The Thrilling Adventures of Florida Man
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- Опубліковано 27 січ 2021
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Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel
You get a free month-long trial, exclusive for our viewers, and if you end up loving it, come back and get a gift card for your friends and family to enjoy it - the link is on our page at try.magellantv.com/businessblaze. MagellanTV is a new kind of streaming service run by filmmakers with 3,000 documentaries! Check out our personal recommendation and MagellanTV’s exclusive playlists: www.magellantv.com/explore/history and www.magellantv.com/genres/science-and-tech
Maybe the secret to living forever is creating loads and loads of UA-cam channels. I mean come on, I heard there's a new one today?!?
I agree with you on death & such, Simon. I would like to live hundreds of years just to see how the world will change. Also - you're right. You can always meet new people. You would also have kids to follow and keep an eye on your descendants.
Get a cocker spaniel and name it King Charles
Oi, Simon, check you out some Gloria! I usually hate pop music, but she's awesome!
ua-cam.com/video/inHwBUo9Pzk/v-deo.html
Granted its a remix.
7:27 Possibly the most out-of-touch Simon ever. (Yes, I know this was likely recorded a while ago.)
Simon seems exactly like the the stereotypical grumpy husband who doesn't want a dog but then devotes his entire life to pleasing his new dog two years later
That was me.
Same... 😍🐶
I skip the grumpy bit and just deal with the pets lol
my ex wife wanted cats. I did not. we compromised and got two cats. a few years later she left. I said you're not taking my fucking cats.
@@philipgallagher69420 just wondering before would you say you was a dog person? I seen someone like you who liked dogs but of course partner was involved so got cats too :)
Simon’s “I’ve heard a lot about game stop” aged VERY well.
Looking forward to the business blaze of the gamestop fiasco
Hold the line
@@kootmcgoot8677 probably better on mega projects
Ride it to the moon!
@@kootmcgoot8677 That would be about business tho. :P
Simon: "There must be something funny in the water."
Yeah, meth... and gators... and meth gators...
LMMFAO _now_ I'm afraid of Florida. Lots of new things to fear this week: Florida & banyan trees.
@@St.Linguini_of_Pesto I could be wrong but I think they've got Manchineel trees down there too, you know, that tree that constantly oozes super caustic chemicals.
And Natty lite. Don't forget the Natty lite.
No fact checking required here..
I'm pretty sure there was even a petition to rebrand the Dolphins as the Miami Methgators.
I'm not sure what ever happened to that.
Don’t forget gator meth
I think I come for the moments where Simon cannot stay on topic for two minutes. He just goes wandering down the garden path and we all follow like little ducklings. Danny does it too.
More and more, I think Danny and Sam have actually trapped Simon in the basement, which he admits is where his office is, and force him to read increasingly absurd scripts.
Allegedly.
As i understand it it's actually only half a level down from ground level...is that still a basement in english?
Not a souterrain? I don't know anything about any of this
@@YeeSoest It can be. It usually depends on how the room is used, but also can just be a matter of preference. I personally would probably call the room Simon is in a basement as the windows seem to only be close to the ceiling.
@@YeeSoest It is called a daylight basement. A full daylight basement has one wall that is mostly, if not all, made of glass. 🖖
How did you find out? No one was supposed to know...🤫🤫😳😮
Simon: "Is GameStop still a thing?"
Me: "Dude, you have no idea..."
Well it wasn't till about 50 hours ago
Hahahaha, indeed.
@@brainblaze6526 What is a DOGE? #memesthatmademoney
Oh and how
A gamestop blaze would be wonderful
"Make new friends it is not that hard"
I feel personally attacked.
Simon: “can you imagine wearing a balaclava around town?!”
Me in Canada where it is regularly-20 or colder in the winter: sad maple syrup noises
Canadian goes to Israel and forgets to remove balaclava ........(anticipating Jaws like music) RUN! (Epic heavy music)
_"...sad maple syrup noises..?"_
.... what's _that_ like?!?
People from the North of Ireland: *Amateurs*
Maple syrup on Simon's channels will forevermore remind me of the Big Maple Syrup Heist (On Casual Criminalist)
"Sad maple syrup noises"... LMFAOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
[All of Simon's friends die in a plane crash and he is the only survivor.]
Simon, "This sucks. I now have to make new friends."
All of Simon's friends are going to Starbucks then to see a new Marvel Movie.
Simon: I'll take a Vente espresso and new friends.
Danny's in the basement guys..
@@goshdarnitman they specifically said ‘friends’ not ‘(wage)slaves’
Lol Simon would just grab his magic spoon and survive. He's Alive!
More like now I have to make my own videos 🤗
Simon: "I don't have any friends that are criminals"
Simons Cocaine dealer: "We're not friends?" :,(
This is the only comment that didn't get a like from Simon, I think you struck a nerve!
Burn
*Allegedly*
We have a work relationship. It's fine... really it's fine...
@@m4taylor780 sorry bro....
That’s so nice that Simon let’s Danny have a dog in the basement! So nice that he won’t be lonely
This was one of the few of Simon's channels I didnt watch because I thought it was about business. Oh how I was wrong 😂
the mistake they make is thinking its a blaze about business, but its actually a business blaze, you are blazing at a professional level.
Blaze on Simon
yeah i was just thinking about that the other day: Their business is blazing. And business is good.
This is brilliant.
Your a Professional Blazer. Its the business the internet deserves.
Busy-ness blazay
I’m certainly blazing at a professional level whilst watching 🤣
"Oh my God, a drug I've never heard of" - guy who is totally not a drug dealer
Flakka is insane
The guy who spend a part of the video explaining how to smuggle drugs 😂
Allegedly
I thought it was like a SA thing. I didn't know (but really probably *should have*) it was a thing in the states.
Yo how do you think he keeps his employees convinced the basement is the best option. He slowly pushes them into addiction to satisfy his NEED for new videos. At that point his employees are handing him his money back, buying at the proverbial company store. Continuing a cycle of of addiction and dominance to feed Simons ever growing need for power. Biographic on Danny it this will propitiate to other channels.
Just going to point out: Florida has a law against feeding an alligator more than 5 ounces of meth. Not a law against feeding it meth at all, just more than 5 ounces.
Florida has a law against feeding the alligators anything at all
Can you provide some receipts? Looked it up and it appears you shouldn't feed them anything.
Yeah this seems to be fake news
But it's believable
Indeed, Simon, the Florida Man headlines are true……and those are just the crazy things said on record…imagine what was said when it wasn’t…
Right! Florida is a whacked place👹
"No one talks about Gamestop" - Simon, the hedgefunders on Wall Street would like a word with you.
LMAO!!!
Magellan: Its like the History Channel before all the shows about aliens.
that would be a solid marketing line. I might use that :D
There's also several very good historical channels here on UA-cam such as Military History Visualized, Military Aviation History, Drachinifel (warning: do not partake in beverages while viewing as the presenter has the driest British wit I've ever experienced) , Greg's Airplanes and Automobiles, Modern History TV (run by the CEO of Rebellion Software), and countless others.
So four hour blocks of [a certain painter from Vienna] programming
I grew up in Florida, and can verify that people actually behave like this as if it's normal....
“Pizza doesn’t count as fast food.” Names Pizza Hut as a fast food restaurant.
As soon as I heard GameStop, I hit the comment section. Well timed, sir.
💎💎🙌🙌
AMC and NOK are next
Samesies
Same, he goes "what is Gamestop" and I'm like oh boi
(Sings the Tendieman sea shanty).
Also, were at 68 likes. Someone finish it up!
Simon's gonna be that dad that says he doesn't want a dog until he gets one and he loves it more than his kids.
Totally
I don’t know.🤔. I think a dog and it’s hair and dirt might be too much for Simon. It’s just a feeling I have.
The Dog will be named Simon the Second.
@@mangot589 Second that. Getting a pet if you are not sure you will like it is a really bad idea.
Yeah, I can't picture him thinking of a pet as anything more than a nuisance
"Assault with a deadly weapon"
Im surprised assualt with a alligator isnt a thing in Florida
It is. Look up Florida Man throws alligator through a drive-thru window at an employee. 😥🤦♀️
@@1TrueGem it was at an Arby's I believe.
@@1TrueGem I already knew that would be the answer, and yet I'm still disappointed in humanity.
I’m pretty sure at this point that they shoot Business Blaze at the end of a very long day, when Simon’s brain is completely fried.
Either that, or at the very beginning so he can let out all his energy and then compose himself for the more "serious" channel's recordings.
Everyone asks for a Biographics on Danny.
I want one for Sam.
Both. Both is good.
Sam's like a co-host on the Simon whistler podcast, funny guy.
April is coming up
I'd like to start with how does one become a memologist and a lost of channels he is the resident memologist for. I keep seeing his name on Simon's channels. Smart to use the guy who's working for leftover food
@@naseerahvj are you suggesting a cruel April fools where the BB video title says Danny's and Sam's biography and than its really something else?
Sam definitely needs a raise. He went out of his way to explain why physical disks will always be superior
"I don't care what you think." This is one of the reasons I always click on your channels. Calling a prison a "double-gated community" is another reason.
This is Simon letting his hair down and venting all those frustrations after doing 8 or so serious shows on history, death and social change. 100% behind this sweet sweet release!
"I hear a lot about GameStop" lol that was a lot more timely than anticipated at recording
I can’t wait until Simon one day covers The Most Expensive Shitpost ever, because this whole GameStop Stock thing is hilarious to watch
Very on point for sure :D
His lack of knowledge of Gamestop show this was filmed at least a week ago.
I like the stock
150 target puts bought yesterday 🤑🤑🤑
Technically all headlines involving Trump now can start with "Florida Man".
I thought that immediately when I heard. So true!!! He was always Florida Man!!! 😷😎😷
Florida very much wishes this comment wasn't true.
Damn, can’t Florida ever catch a break?!
@@briangarrow448 let me honest with you, Mr. Garrow:
NOPE. Florida is the one hanging around, looking like a limp dong.
He is NOT one of us.
Simon: Imagine wearing a balaclava around town. Canadians:???
I will never get bored of Floridaman content 😂😂😂
I adopted cats called Charles and Oscar. Standing on the back doorstep at night yelling out "Charles! Put down that bird and come in for dinner!" is far too entertaining
But if he has a bird he already has dinner
Bill is a black cat and I was telling him to come in bc it was dark. My husband told me to stop yelling out the door that it was dark and I couldn't see his black ass. Oops 😬
GameStop reference is proof of future Simons existence
My favorite part is when Simon says "because dogs are literally lower than people." Then looks up to rant about a dog about to pee.
"I feel like a 4k TV now is just a TV" - That hit me right in the third world...
Same. I don't even know what that is
lol either way nobody can use it because almost nothing is in 4k
"Can you imagine just wearing a balaclava around town..."
Thankyou for making daily life in Saskatchewan just a little more awkward than it already is.
2018: *wears balaclava* *goes into convenience store* "SIR!! SIR!!! YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT OFF RIGHT NOW SIR!!!!"
2020: *carries balaclava *walks into convenience store* "SIR!! SIR!!! YOU NEED TO PUT THAT BALACLAVA ON RIGHT NOW SIR!!!!"
I am laughing my ass off rn (some1 really should come up w/ an easier way to type that phrase, bc it is used so very often, by many people... how many, you ask.. oh, I'll guesstimate around 50 to 100) when SW starts talking about balaclavas.. nm that part of the videos topic is _Florida_ where I imagine balaclavas aren't a typical item worn in that part of the world.
Yeah the police killed a young black man in Colorado for wearing one last year on his walk home. If a balaclava is a ski mask?
"Oh a drug I've never heard of" - says a surprised simon
Simon, do a video about flakay. It’s an awful super addictive drug.
Come to Canada, you will see a lot of people "Just wearing a balaclava around" in the winter, and you may wear one as well if you plan on being outside for very long in -45c
Simon: I don't like dogs
The entire internet: And I took that personally
Throwing alligators through windows "probably is a crime" This is the deep legal analysis we have come to expect from businessblaze :D
"GameStop is something I hear a lot about for some reason..." Simon says just before shit happens that means he will HAVE to make a Business Blaze about GameStop soon
Simon's biggest prank ever: Convincing us that Danny is a real person and not just a figment of his multiple personality disorder
Danny is real, it's Simon who is the figment of Danny's imagination, luckily Danny was able to create a helmet that turns his imagined vision of Simon reading his scripts into a UA-cam broadcast. This is why Simon is always shouting at Danny.
More Florida Mans please.
I, for one - would like to hear more about the Florida Man who died after attempting to microwave a microwave oven...
I love watching Simon relieve stress from all his more dignified content, and come unglued phonetically lol...
Huge difference how animated he is..
Always entertaining if nothing else . Thanks Simon, and Danny.
And Sam!
"the dog can stay downstairs, that's fine" said everyone who shares a room with their dog ever
"You just have to be firm with them."
@@geekdivaherself yeah, eventually they'll get used to the dog sleeping on the bed.
Laughs with a pack of dogs in my room
The parents dogs were trained to only stay down stairs, but the trick was how their how was step up.
The entire ground floor was tiled, the stairs and upper floor was carpeted, so they were taught to only walk on tiles when indoors, kept them of the furniture too
If Simon ever runs out of personal anecdotes these videos will be seven minutes long
When I lived in Florida, my gas station had a mugshot digest for the week with criminal records in it. It's basically just a magazine of really unfortunate mugshots and what the person was arrested for. If that aint a reason to not get arrested, I don't know what is.
“TopTenz sues Business Blaze for plagiarism”
Florida man sues himself, says "that plagiarising b*stard is allways stealing *MY* ideas"
SMASH that dislike button
Legal case goes on for years and is used on a megaprojects
thats how I launder all my drug money.
David Letterman sues TopTenz for plagiarism
Bleeping out Simon's cussing but leaving Samuel L Jackson's rant intact. Lol
classic BB
Consistently inconsistent
I've listened to over a thousand videos waiting for this to autoplay. Sure, I could have searched for it, but that's like eating the strawberry first. Eat the cake, you absolute heathen, then enjoy the sweet treat!
Excellent work, guys! You've made this cold (on my day off no less! 🙄) actually bearable.
4:30 - Chapter 1 - Florida man stabs tourists... despite having no arm
6:50 - Chapter 2 - Florida man tries to rob gamestop...while wearing a transparent plastic bag
9:40 - Chapter 3 - Florida man breaks into prison...to spend time with his friends
14:10 - Mid roll ads
16:15 - Chapter 4 - Florida man accuses dog...to shoot his girlfriend
22:40 - Chapter 5 - Florida man pays his food...with an alligator
25:50 - Chapter 6 - Florida man files for bankruptcy 5 fives...calls himself a genius
27:45 - Chapter 6.1 -Bonus Florida men
Someone needs to use the lockdown effectively, cut together all of Danny's personal stories, order them and create a Frankenstein's biography!
Sam is right about game discs. Also, give him a raise Simon.
No not really, most of the games must be activated on and bound to a origin/steam/blizzard account etc so it cant be sold or lend anymore, sadly :(
@@vloxxity and why Epic games is better because freebies.
@@vloxxity computer games maybe, but console games are just physical discs that can be played anywhere there's a console. I think that's where he's going with that.
We have the “Busted” paper. It’s literally a periodical dedicated to recent arrests in our county. Also, a favorite read the the emergency department staff.
Until reading this I kind of assumed that was a southeast TN thing. I wouldn't be surprised if we hail from the same area tbh because I've never seen anything like the Busted paper in my travels across the country.
'Florida Man' would be a great sidekick to Bananaman, just with an orange instead of a banana.
The 1st time I saw literally "A Florida Man" as a news headline was in reference to a man, outside, literally eating another man's face.
Ah, yes.. the bath salts incident.
Same
A fun game to play is type in Florida man on Google with the day and month of your birthday and whomever gets the craziest result wins. Its actually crazy how mad Florida is when you go digging. 😂
See, shit like that 100% happens in Ohio, but you never hear about it unless you have a buddy in law enforcement.
WavyWebSurf did a video about it
"Gamestop is something i hear a lot about"... *Reddit, cracks knuckles. Lets get to work
Being friends with Simon must be interesting you're sitting there dying and the last thing he says to you is like damn man I got to make new friends lmao
You should collab with the guy from Today I found out. I would love to watch that
My daughter’s first “people food” was KFC’s mashed potatoes. I couldn’t feed her fast enough. 👶🏻
My sister had a dog with a human name. She received mail because she was a registered Republican. They could tell a call was a telemarketer when they asked to speak to the dog. 🐶
Lauren brilliant!
Brilliant!
@Lauren so what did the dog tell them?
@@St.Linguini_of_Pesto Probably that things were rrrRUFF!
I wonder how the neighbors feel about Simon screaming at Danny every day.
Simon: Can you imagine wearing a balaclava around town? Cue the Canadian laughter muffled by the wool of our face cozies. 🇨🇦
"Its not that people in Florida is more crazy"
How dare you disturb my believes with your rational discourse?
I have lived in Florida briefly, the is something VERY 'different' about Floridians.
*talks about GameStop, still doesn't cover the latest business news* - classic business blaze
Simon being completely honest "I'm British, I don't care"
"What are these 'feelings' you keep referring to? I do say, they seem dreadfully inconvenient."
Simon, Trevor is a genius. And yes he said ALL of those things & meant them that way.
I walk my dog at midnight all the time.. so at least there is one weird person out there that does it.
I saw the title of this one & thought, "this isn't related to business....but Simon is probably gonna mention that."
You delivered, sir.
"It even works on his twitter account"
Weeeeeeellllllllll about that :)
😆😆😆😆😆
The rest of us say, “ski mask”, Simon.
If by "US" you mean "United States", then yes. 😁
I live in Florida. That law you mentioned is real, but as someone who lives here, I can also say that there’s just a lot of crazy people. I think it’s the sweltering heat and unforgiving humidity we have almost all year.
Um...ok, I know the man they’re talking about in the first story-I see him every day. I once asked if I could buy him groceries, and he started aggressively swearing at me. And the pictures he makes are legitimately terrifying.
Breaking into jail sounds like a "my name is Earl" episode.
lmao, I called my cat Stanley. I love giving animals old people names
I feel like I've been called out. Yes, I am guilty of asking for a Biographic on Danny Salter; The Man, the Legend who has write many comical scripts. The man who owned a business responsible for many children being conceived in Yorkshire. The man who had many secretive, possibly government funded trips abroad. The Man who loves Donor Kebab's, Pot noodles and the Pub. Has a passionate hatred for communism and the man that moved from his picturesque home in Cornwall to basement imprisonment in Prague.
Today We Explore the life, loves, ambitions, businesses and down fall of Simon's greatest ever script writer Danny Salter.
From Wikipedia, the most reliable academic source:
"A CNN article on the meme also suggested that the breadth of reports of bizarre activities is due to a confluence of factors, including public records laws giving journalists fast and easy access to police reports, the relatively high and diverse population of the state, its highly variable weather, and a lack of mental health funding."
"And a lack of mental health funding"
I don't know what state does have high mental health funding, but it ain't New York and it ain't California.
@@Delightfully_Bitchy Or Oregon, the one I live in.
“When you die it’s an eternal void of nothingness”
So..not that different from how it is now?
lol very good
Worst thing I've heard about the eternal void of nothingness is that there are no Simon videos there.
Jokes on you. When you die you see YOU HAVE DIED then you respawn where you last saved. Flatlined myself. The bonfire I saved at was when I was 20... I was 31... So much lost progress. 😥
Absolutely loved the edit @ 7:56/7:57
thank you so much for your extra work and the solid comedic timing !
This video is basically Simon off the leash. I love it! Make more of these!
12:00 Simon; you have a double-digit Charisma stat. For most of us peons, it's not _that_ easy to just wave a hand and make friends.
"It's not that Florida people are more crazy..."
Yes they are. Your logic is valid, but Florida people are still more crazy.
Take a map of Florida and throw a dart at it. Then go spend a week or two where it lands and compare it to the background craziness of anywhere else you've been. Once this dare has been completed, please make a video letting us know how it went.
Bonus fact: Many Floridians carry a gene that renders them unable to understand why people make fun of Florida. These people are extra hilarious. (I'm related to a few.)
I am too. They are blissfully delusional
I love how the beginning is basically a rant
My dog is named Lollipop. The kids named her. It comes as a bit of surprise to people when I call the 68 pound German Shepherd/Doberman mix puppy with a very deep bark "Lollipop".
My 80 lb chocolate lab was named "Tinkerbell". While all the little dogs are named "killer" or something.
Current dog is named Emily
Imagine how many government watch lists Danny's search results created 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gamestop a.k.a. How to Bankrupt a Hedge Fund: a future video.
you forgot "President Florida Man suggests injecting bleach to treat Covid infections " . . .
Back to running through old videos that I loved. Party on blaze boy.
I want to liberate the world with Florida Man. His gator army is unstoppable
I know a Nigerian that is 6 9 and speaks 12 lenguages.. that who I ain't fucking with, my dad's florida man I know
Dude has talked about dog genocide enough times to be suspicious
Yeah, how many times do dogs commit or even talk about genocide against humans? No, they serve in all kinds of jobs from law enforcement to healthcare and finding missing people in disasters and Simon would rather kill them all to save one potentially horrible person.
Simon
@@justinmartin4662 dogs taste OK. They serve that purpose too. Puppies are Chinese Veal . mmmmmm👍🤓
Cats have been funding SimonsTube channels for a while, so it isn't shocking.
I've got two reliable sources: Marmalade & Odin.
@@terryarmbruster7986 you are so bad.. but in an oddly good way.
Just downloaded this.
Can't wait to watch it!!
Sam is fantastic! He deserves a raise! So does Danny!
I'm getting blazed listening to a blaze about a guy who blazes..... Wut 😅😂 Love the videos Simon (And team)! ❤️
Same
Wake n bake.....or anytime really!
Yep yep
How you gonna disrespect Sam and Danny as “team”
Proud member
HOLY FUCK! The first ever bada bom bom rejection. Brings a tear to my eye lol.
And it was not THAT bad of a joke!
Someday you'll tell your grandkids where you were when that moment happened, like the Kennedy assassination or 9/11.
I couldn’t believe my ears...
MAKE A NOTE HISTORY
The Meme Accountant should not have quit so soon.
Also on the topic of buying game discs, the developers can take the game down at any time and sometimes that means your digital copy no longer works
Love your Florida man series! Watching on repeat.
When Simon doesn't remember the Wendy's alligator story and is just as surprised the second time... Awesome!
Speaking of the second time, didn't the kid do it again a few years later? I swear I read about it, but the fact that it wasn't mentioned has me questioning it because there's no way Danny and Simon would let that go unremarked.
Happens often & it cracks me up each time -- but he makes soo many different videos that it makes sense to forget things
I KNEW I HAD HEARD OF THIS BEFORE.
The Mann Shorts "Florida editions" start with a disclaimer that basically says "Don't blame us, these all actually happened", and they are amazing!
"... the dog can stay in the downstairs area..." So it's just a well disguised plan to up the security levels for your basement aka "the downstairs area", so you can get a guard dog that makes sure Danny & Sam aren't getting anywhere anytime soon?
prob
I'm at the point of watching these videos to see how far off the rails Simon will take some of his tangents.🤣🤣🤣
Love these videos