I lived with a Murderer (Part 1) | Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 2 | Season 3
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- From being in love to fearing for her life! Our guest, Lucky Mthembu, shares her story on how a man she once loved turned into a monster who almost destroyed and took her life.
Studio Guest: Lucky Mthembu
#UnpackedWithRelebogile
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The part where she said narcissists know their victims : lack of boundaries, peace-makers, level of brokenness, always want to fix people.
Ladies, most of us typically find ourselves carrying these characteristics. Don't delay! Baleka!!!!
😢
eish true
I am also a peace maker, even if you were th 1 in th wrong it's a shame people take advantage of such a beautiful characteristic
So true
@@kzeetha That's me..he took advantage of me😥
Joh... sometimes being single is the best option. People can be so possessive
True. If you see how I'm glowing. People think I have a man. But a man is not responsible for my glow. I'm single and worked on myself and God is blessing me.
Our men in SA need to shift focus to loving and protecting our women and kids
m.ua-cam.com/video/SRueeln3WDA/v-deo.html
All I can say is people like things they don't see, I'm also a victim. Lol let's learn not to use language to rewrite our mistakes.
Being single can definitely have its advantages. It's all about embracing what brings you joy and fulfillment.
She looks like Katlego Danke, Thathi in Gomora. I'm so sorry about your mother my dear😢😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏
at first glance I thought it was her.
Bayafana, thought the same
True
I thought she was Vanessa Marawa. Vanessa Marawa is tall and has the same sharp features. There is a definite resemblance to Katlego Danke but Katlego Danke is shorter and her face isn't as long as this lady's. Bilut I see it too.
@@mafusilephoto7244 Yes, I definitely see that resemblance more
Relebogile is a sound brilliant host. She guides her guests well and manages to swiftly bring them back when she feels some details are being skipped and this allows the guest to tell the story very well. She understands that its important for everyone understands that its her experience and she is in no way an expert on concepts like narcissism. What an eye opening conversation.
Becky Phala I always say Kelebogile is top top interviewer.I'm always blown away she's brilliant
Very true she does her job well making guests feel comfortable
She's the best host
It really was unnecessary its not as if people here don't have Google.
She's sensitive and emotionally intelligent. Even that falls short to articulate the depth of her Soul from which her brilliance and intelligence bubbles forth.
Oh Lucky. She was in my masters class, she was actually my partner for RM2 I think. I remember how one time when I was seated next to you, you could sense that I was in danger. My bestfriends gf, whom I suspect had something to do with his murder had threatened to do something to me. Honestly I wasn't scared, I knew God had my back. You then proceeded to tell me the story about your ex-fiancé. I often find myself thinking about you a lot, I hope you are doing good. It's good seeing your growth. From the crippling anxiety you used to have and not being able to attend classes and stand in front of the class to present to being on such a huge platform. I'm so proud of you.
❤
Thank you for sharing this story! This is why I love this community!
😪 we go through so much as women we need to be kinder to each other 💔
You right
Absolutely.....I must say I have always been surrounded by women who are the best support system! We really do need each other!
True. Nomia Ndlovu
Please My Love ❤️
And yet our struggles are the same but different. We CAN save each other
❤️🎀
That is a whole matter of fact!
You’d swear that we dated the same guy😭One moment we were all lovey dovey and the next I was bruised.Ngaphuma ngathi ngyabuya ,changed continents,3years later I haven’t healed but Im happier
Love and light sis ❤❤
I really wish you comfort,love and light 💡
I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm glad you left.
Regardless, your resilience is inspiring. Healing takes time, and I'm glad to hear you're finding happiness. Keep shining bright!
She has such a strong sense of self, fully aware of herself and personality, really incredible. What a story to live to tell!
After you dated a narcissist, you learn a lot about yourself
She is just telling you one side. A story has two sides
@@tounganaf her mother was murdered sdidi
I believe in the power of storytelling!
We were in the same class at university, she was always reserved. We coincidentally come from the same township as well, Hammarsdale. Wish she heals ✌️
The first red flag is enough, let's love ourselves
Exactly
1
Steve Harvey said "stop collecting red flags"
Yep!!
Let’s normalise running after the first red flag indeed
Lucky was really good at articulating herself ... what a great interview
She’s very well spoken. So interesting to listen to, very sad story 💔
Our men in SA need to shift focus to loving and protecting our women and kids
m.ua-cam.com/video/SRueeln3WDA/v-deo.html
The minute you have to google someone’s actions and behaviour in an attempt to understand them, the. You know you are dealigg by with narcissists, psychopaths, etc.
This!!!!!
Mmm true
🎯
💯💯💯💯💯
Trusting your instincts is so important. Always prioritize your well-being.
Her distinct Isizulu is hard to go unnoticed. I'm Swati and I hear and understand every single word🥰🥰
I went
through this....its been 15years since i left him and iam soooooo glad i did....back then i was too young and didn't know that i was dealing with a narcissist !OMG!
Girl you not alone , it's so deep and they are so manipulative
Sis Relebogile's voice is so soothing and beautiful..i wouldnt mind watching a whole documentary narrated by her❤
Same.
Red flags are always there
Let's normalize leaving as soon as we see the first red flag don't wait to see how red the flag is💔💔💔this is sad
You know people say I give up too quick when th ey tell me stories and I advise them to leave I know ppl who get kicked out and things taken from then when the guy is mad and they stay... Like you cannot tell me this person loves you and he keeps doing it coz first time he did it you allowed it and now he knowa he can do his and still get you back... Girl I walk away from every single red flag friends or relationship
My daily preaching!!! You see it red just leave coz once he knows that you tolerant of such toxic behaviour, you dead.
Our men in SA need to shift focus to loving and protecting our women and kids
m.ua-cam.com/video/SRueeln3WDA/v-deo.html
Her story sounds similar to mine, but mine didn't have the physical fights but the narcissist behavior. On the 4th year(2021 March), a month after burying my mom, we called it a quits and I havent looked back, even though the low self-esteem in me wants him back but I've stayed stronger in prayer because emotionally this man abused me. Lots of love to her ❤
May her soul rest in perfect peace
Love you Sima for your decision. We need take action from these monsters called man.
Omg, Lucky!! She was a few grades ahead of me in primary school, smart af and so down to earth. Shame man 🥺
Knowing your worthy is very important... Self love comes first, if things are not working let's learn to let it go my ladies😭💕I think we must also invite a man who was an abuser or who was also abused.
Hi sis Relebogile.This platform is very informative and helps raise awareness about the current predicaments inflicted to women in society. I would formally ask you to please do coverage for gender based violence (Sexual abuse) that happens at schools .I am ready to break my silence
Honestly nna I don't take any red flag lately especially after my previous relationship...even a silly joke that rubs me the way wrong I will go...I won't tolerate nonsense again nna I hv been through the most hle...
Same here, I literally lose interest.
Same here, I lose interest right there and then
Same. Trauma reaction
Ladies. This information is gold! Women, let's learn from each other's experiences.
She's so intelligent❤️
Intelligence and curiosity lead to amazing conversations. Let's keep learning and growing together.
I love this show so much especially today’s episode because I am a mental health youtuber and I shot a video on narcissist personality disorder
Love Lucky's accent she's a good story teller.
Sisi Lebo it's been long didn't have data to watch your shows for a month...it was traumatic....still love you and the content....sending you love from Zimbabwe🇿🇼🇿🇼🇿🇼
I remember running into Lucky at the psychiatric ward she’s talking about as I was going to visit a friend of mine. My heart broke as I had read about her moms death in the newspaper.😟
I honestly thank God for saving me from abusive men. Every time I find out that an ex is abusive towards their current partner I'm gobsmacked cos it could have literally been me😢This interview has helped me pick up red flags from the very beginning of the relationship. Love and light to this beautiful woman 🤗May you find your true prince charming
"Every time"? Yoh men.
I can relate. Ive later heard that exes were abusive too. To be honest though it always starts to make sense once i hear about it. My gut always told me something was off
Yoh! This is heavy😭 imagine someone murdering your mother just because he wants to control you!!
I love how she keeps saying Akere ❤️
Me too 🥺
Lucky seems like such a beautiful soul. There's so much of her story that I can relate to, being an empath; drawing in the narcissist because of the loving personality we give to the universe, only to be pray of "Mufasa". One can only be grateful that she got out of this alive🙏🌻
Lol "only to be pray of mucosa " I try by all means to enjoy me being alone cause when it's time to deal with people ke bothata
Kill someone’s mother just because you want to be in control? Wow! I’m glad this beautiful lady is alive and doing well to share her story today. Domestic violence is real, the more we open up about it, the better it will be for someone in that situation to speak up and get help help to get out.
@Naledi Remotely yooo my heart dropped too.
This guy always tells me that if he ever finds me cheating he will kill me or even kill my mother😭😭😭i need to run,help me Lord
@@ayandamoyo5494 Yes, you need to start planning your exit or just RUN…
I can relate.
@@ayandamoyo5494 don't follow your lustful thoughts that keeps you there leave ,run for your life these men are cruel!
I remember this lady in her prime. I'm sad this is what was happening behind closed doors ☹️
Me too , I’m saddened
Really ? U knew her? Wow
@@hlengiwemasondo2858 i mean from TV and billboards. She was hte face of Ponds at some point.
@@thandokuhle5239 ohh yess! I’ve been wondering why her face looks so familiar. Aw bakithi!
She is sooooo beautiful eloquent in her speech and can share her story very well
I love how self aware she is right now...what was meant to break you made you stronger darling! That man gave you a story that you need to tell so that many woman can be freed. I'm proud of you!
Yoo Rele the way u ask question and summarizes what she says so that u are in the same page, is a marvel to watch, uyiProfessional straight nd two beers, im learning
She’s good, she’s such a good listener l always say👏👏👏👏
I wish she could teach me how to speak. I'm equally empathetic but my delivery, iyoooo! most times it comes out harsh.
@spice faith its a rare skill these days
@prayer seabelo yaz if u can continue listening to her, look at her demeanor and deportment those attributes are more likely to rub off on u.
@@sizwekoomtheMc she engages with everyone including us and when she feels that there’s a certain word which we might not understand, she explain it in simple-terms to make sure we still follow ,big ups to her no flash cards no laptop on her brains 👏👏👏👏
Thank you for this ❤️ As a narc-survivor I enjoyed this episode, just reflecting on what I've been set free from.
Relebogile is a great interviewer, makes people feel safe. Ensures no one is left behind while being respectful to her interviewee, 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. Words are not enough to comment on the strength within Lucky
Rele please normalize offering guests drinks😍💃
🧐
Hai wena, 🙄
It's ijjjjjjjjijjjnn. Loo
😅😅
True ,a glass of water helps
My goodness. What a sad story😭😭😭😭 Thank you for sharing Lucky.
My goodness, people go through the most 🥺😭
We are what our names say. Lucky You are Lucky.
She is speaking facts. I'm happy she is touching micro-actions narcissist do. I have experienced EXACTLY what she's saying when it comes to those kind of men. Ladies listen properly to her and learn so we can try to catch on these red flags sooner than later. The sooner we catch them we can leave with minimum trauma.
"The creator of your problems and the solver of your problems" - so powerful. My narcissistic ex would drive me into depression then offer to pay for my antidepressants every month. Yikes
Oh my!
She is gorgeous and exudes self awareness ♥️
I'm traumatized 🙆😭
I love her posture and the way she articulates herself🤌🏻
She's so poised!
I’m so sorry you went through this. You’re so beautiful, so intelligent and I wish you nothing but joy and happiness going forward. Thank you Relebogile for this amazing and important show ❤️
This episode traumatized me, I kept waking up at night thinking about it.
I wish Relebogile could be given more gigs especially of this interactive talk shows... She is good
I'm sorry about her Mom shem. God will prevail.
I just can't believe the kind of things that women go through, it really breaks my heart. Such a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman. May God heal her wounds and help her to find some kind of peace in her heart. 😥
SAPS really fail South African women 😭😭😭😭😭
bruhh✋💔💔💔💔😭
@@naledi0017 girl I was beaten up trying to save a friend who went back to the abuser boyfriend. What happened? The cops blamed me and when I pressed charges the state lawyer told me to drop the case because I should have run away instead of trying to save my then friend. I don’t like living overseas as I do now but I’m safe unlike back home at the place I absolutely love 😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@Thoughtsbyme-ts4jz mxm tf thou 🤒🤒🤒
True
Like are they even a thing ???? Do they exist????
That host needs to understand that there is something called narcissistic abuse, not every abuser is a narcissist but every narcissist is an abuser. Calling it narcissistic abuse is very important because this form of abuse is the most sinister form of abuse there is.
I completely agree with you. I think people fully understand narcissism once they’ve been through it so the host has no clue what it is hence she just calls it abuse.
I agree with this view, the host needs to beef up her knowledge…
❤
Relebogile Mabotja is a great listener and the best interviewer. I love her😌💯ai
I'm not and will never be the same after learning that her mom was murdered 🥺💔
This is so sad shem
The lady is an amazing story teller, i throughly enjoyed watching this, she kept me glued. Love her ❤💕
Sho! Glad to see you alive after such an ordeal! What happened to the guy - I hope he is serving a 100 years behind bars!!
The devil is dead
You know what sometimes it’s scary to love a man 😔this is so sad thank you ses for sharing
Thank you for watching.
The world we're living in is very scary 😭
Yoh!! Kanti loving a man CAN be this dangerous😲😭
Ankere dey will be like I do everything for you so I own you
Lobola, once a man pays lobola it is over
Man, am shook. The things we go through
@@hlengiwemasondo2858 Once he marries you. Lobola or none
She Is so strong. She didn't even shed a tear when talking about her mother's murder
This story just healed me. I have been suffering from severe heartache. I walked from an abusive person whom i love with all of my heart but the abuse was escalating and a part of me honestly felt it was mental condition and I was going to die
Yoooooo I'm so sorry you have to go through so much pain and suffering. Narcissists we living with them and are for real. My father is one but I'm grateful he is not killing anyone or I don't know. The trauma he has caused in my family and he still causing it but I chose to cut him out of my life. These type of human being don't rest if no one is feeling pain. Narcissist first target you, especially women who are loving and they break you. Plus she was a good target because she is a beautiful woman when he is with her other men evy him. He loves it, anything that boost his ego. She right when he said he made them sleep in his car oh my God that's was it. You were protected by your own ancestors and God. He near killed you.
You are absolutely correct Sizakele, they are around us and sometimes the only solution is to completely cut them off. I have heard so many psychiatrists say that they can't be fixed.
@@nolusizodlalisa5573 they can't be helped as they don't think they need help while people around them are suffering so I cut them out of my life. I realized even women has these issues, they enjoy seeing other people suffer.
Our men in SA need to shift focus to loving and protecting our women and kids
m.ua-cam.com/video/SRueeln3WDA/v-deo.html
@@MrSadikiboy I asked myself what happened to my father to be so cruel and abusive. I realized it's started on his parents, what I learned narcissist are made by parents. When you are parents you still worry about life you don't even pay attention to your kids, the only time you pay attention it's where things doesn't go your way. You punish the child through cooperate punishment and even beat that child which is a form of abuse. You creating a monster as your can't come to when life is horrible. He has go to work and take of the family when he was 15 yrs old. 15 yrs old is a child, he has multiple times how abusive his father and mother so the problem lied in there. Now does we deserve the treatment he did to us NO, I feel terrible for my mother who has to endour the every single day abuse including us. What need to be done moving forward, both parents need to commit to be in a child's life not through monetary form but through your presence. In a day playing with your child for an hour it's makes a difference to eliminate having to create these monster of people. If you have come across narcissist it's physical, emotional abuse but it's everything you got because all the chaos they live they inflict that pain to you. I think SA men need to present to their children's life from the beginning to the end and if you not ready to have a child don't. Being present means doesn't mean financial only, each day spend play time with your child listen to the child. They are whole human being, they have mind and views. I don't have kids but I spent so much time with my neighbors, I realized if we can live a hour to connect and love you will have loving men in the world and women. Not only men are narcissist even women.
She is very well spoken
Yoh😭😭
He hired hit men to murder her mother.
She had to live in hiding for 4 years😭😭😭😭😭
I can't even imagine doing that for so long 💔
Intense 💔
I hope in part 2 she gets to tell us about his arrest
When is part 2, I can't wait
Wow this sounds like a movie. What an episode. Please turn this experience into a movie
If a person shows you who they are believe the first time
Normal people always being everyone is good, big mistake
Yes you see it and then woman around you ask you where you are going to find a perfect one. Women are usually the enforcers of women abuse by men. If you run they will convince you to go back when he apologises.
You just have to really know who you are and by your principles even if it means you are alone. Period.
Or they will keep showing you who they are until you believe them
The police system in South Africa is very weak. Omg! 💔
It's better, Namibia is worse
Lucky 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I met her during my modelling days, such a beautiful lady inside out❤️
My therapist did a boundaries session with me two weeks ago and I realised I had none luckily I don't interact with men a lot soo it hasn't gotten this bad.... But we all need boundaries
He's a psychopath that guy he didn't love her, he was just enjoys inflicting pain on people.....
Its true that you really do not know what a person has been through because I never would have thought that someone i know would got through such. I am glad she has moved on from the experience and may God bless her because she is such a beautiful soul. Love you Lucky.
Wow so much going through my mind right now, big ups to the strong lady for even being able to tell her story so detailed. Honestly we have a lazy and failing justice system in place and it’s pretty much sad that one has to go through so much before the law can protect them and that protection order it’s not even a guarantee that you won’t be killed at the end. It’s true when they say a partner can be a blessing or a curse to you and more than anything else we look for certain things when looking for partners and ignore one’s mental health. It’s scary.
Narcissistic people are extremely manipulative, they manipulate everyone.
Boundaries should always be there at all times...
We can be deeply in love but ikaka yona andizuyimela and that's on PERIODT chile.
I'm the type of chick that would literally takeout my life savings (if I had to)to repay ilobola so that umntu ahlukane nomphefumulo wam. If someone is gonna hold that over my head.
Me and you both. And I always say we are the types of women who get killed, beause we object when we sense an element of disrespect or control.
I admire your much needed level of self worth and self respect. I really appreciate how you are not willing to sacrifice your peace and well being, while trying to neutralise situations that are crafted by manipulators to keep their significant others contained and subservient. I so wish many more women prioritized themselves in such a manner because yohhh life is nothing but precarious out here. Much love to you❤ and please keep on putting yourself first.
I'm broken he hired hitman to kill her mother first red flag run with your life....I always observe and analyse behaviour of the person I'm in relationship with
Very well spoken. She described it very well... the abuse. The narcissism.
It's the chilee for me😅
My narcisists always wanted to hold hands in public and if I didn't he would say I'm flirting with other men. He was so full of himself, that he would like and say people stop him for his autograph, because they thought he was George Cloony, lol!! This taught me to listen to my gut feel, because you get those signs from day one.
Relebogile, you are an amazing woman and your shows are always so interesting, very eye openers.❤️🔥
This is crazy. May your mom's soul rest in peace and may you receive healing ❤️
❤️
I know Lucky from PMB. Very sad to hear she went through so much trauma.
The 2 people who disliked this video are disliking the guy Lucky is talking about.
I went to school with her. I am so shocked.
It's probably the hitmen😩😕
Me too, same highschool. Always knew she was going to be something big! Such a beautiful, bold personality. Of all the women I know and have known so few HAVE NOT experienced abuse... God help South African women
,Narcissists would beat you up and bring you flowers n perfume. It's a pity that our girls never get it. There is nothing worse than not knowing your worth. Such a beautiful woman !
I’m sending her love ❤️ &light😇 she sounds so adorable when she says “akere”
New season .... love it already🙌
Is she talking about the KZN guy that also killed the white girl from DBN North? A true monster!
Who is he? Do u have a name,?
A huge chunk of this is so painfully relatable. I am inspired by how you overcame.. Have learnt a lot too.
Our men in SA need to shift focus to loving and protecting our women and kids
m.ua-cam.com/video/SRueeln3WDA/v-deo.html
Thank you for uploading this, please load part 2 please.
The funny thing is we as most women have a familiar story in her story. For sure 50 percent of her story sounds familiar. The things we go through.
I think it's way more than 50%
The things you put yourself in. When you find men who a genuinely for you you claim that their too soft when you face such, you want us to feel sorry for you.che
@@lehlohonolomakhetha9357 and so is life. We keep it moving.
@@bongim9141 you know, take care of yourself, you are blessed to be an empath in this weird world.
@@lehlohonolomakhetha9357 I will do best same goes out to you.
These kind of stories make me so scared to ever fall in love especially thinking about the well-being and safety of my kids.
Am currently going thru this. Omg i was confused bcos we had so much in common. He would even respond to questions exactly how i will respond it was like am dating my twin i couldn't blive i found a compatible partner. Yoh to good to be true. He dumbed me bcos i ask 1000 questions i always want to understand situations, out of the blue he changed just like that
Yooooooh😢😢😢😢😢😢
Thank Goodness this lady is still alive. Love and light to her❤️
Hearing others talk about this helps me so much. I went through something so similar. This is wild. Not only did they attack me mentally, physically, emotionally, but they got me financially. Often I feel so stupid! Then I feel meh to ok. Then angry. I’m doing my best to work through it. I broke it off 09/12/2021. They tend to control and quiet their victims. They are selfish. They are cheaters. They make you feel crazy! They also have flying monkeys who help them. Smh… I just hope they hurt no one else! Thank you so much for opening up about your experience.
I went through that
You always get red flags, its your choice to take note or ignore. To date i still speak of an incident when my then suitor almost beat me up 3 days after being discharged from hospital. He had such a tight grip on my arms and asked in a whisper in my ear why didnt i want to marry him. The grip tightened as i battled to answer because i was trying to loosen his grip around me and obviously had no strength. Dude called me stupid for not saying yes to him. 🚮 Only gathered the courage to tell my aunt a few months later. Women really are alone.
O Bua nnete, I have been through something similar but I was 18 and inexperienced. After that I would never tolerate such nonsense, I also believe that money talks and whispers in the wars of many women.
Yoh shame man. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Lenna someone tried to twist my arm because I didn't want to date him,yohh the feelings of entitlement to women's bodies,love and care is literally astounding and scary!
I really missed this. Lemme watch #lets unpack 💕
We also need to learn looking beyond the money and fancy lifestyles
SAD 💔burned car, eventually your mother's life taken. My condolences and thank you for sharing. May the good Lord bless you, thank you for the courage to warn others, took out for such behaviors...SHALOM 🛐
This person (Philani Ntuli) is also responsible for the murder of Siam Lee. If they had done something about Lucky's allegations, Siam would still be alive.
Oh my word. I just Google Siam Lee. Insane.🤯
Is that the same person? 😵Lucky could have had the same fate as Siam. Or on a less gruesome note, Siam could have been saved if something had been done about this philani guy.
Oh my word. I followed Siam Lee's gruesome death. Same guy???!! A real psychopath.
😳😳😳😳😳Insane…
She was so beautiful😭
You are the best of best kelebogile, thank you for eye opening topics👌👌👏👏👏
I love how she adds Zulu❤❤
That's the only thing you took from this interview?
She does not ADD Zulu, she's Zulu.
My word..take away the physical abuse..this is like listenin to myself speak!! I was engaged to a man who exhibited all of these traits and then some.
Awestruck!! How i love to see a queen rise up like a phoenix after a setback
Yoh, I feel like this is a dream or I’m watching a movie 😭😭
My heart is so shattered for the death of your mother. I wonder how your family coped after that whether they blamed her for the mothers death or maybe she blamed herself. How did you even move on from that. I am certain that even if after you have healed things will never be the same again. I am okay😪, may her rest in peace. Praying for all women in toxic relationships, may God protect them and give them boldness to leave those relationships alive. I pray for healing to the survivors of domestic violence and I pray that they may get that justice that they deserve. Lastly may God heal and deliver the men of SA. We need these men to okay and play their God given role in society. Pray for that boy child, present him to God daily.
South Africa ASIKHULEKENI 💔💔💔
PRAY THAT GOD HEALS OUR LAND.
Pray for the Government our leaders and justice system.
Love and light.
His kingdom come and his will be done on earth as it is in heaven✨✨✨
Watching from #Taung near Ramotswa Botswana 🇧🇼 Africa 😍