The Best 5G Conspiracy Theories

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  • Опубліковано 29 січ 2021
  • Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring! The first 1000 people to use this link will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/businessblaze01211
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,2 тис.

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  3 роки тому +138

    Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring! The first 1000 people to use this link will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/businessblaze01211

    • @martinaherold465
      @martinaherold465 3 роки тому +2

      Hi

    • @theCidisIn
      @theCidisIn 3 роки тому +4

      Yyeeeessssss I hate it when people use, "Well, you can live in the dark if you want." As a winning line. I'm gonna use that line while arguing my anti conspiracy theories now.

    • @TTillahFK
      @TTillahFK 3 роки тому +2

      You should have mixed in some "COCAINE!"'s to throw the algorythm of the tinfoil-hat-sent

    • @rackneh
      @rackneh 3 роки тому +2

      Best terrorist attacks? Hellyeah bring it on

    • @TheHardys01
      @TheHardys01 3 роки тому +3

      Sooooo are our governments and tech companies just good now?
      Like we can just trust em if they say somethings safe??
      Because I've seen some of Simon's other videos.... And yeahhh......
      They're not so trustworthy.

  • @covle9180
    @covle9180 3 роки тому +503

    "if you're dumb, and you need some skills..."
    Honestly, how anybody is still sponsoring you is beyond me. Don't ever change.

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 роки тому +168

      Nearly every video is sponsored these days and it blows my mind.

    • @stephenpmurphy591
      @stephenpmurphy591 3 роки тому +11

      @@brainblaze6526 Good censorship can dampen a good day.
      Apparently...........Oh sshhhhhhhh....conspiracy theories are not conspiracies my marijuana farmer neighbor told me so.( no lie)
      We're just standard organic farmers in Humboldt county which is coastal Northern California.
      Redwood trees, ferns, fog many many foggy days.....and California's number one cash crop Marijuana..yup( now it's kinda of sorta legal)

    • @extrastuff9463
      @extrastuff9463 3 роки тому +9

      I suspect they either realised it fits with the style of the channel, they looked at the numbers and concluded enough people interact with the URL... or alternatively whatever PR company they outsource it to doesn't care about results and optics (likely one of the first two scenarios).

    • @covle9180
      @covle9180 3 роки тому +21

      @@extrastuff9463 tbf Business Blaze is one of the very very few channels where I don't instantly skip the sponsored message. So he's got that going for him.
      (the other is ElectroBoom)

    • @jamesmerutka889
      @jamesmerutka889 3 роки тому +6

      @@brainblaze6526 And this must be why the Boi with the Blaze is making small appearances in the other channels?
      We want more! We demand it! We are the Legends, so you must give in!

  • @adamreddaway2005
    @adamreddaway2005 3 роки тому +504

    Simon: "This is a little bit of a tangent."
    Me: "That's why we come here Simon, Blaze on."

    • @TotallyNotRedneckYall
      @TotallyNotRedneckYall 3 роки тому +7

      🤘

    • @mummamu1970
      @mummamu1970 3 роки тому +3

      100%

    • @davidringle7
      @davidringle7 3 роки тому +1

      Exactly that's why we are here Simon

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 роки тому +38

      legend

    • @LJCyrus1
      @LJCyrus1 3 роки тому +15

      @@brainblaze6526 New channel idea for you Simon. "Tangential Relations", wherein you watch outtakes of yourself going on tangents and try to explain how you got there.

  • @jamesvivian2855
    @jamesvivian2855 3 роки тому +263

    George Carlin said it best “think of how stupid the average person is, then realise that 50% of people are dumber than that”

    • @extrastuff9463
      @extrastuff9463 3 роки тому +13

      While I like George Carlin I always had some issues with that particular line, but for a general audience referring to median instead of average would probably not get the same result.
      So while I could see a statistical scenario where more or less than 50% are dumber than the "average person" defined by whatever person is at (or close to) the average intelligence in the population... going with average in the joke was the right choice.

    • @rhynosouris710
      @rhynosouris710 3 роки тому +16

      @@extrastuff9463 don't overthink it

    • @ErebuBat
      @ErebuBat 3 роки тому +10

      @@extrastuff9463 Neeeerrrrrrdd!

    • @sirandrelefaedelinoge
      @sirandrelefaedelinoge 3 роки тому +1

      @@ErebuBat Randomly extending a word doesn't strengthen it.

    • @differentbutsimilar7893
      @differentbutsimilar7893 3 роки тому +3

      @@sirandrelefaedelinoge Pretty sure the 'strengthening' was something called humor. Low-level, but a pretty obvious joke, I thought. When is the last time anyone said that seriously? He's probably just saying that it's kind of a silly thing to read into. I say that as a self-identified nerd. It's pretty much an 80s/90s reference. Characters used to say it just like that in cartoons I saw growing up in the early 90s... and the joke was always on the one saying it in the end.
      What I'm saying is, it could've just been a friendly jab. No need to be that way about it. And this is coming from someone who personally knows nobody with more nerd energy than himself. Responses like this just make you look overly-concerned and insecure. None of this is really a big deal, anyway.
      It's just... people tend to respond a bit negatively to dissecting the frog. It's often considered bad taste, especially if it's a joke that lands well enough for most people to have a hearty laugh. If you're going to do that, basic social conventions dictate that you're going to have to put up with some jeering. It's not really personal, just one of those things that gets mildly frowned upon. Especially when the analysis given was already pretty obvious to anyone who cared about it. Everyone else laughed and moved on. People usually quote it in situations where large amounts of people inexplicably get something wrong, almost as sort of a cope for those times when you're looking around, just wondering what everyone is thinking as they march towards whatever asinine thing is wearing you down. It's more of a cynical remark on the general emotional fallibility of people today.
      But I mean... lets take it back to the top. Who says 'median' in a sentence like that? It really has nothing to do with intelligence and more to do with our shared vernacular. Accuracy simply isn't the priority when the point of your joke is "Lots of people are dumb, and lots more are dumber than them!" I mean... c'mon, how many jokes does he have about people abusing statistics. It's always a bit tounge-in-cheek. I thought that was part of the fun. He said 'average' because that's what people say. And he's probably been saying it that way all along, without thinking much about it. People clearly got the joke. And I'm betting most people understand that it is not literal truth... though a few fans get a little caught up in that.

  • @petehornsby5516
    @petehornsby5516 3 роки тому +76

    " arh, I can feel the cancer " that's the coke a cola sponsorship out the window. Might as well have another line allegedly

  • @J0NNNNN
    @J0NNNNN 3 роки тому +1057

    4 days of blaze in a row - Danny's working overtime in the basement

    • @tmontgomery9255
      @tmontgomery9255 3 роки тому +49

      Well he is stuck in a basement with nothing to do but put the lotion on its skin so might as well pump those scripts out.

    • @Albinoafroman316
      @Albinoafroman316 3 роки тому +40

      Danny is working hard due to Simon sharing his Coke

    • @stonedronin9555
      @stonedronin9555 3 роки тому +32

      One does not simply stop blazing

    • @DannySalter
      @DannySalter 3 роки тому +54

      I think we could consider expanding to five videos a day.
      I've worked out a new way of slowing down time with spoons.

    • @kronosomni2805
      @kronosomni2805 3 роки тому +14

      @@DannySalter Sponsored by Magic Spoon!

  • @lmpeters
    @lmpeters 3 роки тому +279

    Many years ago, there was a story on Slashdot about a remote town that got a brand-new (probably 2G) cell tower, and almost immediately the locals started to complain that the radiation from the cell tower was causing headaches and all sorts of other medical issues. During a subsequent investigation, it turned out that the cell tower hadn't yet been turned on.

    • @SovereignwindVODs
      @SovereignwindVODs 3 роки тому +66

      Placebo is a hell of a drug

    • @luxorien
      @luxorien 3 роки тому +15

      Nocebo.

    • @gamertoic1018
      @gamertoic1018 3 роки тому +1

      I think I saw that video. They had a pta school meeting and the Verizon spokesperson said something very odd about how his child died of radiation. The verizon spokesperson audio could have been tampered with or what not

    • @judgedeath7193
      @judgedeath7193 3 роки тому +3

      It doesn't actually matter, check out wind turbine syndrome! You've heard of the placebo effect? Well this is a kind of negative placebo effect!

    • @paulscottfilms
      @paulscottfilms 3 роки тому +2

      What do you think about the burned out homes you can see in Paradise CA. You know the homes that were burned out by Electromagnetic waves leaving the trees all around fine.

  • @KaitouKaiju
    @KaitouKaiju 3 роки тому +52

    The thing about x-rays, you are perfectly fine with the few a year you get. The person taking them are exposed every day. That's why they leave the room.

    • @trespire
      @trespire 2 роки тому +3

      @Dragonzaka And wear a lead lined apron, to protect the family jewels.

    • @leebee3845
      @leebee3845 2 роки тому

      They are not exposed to them BECAUSE they leave the room 🙄 If you have someone in the room wearing a lead apron whilst you are being x-rayed, then maybe you are living in some shitty second rate country that hasn't changed its technology since the 50s? Its the patient that wears the lead apron, to shield parts of their body that doesn't need an x-ray.

    • @trespire
      @trespire 2 роки тому +3

      @@leebee3845 My doctor told me he wears lead underpants on Tuesdays and Thursdays, to reduce his exposure.

    • @smeggerknee2448
      @smeggerknee2448 2 роки тому +2

      Ask any science(physics)teacher the radiation exposure levels experienced by those flying regularly at high altitudes.
      Bear in mind that on long haul flights,crossing the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans these would be 3 or 4 hours at least twice per day.

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis 2 роки тому +5

      I really like this comparisonI read in comments on a different video where that idea was mentioned. If you go to a bar and order a drink and offer the bartender to have something on your dime, he may do it - but after three people have done the same thing, the bartender is gonna start refusing, because it's gonna get bad for his health. Especially if it happens every day.

  • @Fadamor
    @Fadamor 3 роки тому +26

    I can relate to Danny's alarm at a former friend's descent into madness. Forty years after I had lost contact with a high school friend (let's call him "Bob"), we re-connected and I discovered he had decided to support an underground anti-government Florida militia by re-loading spent ammo and collecting weapons. Bob was a government conspiracy theorist BEFORE Trump took office (just in case people thought there were no crazies before Trump). I would not be at all surprised if Bob was present at the U.S. Capitol on January 6 - he was at that level of batshit crazy.

    • @mattiemathis9549
      @mattiemathis9549 Рік тому

      If you talked to him afterwards he would have told you that the people in the capital were Antifa dressed up as 3%’ers and true patriots were not involved…
      An unfortunately true tale I heard from my ultra conspiracy theorist/compulsive liar acquaintance.
      😂😂😂😂😂
      The scary thing is they truly believe it…🙀🙀🙀

  • @puellanivis
    @puellanivis 3 роки тому +208

    Simon: “This is a little bit of a tangent.”
    me: [ grabs the popcorn and sets down for a 10 minute diversion ]

  • @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un
    @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un 3 роки тому +430

    People: Is the channel about business?
    Business Blaze: Yesn’t

    • @phomo561
      @phomo561 3 роки тому +25

      And that's what makes it great my supreme leader 🙏

    • @oracleofdelphi4533
      @oracleofdelphi4533 3 роки тому +7

      Does Simon Whistler need shampoo?

    • @DoomLatveria
      @DoomLatveria 3 роки тому +2

      I have too many unanswered questions about if business blaze is or isn't about business, just like I do about many nations unnamed in my comment. (even my own. Have you seen this place?)

    • @WooShell
      @WooShell 3 роки тому +6

      @@oracleofdelphi4533 no, just polish.

    • @mandysebeck9629
      @mandysebeck9629 3 роки тому +4

      Oh that had me laughing 😂 !!!! Good one Dear Leader 😆

  • @earendilthemariner4307
    @earendilthemariner4307 3 роки тому +20

    Should do a video on QAnon and it's followers' idiotic theories. Funny as a drunk man trying to set up a 3 room tent!

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire 2 роки тому +1

      Just using the word QAnon is a good way to get a video demonitised.

  • @lellow19
    @lellow19 3 роки тому +83

    Simon: It's embarrassing being British at times!
    Me: *cries in American*

    • @Larken42
      @Larken42 2 роки тому

      See: Crying Wojack

    • @dannydetonator
      @dannydetonator 2 роки тому +2

      @West Park They're pretty similar, apart from bulgarians being poorer.. you from there?

  • @crypto66
    @crypto66 3 роки тому +71

    You actually got me with that prank freeze. Thought my shitty internet's fucking up again.

    • @jamespaxton6395
      @jamespaxton6395 3 роки тому +1

      Legit.

    • @renren4m802
      @renren4m802 3 роки тому +1

      I was like 'oh shit the internet #cancelled simon in real time!"

  • @MistressYoko
    @MistressYoko 3 роки тому +139

    I feel like he forgot about a bunch of sponsorships and now is marathoning them. (which is excellent for us)

    • @LRGDuran
      @LRGDuran 3 роки тому +17

      Its another cocaine fueled blazeathon.......Allegedly

    • @jordanwilliams9300
      @jordanwilliams9300 3 роки тому +8

      I approve of this 👍

    • @vampy7341
      @vampy7341 3 роки тому +3

      Agreed

  • @OverDriveOnline7921
    @OverDriveOnline7921 Рік тому +6

    One of my colleagues was convinced about the 5G chip in vaccines and cited the circuit diagram, of which I have a paper copy as I used to fix the guitar pedals. I didn’t mention this at the time, but used it as the basis for my emerging technologies delivery and recommended she sit in on the class.
    Each and every conspiracy point was debunked one by one along with a quick lesson on how antennas worked, before unveiling the actual paper circuit diagram, proudly displaying printed in 1982 (c) Boss music and Roland corporation in the bottom corner.
    She never raised stupid conspiracy theories with me again, but would ask about technologies and if they were feasible, to which the answer was usually no.
    I think I still have the initial draft of that presentation online somewhere, but the key point that made everyone laugh during the presentation was mentioning that you’d certainly notice if someone was trying to inject a guitar pedal into your arm along with associated antenna.
    Fun times😊

  • @MrsShocoTaco
    @MrsShocoTaco 3 роки тому +53

    1G "cool!"
    2G "awesome!"
    3G "fantastic!"
    4G "phenomenal!!"
    5G "OMG THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US!!!!!"

    • @CarlMcKenzie
      @CarlMcKenzie 3 роки тому +9

      Gen1 was a rich person toy for most of its life so regular folks didn't give a shit
      Gen2 brought out all the NIMBYs - some didn't like the look of towers & others were scared of them
      Gen3 a whole lot of the NIMBYs realised cellphones are actually useful & got pissed off they didn't have decent service (but never realised it was their own fault)
      Gen4 was the birth of the current crop of craziness, but they were mostly shot down before they gained any traction
      Gen5 saw the crazies taking advantage of near universal 4G coverage & smartphone ownership to amplify their message about 5G bad, but 4G is fine now... I never said 4G was harmful

    • @NightMotorcyclist
      @NightMotorcyclist 2 роки тому +3

      Nah, the same fearmongering came about during the 4G/ LTE rollout as well. In fact the groups peddling this BS have been doing this with each new rollout and are rehashing the same nonsense for 5G and mmWave technology and don't actually know a damn thing about it. They even mistake 5th Gen WiFi as 5G cellular and have gotten people to avoid the new WiFi tech and stick with N routers.

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire 2 роки тому +3

      @@CarlMcKenzie WTF is a "NIMBY" 🙄

    • @CarlMcKenzie
      @CarlMcKenzie 2 роки тому +1

      @@Stettafire Not In My Back Yard

    • @MrTripcore
      @MrTripcore 4 місяці тому

      Please get the 7G brain chip

  • @marvthebass
    @marvthebass 3 роки тому +38

    I can't wait for the BB video about how some people on reddit invested in GameStop and bankrupted an entire hedge fund company

    • @richardschaefer8605
      @richardschaefer8605 3 роки тому +6

      It will be legendary.

    • @leahfairs2392
      @leahfairs2392 3 роки тому +5

      Yes please, Blaze about GamesStop!

    • @victoriahunter4684
      @victoriahunter4684 3 роки тому +3

      This just happen! Make it so

    • @donaldwert7137
      @donaldwert7137 3 роки тому +2

      I just hope Simon adds the part where the hedge fund companies wring their hands and cry foul because someone used their own tactics against them and now the rich are demanding regulation to prevent the unwashed masses from beating them at their own game.

    • @lostbutfreesoul
      @lostbutfreesoul 3 роки тому +3

      @@donaldwert7137 ,
      The governmental response should also be included, there was some truly interesting bipartisanship there.

  • @XillyWonka
    @XillyWonka 3 роки тому +13

    Great bit of Wakefield: I read the paper and did an essay on it, and doing a bit more research will reveal he was only "against" the new MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) vaccine. It's interesting to note he was invested in a biotech company making the measles vaccine at the time

  • @TonyRule
    @TonyRule 3 роки тому +12

    I'm just impressed that they managed to shoehorn faster wireless Internet into their Death Ray rollout. Kudos.

  • @justsomeperson5110
    @justsomeperson5110 3 роки тому +73

    MY conspiracy theory about 5G is that the incredible vast majority of "5G" users will have a range, speed, and latency REMARKABLY similar to people with 4G, and that what you're actually buying is just hype. Because what most cell phone service providers and phone manufacturers are peddling as 5G is in reality just minor algorithmic improvements to the existing 4G technology with a lot of added hype and branding and NOT in any way the millimeter-wave 5G technology that it was supposed to be. Because if businesses had to wait for the actual new 5G standard's hardware to roll out then they wouldn't be able to bilk customers today.

    • @komokaziboschetti
      @komokaziboschetti 3 роки тому +8

      Nah, this will be demonstrably false within the most populous metros. Will probably be true in rural areas.

    • @tardvandecluntproductions1278
      @tardvandecluntproductions1278 3 роки тому +6

      Not much of a theory when that is openly said in the Netherlands. Government has not yet sold licenses to any of the new frequencies

    • @zachyoung5598
      @zachyoung5598 3 роки тому +3

      This guy gets it.

    • @bassett_green
      @bassett_green 3 роки тому +6

      In my city, the 5G download speed is 1.5 Gbps. Definitely a huge upgrade

    • @josephzark6232
      @josephzark6232 3 роки тому +7

      *Comcast would like to know your location*

  • @coachyoast02
    @coachyoast02 3 роки тому +161

    Business Blaze 4 days in a row? Am I dead? I feel like this is what heaven might be. 🙂

    • @katajha831
      @katajha831 3 роки тому +5

      I know right?

    • @AndrewMitchell123
      @AndrewMitchell123 3 роки тому +6

      yeah right... I am questioning myself, am I alive or not? xD this is just paradise so much Blaze in such short a time xD

    • @masongiles8443
      @masongiles8443 3 роки тому +1

      I just said the exact same thing when I saw the notification

    • @jakemccabe1637
      @jakemccabe1637 3 роки тому +1

      It's the best of times to be alive!

    • @mikelmansfield8359
      @mikelmansfield8359 3 роки тому +2

      Naw heaven would be having simon there to drink with and have him to talk to and rant away

  • @broke_af_games9661
    @broke_af_games9661 3 роки тому +10

    I've always wanted to make up a conspiracy as a test to show how people will believe anything semi-believable.

    • @fcktherich6913
      @fcktherich6913 Рік тому +1

      That's what Qanon started out as, then it was hijacked by true believers and is still peppered with people making up the most unbelievable stuff. Unfortunately it's lead to violence and mayhem so...

    • @broke_af_games9661
      @broke_af_games9661 Рік тому

      @@fcktherich6913 sssooooo probably best not to give into those urges to watch the world burn.
      sounds like a plan.
      wasn't sure if that's what happened with Qanon, but I suspected either intentional mayhem or mental health.
      I also suspect all culty and mainstream institutions started out the same way.

  • @petehornsby5516
    @petehornsby5516 3 роки тому +10

    Simon's epitaph will simply be:
    Allegedly

  • @xRubySky
    @xRubySky 3 роки тому +114

    This is honestly one of the most entertaining channel on youtube, if not the best. I could listen to you reading scripts and adding your comments all day long XD
    Also a Business Blaze Video about terrorist attacks? Yes please!

    • @Logan.
      @Logan. 3 роки тому +4

      Right? Only channel I can actually sit thru the ads

    • @Hollylivengood
      @Hollylivengood 3 роки тому +5

      @@Logan. I sat through an add for a beany that will shield you from 5g, thinking it was part of the video. It was so damn funny.

    • @Logan.
      @Logan. 3 роки тому

      @@Hollylivengood lmao😂😂

  • @God-Emperor_Elizabeth_the_2nd
    @God-Emperor_Elizabeth_the_2nd 3 роки тому +88

    People who watch this channel should be called “Blazerunners”

  • @dracoargentum9783
    @dracoargentum9783 3 роки тому +10

    Goddamn, I WISH our technology was at the level of having functional computer chips that were small enough to be injected by a hypodermic needle AND was rugged enough to withstand the environment inside our bodies for more than a second. I have been waiting since '92 for nanobots.
    but I don't want to just do it.

  • @guitardweep13
    @guitardweep13 3 роки тому +26

    when I first discovered Simon through Today i Found Out, I thought he was some towering intellectual polymath, researching and writing these beautiful scripts, then narrating them and producing slick, high quality videos.
    Then I listened to the BrainFood podcast and found that the content came from other people writing articles, and Daven was the editor and master mind of the product. Still I was impressed with Simon's skill as a producer and an orator, his ability to deliver a script in an amiable and involving tone.
    Then I started watching Business Blaze, and now I know the truth.

    • @susinator
      @susinator Рік тому

      I thought the same thing, only I found him through Biographics.

  • @Herr_U
    @Herr_U 3 роки тому +64

    As someone who lives near where 5g has been in service since 2016 (yes, I live at walking distance from one of Ericsson's telecom labs, as well as two of their test sites) that 5g conspiracy seems extra weird, not to mention that people are trying to recruit for that it should have some kind of connection are around here as well (yes, they are unaware of just how close they are to a whole bunch of telecom labs)

    • @ChanDeereGreen
      @ChanDeereGreen 3 роки тому +17

      My son is a cell tower technician, working hard on the 5G rollout - and in some places the protests are making his life kind of hell. Also, he has been working VERY close to (like, actually ON mostly) 5G towers for a couple of years, and he's in quite excellent health.
      But yeah, sure, one discredited doctor prolly knows ... nevermind.

    • @barneymiller7894
      @barneymiller7894 3 роки тому +9

      @@ChanDeereGreen Your son has more patience than me, if I was installing 5G towers and people were protesting me I'd quit and leave like "Fine you psychos, have slow phones, see if I give two shits!" 😂

    • @MsAngrybutterfly
      @MsAngrybutterfly 3 роки тому +9

      I live in San Francisco, and we had a nutter on Nextdoor trying to spread 5g conspiracy crap, and someone who is a telecommunications engineer who also lives in the neighborhood very patiently (far more so than deserved) and respectfully (far more than deserved) explained exactly why the conspiracy theories were technically impossible and nutter was unmoved, demanding that all opinions were valid, as long as they were her own.

    • @barneymiller7894
      @barneymiller7894 3 роки тому +1

      @Lassi Kinnunen 81 Its now my theory that actually NONE of you exist, therefore none of you can tell me im wrong about my theory because your all apparitions. Perfect conspiracy theory 👌

    • @TatiSaysSo
      @TatiSaysSo 3 роки тому

      @@barneymiller7894 5g doesn’t even make your phone faster so what’s the point?

  • @drowsyd3m0n1c
    @drowsyd3m0n1c 3 роки тому +58

    "my channel will get banned, I didn't even think about this" starts loading ad... one of the few times a youtube ad was timed properly.

    • @adamreddaway2005
      @adamreddaway2005 3 роки тому

      Lol, my internet connection is spotty and it chose exactly that moment to refresh. I thought for just a moment perhaps Simon had put a pause in the video there just to mess with us.

    • @Logan.
      @Logan. 3 роки тому +10

      That load was baked into the video

    • @Logan.
      @Logan. 3 роки тому +1

      @@adamreddaway2005 ⬆️

    • @GrubbsandWyrm
      @GrubbsandWyrm 3 роки тому +1

      @@Logan. baked, yes

    • @MAashChick
      @MAashChick 3 роки тому

      The communism, cocaine, and hitler videos also always have ads. I'm beginning to the the demonetization things is a myth

  • @tonyvolume666
    @tonyvolume666 3 роки тому +12

    I always watch Simon’s more serious videos, I never realized how funny he is. I’m definitely watching more.

  • @corvolavender5586
    @corvolavender5586 Рік тому +2

    I worked in a phone shop during the roll out of 5G. We had to have special training so we could debunk the crazies about 5G.

  • @lizdierdorf
    @lizdierdorf 3 роки тому +84

    Bill Gates wants all of us to forcefully play “Raid Shadow Legend”…
    …allegedly!

    • @ilkkarautio2449
      @ilkkarautio2449 3 роки тому +5

      Still havent tried it, never will. 🤔😇

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican 3 роки тому +152

    But HEY, that’s just a theory...
    *A CONSPIRACY THEORY*

    • @Lex_Quinn
      @Lex_Quinn 3 роки тому +12

      Thanks for watching

    • @erikkornfeld785
      @erikkornfeld785 3 роки тому +7

      Enjoying the spurge of MatPat and Simon videos, I take it? Same here.

    • @peterkirby1753
      @peterkirby1753 3 роки тому +4

      Conspiracy HYPOTHESIS 🤔 😁

    • @gamesman0118
      @gamesman0118 3 роки тому +2

      Allegedly

    • @michaelb1761
      @michaelb1761 3 роки тому +3

      Both drink diet Coke??? Coincidence???? Hmmmm?

  • @SlyBlu7
    @SlyBlu7 3 роки тому +2

    As soon as you said, "My channel might even get banned," my connection hiccupped and I hit a loading wheel for about 5 seconds, and then you beeped back in with the next take. Might be the hardest I've ever laughed at Blaze

    • @pugz3230
      @pugz3230 3 роки тому +2

      That loading wheel was part of the video

  • @Mini_Squatch
    @Mini_Squatch 3 роки тому +3

    I remember John Oliver put it wonderfully. He pointed out that yes the 5G and covid maps overlap - but because they also correspond to the population density maps. to emphasize that he also pointed out how the density of I think it was pizza hut? or maybe dominos? anyways a pizza place also correlated to the population density, and thus, the 5G and covid maps, among other ridiculous examples of correlation.
    but the thing that disturbs me most about these conspiracy theories and how widespread they get is that they highlight a severe misunderstanding of science.

  • @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un
    @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un 3 роки тому +57

    Four days in a row? Danny is working harder than usual...
    *What did you do*

    • @zone_braker
      @zone_braker 3 роки тому +4

      Whip makes people more efficient.

    • @rule_brittania2142
      @rule_brittania2142 3 роки тому +3

      Columbia

    • @phomo561
      @phomo561 3 роки тому +5

      He's got a new supplier of Angel's Dust 😂
      And i have a feeling it's purer than the one they used to get 😃

    • @adamd5849
      @adamd5849 3 роки тому

      Let's not ask

    • @MAashChick
      @MAashChick 3 роки тому +2

      Taking notes are you?

  • @Smi7h1sH3r3
    @Smi7h1sH3r3 3 роки тому +62

    "this is a bit of a tangent" he says.
    Pretty sure that's somehow becoming why we're here. Danny goes on a tangent. Simon interrupts Danny with a tangent. Sam memes the shit out of both of them.

    • @AvoidTheCadaver
      @AvoidTheCadaver 3 роки тому +8

      We still haven't had the most important tangent.
      Danny's Biogrpahics

    • @Smi7h1sH3r3
      @Smi7h1sH3r3 3 роки тому +4

      @@AvoidTheCadaver hahaha. what historians will realize 100 years from now is that Danny has been telling his autobiography in tidbits of blaze that, when synced together, played backwards and the digital interpretation of the sounds will reveal the secrets of the universe......

    • @barrydysert2974
      @barrydysert2974 3 роки тому +2

      Tangential Musings in a Fractal Universe 🎆😷🖖

    • @AvoidTheCadaver
      @AvoidTheCadaver 3 роки тому

      @@Smi7h1sH3r3
      The greatest mystery will be piecing together the time line ooooooh

    • @andreahughes1155
      @andreahughes1155 3 роки тому

      @@AvoidTheCadaver I could honestly see him doing a fake Danny bio. Would be funny.

  • @jontyjames9121
    @jontyjames9121 3 роки тому +8

    Simon’s tangents last longer than the extended version of a Meatloaf song!!!! Always good to hear them

  • @kezl3037
    @kezl3037 3 роки тому +5

    I had to explain to a friend how 5g couldn't direct its Ray's to one floor of a nursing home, giving them all covid. Thanks for this

  • @RIlianP
    @RIlianP 3 роки тому +26

    At least two (small) towns in my country have banned 5G towers from their territories with the decrees from the town counsels, when I read this I literally wanted to cry and laugh at the same time

    • @harrypadarri6349
      @harrypadarri6349 3 роки тому +4

      “Let’s turn our town into a underdeveloped economic wasteland!”

  • @sqggle
    @sqggle 3 роки тому +22

    As an electronic engineer, I spent a bit unwrapping the top part of the schematic out of curiosity. I then read "footswitch" and "treble", and more or less lost hope for a fair fraction of humanity.

  • @benshaw9951
    @benshaw9951 3 роки тому +6

    This is just brilliant, I dont know why, but it's so entertaining. It's like my inner voice became a person reading to me lol

  • @codidevlugt2153
    @codidevlugt2153 3 роки тому +4

    Ok everytime Simon says "let's crack on" please just do Rob Ford memes. As a Canadian I can't stop laughing at that. Sam you're a MEMELORD!

  • @pootlesnoot8278
    @pootlesnoot8278 3 роки тому +123

    So many Blazes in so short a time, I think we are witnessing Simon have a meltdown in real time. I hope that Danny can find the key to the basement door before Simon goes full Yoko

    • @AndrewMitchell123
      @AndrewMitchell123 3 роки тому +2

      oh this the most Blazed comment I've seen in a while xD

    • @baryonyx2574
      @baryonyx2574 3 роки тому +11

      Don't worry, Simon gave me Skillshare and I'm watching 'How to Pick Locks' right now. Gotta get out of the chains first.

    • @AndrewMitchell123
      @AndrewMitchell123 3 роки тому +2

      @@baryonyx2574 pray for you Danny, am not religious btw xD just hope you break away in time man, Simon's getting crazier and crazier with every new vid xD like Felix when he grows a beard xD

    • @carouselofagony3276
      @carouselofagony3276 3 роки тому +3

      Very optimistic he didn't just weld the door and cut a food slot

    • @zeusathena26
      @zeusathena26 3 роки тому +1

      @@baryonyx2574 well I guess we gotta hope your IQ is higher than what Simon said it was. Otherwise skillshare won't help much 🤣

  • @DayZeroGaming
    @DayZeroGaming 3 роки тому +26

    A 4TH DAY OF BLAZE! let's make an international holiday for this rare occurrence never seen on planet earth before. And call it, DANYY DAY.. oh wait. I meant... BLAZE DAY!

  • @KingHunter868
    @KingHunter868 3 роки тому +4

    I’ve never ever seen this guy this animated between his millions of other channels I never realized existed... I’m glad I found this.. stay good Mr Whistler

  • @TheKered1007
    @TheKered1007 3 роки тому +4

    So some of the dumb things a few British people did make you a bit sad to be from there? Try being from Florida. You get the state and the country at times. lol

  • @NavneetRao
    @NavneetRao 3 роки тому +24

    Y'know... I got vaccinated a few weeks ago and my cell reception has never been better! (Allegedly)
    Can't wait for that booster shot!

    • @NoxDolore
      @NoxDolore 2 роки тому +4

      Careful mate, might end up bringing down satellites with all that reception

    • @achristiananarchist2509
      @achristiananarchist2509 Рік тому +1

      This is actually how I first became aware of this conspiracy, a guy from work coming up to me after being out recovering from his covid shot and saying "Fuck the covid vaccine. I felt like crap for 2 days and my wi-fi still sucks."

    • @rk4397
      @rk4397 Рік тому

      What are your cells receiving? Sounds suspicious to me.

  • @ssj4gogeta87
    @ssj4gogeta87 3 роки тому +49

    Simon must be trying to pay off his mortgage earlier four blazes in one week we are honoured.

    • @macuss87
      @macuss87 3 роки тому +8

      Simon said in a very recent video he lives in an apartment.... So I think he's getting the down payment ready!!

    • @imperlast2
      @imperlast2 3 роки тому +4

      @@macuss87 if he relay wants to do that he should just a raid shadow legend ad

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 роки тому +2

      I think he'd do more TIFO video in that case 😂. I assume it took a while to get sponsors to approve them and now he's releasing them all. Plus czeck has closed the borders again, probably still on lockdown what's a man to do but constantly work

    • @macuss87
      @macuss87 3 роки тому +5

      @@imperlast2 If simon did a raid ad then said yeah the wife wants a house.... I'd fall over laughing!

  • @scruffiestofnerfherders7397
    @scruffiestofnerfherders7397 3 роки тому +4

    "what am I talking about"-Simon's constant inner thought

  • @liesbethcarlier2318
    @liesbethcarlier2318 3 роки тому +6

    As a Belgian, I was outraged for a 10ths of a second. But then I was like “yeah... he’s not wrong.”

    • @paulscottfilms
      @paulscottfilms 3 роки тому

      he is wrong about r5G, He uses his big mouth rather than facts

    • @HelixHunter
      @HelixHunter 3 роки тому

      Relatable

  • @bartfoster1311
    @bartfoster1311 3 роки тому +36

    Simon: my channels did better after I shaved my head.
    They did even better after you grew a beard 😂

    • @SkuLLetjaH
      @SkuLLetjaH 3 роки тому +5

      They did even better after he grew a coke dependency.

    • @BrickNewton
      @BrickNewton 3 роки тому +3

      @@SkuLLetjaH Allegedly

  • @soberhippie
    @soberhippie 3 роки тому +12

    19:42 "If you're dumb, .. use our sponsor" - that's the best promotion I've ever heard. Where does the queue of sponsors end?

    • @bostjan-sj
      @bostjan-sj 3 роки тому +1

      "If you are dumb, and you need help... Skillshare!"
      Ahaha, this one literally made my day! If _this_ breaks the 1000 new Skillshare referrals, then Simon has discovered an innovative marketing strategy. :)

    • @bostjan-sj
      @bostjan-sj 3 роки тому +1

      ...or how to sell stuff to one special segment of the population. ;)

  • @cssimps
    @cssimps Рік тому +1

    I love ALL your channels. I have so much to catch up on as I only found you 2 most ago.
    Btw... you are LEGEND!

  • @elliottsw
    @elliottsw Рік тому +3

    I love it when people confuse 5G mobile service with 5GHz Wifi... totally different things but they swap them interchangably in their wild conspiracies!

    • @elliottsw
      @elliottsw Рік тому +1

      This is also why they think 5G heats water - because old WiFi at 2.4GHz is quite close to the frequency range used by actual microwaves, and they see that 5G WiFi routers came out around the same time as 5G cell towers and just assume they're all the same

  • @SdeHe-qb9gc
    @SdeHe-qb9gc 3 роки тому +29

    "Its embarrassing being British sometimes"
    I know the feeling -An American

    • @shade989
      @shade989 3 роки тому +4

      So true. We had a deranged Cheeto for a president. LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣

    • @skipfred
      @skipfred 3 роки тому +2

      "It's embarrassing being British sometimes" - The Founding Fathers, 1765

    • @TheColonelKlink
      @TheColonelKlink 3 роки тому

      American embarrassment + British embarrassment < Trudeau induced Canadian cringe.

    • @HorusHerotic
      @HorusHerotic 3 роки тому

      @@shade989 most British can see the anti-trump are just a psychotic as the pro Trump.

    • @shade989
      @shade989 3 роки тому

      @@HorusHerotic lol True, but I am talking about the man himself.

  • @autumnalvoid9646
    @autumnalvoid9646 3 роки тому +39

    "I didn't do the thing I was supposed to do because in an alternate timeline, it went horribly wrong, so I have saved us all by not doing it." That's gonna be my new favourite excuse for being lazy... I mean... responsible.

    • @ZentaBon
      @ZentaBon 2 роки тому

      Got adhd? Lack of dopamine is a good one, since with too little dopamine you're kinda fucked. Short term memory? Nope. Forget what you're doing while doing it, forget important things, can't even get out of bed, mentally exhausted super easily.

    • @ZentaBon
      @ZentaBon 2 роки тому

      (Laziness does not exist in a vacuum and always has a cause and if you can't identify the cause look into your dopamine levels)

    • @noone3216
      @noone3216 2 роки тому

      /whooosh

  • @JimMedcraft
    @JimMedcraft Рік тому +1

    I have been watching Simon for a few years over a few different channels. I'm trying to pick the point where he became so much more casual.

  • @elaineconn1666
    @elaineconn1666 Рік тому +1

    So I listen to Simon sometimes late at night. The 5G Conspiracies segment had me laughing 😂so hard….I finally had to subscribe.

  • @benno_photography
    @benno_photography 3 роки тому +90

    What is happening here?
    4 days of the blaze in a row

    • @the_peefster
      @the_peefster 3 роки тому +5

      Blaze it every day yo

    • @XDarkGreyX
      @XDarkGreyX 3 роки тому +7

      @@the_peefster More content for his daughter to discover about 10 years from now.

    • @cilith1
      @cilith1 3 роки тому +5

      5g is affecting his memory and he's forgetting he already posted a video.

    • @RealBradMiller
      @RealBradMiller 3 роки тому +3

      So, allegedly Danny isn't the one in the basement, it's Simon!

    • @feraldelight
      @feraldelight 3 роки тому +2

      A gift is what it is!

  • @ultraman6644
    @ultraman6644 3 роки тому +27

    simon: stops talking
    me: takes a massive drink of water
    Simon: starts talking again
    me: oh sh*t

  • @Itried20takennames
    @Itried20takennames 3 роки тому +2

    Some people were scared of radio waves in the 20s and 30s as home radio (and radio waves) grew, and blamed them for their health problems.

  • @garethjones9280
    @garethjones9280 3 роки тому

    Loved this video - subbed
    Let that rage flow through you 🤣

  • @themockingjay8645
    @themockingjay8645 3 роки тому +35

    I feel like ETA could have co-starred this episode

  • @stevejester5658
    @stevejester5658 3 роки тому +8

    "5G will make you sterile😱😱😱"
    Me: *Laughs in vasectomy*

  • @mikexstad1121
    @mikexstad1121 3 роки тому +6

    This version of Simon, my first time ever seeing this, scares the shit out of me 😂

  • @lisamoulton2540
    @lisamoulton2540 3 роки тому

    LOVE these memes!!! The best yet!

  • @SamTomMillerMusic
    @SamTomMillerMusic 3 роки тому +48

    I misread the title as "50" conspiracies
    Im a bit disappointed

    • @phomo561
      @phomo561 3 роки тому

      You're on to something here ...

    • @mwindanji6714
      @mwindanji6714 3 роки тому +3

      Stick around. I'm sure Danny can ferret out 40 more. Good for another 4 or so uploads....

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 3 роки тому +4

      Simon's next channel - TopFiftyz

  • @pert-smith
    @pert-smith 3 роки тому +60

    Simon’s ad reads are actually more entertaining than most channels on UA-cam.

    • @noone3216
      @noone3216 2 роки тому +1

      You, my friend, need to experience Internet Historian's ad time (or "add thyme")
      Sometimes I'll rewatch videos just for the ads

    • @HavianEla
      @HavianEla 2 роки тому

      Puppet History also has good ad reads! That’s an IMPORTANT part of being a UA-camr!

  • @joeystrittmatter6890
    @joeystrittmatter6890 3 роки тому

    Once again love your work

  • @brandyblalock4478
    @brandyblalock4478 3 роки тому

    I really enjoy you guys' videos. Thank-you.

  • @christagronbech
    @christagronbech 3 роки тому +30

    Danny writes us a script... Are you sure ETA didn't write this one???

    • @MrTripcore
      @MrTripcore 4 місяці тому

      The Ju wrote it duh

  • @tomyouel9302
    @tomyouel9302 3 роки тому +8

    A-Flock-alypse. I'm dead. Genius

  • @scott5703
    @scott5703 3 роки тому

    Hilarious, thanks guys. You guys rock.

  • @mattiemathis9549
    @mattiemathis9549 Рік тому

    Awesome Blaze!!! Thank you!

  • @DoomLatveria
    @DoomLatveria 3 роки тому +24

    I wish I could share a beer with the first certifiably legend himself, Simon, when the pandemic has finally stopped or right before it ends all humanity. Either way, still the same wish.

    • @catoverlord8378
      @catoverlord8378 3 роки тому +2

      Man...i was reading that w/o my glasses and read it as "share a bear"...i was like, hunting?! A 🐻?! 😂

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 роки тому +2

      @@catoverlord8378 I'd share a bear.

    • @catoverlord8378
      @catoverlord8378 3 роки тому

      @@brainblaze6526 😂

  • @isaacschmitt4803
    @isaacschmitt4803 3 роки тому +7

    My video started pinwheeling after Simon said "conspiracy" and I was like "haha, funny one Simon." Five minutes later I realized I was in a dead zone. . .

  • @TheDesius
    @TheDesius 10 місяців тому +1

    That jab at Belgium was great, Simon could have been Dutch 😂

  • @welshdragon99
    @welshdragon99 3 роки тому +2

    Simon casually admitting to past software piracy. This is the blaze we expect.

  • @kenhelmers2603
    @kenhelmers2603 3 роки тому +63

    Simon - proof that ADHD can be fun to watch!

  • @daemonsdiablo
    @daemonsdiablo 3 роки тому +14

    You should do a business blaze about the people that have reacted to various advancements over the years. There were people saying the same things about electricity before it was everywhere.

    • @qekelelemike4608
      @qekelelemike4608 3 роки тому +4

      In more recent times - the 4G was the end of humanity. Same tune (and possibly genes) played again and again. 😅

    • @daemonsdiablo
      @daemonsdiablo 3 роки тому +1

      Yeah, electricity, radio (which Simon did mention in this), I'm pretty sure people have behaved that way about every major technology. I wonder how much info there is about the protests and conspiracy theories from those.

    • @shivanshna7618
      @shivanshna7618 3 роки тому +2

      Vaccines,GMO, allopathic medicine,super sonic travel, Nuclear energy

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 роки тому

      Yes! Remember when electricity was, "the work of the devil"? I'm kinda shocked that 5g has been _surpassed_ to 7g & 9g in Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Japan & more. So, why not aliens! What scary thing are they doing??🤣🤣

    • @Pile_of_carbon
      @Pile_of_carbon 3 роки тому

      Sounds like a fun topic. Dumbest conspiracy theories concerning new technology. Aristotle was, allegedly, anti-writing because he thought people would become dumber when they didn't have to remember exactly everything at all times.

  • @jasper265
    @jasper265 3 роки тому +1

    You should definitely do a sponsorship with D-Brand. Going off of their sponsorship of LTT last year, the humor their marketing department has would be a perfect match for this channel.

  • @SP_3333
    @SP_3333 2 роки тому

    The burp - word, occurrrrrrred, that you used to hilight, (allegedly) someone's lack of brain cells, actually made me lol.
    It's been awhile.
    2 years give or take.
    Thank you Simon.

  • @russellpittman5517
    @russellpittman5517 3 роки тому +9

    Simon I need you to make a T-shirt that has "are you smoking crack?) I think it's become my new favorite phrase.

  • @kayleelockheart8208
    @kayleelockheart8208 3 роки тому +7

    Speaking of The WHO, fun fact: Peter Capaldi was credited in a film as "WHO Doctor" shortly before it was announced that he would be playing The Doctor on Doctor Who.

    • @aceundead4750
      @aceundead4750 3 роки тому +1

      Before that he was a world leader embroiled in a conspiracy theory, and before that he was a Roman at the destruction of Pompeii. He has the right job for the horrible situation each time

  • @itslucy3331
    @itslucy3331 2 роки тому

    I’ve watched basically all your channels but this is the first video of yours I’ve watched on this channel and i feel like it’s so different to biographics or geographics and I love it! You just seem a bit more informal and I feel like I’m just having a conversation with my mates it’s so funny

  • @dinkoz1
    @dinkoz1 3 роки тому +1

    For 4 years I was certifier and tester of electrical installations, lightning protection and electromagnetic field of antenna systems of base stations of GSM networks. There were never any problems until I received an order to test a medium wave antenna that was 76 m high and connected to a 1.5 kW transmitter. As soon as I got to the container with the equipment at the bottom of the antenna, my cell phone was burned by transmiter energy, literally.
    Conspiracy theories are about the wrong systems of networks and communications 😎

  • @alidaggawood8932
    @alidaggawood8932 3 роки тому +24

    5G turned my spinach into electric mountain spinach mere moments before seeing this video. Either that or I'm very blazed.
    Allegedly.

    • @thexyouman
      @thexyouman 3 роки тому +1

      Do u usually smoke ur spinach? Iv never tried that

    • @AndrewMitchell123
      @AndrewMitchell123 3 роки тому +1

      allegedly xD

    • @alidaggawood8932
      @alidaggawood8932 3 роки тому +1

      Yes, it is best smoked just as is, I find wrapping it in a thin paper of sorts really gets the job done best.
      Allegedly of course

    • @thexyouman
      @thexyouman 3 роки тому

      @@alidaggawood8932 yes, allegedly. Ofc

  • @ReversibleOctopus
    @ReversibleOctopus 3 роки тому +7

    Simon "It's dark because of Winter."
    Danny and Sam, who only have a small tallow candle in the basement "Really?!"

  • @Timthevapeman44
    @Timthevapeman44 2 роки тому +1

    Bro when you did that joke about the channel getting banned and put in the buffering screen, I legit rebooted my Wi-Fi because I thought that something went wrong LOL

  • @jorgegutierrezabdo
    @jorgegutierrezabdo 3 роки тому

    I didn't know about the two fingers thing in the UK. Thank you for the explanation Simon. Great video as always. Awesome script Danny, and excellent memes Sam!

  • @Scozza87
    @Scozza87 3 роки тому +8

    I’m genuinely disappointed that ETA didn’t feature in this episode. After all, this is his jam!

  • @splintersparten9989
    @splintersparten9989 3 роки тому +4

    We definitely "need" a video about the "best" terrorist attacks.

    • @robertwilliams-day320
      @robertwilliams-day320 3 роки тому +1

      We could have terrorised group, that where epically incompetent. I heard a story that the Free Welsh Army once blow up half a lamppost.

    • @splintersparten9989
      @splintersparten9989 3 роки тому

      @@robertwilliams-day320 that's hilarious. I'm glad they failed but like how stupid do you have to be to decide on attacking a lamp post?

  • @mho...
    @mho... 3 роки тому

    Cant Help but always seeing that *"STD-2019"* Text on his shirt from certain angles 🤣 true certified legend!

  • @iffrit6757
    @iffrit6757 3 роки тому

    'I digress!' ... I love runaway simon. 😂

  • @michaelmurphy2786
    @michaelmurphy2786 3 роки тому +57

    The question isnt why Danny is hanging out with people, the question is what is Danny doing out of the basement? Is that what the drilling was in the last Blaaaaaaaaze with my boy?
    Simon on Snopes: www.snopes.com/fact-check/pierce-brosnan-net-worth/

    • @sse_weston4138
      @sse_weston4138 3 роки тому +2

      Absolute legend for linking that article. Thank you

  • @theCidisIn
    @theCidisIn 3 роки тому +41

    Perfect time. Just blazed... Allegedly.

  • @stott32
    @stott32 3 роки тому +1

    Jedi level mastery of passive aggressiveness.
    Loved it

  • @kellywalsh30
    @kellywalsh30 3 роки тому

    This video was awesome made me laugh out loud!! Do more simon!!