets offended when we don’t check on him regularly. What he doesn’t get is that even if we may have forgiven him, he didn’t take the time to nurture a relationship between us and him and so it doesn’t come naturally to us to check on him or visit him or do anything for him unless reminded or nagged about it 😂. I love him as a human and forgive him but it doesn’t change the damage he caused in our relationship
YHOOOO STORY OF MY LIFE .. EXACTLY WHAT MY DAD DOES NOW BUT HE HURT ME AS A CHILD 😢 I'm successful married to a lawyer and now he's forcing me to visit him
I don't want to sound like your mum is lying, but I strongly advise that you meet your dad ,if you haven't yet, and ask him direct questions against what your mother told you. In most cases women hardly want their kids to have a relationship with their fathers when they separate. They weaponise the need for kids to relate with their fathers. Find the reasons and reasoning behind from your father as well. I'm not trying to say fathers don't simply abandon their children. And I'm not giving them excuses. I was abandoned by my father too. My mom didn't want us to see him. I didn't know him until i got to see him when I was a young adult. I searched and found him myself for closure. I was already working and bery much okay in life. The void can not be closed by what my mom told me but what i got to know for myself. I realised that he was a rich man but irresponsible. I moved on with my life with peaceful closure.
Im worried because she still wants to blame side chicks for her ex husbands wrongdoings. As a woman one thing I have taken from this is DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CAREER AND YOURSELF FOR A MAN!! she needs a lot of healing
She loved unconditionally. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that she gave that love to the wrong man. She should’ve noticed and left sooner but we live to learn.
And GOd will bless her with someone that would be devoted to her nje yazi. Nxa amanye amadoda inene. She did love her marriage and respected her husband yhoo
Easier Said than done. Narcissist are a malignant entities. They are sent to entrap you in their demonic sphere with love bombing, breadcrumbing. I am glad she ist freed from that Bondage.
We have seen this time and time over. There were many men in my neighbourhood where I grew up who did this. There was one who left for 25 years and he was welcome back. My brother's father-in-law left for years at least 10 or so he returned when his daughters were older and getting married. He was there for the lobola. This is very common.
A financially-ish stable-ish men do that. backed by the family,the in-laws, the chruch and community. As the woman they are begged showed he did this for u "don't forget " then they look at the young kids happy to see their dad coz they are kids the mom protected them from seeing their father mistreat them. Then look at themselves still single " so why not, maybe he changed
@Iam_lehlohonolo this is true. Women get gaslit into staying with these men. Some will even be asked "does he buy groceries, do he hit you, he pays school fees for the kids etc". Women are given an impossible task of having to protect the kids, maintain the illusion of a family while the guy doesn't have that burden. This is conversation that needs to be had, ukuthi religion, culture and shame keep the women in shackles really. All in the name of being a "good woman, a good wife". This side she is revered, on the other side she is a joke whether she stays or leaves.
Some comments Neh, just wait until it happens to you directly or indirectly. Hold your head up my dear sister and thank you for sharing your story. God is still in control ❤
35 minutes into this I don't think Marrilyn loved the man more than herself. She loved and stayed because of her dream of having a united family. Her forgiveness was based on what she wanted. For her to completely heal, has nothing to do with the man. She must accept that her dream of a united family is delayed and not denied. I can only envision her after the healing. Congratulations in advance.
I believe the older generation admire this generation of women who say “yes I love my man but I refuse to compromise mental health in the name of “bekezela”.
This reminds me of how at some point my dad treated me, my mom and little brother . He kicked us out and brought his two sons to stay at our home. Today I bought my mom a house and he's not allowed at that house. He's lonely and his sons do nothing for him. He wants them out but they refuse to leave. He's stuck with them now. He's now calling me asking for help and I do help there and there but it's not the same.
He totally getting what he deserves. Karma isn't kind. May you heal from your childhood trauma. Check out Gabor Mate, he helps with childhood neglect and stuff.
Thank God for these podcasts because people with power choose what to share and who to interview, but you guys are giving the voiceless the platform to talk and be heard.
I think we need to understand that this is still new. Of course she has not healed. How can she heal very quickly from a traumatic experience that has been happening for over a decade? She did mention that they finalised the divorce a month ago. And she’s still going to court for some things. She has not yet had time alone in all this. I don’t understand some people’s comments honestly🙄. Support is what she needs not to be scrutinised. However long it took what’s important is that she left finally.
I get her fully. She is an African woman brought up with deep African values. She trusted the union, valued and respected the husband, protected her marriage and family. This world is no longer for faithful women. We must understand this as women. Stop being too loyal to these narcissists, but deal with them the way they deserve. Reciprocate the energy, even if it is in prayer. Because GOD will come through hard. Focus on yourself and your children, heal internally and externally, work extra hard, invest in yourself, be beyond reproach. He will come crawling to apologize to you and the kids. Get out of the shame and do not care what, who says or thinks. Let nature deal with him. No matter how long it will take. Just focus on you. You are beautiful. It’s a great lesson for you. In future date you in the next relationship by investing in YOURSELF. Do not put him or anyone on a pedestal.
When she said, "this guy used to tell me he loves me everyday for ten years"😮... I will never again judge a man who does not tell me he loves me everyday.
The big lesson here is accept rejection. The first rejection by her ex husband would have saved this lady from so much humiliation. In my view this lady needs time to heal shes far from being healed. Take the man to maintainance court and keep at it until something happens.
So.true, the sooner you leave the better. The more time and energy you give to a self centered Narc the worse the abuse and the harder the fall. Trust in God to heal her and let karma deal with the ex
Guys i know her since i was born. All this time i thought she was abroad married to the Italian guy. She was always magical, her beauty then was unmatched. She never took herself seriously. She has STAR energy, getting offers from agencies around the world. She was one of the first black women to star in an international movie. Her story is not told. She was humble. Im distraught to bump into this. Life will steal your shine through humans. She is still gorgeous for a woman with 5 kids.. However she sacrificed her dreams for this man and her family clearly. My heart bleeds for you my sis. I wish for God to restore your light and bright so you bless us with YOUR talents. You have brilliant kids, and ul do fine.. God is not man to govern like one. He will heal and restore you to greatness... Your story will help other women.
Being financially dependent on a man who is not financially savvy is shooting yourself on the foot. Always think for the kids because basala nawe as a mother
God knows Sesi, he is probably going to taste the medicine he gave you, watch the space.women ,let's not rely on men bathong,you will be controlled left right and centre.the one who gives you food will also make you starve. GOD BLESS YOU. DON'T fight or blame this women, he is to be blamed.
I can relate.Had a restraining order against him but i realised there's no justice in SA.I was gonna die in that house,i packed my bags took my kids,left with nothing,rented a place,started from scrach.I'm at peace
May God continue to give you strength to carry your family through and through. The world is short of women who aren't afraid to start from scratch, most put up with a lot of abuse because they can't go back. Big up to you
I once got dumped coz I chose to pursue my career. The moment I moved to another province, it was over! I used to question my decision sometimes. The biggest lesson from this episode was that I must always choose me, pour into myself. I feel like part of the hurt in this woman is choosing marriage over her dreams only to be let down. I hope she forgives herself and eventually finds healing. Oh man, to love a person can draw you back and leave you soooo consumed. I hope she realizes the man she married is not the same man.😢
It doesn't matter whether people understand why shes doing this interview, let her be, if this will help her move on allow her, dont come here as if your man is present in your childs life or in your relationship, If this is a strategy for her so what. You people need to walk in her shoes and stop shooting your mouths. You acting as if when your man told u he was done u didnt throw tantrums or begged him to stay mxm leave this lady alone maybe talking to Promise will heal her, maybe she will be able to let go and move on, leave her alone, leave her alone. Mxm
She was presented with multiple opportunities to choose herself but she continued to choose the other side though she was rejected. Even now she is fighting for the man. She is very far from healing, unfortunately.
How do we even begin to choose ourselves when we are so broken and looking for love externally? We need to first acknowledge our childhood pain and how it has affected our capacity to develop self-esteem and a healthy ego. Until we are able to bestow upon ourselves the gifts of acceptance, appreciation, affection, attention and allowance of freedom, we will always seek these from others.
I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids and I can not even begin to imagine the pain this woman is going through yet she seems to be trying to be seen as though she’s happy about the divorce 🥺💔 She’s hurting and I don’t think she would’ve divorced this man had this man not filed for divorce. She seems to be blaming so many people and I get it, she’s still hurting and probably In disbelief since the divorce was finalised last month. This man met her at her prime, married and gave her 5 kids. She’s had to give up her dreams and leave the industry because of this man. This man has cheated on her with women who are in the industry and who are currently doing well in the industry, THE MAN himself is doing so well in the industry(I mean Shaka Ilembe IS HUGE!!!) I’m sure she must be feeling robbed of her dreams and I get why she’s just all over even in this interview and about that instagram page… The more I watch this channel and that Boldly Owamie Chanel is the more I feel like I might just die alone ngoba NGIYASABA ABAFANA😭 guys Amadoda ayakwazi ukukuhlanyisa uphila saka😭😭
Sana?! This is precisely why I don’t want to have kids. Men are too unreliable. Next thing you know it you’re almost 50, with 5 kids and no resources to live the life he had got you accustomed to. I see why she’s running this smear campaign, it’s justified. I just hate that it now makes her look like a mad woman and takes away her credibility. I wish she could have dealt with him in court, this man is making big money.
Laleeela 😭💀 your last sentence is everything! Amadoda enjoy hurting us. The 5 kids were to sabotage her and slow her down 🥲 umona wamadoda when they see ur potential, is crazy! He convinced her to leave her job and depend on him, knowing very well that he had no intentions of fulfilling his husband duties of providing. May we never leave our jobs for any man. Even falling pregnant for men is risky. May we never marry men that hate us 😭💔
One thing I am learning from these interviews is that men don't know how to love. They only know how to provide and to protect. Love is not encoded in them. And us women we go ahead and make matters worse for ourselves by having children with these men. It then becomes difficult for us to leave because we think about the kids.
But they don't need to know how to love in order to be compassionate. They just need to have a conscience and know that one cannot move on from his own children. Even animals know this by instinct. You find monkeys looking after a puppy or kitten, for example. By instinct. That's all. They just be human. A heartless species does not exist. Except, maybe , alligators that eat their own young. Men must learn compassion. That's all.
Love is compassion. Love is kind. Love is knows no envy. Love is patient. So men need to know how to love in general. Love comes with all those things. Men don't know how to love.
They dont know how to protect either. Protection is not known to them. How was he protecting when his financial security was broken to protect his family. When he left for three years how was he protecting his family when he was absence. They dont know anything but to make kids and cheat
One thing for sure men get bored easily and fast. You can have as many kids as u want with him but when is time for him to leave, he doesn't think twice
Your story will end in rejoicing. Keep your head high, find a church that builds spiritually, go back to acting, pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild. I did and im glad i started early, by the grace of God. Your story resonates with many of us and i can safely say I made it. My prayer life is what helped me and still does. God is with you strong Marilyn.
I really winced watching & listening to this. She is disoriented because she is obviously broken, stripped of her sanity, & has not yet healed "by the look of things." And it is OKAY; I dont think anyone gets married to be divorced with kids. With that being said, how I wish she'd waited a few months to evaluate her post-divorce feelings. Eish & refrain from talking about her ex-in-law's & individuals in his life, he made a mess & treated her disrespectfully; it came across as resentful & repulsive. She needs her friends & family right now to vent enough & get her *bearings back*. That she won't have to put those kids in the middle & can return stronger for herself & them. She appears to be playing in his gallery right now. But let it be, if this aids in her healing. Human relationships are not easy. Phrase true to saying time heals everything. Give it time. *Give it time babygirl*❤️
I understand her, I have been there. You put in everything until you’re empty. I almost took my own life but I was saved by the grace of God. Sometimes the cut is too deep that healing seems so far away. I wish both the man and their side chicks could understand the pain they cause. I can only wish her speedy healing if ever possible and find purpose and love from her children.
@@mahafrika7116 Fully understand. 🫂some of us went through that passage, we thank the `lords social media was in its infancy. Therapy does wonders but it's a journey quite a long and annoying journey looking back am grateful for having the tenacity to go through it. it takes time and wishing her all the best of luck.💞
Mina, I believe her. Men do this type of behavior and for some men how they treat their kids is depended on what type of relationship they have with their mother. They will take care of the kids if they are still romantically involved with their mother. Some will go as far as starting a new family then act as if they are first time parents while they have other kids from a previous relationship. And for those who say she is hurt, of cause she is hurt. It is totally normal in such a situation. The problem with our society is that girls are raised to value marriage more while boys sre taught to value other things more. It is a total mismatch hence the problems. And sadly her religious boundaries also kept her captive to a situation that wasn't good for her. I don't think she is lying. We have seen so much of similar situations around us. So let's not act like what she shared is inconceivable when we see it every day. I hope she heals yes, i hope she continues talking. For generations women have suffered in silence. Sadly my brother is one of these types of men and i feel for his wife and baby mamas also. It breaks our hearts. I wish she( sis in-law) will also stop protecting him and his lies.
I hear you 100 percent, but sometimes stories can be similar, but it doesn't mean that's the same thing. There's a lot of loopholes in this story. Even with religion and culture, we all always have choice and free will. He left 3 times, and he eventually divorced her. We can not just ride the wave that men are bad anymore. There's accountability.
@Andtherewaslight427 I understand where you are coming from but let's be fair, regious brainwashing is a real thing. We can not underestimate that. Many women and men have stayed in bad situations because of fear of being rejected from their religious community. In some churches/denomination you can even get excommunicated for getting divorced. Her accepting this man over and over might have been because of that heavenly reward pull. Even her remark on "I hoped that woman would make him a better person", like the man is being good is bound on the woman's goodness. That alone is a religious way of thinking. I mean it is very well known and taught that the girls are responsible for the men's lust or lack of control. That kind of teaching can be very hard to break free from.
Agreed! However, ladies, we cannot continue to blame the others for our own hurts. We aren't trees planted and cannot move. We can move and heal. We can choose to change our narrative.
"They will take care of their kids when they are still romantically involved with their mother" May I add, they will have a relationship with their own child while they are still romantically involved with their mother, how cruel to the children!
Blame the man!!! THE MAN!!! THE MAN!!! Leave the women alone. The man is the problem not Ayanda, not Brenda!!! That man is the problem, has been the problem, will always be the problem. You must also be accountable for the role you played in this whole thing! Otherwise enjoy your single life and may your next love be genuine, gentle and real❤❤
You as the woman also become part of the problem when you know he has a family but that’s not your problem you want to continue with it, even going to the extent of telling him to break up with her
Are we watching same podcast. She's blaming the ex husband too. Obviously you choose to ignore that so you can bash her as usual. The women/ mistresses are not innocent either, they knew he was married.
@@nette2144operative word: INVITATION!! Other women enter upon request, they will treat your marriage with the same level of respect your spouse displays towards it, you do not have the right to expect strangers to hold your marriage to a higher level than the person you are married to, he took the vow, he owes it to you! If doesn’t care trust & believe he find others that don’t care too
Those women yes, they did wrong before God for dating a married man BUT the one who is to be blamed for the failed marriage is the HUSBAND! He destroyed the marriage himself! To all women out there, what are you doing with a married man? RESPECT YOURSELVES.
I honestly have to thank Promise for this podcast, what an eye opener for so many. I wish Marylin and her kids all the success and healing. I am so proud of them for speaking out! This was such an interesting episode
My heart breaks for this woman. I really wish women would stop idolising marriage to this extent. Giving up the best years of your life for a man who belittles and disrespects you so much. You’re worth so much more and your value is not determined by the ring, if the institution breaks you…LEAVE! I hope she finds healing and realises her worth 😢
Marylin still has a long way to go in terms of healing. It doesn’t seem to me like she has accepted that he left her so many times, for other women and it was his choice and his alone. The moment she reconciles the action of being left not once but many times- many areas of her pain, will be healed and it will have nothing to do with the women.
Healing starts when you stop pointing a finger at the other person and start pointing it back at yourself. Trying to understand why you allowed yourself to be treated that way and why you stayed. A lot of which is rooted in childhood trauma. It starts with ADDRESSING - looking directly at the issue, then PROCESSING - acknowleding and paying attention to your feelings, and exploring their implications, then RESOLVING - sitting with your feelings until they change or reveal a path that leads deeper into yourself.
I know the pain that these children and their mother are going through. Because me, my siblings and my mother we are facing the same problem. As I'm listening to her speaking it feels like she is telling my story because our father is doing exactly what her ex husband is doing. And what hurts the most is that our father took everything my mother had and we are left with nothing but poverty and the law does nothing about that.😢
Bcos she was a faithful wife and loved him with All heart l can relate.now l look at myself and be like girl we you crazy protecting someone who didn't love or care about you
heal my sister i feel your pain my mom is in an abusive marriage of 23 years to date she is not brave enough to step out and she hurts everyday it affects us as kids my siblings are 18 and 13 its sad what they go through everyday i am not staying with them but im part of the hurt. i hope my mom one day becomes brave to divorce for my siblings sake and me and mainly her happiness. You will be well my sister time will heal your pain and well done on raising those well spoken beautiful children alone for years they are your blessings💕
The most painful thing is to love someone who knows that no matter what he does you will still forgive him😢that destroys you as a person 😢I feel her pains.Children are born in marriage now they are treated like they were never wanted 💔 life sucks 😢
Only two people have the key to their marriage gate. Anyone who comes through the gate is given permission by either one or both parties! Unfortunately there are opportunists in life who will gladly walk through the gate even though the invitation is illicit!
And it’s comforting for a woman to put the problem on another woman! It’s clear that Brenda is not the problem as he moved on to others. You chose an irresponsible man who lacks integrity and who couldn’t commit to one woman, it’s painful to accept but he’s 100 percent accountable for all the pain. Stay financially independent women! Marriage gives no man the right to determine how much you work. It will eventually end if it’s not meant to be anyways. Work, work, work!
Oh my God Merilyn I relate to your life journey, so much similarities., the same demonic attack as I refer to this experience. Having been there. I can only say, God is on the Throne. Focus on praying for your children as I believe the attack is about your children's greatness. You need to cover them in prayer daily because they may be your challenge moving forward as they wrestle with this situation and can be misled. Also stay focused on building yourself because it takes a while. Your children's destiny is in your wisdom and strength.I wasted time after my then husband divorced me, his remarriage and his subsequent death, wrestling the marriage demon and not focusing on embracing my BLESSED NEW BEGINNINGS. To date I wait for my divorce settlement he failed to honour when alive, now from his ongoing late estate, 6years later today. These are the things that can hold you bondaged as I was. But looking back now I am so grateful that God was who I needed at my corner and saved me from myself and circumstances. May God protect you from yourself as that can be the challenge and grant you wisdom and strength and a blessed life ahead. Keep your eyes on Jesus and LIVE!
I understand why she is sharing her life story. This will deliver a lot of wives going through what she went through 10 years ago. This will give many courage to choose themselves and trust God to provide. This will give many ill-treated and disrespected wives the strength to put loyalty aside and be loyal to themselves and their children. Many see her mistakes, but I see her bravery, her resilience, her faith, and unfortunately she put it in the wrong man. God will fight for you Marilyn, continue to seek the face of God and put your children first. The rest will sort itself out.
The husband was a Narcissist. Study narcissism, it will help you understand his behavior. They thrive on empathetic people. Tx for sharing your story. You not the only 1. He did that because it seemed u wanted it more than him which is not fair.
Poor Empaths attract these monsters. It's been happening for centuries my sister. Try to manage yourself, Narcs don't change. They are always looking for supply. He's going to dump the other ladies as well. Focus on your business & the kids.
True and it can assist a lot of people. For them, it's the supply you are just another tick on their bucket list. However, she should never have allowed him back the first time.
She is hurt and angry because the ex husband does not support the kids. I understand where she is coming from. It's not easy to be a single mom😭😥. When the kids are old and taking care of themselves she will forget and move on.
Narcissist,they play mind games.They are so good with giving mixed signals,hot and cold.They torture you and the kids,they make you question your sanity. They up and leave when you just had the best night,leaving you questioning what you did wrong and when you ask the answer is always "everything is fine". Forgive and let him go my darling,God is in control.
I love this Interview so much. I am going through a major separation and I am in therapy. I went through hell. I must however, say my ex came from a loving and dotting Family. He in Turn was a horrible to me. My friends however, have husbands who come from broken homes and their wives the Same Thing.But they are in great marriages that are so wonderful. Some men are Just WHO they are.
Chesaaaaa girlllll I love your background 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 (thank you for removing di aparo tsele😂) And look at how beautiful you are🎉🎉🎉 make up...hair..outfit on point❤
Marilyn swiftly move on my dear sister. Ask God for strength and wisdom to be able to deal with this man without breaking. He's probably enjoying this... It's 2024, find a way to HEAL... May God give you strength and may you remember who MARILYN is🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Don't oversimplify her story. With children together, lots of them at that, she's allowed to take her time. She's an intelligent woman who knows what she needs to do when. Not in anyone else's time.
I cried when you mentioned how your son took the news. Life doesn’t make sense in the flesh or in the present which is here on earth. Marylin I know you will understand what I’m saying. You played your part respectfully, honourably and obediently. Greater is your reward to come. And now that this chapter of your marriage chapter is closed, you are still young and can now start living again. God bless you.
My heart goes out to her no one deserves this especially the innocent children. The fact that she is still standing and can narrate her story is commendable. Women go through the most in this institution called marriage and many suffer in silence and the children helplessly take it all. I pray for healing for the lady and her children. One lesson for everyone - if people show you who they are believe them. Hurt people hurt others and those that have trauma from abandonment and do not heal are generally incapable of having healthy relationships and will in turn abandon their loved ones. This one was beyond you and you did not know any better like some us because you were young. Work on yourself and your children to heal and all the best 🙏🏽🫂
I don't think she's blushing because she still loves him. Moments don't cease to be beautiful and amazing just because a person has wronged you. She's blushing because that moment made her feel like that at the time. When I recall a moment with my ex and it was funny, I laugh but it doesn't mean I love him.
And that was her downfall! She adored an irresponsible man that didn’t want her anymore. Such insults! Calling off divorce, getting forgiven and being rewarded with a baby! Where is the society that calls men out!
My biggest wish for us as women is to stop attacking other women and name calling them, while we protect the men, the culprits. Many women have been mentioned here by name, but not once has the 'husband' been mentioned by name, even though he is the one that has caused so much heartache to his family! May you come to a point of total healing Marilyn, you've been through a lot!
Thank you for your courage to speak out, some of us who went through what you went through understand why you kept on forgiving, as an ex pastor s wife , I was told to pray and continue to forgive, ... Is so hard to make marriage with a narcissist work, the battle never ends. I pray for your healing and restoration ❤
Your ex-husband has narcissistic traits. Those people are very toxic and do not change. They thrive on other people's pain including their own children. Empower yourself by listening to topics about narcissm, you heal faster sister. God is good, speedy healing to you empath.
So what if she still love her ex, at least her love was genuine for the person she married. She's allowed to take all the time she needs. That's normal
I wish she could just answer the questions without trying to sound so deep and profound, because her story deserves to be heard. It’s exhausting listening to her, there’s too much circling around.
It’s very insensitive to say listening to her is exhausting though tbh, you can just skip the video. She might not even be tryna be “ so deep and profound”, HER story is that deep to HER. She lived it, it wasn’t a summarised version of her life. The way we all deal with trauma is different. And people’s definition of trauma is not the same too. I always tell my patients that a broken heart is the only pain that doesn’t have medication. It’s a feeling that no one can actually describe. Same as grief. Let’s be kind to each other.
Can we tell our kids when we are divorcing and stop dredging this emotional abuse for so long . If someone give you a divorce letter three times ,why are you still staying there.
We stay because of this bekezela mshado unzima syndrome wasting our precious energy and time with narcissist.l always tell my daughter to love.priorities herself and be financial independent marriage is a bonus
Go to set mama ... Police will accompany you... That's peace of mind I tell you.. I rocked up to serve him at his home .. the disappointment and embarrassment but it had to be done ... Please consider this. It's for your kids..
Sad story but as mothers let’s try and do better for ourselves and kids, the longer we stay in such marriages this hurt kids the most. Love and light to her
Thank you for sharing and teaching through your painful experience. This is precisely one of the reasons I support the notion that 98% of the time, 'MARRIAGE IS A SCAM'
Don't judge you will never know what's happening behind the curtains. We always stay in a relationship and make excuses about children not knowing that them experiencing the fights and parents stresses make things worse
Your story is 80% my story, my ex hasn’t had a relationship with our kids for 20 years, was also married very young for 10 years, my sister we need to meet, we have so much in common. You’ll be okay girl ❤
I get irritated when ex spouses tell their ex family history. It is his story to tell his family history, not hers. She should focus on the end of their marriage and her healing.
Some context to the interview would have been nice. How long were they married for etc. Instead we were just thrown into the deep end from the start till the end with no sound understanding of what exactly the interview was about.
The interview was about humiliating him. His just got married. She wants to use the public to go blast Ayanda. She's playing dog fetch. I am saying this because after the entire 1 hour conversation, you're left with, uburhalele sithini, if you have exhausted all avenues? That's my take. I might be very wrong.
It’s ok to hurt. Don’t allow people to make you feel like you are unreasonable or crazy. It doesn’t matter. You are going through this. Life is fair, the universe will respond for you. Take my word. I’m also praying for you
Im gonna say something that sound irresponsible but can we stop forcing these men to take responsibility 🤷🏽♀️... if they want to be parents, great! But if not... i doubt any amount of pleaing and begging will wake them up from their slumber. Because this can be so draining that you miss out on enjoying life and finding love again! Life is not a rehearsal unfortunately, life is happening now! Let my dear, enjoy your kids and enjoy your life 💫💖
@@_molebogeng6281Exactly. And she hardly takes accountability for the role she’s played in her own demise. There’s a lot of information she’s withholding, which makes her version of events untrustworthy.
@lebom2456 I do not agree with your comment. Yes, sometimes people have to force parents that do not want to be parents to at least be financially responsible. If not, when that child grows up to be the next great thing, the very parent who didn't want to be involved will be taking the credit, and that is when the real headache of the parent who has been taking care of this child will start. The bitterness and anger. So make them responsible if you can. Blast their name all over, if you can. Because selfish people will never waste an opportunity to shine.
Watched this episode, then the kids and I had to come back and comment. I understand her anger and pain, it's not just for her but for her kids aswel. The husband is totally to blame for breaking up his home but at some point women need to stop telling other women not to blame and be angry at the side woman. It's not cool to go date a married men, knowing what it's going to do to his kids and then say "I don't owe you loyalty". Yes you don't but you are part of the problem. I definitely wouldn't go confront and argue with the side though.
I'm married and if my husband cheats I deal with alone. But if he cheats with a lady that knows me in my home I deal with them both. Yes even if its my husband who Invited you
One thing I’ve learn in life once you decided to have kids put your mind that those kids are yours, you will be able to maintain them alone. These days life happens whether you married or not, you will thank me later.
Imagine being married to a well known director and you are not a known actress 👀. He couldn't even get her a role on Generations or Muvhango, I've seen Tebogo Thobejane on Muvhango she can't be worse than her. She must just drop that surname, it's not opening doors for her
I believe if you're not married and you are here saying she should left him long time ago and she shouldn't blame the side chick blahh blah aii just shut up and put yourself in this woman shoes let see how will you react and this woman not only called out the side chicks she called out the ex husband too
@interviwer, please learn to take control and give direction to an interview. I appreciate you not interrupting the guest but, you have to take the lead. People come here with their emotions all over and tend to want to give info and ommit certain aspects of their lives. It's up to you to provide them that support and direction. Too many questions could have been asked. Not necessarily to pry but, to give a clearer narrative of the story. O tshwara mo, o tlogele mo 😢.
Sorry for your pain sesi but I feel you should leave the kids out of your battles with their father. Don't encourage them to help you in the fight, they don't have a bone for it yet. Ask them to take the page down, rather you organise therapy for them. Husbands/wifes issues happens to most of us and we are never prepared. You actively saying your kids and you are fighting their dad makes you appear unreasonable and might affect your peagant venture
Watch the kids episode here: ua-cam.com/video/B4E-K5udyE8/v-deo.htmlsi=KsPBnvgXqkiUib4M
Lesson taken from this, never allow a person to ask you for a divorce more than once. Grant them their wish the 1st time!
Weitsi keng especially when it comes from a man yoh I feel like she betrayed herself so much.
@@lesam965she really betrayed herself. He asked for a divorce 3 times, he left 5 times. Aowa- the man really tried leaving so many times, why was she not allowing him? Light and healing to her sounds like this was becoming a hostage situation👀👀
I watched a video where a MAN said "when a person wants out of a relationship/marriage, open that door and shut it behind them....when a person dumps you, it's a decision he/she has taken a while back before uttering those words!
Ey!
She's addicted to pain, i mean why put yourself and your kids through this for so many years.. Noo!
I remember my mom told me when she met my dad he had nothing much she loved him regardless she helped him through her connections to go into a police academy, he got a good job great promotions and turned around and cheated on my mom, threw us out of the house and only supported us when he felt like it. Fast forward we are all successful without his help and he wants to build a relationship with us and gets offended when we don’t check on him regularly. What he doesn’t get is that even if we may have forgiven him, he didn’t take the time to nurture a relationship between us and him and so it doesn’t come naturally to us to check on him or visit him or do anything for him unless reminded or nagged about it 😂. I love him as a human and forgive him but it doesn’t change the damage he caused in our relationship
YHOOOO STORY OF MY LIFE .. EXACTLY WHAT MY DAD DOES NOW BUT HE HURT ME AS A CHILD 😢 I'm successful married to a lawyer and now he's forcing me to visit him
Your father is my husband 😭 yoh hai Police will do a number on you
My ex kanye
I don't want to sound like your mum is lying, but I strongly advise that you meet your dad ,if you haven't yet, and ask him direct questions against what your mother told you. In most cases women hardly want their kids to have a relationship with their fathers when they separate. They weaponise the need for kids to relate with their fathers. Find the reasons and reasoning behind from your father as well.
I'm not trying to say fathers don't simply abandon their children. And I'm not giving them excuses.
I was abandoned by my father too. My mom didn't want us to see him. I didn't know him until i got to see him when I was a young adult. I searched and found him myself for closure. I was already working and bery much okay in life. The void can not be closed by what my mom told me but what i got to know for myself. I realised that he was a rich man but irresponsible. I moved on with my life with peaceful closure.
This is a perfect example of time doesn't heal. It's what you do during "that time" that heals you.
That is soo true. Until she decides she is letting go, then she will understand what healing is
8.e 😂😅🎉@@angelinealfesta680
This hits hard on me. What I do with my time that will heal me.
@@angelinealfesta680True
Wow, very profound ❤
Im worried because she still wants to blame side chicks for her ex husbands wrongdoings.
As a woman one thing I have taken from this is DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CAREER AND YOURSELF FOR A MAN!! she needs a lot of healing
Nje 😢😢😢😢 whether you earn R500 a month it's ok
But telling the family to stop the side chick to leave your husband alone is too low . I won’t do that😅
@@pfuluLike?!!! Yhuuu 🙆🏾♀️
I always say that in my heart❤
Your husband was basically sleeping/taking advantage of women looking for work is disgusting. You were married to a monster. Love yourself sisi..
She loved unconditionally. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that she gave that love to the wrong man. She should’ve noticed and left sooner but we live to learn.
And GOd will bless her with someone that would be devoted to her nje yazi. Nxa amanye amadoda inene. She did love her marriage and respected her husband yhoo
Easier Said than done. Narcissist are a malignant entities. They are sent to entrap you in their demonic sphere with love bombing, breadcrumbing. I am glad she ist freed from that Bondage.
How does a man leave for 3 years and be accepted back?? Being financially dependent on a man is actually hell.
We have seen this time and time over. There were many men in my neighbourhood where I grew up who did this. There was one who left for 25 years and he was welcome back. My brother's father-in-law left for years at least 10 or so he returned when his daughters were older and getting married. He was there for the lobola. This is very common.
@@lo6291I wont chace him out but I will nicely build a hokkie at the back of my house
Five kids , single motherhood and dependency on a mans finance is a recipe for disaster
A financially-ish stable-ish men do that. backed by the family,the in-laws, the chruch and community. As the woman they are begged showed he did this for u "don't forget " then they look at the young kids happy to see their dad coz they are kids the mom protected them from seeing their father mistreat them. Then look at themselves still single " so why not, maybe he changed
@Iam_lehlohonolo this is true. Women get gaslit into staying with these men. Some will even be asked "does he buy groceries, do he hit you, he pays school fees for the kids etc". Women are given an impossible task of having to protect the kids, maintain the illusion of a family while the guy doesn't have that burden. This is conversation that needs to be had, ukuthi religion, culture and shame keep the women in shackles really. All in the name of being a "good woman, a good wife". This side she is revered, on the other side she is a joke whether she stays or leaves.
Some comments Neh, just wait until it happens to you directly or indirectly. Hold your head up my dear sister and thank you for sharing your story. God is still in control ❤
So true may God heal her and kids
Thank you. This comment made me change my perspective, you never know until you are in situation😢
Keep going my sister. You are a beautiful strong woman who has done so well for her children! May God bless you dear.
35 minutes into this I don't think Marrilyn loved the man more than herself. She loved and stayed because of her dream of having a united family. Her forgiveness was based on what she wanted.
For her to completely heal, has nothing to do with the man. She must accept that her dream of a united family is delayed and not denied.
I can only envision her after the healing. Congratulations in advance.
I love your comment ❤️
Beautiful comment! ❤
Such a profound comment
This is so discerning . I love it.
Your comment is profound!!!
I believe the older generation admire this generation of women who say “yes I love my man but I refuse to compromise mental health in the name of “bekezela”.
This reminds me of how at some point my dad treated me, my mom and little brother . He kicked us out and brought his two sons to stay at our home. Today I bought my mom a house and he's not allowed at that house. He's lonely and his sons do nothing for him. He wants them out but they refuse to leave. He's stuck with them now. He's now calling me asking for help and I do help there and there but it's not the same.
He totally getting what he deserves. Karma isn't kind. May you heal from your childhood trauma. Check out Gabor Mate, he helps with childhood neglect and stuff.
😢
❤
😢
If I were you I wouldn't help him, he doesn't deserve your help.
Thank God for these podcasts because people with power choose what to share and who to interview, but you guys are giving the voiceless the platform to talk and be heard.
I think we need to understand that this is still new. Of course she has not healed. How can she heal very quickly from a traumatic experience that has been happening for over a decade? She did mention that they finalised the divorce a month ago. And she’s still going to court for some things. She has not yet had time alone in all this. I don’t understand some people’s comments honestly🙄. Support is what she needs not to be scrutinised. However long it took what’s important is that she left finally.
She looks very good especially for a mother of 5.
I get her fully. She is an African woman brought up with deep African values. She trusted the union, valued and respected the husband, protected her marriage and family. This world is no longer for faithful women. We must understand this as women. Stop being too loyal to these narcissists, but deal with them the way they deserve. Reciprocate the energy, even if it is in prayer. Because GOD will come through hard. Focus on yourself and your children, heal internally and externally, work extra hard, invest in yourself, be beyond reproach. He will come crawling to apologize to you and the kids. Get out of the shame and do not care what, who says or thinks. Let nature deal with him. No matter how long it will take. Just focus on you. You are beautiful. It’s a great lesson for you. In future date you in the next relationship by investing in YOURSELF. Do not put him or anyone on a pedestal.
Absolutely…. Karma has no “sell by” date. We all reap what we sown
When she said, "this guy used to tell me he loves me everyday for ten years"😮...
I will never again judge a man who does not tell me he loves me everyday.
Same, my husband doesn’t say it but he sure does show it. Words can mean absolutely nothing when not backed by action
Narcissists love bomb so they can blame you when they mistreat you
The big lesson here is accept rejection. The first rejection by her ex husband would have saved this lady from so much humiliation.
In my view this lady needs time to heal shes far from being healed. Take the man to maintainance court and keep at it until something happens.
Accept rejection, that echoes deep within me, as painful as it is.
@@VeliswaMa
I agree with you. She should just accept that she's dealing with a narcissist and move on. She's too beautiful for this.
So.true, the sooner you leave the better. The more time and energy you give to a self centered Narc the worse the abuse and the harder the fall. Trust in God to heal her and let karma deal with the ex
😢😢😢
The way woman is telling her story,it's like she told my story😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 am healing through this
Ncooh wishing you the best mama ❤
May the good Lord heal you my dear and find peace again
Huggies to you my dear 🤗 you in my prayers 😂
This woman is BEAUTIFUL 😮😮I cannot get over her beauty❤😮
Dark dandy... Soo pretty and looks fit, she definitely gyms
100%@@modileshikoane8174
Absolutely gorgeous ❤
Guys i know her since i was born. All this time i thought she was abroad married to the Italian guy. She was always magical, her beauty then was unmatched. She never took herself seriously. She has STAR energy, getting offers from agencies around the world. She was one of the first black women to star in an international movie. Her story is not told. She was humble. Im distraught to bump into this. Life will steal your shine through humans. She is still gorgeous for a woman with 5 kids.. However she sacrificed her dreams for this man and her family clearly. My heart bleeds for you my sis. I wish for God to restore your light and bright so you bless us with YOUR talents. You have brilliant kids, and ul do fine.. God is not man to govern like one. He will heal and restore you to greatness... Your story will help other women.
Very beautiful!!!she's mesmerizing
Being financially dependent on a man who is not financially savvy is shooting yourself on the foot. Always think for the kids because basala nawe as a mother
True, it's a bad idea.
@@salvationmasinge4225look now he had them staying at his girlfriend's house mara men😂
God knows Sesi, he is probably going to taste the medicine he gave you, watch the space.women ,let's not rely on men bathong,you will be controlled left right and centre.the one who gives you food will also make you starve. GOD BLESS YOU. DON'T fight or blame this women, he is to be blamed.
Absolutely true, if a man has a support from her mother forget it
100%
I can relate.Had a restraining order against him but i realised there's no justice in SA.I was gonna die in that house,i packed my bags took my kids,left with nothing,rented a place,started from scrach.I'm at peace
May God continue to give you strength to carry your family through and through. The world is short of women who aren't afraid to start from scratch, most put up with a lot of abuse because they can't go back. Big up to you
May God multiply your portions Greatly
I once got dumped coz I chose to pursue my career. The moment I moved to another province, it was over! I used to question my decision sometimes. The biggest lesson from this episode was that I must always choose me, pour into myself. I feel like part of the hurt in this woman is choosing marriage over her dreams only to be let down. I hope she forgives herself and eventually finds healing. Oh man, to love a person can draw you back and leave you soooo consumed. I hope she realizes the man she married is not the same man.😢
choosing your career was the best decision katlego.
more women should make choices like yours 💘
I can listen to her the whole day... I like how she narrates the whole story ❤
She's a great narrator
It doesn't matter whether people understand why shes doing this interview, let her be, if this will help her move on allow her, dont come here as if your man is present in your childs life or in your relationship, If this is a strategy for her so what. You people need to walk in her shoes and stop shooting your mouths.
You acting as if when your man told u he was done u didnt throw tantrums or begged him to stay mxm leave this lady alone maybe talking to Promise will heal her, maybe she will be able to let go and move on, leave her alone, leave her alone. Mxm
❤🫂 beautifully said
Ladies can we choose ourselves please. 🤦🏽♀️
She was presented with multiple opportunities to choose herself but she continued to choose the other side though she was rejected. Even now she is fighting for the man. She is very far from healing, unfortunately.
Louder please yoooh
Cheers to that 🥂
Yes ❤❤❤❤ Amen 😘
How do we even begin to choose ourselves when we are so broken and looking for love externally? We need to first acknowledge our childhood pain and how it has affected our capacity to develop self-esteem and a healthy ego. Until we are able to bestow upon ourselves the gifts of acceptance, appreciation, affection, attention and allowance of freedom, we will always seek these from others.
I love how this podcast is like therapy. Promise you doing something amazing both for the guests and the viewers. Keep it up❤
I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids and I can not even begin to imagine the pain this woman is going through yet she seems to be trying to be seen as though she’s happy about the divorce 🥺💔
She’s hurting and I don’t think she would’ve divorced this man had this man not filed for divorce. She seems to be blaming so many people and I get it, she’s still hurting and probably In disbelief since the divorce was finalised last month.
This man met her at her prime, married and gave her 5 kids. She’s had to give up her dreams and leave the industry because of this man. This man has cheated on her with women who are in the industry and who are currently doing well in the industry, THE MAN himself is doing so well in the industry(I mean Shaka Ilembe IS HUGE!!!) I’m sure she must be feeling robbed of her dreams and I get why she’s just all over even in this interview and about that instagram page…
The more I watch this channel and that Boldly Owamie Chanel is the more I feel like I might just die alone ngoba NGIYASABA ABAFANA😭 guys Amadoda ayakwazi ukukuhlanyisa uphila saka😭😭
Sana?! This is precisely why I don’t want to have kids. Men are too unreliable. Next thing you know it you’re almost 50, with 5 kids and no resources to live the life he had got you accustomed to.
I see why she’s running this smear campaign, it’s justified. I just hate that it now makes her look like a mad woman and takes away her credibility. I wish she could have dealt with him in court, this man is making big money.
Spot on
Laleeela 😭💀 your last sentence is everything! Amadoda enjoy hurting us. The 5 kids were to sabotage her and slow her down 🥲 umona wamadoda when they see ur potential, is crazy! He convinced her to leave her job and depend on him, knowing very well that he had no intentions of fulfilling his husband duties of providing.
May we never leave our jobs for any man.
Even falling pregnant for men is risky.
May we never marry men that hate us 😭💔
Who is the ex husband?
@@MapulaMaria-cp7qn
Mqondisi Ngubane
Love your ability to listen without interrupting Promise. You are such a gentle lady❤
She is one strong woman honestly she has been through alot
This interview has broken me. May you and your kids find happiness one day. You are a smart woman who was just helplessly in love with the wrong man
One thing I am learning from these interviews is that men don't know how to love. They only know how to provide and to protect. Love is not encoded in them. And us women we go ahead and make matters worse for ourselves by having children with these men. It then becomes difficult for us to leave because we think about the kids.
But they don't need to know how to love in order to be compassionate. They just need to have a conscience and know that one cannot move on from his own children. Even animals know this by instinct. You find monkeys looking after a puppy or kitten, for example. By instinct. That's all. They just be human. A heartless species does not exist. Except, maybe , alligators that eat their own young. Men must learn compassion. That's all.
Love is compassion. Love is kind. Love is knows no envy. Love is patient. So men need to know how to love in general. Love comes with all those things. Men don't know how to love.
They dont know how to protect either. Protection is not known to them. How was he protecting when his financial security was broken to protect his family. When he left for three years how was he protecting his family when he was absence. They dont know anything but to make kids and cheat
One thing for sure men get bored easily and fast. You can have as many kids as u want with him but when is time for him to leave, he doesn't think twice
Correct
I think the guest is trying so hard to sound profound and is in actual fact just a woman scorned.. Masked in depth..
You put it perfectly
Yep, I agree with you.
I typed this and deleted, glad you could articulate my exact thought.
I love people who know how to articulate my thoughts. You hit the nail on the head
I wish I was brave like u
Your story will end in rejoicing. Keep your head high, find a church that builds spiritually, go back to acting, pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild. I did and im glad i started early, by the grace of God. Your story resonates with many of us and i can safely say I made it. My prayer life is what helped me and still does. God is with you strong Marilyn.
I really winced watching & listening to this. She is disoriented because she is obviously broken, stripped of her sanity, & has not yet healed "by the look of things." And it is OKAY;
I dont think anyone gets married to be divorced with kids. With that being said, how I wish she'd waited a few months to evaluate her post-divorce feelings. Eish & refrain from talking about her ex-in-law's & individuals in his life, he made a mess & treated her disrespectfully; it came across as resentful & repulsive. She needs her friends & family right now to vent enough & get her *bearings back*. That she won't have to put those kids in the middle & can return stronger for herself & them. She appears to be playing in his gallery right now.
But let it be, if this aids in her healing. Human relationships are not easy. Phrase true to saying time heals everything. Give it time. *Give it time babygirl*❤️
I understand her, I have been there. You put in everything until you’re empty. I almost took my own life but I was saved by the grace of God. Sometimes the cut is too deep that healing seems so far away. I wish both the man and their side chicks could understand the pain they cause. I can only wish her speedy healing if ever possible and find purpose and love from her children.
@@mahafrika7116 Fully understand. 🫂some of us went through that passage, we thank the `lords social media was in its infancy. Therapy does wonders but it's a journey quite a long and annoying journey looking back am grateful for having the tenacity to go through it. it takes time and wishing her all the best of luck.💞
Let's be financially independent and love ourselves more.
Mina, I believe her. Men do this type of behavior and for some men how they treat their kids is depended on what type of relationship they have with their mother. They will take care of the kids if they are still romantically involved with their mother. Some will go as far as starting a new family then act as if they are first time parents while they have other kids from a previous relationship. And for those who say she is hurt, of cause she is hurt. It is totally normal in such a situation.
The problem with our society is that girls are raised to value marriage more while boys sre taught to value other things more.
It is a total mismatch hence the problems. And sadly her religious boundaries also kept her captive to a situation that wasn't good for her. I don't think she is lying. We have seen so much of similar situations around us. So let's not act like what she shared is inconceivable when we see it every day. I hope she heals yes, i hope she continues talking. For generations women have suffered in silence. Sadly my brother is one of these types of men and i feel for his wife and baby mamas also. It breaks our hearts. I wish she( sis in-law) will also stop protecting him and his lies.
I hear you 100 percent, but sometimes stories can be similar, but it doesn't mean that's the same thing. There's a lot of loopholes in this story. Even with religion and culture, we all always have choice and free will. He left 3 times, and he eventually divorced her. We can not just ride the wave that men are bad anymore. There's accountability.
@Andtherewaslight427 I understand where you are coming from but let's be fair, regious brainwashing is a real thing. We can not underestimate that. Many women and men have stayed in bad situations because of fear of being rejected from their religious community. In some churches/denomination you can even get excommunicated for getting divorced. Her accepting this man over and over might have been because of that heavenly reward pull. Even her remark on "I hoped that woman would make him a better person", like the man is being good is bound on the woman's goodness. That alone is a religious way of thinking. I mean it is very well known and taught that the girls are responsible for the men's lust or lack of control. That kind of teaching can be very hard to break free from.
Agreed! However, ladies, we cannot continue to blame the others for our own hurts. We aren't trees planted and cannot move. We can move and heal. We can choose to change our narrative.
"They will take care of their kids when they are still romantically involved with their mother"
May I add, they will have a relationship with their own child while they are still romantically involved with their mother, how cruel to the children!
@@Andtherewaslight427ABSOLUTELY!!!!WELL SAID! ACCOUNTABILITY❤❤❤
Blame the man!!! THE MAN!!! THE MAN!!! Leave the women alone. The man is the problem not Ayanda, not Brenda!!! That man is the problem, has been the problem, will always be the problem. You must also be accountable for the role you played in this whole thing! Otherwise enjoy your single life and may your next love be genuine, gentle and real❤❤
You as the woman also become part of the problem when you know he has a family but that’s not your problem you want to continue with it, even going to the extent of telling him to break up with her
Are we watching same podcast. She's blaming the ex husband too. Obviously you choose to ignore that so you can bash her as usual. The women/ mistresses are not innocent either, they knew he was married.
Exactly she's not blaming this women only, she blames her ex husband. Other women in our marriage are worse😢😢😢
@@mluck8386The nyatsis took an illicit invitation, knowing very well that it is forbidden fruit. Opportunists. 😂😂😂
@@nette2144operative word: INVITATION!! Other women enter upon request, they will treat your marriage with the same level of respect your spouse displays towards it, you do not have the right to expect strangers to hold your marriage to a higher level than the person you are married to, he took the vow, he owes it to you! If doesn’t care trust & believe he find others that don’t care too
Those women yes, they did wrong before God for dating a married man BUT the one who is to be blamed for the failed marriage is the HUSBAND! He destroyed the marriage himself! To all women out there, what are you doing with a married man? RESPECT YOURSELVES.
Married men who cheat are the home wreckers, the side chicks are just tools being used
I honestly have to thank Promise for this podcast, what an eye opener for so many. I wish Marylin and her kids all the success and healing. I am so proud of them for speaking out! This was such an interesting episode
My heart breaks for this woman. I really wish women would stop idolising marriage to this extent. Giving up the best years of your life for a man who belittles and disrespects you so much. You’re worth so much more and your value is not determined by the ring, if the institution breaks you…LEAVE!
I hope she finds healing and realises her worth 😢
It’s the bloody church. We really need to start teaching people about the history of marriage coz they’ve literally attached it to their faith now.
Marylin still has a long way to go in terms of healing. It doesn’t seem to me like she has accepted that he left her so many times, for other women and it was his choice and his alone. The moment she reconciles the action of being left not once but many times- many areas of her pain, will be healed and it will have nothing to do with the women.
Healing starts when you stop pointing a finger at the other person and start pointing it back at yourself. Trying to understand why you allowed yourself to be treated that way and why you stayed. A lot of which is rooted in childhood trauma.
It starts with ADDRESSING - looking directly at the issue, then PROCESSING - acknowleding and paying attention to your feelings, and exploring their implications, then RESOLVING - sitting with your feelings until they change or reveal a path that leads deeper into yourself.
People are too quick to speak this woman is a victim of abuse abuse abandonment in marriages hit s differently
I know the pain that these children and their mother are going through. Because me, my siblings and my mother we are facing the same problem. As I'm listening to her speaking it feels like she is telling my story because our father is doing exactly what her ex husband is doing. And what hurts the most is that our father took everything my mother had and we are left with nothing but poverty and the law does nothing about that.😢
🫂❤️
This family needs to refocus their energy to something less consuming. This is not healthy. Therapy is needed here.
Girl has not healed 😔 Still in love with the guy
Leaving a marriage is not easy! I understand why she is in so much pain.
Bcos she was a faithful wife and loved him with All heart l can relate.now l look at myself and be like girl we you crazy protecting someone who didn't love or care about you
If only single women understood this as I get older I now understand
This gave me so much perspective. Thanks for sharing Marilyn. It’s always good to share your story. Do whatever you need to do to heal.
heal my sister i feel your pain my mom is in an abusive marriage of 23 years to date she is not brave enough to step out and she hurts everyday it affects us as kids my siblings are 18 and 13 its sad what they go through everyday i am not staying with them but im part of the hurt. i hope my mom one day becomes brave to divorce for my siblings sake and me and mainly her happiness. You will be well my sister time will heal your pain and well done on raising those well spoken beautiful children alone for years they are your blessings💕
She's like your mother, my mom now is 45 years with a narcissist husband.. I gave up u tried to convince many years ago.
I can't believe this episode opened up all my closed scars 😞 the pain of being a parent
🫂 it’s okay babe, ride the wave and remember you are not there anymore❤
The pain of being a single parent 😢
Eii sana😭
Men make us look crazy struuu
She looks like a lunatic shem
Say that again 😢
The most painful thing is to love someone who knows that no matter what he does you will still forgive him😢that destroys you as a person 😢I feel her pains.Children are born in marriage now they are treated like they were never wanted 💔 life sucks 😢
No Woman broke your family. The man you married did. Men aren’t babies
Very True. Painfull truth we do not want to admit as women ❤🥵
Only two people have the key to their marriage gate. Anyone who comes through the gate is given permission by either one or both parties! Unfortunately there are opportunists in life who will gladly walk through the gate even though the invitation is illicit!
So true, will neva blame another woman mina
The guy hates the mother of his children and wanted to destroy her, but she never saw it coming cause she was in love always read between the lines😢
Bingo!
Love hurts
Straight 😭😭
I agree with you 😭
And it’s comforting for a woman to put the problem on another woman! It’s clear that Brenda is not the problem as he moved on to others. You chose an irresponsible man who lacks integrity and who couldn’t commit to one woman, it’s painful to accept but he’s 100 percent accountable for all the pain.
Stay financially independent women! Marriage gives no man the right to determine how much you work. It will eventually end if it’s not meant to be anyways. Work, work, work!
Oh my God Merilyn
I relate to your life journey, so much similarities., the same demonic attack as I refer to this experience.
Having been there. I can only say, God is on the Throne. Focus on praying for your children as I believe the attack is about your children's greatness. You need to cover them in prayer daily because they may be your challenge moving forward as they wrestle with this situation and can be misled. Also stay focused on building yourself because it takes a while. Your children's destiny is in your wisdom and strength.I wasted time after my then husband divorced me, his remarriage and his subsequent death, wrestling the marriage demon and not focusing on embracing my BLESSED NEW BEGINNINGS. To date I wait for my divorce settlement he failed to honour when alive, now from his ongoing late estate, 6years later today. These are the things that can hold you bondaged as I was. But looking back now I am so grateful that God was who I needed at my corner and saved me from myself and circumstances.
May God protect you from yourself as that can be the challenge and grant you wisdom and strength and a blessed life ahead. Keep your eyes on Jesus and LIVE!
It's hard being a woman, especially a black child. What a strong woman, may God keep on protecting her and the kids
I understand why she is sharing her life story. This will deliver a lot of wives going through what she went through 10 years ago. This will give many courage to choose themselves and trust God to provide. This will give many ill-treated and disrespected wives the strength to put loyalty aside and be loyal to themselves and their children. Many see her mistakes, but I see her bravery, her resilience, her faith, and unfortunately she put it in the wrong man. God will fight for you Marilyn, continue to seek the face of God and put your children first. The rest will sort itself out.
The husband was a Narcissist. Study narcissism, it will help you understand his behavior. They thrive on empathetic people. Tx for sharing your story. You not the only 1. He did that because it seemed u wanted it more than him which is not fair.
Yes I agree. I wish she did the work to heal all those years back.
Poor Empaths attract these monsters. It's been happening for centuries my sister. Try to manage yourself, Narcs don't change. They are always looking for supply. He's going to dump the other ladies as well. Focus on your business & the kids.
True and it can assist a lot of people. For them, it's the supply you are just another tick on their bucket list. However, she should never have allowed him back the first time.
This hair suits you so much, Promise! ❤
She is hurt and angry because the ex husband does not support the kids. I understand where she is coming from. It's not easy to be a single mom😭😥. When the kids are old and taking care of themselves she will forget and move on.
There can never be healing without accountability.....
Narcissist,they play mind games.They are so good with giving mixed signals,hot and cold.They torture you and the kids,they make you question your sanity.
They up and leave when you just had the best night,leaving you questioning what you did wrong and when you ask the answer is always "everything is fine".
Forgive and let him go my darling,God is in control.
I love this Interview so much. I am going through a major separation and I am in therapy. I went through hell. I must however, say my ex came from a loving and dotting Family. He in Turn was a horrible to me. My friends however, have husbands who come from broken homes and their wives the Same Thing.But they are in great marriages that are so wonderful. Some men are Just WHO they are.
After watching the full episode I can't judge her.I can't fault her for involving the kids. The system has failed her and her children 😢😢
Chesaaaaa girlllll
I love your background 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 (thank you for removing di aparo tsele😂)
And look at how beautiful you are🎉🎉🎉 make up...hair..outfit on point❤
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Marilyn swiftly move on my dear sister. Ask God for strength and wisdom to be able to deal with this man without breaking. He's probably enjoying this... It's 2024, find a way to HEAL... May God give you strength and may you remember who MARILYN is🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Seems like she is still stuck in the life/love they shared, she needs to heal for herself and for her kids.
It’s not that easy after so many children and let’s not forget it’s not her who fell out of love.
Sometimes it's not even about the marriage, its stripping away what your children are used to..
Don't oversimplify her story. With children together, lots of them at that, she's allowed to take her time. She's an intelligent woman who knows what she needs to do when. Not in anyone else's time.
I cried when you mentioned how your son took the news.
Life doesn’t make sense in the flesh or in the present which is here on earth. Marylin I know you will understand what I’m saying. You played your part respectfully, honourably and obediently. Greater is your reward to come. And now that this chapter of your marriage chapter is closed, you are still young and can now start living again. God bless you.
She's just gorgeous. All round. Refined and graceful. She's overqualified for that mediocre marriage! Good riddance.
It's the beautiful genuine women and men who get hurt and dragged in the mud
My heart goes out to her no one deserves this especially the innocent children. The fact that she is still standing and can narrate her story is commendable. Women go through the most in this institution called marriage and many suffer in silence and the children helplessly take it all. I pray for healing for the lady and her children. One lesson for everyone - if people show you who they are believe them. Hurt people hurt others and those that have trauma from abandonment and do not heal are generally incapable of having healthy relationships and will in turn abandon their loved ones. This one was beyond you and you did not know any better like some us because you were young. Work on yourself and your children to heal and all the best 🙏🏽🫂
Amen to that❤
The way this woman is in love with her ex, it's tough. She's still blushing when she recalls back. Shame😢
I don't think she's blushing because she still loves him. Moments don't cease to be beautiful and amazing just because a person has wronged you. She's blushing because that moment made her feel like that at the time. When I recall a moment with my ex and it was funny, I laugh but it doesn't mean I love him.
And that was her downfall! She adored an irresponsible man that didn’t want her anymore. Such insults! Calling off divorce, getting forgiven and being rewarded with a baby! Where is the society that calls men out!
What a beautiful woman
This is your story, tell it how you want to. I admire your courage ❤
My biggest wish for us as women is to stop attacking other women and name calling them, while we protect the men, the culprits. Many women have been mentioned here by name, but not once has the 'husband' been mentioned by name, even though he is the one that has caused so much heartache to his family! May you come to a point of total healing Marilyn, you've been through a lot!
How have you listened to the podcast?????? She mentioned his name & even emphasized on the click of the "Mx" Duhhhhh🙄
Promise you look absolutely beautiful ❤
Absolutely 💯 👌
Too much 🔥
Absolutely beautiful ❤
So much 😊
O motle xem,love you girl
Thank you for your courage to speak out, some of us who went through what you went through understand why you kept on forgiving, as an ex pastor s wife , I was told to pray and continue to forgive, ... Is so hard to make marriage with a narcissist work, the battle never ends. I pray for your healing and restoration ❤
Your ex-husband has narcissistic traits. Those people are very toxic and do not change. They thrive on other people's pain including their own children. Empower yourself by listening to topics about narcissm, you heal faster sister. God is good, speedy healing to you empath.
Who is this Ngubane ex husband?
She's still in love with her ex and refuses to let go of her loss and pain. She must forgive herself and the rest is history
You will never understand her pain until you have walked in her shoes,it's not a walk in the park.
@@loicebaraza🤞🤞🤞💯
Divorce was only finalized two months ago. It's too early. Let her take her 10 20 50 years or lifetime.
@@LukeRev480😂 Aowa. I hope not. No human being deserves to take your power away like that. I don’t care what the pain is.
So what if she still love her ex, at least her love was genuine for the person she married. She's allowed to take all the time she needs. That's normal
I wish she could just answer the questions without trying to sound so deep and profound, because her story deserves to be heard. It’s exhausting listening to her, there’s too much circling around.
Her journey, her story, her truth, her healing. Verbatim.
Its Natural ,Some people are poetic # Verbatim
@@Zee0126 💯❤️
It’s very insensitive to say listening to her is exhausting though tbh, you can just skip the video. She might not even be tryna be “ so deep and profound”, HER story is that deep to
HER. She lived it, it wasn’t a summarised version of her life. The way we all deal with trauma is different. And people’s definition of trauma is not the same too. I always tell my patients that a broken heart is the only pain that doesn’t have medication. It’s a feeling that no one can actually describe. Same as grief. Let’s be kind to each other.
Your comment just wore me out... but such are humans....
Can we tell our kids when we are divorcing and stop dredging this emotional abuse for so long . If someone give you a divorce letter three times ,why are you still staying there.
viva
I think she did state the reasons why she was end up not signing the papers
We stay because of this bekezela mshado unzima syndrome wasting our precious energy and time with narcissist.l always tell my daughter to love.priorities herself and be financial independent marriage is a bonus
never let a man/woman tell you they don't want you twice!!!
What a pure aura Marilyn🔥. Beautiful woman she is. May God heal u and ur kids.mxm shem such a woman of character
Go to set mama ... Police will accompany you... That's peace of mind I tell you.. I rocked up to serve him at his home .. the disappointment and embarrassment but it had to be done ... Please consider this. It's for your kids..
@ Marilyn make a movie, turning pain into power
So sorry mommy.Very tough raising kids on your own.Noone wins when families break
Yhoo life is very tough...people tend to change in a relationship and become monsters...very sad though 😭😭
Sad story but as mothers let’s try and do better for ourselves and kids, the longer we stay in such marriages this hurt kids the most. Love and light to her
Thank you for sharing and teaching through your painful experience. This is precisely one of the reasons I support the notion that 98% of the time, 'MARRIAGE IS A SCAM'
Don't judge you will never know what's happening behind the curtains. We always stay in a relationship and make excuses about children not knowing that them experiencing the fights and parents stresses make things worse
Your story is 80% my story, my ex hasn’t had a relationship with our kids for 20 years, was also married very young for 10 years, my sister we need to meet, we have so much in common. You’ll be okay girl ❤
I get irritated when ex spouses tell their ex family history. It is his story to tell his family history, not hers. She should focus on the end of their marriage and her healing.
Some context to the interview would have been nice. How long were they married for etc. Instead we were just thrown into the deep end from the start till the end with no sound understanding of what exactly the interview was about.
The interview was about humiliating him. His just got married. She wants to use the public to go blast Ayanda. She's playing dog fetch. I am saying this because after the entire 1 hour conversation, you're left with, uburhalele sithini, if you have exhausted all avenues? That's my take. I might be very wrong.
Which Ayanda is this? Thabethe or the Ayanda from Isibaya? I’m sooo confused😮
@@goetsimangmay9339 I am so confused guys who is this guy and who is this Ayanda 😂😂😂😂
@@nokwazishezi7580 Ai I don’t recognise these faces🤦♀️
@@goetsimangmay9339from Smoke n mirrors
Hay girl, you were an enabler here. Sorry to say. 5 kids with a guy who treats you like that?
It’s ok to hurt. Don’t allow people to make you feel like you are unreasonable or crazy. It doesn’t matter. You are going through this. Life is fair, the universe will respond for you. Take my word. I’m also praying for you
Thank you for this comment it sort of validates my feelings in so many ways that I don't even know how to explain 😢
Im gonna say something that sound irresponsible but can we stop forcing these men to take responsibility 🤷🏽♀️... if they want to be parents, great! But if not... i doubt any amount of pleaing and begging will wake them up from their slumber. Because this can be so draining that you miss out on enjoying life and finding love again! Life is not a rehearsal unfortunately, life is happening now! Let my dear, enjoy your kids and enjoy your life 💫💖
And why does it have to take more than 1 child to realize that someone is a deadbeat 😮
Exactly @@_molebogeng6281
5 children later and he's married to someone else and she's still dealing and drained and bitter. It's sad. And she's so beautiful it's such a shame.
@@_molebogeng6281Exactly. And she hardly takes accountability for the role she’s played in her own demise. There’s a lot of information she’s withholding, which makes her version of events untrustworthy.
@lebom2456 I do not agree with your comment. Yes, sometimes people have to force parents that do not want to be parents to at least be financially responsible. If not, when that child grows up to be the next great thing, the very parent who didn't want to be involved will be taking the credit, and that is when the real headache of the parent who has been taking care of this child will start. The bitterness and anger. So make them responsible if you can. Blast their name all over, if you can. Because selfish people will never waste an opportunity to shine.
Her beauty is natural, her resilience is our of this world, how can she managed to stay beautiful after so much she went through😭😭😭😭😭😭
Watched this episode, then the kids and I had to come back and comment. I understand her anger and pain, it's not just for her but for her kids aswel. The husband is totally to blame for breaking up his home but at some point women need to stop telling other women not to blame and be angry at the side woman. It's not cool to go date a married men, knowing what it's going to do to his kids and then say "I don't owe you loyalty". Yes you don't but you are part of the problem.
I definitely wouldn't go confront and argue with the side though.
Eh my sister??
@@lemogangomatla5328 wassup
I'm married and if my husband cheats I deal with alone. But if he cheats with a lady that knows me in my home I deal with them both. Yes even if its my husband who Invited you
This Ayanda of a girl will face the music of this narcicist. She must ask Brenda
One thing I’ve learn in life once you decided to have kids put your mind that those kids are yours, you will be able to maintain them alone. These days life happens whether you married or not, you will thank me later.
Everytime he came back she fell pregnant when she was supposed to be focusing on her career. Yoh ai!
😢😢😢 why so many kids ?
Imagine being married to a well known director and you are not a known actress 👀. He couldn't even get her a role on Generations or Muvhango, I've seen Tebogo Thobejane on Muvhango she can't be worse than her. She must just drop that surname, it's not opening doors for her
@@_molebogeng6281who's the husband?
I believe if you're not married and you are here saying she should left him long time ago and she shouldn't blame the side chick blahh blah aii just shut up and put yourself in this woman shoes let see how will you react and this woman not only called out the side chicks she called out the ex husband too
Those side chicks knew he was married man they even went as far going to court with him
Marrilyn thank you for sharing your story.
@interviwer, please learn to take control and give direction to an interview. I appreciate you not interrupting the guest but, you have to take the lead. People come here with their emotions all over and tend to want to give info and ommit certain aspects of their lives. It's up to you to provide them that support and direction. Too many questions could have been asked. Not necessarily to pry but, to give a clearer narrative of the story. O tshwara mo, o tlogele mo 😢.
Sorry for your pain sesi but I feel you should leave the kids out of your battles with their father. Don't encourage them to help you in the fight, they don't have a bone for it yet. Ask them to take the page down, rather you organise therapy for them. Husbands/wifes issues happens to most of us and we are never prepared. You actively saying your kids and you are fighting their dad makes you appear unreasonable and might affect your peagant venture
Sesi emma aswiendliwi sweswo..
If you are a woman and a mother