I'm 23 years old and almost out of nowhere my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (she is currently 56) and maybe has another 3 years left. For context, my parents got divorced a few years back under pretty traumatic circumstances and my dad is no longer in my life. I also have no siblings. My mum is functionally my entire family and I'm getting mentally prepared to be truly alone in this world in my mid twenties. Needed this sort of content. Thank you.
@@rimbusjift7575 It's not a few, it's many. Most people i meet in life are generally kindhearted despite the majority view on this imo. @Gio I'm a little older than you are but basically in the same situation as you. I'm not saying i have the answers moving forward because i don't, and i feel definitely scared about the prospect of 'being alone' in this world. Maybe moreso about this than anything else. I hope both of us will find our way in that journey, and will be able to fill it with plenty of love and meaning.
@Gio crolla I’m so sorry to hear that. I was in the same situation with you fresh out of high school. What i think helped the most was that our family got together to take care of her day by day. Her siblings loved her very much and we were each other’s emotional support throughout that period. It can be a challenging time. I hope you keep a good spirit and also allow yourself space to feel all that you are going through.
I’ve never had someone describe grief so perfectly, the way she says the world moves on when yours has stopped.. the thoughts and the feelings and all of it. Never had someone just say it so perfectly. Thank you.
Agreed. This is what struck me the most when my husband died of cancer. How other people just got on with their lives as though an entire world hadn't just collapsed. Because for them, it hadn't. For me, that collapse completely separated me from everybody else. Though I had plenty of family and friends trying to comfort me, none of them could understand what I was going through. And truth be told, they didn't really want to understand, because it was too painful to contemplate. This is why people generally avoid talking about the deceased to the bereaved; it's not a fear of upsetting the grieving person, but of upsetting themselves by being forced to contemplate this kind of loss and pain. That's why the rare friend who will bring up my late husband's name and dive into that black hole of grief with me is a true treasure.
See weird enough I’ve used your ASMR videos to help me sleep for a long time now. Idk if it’s grief or whatever but I can never sleep on my own and doing what you do helps millions of people around the world so thank you.
@@BellaBarossa Beautifully said, and I agree, people keep on living and go on with their lives, but I can't, and now I see all the bad in the world and it overwhelms me and I just want to be done with everything. Life seems to be nothing but suffering and pain, at least it clearly outweighs the good
@@xlReap64 I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. It is all too easy, when you are in the depths of grief and despair, to focus on all the bad in the world, and yes, it will overwhelm you. You can take my advice or leave it, but please consider giving yourself a break from social media, and media in general for a while. Take yourself away from negative influences, if you possibly can, and try to focus on things that may seem trivial, but are in fact positive and healing: sunsets, mountains, oceans, forests, the night sky. I promise you this will help to reset your perspective over a surprisingly short amount of time. Focus on yourself and what is immediately around you, rather than what is happening in the world. You can't control what is happening in the world, but you can control what you prioritise in your own life. Visit a dog park and watch the interactions between dogs and their people. The pure joy experienced by the dogs in investigating their surroundings, other dogs and other people, and the unconditional love they display to their owners. I promise you that you'll begin to see that your life is important and can be beautiful if you can separate it from the world's wider problems, and narrow down the scope of your life to just *your* life, and to doing what makes you happy. We only get one chance at this life, and you will never know what positive things can be around the corner if you don't let yourself keep going. It has been 7 years since I lost the love of my life. Trust me when I say I've been to dark places since then, but I have come out of them a stronger and more resilient person. You can do this, too, and I promise it is worth it. I wish you well in your personal journey, and hope sincerely that you will find joy gradually returning to your life. ❤
I lost my wife last year. She was only 41, and it was sudden. The hardest thing for weeks was knowing I woke up one morning and she was fine, and not a few hours later, she was gone with no warning at all. Even these days I still see the face of the woman who smiled and could just give me a look that told me she wanted a kiss, and then the face I am grateful my son never saw. About the arts, and how they help us deal, and find a path forward, I completely agree. I'm an indie grimdark author. My wife used to listen to me read every chapter to her after I finished one. She was always my first reader. She would get so excited and tell me "My book! You're just the one writing it." I would always laugh and agree because it always sounded so adorable. It would make me inwardly swoon. So, I keep writing, believing she's watching every word I pen down, because she didn't want spoilers. I laugh when I imagine her telling Supreme beings and older spirits that she won't listen to them spoil the story, even if they do know what I'm doing. Part of her charm was how stubborn she was. But it really is my way forward.
My husband left our world a year ago, it was suddenly he was on his way to work and he crashed. we have been married for 15 years and have two children. the pain is indescribable and just like Michelle says I need to rebuild myself. it is painful
I lost my wife to cancer. It's been 2 years and It's still so painful. You described it perfectly: suddenly feeling like I'm on a different planet, with everyone around me going on with life and me feeling invisible. I will try letting the pain happen...Thank you for this video.
Feel that pain. It's part of what's left of her. It'll never get better but it gets easier. That hole will never be whole but you'll learn how to live with it.
Yeah and then most of you widows find another human to have s’x with. Which is weird because you can’t have 2 people in your heart as soulmates. But of course there are still people who still are loyal to their soulmate even after death, only having that soulmate in their heart which is so romantic and sweet! You don’t need another human to live with, you can literally hang out with friends or adopt animals or start volunteering work etc. Instead of cheating on your late soulmate, because you can only have 1 person in your heart. You can only love(romantic love) 1 person.
@@truehappiness4U human beings need companionship. It is not negating the love of one person to then love another, perhaps in a different way. We are physical beings until we are not.
I lost my husband 6 years ago to cancer. I thought I had died. I wanted to crawl into a corner and do nothing, see anyone, go anywhere, do nothing but cry. It does get better with time. You'll think about the great times you had together and less and less about what you lost. There is a life after a spouses death, but it does take time. Let yourself cry whenever the feeling comes to you. God bless you and your journey 🙏🙏
My first real bf, I met in college. We were each others first for so many things. We moved in together, he had a job lined up before graduation. As did I, im an RN. We felt so "grown up" and happy, always laughing. We lived together just over 4 months when he was killed in a car wreck on his way to work one Tuesday morning. I blamed myself. And had a lot of "what if" guilt. What if I stalled him by a few minutes then he might still be alive. What if I hugged him 1 extra time, what if I didnt hit snooze a few times, what if, what if.... I dont really remember much of that day. Bits and pieces. It felt like an out of body experience. As if, at any point, someone would say JUST KIDDING!! But no, it wasn't a joke. Then, bcuz we lived together, every regular daily task I did, I was reminded of him. I was having multi breakdowns over the days. His toothbrush, his razors, his clothes, his shoes, his hair stuff, his colognes. Seeing them every day was like ripping the band aid off all over again. What should I do with them. I can't toss them, they were his... He wasnt the love of my life but his loss made me realize how precious life is and to take NOTHING for granted. We told each other that we loved each other, those were the last words we spoke. Thats the memory I keep, as a reminder, of how great his presence was. This was almost 20 years ago. While it doesnt hurt as much, its still a pain. And I allow myself the ache, as its a reminder of one of the most magical times in my life 🙏🏼💖
Most beautiful thing I've ever read, you are stronger than you know and mad respect for you for this comment xxx ! I understand the feeling of the clothes, his things etc... I was like that when my Dad passed away.
I'm not sure if that grief ever goes away. Thank you for that beautiful romantic story. I'm struggling to find my way after the loss.... not sure I can describe it. Anywayz, I might know a little bit of how you feel. I'm just so grateful to not be alone in those feelings. I could never describe it....
Loving someone that deeply is being aware that it will only ever end in heartbreak for both you. Either you die or divorce. Loving someone is knowing that you might be absolutely shattered as a person after they are gone-but choosing to love them anyway.
This is what I had with my fiancé. Well no have still. He passed away 6 weeks after we had our first child. If it wasn’t for having a piece of him I really don’t know how I’d get up and do anything each day. I had a dream about him that we were riding in a car talking and I remember the conversation so vividly like it was actually real, like it really happened and woke up in so much pain the moment I realized what my reality is now. I’ve never had someone I was so close with. It literally was like we were 2 halves of the same person. But even knowing what I know now I’d still go back in time and do it all over with him again.
@@pauldirc.. each day is a struggle it’s still super fresh and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. No matter how many times people say time heals all wounds I just think it’s a wound that’ll always be there I’ll just have to learn to adapt to the change of him now being here.
@@DanoodledoodleI lost my fiancé 4 weeks before I gave birth. She is a week old now. The pain I feel is unbearable. But it was bound to happen at some point in life. I just never thought so soon.
I lost my husband 31 days back..i m 30..he was 30..he was doctor..we Don't have kid..he committed suicide suffering from depression.. We were married for 1yr 5 months and was in relationship for 9 years.. Each day is more challenging now..i can't live without him..i am craving for his touch for his presence.. My entire world is shattered..
@ I’m so sorry you lost your soulmate. I would give anything to kiss my wife again. Life seems so dull and empty now. But we have no choice but to care on. It’s been 5 months and I still cry at night thinking about her. Not looking forward to Christmas this year. She loved Christmas. Stay strong and know he is still with you.
My wife died a little more than a year ago from cancer. We were married for 22 years. I really like the analogy of the broken vase with the gold fillings - the vase will never be the same and there is a beauty to it. And yet anyone looking at it will know that it was never intended to be built that way. Friends and family will always ask me to move on, well, I will move on, but what they don't know is that there are some parts of me that enjoy the grief and don't want to move on. The other day I had a dream. I was walking around in the kitchen at home and noticed a room that doesn't exist (at that point I knew I was lucid dreaming). She was standing inside looking at me, the chubby version before the cancer took all the chubbiness away. I asked her what are you doing there, and she didn't say a thing, just gave me a shrug. I went on over to hug her for as long as I could. Hope to see you again soon.
wow if your dream wasn't an analogy for that broken vase put back together again with gold - I don't know what is! She is there - within your grief, within all the spaces that remain after you were torn apart. Within your love for her and the joy you felt when she was with you. A friend of mine told me that in some cultures, having a dream of a loved one who has passed visiting you was auspicious if they didn't speak in it. It means they are in peace wherever they are now.
This made me tear up. So so beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sending prayers for your reunion - whether it’s within sweet dreams like the one you described, or within some other realm ❤️
"...some parts of me that enjoy the grief and don't want to move on." That's a very poignant statement, and at the same time it's very much the raw truth many won't admit.
My soulmate passed away 5 weeks ago in her sleep. She was my love and my life. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly. I can’t even express the emotions I feel and no one will truly understand as they do not have any idea the love she had for me and me of her. She was my rock, and she knew everything about me, my whole life and I knew her life. That was built over time and can never be replaced. I miss her so much and the hurt gets stronger each day.
I'm sorry for your loss. One thing that helps me is remembering that having that level of love doesn't die... and it's something many will never experience. The grief has had it's own cycle, changing constantly, hours, days, weeks, months. My friend said, "When you're heart breaks, it breaks open" and I try to let the grief take its course. I hope it will make sense some day and I wish the same for you.
May she rest in peace❤. How are you doing today a year later? My wife of 41 years passed a few weeks ago and I’m having trouble dealing with the loss of my soulmate❤
I lost my bride after a 15 year fight with cancer 2 months ago. I'm a tough old Vietnam vet but this has kicked my butt..the only way I can go forward is with the strength of Jesus.
So sorry for your loss. I too am with my high-school sweetheart and I'm 45, l can't imagine the pain you've felt. I know it will come to us all, that is inevitable. Thank you for sharing.
@@irishcountrygirl78 thank you for your kind words Tracy. This strangeness of death, this certainty, I'm not bothered by it, when she screamed for her mother as she died... It haunts my soul.
I lost my husband August 2019. I’m still not the same without him. I sleep on one side of the bed. I talk to him like he’s here. He was only 55. We were married for 35 years, together for 37 years. And I always feel bad when I accidentally call our son his name because he is the spitting image of his dad. It’s a heartbreak that never, ever goes away. 💔
I’m in South Carolina.And you? It’s like a tearing pain that you know will never heal! It’s now been a little over 4 years. I don’t burst into hysterical crying anymore but I’ll still feel that ache in my heart when I see or hear anything that reminds me of him/us! This is my worst time of year actually. He LOVED Autumn. Crisp, cool nights, Halloween, our local multi-region Fair, everything Autumn! Happy Autumnal Equinox! 🍁🌻🍎🍂
I lost my husband 9/11/23 .. I feel your pain ..we were together for 23 years .. he was my world .. I had no friends but him ..he was suffering from lung disease ...I just want to be with him. I am not myself. I am just existing. I want him back. This is so hard for me..being with someone day in and day out..24/7 ..and now they are not there. I am losing my mind.. I too , feel like I am on another planet, and others are going on with life.. I am sick . I love my husband..😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
@@nyobibanks253 So you just recently lost your husband. I know that this is incredibly hard to believe right now but it does get a little easier. Not the crying. That will be on a regular basis for about 2.5 to 3 years and then it begins to ease. It did for me. Now I only get teary eyed when I see or am reminded of a very happy memory of him, or something silly he said or did. Do try this this and it will help, I promise. Talk to him. You think he can’t hear you but he can. You also might try journaling. But definitely talk to him aloud. Tell him how much you love and miss him. Also, do not avoid favorite places you went together. It will hurt but helps the healing process. Restaurants, vacations spots, stores, etc. One day at a time. ❤️
I am truly truly sorry for your unimaginable loss. We can never be prepared for it. I lost my husband 15/4/20 after 52yrs of marriage. My soul was amputated and I am now only half of my former self. Life goes on around you and you wonder how it can. Am I the only wife who feels like a spare part at family gatherings??? I don’t really enjoy spending time with my three sons and their families much as I really do love them all very dearly. They have partners to talk to but I return home alone to an empty flat very sad with no one to tell how heartbroken I am. Sending a big hug to everyone who understands this. X
@@jenniferoram4458 I do understand you Jennifer! ❤️ All that I had was our one son so I do encourage you to try to spend time with your kids. Do you not have a close friend? I was lucky in the fact that I did and she moved from Nebraska to South Carolina to help me through it and be there for me. She would hug me when I would start crying and tell me everything would be ok and that I would get through it. My son was hurting as much as I was so he really didn’t know how to comfort me so he was glad that I had my bestie! ❤️ It’s such a difficult process to go through. You look in the mirror and think while looking at yourself “being a Widow does not suit you.” It slowly but surely does get a little easier. I promise. I never thought that I could get to a place where I could remember him and smile or even laugh at some silly thing he did but I did make it. Yes there are still tears, there is still heartache but I don’t feel that crushing, breaking heart like I did - I will get better! 🥰 All of you please take care and just come back to this post and comment if you need to vent, cry, express anger or if you simply want to talk about your loved one that you’ve lost!
A friend of mine is a funeral director. A common trend he finds is family and friends are very supportive in the few days after a loved one dies. However the day after the funeral you are on your own. There is little support for the post-funeral grieving process. Yet you are expected to move on as if the death never happened.
You are on your own , but I felt that was a journey I needed on my own after my partner of 21 years passed away suddenly she was only 43. I felt family and friends didn't bring it up as to not make me feel the pain , but of course you do always
That is so true. It is a lonely journey after the first month. After my wife died (married 22 years), I needed to handle the probate, close her bank accounts, handle the small business matters that she had hanging, arrange for care for my mother in law who had dementia etc. There wasn’t really anyone to share the burden with, and it didnt seem fair to share it anyone else anyway. So it was hard. In some ways, it was a lonely journey. But I kept her phone subscription, and some days, I will text her. And I will text myself back in the way that she will text. It gave me a bit of comfort 😊. And I read a little story that gave me a lot of comfort actually. It was about this heartbroken husband after the wife passed away, who realised it was for the better, because she wouldn’t need to feel the pain if he had died before her. So it was all for the better.
I still haven't gotten over my mother's passing and that was in 2020. Grieving during covid is a strange experience. Not being able to visit in hospital and then the unexpected death really did something to me. Like one day she was here and one day she was gone without a good bye. There's a quote I try to think of from Cicero "the life of the Dead is placed in the memory of the living"
💥❤💫 Always there for you ❤❤❤❤❤ WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY. BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
I lost my Dad in 2020 too from Covid, and being so young at 24 I already lost my Mum when I was 5 Years old, and only had my Dad left, I lived with him still as I didn't want to leave him alone being older and struggling. It was very strange, not being allowed to see them for long only allowed an hour, then when he died, I wasn't even allowed to see his open casket or he wasn't allowed to be dressed in his things, they could only lay his clothes ontop of him. We were only allowed 30 people at the Service, and the list is just endless, it was sure one of the hardest moment of my entire life. xxx I'm sorry to here you lost your Mother xxx
@@leoniejosette5145 I'm sorry the poor/misguided response to COVID by the powers that be cost you that time near the end of your dad's life. It happened to so many.
@@leoniejosette5145 With how many people there are in the world, I realize now that it isn't statistically improbable, but you're the first encounter I've seen who's had almost exactly the same situation as me, at around the same time. I've come to understand that you can't truly understand loss until you've experienced it, and this understanding is shared between everyone who has, whether it was their mother, father, sibling, child, friend, etc... I've read countless stories of grief to help me understand my own, but as mentioned, this is the first time I've come upon someone else in their 20's, who lost their father during COVID, and has felt the special kinds of fears that comes with that particular situation (not saying that they're greater or lesser than anyone else's feelings, they just resonate more deeply to me because it's so close to my own situation). Now I wonder many others there are, but I take no solace in the fact that there are probably more than us two. I am so sorry for your loss, and for everyone else's here, and I hope that you will be able to find the way forward. I know I have felt genuinely happy since my father passed, I'm wishing everybody the same.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Michelle. I’m 80 now and have lost many friends and loved ones. It does get easier, less painful. But you never forget them.
I meet someone who was 95 and he said life sucks because everyone except him died. In the first moment I thought it's funny because he get such a long life many dream of but at least I realised that he is 95 and not like a 20 yrs old going out and be wild and meet new people.. I also realised that this human waiting now for his end and has enough of life. Even his kids died before him and he buried them. Damn that's so sad wow.
thank you for this - i lost my father in november and my mother followed him just last month. i don’t feel as much pain this time and i was wondering if that meant something. i think it’s just easier after the first time.
@@rubyj7647 Very sorry for your losses. Feeling a little less pain this time might be that you feel it is "right" that they are together again. Just a thought.
I lost my wife my best friend of 48 years, last month (Nov 17th 2023) the pain I feel right at this moment has been the same since her passing, I'm constantly wanting to join her, so we can be reunited again.
Same here. My husband of 45 years died on July 15,2023. It seems to be getting harder as each day passes. I want to die too so I can see him again and have this awful pain behind me forever. This world is not a fun place. It’s hard.
Lost my beloved husband of 40 years almost 10 years ago. The pain I felt was so enormous I didn’t understand how I could be in so much pain and still be alive. I went to private grief therapy and 2 bereavement support groups. I read books and articles on grief. I learned to meditate. I got weekly massages and acupuncture. I tried anti-depressants. I wrote in my journal. I walked and cried daily. I have come a long way but grief never ends.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
The analogy she made between rebuilding life after major loss and putting together the shards of a broken vase with inlaid gold to create an, arguably even more beautiful vase, this analogy was simply beautiful. I'll remember that.
My mother received a diagnosis of stage IV pancreatic cancer in 2019, and passed within a month at 59. It was hard to accept that I had lost my mom. But it was harder still to accept that my father had lost his soulmate, and that he would have to live out the rest of his life and grow old without her. I am terrified of losing my own partner in such a way, terrified of facing the truth that one of us has to die first. It is my worst nightmare, and to think of my dad living through it was absolutely torturous. When I tried to express this to him, he said something that changed me, and allowed me to approach my fear of loss from a different angle. He said "It is an honor to grieve for your mother. It means that I love her."
My husband died from cancer when we were 45 years old. It took 15 months before I felt I might actually survive this tragedy. The pain was unbearable, unbelievable. More than a decade later I'm still not okay, I just exist in a different life.
@@luciepepe1322 oh I'm so very sorry. I wish I could say something that would help the pain for you. But I know there aren't really any words. Just don't give up
@@awifeinterrupted , thank you. I am so very sorry for you and your husband. I do not think that there is anything that can help. That said, I replied to your comment hoping it could help you to know that you are not alone in your experience. Do not give up either. I wish you all the best.
I lost my husband in July 2020 in the most sudden way. It was in the middle of the covid shutdown, we were watching tv in our livingroom and when I looked at him his eyes were rolled bacwards and his hands were in a very awkward position and that was it. My son did cpr to him until the ambulance arrived but he was no longer alive. Why? I don't know. My life ended that very moment. We were making plans for the next morning and within a few hours my children and I were burying him, all alone at the cemetery. Reading about the universe and its mysteries and watching documentaries has helped me through this process. May all of us be able to find peace.
Sorry for your loss Michelle. I've been there. Lost my wife in 18 days due to cancer. What you say is a sublime way to honor your relationship with your late husband, and to honor life, and respect death. We all love you and wish you the best
My wife died of cancer almost 5 years ago now. Bereavement has been very real. Today I had a bad day at work and I feel guilty or wrong somehow for feeling bad that I can’t come home and talk to her about my stupid day at work. I think you hired me for a pedicab ride in NYC years ago, you helped me understand the expanding universe. I’m sorry for your loss.
I've been a nurse for 11 years, half of that was in Oncology/ Med-Surg, and the other half has been in the ICU. I struggled throughout that time to find peace within myself. Seeing so much sadness and pain on a regular basis... I didn't know what to do with all of it. I found solace in science. Learning about the universe and wondering how us as human beings fit into such a large scale, that's what kept me going through the darkest times. It touched me very deeply when I learned what she went through with her husband. It reminded me that what I do as a nurse matters, even if at times I feel very jaded about my career. The patients and families that come into the ICU are in what is probably the scariest time in their life, and I am there to take care of them. I may not always have the right answer, or know the perfect thing to say, but I can make sure they know, I am there for them. Now I'm in my third semester of pursuing astrophysics because these topics are what got me through those dark times in nursing.
I never got to meet a nurse, or see my father in the hospital before he passed, because of COVID restrictions, but I realized as I talked with the mortician, and with my teachers to give me leniency, that how you're treated during this hard time is *so* important. Thank you, for being there, and the kindness and support you've leant to people in their roughest moment. I have nothing but respect for people like you, and I'm glad you've realized the importance of what you do on your own. I don't want *anyone* to be taken for granted.
I lost my beautiful daughter last april, it will be a year soon. I miss her every day, i am in pain and the grief is heavy. I see other people around me living their lives and i think how unfair it is that my only grandchild has no mother! Part of me died that day, i dont think the pain will ever go away. 😢
If you interested in astrophysics you should see and observe that our Universe had to be created by Someone because everything is perfect, including our planet Earth. This Person who has created our Universe is God . God has creared you as a person who has an immortal soul and when you will die you will see God face to face. Please, read a book : " Heaven is for real ". In your darkness days you may pray to God . Stay Blessed !
Just wanted to say Thankyou for being there for people during their struggles and know that it makes a big difference to us. The kindness and empathy of the nurses made it so much easier to deal with my wife battling and losing to cancer. You really are a special group of people.
Thank you for this. I lost my son to cardiomyopathy when he was 36. Two years later I’m dealing with intense grief again. My husband died of brain cancer just 6 months ago. We’d been together since we were teenagers, half a century. I don’t belong in this world. I, too, lost my life. Before my husband died I told him I wanted to grab onto his hand and go with him. I couldn’t imagine not being a part of each other anymore. Intense love will someday mean intense grief, always, for someone. We are never prepared to start this life over.
I pray and trust that you all will find each other again. It makes me happy to know that you have spent so much time together, successfully forming a family and sharing life with one another for such a long time. That sounds so beautiful. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you the very best, and may hope find you again. May all of you come together again. Much love.
I could have written this exact line: "I don't belong in this world. I, too, lost my life." I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, the way I am.
Mom and Dad were 14 years apart, dad spent his last 41 days in the hospital he turned 81 in there, mom went down hill fast after he passed away she passed about 7 years later I moved her In with me after a few years and took care of her till the end 💓I couldn't have asked for better parents i will miss them till I'm done 💞
I lost my wife five months ago (April 25) also to cancer. We've been together for almost a quarter of a century. We were blessed with three boys and two girls. But I would like to believe that she could still read this comment of mine, and that somewhere in this vast, beautiful universe, she could read this comment of mine. Thank you so much for this video. It gave me a fresh perspective to life and death.
" "Things are not determined. There's no more a guarantee that I'm going to live a life of misery than there is a guarantee that I'll find love again." Thank you so very much, Michelle. I've been in this grief/hell for a year and six months now, and I have scoured the internet and every book I've been able to find, searching for how to live in this state of despair without losing my mind. Your words have given me more hope than anything I've come across, and believe me when I say I have looked a lot. Blessings to you, may you find true happiness soon.
I lost my dad last year in April. He was only 52. He had a hemorrhagic stroke. The sense of doom… immense doom I would feel every morning realizing that my dad was no longer here was crippling. Lord help all of us going through grief 🙏🏼 I’ll always love you dad
I lost my dad last year in March. I've never heard anyone mention doom feelings before. I would feel this deep panic and waves of anxiety light me up when I remembered he wasn't on the planet. I still do sometimes. When many of us lose a parent I think our body is telling us something is deeply wrong because our safety net is no longer there. Thanks for writing your comment and I hope you can find some relief.
Hi Caroline! Im so sorry for your loss. It has probably been really hard for you since we are in March again… knowing a year has already passed us by. I still feel it sometimes too. I’ve been feeling it again lately. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year without seeing their smile, talking to them, giving them a hug… sending a hug to you!
@@RxxxQueen When my mother passed in January I had weeks of immense anxiety. I still do. I understand the feeling of doom. It's like we're still 8 again and need our parents to fix something, but we're realizing we have to fix it ourselves.
I read this with tears in my eyes. Its 7 months now since my husband passed. I remember that morning call from the doctor in a hospital in plano Texas while am in Africa. It was about hemorrhagic stroke.. It's painful. Continue resting my love. Am forever greatful fir the moments we shared.♥️
I lost my wife July 19 2021… suddenly, from an aneurism…she was gone in 20 minutes..I’ve been taught many things by you over the years…I never realized this talk would be the most impactful …thank you…
It is really hard isn't it? I lost my partner from cancer a 20 years ago. It was the worst. I took medication, had talking therapy. and I created a whole new chapter of my life, new hobbies, friends.... I knew time would help so I distracted myself but I did keep a way from people as I knew I would just be difficult to be with it. Time for me helped a lot, and I just try to keep busy. I have a new life... and new experiences and my partner would love me to be happy
@@courtneycoley8487 I'm terribly sorry to hear that Courtney. Mine died July 2018. Your loss is very recent, it does ease with time but I won't lie, the first year is wicked. Hang in there, and it helped me to frame it as, I was lucky to have had such a love. A lot of people have nothing but disappointment and heartache. I got lucky, met a man in a million, and I really had something to grieve. X
I have been a fan of Michelle Thaller as a science communicator for quite some time, but the lessons about love and grief in this genuine and vulnerable piece takes that fandom to a whole new level. THANK YOU, Dr Thaller for your willingness to share your story and the same to Big Think for producing it so gently and sensitively.
My mother died of cancer when I was 13 (I am 26 now). I remember seeing my dad in so much pain despite trying to hide it. Of course I was grieving since it was my mom, but I can’t imagine the pain he went through losing his wife, his love, his best friend. To this day, he hasn’t been in a relationship. I wish for you the very best. My condolences. You are amazingly strong.
My darling husband/carer died almost 6 months ago. Even as Christian’s, it is a great loss and the emptiness I feel is terrible. The hours are so long day and night without him. He was the love of my life,
You have faith and hope and I pray God will comfort you and provide for your needs. I am sorry for your loss ! Jesus knows what it is to suffer and have bitterest grief He will be close .
I pray God will comfort you and you will know you are not alone and we as Christians do know that one day all our tears will be wiped away. It is so hard to lose a beloved spouse and even more complicated when they are a carer too, as is my situation. Although I still have my hubby, I do battle the fear of wondering how I could cope without him but I know that would bring another test of faith and trust and that if I do not fear and stand on Gods promises He will come through for me.
Thank you for letting us feeling less lonely. I lost my soulmate half a year ago. Everything just went on, but my world has stopped the moment his heart stopped. He was just 38, we've had only 5 years together. The question, that always comes back to haunt me is just why..
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
I know I'm a stranger across the miles, but hope you can feel a hug, fwiw. I'm sorry for your loss. Since I've had 2 NDEs, I'm looking forward to being 'over there' - it's so much love - but not to the goodbyes that happen too soon. May angels of comfort find you.
@@mortalclown3812 for those of us who lost our soulmates, just tell us they are waiting for us if we just keep pushing through, because nothing else matters as much to us
Lost my wife coming up on 2 years ago. Even if I don’t agree with everything in the video. Thank you. Some comfort and positive things to try are better than none
I think my husband made sure to have this video find me. As I cried on my way home from dropping off my kids I said, Keith I cannot imagine the rest of my life without you, I will mourn you for the rest of my days. He will be gone one full year March 16th. Grief takes hold of you by the jugular and has no mercy. The 28th would have been our 20th anniversary.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?,.
I lost my partner of 18 years last November. Today would have been the 19th anniversary of our first in person meeting. This was so poignant. Thank you Michelle Thaler. Carrie and I always loved watching you on so many documentaries. I'm so sorry you've lost your soulmate as well. 💔😔
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
I've watched her so often showing such joy at the Space Program and it's achievements. I hadn't heard that she'd lost her husband. Thank you, Michelle for sharing this beautiful message with us.
Oh dear. How relatable this is. I am sending everyone SO much love, comfort, and peace if you are grieving. Grief is such a tricky, beautiful, horrible b*tch! It's crazy that I will be 40 this year and will have been widowed for 7 years. My husband died at age 35 by a freak accident. We never know how much time we have, let alone how much time we have with our loved ones. I'm learning grief changes and evolves with you but that the pain never really goes away. For me it lies silent for moments and then dunks me under water again, and crashes me out of the waves of grief and back onto shore.
I just lost my Billy to heart failure. Ive been feeling so lost. Thank you for sharing your story. Hearing these things from a perspective of a scientific matter, its very comforting. Thank you. I really really needed this right now.
My husband of 42 years passed in December….. I’ve been sad, angry, depressed…. Just so tired. Thank you so much for your message…. I have hope that I can learn to live with this grief, and move on with the next chapter of my life.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you. I lost my soulmate in 2005 and it took me 6 years before I could talk about it and begin to feel the healing. It’s now been 19 years and I still deeply feel the loss everyday. Especially the month of her death. Thank you for sharing your story. Much ❤
As someone who is going through the same emotions and feelings as Michelle, I can totally relate. It's been over a decade, and I'm still not over it. You don't actually go out of the darkness, you just adapt and learn to live in it and find your way forward. Thank you for the video. I hope Michelle finds solace in her own way.
So true, somehow we have been made believe by other people (in a good intention) that everything will be fine and the pain will go away with time, but unfortunately it won't, there's always this bitterness that is left at the bottom.
💥❤💫WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY. BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
I'm an incredibly spiritual person and I strongly believe nobody really dies. I think we just leave our bodies behind. I recently lost my love and I gave myself 3 weeks to be completely broken, that's all. The knowledge he left me with and the lessons I learned can never be exchanged for a million years on this planet. I know one day it'll be my turn. I wouldn't want a single person to shed tears for longer than 3 days. Life has been good and I'm patiently waiting for what comes after it. Thank you for sharing your story.
Such profound grieve knowing I can’t see,feel, touch and smell him.. There is a huge void and after 22 months it hasn’t got easier. I want to believe he’s here with me as he was my protector, he was the one. It is a lonely existence .. as my heart has shattered.
This is a touching video. Thank you for sharing it with the world. My wife of 25 years passed away 5 months ago from gallbladder cancer. After we got the news of stage 4 cancer, she passed a month later. It came quickly, and she was only 52. Hearing your story gives me hope that I can get through this painful grief I experience every moment of the day. 💔😥
This is what grief is. A hole ripped through the very fabric of your being. The hole eventually heals along the jagged edges that remain. It may even shrink in size. But that hole will always be there. A piece of you always missing. For where there is deep grief, there was great love. Don’t be ashamed of your grief. Don’t judge it. Don’t suppress it. Don’t rush it. Rather, acknowledge it. Lean into it. Listen to it. Feel it. Sit with it. Sit with the pain. And remember the love. This is where the healing will begin.
I lost a younger sister to cancer, and lost my dad in a car wreck, and lost my mum to a stroke. Also being a musician, I've seen many of my musical idols pass away over the years. That feeling of struggling to see the point of it all, for me has been really hard if not impossible to get over. On the bright side, as an agnostic I feel like my profound interest in astronomy and cosmology is what gives me the will to keep trudging on. 🙏
I've had the same experience at age 26 and it is the hardest thing I've dealt with in my entire life. Losing the person you loved most and your soulmate left me empty for years. Every minute of this video is relatable and describes 100% exactly how I felt. She is so articulate.
I am watching this on the 3 anniversary of my father’s death. My mom just turned 85 and they celebrated their 60th anniversary a few months before he died. I am amazed with her courage. I am also newly diagnosed with cancer, waiting to find if it has spread. I’ve had wonderful conversations with my mom. Thank you for this video and much love from Gensac, France
It's been five years since I lost my wife and soulmate to cancer, I continue to grief and I expect that I will for the rest of my life, I love her now just as much as I always have. I am still deep in the cave of grief and looking for meaning, I love how Ms. Thaller puts it, this isn't my planet anymore, I strive to connect but sometimes I just give up, it's no use without her. Thank you for sharing and being so open Ms Thaller!
4 years since my partner died and I'm still in my cave too, on this strange planet. Visible but separate. Sending love from one human being in pain to another, even in the darkness.
@@MISSYGful Thank you for your kind words and sending love back to you. I hope you can find some comfort in those around you, it's the only thing that has kept me going.
I'm so sorry that you lost your husband Michelle. I lost mine too on 28/11/22. He had a massive stroke at home right in front of me and was dead within 2 minutes. I'm still in a state of shock. I didn't realize that grief hurts so much physically. The worst thing is not being able to discuss it with him. He was my best friend and we talked about everything...but I can't talk to him about anything anymore and that hurts. I talk to him all the time - I just don't get an answer. We met, he moved in and we got engaged all in a week after we met 22 years ago. For the last five years he was sliding into dementia which neither of us dealt with very well I'm grieving for two people - the love of my life (which is heartbreaking) and the man I lost bit by bit (which wracks me with guilt because I could have done that bit so much better). I cannot let the pain in too much or it will break me...but that's what you did? You're very brave. How long are you broken before you start to mend? Btw., Phil loved space/universe programmes and he always liked you so maybe it's fate that I'm pouring my heart out to you now.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
My soulmate and mother to my two daughters passed away in my arms 10 hours ago. She fought brain tumours for 33months. I needed to watch this in my numbness. May not help now, but maybe in the future.
I’m 58 and lost my 54 year old husband/soulmate of 26 years to cancer 4 months ago. My god, I’ve never heard someone speak to my experience the way you have. I spent a lot of time the first two weeks with my best friend because I didn’t want to be at home all day. After that I just stayed home and leaned into all of the gut-wrenching feelings. I guess I’m feeling “better” now but better isn’t really a good word. I feel like I had to hit bottom and get through all of that crushing pain before I could hope to live my life without Mick physically by my side. Ironically, many years ago he wrote and recorded a song called “Without You Now” (“I can’t think of my life without you by my side, I can’t think of my life without you now, without your love…”). It’s just unreal how every single facet of my life and being are affected by losing him. He was a gifted musician and a freakishly brilliant guy. I still can’t listen to his music yet but hopefully someday. 💙
@@evidentress1 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
💥❤💫 Hope this helps ❤❤❤❤ WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY. BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
I’m encouraged to realize I actually didn’t feel moved to tears by that very vulnerable and authentic share. I lost both parents very close together, just months before the pandemic struck. They were my best friends and what made life make sense. Of course I wasn’t aware of that before they left. The existential crisis one experiences almost immediately is disorienting. The realization of how much of what you thought of as yourself was really the parts where you and they intersected. It’s surprising. Then the understanding that now you get to discover what takes the place they once held. It will be ourselves, expanding into that space they left. The pain of separation and loss was excruciating for what seemed like what would be unending for the last three years. I’m just now feeling like life goes on. But sometimes it still feels like I’m free falling, and it sucks that I don’t get to share what is becoming my new life with them. Grief doesn’t go away, I think. It just changes and in a way, having this grief is part of that new life. Part of it is allowing that to be ok. It’s also about allowing the pain and letting it just be there. It no longer overwhelms me, and that’s, as I expressed above, encouraging.
I lost my mom technically 2 days after this video was uploaded. In fact, she'd been on oxygen for a whole week before. The morning of my birthday, January 27th, dad rushed her to the hospital due to an intense fever (she'd been having kidney failure, so she was easily infected) The next day, she fell into a coma, and was on oxygen. That whole week afterward, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never knew what was happening let alone imagining what would possibly happen, all I could do was praying and praying that my mom would be okay. But it was no use, and I never knew if she heard me when I said I love her for the last time. The decision to let her go was the hardest thing our family has ever done. I'm glad this video was recommended to me today, I mean, later than never.
I lost my son 5 years ago he was 5 months old. Heart defect. He should have lived. I lost my wife 2 months ago from stage 4 breast cancer. She was 41. All I have left is my 6 year old daughter. I am grateful even though I feel scorned by god that I have lost half of my immediate family. She fought and endured every chemo therapy till the last two weeks of hospice. Mainly for our daughters save. She traded quantity over quality for here. We were together 9 years and married 7. We never fought or cheated on each other. She was my soul mate. Day to day I don't feel depressed but I have quite a emptiness in my life. I keep myself busy and work and have hobbies. There are people out there that have lost all but themselves. My worst fear if of loosing my daughter now. Lord please keep her safe.
My husband died of a heart attack in front of me. This is exactly how I felt after. Totally disconnected from the world. Everyone’s life continued. Mine had stopped at that moment.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Powerful experience. I lost my mum to stage 4 lung cancer in 2020. I have no other family alive except my own kids. It feels debilitating to lose a loved one to cancer. You know they are going to die, you know it will be soon, there's nothing you can do... It's torturous and painful for the person experiencing the cancer and for those who love them.
50 years with my wife. She passed in 2019. She was the star of the show. Now, I watch the re-runs in my head, heart, and soul. Love never dies. I hope to see her again when my time comes. That would be Heaven for me.
I have not lost my soulmate, and I also have two children, though I can’t possibly correctly imagine what that would be like, there are brief moments where I imagine What If? And it’s the darkest place I ever peek into and immediately leave. And the most concerning aspect is that because I’m very analytical and logical, I have a hard time believing afterlife. I sometimes really wish I was deeply religious and sure that I will always see my loved ones in afterlife, but I can’t, I think life and universe is not fair and not designed to keep us around forever. I try to enjoy every second on this planet not only with my loved ones, but also with myself. Remember, as long as you are alive, everyone you love and ever loved are alive with you, this is the Universe way to keep us alive forever, through memory!!! Information is never destroyed!! Entropy persists!!!
💥❤💫 Hope this will help in better ❤❤❤❤❤ WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY. BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
Michelle Thaller is just excellent and is one of the great scientists and leaders of our time. Her honesty and authenticity have always impressed me. Even having seen the major scientific work she has been doing all her life and seeing her featured in big name documentaries, this video really moved me at a deep level. Grief is real but our culture shames it and denies it. If everyone learned how to grieve properly the world would be a better place. It's ok to say "I am crushed" and "I am devastated". Grief does not go away by denying it. Denial of grief causes depression and mental illness. The only cure is as Michelle says, to feel the emotions, to allow yourself to be crushed, and to process and release the emotions. This is the path to healing.
I'm 45, and my husband is 48. We don't have kids, which is actually no big deal. However, he is everything to me; my heart, my soul. He's not sick, but I can't help but dwell on this thought.
I get very fixated on the fear of people dying. One of the best bits of advice I read is to not mourn someone before they're gone or they might as well be dead already.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Michelle is a beautiful communicator. I knew her as a scientist, and now I know her as a human being. And yes, knowledge and understanding do provide you with the tools you need to keep going😊
This is fantastic. She described perfectly what I went through after my father died and I experienced devastating grief for the first time in my life. It took me years to be ok again. Thank you for this.
i wish there was a better button then just like. My wife didnt have cancer, but was just as ill, if not more so for 8 months. She passed away in my arms 3 weeks ago at the age of 39. The pain we share, tho different for each person is our common ground. Right now I dont see a path out of the pain... as you said so well "this pain is mine and part of who i am rebuilding myself to be". I too dont want to loose the pain, the greif, the sorrow... I will just learn how to deal with it. Thankyou for your story, in death there is good... in our case, its good to know we are not alone even if we feel like we are.
Yes, that is the most important thing to realize: that we're not alone, even if we don't know each other. Our pain and grief bind us to each other with common ground. After dealing with my grief for 6-1/2 years, I have found that the sharp edges have been rounded a bit, but I still miss him.
This video touched my soul for many reasons. My husband is the brightest light in my life, has been for almost 13 years. I can't begin to describe how much he brought, what he means to me so I won't. My greatest fear is losing him, not like growing apart or cheating, just death. I told him if I had one wish I would wish that I could die first, whatever that may mean for us (in 100 years or tomorrow). He is a great mind too, addicted to space, the universe, physics. I am about to give birth to our son in a month. I want to leave this video here for him in case anything bad happens to me. For some reason I feel sure that it would help him... And I feel more at ease with whatever comes. Thank you.
I feel EXACTLY the same as this. Wow. Im going to share this with mysoulmate too, whatever happens. They both sound so much alike too, its crazy. This comment resonated with me SO much, minus the married and kids part, but everything else, so on point. I hope you and I go first, in hopefully 80 years or sth. 🙏🏼🌌✨
Blessings on your upcoming birth. I feel the same way about my husband of ten years. We met later on in life and he is my soulmate. I love him more than life itself. I can't imagine going on without him. I think the grief would be the death of me. How do you even keep breathing?
I agree and have been through this too. Before I could begin to move forward I had to settle in the stationary moments that became days and then months of grief. Losing my wife of 38 years, sitting alone in what was our life, our home where we raised four children. Eventually everyone leaves, the last car exits the driveway and the night comes. I sat, I embraced the loss, fully. I did consider all options - all options, but one day I had a thought, a smile. It was not a trade, I did not surrender a thought of Gwen to capture a thought of the future but allowed myself to have a hope - even if for just a moment - a flash in the pan that there is more life to be lived. I don't know if you remember me but I do remember you, it was a simple message of encouragement - thank you for that. I wish you many happy days, be well.
This is one of the most beautiful, eloquent, and touching descriptions of the grief one feels over the loss of a loved one. I feel every word of her words within my bones, because I've passed through the same process. The huge void left by the deceased is always there and you need to be always vigilant to not fall into the trap of despair.
Age 41 my husband passed away. Unexpectedly so there was no preparation (not that it makes it any easier as two years later we had warning of my dad’s cancer and knew he was going to pass) It will be 6 years next month, the following month we would be celebrating 25 years married & 30 years together. I’m finally coming out the other side of grief. 6 years after losing my husband & 4 years after losing my dad. There is light again, I’ve learned to love myself enough to carry on, not only for myself but for my children and grandchildren. Sending love to all who are in those early days of grieving. The time doesn’t heal the hurt but gives you the tools to learn how best to cope with that hurt. ❤
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I lost my mum (cancer) at the end of February and my husband (heart) 3 weeks ago totally unexpected, he just went in front of my eyes. I have to go on but the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now. Thanks for this video. Every thing helps.
I keep coming back to this video every few days. Knowing that somewhere in time, my wife is waiting for me to reach her, comforts me. Its the excitement of knowing that when I turn a corner, I will see her there standing, waiting.
Understanding that our mental, physical, emotional, and sexual health are ALL connected. Grief is such a journey. Having empathy and sympathy is incredible, first for yourself and then for others.
I lost my wife of 44 years seven months ago. You expressed in words what I could not articulate. I’m both sorry for your enormous loss and at the same time, I’m glad for the depth of your relationship, for they really are two sides of the same coin. Thank you for your insights. They are a great comfort.
My dear husband left our world also at the age of 44, in a trafic accident, I can't enough describe the pain and void inside me. We have 2 kids 11 and 7 years
@@Meyaal I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I lost my dad, who was like a true best friend, in late 2020 to covid. I was 22, and he was only 56. It was so SO traumatic to see people not take the illness seriously and I really did feel like I was on another planet while everyone else goes on. I liked the part about not losing your grief and instead weaving the pain and sadness into who you are now. I am to the point where I can talk or think about it calmly and it terrifies me that something so horrible and traumatizing doesn't feel as raw and fresh anymore. I know my dad wouldn't want me to be miserable forever, but it still makes me feel weirdly guilty. Anyway, that is a nice way to describe the natural process of working through it over years
it's a surreal experience, like the world has changed fundamentally but no one else has noticed except you, you feel guilty for things that don't make sense to feel guilty about, it's like a fault slipped and the layout of the ground around you is in a different layout but everywhere you look everything is in the same place as it was before, but you really feel like every time you step around a corner that you'll see that change but it's never there and you go on feeling like that change is still around the next corner you'll step around
My last boyfriend was robbed and murdered two days before my birthday. For context I was turning 19, and he was only 20. That was almost 3 years ago and to this day I love him and try to be strong. It’s really hard bc no one I’ve spoken to can really relate to that pain, especially at such a young age. Nothing has been the same since then. I just hope I can continue to heal and learn to love again.
@@paranoidwaffles880 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
my partner of 20 years died of a heart attack 3 weeks ago, right in our bed--if you were in the next room listening to us you would swear you were listening to 4 year olds, we were so playful, sweet, and adorable---and now it's just me--i don't know who or why I am right now---
I'm sorry to know that. The period of grief of the average person lasts for about 2 years. After that, you should feel better, because you will get used to the absence of your partner. Note that the period of grief is affected by your life style as well, so try to hang out with your friends more, interact with other people. Maybe try finding a girlfriend.
see joseph selbie the physics of god: unifying quantum physics, consciousness, m-theory, heaven, neuroscience, and transcendence audio bk here on yt. scientific proof thru quantum physics for laymen. Is all I have to offer, friend! You will meet again!!! Best Wishes!🙏❤
I know Michelle might not see this, but she has inspired me FOR YEARS. She is such a great scientist/astronomer/physicist, and EDUCATOR. I love her excitement, enthusiasm to share the beauty and wonder of the cosmos with the public. When I heard about her husband passing, I grieved for her, and I saw her on TV after and I was so glad she would still be out there sharing her love of science. And while I'm an artist, I used to work in 2 different planetariums, and I love physics so much. When I was in art school and they taught us about Wabi Sabi, the fixing of these pottery with gold and how it becomes more special, more unique, that changed my whole brain. I was changed forever. For her to bring that up, in her talk about her husband's passing, which I never expected her to share, it just blew my mind. It shows us how connected we all are and how life continues on in it's increasing, beautiful complexity. THANK YOU MICHELLE! Thank you Big Think!
Michelle sending you my heart felt condolences. Thank you for your clip. I too lost my Husband, my soul mate to Leukaemia in February 9, 2024. The pain and devastation at times has been unbearable, the reflection on how I could have changes something so he would live longer. It starts to become illogical. I just wanted to share something that has given me great comfort, listening to people who have had near death experiences- some of the stories are incredible and very comforting❤
It will be 2 years in April when my husband died of complications from COPD. Ten days prior, we had entered the hospital for a lung procedure to improve his breathing. His good lung collapsed. Ten days into his stay he turned to me and said, "I can't go on like this. I won't go on like this." The moment we decided on hospice, the reality of his death hit me like a semitruck. My husband is going to die and there is nothing I can do. He entered hospice that day at 4:30 pm and was gone by 7:15 the next morning. Grief and this unholy emptiness descends upon you and then your mind and body separate. I went on for 6 months trying to put myself back together and final went for professional help. That worked. I learned to deal with grief and find it's proper place in my life. You never get over the grief of losing someone you love more then life itself, you get through it day by day. I am not a religious man nor do I believe in a god but I do believe his energy is out there in the universe and someday we'll join.
Thanks for sharing your story, Steve. "Learning the proper place for grief in your life" is a very accurate descriptor for this process. We're sending you love. ❤️
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I still empty and miss him every second, it's a pain that never goes away. Im 32 years old and was 24 when the love of my life died. I still feel like the wind is being knocked out of me. It hurts too much to breathe. I dont want to live the rest of my life without him...he made it worth living.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Thank you for charing. For almost ten years now I'm searching for that path out of grief, and that scares everyone away. Really afraid that it will never happen and ending up al alone.
I'm 23 years old and almost out of nowhere my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (she is currently 56) and maybe has another 3 years left. For context, my parents got divorced a few years back under pretty traumatic circumstances and my dad is no longer in my life. I also have no siblings. My mum is functionally my entire family and I'm getting mentally prepared to be truly alone in this world in my mid twenties. Needed this sort of content. Thank you.
😢sorry.
Remember, there are 7 billion of us out here. A few of us don't suck.
@@rimbusjift7575 It's not a few, it's many. Most people i meet in life are generally kindhearted despite the majority view on this imo. @Gio I'm a little older than you are but basically in the same situation as you. I'm not saying i have the answers moving forward because i don't, and i feel definitely scared about the prospect of 'being alone' in this world. Maybe moreso about this than anything else. I hope both of us will find our way in that journey, and will be able to fill it with plenty of love and meaning.
@Gio crolla I’m so sorry to hear that. I was in the same situation with you fresh out of high school. What i think helped the most was that our family got together to take care of her day by day. Her siblings loved her very much and we were each other’s emotional support throughout that period.
It can be a challenging time. I hope you keep a good spirit and also allow yourself space to feel all that you are going through.
More power to you man
oh my.. I can't imagine the amount of courage it takes to get in front of a camera and be so vulnerable. BIG respect to her
Open vulnerability is a superpower. With that superpower, there is a type of invincibility, of strength and the rare ability to touch other souls.
@@devinsuncle I agree 100%
this woman is strong omgg
drama queen 🥱
I’ve never had someone describe grief so perfectly, the way she says the world moves on when yours has stopped.. the thoughts and the feelings and all of it. Never had someone just say it so perfectly. Thank you.
Agreed. This is what struck me the most when my husband died of cancer. How other people just got on with their lives as though an entire world hadn't just collapsed. Because for them, it hadn't.
For me, that collapse completely separated me from everybody else. Though I had plenty of family and friends trying to comfort me, none of them could understand what I was going through. And truth be told, they didn't really want to understand, because it was too painful to contemplate. This is why people generally avoid talking about the deceased to the bereaved; it's not a fear of upsetting the grieving person, but of upsetting themselves by being forced to contemplate this kind of loss and pain.
That's why the rare friend who will bring up my late husband's name and dive into that black hole of grief with me is a true treasure.
See weird enough I’ve used your ASMR videos to help me sleep for a long time now. Idk if it’s grief or whatever but I can never sleep on my own and doing what you do helps millions of people around the world so thank you.
@@BellaBarossa Beautifully said, and I agree, people keep on living and go on with their lives, but I can't, and now I see all the bad in the world and it overwhelms me and I just want to be done with everything. Life seems to be nothing but suffering and pain, at least it clearly outweighs the good
@@xlReap64 I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. It is all too easy, when you are in the depths of grief and despair, to focus on all the bad in the world, and yes, it will overwhelm you.
You can take my advice or leave it, but please consider giving yourself a break from social media, and media in general for a while. Take yourself away from negative influences, if you possibly can, and try to focus on things that may seem trivial, but are in fact positive and healing: sunsets, mountains, oceans, forests, the night sky. I promise you this will help to reset your perspective over a surprisingly short amount of time. Focus on yourself and what is immediately around you, rather than what is happening in the world. You can't control what is happening in the world, but you can control what you prioritise in your own life.
Visit a dog park and watch the interactions between dogs and their people. The pure joy experienced by the dogs in investigating their surroundings, other dogs and other people, and the unconditional love they display to their owners.
I promise you that you'll begin to see that your life is important and can be beautiful if you can separate it from the world's wider problems, and narrow down the scope of your life to just *your* life, and to doing what makes you happy. We only get one chance at this life, and you will never know what positive things can be around the corner if you don't let yourself keep going.
It has been 7 years since I lost the love of my life. Trust me when I say I've been to dark places since then, but I have come out of them a stronger and more resilient person. You can do this, too, and I promise it is worth it.
I wish you well in your personal journey, and hope sincerely that you will find joy gradually returning to your life. ❤
Didn't expect to see you here, Karuna. Hello any other family who sees this 👋
I lost my wife last year. She was only 41, and it was sudden. The hardest thing for weeks was knowing I woke up one morning and she was fine, and not a few hours later, she was gone with no warning at all. Even these days I still see the face of the woman who smiled and could just give me a look that told me she wanted a kiss, and then the face I am grateful my son never saw.
About the arts, and how they help us deal, and find a path forward, I completely agree. I'm an indie grimdark author. My wife used to listen to me read every chapter to her after I finished one. She was always my first reader. She would get so excited and tell me "My book! You're just the one writing it." I would always laugh and agree because it always sounded so adorable. It would make me inwardly swoon.
So, I keep writing, believing she's watching every word I pen down, because she didn't want spoilers. I laugh when I imagine her telling Supreme beings and older spirits that she won't listen to them spoil the story, even if they do know what I'm doing. Part of her charm was how stubborn she was.
But it really is my way forward.
Grief is undoubtedly the hardest thing we'll ever have to do!
Same here. My husband suddenly left us, leaving me raising my three months old by myself, even did not say goodbye.
My husband left our world a year ago, it was suddenly he was on his way to work and he crashed. we have been married for 15 years and have two children. the pain is indescribable and just like Michelle says I need to rebuild myself. it is painful
"When the universe began, I was holding your hand. And when the universe ends, I'll still be holding you hand." this is so beautiful.
I lost my wife to cancer. It's been 2 years and It's still so painful. You described it perfectly: suddenly feeling like I'm on a different planet, with everyone around me going on with life and me feeling invisible. I will try letting the pain happen...Thank you for this video.
Feel that pain. It's part of what's left of her. It'll never get better but it gets easier. That hole will never be whole but you'll learn how to live with it.
Yeah and then most of you widows find another human to have s’x with. Which is weird because you can’t have 2 people in your heart as soulmates. But of course there are still people who still are loyal to their soulmate even after death, only having that soulmate in their heart which is so romantic and sweet! You don’t need another human to live with, you can literally hang out with friends or adopt animals or start volunteering work etc. Instead of cheating on your late soulmate, because you can only have 1 person in your heart. You can only love(romantic love) 1 person.
@@truehappiness4U you can defs have more than one soulmate? Life’s not a Disney movie
@@truehappiness4U human beings need companionship. It is not negating the love of one person to then love another, perhaps in a different way. We are physical beings until we are not.
I lost my husband 6 years ago to cancer. I thought I had died. I wanted to crawl into a corner and do nothing, see anyone, go anywhere, do nothing but cry. It does get better with time. You'll think about the great times you had together and less and less about what you lost. There is a life after a spouses death, but it does take time. Let yourself cry whenever the feeling comes to you. God bless you and your journey 🙏🙏
My first real bf, I met in college. We were each others first for so many things. We moved in together, he had a job lined up before graduation. As did I, im an RN. We felt so "grown up" and happy, always laughing.
We lived together just over 4 months when he was killed in a car wreck on his way to work one Tuesday morning.
I blamed myself. And had a lot of "what if" guilt. What if I stalled him by a few minutes then he might still be alive. What if I hugged him 1 extra time, what if I didnt hit snooze a few times, what if, what if....
I dont really remember much of that day. Bits and pieces. It felt like an out of body experience. As if, at any point, someone would say JUST KIDDING!! But no, it wasn't a joke.
Then, bcuz we lived together, every regular daily task I did, I was reminded of him. I was having multi breakdowns over the days. His toothbrush, his razors, his clothes, his shoes, his hair stuff, his colognes. Seeing them every day was like ripping the band aid off all over again. What should I do with them. I can't toss them, they were his...
He wasnt the love of my life but his loss made me realize how precious life is and to take NOTHING for granted. We told each other that we loved each other, those were the last words we spoke. Thats the memory I keep, as a reminder, of how great his presence was. This was almost 20 years ago. While it doesnt hurt as much, its still a pain. And I allow myself the ache, as its a reminder of one of the most magical times in my life 🙏🏼💖
I am touched by your words and the story you've told. Thank you ❤🙏
Most beautiful thing I've ever read, you are stronger than you know and mad respect for you for this comment xxx !
I understand the feeling of the clothes, his things etc... I was like that when my Dad passed away.
You're fortunate you found the love of your life. It probably makes everything you wrote much more manageable.
I'm not sure if that grief ever goes away. Thank you for that beautiful romantic story. I'm struggling to find my way after the loss.... not sure I can describe it. Anywayz, I might know a little bit of how you feel. I'm just so grateful to not be alone in those feelings. I could never describe it....
Did you find new love after, if I may ask?
Loving someone that deeply is being aware that it will only ever end in heartbreak for both you. Either you die or divorce. Loving someone is knowing that you might be absolutely shattered as a person after they are gone-but choosing to love them anyway.
That's why people say "May I die before you".
This is what I had with my fiancé. Well no have still. He passed away 6 weeks after we had our first child. If it wasn’t for having a piece of him I really don’t know how I’d get up and do anything each day. I had a dream about him that we were riding in a car talking and I remember the conversation so vividly like it was actually real, like it really happened and woke up in so much pain the moment I realized what my reality is now. I’ve never had someone I was so close with. It literally was like we were 2 halves of the same person. But even knowing what I know now I’d still go back in time and do it all over with him again.
@@Danoodledoodlehope you are doing fine now
@@pauldirc.. each day is a struggle it’s still super fresh and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. No matter how many times people say time heals all wounds I just think it’s a wound that’ll always be there I’ll just have to learn to adapt to the change of him now being here.
@@DanoodledoodleI lost my fiancé 4 weeks before I gave birth. She is a week old now. The pain I feel is unbearable. But it was bound to happen at some point in life. I just never thought so soon.
It’s been 3 months since my wife died. I know now that love is the most powerful force in the universe and grief is just love with no where to go. ❤
I lost my husband 31 days back..i m 30..he was 30..he was doctor..we Don't have kid..he committed suicide suffering from depression..
We were married for 1yr 5 months and was in relationship for 9 years.. Each day is more challenging now..i can't live without him..i am craving for his touch for his presence.. My entire world is shattered..
@ I’m so sorry you lost your soulmate. I would give anything to kiss my wife again. Life seems so dull and empty now. But we have no choice but to care on. It’s been 5 months and I still cry at night thinking about her. Not looking forward to Christmas this year. She loved Christmas. Stay strong and know he is still with you.
My wife died a little more than a year ago from cancer. We were married for 22 years.
I really like the analogy of the broken vase with the gold fillings - the vase will never be the same and there is a beauty to it. And yet anyone looking at it will know that it was never intended to be built that way. Friends and family will always ask me to move on, well, I will move on, but what they don't know is that there are some parts of me that enjoy the grief and don't want to move on.
The other day I had a dream. I was walking around in the kitchen at home and noticed a room that doesn't exist (at that point I knew I was lucid dreaming). She was standing inside looking at me, the chubby version before the cancer took all the chubbiness away. I asked her what are you doing there, and she didn't say a thing, just gave me a shrug. I went on over to hug her for as long as I could.
Hope to see you again soon.
wow if your dream wasn't an analogy for that broken vase put back together again with gold - I don't know what is! She is there - within your grief, within all the spaces that remain after you were torn apart. Within your love for her and the joy you felt when she was with you. A friend of mine told me that in some cultures, having a dream of a loved one who has passed visiting you was auspicious if they didn't speak in it. It means they are in peace wherever they are now.
This made me tear up. So so beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sending prayers for your reunion - whether it’s within sweet dreams like the one you described, or within some other realm ❤️
"...some parts of me that enjoy the grief and don't want to move on." That's a very poignant statement, and at the same time it's very much the raw truth many won't admit.
bless you're soul❤️
😢
My soulmate passed away 5 weeks ago in her sleep. She was my love and my life. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly. I can’t even express the emotions I feel and no one will truly understand as they do not have any idea the love she had for me and me of her. She was my rock, and she knew everything about me, my whole life and I knew her life. That was built over time and can never be replaced. I miss her so much and the hurt gets stronger each day.
Stay strong my friend.
I'm sorry for your loss. One thing that helps me is remembering that having that level of love doesn't die... and it's something many will never experience. The grief has had it's own cycle, changing constantly, hours, days, weeks, months. My friend said, "When you're heart breaks, it breaks open" and I try to let the grief take its course. I hope it will make sense some day and I wish the same for you.
May she rest in peace❤. How are you doing today a year later? My wife of 41 years passed a few weeks ago and I’m having trouble dealing with the loss of my soulmate❤
I lost my bride after a 15 year fight with cancer 2 months ago. I'm a tough old Vietnam vet but this has kicked my butt..the only way I can go forward is with the strength of Jesus.
😢 right 😢
So sorry
I lost my wife five years ago to cancer. She was 40 when she died. We were highschool sweethearts. This was helpful for me. Thank you.
40 is unfairly young. Very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. I too am with my high-school sweetheart and I'm 45, l can't imagine the pain you've felt. I know it will come to us all, that is inevitable. Thank you for sharing.
@@irishcountrygirl78 thank you for your kind words Tracy. This strangeness of death, this certainty, I'm not bothered by it, when she screamed for her mother as she died... It haunts my soul.
My wife just died suddenly at 35, we were together since we were 15.
I lost my husband at 41. I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself
I lost my husband August 2019. I’m still not the same without him. I sleep on one side of the bed. I talk to him like he’s here. He was only 55. We were married for 35 years, together for 37 years. And I always feel bad when I accidentally call our son his name because he is the spitting image of his dad. It’s a heartbreak that never, ever goes away. 💔
I’m in South Carolina.And you? It’s like a tearing pain that you know will never heal! It’s now been a little over 4 years. I don’t burst into hysterical crying anymore but I’ll still feel that ache in my heart when I see or hear anything that reminds me of him/us! This is my worst time of year actually. He LOVED Autumn. Crisp, cool nights, Halloween, our local multi-region Fair, everything Autumn!
Happy Autumnal Equinox! 🍁🌻🍎🍂
I lost my husband 9/11/23 .. I feel your pain ..we were together for 23 years .. he was my world .. I had no friends but him ..he was suffering from lung disease ...I just want to be with him. I am not myself. I am just existing. I want him back. This is so hard for me..being with someone day in and day out..24/7 ..and now they are not there. I am losing my mind.. I too , feel like I am on another planet, and others are going on with life.. I am sick . I love my husband..😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
@@nyobibanks253 So you just recently lost your husband. I know that this is incredibly hard to believe right now but it does get a little easier. Not the crying. That will be on a regular basis for about 2.5 to 3 years and then it begins to ease. It did for me. Now I only get teary eyed when I see or am reminded of a very happy memory of him, or something silly he said or did.
Do try this this and it will help, I promise. Talk to him. You think he can’t hear you but he can. You also might try journaling. But definitely talk to him aloud. Tell him how much you love and miss him. Also, do not avoid favorite places you went together. It will hurt but helps the healing process. Restaurants, vacations spots, stores, etc. One day at a time. ❤️
I am truly truly sorry for your unimaginable loss. We can never be prepared for it. I lost my husband 15/4/20 after 52yrs of marriage. My soul was amputated and I am now only half of my former self. Life goes on around you and you wonder how it can. Am I the only wife who feels like a spare part at family gatherings??? I don’t really enjoy spending time with my three sons and their families much as I really do love them all very dearly. They have partners to talk to but I return home alone to an empty flat very sad with no one to tell how heartbroken I am. Sending a big hug to everyone who understands this. X
@@jenniferoram4458 I do understand you Jennifer! ❤️ All that I had was our one son so I do encourage you to try to spend time with your kids. Do you not have a close friend? I was lucky in the fact that I did and she moved from Nebraska to South Carolina to help me through it and be there for me. She would hug me when I would start crying and tell me everything would be ok and that I would get through it. My son was hurting as much as I was so he really didn’t know how to comfort me so he was glad that I had my bestie! ❤️ It’s such a difficult process to go through. You look in the mirror and think while looking at yourself “being a Widow does not suit you.” It slowly but surely does get a little easier. I promise. I never thought that I could get to a place where I could remember him and smile or even laugh at some silly thing he did but I did make it. Yes there are still tears, there is still heartache but I don’t feel that crushing, breaking heart like I did - I will get better! 🥰 All of you please take care and just come back to this post and comment if you need to vent, cry, express anger or if you simply want to talk about your loved one that you’ve lost!
A friend of mine is a funeral director. A common trend he finds is family and friends are very supportive in the few days after a loved one dies. However the day after the funeral you are on your own. There is little support for the post-funeral grieving process. Yet you are expected to move on as if the death never happened.
My best friend dumped me at the 18 month mark because she couldn't stand the intensity of my grief.
@Scott Brandon, so true. Thank you for pointing it out.
@@sonyavincent7450 I hope you are healing every day ❤️ hang in there
You are on your own , but I felt that was a journey I needed on my own after my partner of 21 years passed away suddenly she was only 43.
I felt family and friends didn't bring it up as to not make me feel the pain , but of course you do always
That is so true. It is a lonely journey after the first month. After my wife died (married 22 years), I needed to handle the probate, close her bank accounts, handle the small business matters that she had hanging, arrange for care for my mother in law who had dementia etc. There wasn’t really anyone to share the burden with, and it didnt seem fair to share it anyone else anyway. So it was hard.
In some ways, it was a lonely journey.
But I kept her phone subscription, and some days, I will text her. And I will text myself back in the way that she will text. It gave me a bit of comfort 😊.
And I read a little story that gave me a lot of comfort actually. It was about this heartbroken husband after the wife passed away, who realised it was for the better, because she wouldn’t need to feel the pain if he had died before her. So it was all for the better.
I still haven't gotten over my mother's passing and that was in 2020. Grieving during covid is a strange experience. Not being able to visit in hospital and then the unexpected death really did something to me. Like one day she was here and one day she was gone without a good bye. There's a quote I try to think of from Cicero "the life of the Dead is placed in the memory of the living"
💥❤💫
Always there for you ❤❤❤❤❤
WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY.
BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
Im so sorry. She’s in a better place now 😢
I lost my Dad in 2020 too from Covid, and being so young at 24 I already lost my Mum when I was 5 Years old, and only had my Dad left, I lived with him still as I didn't want to leave him alone being older and struggling. It was very strange, not being allowed to see them for long only allowed an hour, then when he died, I wasn't even allowed to see his open casket or he wasn't allowed to be dressed in his things, they could only lay his clothes ontop of him. We were only allowed 30 people at the Service, and the list is just endless, it was sure one of the hardest moment of my entire life. xxx
I'm sorry to here you lost your Mother xxx
@@leoniejosette5145 I'm sorry the poor/misguided response to COVID by the powers that be cost you that time near the end of your dad's life. It happened to so many.
@@leoniejosette5145 With how many people there are in the world, I realize now that it isn't statistically improbable, but you're the first encounter I've seen who's had almost exactly the same situation as me, at around the same time. I've come to understand that you can't truly understand loss until you've experienced it, and this understanding is shared between everyone who has, whether it was their mother, father, sibling, child, friend, etc... I've read countless stories of grief to help me understand my own, but as mentioned, this is the first time I've come upon someone else in their 20's, who lost their father during COVID, and has felt the special kinds of fears that comes with that particular situation (not saying that they're greater or lesser than anyone else's feelings, they just resonate more deeply to me because it's so close to my own situation). Now I wonder many others there are, but I take no solace in the fact that there are probably more than us two.
I am so sorry for your loss, and for everyone else's here, and I hope that you will be able to find the way forward. I know I have felt genuinely happy since my father passed, I'm wishing everybody the same.
Grief is a part of the pact of love, we take a risk with our emotions to enjoy today, not knowing how long we have.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Michelle. I’m 80 now and have lost many friends and loved ones. It does get easier, less painful. But you never forget them.
I'm in my 20s and just lost my Great Uncle. It sucks. I hope it does get easier.
❤
I meet someone who was 95 and he said life sucks because everyone except him died. In the first moment I thought it's funny because he get such a long life many dream of but at least I realised that he is 95 and not like a 20 yrs old going out and be wild and meet new people.. I also realised that this human waiting now for his end and has enough of life. Even his kids died before him and he buried them. Damn that's so sad wow.
thank you for this - i lost my father in november and my mother followed him just last month. i don’t feel as much pain this time and i was wondering if that meant something. i think it’s just easier after the first time.
@@rubyj7647 Very sorry for your losses. Feeling a little less pain this time might be that you feel it is "right" that they are together again. Just a thought.
I lost my wife my best friend of 48 years, last month (Nov 17th 2023) the pain I feel right at this moment has been the same since her passing, I'm constantly wanting to join her, so we can be reunited again.
My heart is with you as I experienced the same situation. May love surround you in all your ways.
🙏🏻
Same here. My husband of 45 years died on July 15,2023. It seems to be getting harder as each day passes. I want to die too so I can see him again and have this awful pain behind me forever. This world is not a fun place. It’s hard.
I feel the same😢
You will never be reunited again, thats the bad part. If you were going to be reunited then there would be no reason to grieve.
Lost my beloved husband of 40 years almost 10 years ago. The pain I felt was so enormous I didn’t understand how I could be in so much pain and still be alive. I went to private grief therapy and 2 bereavement support groups. I read books and articles on grief. I learned to meditate. I got weekly massages and acupuncture. I tried anti-depressants. I wrote in my journal. I walked and cried daily. I have come a long way but grief never ends.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
@@chrisjohnson9341atgmaildotcom I live in San Diego California. Yes you understand grief.
@@shelleycharlesworth5177 that’s nice hearing from you, I’m really sorry about what you been through.
@@shelleycharlesworth5177 I’m in st Agustin Florida ..
@@shelleycharlesworth5177 it'd be nice to talk more and get along better ?
The analogy she made between rebuilding life after major loss and putting together the shards of a broken vase with inlaid gold to create an, arguably even more beautiful vase, this analogy was simply beautiful. I'll remember that.
@Terre Schill 🙏💙
"Kintsugi", a nicely symbolic art
Kinstsugui
Well that line is actually going around since 2009 on FB pages lol, it is always a beautiful one tho
@@angonuts7492 well, I guess I don't spend as much time on FB as you do. But thanks for the remark
I lost my soulmate on Sunday.
I'm devastated, destroyed, heart shattered. He's my world. I don't know how to live without him.
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. 🌹 I still struggle every day, some are harder than others. I live in Phoenix, AZ.
@@MoniB888it’s nice hearing from you, I’d love to get along and talk to you more ?
you wont live much. trust me. im 10 years ahead of you. the pain never stops.
My mother received a diagnosis of stage IV pancreatic cancer in 2019, and passed within a month at 59. It was hard to accept that I had lost my mom. But it was harder still to accept that my father had lost his soulmate, and that he would have to live out the rest of his life and grow old without her. I am terrified of losing my own partner in such a way, terrified of facing the truth that one of us has to die first. It is my worst nightmare, and to think of my dad living through it was absolutely torturous. When I tried to express this to him, he said something that changed me, and allowed me to approach my fear of loss from a different angle.
He said "It is an honor to grieve for your mother. It means that I love her."
That’s beautiful and so true 🙏🏽❤️🩹
My husband died from cancer when we were 45 years old. It took 15 months before I felt I might actually survive this tragedy. The pain was unbearable, unbelievable. More than a decade later I'm still not okay, I just exist in a different life.
@Sandy D, tragically, I had the same experience and feel the same as you.
@@luciepepe1322 oh I'm so very sorry. I wish I could say something that would help the pain for you. But I know there aren't really any words. Just don't give up
@@awifeinterrupted , thank you. I am so very sorry for you and your husband. I do not think that there is anything that can help. That said, I replied to your comment hoping it could help you to know that you are not alone in your experience. Do not give up either. I wish you all the best.
I lost my husband in July 2020 in the most sudden way. It was in the middle of the covid shutdown, we were watching tv in our livingroom and when I looked at him his eyes were rolled bacwards and his hands were in a very awkward position and that was it. My son did cpr to him until the ambulance arrived but he was no longer alive. Why? I don't know. My life ended that very moment. We were making plans for the next morning and within a few hours my children and I were burying him, all alone at the cemetery. Reading about the universe and its mysteries and watching documentaries has helped me through this process. May all of us be able to find peace.
I'm totally in that situation at moment lost my wife 6 months ago after 47 yrs, She was my best friend also, I'm lost❤
Thank you for this. I lost my wife of 60 years to cancer last year.
Sorry for your loss Michelle. I've been there. Lost my wife in 18 days due to cancer. What you say is a sublime way to honor your relationship with your late husband, and to honor life, and respect death. We all love you and wish you the best
I am so sorry Fadi
You had so little time to prepare for the loss of your wife. I can't imagine how surreal and devastating that time must have been. I'm sorry.
@@LammasDeluge thank you so much for your feelings. God lss you
I saw her on Discovery Science as a kid and damn, this is what she went through. Seeing this makes my heart pound with grief
It’s a gift to have loved someone that deeply.
no its not.
My wife died of cancer almost 5 years ago now. Bereavement has been very real. Today I had a bad day at work and I feel guilty or wrong somehow for feeling bad that I can’t come home and talk to her about my stupid day at work.
I think you hired me for a pedicab ride in NYC years ago, you helped me understand the expanding universe. I’m sorry for your loss.
I've been a nurse for 11 years, half of that was in Oncology/ Med-Surg, and the other half has been in the ICU. I struggled throughout that time to find peace within myself. Seeing so much sadness and pain on a regular basis... I didn't know what to do with all of it. I found solace in science. Learning about the universe and wondering how us as human beings fit into such a large scale, that's what kept me going through the darkest times.
It touched me very deeply when I learned what she went through with her husband. It reminded me that what I do as a nurse matters, even if at times I feel very jaded about my career. The patients and families that come into the ICU are in what is probably the scariest time in their life, and I am there to take care of them. I may not always have the right answer, or know the perfect thing to say, but I can make sure they know, I am there for them. Now I'm in my third semester of pursuing astrophysics because these topics are what got me through those dark times in nursing.
I never got to meet a nurse, or see my father in the hospital before he passed, because of COVID restrictions, but I realized as I talked with the mortician, and with my teachers to give me leniency, that how you're treated during this hard time is *so* important. Thank you, for being there, and the kindness and support you've leant to people in their roughest moment. I have nothing but respect for people like you, and I'm glad you've realized the importance of what you do on your own. I don't want *anyone* to be taken for granted.
Thank you! For your wonderful work, your strenght and your thoughts!
I lost my beautiful daughter last april, it will be a year soon. I miss her every day, i am in pain and the grief is heavy. I see other people around me living their lives and i think how unfair it is that my only grandchild has no mother! Part of me died that day, i dont think the pain will ever go away. 😢
If you interested in astrophysics you should see and observe that our Universe had to be created by Someone because everything is perfect, including our planet Earth. This Person who has created our Universe is God . God has creared you as a person who has an immortal soul and when you will die you will see God face to face. Please, read a book : " Heaven is for real ". In your darkness days you may pray to God . Stay Blessed !
Just wanted to say Thankyou for being there for people during their struggles and know that it makes a big difference to us. The kindness and empathy of the nurses made it so much easier to deal with my wife battling and losing to cancer. You really are a special group of people.
Her grief is still so raw. It's astoundingly beautiful ❤️ I hope she is able to find solace.
Thank you for this. I lost my son to cardiomyopathy when he was 36. Two years later I’m dealing with intense grief again. My husband died of brain cancer just 6 months ago. We’d been together since we were teenagers, half a century. I don’t belong in this world. I, too, lost my life. Before my husband died I told him I wanted to grab onto his hand and go with him. I couldn’t imagine not being a part of each other anymore. Intense love will someday mean intense grief, always, for someone. We are never prepared to start this life over.
I pray and trust that you all will find each other again. It makes me happy to know that you have spent so much time together, successfully forming a family and sharing life with one another for such a long time. That sounds so beautiful. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you the very best, and may hope find you again. May all of you come together again. Much love.
Thank you ❤
I could have written this exact line: "I don't belong in this world. I, too, lost my life." I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, the way I am.
Mom and Dad were 14 years apart, dad spent his last 41 days in the hospital he turned 81 in there, mom went down hill fast after he passed away she passed about 7 years later I moved her In with me after a few years and took care of her till the end 💓I couldn't have asked for better parents i will miss them till I'm done 💞
I lost my wife five months ago (April 25) also to cancer. We've been together for almost a quarter of a century. We were blessed with three boys and two girls. But I would like to believe that she could still read this comment of mine, and that somewhere in this vast, beautiful universe, she could read this comment of mine. Thank you so much for this video. It gave me a fresh perspective to life and death.
"
"Things are not determined. There's no more a guarantee that I'm going to live a life of misery than there is a guarantee that I'll find love again."
Thank you so very much, Michelle. I've been in this grief/hell for a year and six months now, and I have scoured the internet and every book I've been able to find, searching for how to live in this state of despair without losing my mind. Your words have given me more hope than anything I've come across, and believe me when I say I have looked a lot. Blessings to you, may you find true happiness soon.
Losing my dad when he was 37 and my husband when he was 54 is the reason I became obsessed with quantum physics. Much love ❤️
That's a good way to deal with what you lost, keep pushing forward
I hope it helps you make sense of it all.
I love the Einstein quote.
Agreed, digging into physics and the universe has taken away some of my fear of dying.
@@liquidmagma Same. My entire perspective and world view has shifted. I have hope now 😊✌️
I lost my dad last year in April. He was only 52. He had a hemorrhagic stroke. The sense of doom… immense doom I would feel every morning realizing that my dad was no longer here was crippling. Lord help all of us going through grief 🙏🏼
I’ll always love you dad
I lost my dad last year in March. I've never heard anyone mention doom feelings before. I would feel this deep panic and waves of anxiety light me up when I remembered he wasn't on the planet. I still do sometimes. When many of us lose a parent I think our body is telling us something is deeply wrong because our safety net is no longer there. Thanks for writing your comment and I hope you can find some relief.
Hi Caroline! Im so sorry for your loss. It has probably been really hard for you since we are in March again… knowing a year has already passed us by. I still feel it sometimes too. I’ve been feeling it again lately. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year without seeing their smile, talking to them, giving them a hug… sending a hug to you!
@@RxxxQueen When my mother passed in January I had weeks of immense anxiety. I still do. I understand the feeling of doom. It's like we're still 8 again and need our parents to fix something, but we're realizing we have to fix it ourselves.
I bet a lot less of these kinds of death would happen if we still lived natural lives
I read this with tears in my eyes. Its 7 months now since my husband passed. I remember that morning call from the doctor in a hospital in plano Texas while am in Africa. It was about hemorrhagic stroke..
It's painful. Continue resting my love.
Am forever greatful fir the moments we shared.♥️
I lost my wife July 19 2021… suddenly, from an aneurism…she was gone in 20 minutes..I’ve been taught many things by you over the years…I never realized this talk would be the most impactful …thank you…
hey Scott, i hope you’re doing better. July 19 is my birthday, i have a feeling i’ll think of this comment every time that day comes.
It is really hard isn't it? I lost my partner from cancer a 20 years ago. It was the worst. I took medication, had talking therapy. and I created a whole new chapter of my life, new hobbies, friends.... I knew time would help so I distracted myself but I did keep a way from people as I knew I would just be difficult to be with it. Time for me helped a lot, and I just try to keep busy. I have a new life... and new experiences and my partner would love me to be happy
I understand. My husband dropped dead in front of me of a heart attack July 2018. I know the agony of the grief journey.
I lost the love of my life and husband July 22
@@courtneycoley8487 I'm terribly sorry to hear that Courtney. Mine died July 2018. Your loss is very recent, it does ease with time but I won't lie, the first year is wicked. Hang in there, and it helped me to frame it as, I was lucky to have had such a love. A lot of people have nothing but disappointment and heartache. I got lucky, met a man in a million, and I really had something to grieve. X
I have been a fan of Michelle Thaller as a science communicator for quite some time, but the lessons about love and grief in this genuine and vulnerable piece takes that fandom to a whole new level. THANK YOU, Dr Thaller for your willingness to share your story and the same to Big Think for producing it so gently and sensitively.
My mother died of cancer when I was 13 (I am 26 now). I remember seeing my dad in so much pain despite trying to hide it. Of course I was grieving since it was my mom, but I can’t imagine the pain he went through losing his wife, his love, his best friend. To this day, he hasn’t been in a relationship.
I wish for you the very best. My condolences. You are amazingly strong.
As a dad I can tell you that he had to watch your mom pass, too and he also felt your pain. Life can be so brutal. ❤️
My darling husband/carer died almost 6 months ago. Even as Christian’s, it is a great loss and the emptiness I feel is terrible. The hours are so long day and night without him. He was the love of my life,
You have faith and hope and I pray God will comfort you and provide for your needs. I am sorry for your loss ! Jesus knows what it is to suffer and have bitterest grief He will be close .
Right there with you. So sorry. Lost my love in January and now I'm alone too.
@@patcharlton8837 so very sorry dear. It’s so very painful.
So sorry,take care
I pray God will comfort you and you will know you are not alone and we as Christians do know that one day all our tears will be wiped away. It is so hard to lose a beloved spouse and even more complicated when they are a carer too, as is my situation. Although I still have my hubby, I do battle the fear of wondering how I could cope without him but I know that would bring another test of faith and trust and that if I do not fear and stand on Gods promises He will come through for me.
Thank you for letting us feeling less lonely. I lost my soulmate half a year ago. Everything just went on, but my world has stopped the moment his heart stopped. He was just 38, we've had only 5 years together. The question, that always comes back to haunt me is just why..
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
My wife died 2 days ago. Can’t live without her. !!!!!!
I know I'm a stranger across the miles, but hope you can feel a hug, fwiw. I'm sorry for your loss.
Since I've had 2 NDEs, I'm looking forward to being 'over there' - it's so much love - but not to the goodbyes that happen too soon.
May angels of comfort find you.
😢
Sending you prayers, love and healing light. I am so terribly sorry. 🙏💙🙏💙🙏
@@jn3098 I am so sorry. I know how maddening the pain is when it’s that fresh.
@@mortalclown3812 for those of us who lost our soulmates, just tell us they are waiting for us if we just keep pushing through, because nothing else matters as much to us
Lost my wife coming up on 2 years ago. Even if I don’t agree with everything in the video. Thank you. Some comfort and positive things to try are better than none
I think my husband made sure to have this video find me. As I cried on my way home from dropping off my kids I said, Keith I cannot imagine the rest of my life without you, I will mourn you for the rest of my days.
He will be gone one full year March 16th. Grief takes hold of you by the jugular and has no mercy. The 28th would have been our 20th anniversary.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?,.
I lost my partner of 18 years last November. Today would have been the 19th anniversary of our first in person meeting. This was so poignant. Thank you Michelle Thaler. Carrie and I always loved watching you on so many documentaries. I'm so sorry you've lost your soulmate as well. 💔😔
Best wishes
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
I've watched her so often showing such joy at the Space Program and it's achievements. I hadn't heard that she'd lost her husband.
Thank you, Michelle for sharing this beautiful message with us.
Oh dear. How relatable this is. I am sending everyone SO much love, comfort, and peace if you are grieving. Grief is such a tricky, beautiful, horrible b*tch! It's crazy that I will be 40 this year and will have been widowed for 7 years. My husband died at age 35 by a freak accident. We never know how much time we have, let alone how much time we have with our loved ones. I'm learning grief changes and evolves with you but that the pain never really goes away. For me it lies silent for moments and then dunks me under water again, and crashes me out of the waves of grief and back onto shore.
I just lost my Billy to heart failure. Ive been feeling so lost. Thank you for sharing your story. Hearing these things from a perspective of a scientific matter, its very comforting. Thank you. I really really needed this right now.
The loss is so unfathomable.
I hooe anyone who suffers like that finds a way to happiness
My husband of 42 years passed in December….. I’ve been sad, angry, depressed…. Just so tired. Thank you so much for your message…. I have hope that I can learn to live with this grief, and move on with the next chapter of my life.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you. I lost my soulmate in 2005 and it took me 6 years before I could talk about it and begin to feel the healing. It’s now been 19 years and I still deeply feel the loss everyday. Especially the month of her death. Thank you for sharing your story. Much ❤
As someone who is going through the same emotions and feelings as Michelle, I can totally relate. It's been over a decade, and I'm still not over it. You don't actually go out of the darkness, you just adapt and learn to live in it and find your way forward.
Thank you for the video. I hope Michelle finds solace in her own way.
So true, somehow we have been made believe by other people (in a good intention) that everything will be fine and the pain will go away with time, but unfortunately it won't, there's always this bitterness that is left at the bottom.
the death of loved ones is a loss from which we will never recover. since each individual that we have loved will continue to live in us.
💥❤💫WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY.
BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
I'm an incredibly spiritual person and I strongly believe nobody really dies. I think we just leave our bodies behind. I recently lost my love and I gave myself 3 weeks to be completely broken, that's all. The knowledge he left me with and the lessons I learned can never be exchanged for a million years on this planet. I know one day it'll be my turn. I wouldn't want a single person to shed tears for longer than 3 days. Life has been good and I'm patiently waiting for what comes after it. Thank you for sharing your story.
Such profound grieve knowing I can’t see,feel, touch and smell him.. There is a huge void and after 22 months it hasn’t got easier. I want to believe he’s here with me as he was my protector, he was the one. It is a lonely existence .. as my heart has shattered.
This is a touching video. Thank you for sharing it with the world. My wife of 25 years passed away 5 months ago from gallbladder cancer. After we got the news of stage 4 cancer, she passed a month later. It came quickly, and she was only 52. Hearing your story gives me hope that I can get through this painful grief I experience every moment of the day. 💔😥
This is what grief is.
A hole ripped through the very fabric of your being.
The hole eventually heals along the jagged edges that remain. It may even shrink in size.
But that hole will always be there.
A piece of you always missing.
For where there is deep grief, there was great love.
Don’t be ashamed of your grief.
Don’t judge it.
Don’t suppress it.
Don’t rush it.
Rather, acknowledge it.
Lean into it.
Listen to it.
Feel it.
Sit with it.
Sit with the pain. And remember the love.
This is where the healing will begin.
Them words are helping me thank-you so much ❤
I lost a younger sister to cancer, and lost my dad in a car wreck, and lost my mum to a stroke. Also being a musician, I've seen many of my musical idols pass away over the years. That feeling of struggling to see the point of it all, for me has been really hard if not impossible to get over. On the bright side, as an agnostic I feel like my profound interest in astronomy and cosmology is what gives me the will to keep trudging on. 🙏
Beautiful human ☮️
Let music be your tool then. Sending great energy to you in the most scientifically backed way possible.
Lol, as if
💜
truly heartbreaking, i hope life brings you realization and comfort in the midst of your dark times
The sadness will be there forever , the pain gets easier. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I've had the same experience at age 26 and it is the hardest thing I've dealt with in my entire life. Losing the person you loved most and your soulmate left me empty for years. Every minute of this video is relatable and describes 100% exactly how I felt. She is so articulate.
I am watching this on the 3 anniversary of my father’s death. My mom just turned 85 and they celebrated their 60th anniversary a few months before he died. I am amazed with her courage. I am also newly diagnosed with cancer, waiting to find if it has spread. I’ve had wonderful conversations with my mom. Thank you for this video and much love from Gensac, France
It's been five years since I lost my wife and soulmate to cancer, I continue to grief and I expect that I will for the rest of my life, I love her now just as much as I always have.
I am still deep in the cave of grief and looking for meaning, I love how Ms. Thaller puts it, this isn't my planet anymore, I strive to connect but sometimes I just give up, it's no use without her.
Thank you for sharing and being so open Ms Thaller!
4 years since my partner died and I'm still in my cave too, on this strange planet. Visible but separate.
Sending love from one human being in pain to another, even in the darkness.
@@MISSYGful Thank you for your kind words and sending love back to you. I hope you can find some comfort in those around you, it's the only thing that has kept me going.
I'm so sorry that you lost your husband Michelle. I lost mine too on 28/11/22. He had a massive stroke at home right in front of me and was dead within 2 minutes. I'm still in a state of shock.
I didn't realize that grief hurts so much physically. The worst thing is not being able to discuss it with him. He was my best friend and we talked about everything...but I can't talk to him about anything anymore and that hurts. I talk to him all the time - I just don't get an answer.
We met, he moved in and we got engaged all in a week after we met 22 years ago. For the last five years he was sliding into dementia which neither of us dealt with very well
I'm grieving for two people - the love of my life (which is heartbreaking) and the man I lost bit by bit (which wracks me with guilt because I could have done that bit so much better). I cannot let the pain in too much or it will break me...but that's what you did? You're very brave. How long are you broken before you start to mend?
Btw., Phil loved space/universe programmes and he always liked you so maybe it's fate that I'm pouring my heart out to you now.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.
My soulmate and mother to my two
daughters passed away in my arms 10 hours ago. She fought brain tumours for 33months. I needed to watch this in my numbness. May not help now, but maybe in the future.
Sending you a lot of love!
I’m 58 and lost my 54 year old husband/soulmate of 26 years to cancer 4 months ago. My god, I’ve never heard someone speak to my experience the way you have. I spent a lot of time the first two weeks with my best friend because I didn’t want to be at home all day. After that I just stayed home and leaned into all of the gut-wrenching feelings. I guess I’m feeling “better” now but better isn’t really a good word. I feel like I had to hit bottom and get through all of that crushing pain before I could hope to live my life without Mick physically by my side. Ironically, many years ago he wrote and recorded a song called “Without You Now” (“I can’t think of my life without you by my side, I can’t think of my life without you now, without your love…”). It’s just unreal how every single facet of my life and being are affected by losing him. He was a gifted musician and a freakishly brilliant guy. I still can’t listen to his music yet but hopefully someday. 💙
Waves of light and strength for you...
@@camilobastidas6176 Thank you 💙
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
@@evidentress1 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
My father died February 3 2009. I wasn't looking for this video, but it was in my recommended, and I needed it. Thank you.
💥❤💫
Hope this helps ❤❤❤❤
WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY.
BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
I’m encouraged to realize I actually didn’t feel moved to tears by that very vulnerable and authentic share. I lost both parents very close together, just months before the pandemic struck. They were my best friends and what made life make sense. Of course I wasn’t aware of that before they left. The existential crisis one experiences almost immediately is disorienting. The realization of how much of what you thought of as yourself was really the parts where you and they intersected. It’s surprising. Then the understanding that now you get to discover what takes the place they once held. It will be ourselves, expanding into that space they left. The pain of separation and loss was excruciating for what seemed like what would be unending for the last three years. I’m just now feeling like life goes on. But sometimes it still feels like I’m free falling, and it sucks that I don’t get to share what is becoming my new life with them. Grief doesn’t go away, I think. It just changes and in a way, having this grief is part of that new life. Part of it is allowing that to be ok. It’s also about allowing the pain and letting it just be there. It no longer overwhelms me, and that’s, as I expressed above, encouraging.
An incredibly perceptive comment, thank you ☮️
I lost my mom technically 2 days after this video was uploaded. In fact, she'd been on oxygen for a whole week before. The morning of my birthday, January 27th, dad rushed her to the hospital due to an intense fever (she'd been having kidney failure, so she was easily infected) The next day, she fell into a coma, and was on oxygen. That whole week afterward, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never knew what was happening let alone imagining what would possibly happen, all I could do was praying and praying that my mom would be okay. But it was no use, and I never knew if she heard me when I said I love her for the last time. The decision to let her go was the hardest thing our family has ever done.
I'm glad this video was recommended to me today, I mean, later than never.
I lost my son 5 years ago he was 5 months old. Heart defect. He should have lived. I lost my wife 2 months ago from stage 4 breast cancer. She was 41. All I have left is my 6 year old daughter. I am grateful even though I feel scorned by god that I have lost half of my immediate family. She fought and endured every chemo therapy till the last two weeks of hospice. Mainly for our daughters save. She traded quantity over quality for here. We were together 9 years and married 7. We never fought or cheated on each other. She was my soul mate. Day to day I don't feel depressed but I have quite a emptiness in my life. I keep myself busy and work and have hobbies. There are people out there that have lost all but themselves. My worst fear if of loosing my daughter now. Lord please keep her safe.
My husband died of a heart attack in front of me. This is exactly how I felt after. Totally disconnected from the world. Everyone’s life continued. Mine had stopped at that moment.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Powerful experience.
I lost my mum to stage 4 lung cancer in 2020. I have no other family alive except my own kids. It feels debilitating to lose a loved one to cancer. You know they are going to die, you know it will be soon, there's nothing you can do... It's torturous and painful for the person experiencing the cancer and for those who love them.
50 years with my wife. She passed in 2019. She was the star of the show. Now, I watch the re-runs in my head, heart, and soul. Love never dies. I hope to see her again when my time comes. That would be Heaven for me.
I have not lost my soulmate, and I also have two children, though I can’t possibly correctly imagine what that would be like, there are brief moments where I imagine What If? And it’s the darkest place I ever peek into and immediately leave. And the most concerning aspect is that because I’m very analytical and logical, I have a hard time believing afterlife. I sometimes really wish I was deeply religious and sure that I will always see my loved ones in afterlife, but I can’t, I think life and universe is not fair and not designed to keep us around forever. I try to enjoy every second on this planet not only with my loved ones, but also with myself. Remember, as long as you are alive, everyone you love and ever loved are alive with you, this is the Universe way to keep us alive forever, through memory!!! Information is never destroyed!! Entropy persists!!!
💥❤💫
Hope this will help in better ❤❤❤❤❤
WHAT I DISCOVERED AND ITS VERY HELPFUL IS THAT THERE IS A POSITIVE ASPECT TO DEATH AND WE HAVE BEEN ALL PERCEIVING IT IN THE WRONG WAY.
BIRTH IS THE ONSET OF SUFFERING IN THIS DARK AND BRUTAL WORLD AND DEATH IS THE LIBERATION INTO THE HOLY PLACE FOREVER FREE FRIM LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING 😇😇❤❤
Michelle Thaller is just excellent and is one of the great scientists and leaders of our time. Her honesty and authenticity have always impressed me. Even having seen the major scientific work she has been doing all her life and seeing her featured in big name documentaries, this video really moved me at a deep level. Grief is real but our culture shames it and denies it. If everyone learned how to grieve properly the world would be a better place. It's ok to say "I am crushed" and "I am devastated". Grief does not go away by denying it. Denial of grief causes depression and mental illness. The only cure is as Michelle says, to feel the emotions, to allow yourself to be crushed, and to process and release the emotions. This is the path to healing.
I'm 45, and my husband is 48. We don't have kids, which is actually no big deal. However, he is everything to me; my heart, my soul. He's not sick, but I can't help but dwell on this thought.
I get very fixated on the fear of people dying. One of the best bits of advice I read is to not mourn someone before they're gone or they might as well be dead already.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
Michelle is a beautiful communicator. I knew her as a scientist, and now I know her as a human being. And yes, knowledge and understanding do provide you with the tools you need to keep going😊
This is fantastic. She described perfectly what I went through after my father died and I experienced devastating grief for the first time in my life. It took me years to be ok again. Thank you for this.
You can really see the emotion in her face. Thanks for this.
i wish there was a better button then just like. My wife didnt have cancer, but was just as ill, if not more so for 8 months. She passed away in my arms 3 weeks ago at the age of 39. The pain we share, tho different for each person is our common ground. Right now I dont see a path out of the pain... as you said so well "this pain is mine and part of who i am rebuilding myself to be". I too dont want to loose the pain, the greif, the sorrow... I will just learn how to deal with it. Thankyou for your story, in death there is good... in our case, its good to know we are not alone even if we feel like we are.
Yes, that is the most important thing to realize: that we're not alone, even if we don't know each other. Our pain and grief bind us to each other with common ground. After dealing with my grief for 6-1/2 years, I have found that the sharp edges have been rounded a bit, but I still miss him.
This video touched my soul for many reasons. My husband is the brightest light in my life, has been for almost 13 years. I can't begin to describe how much he brought, what he means to me so I won't. My greatest fear is losing him, not like growing apart or cheating, just death. I told him if I had one wish I would wish that I could die first, whatever that may mean for us (in 100 years or tomorrow). He is a great mind too, addicted to space, the universe, physics.
I am about to give birth to our son in a month. I want to leave this video here for him in case anything bad happens to me. For some reason I feel sure that it would help him... And I feel more at ease with whatever comes.
Thank you.
I feel EXACTLY the same as this. Wow. Im going to share this with mysoulmate too, whatever happens. They both sound so much alike too, its crazy. This comment resonated with me SO much, minus the married and kids part, but everything else, so on point. I hope you and I go first, in hopefully 80 years or sth. 🙏🏼🌌✨
Blessings on your upcoming birth. I feel the same way about my husband of ten years. We met later on in life and he is my soulmate. I love him more than life itself. I can't imagine going on without him. I think the grief would be the death of me. How do you even keep breathing?
It was my biggest fear too and I lost him July 2022. Unbearable Grief. That feeling of fear times a Billion
I agree and have been through this too. Before I could begin to move forward I had to settle in the stationary moments that became days and then months of grief. Losing my wife of 38 years, sitting alone in what was our life, our home where we raised four children. Eventually everyone leaves, the last car exits the driveway and the night comes. I sat, I embraced the loss, fully. I did consider all options - all options, but one day I had a thought, a smile. It was not a trade, I did not surrender a thought of Gwen to capture a thought of the future but allowed myself to have a hope - even if for just a moment - a flash in the pan that there is more life to be lived. I don't know if you remember me but I do remember you, it was a simple message of encouragement - thank you for that. I wish you many happy days, be well.
This is one of the most beautiful, eloquent, and touching descriptions of the grief one feels over the loss of a loved one. I feel every word of her words within my bones, because I've passed through the same process. The huge void left by the deceased is always there and you need to be always vigilant to not fall into the trap of despair.
Age 41 my husband passed away. Unexpectedly so there was no preparation (not that it makes it any easier as two years later we had warning of my dad’s cancer and knew he was going to pass)
It will be 6 years next month, the following month we would be celebrating 25 years married & 30 years together.
I’m finally coming out the other side of grief. 6 years after losing my husband & 4 years after losing my dad.
There is light again, I’ve learned to love myself enough to carry on, not only for myself but for my children and grandchildren.
Sending love to all who are in those early days of grieving. The time doesn’t heal the hurt but gives you the tools to learn how best to cope with that hurt. ❤
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I lost my mum (cancer) at the end of February and my husband (heart) 3 weeks ago totally unexpected, he just went in front of my eyes. I have to go on but the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now. Thanks for this video. Every thing helps.
I lost "my person" 5 1/2 years ago when we both got shot. I needed this. Thank you for this video.
I keep coming back to this video every few days. Knowing that somewhere in time, my wife is waiting for me to reach her, comforts me. Its the excitement of knowing that when I turn a corner, I will see her there standing, waiting.
Understanding that our mental, physical, emotional, and sexual health are ALL connected.
Grief is such a journey. Having empathy and sympathy is incredible, first for yourself and then for others.
I lost my wife of 44 years seven months ago. You expressed in words what I could not articulate. I’m both sorry for your enormous loss and at the same time, I’m glad for the depth of your relationship, for they really are two sides of the same coin. Thank you for your insights. They are a great comfort.
My dear husband left our world also at the age of 44, in a trafic accident, I can't enough describe the pain and void inside me. We have 2 kids 11 and 7 years
@@Meyaal I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I lost my dad, who was like a true best friend, in late 2020 to covid. I was 22, and he was only 56. It was so SO traumatic to see people not take the illness seriously and I really did feel like I was on another planet while everyone else goes on. I liked the part about not losing your grief and instead weaving the pain and sadness into who you are now. I am to the point where I can talk or think about it calmly and it terrifies me that something so horrible and traumatizing doesn't feel as raw and fresh anymore. I know my dad wouldn't want me to be miserable forever, but it still makes me feel weirdly guilty. Anyway, that is a nice way to describe the natural process of working through it over years
it's a surreal experience, like the world has changed fundamentally but no one else has noticed except you, you feel guilty for things that don't make sense to feel guilty about, it's like a fault slipped and the layout of the ground around you is in a different layout but everywhere you look everything is in the same place as it was before, but you really feel like every time you step around a corner that you'll see that change but it's never there and you go on feeling like that change is still around the next corner you'll step around
My last boyfriend was robbed and murdered two days before my birthday. For context I was turning 19, and he was only 20. That was almost 3 years ago and to this day I love him and try to be strong. It’s really hard bc no one I’ve spoken to can really relate to that pain, especially at such a young age. Nothing has been the same since then. I just hope I can continue to heal and learn to love again.
Lost my dear Bf fairly quickly 4 mo ago. I’m trying to navigate life slowly without him.
@@janetrussell2908 the best thing you can do is take your time and give yourself grace. I pray you find strength and joy despite your circumstances ❤️
You will learn to love again, but it will be different. Some people are irreplaceable.
Hope you are fine love from India❤❤❤❤❤❤@@paranoidwaffles880
@@paranoidwaffles880 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
my partner of 20 years died of a heart attack 3 weeks ago, right in our bed--if you were in the next room listening to us you would swear you were listening to 4 year olds, we were so playful, sweet, and adorable---and now it's just me--i don't know who or why I am right now---
You’ll be ok Richard. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be ok & hopefully Michelle’s advice helps you too
I'm sorry to know that. The period of grief of the average person lasts for about 2 years. After that, you should feel better, because you will get used to the absence of your partner. Note that the period of grief is affected by your life style as well, so try to hang out with your friends more, interact with other people. Maybe try finding a girlfriend.
see joseph selbie the physics of god: unifying quantum physics, consciousness, m-theory, heaven, neuroscience, and transcendence audio bk here on yt. scientific proof thru quantum physics for laymen. Is all I have to offer, friend! You will meet again!!! Best Wishes!🙏❤
My deep & heartfelt condolences 🙏
Richard you’ll be with your partner, one day… but not today, not yet… I hope you’ll find the will to exist and find comfort… god bless.
I know Michelle might not see this, but she has inspired me FOR YEARS. She is such a great scientist/astronomer/physicist, and EDUCATOR. I love her excitement, enthusiasm to share the beauty and wonder of the cosmos with the public. When I heard about her husband passing, I grieved for her, and I saw her on TV after and I was so glad she would still be out there sharing her love of science. And while I'm an artist, I used to work in 2 different planetariums, and I love physics so much. When I was in art school and they taught us about Wabi Sabi, the fixing of these pottery with gold and how it becomes more special, more unique, that changed my whole brain. I was changed forever. For her to bring that up, in her talk about her husband's passing, which I never expected her to share, it just blew my mind. It shows us how connected we all are and how life continues on in it's increasing, beautiful complexity. THANK YOU MICHELLE! Thank you Big Think!
My fiance passed suddenly last week. I needed to see this.
Michelle sending you my heart felt condolences. Thank you for your clip. I too lost my Husband, my soul mate to Leukaemia in February 9, 2024. The pain and devastation at times has been unbearable, the reflection on how I could have changes something so he would live longer. It starts to become illogical. I just wanted to share something that has given me great comfort, listening to people who have had near death experiences- some of the stories are incredible and very comforting❤
So sorry for your loss, My Condolence.
The way she talked about all of this is incredible to hear! She is such an inspiration! I love her!
It will be 2 years in April when my husband died of complications from COPD. Ten days prior, we had entered the hospital for a lung procedure to improve his breathing. His good lung collapsed. Ten days into his stay he turned to me and said, "I can't go on like this. I won't go on like this." The moment we decided on hospice, the reality of his death hit me like a semitruck. My husband is going to die and there is nothing I can do. He entered hospice that day at 4:30 pm and was gone by 7:15 the next morning. Grief and this unholy emptiness descends upon you and then your mind and body separate. I went on for 6 months trying to put myself back together and final went for professional help. That worked. I learned to deal with grief and find it's proper place in my life. You never get over the grief of losing someone you love more then life itself, you get through it day by day. I am not a religious man nor do I believe in a god but I do believe his energy is out there in the universe and someday we'll join.
Thanks for sharing your story, Steve. "Learning the proper place for grief in your life" is a very accurate descriptor for this process. We're sending you love. ❤️
Kansas@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I still empty and miss him every second, it's a pain that never goes away. Im 32 years old and was 24 when the love of my life died. I still feel like the wind is being knocked out of me. It hurts too much to breathe. I dont want to live the rest of my life without him...he made it worth living.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?
I just wanna hug her, she is so comforting. I needed this, thank you so much!
Thank you for charing. For almost ten years now I'm searching for that path out of grief, and that scares everyone away. Really afraid that it will never happen and ending up al alone.