What a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Session Looks Like

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  • Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
  • Get access to dozens of live workshops with MedCircle psychologists & psychiatrists! bit.ly/3wN5v9F
    Watch what a dialectical therapy (DBT) session looks like between Dr. Judy Ho and MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson.
    Our MedCircle series on dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) features a discussion hosted by Dr. Judy Ho and Kyle Kittleson on how the therapy works. Discover how DBT uses concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation to turn emotions from harmful to helpful and to improve relationships. In this video, host Kyle Kittleson and Dr. Judy show you what a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) session looks like so that you can learn DBT skills straight from a leading psychologist.
    DBT is used to treat anxiety, depression, and a range of other mental health issues. It is especially powerful as borderline personality disorder treatment.
    Thanks for watching our youtube video! Now, follow MedCircle for more expertise on mental illness:
    FACEBOOK: / medcircleofficial
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    Follow our host, Kyle Kittleson:
    FACEBOOK: / kylekittleson
    TWITTER: / kylekittleson
    INSTAGRAM: / kylekittleson

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @MedCircle
    @MedCircle  3 роки тому +134

    Watch the rest of this exclusive series on dialectical behavior therapy HERE:bit.ly/2ApMqC6

    • @Medietos
      @Medietos 3 роки тому +4

      I'd not want a therapist showing herself that sexually or at least dístractive and possibly disturbing if the patient, esp if a male one, gets sexually triggered and/ or provoked. I don't want to be s´distracted and reminded of sex , but work through my stuff. I also wouldn't show much skin if i were a therapist.
      I have long been wondering whether DBT can be in a more advanced, rich, adult language compared with the compendium i saw, which was superficial , childish and empty.

    • @madina6293
      @madina6293 3 роки тому +2

      I'm confused. Is it how a dbt therapy session looks like? How is that different from psychoanalysis?

    • @brittanycamille6460
      @brittanycamille6460 2 роки тому +1

      Moving around and being productive helps be from a low mood too. When things feel out of control, stress definitely activates the flight or fight in me at times.

    • @NiNNaHmArChEsSi
      @NiNNaHmArChEsSi 2 роки тому +1

      @@Medietos sorry I thought she was in underwear, your mind is going for the wrong way lady

    • @Medietos
      @Medietos 2 роки тому +2

      @@NiNNaHmArChEsSi Hi , Idk what you wan to say to me or what you are replying to. "she was in underwear"? .."going FOR the wrong way"? Never heard that in English.

  • @earthingearthling2976
    @earthingearthling2976 4 роки тому +2199

    Mad respect for u showing this level of vulnerability to millions of strangers. Love and light ❤️

    • @earthingearthling2976
      @earthingearthling2976 3 роки тому +3

      @u001 and u know this how exactly? And if it is, so what? If it encourages ppl to seek help.

    • @attheranch873
      @attheranch873 3 роки тому +7

      u001 if you think that, you’ve never had an episode of major depressive illness.

    • @a.a.6552
      @a.a.6552 3 роки тому +41

      u001 No, it’s not.
      I’ve watched almost all of the videos on mental health hosted by Kyle, and what he is sharing is consistent with what he’s shared & how he presents himself as a person across all the videos; it’s authentic.
      I have a tremendous amount of respect for him showcasing something so private & vulnerable, so that others suffering can learn and recognize how this can be beneficial for their lives.
      Kudos to you Kyle 👏🏻

    • @bobcats7382
      @bobcats7382 3 роки тому +24

      @u001 it’s a mock session but it’s using his real life experiences.

    • @southernstephanie
      @southernstephanie 3 роки тому +6

      AMAZING respect ♥️♥️♥️

  • @babs1232
    @babs1232 3 роки тому +862

    "It's like being shot with a gun but you're alive and nobody sees you bleeding" wow YES I'm crying bc that was so relatable and validating to hear someone describe that so well

    • @carmenvillasenor1186
      @carmenvillasenor1186 Рік тому

      YES!!

    • @kcainsmith2
      @kcainsmith2 Рік тому +1

      Thats a dream I had! I kept asking people for help as I was bleeding and they’d point me to the band-aides.

    • @mysterymoon3507
      @mysterymoon3507 Рік тому +4

      I had the same feeling when I lost my father. It gets better by the year. But it took around 3yrs to even feel a sense of normalcy. Others never realized my struggle. I even got exceptional performance in my yearly performance review at work. It can be tough. The feeling of hopelessness still surfaces at times.

    • @sweetreat30
      @sweetreat30 Рік тому +6

      The pain is excruciating and your just expected to go on with regular life

    • @tanyabaker4809
      @tanyabaker4809 Рік тому

      I thought so as well. Such a perfect word picture. I will definitely use this when I interact with my support system.

  • @dikballistik
    @dikballistik 3 роки тому +271

    I really appreciate seeing a "well put together" guy being so candid about what the rest of the world doesn't see.

  • @LaMOi1
    @LaMOi1 3 роки тому +406

    What I love about this is this is a classic scenario of what I call ‘an expert patient’.
    A patient that has long lived experience with the problem. This usually means there’s a degree of pessimism due to the length of the lived experience and the problem hasn’t gone away.
    A patient who has had experience of professional help and therefore is very familiar with a lot of coping strategies.
    These patients can smell bs if you as the counsellor are winging it.
    Often these kinds of patients shoot down a lot of your suggestions as they have tried them already, “and it doesn’t work”.
    Not easy.
    But if a person feels listened to and importantly if there’s a sense that you as the listener “get it” - that goes a long way.

    • @LaMOi1
      @LaMOi1 2 роки тому +2

      @@andyp3834
      Sorry - what specifically is your question Andy?

    • @Laura-zc3ee
      @Laura-zc3ee 2 роки тому +33

      @@PostalDude97 same. It is so discouraging that I don’t even try to see counselors anymore bc they don’t have any ideas I haven’t tried. It’s not their fault I’ve just had depression for so long and worked so hard for decades now that I am an expert on it unfortunately. I think having a counselor with chronic pain or mental health issues that they’ve worked on their whole lives might be helpful bc they can really understand that you are just exhausted and not being “unwilling” to change.

    • @MeeMenuchoth
      @MeeMenuchoth 2 роки тому +4

      Correct!

    • @IntuitiveCoachTheresa
      @IntuitiveCoachTheresa Рік тому +5

      I'm a manual therapist in practice 26 years, just getting into trauma resolution therapy since studying the polyvagal work of Dr. Steve Porges and his colleague Deb Dana. Since I'm already a hands on practitioner (traditional osteopathic approach with emphasis on Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy), practicing that with a polyvagal/trauma informed approach is getting life changing results for people, because it addresses the somatic/physiologic autonomic nervous system level of trauma resolution. That can really help people!

    • @nbeutler1134
      @nbeutler1134 Рік тому +5

      i feel like at that point, when a person almost completely understands themselves and what they’ve gone through and how to deal with it, the only thing that will further help them is friends!
      what i mean is, if you understand that you will always deal w something like depression, and you’ve come to an understanding of your condition after a long time of seeking treatment and such, and it still doesn’t go away (which for most people it won’t), i suspect the best thing then is to accept your personal experience. this can be viewed as depressing, if you see your chronic issues through the mindset of something that must be fixed. that one day it will all go away and all the effort you put in will pay off in one glorious moment in the future and all the sudden you become the person you always imagined, and all the effort you’ve put in your whole life is for that payoff.
      i think we have to accept that the payoff (in the traditional sense you think of it in) may never come.
      i feel as if the best “cure” for this is to accept that life will be a constant struggle.
      however, surrounded by the right people, the struggle feels ok, if we are all honest and open with one another. unfortunately we live in a world where people more often than not aren’t completely honest, aren’t their true selves.
      this leads to isolation and alienation because we all suffer and just choose to pretend to be ok to distract ourselves in this life. more concerned with appearances than feelings

  • @Sypherz
    @Sypherz 2 роки тому +22

    "You know what calms me down so fast? A clean, organized house." YES!

  • @johngwiazda7793
    @johngwiazda7793 3 роки тому +232

    I have Border Line Personality Disorder, and went through a D.B.T. program 10 years ago, and it changed my life. I can function in every day life better by leaps, and bounds. My marriage was saved by this program, as I became a better person, and father. The disorder is sometimes hard to live with, but I take medicine, and see a psychologist on a regular basis to help me in managing the illness. This can really work for you if you apply yourself, and embrace it. I highly recommend it rather you have my particular illness, or suffer from a myriad of other mental illnesses. My hope is that anyone who needs this will find it, as I stumbled across this therapy after 19 years of being misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder(not simultaneously).

    • @melm6614
      @melm6614 3 роки тому +3

      Will you share what meds you take for the BPD?

    • @johngwiazda7793
      @johngwiazda7793 3 роки тому

      @@melm6614 Effexor, Lamotrigine.

    • @justynak7644
      @justynak7644 2 роки тому +4

      @@johngwiazda7793 are those meds also for depression/anxiety? How about st.johns wort? A naturopathic doctor recommended that to me for depression. I don't know if I need something for BPD though? I'm confused. But BPD causes depression, right?

    • @natalie4071
      @natalie4071 Рік тому +2

      @@melm6614 i was recently diagnosed with BPD and i take Lexapro! the medicine is for my anxiety but the hope was that it would lessen the symptoms of BPD enough so i could manage it with therapy. it’s only been a few days haha but if this doesn’t work, my doctor recommended a mood stabilizer for the BPD specifically

    • @Mortikar
      @Mortikar 10 місяців тому

      @@melm6614 I take risperidone and it works fantastically when emotional regulation becomes a problem.

  • @---wq9xp
    @---wq9xp 4 роки тому +493

    He's really good at articulating how I feel

    • @privatepage4670
      @privatepage4670 4 роки тому +12

      Yeah feeling like you've been shot and having to keep going on like nothing happened

    • @kita476
      @kita476 3 роки тому +32

      I should take him to my therapy session so that he can explain for me 😂

    • @ZadeSlaterYT
      @ZadeSlaterYT 3 роки тому +10

      @@kita476 lowkey I plan on showing this to my therapist 🤣

    • @rjrnj1
      @rjrnj1 3 роки тому +2

      I just forwarded this to my therapist.

    • @karolinawilk7178
      @karolinawilk7178 3 роки тому +1

      Exactly

  • @mifnp8887
    @mifnp8887 4 роки тому +512

    RESPECT to Kyle for putting himself out there like this.
    Thank you for helping us through your experiences. Personally, I would have started bawling. You are so STRONG for opening yourself up to this kind of scrutiny in front of the world!!
    We appreciate YOU!
    On another note, I loved this exchange:
    Dr. Judy: "Some people like to smell dry sheets."
    Kyle: "No, no that would not enjoy that! I would ask myself: 'Why am I doing this?'"
    LOL!

  • @vpeake88
    @vpeake88 3 роки тому +253

    I thought it was just me who went this deep and went off on tangents when speaking to a therapist. I always thought I wasn’t doing therapy ‘right’ this is so refreshing to see

  • @megansmith2637
    @megansmith2637 3 роки тому +153

    Kyle’s “being shot but no one sees” metaphor was so so powerful. I felt that. Radical acceptance is hard, but so important. I haven’t mastered it yet

  • @heartsmyfaceforever8140
    @heartsmyfaceforever8140 3 роки тому +200

    If someone asked me what they could do for me today I would respond with a blank stare and have no idea.

    • @kompaguitarsoloslive7224
      @kompaguitarsoloslive7224 3 роки тому +15

      I agree, no way a client is spilling their guts in this way on a first session.

    • @kalinsage2063
      @kalinsage2063 3 роки тому +12

      @@kompaguitarsoloslive7224 he did volunteer to be on camera so I assume he probably knew he needed to be more open

    • @sarac.3568
      @sarac.3568 3 роки тому +6

      Exactly. And this is what happens to me in therapy. And then I feel incredibly anxious because I am not giving an appropriate response :/

    • @scottiiiii
      @scottiiiii 2 роки тому +11

      @@kompaguitarsoloslive7224 I’ve spilled my guts on my first sessions, it just really depends on the person i guess

    • @kaleimaile
      @kaleimaile 2 роки тому

      In the first session, I do an intake and therefore, not doing any specific techniques.

  • @PalomaNegra873
    @PalomaNegra873 2 роки тому +179

    I started watching the video as a psych student but by the end, I was watching as a person who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of their life. Kyle's experiences and emotions caught me off guard. I really appreciated his openness. It was so courageous.

    • @kaylakaterinazosa3729
      @kaylakaterinazosa3729 2 роки тому +4

      Exactly same here. Hoping you will graduate soon

    • @chrishayes5755
      @chrishayes5755 Рік тому +4

      it's curious to me that you cured your depression, but yet you found this to be an effective approach to helping someone with depression. to me it looked like a guy airing out his problems, and a woman ignoring the root cause, while smiling and nodding and telling him "yes I understand", and "we need to help you cope better".

    • @youtubecommentator6023
      @youtubecommentator6023 Рік тому +3

      @Chris Hayes, there is not a cure for mental health problems. The best thing you can do for your mental health is to break patterns and cycles that only fuel the problems your mental health issues can cause. As much as it is nice for people to say "I understand", that's not going to help you when you're at home, away from your therapist, trying to deal with an episode on your own.
      I've always thought that elementary schools should include mandatory coping classes so that kids learn at a young age how to break away from the black and white thinking and to slowly be able to cope with what they're dealing with. Because if you think about it, most people's problems are only multiplied because of their lack of coping. That's why therapists focus so much on it.

    • @ahlembnhm2489
      @ahlembnhm2489 Рік тому

      Very same case here!! I hope you are doing better!!

  • @EsaCrisbel
    @EsaCrisbel 3 роки тому +82

    I want to hug him and tell him that he is speaking for many people

  • @angelamartinez85
    @angelamartinez85 3 роки тому +115

    He looks so exhausted explaining his troubles and I totally understand ❤ we will totally make it through this just because we want to so badly

  • @jodythomas1159
    @jodythomas1159 3 роки тому +45

    Wow!
    When he mentioned, “like I would have canceled today”, my heart sank to my feet. YES. I have backed out or canceled on so many things.

  • @laelladickerson5905
    @laelladickerson5905 4 роки тому +82

    🥺🥺🥺 about halfway through when he said his major depressive episodes felt like he was being shot but had to live through it, made me want to cry

    • @jonseymouse
      @jonseymouse 4 роки тому +8

      And what a perfect description, too. I've tried to explain it as being lost in a haunted forest; invisible to everyone around me as they seem to walk with a compass and sunshine.

  • @kenziekielpinski766
    @kenziekielpinski766 2 роки тому +51

    I love when Dr. Ho explained ourselves as the main character, narrator, and audience. I’ve never thought about the whole audience aspect of it it all (the parts that will always be there that are whole). It really put into perspective the separation I can have between who I am really am and the “things” that have happened to me; they don’t necessarily make me who I am

  • @cosmicfoxglove1047
    @cosmicfoxglove1047 4 роки тому +209

    I like the engage your senses strategy. But I *hate* it when therapists say you have to accept the experiences, and say things like "You are still sitting her and you survived them", like Dr Ho did. Yes, I survived but I am deeply scarred by it. The last episode was so traumatic that if it happens at that level again, I will pull the plug rather than go through it again. I feel like a torture survivor. Repeated traumatic experiences have a long-term effect and at some point, I wonder if it is worth it to continue. I don't want to accept being regularly tortured.

    • @SailingFreeStyle
      @SailingFreeStyle 3 роки тому +5

      Truth

    • @dagonluke
      @dagonluke 3 роки тому +97

      Acceptance is not the same as Passive behaviour. But accept it has already happened and you cannot go back into the past and do anything else. I agree with you, but in psychology, acceptance is not same as letting things happen and do nothing. When you accept experience, you dont have to try to fight for survive everytime, and you can see even bad or good experiences somehow shapes your life.

    • @cosmicfoxglove1047
      @cosmicfoxglove1047 3 роки тому +29

      @@dagonluke Interesting reply thank you I will think again about this.

    • @keleawilkins9610
      @keleawilkins9610 3 роки тому +19

      Please press on. You are not alone.

    • @wildflowerwind6941
      @wildflowerwind6941 3 роки тому +16

      Totally agree with you. I have to work on staying normal every day.

  • @evareyesnkings
    @evareyesnkings Рік тому +21

    So just becoming Self Aware is half the battle. Thank you so much

  • @mannycross7046
    @mannycross7046 3 роки тому +28

    The way he said "you know what calms me down so fast..." but before he said "... a clean organized house" I thought he was going to tell us some weird deep dark secret

    • @sarahholland2600
      @sarahholland2600 3 роки тому

      LOL. I'm the same. My brain gets so fried from the depression & negative thoughts that a calm,tidy house to recoup in, is a relief & an escape .

  • @Isabella66Gracen
    @Isabella66Gracen 4 роки тому +330

    I would love to see what this looks like with someone with BPD. I am concerned my son isn't receiving the quality of therapy he needs.

    • @jrg305
      @jrg305 4 роки тому +15

      It's tough to trust the therapist when you're the parent. You have to be tough with accepting criticism if you're a therapist.

    • @Isabella66Gracen
      @Isabella66Gracen 4 роки тому +2

      @sammy Roberts thank you for sharing that! ❤

    • @Isabella66Gracen
      @Isabella66Gracen 4 роки тому

      @@jrg305 👍

    • @lgamble
      @lgamble 4 роки тому +19

      Find a therapist who knows DBT. It was developed by Marsha Linehan who has BPD. Best of luck!

    • @jeimy2704
      @jeimy2704 4 роки тому

      sammy Roberts thank u for sharing 🙏🏼

  • @anitacarleton2818
    @anitacarleton2818 4 роки тому +179

    You have just explained what I have not been able too. Hopelessness is hardwired. No matter what it's always hanging out with me. This will help me speak to my doctor. Thank you!

    • @BipolarBear107
      @BipolarBear107 3 роки тому +2

      I think I feel similarly. In my head, to her point about the plays, I didn't see myself as a type-cast actor or a best selling author of tragedy. Turns out there are other genres. I hope I can find some.

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 Рік тому +1

      I get his point about "hardwired" hopelessness. I do believe we learn early on to view the world through that lens. It is shaped by our earliest life experiences and the parenting we do or don't get. I try to help the young teens who are adopting the depressive out view on the world because it's currently cool to be dark and have a therapist at 14, to not adopt that lens. It's hard enough when we truly have that hardwired into us by life vs choosing it for "cred".

  • @worthit4lifemj582
    @worthit4lifemj582 3 роки тому +85

    I really love how they talked about using our five senses to ground ourselves. What a great tool to have in our bags for ourselves and for clients.

    • @modechick
      @modechick 3 роки тому +5

      in the midst of an 'episode' u dont think to use them tho surely

    • @Tamarahope77
      @Tamarahope77 3 роки тому +10

      @@modechick You don't need to think much, once you plan it, and you practice it, you are more likely to do it. I think it helps to rehearse it in imagination.

    • @MuffletLove
      @MuffletLove 11 місяців тому

      @@modechickyou can think to use it but it's not like it does anything in those moments does it so? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know it works for anxiety, but in my extensive experience there's no benefit to doing those things with depression.

    • @robwithrbk
      @robwithrbk 7 місяців тому

      @@Tamarahope77 once you have some tools and use them enough it can become instinctual. It can be instinctual for Folks that use the cognitive triangle and recognize that initial problematic thought. Or "surfing your thoughts" where you accept and "surf" that thought as you ride it out...accepting that it's simply a thought and will go away in time, hopefully before an emotional reaction, etc.

  • @MagickCat861
    @MagickCat861 3 роки тому +50

    Can we appreciate the openness and vulnerability here - including fighting stigma for mental health but also for medication!

  • @chewygal69
    @chewygal69 Рік тому +33

    Kyle, you have no idea how much you help me and other people who struggle with mental illness. You are a special person 💕

  • @TheYaha97
    @TheYaha97 3 роки тому +26

    The way you describe your depressive episodes, as having to live with bullet holes in you. Oh my gosh, I'm not alone. Thank you for making these videos.

  • @aliciam7774
    @aliciam7774 3 роки тому +47

    In my experience a "prevention" plan has never worked for me. When i'm down i am down and i cancel everything ..there is nothing that can prevent the "episode". Inevitable is the right word

    • @marissafranklin3281
      @marissafranklin3281 3 роки тому +6

      I’ve been struggling finding a hobby because my interests fluctuate so often. I change hobbies like I change outfits.
      But I tend to keep simple things around like a journal, coloring book, or knitting/crochet bag

    • @BipolarBear107
      @BipolarBear107 3 роки тому +4

      I feel this way too. I hate my coping mechanisms when I'm sad and hangry. I know what will help, that's not what I want right now. Related to this, I don't know (yet) how to 'collaborate' the logic and emotions there rather than 'negotiate' or fight them.

    • @im_saved_by_grace
      @im_saved_by_grace 3 роки тому +3

      @@BipolarBear107 Go EASY on yourself don't let anyONE tell YOU how to comfort yourself I dunno if I'm feeling this therapist 😅 because don't like people telling me how I should feel when feeling is healing best you can

  • @Olga-jm5xf
    @Olga-jm5xf 4 роки тому +68

    There's something else with this whole BPD, which is the lack of self worth, and that feeling of not deserving to be loved and it wasn't mentioned. Hope it is taken up in a session. Thank you, Kyle!

    • @justynak7644
      @justynak7644 2 роки тому +1

      personally I think it comes from people on the whole not giving me the intimacy I long for so then I feel that way.

    • @justynak7644
      @justynak7644 2 роки тому

      I mean one person currently is offering i live with her but I am not comfortable to. But mostly when I have needs they are never met, when I actually seek help out. Sometimes help comes on its own and thats like the only time I get it - when the other person is willing to help.

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 Рік тому +3

      He is talking of depression vs BPD

  • @makeaprettycake
    @makeaprettycake 3 роки тому +12

    I really loved how instead of just agreeing with everything she suggested, he was like “yeah but in the moment that is not going to stop me from spiralling downwards.” And so she could respond, I feel like the honestly allowed for a better explanation of what you are actually trying to accomplish with DBT “the loosening of a grande way to solve the problem.”

  • @eliottrodriguez7425
    @eliottrodriguez7425 Рік тому +22

    I have to make a comment of gratitude. Of immense gratitude for you both putting this therapy session for view and for free. I am someone who needs therapy, have been in therapy and completely believe in it's benefits. I firmly believe that I am still on this planet by the many therapists I've had the fortune to find. I'm in an economic position that doesn't afford a really good therapist. Those tend to be expensive. Can't find me a pro Bono one, and somehow social workers and the like, while incredibly valuable in what they do, don't do it for me. So the bottom line is how enormously significant it is for me to have a therapist to translate me to me in my life, and when the funds and or the insurance are not available....I PANICK! So I'm in constant search of therapeutic sessions that are free. And this one, I am getting awarenesses by watching and listening to the two of you. Just now, it occurred to me until the time comes when I can sit with my therapist face to face at least twice a week, I'm going to watch people who can afford a therapy session. One way or another I will have the cognitive, behavioral restructuring that I think I need. I also have books on top of books on the many different forms of therapy's. And today, I choose to believe, the Universe sent me You.
    Thank you for throwing a Life saver to an emotional drowning woman. When in doubt, just know that today, you did more than enough by allowing this session to be recorded and made available to people like me. Nothing tastes better than Hope.
    Thank you both.

  • @andreejohnston516
    @andreejohnston516 4 місяці тому +2

    Love the fact that you treat but don’t label. Too many therapists and doctors want to label and say this is why your like this vs just taking the individual symptoms and working with them! Thank you for being one of a few therapists. Proud of you man for being so honest. My honesty with my shortcomings have only made subject to more people using my vulnerability to test and want me to react so they can say “ you see look at her”. So I’m envious you gave a great therapist! ❤️❤️

  • @TheHuber26
    @TheHuber26 4 роки тому +91

    Kyle, I’m loving these episodes with you engaging in different forms of therapy. Could you please consider doing a series with Dr Cheryl Arutt where you do a trauma therapy session series with her. Would be incredibly helpful to watch. Thank you for your vulnerability. I love learning from you and relate so much to your story.

  • @popflickbogeypoo
    @popflickbogeypoo 4 роки тому +16

    You literally bared all vulnerability for everyone to see so that your show could help us out. Massive thank you sweetheart that looked uncomfortable for you but thank you. It just reminds me that even when we think about our depression when we are doing well it can totally transport us back there. So to be careful with what you think about when we are well so we don’t trigger ourselves back into it. This video is gold. I have just found out I have bpd and have no support at the moment so this was incredibly helpful. Especially bringing in those soothing with the senses thing. Pure gold. Thank you. More like this please!!! Much love.

  • @seandurbin7255
    @seandurbin7255 4 роки тому +23

    We need to see more of this! Real people be really vulnerable to find real healing. Thank you!

  • @melaD333
    @melaD333 Рік тому +7

    I love your honesty Kyle and your skepticism about the process. I have struggled with the “acceptance” side but I think for me it helps me to think about it like a Chinese finger trap.. the harder I worry or struggle against the feelings and depression the deeper I went. When I was able to say “okay.. I’m feeling depressed and that’s okay. This is just temporary and I’ll get through it.” it helps to not compound the issue by beating myself up, worrying about it being horrible or it going on forever. The understanding of it being temporary and remembering that the previous episodes always ended at some point is helpful for me.

  • @krisannpayne1617
    @krisannpayne1617 3 роки тому +26

    Awww he’s been through so much. God Bless him!! So amazing what he’s doing for people going through intense pain that no one else can relate to!! He’s doing more than enough he’s breaking barriers. We’re not alone.❤️

    • @whatsup8869
      @whatsup8869 11 місяців тому

      He is an actor haha! He is alot of these UA-cam videos as an actor.

  • @agatadab2540
    @agatadab2540 4 роки тому +42

    Dear Kyle! I am more than impressed! You are such a great person and host in my opinion. I am Gestalt therapist and love how authentic and honest You are. Thank You a lot

  • @kristinazergiotis
    @kristinazergiotis 3 роки тому +12

    14:36 and on really got to me. The analogy of being shot and living with the bullet holes and the fact that no one can see them is SO POWERFUL.

  • @maryellengodfrey
    @maryellengodfrey 3 роки тому +14

    Your description of major episode is so good I’m in one. Just wishing and praying for the willingness to get up and take a shower.

    • @christinarodriguez254
      @christinarodriguez254 2 роки тому +1

      I know it’s been a long time since you wrote this comment but I just want to say that I hope you’re feeling better now & im proud of you.

  • @em_yu
    @em_yu 11 місяців тому +2

    Watching this vid helped me realize that I've been trying to run away from my sadness, and that i didn't really want help with that, rather i needed to let myself give in and feel it, because that's what she wanted - to be see, felt and respected. It's hard cause supposedly I'm out of my depression for a few months, so feeling a wave coming over me again makes me think of myself as a disappointment. I think it's an important moment to note that feeling the emotion of sadness and being medically depressed are different things. Staving off the sadness was a part of the reason why i got depressed in the first place. Will try to let myself be with my feelings. Wish me good luck

  • @woopiemiddleman8232
    @woopiemiddleman8232 3 роки тому +30

    I really like the host who is being so candid and genuine. He is a great host.

  • @helenkahajossyova298
    @helenkahajossyova298 3 роки тому +7

    This gentleman has been very, I mean brutally, honest. Thank you!!😘

  • @lunaloo7515
    @lunaloo7515 3 роки тому +2

    Hey you, so much respect to you :) My bpd hit big time about 5 and a half years ago. I had my own business as a complementary therapist and also worked at a palliative care hospice. I loved it and was so proud of myself :) My bpd became so bad I lost it all. I can never work again and here you are giving us all strength and support. Thank you so much for sharing your personal struggles with us yet still continuing to support us. So much thanks :)

  • @docpotts
    @docpotts 4 роки тому +58

    I'd like that list of 250 activities

    • @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD
      @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD 4 роки тому +28

      You can find it if you Google DBT Pleasurable Activities. Several sites have downloadable pdfs.

    • @jonseymouse
      @jonseymouse 4 роки тому +7

      Thank you, Michelle!

  • @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD
    @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD 4 роки тому +102

    Radical acceptance can be so hard.

    • @genghiskengmail
      @genghiskengmail 4 роки тому +12

      If it wasn't hard there would be no need for strategies to accept being in uncomfortable situations. Believe in yourself that you can do hard things.

    • @dagonluke
      @dagonluke 3 роки тому

      There are good strategies and psychological interventions for that. But it’s not an easy work at all.

  • @natalijamartina
    @natalijamartina Рік тому +13

    Kyle bravo! You are super human. Respect to you and a therapist. Great view in my problems also. Stay healthy and diligent as you are. 🌈⭐️

  • @Arielhotcarmel
    @Arielhotcarmel 3 роки тому +29

    I appreciate Kyle articulating his feelings. It takes a lot of courage and I thank him for expressing this. I also wonder if he could be a quiet borderline personality who implodes. Maybe an introvert with a high emotional sensations.

  • @rowanbowyer6560
    @rowanbowyer6560 3 роки тому +8

    One of the moments that helped me in life and when studying Psychology and mental health was understanding WHY , What is actually happening in your mind and body, the literal reasons of how things work. Dialectical therapy is hard work I think anyway

  • @Freedom-kf1pw
    @Freedom-kf1pw 3 роки тому +11

    Wow, as an intern this was helpful on a professional and personal level! Thank you guys so much for doing this! I'm so glad I found this channel!

  • @chrissearcher3563
    @chrissearcher3563 4 роки тому +19

    💗 Your work matters, Kyle.

  • @pault9544
    @pault9544 4 роки тому +10

    It’s a relief to hear someone talk openly about their struggles with depression. A relief because you no longer feel alienated like you’re the only one with those struggles. I don’t think I have depression as bad as some other people, as I do have good days, but with the recent pandemic, and being unemployed, I’ve had more time on my hands than usual to be distracted by my own thoughts. I also struggle with panic disorder. After an episode I’m usually exhausted the next day, which makes me want to sleep in bed all day, on top of already feeling hopeless. It’s hard not to beat up on yourself when you feel unmotivated and like you haven’t accomplished much in the day. I’m interested in learning more about DBT. I like the idea they brought up of picking one thing from a list to do to help brighten your day up. I think it’s worth a try.

  • @mikew2479
    @mikew2479 4 роки тому +108

    Could you do a video with Doctor Ramani on Depersonalisation/Derealization? A lot of people suffer from this condition.
    Also thanks to the volunteers who take part in these sessions, you help a lot of people.

    • @aaymathebest4705
      @aaymathebest4705 3 роки тому +4

      Mike ...good suggestion you gave about derealization

    • @artangel23
      @artangel23 3 роки тому +4

      Yes please, I have this along with C-PTSD

    • @ginaholland8133
      @ginaholland8133 3 роки тому +4

      Yes, please! I would love to hear Dr. Ramani talk about Dissociative disorders (not really DID) but depersonalization/derealization and dissociative amnesia. I suffer with all three of these.

    • @dsan3111
      @dsan3111 3 роки тому +2

      Yea I’d like to see it as well, I’m actually suffering from this right now for 2 months now

    • @candaceion9622
      @candaceion9622 3 роки тому +1

      @@artangel23 me too

  • @redlady222
    @redlady222 3 роки тому +44

    (Pauses video to look up “Aquascaping”...)

  • @ASMinor
    @ASMinor Рік тому +4

    I have BPD, I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates.

  • @YumiOnline
    @YumiOnline 2 роки тому +1

    I have BPD and you have no idea how helpful these videos are, I'm literally crying because this has helped more than my therapists. Thank you SO much. You're changing people's lives.

  • @mnekvots9293
    @mnekvots9293 3 роки тому +4

    Kyle, you are so wonderful, in your darkest of times, remember your fans, and smile to yourself. Dr. Ho is excellent!

  • @dawnmurphy4320
    @dawnmurphy4320 Рік тому +4

    That’s what I was wondering too, especially since he was in his teens. Teens are challenging enough without the trauma of losing a loved one (especially your mother). I wish him peace in getting to the other side of this.

  • @rehabilitacionencasa
    @rehabilitacionencasa 3 роки тому +6

    Thank you for that video and for being so brave, humble and generous ❤️ the content you make is unique and full of humanity

  • @lgamble
    @lgamble 4 роки тому +12

    Thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability.

  • @maggiebreeze
    @maggiebreeze Рік тому

    So great to watch someone be so vulnerable for the hope in helping others.
    This really helped me today. Was struggling to get out of bed and just finding common ground through this video really gave me a little happiness.

  • @kellyboreham2396
    @kellyboreham2396 4 роки тому +12

    Well done for being so vulnerable and open. And coping with all you have going on. And to top it off you're am amazing host. Xx

  • @bxlawless100
    @bxlawless100 4 роки тому +13

    Real talk which is great! The quote, “put out the best” felt like a double edged sword. Ideal self is so high. High branch on the tree. Come down here with the nice leaves in the middle of the tree. 😀

  • @rosecrow810
    @rosecrow810 Рік тому +10

    Honestly? I feel like everything in life all boils down to this ONE fact: do you have a best friend? My Mom was my best friend and my biggest cheerleader and helped me on a daily basis. I feel I did the same for her. When you have this "go to" person in ur life? Day to day life is mutually survivable. For people who lack a best friend? Everyday is challenging. Everything becomes a struggle. As such, I recommend everyone out there who struggles with anxiety and depression needs to actively cultivate relationships that are SUPPORTIVE. Great channel. Great speakers. Good, practical advice we all can benefit from.

    • @annayra6458
      @annayra6458 Рік тому +1

      Completely agree. My mom was my best friend too now loneliness is a torture

    • @nbeutler1134
      @nbeutler1134 Рік тому +3

      yes exactly, because humans are a social species. people don’t understand that social interaction, more importantly deep, unconditionally loving social interaction is literally ESSENTIAL to living a healthy life (ie a real best friend or multiple), it literally slows aging. we have become so removed and hyper individualistic as a society and as a community based species that is COMPLETELY detrimental to our well-being, individually and as a whole. we simply have not evolved to be able to thrive without the need of genuine connection to others.

    • @veryveryvonfused
      @veryveryvonfused Рік тому

      Rose I am the mum in a similar relationship with my daughter, you are so right about finding a go to person, someone who offers unconditional positive regard, congruence and empathy in equal measures

  • @attheranch873
    @attheranch873 3 роки тому +10

    This seems real, I’ve had many episodes of major depression, and I get the impression that he really has too. For me it’s like I’m being tortured and I can’t get away. By the time it gets that bad nothing anyone says or does makes any difference. Someone said he was acting, but I don’t think so.🌷🌷🌷

  • @geoffreydarwentartconnexu
    @geoffreydarwentartconnexu 3 роки тому +4

    This sharing by Kyle was so relatable. For the first time a light went off

  • @oliviasimeon5686
    @oliviasimeon5686 3 роки тому +7

    My heart broke hearing his story about his mom, wish I could hug you

  • @Rlove8687
    @Rlove8687 4 роки тому +6

    Thankyou for being so vulnerable 💖 I loved this video and really appreciate it

  • @soultosoul6645
    @soultosoul6645 4 роки тому +65

    If I may offer some insight/info: I noticed you have dark circles under ur eyes & I had them my entire childhood & up until a few yrs ago when I was having physical & mental symptoms that no dr could figure out why. While hospitalized, a very smart hospitalist had a hunch & decided to run some non-typical labs. He came in the next day & said “found it!” They immediately began treating me for anemia w a compounded iron daily & B12 injections (weekly) INDEFINITELY. I can’t tell you what a change I went through. I became the healthiest I’d ever been & all the mental symptoms left. If drs are merely checking B12 levels, they won’t find it, mine showed within normal levels. Ask for comprehensive labs for anemia. Also there’s a loading period for first 2 weeks I had injections every day & tapered from there to once week. I went from taking several RX’s for anxiety to now only taking a thyroid med. Read up on B12 deficiency & mental symptoms.

    • @si_vis_amari_ama
      @si_vis_amari_ama 3 роки тому +7

      This may help some people definitely, B12 deficiency is very serious. especially with vegetarians. However he would have been screened for this, its a commonly performed blood test.

    • @soultosoul6645
      @soultosoul6645 3 роки тому +5

      Si vis amari, ama. My B12 showed NORMAL range every time it was drawn. This was a comprehensive lab that found it & I’ll add exactly which one/s here when I find. There’s a book called COULD IT BE B12 by Sally Pacholok that is well worth the read & explains how there’s an undiagnosed & misdiagnosed epidemic of B12 deficiency. I have no affiliation whatsoever & only found the book after my unnecessary lengthy ordeal. ua-cam.com/video/OvMxJ6GRBNQ/v-deo.html

    • @si_vis_amari_ama
      @si_vis_amari_ama 3 роки тому +5

      @@soultosoul6645 Thank you for that info. May I ask what type of anaemia did you have please?

    • @soultosoul6645
      @soultosoul6645 3 роки тому +5

      Si vis amari, ama. Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia. It went undiagnosed up until just a few years ago. Everyone was treating symptoms instead of looking for the underlying cause. The very smart hospitalist that cared enough to follow a hunch will forever be in my debt. Doesn’t matter how much B12 is in your system if your body can’t utilize it. Mine can’t due to lack of intrinsic factor. Now I’m the healthiest I’ve been & only on 1 RX. 🙏🏼

    • @saharaalberto4057
      @saharaalberto4057 3 роки тому +3

      @@soultosoul6645 That is very interesting! I wonder if there is a link between Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia and Crohn's disease, because he explains that he has Crohn's? Both are autoimmune diseases, so it kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
      Also, to me he looks exhausted - I do not pick up 'depression vibes' from him. This is total speculation, by the way. I don't know him and I thought he was just acting a part when I first started watching it.

  • @lindamora7
    @lindamora7 3 роки тому +20

    He's so charming and I can't believe he's been battling or going through this.

    • @sarahholland2600
      @sarahholland2600 3 роки тому +10

      Putting a 'front' on it is really common. I do it too. My work colleagues would be shocked to know the real state of my mental health .

    • @samiazaffar7096
      @samiazaffar7096 3 роки тому +3

      He is not a real patient he is role playing. If I am not wrong he himself is from medical profession. They do these sessions for people to learn especially therapist.

    • @fahid3342
      @fahid3342 2 роки тому

      @@samiazaffar7096 He's not from a medical profession and in fact a lot of what he's speaking about are really from his personal life. He really is into real estate, for example

    • @maintaininghope960
      @maintaininghope960 2 роки тому

      He's not... He's acting out a scenario 🙄🙄 aka being a narcissist and insulting people. Videos like these are dangerous for people who have mental illnesses

  • @isabellahobbs2125
    @isabellahobbs2125 3 роки тому +3

    thank you kyle, for putting yourself on the spot like this to help us ppl. God bless

  • @brandytorretta2590
    @brandytorretta2590 3 роки тому +1

    I LOVE this channel so much and I learn so much from these videos! Thank you so much for creating this channel and putting all the work that goes into it♥️

  • @jemgem9593
    @jemgem9593 4 роки тому +13

    Omg that depression example sounds just like mine, including self care issues and over eating when things are bad, yet like many such otherwise functioning persons, I eventually pull myself out of the quagmire. But I'm still not achieving the functioning flow that I crave to survive 🦋

  • @nataschae
    @nataschae 3 роки тому +3

    This was so very helpful. Actually really logical and easy things to do but if nobody ever tells you those things they cannot become tools for overcoming these thoughts and behaviors. Thank you both for this amazing and open session!

  • @natashavernon9828
    @natashavernon9828 3 роки тому +12

    His body language tells me this has turned into a real therapy session

    • @im_saved_by_grace
      @im_saved_by_grace 3 роки тому +1

      I love How REAL he seems I just don't believe in the psychotropics I'm in favor for benzo's as needed for daily anks

  • @25640321
    @25640321 4 роки тому +2

    The content on this channel is 💕💕!! Thank you for the quality information and wisdom!

  • @YesItsJess
    @YesItsJess Рік тому

    Kyle, thank you so much for doing these therapy example sessions and using your experience to make such valuable content. It’s really helpful.

  • @SuperFunkiss
    @SuperFunkiss 3 роки тому +9

    Wow - I see myself so much in Kyle and feel a deep compasion, love and ore for HIM - Feelings and emotions I never would be able to feel toward myself. - It makes me feel so crippled

  • @BinhNguyen-mx8pr
    @BinhNguyen-mx8pr 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you so much for this video. I really appreciate the honesty from Kevin in this video. I could definitely relate. This gave me a lot of hope and motivation to be more involved in my own DBT therapy

  • @EtherBunny1
    @EtherBunny1 Рік тому +2

    Thank you. I feel this is along the line of “finding a joy” (not be happy, but find a joy in the moment)

  • @sosa8968
    @sosa8968 Рік тому

    Thank you for this opportunity I am so grateful to be able to watch these kinds of videos and thank you for volunteering as a patient and being honest and vulnerable

  • @aquickstory2196
    @aquickstory2196 3 роки тому +3

    I love this analogy. the character in pain(me), the narrator telling the story(me) and the audience in attendance watching the play(me).
    A different me in a different role at a different level. Know I need the language for each role.

  • @kidborduin8750
    @kidborduin8750 4 роки тому +6

    This is incredible. Spot on to how I need to alter my thinking and action due to feelings.

  • @plonkosbrazoon
    @plonkosbrazoon 10 місяців тому

    Kyle, you are an incredible source of inspiration for people in my circumstances, your courage with being so vulnerable is incredible, truly a leader

  • @eboogieex18x
    @eboogieex18x 3 роки тому +3

    This was incredible. Thank you to you both!

  • @patralink
    @patralink 3 роки тому +7

    She is so good! I enjoyed watching this very much.

  • @giorgiaalexanderactingothe1892
    @giorgiaalexanderactingothe1892 3 роки тому +15

    I can’t help but wonder if Kyle has ever experienced a trauma informed therapy style after his mother’s death during his formative years. The suppression of emotions that have accompanied him could all be tied up in that trauma. Props to him for his vulnerability here I think it’ll make so many people feel less alone. Truly inspiring work.

    • @daleebersole432
      @daleebersole432 Рік тому +2

      especially considering trauma informed therapy will guide the individual properly into their body while Kyle had the very physical description of bullet holes in his body yet no one can see him bleeding. lots to unpack there

  • @morticiansflamee
    @morticiansflamee Рік тому

    something about hearing essentially finding compromise for the emotional and logical side of your mind in those moments was so relieving, I felt like I learned something I’d been missing for such a long time

  • @bonniel4325
    @bonniel4325 3 роки тому +14

    Kyle and Dr. Judy, thank you for this video. I can see how DBT would provide helpful techniques for dealing with my emotional hi-jacks when I get flashbacks of past traumas and abuse. Looking at at my dogs is a good distractor for me as well.

  • @ceeceeobh2707
    @ceeceeobh2707 3 роки тому +9

    I never knew how to go about therapy...it’s so cool watching you just killing it❤️

  • @beckyv9736
    @beckyv9736 4 роки тому +5

    Love that you have been open with what depression has been like. I too lost my mother at a young age and my father lived far away so not really in my life. It effects you in a way we don't fully understand. Depression runs in my family. It is frustrating when you know you could be so productive and helpful to people but the depression drags you down. Meds and DBT can help but still a struggle cause you don't know when it will hit you. A constant battle between logic mind and emotional mind as well has hormones in my case. It also is holding me back financially as I am a nurse and unable to work do to my third burn out.
    Having 3 baby's, a long drawn out divorce from a man with narcissistic traits and perimenapause symptoms with a difficult job/boss have been the 3 triggers for 3 differant episodes. Trying to figure out what makes me happy, as little stress as possible, at this time, seams to help. I am trying not to be a people pleaser and make time for me. Thanks for being so open. You are not alone in this struggle and learning process❣

    • @YariePerez
      @YariePerez 3 роки тому

      Becky V 💜 💪🏽.... thanks for sharing ur thoughts. I can relate with u. 🙏

  • @wandashouse
    @wandashouse 3 роки тому +1

    This channel is helping me so much! Thanks so much! I like how she describe the therapy it is a different way!

  • @niteshdixit9534
    @niteshdixit9534 4 роки тому +1

    Watching this kind of video is distressing. The metaphor made so much sense that it feels that even differentiating myself into different standpoints is not wrong and bad as I used to believe, a breakthrough. Thank you very much. Very Much. THANKYOU.

  • @jemgem9593
    @jemgem9593 4 роки тому +28

    'hopelessness and helplessness'. Good term. I do feel DBT is very good for teens/ young adults especially 🌞

    • @jefealdente1173
      @jefealdente1173 3 роки тому

      It's good for anyone lol. Not just "teens" and "young" adults.

    • @roflmeowkittehs
      @roflmeowkittehs 3 роки тому

      They didn’t say ‘just teens/young adults. They said in particular.

  • @mollyleonard3184
    @mollyleonard3184 3 роки тому

    I watched this for a psychology homework assignment, and I was so surprised to see that you're here, Kyle! I've read your book, "Wear a Wetsuit at Work: How You Can Become a Marine Mammal Trainer" and that's one of the reasons why I'm in college, getting my psychology degree. It's really comforting to hear that someone I look up to struggles with issues that are similar to mine.

  • @michellejohnson4286
    @michellejohnson4286 2 роки тому +2

    As a new practitioner, this video has been invaluable to me. I've learned so much that I plan to take with me into practice. Thank you (watching again).

  • @UnUsedAndUnWanted
    @UnUsedAndUnWanted 2 роки тому +3

    It's crazy to think that I stopped therapy less than a year after being diagnosed with bpd, come to find this video and relate to it so well. I've apparently been applying this therapy to myself without even knowing it once I started taking care of my own mental health. I refused to be on meds after an attempt. I wanted to do this myself after hating myself and feeling worthless for so long, this was mine. I feel so proud to be where I'm at in life right now and now to know that I've been on the right path the whole time

    • @wawis231
      @wawis231 Рік тому

      How did you know no meds was the right move for you? It's what i intend on trying first but more therapists don't think that way

  • @dawnrobbins5877
    @dawnrobbins5877 4 роки тому +5

    I've noted in watching so many videos how well Kyle presents himself. Not trying to be superficial here, just impressed with how he may struggle yet is able to do it. On my bad days I feel I've accomplished something if I brush my teeth and get out of my pajamas! I've read that so many people are like me, where their appearance starts to be unimportant.

  • @David-ct7pv
    @David-ct7pv 2 роки тому

    She is so great, I love how she talks and help you understand everything.

  • @irismramor9238
    @irismramor9238 Рік тому

    thank you sooo much Kyle for the honesty and vulnerability and therapist for this live session. I just had some realy figth and flight moments today and I am so happy doing instictively 5 senses method before I heard it now. That makes so much sense. Thank you!