5 Minute Therapy Tips - Episode 02: Grief
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2017
- Grief is a tricky emotion. Often when someone is feeling an uncomfortable emotion, they can often think of opposite emotions as being the solution to their discomfort. For example, someone sad may think "I can be happy". There's a clear target. If you're angry, you can think about being calm. But when someone is grieving, the target isn't clear. We can think about grief as being an arrow with no target. There's an energy there that needs to be dispersed, but it's not clear where that energy should go.
We are excited to share with you our new UA-cam series which will explore topics such as Client Problems, Professional Issues, Clinical Concerns, and Methodology with new episodes every Friday!
with Jeff Zeig, PhD
Presented by:
The Milton H. Erickson Foundation
www.erickson-foundation.org
Sponsored by:
Evolution of Psychotherapy 2017
December 13-17, 2017
www.evolutionofpsychotherapy.com
Images:
Andreas Steiner
www.mastersofpsychotherapy.de
Music:
www.bensound.com
R R R - for general and specific factors in grief counseling!
Regrets - Why did not I say "I Love you" enough?
Resentments - I resent you did not show up for my graduation!
Appreciation - Appreciate the time we spent to grow together
What an awesome tip. Thanks.
As a MSW Student Intern, this series is like finding " The Mental Health City of Gold"..smile. It has provided a great source of information and insight.
I’m watching this vid in October 2020, observing how the death toll grows and thinking that more and more of us will need to deal with the loss of a loved person.
Do you think this added to why so many people got more anxious, even if they didn't lose anybody themselves?
Just lost my grandmother, glad I found this video
Thanks for such an excellent series Jeff. Really enjoying it.
This was truly helpful and I really appreciate the tips. Thank you so much.
Thanks for sharing your experiences
Thank you, this handy technique is a gift to add to the repertoire that each of us, as professionals, can consider in our work to reach out to others. YOur way of reaching out is much appreciated and will enhance many lives.
This was SO helpful. Thank you.
As a lay person who just lost her husband, this is extremely helpful. Thank you so much!
Sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing well now
I loved this video so much. know that it will be a fantastic resource in my sessions with clients and in my own life. Rituals are so important. Thank you so much again.
Thank you Jeff. I find that at this stage of life...mid 60s, there have been many losses and they keep coming...I think I do loss well, as do most of the people in my family...and I would have to say, this period of life is giving me a challenge in the managing of grief around a long list of losses...Ummm...makes for being a good therapist...but I am not sure I like the scars on my soul so much...perhaps I will have to work on rituals for this later life experience...
Thank you for sharing this! Adding to my toolbox for clients!
Wonderful video. Thank you, Jeff. Greetings and a subscriber from Sweden
thank you
This is great
Thank you 🙏
I'm not watching this because I'm trying to get into psychology, I'm watching this as someone that's been grieving inappropriately for years. when he talked about regrets I almost immediately bursted into tears and a "FFFFWhhoaaaa..." came out as I fought it back because it made me instantly think of something I wanted to ridicule them for: not fulfilling their promise of traveling the world with me. not staying with me to get fit like we planned. not saying good bye or good luck. one day they were here, being one of my favorite people in life (of which I don't have many), next thing I know I'm about to leave for work and I get the call. they're just kind of gone now. all plans off, all promises broken.
I might focus on these things next time I go cry in my car.
I lost ml y mother September 25th just over a mo ago and my sister 2 yrs ago I'm feeling lost and alone, in a dark place😥
Sorry for your loss and sending you love 💕
Sending light & blessings
I am so sorry. I can never understand your loss because it is individual and intense but I can empathize with you around it and I do. This may not help now but perhaps it will later. When you feel something the reality of the circumstance is amplified but just because you feel something doesn't mean it's true. You absolutely objectively feel alone and have every reason for the feeling with no need to explain or justify it but you are not alone. I and many others are walking the path with you. We do not walk in exactly the same way but we walk together. For me, I walk with God and He walks with me. I pray you sense his gentle, loving empathetic presence. May the souls of your
departed ones rest in peace that you may share it with them.
@@baxtercol ❤
You are not alone. ❤️🕊️
I can’t understand what’s the 3rd R?
How can the 3 R's be Resentment Regrets & Appreciation?. Very useful though...x
luv it
very good congratulation
3Rs - Regrets, Resentment, Rituals (Appreciation). Is Ritual the 3rd R?
It sounded like he said Appreciations as the 3rd "R"... It wouldn't be RRR then though, I've just tried to catch what he said over and over. Let me know if you got it.
Maybe, Re-Appreciation?
This was great information. I am looking into specializing in grief/loss, and if anyone has any helpful trainings/resources, please let me know! Thank you!
Following
Thankyou,I’m not a professional,just someone who lost her mam 10wks ago.We always lived together & Im consumed with grief although I have always suffered anxiety/panic previous to mam dying .I did a ritual I cut a lock of my hair & placed it under an ornament on my mam grave.I don’t think it worked but I’m glad I did it.The thing is I’ve never been well physically since Mam passes & the anxiety is getting worse,,I just miss her so terribly,the pain is something I could never imagine.I am English & we don’t get therapists unless we are a danger to ourselves so I’m turning to UA-cam to talk about my feelings but I think from what I’ve seen there’s nothing to help really.
Jane Burke
Sorry to hear that🙁I lost my mom when I was a 17-year-old girl, many years ago. I can feel your pain🕯🍃🌹🍃🕯
Praying for you
My mom is dying now. She could last a few days. My chest keeps feeling like it’s sooo full of heart that it’s cutting of my airways. I panic when that feeling hits which seems to be most of my day. Please help me. I want to appear cool and collected.
Hello! How are you doing now? I hope you are better. If you would still like a listening ear I volunteer !! I’ll leave my mail Id for contact if you respond.
@@brijithixxx1388 I know that the world has their advice on how to cope with the loss of a loved one and it may be a comfort temporarily, but what most people do not realize or understand is that true, deep down peace and comfort can only come from knowing Jesus Christ. I am sharing my best friend's testimony with the world with the prayer that many will come to find this true peace in their suffering. God bless you.
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to:
facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/
🦋
I'm having to grieve the mother I will never get since I'm shunned. I think I will drop the stone in a river.
What is the opposite emotion for "dead"
It reminds me of the lines in the poem: "I shot an arrow into the air, I didn't know where it would land..."
My brother, who hunts with a crossbow sometimes, thinks it's a dumb line. Well, it's by a woman poet who lived in the 1800's, when women didn't hunt.
Ours is impossible to ever "get through" because secondary garbage related to what happened never stops popping up like the heads of the Hydra. We chop down one monstrosity & TWO MORE pop up in the place where the one was.
I think it's rude for people to stage protests, in relation to the people who committed a capital murder on our loved one (and 2,988 others), and publicly show how DA,MNED UPSET they are at the idea of these 5 people getting capital sentencing while showing NOTHING of how they feel about what happened to OUR loved ones. Their big "crime," for which the murderers sentenced them to death, was going to work while being American. Or taking a plane ride while being American.
Eric L. Bennett
10/17/71-9/11/01
I can't change it but I can empathize with you and affirm your sentiments and your expression of them. Sometimes Justice isn't just. I am sorry for you and for 9/11 for all its pain and grief and loss. We will never forget.
You mentioned the lady having a delayed grief reaction years after the loss. Why might that happen?
His s sounds are vicious!!!
Erica Helton YES! 😖
I hear you...I have to go can't take it even the dog is looking at what the high pitched whistling on the 's' is...which is such a shame because the content sounds very good.
I'm studying treating anxiety at home and found a great resource at Kevs Control Plan (look it up on google)
Certified hypnotist
‘’R’ for appreciation??
Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.
Maybe positive Recognitions? Thanks Jeff. I’m utilizing Jizō stones for this on practice and personally.
Recognition (positive gifts and qualities)?
This is belittling grief. A rock? A missing birthday gift?
These things are totally irrelevant when your whole life is suddenly impacted by losing a person integral to your happiness. Trivial things aren’t a replacement.
Yo hes "spsing" loud asf
I'm sorry, I don't understand why the rock in a NEIGHBOR'S yard?????????