The World's Best Terrorist Attacks
Вставка
- Опубліковано 4 лют 2021
- Thanks to SHEATH for sponsoring today's video. Get 20% off your order right here - thld.co/SHEATH_blaze
BECOME A LEGEND (with ease) by joining my Legendary Legends Newsletter: t.co/jedug2vS4Q?amp=1
This video is #sponsored by Sheath.
Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel
Thanks to SHEATH for sponsoring today's video. Get 20% off your order right here - thld.co/SHEATH_blaze
After you said you wouldn't do 1 if these vids you must of have loads of people on your back about it 🤣
You're wearing "Regular Black"...as opposed to black that's irregular?
You should just rename this channell to "allegedly"
Honestly, are the undies regular or _ultra_ soft? What's the fabric contents? Are they 'sinful' undies, you know cotton poly blended? We _need more_ sinning clothes!! 🤣🤣🤣
Best. Sponsor. EVER. For Business Blaze, that is. HAPEEPEE!
worlds best terrorist attacks and still manages to get sponsored... Simon is a true genius😂😂
Damn skippy
Legend truly
I hope the sponsor did know the topic
Pretty sure Isis will claim this so he won't make any money
ALLEGEDLY
A British person getting awkward about his genitals in the middle of taking about terrorism. 11/10
😂😂😂 🖖
Terrorists: *blow themselves up in accident*
Simon: "oh no. Anyways..."
I nearly spit out my tea at "do we count the terrorists' deaths?" "Hell yah, that was the best part of it!"
The mad lad actually did it. Legendary.
aLEGENDly*
The Boi with the Blaze just became the man with the Blaze with that balsy title.
Damn beat me to it Hahaha
LMAO that's exactly what I thought when I saw this hahahaha
This needs more likes!!
Ok, if you manage to not get this demontized you should hold a TED talk
Here comes his Ted talk
HA.
The tile being "How to be a dick and a legend at the same time"
His sponsor alone will get him demonetised tbh
There are ads... He might be good.
Since youtube is a fan of religious terrorists...
Best Simon quotes from today's episode "You've just over estimated how much I care" & "Why am I giving the terrorists tips? For fuck sake Simon".
Best of Danny's writing "Hopefully we won't be focusing too much on the negative side of terrorism".🤣🤣
Simon you need to record a loud scream then have a button on your desk that you can "SMASH" that plays it whenever required to save your voice.
Best (legendary) comedy duo team for this episode for sure!❤🇨🇦.
Great, now he's singing
even more torture for Danny
We've all herd your voice... 🙉
Danny enjoys my singing. He's been heavily conditioned.
@@brainblaze6526 this is such an entendre.
Hey Kim how’s it going? It’s been awhile!
@@brainblaze6526 or heavily medicated
Here it is. The Blaze that EVERY ONE wanted
Allegendly
@@christopherstorey1125 In my opinon
Too freaking long enough.
And we Blazies appreciate that.
@@richardaubrecht2822 Allegedly...
Business Blaze:
"Where shit too offensive for Top Tenz ends up"
We all know sooner or later a biographics video of Danni is coming on this channel
We can only hope and dream
@@savejeff15 waiting patiently for thissssss..
I'd buy a shirt with that saying and Simon's face on it
We already know alot about Danny - just watch all BB episodes from the start: Rotherham, tried to run dating agency on his Commodore 64, Phillipines. List goes on :)
I don't think it should be 'Blazies', but 'Blazees'. Your boy with the Blaze is the Blazer, and we are all Blazees.
We need a "You've just overestimated how much I care" t-shirt. And mug. Hell, put it on anything and I will buy the shit out of it. Please!
I second this
Honourable mention...
Glasgow Airport attack:
Terrorist sets himself on fire when he doused himself in propane while driving into a barrier in front of the entrance...
Exits the car on fire and is kicked in balls by a passing baggage handler...
Dies in a hospital burn ward about a month latter...
No other fatalities...
N-now how did you stop a terrorist attack again?
A swift kick to the bollocks? Yeah.... Yeah, I guess that'd work.
Smeato got a well deserved standing ovation at Ibrox. A hero of our time. Legend
Dankula did a video on it
@@diogeneslantern18 do you know what it's called?
Best part was he broke bones in his feet from the kick
Simon, "Granddad can drone on and on and on"
Simon takes 9 minutes to get to the script.
We know where he got it from, now.
@@___LC___ Thats what I thought to lol I guess he can be more thankful for his Granddad now cuz he is making money from it.
Must be a family trait!
Legit.
Simon is gonna be the best Granddad!!
Australian here: no, it is just the news agents. Whilste saying that, most people will just call the local general store or news agents the milk-bar.
Milk bar must be a regional thing as I've never heard anyone say that
@@sarajudith91 I think it's more of an older generation cause I hear my father say it all the time. I just assumed he meant some kind of restaurant.
I belive milkbar is a more Victorian thing, I was shoicked when I went to SA and NSW in the 80's and found out they didn't call milkbars milkbars!
New Zealander here: we don't have news agents here... you buy newspapers at servos or dairies. The more you know hahaha
Simon no longer shouting “Danny we talked about this” is not okay. The Danny memes and outright abuse is half the reason I’m here
Well if he keeps shouting it for much longer he won’t be able to keep shouting it for much longer.
BUSINESS BLAZE IS OVER.
@@brainblaze6526 #CancelSimon
@@brainblaze6526 Allegedly!
Funny that since I started watching this channel, UA-cam stopped sending TodayIFoundOut to my homescreen
HE DID IT, he actually did it, that glorious bastard
Lmao that was exactly my reaction on seeing that title
Just the sort of thing I like: _Terrorists_ removing themselves from the gene pool without taking innocents with them! More, please. Stay safe, everyone.
The Blaze Boys: "Fuck that algorithm".
Suicide bomber school instructor: “Okay everyone, pay attention. Because I’m only going to do this once, and only once!”
The dad dropping his son off at that school: "They blow up so fast!"
@@TheGhostOfFredZeppelin dad to kid: son, take your Aloha Snackbar!
When you're building the bomb don't do th....
Allow allo.... If you know you know if you don't look it up.
😂🤣😂🤣
Simon is Actually the one locked in the basement, Danny and Sam are his Over-Lords. If you listen closely you can hear them, "Dance monkey boy, DANCE!"
Every time Simon yells out, it's to object to his own captivity. Problem is if he makes too much noise he gets the hose again.
Simon just tries to play it off as though he has Neighbours. But that's just what they tell him while he accepts his beatings from his masters.
Sam and Danny are the TRUE masters here.
Allegedly.
Sheath Underwear: Rediscovering the codpiece after 500 years.
😁 Rather less display aspect though! (Have you seen the crazy Renaissance suits of armour which are fitted with very prominent metal ones? Wowzers!)
@@annastevens1526 Yes, I have. They’re hard to miss, which is sorta the point.
@@fredblonder7850 Yep! Although that's somewhat counter-intuitive on a set of armour - getting things to miss or bounce off is the whole point yeah? ;-) Can only guess they were only used for ceremonial purposes, mostly by kings & others who'd be way behind the lines anyway in most circumstances...
@@annastevens1526 I’m going to guess that in battle, a large in intimidating codpiece would be, well, large and intimidating. I expect a metal codpiece would not be terribly comfortable.
I do a lot of historical re-enactment, and have worn codpiece (cloth) and find it very comfortable but feel more self-conscious about it than being fully nude.
The Codpiece : the first false advertising in history
Australian here; we call it a Newsagents.
However, if you called it a "Newso," we would know what you mean.
Can confirm as another 'Strayan here, it's newso. We just add "o" to words. Simon would be Simmmoooo, eg. "Oi Simmmoooo mate, great new episode of the bloody Blazo!"
@@StefanMK1989 new epo of the bloody blazo
@@StefanMK1989 we take the first syllable and add a vowel, certainly. It seems to usually be a soft "a" or "o" sound for polysyllabic words and an "ey" or "o" for monosyllabic words.
There's got to be some level of rules on this, because "newsy" definitely sounds wrong. I should probably try and figure out what the rules are - but I'm more likely to link to a Rick-Roll because I can't be bothered.
Late Australian to the game here. Racked my brain for any kind of slang term for newsagent but came up surprisingly dry. However if we were to shorten it, I must agree the correct term would be “Newso” not “Newsie”
Fairly sure “newsie” is a journalist through
@@chloemarie91 but we call them journos
Simon: "I'm a terrible singer, dont get any ideas"
My only thought: Still better than Yoko Ono.
are we sure about that? Could be only better in that he doesn't prove it, lol
@@eliscanfield3913 Yoko Ono is a absolutely horrible "singer".
@@garretth8224 lol, I wasn't suggesting she was. I was suggesting that maybe Simon is too
I've never clicked on a business Blaze video so hard before. This is after the fact I'm editing it the fact that UA-cam put adverts on this video I think Simon sold his soul to the to them.
The Communism one though that was close
@@Dani-ln6sp that was close for me too.
Skip to end of video and restart video.... no ads
Get premium you cheapskate!!
From what I remember, Simon made this channel to do what he wanted. He has many other channels where he has to worry about what the viewers think to some extent; this is one of the ones where he does not have to worry about it and can be himself. I, for one, like seeing that.
Do you, Simon; you're the legend.
Simon: I can't sing.
Legends: We are well aware.
Simon says his grandad "will tell stories, he will go on" as Simon... goes ooonnnn. Lol
As an Australian, we don't have a common slang for Newsagent, but I'm sure there's hundreds of local colloquial names
Yea I've never heard any slang for it, it's either newsagent or paper shop.
I'd consider calling it a Newzie. Sounds like something we'd do
Nah, never called newsagent "newsies" but sure thing "Blazie" sounds fair dinkum :)
Simon's voice coach is secretly preparing him for his NEW CHANNEL where he analyzes death metal screaming technique. He had 10 spare minutes a day where he wasn't generating income and that didn't sit well. DANNY!
Am I crazy or did we just get Business Blaze 5 days in a row
Best thing to happen this week after 2nd lockdown , bushfires now a storm thats been my 7days here in Australia lol
I love all the in jokes as some one here towards the beginning and having watched all the blazes it's really fun. I will say it's hard to share these. When I watch them with my husband I find myself pausing the video every few minutes to explain why something is funny/why I'm laughing at some in joke.
tell your husband if he doesn't like it he can smash the dislike button
@@aranhsm2819 You legend!
If you remember the bit in Life of Brian where Brian's cult has a schism between the gourd followers and shoe non-wearers, that's basically Sunnis and Shias, but with less blood.
So; every religion ever.
Protestants and Catholics...
Ah yes, singing...
Simon is well deserving of a fellow Simon golden buzzer and every Grammy award
I’ve never watched today I found out. Blaze is the best. I like that it’s consistent and has in jokes. Every episode is new and fresh, yet comforting.
In canada we either get the news paper delivered (less common these days) or go to the newstand (where ya buy it from the seller) or a newspaper box (a self serve box where ya buy a newspaper) and the news boxes sit in front of stores, usually grocery stores.
"Worlds best terrorist attacks that's not gunna fly" I see what you did there. Ba-dum-tss
THSHSHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHS
This reminds me of the "Terrorist Attack at Glasgow Airport" story that Billy Connolly told, it's hilarious! It is true though, for any terrorists that want to come here, we WILL set right aboot ye!
“I’m not sure if that one will fly”
Best terrorists AND Simon’s description of Sheath underwear- LEGENDARY
You actually went and did this, you legend.
Allegedly
Down a haunted well of deception, is how Danny got tricked into getting locked in cellar.
Here goes Prague in a cloud of smoke and in smell of explosives.
"Blazie" needs to be put on some merch, ASAP.
Meme suggestion: Whenever the subject of not being able to pass a driving test, or just terrible driving in general, a good meme would be Spongebob Squarepants driving through the streets of Bikini Bottom, leaving swaths of destruction (toppled buildings, stuff on fire, etc.).
No a video of Mr bean driving would fit better as its very English
So its my birthday today and THIS is what I get as a gift from Simon?! Simon you legend, what a fantastic present from my boy with the blaze.
🎂
Happy birthday
Happy birthday 🎊🎈🎁🎉🎂
Simon says "What's wrong with me " ?. The rest of us, "Everything, that's why we like you ".
I recently learnt that a muslim calling another a "dog", or other expletives with canines, is exceedingly offensive.
Yeah it's sorta like calling someone a pig on steroids
Truth hurts?
In my opinion we need a video about rich people who "allegedly" got away with crimes, because they were rich. "Allegedly"
Who allegedly committed crimes but got away with it? I'd rather who allegedly commited the crimes but were later exonerated.
So, you're taking lessons from a singing teacher so you can properly yell at the infidels and Danny.
Danny, blink twice if you can hear us
Silence!!!
Wow, every time simon suggests something crazy like "the best terrorists" i always think its just a huge joke. I should've learned by now that its not just a joke and i love it
15:51 Simon's mom gets to hear about his sweaty junk. Lol
You're true legends for this one, Simon and Danny
Don't forget the meme-ologist Sam...
"I know the Shi'as and the Sunnis don't like each other. I don't know why " yeah, they don't either
Same with Trotskyists and Stalinists.
It's a long story that goes all the way back to the days after Mohammed.
Politics basically.
@@jbird4478 If it went back to the days before Mohammed, it would be even more confusing.
@@JimTheFly The Shia wanted the guy who was in charge 4th, Ali, to have been 2nd after Mohammed. The Sunni wanted it the way it was.
So it started over a guy not being in charge soon enough
Your sponsor is an absolute legend for agreeing to sponsor a video with this title.
For some reason, Danny not wanting to spoil the ending was the funninest part of this whole thing. The dad jokes are growing on me!
Of all the movies Simon HAS seen, Speed 2 is on the list..
Tragic.
I honestly was thinking the same exact thing.
Ikr!! I saw it once in Vanuatu, but it was a pirated version so you could see all these heads popping up & down at the bottom of the screen.... More entertaining than anything in the film! EXCEPT for the surprise of seeing our own Temuera Morrison popping up as the cruise ship's captain, complete with Kiwi accent - just seemed very incongruous for some reason floating in the sea (pun intended) of otherwise very American dialogue...?
Well done Sam!!!! That Potter meme was perfect!!!
4:30 - Chapter 0 - Letter bomb
8:55 - Chapter 1 - Explosive belt
11:55 - Chapter 2 - TICK TOCK
14:40 - Mid roll ads
17:55 - Chapter 3 - Dangerous deposit
21:25 - Chapter 4 - The black widow
23:35 - Chapter 5 - Cabin fever
Sheath: “Keeps you peepee happy.”
So it’s, uh, one of them Roman sheaths than?
I wouldn't mind being called "Blazers." It makes a play on words in my mind, as I imagine you might wear a blazer to a business meeting.
I'll buy that t shirt
"fhe only people we offerd here are terrorists."
"Don't worry, we make fun of all religions here." Agreed. We should let people know that before they ask to immigrate. Or emigrated?
You “immigrate” TO your new home. You “emigrate” FROM your old home.
I needed this. In moments of total loss of self esteem, I like to remember that I am not the dumbest of the dumb
Darwin Award type compilations always have a dual effect for me: relief at knowing I'm at least not THAT incompetent & absent-minded ... and lowkey terror at the thought that we probably share a planet with millions of the kind of people who end up in those videos!
I love how Simon goes off on a tangent every few minutes 🤣
In America, vocal coaches always say “sing like you talk with a English accent”
What do they tell you? 🤔
Talk like the royal family
They do that because British English is non-rhotic (they don’t pronounce r’s at the end of syllables). If you sing the hard r at the end of a syllable, it causes your intonation to change completely and your voice sounds really weird and comical. A good example is Bo Burnham’s old stuff.
Having been over there - they tend to teach them to bring the voice forward (like an American) while retaining their natural vertical space. The best ones on both sides of the pond maximize all resonances. (Low deep full breaths, vertical vowels, and forward placement.)
For most of the best singers it's difficult to tell by their singing alone which side of the pond they live on. Sometimes the lyrics in the song will give it away (e.g. British English vs American English) or pop culture references that didn't make it to the other side of the pond but it's a frequent occurrence that you need to wait for them to get interviewed.
I just imagine that Simon decided to not yell anymore. His neighbors are thinking "thank goodness that crazy guy shut up finally"
One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.
So it's possible to have a good terrorist attack depending on which side you're on
I think this should have been episode that Simon finally said fuck it and got a RAID:ABSOLUTE BELLENDS sponsorship 😂
That would've been amazing
I can’t believe this is actually happening
I’m surprised business blaze hasn’t been been demonetized yet
G’day from Down Under!
Newsagents here... at least in Western Australia!!
Second that, from Perth. Thanks for saving me to comment ;-).
Anybody else glad they dont have Danny's search history.....
If he wasn't on a list before now he is
Hes probably on a couple at this point.
Better get Surfshark VPN...
They'll never find him in the basement.
With so many jokes about Danny not being able to drive, my mental image of him has slowly become Spongebob XD
For reference: Mogadishu is in Somalia and it is generally where most of the pirates you hear about the US Navy shooting off ships come from. It's also where Black Hawk Down took place in the early 1990s. Like the actual event not the movie itself. Djibouti is another small African country on the East coast and it's equally tiny and mostly known for its funny name. There are or were significant NATO military presences in both nations.
I have been patiently waiting for this one. Well done Simon......well done.
Sam's editing during the ad read had me in tears!!!🤣😂🤣 This show completes my day!
Wait i thought he was joking about the Top Ten Terrorist attacks.
@asdrubale bisanzio all the jokes are inside.
You must be new here. Welcome to the BLAZE channel.... Allegedly
Brilliant writing and brilliantly presented! Also, can't and won't forget the editor. This was great.
This was brilliant, I really liked the way this was presented. It was like really personal.
Wow, I think this is the earliest I've ever gotten to one of your videos, Simon. 32 seconds since it was posted.
4:12 “You’ve just overestimated how much I care.” Should be a t-shirt
Okay so I always love your stuff Simon, subbed to every channel and everything. However, this is the first time I've laughed so hard I started crying >.< thank you and thank you Danny and Sam.
Sheath the two pouch undies...
"The even come in camouflage, to make your bits even more invisible." - Michael Malice
Edit: grammar
Sam is killing it today 😂😂😂😂 GREAT JOB SAM 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
"My granddad, he'll tell some stories, he'll definitely go on..."
Oh, really, Simon? You don't say.....
I've been WAITING for this episode... LEGENDARY!
The followers of the business blaze will put down their torches for the duration of this broadcast.
,😃
Good thing you didn't say just Blaze because it would have been tiki torches.
You actually did it. You beautiful legendary bastard.
It is 3AM Arizona time. I am having an allergy attack. I took too much medicine and I cannot sleep. This video makes it all worthwhile. Only Simon could get by with an underwear sponsored greatest terror attack video. Straight up legend AF.
Never thought I'd see the day Simon would be sponsored by a banana hammock, but here we are.
The Madlad finally did it
If I ever randomly come across Simon and he asks me who i am I'm just gonna respond with "I'm a legend"
Edit: The World's Best Terrorist Attacks - Business Blaze
This is just fantastic
I concur
Hey Simon, Aussie with a degree in history here. Given that newspapers were mostly consumed by the middle and upper classes in our colonial history, it was not given a common slang term. We also just call it a "Newsagent's".
Although, by the 20th century you could grab a paper from the Servo, the Bottlo, the IGA, some supermarkets, or just nick one from the Macca's down the road.
Being a Millennial and conscious of all that wasted paper, I prefer to bulk-download newspapers from the internet and reupload them for free.
James Tiberius Kirk (That's the only thing I could think of when you mentioned the city name in Israel)
That's because it's named for the same person.
Mougadishu has been listed as the most dangerous city on earth for years. Thet would make an excellent toptenz , reasons not to visit.
He actually did a top 10 most dangerous countries a few years ago and Somalia surprisingly didn't make the list.
Funny thing is flying out of LAX they didn't search my wheelchair really at all... I could have snuck just about any contraband onto the the plane if I would have chosen to... It is kinda scary at times, meanwhile they seem to really oversearch others and it doesn't really help that much.
I usually fast forward sponsored part. But Simon got me in "I'll tell you why it's called"sheath".
Absolutely love this channel 😂😂
I feel like this week has been filled with blazing! Its been wonderful!