I am 20 years old. I got a puppy when I was 7. At 13 years old...today she passed away. It feels like she was a staple in my life and something I could always come home to. Thank you for this video. I made a journal of my feelings and just let it out, cried today. I may keep crying but that's okay. Got her paw engraved and saved a clip of her fur and put it in a plastic bag. Thankfully I am an animal photographer and have already done a photoshoot of her about a year ago. I'm going to print those photos and frame them whenever I get the chance. I am glad she is no longer suffering, but I am still having trouble grasping this new reality without her here physically with me.
I also just lost a dog a month ago that was with us for 13 years and I know exactly what you're talking about as I'm just a year older and she was a constant in my life that wasn't stable at all. I already have a journal but I'm afraid to write about her in there. I don't know why I think that would actually make it real. But I think I'm gonna have to do this soon because I'm just always distracing myself and it's making me so tired.
This video was very helpful. I love that you don't add fluff and get straight to the point. The information you gave will help me with my patients. Thank you!
Wow…… wonderful video that I can clearly relate to… The most inspiring aspect I took away from this video was your calmness and encouragement. Grieving is probably one of the darkest situations to experience, but eventually most of us come out on the other end, you are amazing.!!!You do it all, and I am a transplant from your reselling channel and a forever follower ❤❤❤
Here’s a feeling I didn’t expect when my Mother recently passed - a huge sense of relief. Because my Dad was sick for years and years, and I thought the same thing was going to happen with her. But, no, she was gone within 1 month of finding out she was terminal, and BOOM, just like that my extremely toxic family members that she had allowed to take over the family and control her no longer had any power over me. (Or at least I thought it. There’s still the estate to wrap up, but that’s a whole other thing.) Now I feel guilt about my initial feeling of joy and relief upon hearing the news.
Thank you so much for this video. I Will go to my last Grief Share class this evening after losing my husband January 6 of this year. It is my hope that I can learn how to be that good friend to those who lose a loved one. Your three steps were extremely helpful and simple. I’ll look forward to seeing another video later today or tomorrow
Awesome tips! I love your gift to soothe and calm any fears or rollercoaster emotions with your pleasant way of comforting others and providing ways to effectively cope. God has truly blessed you. Thank God for you Precious!
I just love you so much! All of your videos have been SO very helpful for me going into internship, so thank you for all of your work…and just your general enthusiasm!🙏
My partner died unexpectedly in July 2024. I watched him die all alone in the hospital. I watched the machine as his beautiful heart stopped. 😭 I have nightmares, I can't sleep, and the grief is unbearable. There is no switch to switch it off. There are no pills to make grief go away like the flu. Grief is something words can't explain. I am really sorry to hear about your loss and validate how you feel. 😭💔
This was a great one! Very soothing to watch and informative. This is a tough subject but you made it easy to understand. Going back to watch the videos I’ve missed so far!
This was very interesting Quenby! You have such a calming nature. I feel like I learned a lot of good tools to use next time I'm trying to be there for a loved one experiencing grief. Congratulations on your new channel!
Thanks Nicole, I really appreciate you watching and leaving comments. Thank you for your kind words. All these tips can really be applied to everything in life, right? xoxo Q
My grief is neverending, because he is not dead. If somebody dies, from there you could start recovering, in a way. He is alive but he got very mentally ill and he is always in my life, so there is never a starting date to start recovering for me, every day is a trauma day and a nightmare grief day. He is totally gone but he is not gone
Hi Quenby, This is a great video and such a big topic to take on... grieving is definitely a process. I lost my mom when I was 17, and I’m 54 now... and somehow someway
The Grateful Therapist thanks, yeah senior year if high school not the best time!!! Needless to say its been a rough road at times ... and your story that you share about your own growing up experience really resonates with me... my dad was not the greatest to be left with....but I survived.. a good book I read years ago now was “ Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman... could be a helpful book for an older teen or young woman who has lost the same sex parent.... thanks for responding, and caring... Debbie
We lost our son 4 days ago..worst nightmare ever!! My wife is so lost im really worried for her..she needs to talk with someone.im here but all I can offer is my time and love..im not experienced in grief counseling but I know my wife needs help..thank you
You could contact your local Hospice, they usually offer grief counseling for the community and/or can refer you to someone who understands this kind of devastating loss. Also you could contact your insurance provider and ask for a therapist who specializes in grief. Please take good care.
Very helpful, thank you. All great points and the video covers subjects I never thought would come up such as anger and even regret. I have a question. How do you as a grieve counselor handle questions such as "Where did they (deceased ones) go?" or "Where are they now?" I know that many have their own personal and faith based answers already, but when they don't how do you personally respond? What has experience taught you?
Great questions, thank you. I just ask them what they think. I don't give them my opinion. I don't agree or disagree. I let them explore it. If they ask, I say something like "I have don't really know, I have heard so many people share their beliefs and they all make sense to me and it's a really personal belief" I dont' shy away from any of these questions. I want to be someone they can talk to about anything, even the hardest stuff or the most confusing.
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we will ever face in this life, but I would love for you to know that there is a real peace, comfort and true hope like nothing this world can offer. I would like to share my best friend's story with you. God bless you! Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to: facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/ We would love for you to join our livestream church services @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. You can find us online at one of these three places: www.libertyfaith.net/ fb.watch/fKM-Xk7_dU/ www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=libertyfaith
I feel like there is a lot of things that I can’t say. I can’t ask questions because they’re allowed to share only as much as they want, or try to make them feel better because it might stop their processing. So what can I say during a session? What does it look like?
Good question. I think you can ask any questions that you want, and they may or may not answer and that is okay. I think being a therapist or counselor requires us to be vulnerable too and risk asking the hard questions. I use the concept of "immediacy" which is saying the authentic thing, the truth, what I notice, in the moment. Name the thing you are feeling or thinking like "I know this might be a hard question, and you don't have to answer, but I am sitting here wondering THIS...." Also, I have question cards for grief, and also teens and all sorts of stuff available on etsy at The Grateful Therapist. I am not trying to sell you anything, I just think they could help if you are wondering what I actually ask of clients. Q
I was unprepared for what I’m experiencing having finally buried my mother’s remains, 15 months after her passing. I again feel like I’m really losing it - incredible how rudderless I feel. The feels eventually subsided once, they should subside again. I wouldn’t advise such a long space/time between death and burial, if you can help it.
Hi Lisa I don't have a great way to share the document, but these are some sample questions I put on the letters: What I wish you knew about me.... Something I miss about you....What I wish I could tell you about.... I am sorry for..... I remember when you and I........ My favorite memory is..... Thank you for....... HOpe this helps. Quenby
I suggest you look at pictures of your lifetime. Maybe begin writing stories you remember. Make a list of favorite places, food or anything else that comes to mind. You might even ask others in your family or friend circle that can help you make a journal etc.
Yes you deserve some good grief support. You can contact your local Hospice, which usually offer free grief counseling or ask your insurance provider if therapy with a grief counselor is covered. Take Care!
Wish I could talk to someone about life in general without having to pay for it - especially when you realize that as a human being I should have known some of this stuff - 50 years ago - TODAY'S WORLD is all about dissing you with " Sorry, I am not a councelor or "hey, you really need to talk to a counselor about that"...people need to talk, but no people truly want to talk anymore - nowadays, people are even taking advantage of us with their interview talk-shows on You-tube - "oh, you didn't know that (?) well you should have known that; check out this or that on social media" - like as if that is safe information (?) - NOT! What ever happened to a true safe community of just hanging out to talk with your friends - like the song goes - "You get by with a little help from your friends" - sigh. It is like we do not know how to be friends anymore. I am glad she is talking about TRADITIONAL grieving; but I have AMBIGUOUS grieving. I am blessed with the letter writing notes she shared; because I am often so triggered, I never know what to journal or to talk about; I just get overly emotional and suppress my feelings again, until the next outburst of pain.
Sometimes hospitals, funeral homes, and churches have groups that gather with no cost. You could also create a group at a local library who gather. In this instance you would want to tell folks that what is said inside group is confidential and you can only trust that they are silent. Judging or blame or violence should not be allowed. You could also use library book to guide your discussion group. Best to you.
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we will ever face in this life, but I would love for you to know that there is a real peace, comfort and true hope like nothing this world can offer. I would like to share my best friend's story with you. God bless you! Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to: facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/ We would love for you to join our livestream church services @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. You can find us online at one of these three places: www.libertyfaith.net/ fb.watch/fKM-Xk7_dU/ www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=libertyfaith
You have missed a major issue. Grief is not just about someone u love dying. Thats ridiculous that u should just talk about grief like thats all grief is. Grief can be not having family or not being able to have babies or being childless for other reasons or missing out on a childhood and so somuch more. If u r a real therapist you should know that. Instead u have very much generalised and narrowed thing downtoone thing. Not good
Well in 1:27, she does say grief can be of different types- loss of a pet, a job or business etc and for this video she mentioned she will only be focusing on the loss of a loved one.
I am 20 years old. I got a puppy when I was 7. At 13 years old...today she passed away. It feels like she was a staple in my life and something I could always come home to. Thank you for this video. I made a journal of my feelings and just let it out, cried today. I may keep crying but that's okay. Got her paw engraved and saved a clip of her fur and put it in a plastic bag. Thankfully I am an animal photographer and have already done a photoshoot of her about a year ago. I'm going to print those photos and frame them whenever I get the chance. I am glad she is no longer suffering, but I am still having trouble grasping this new reality without her here physically with me.
I also just lost a dog a month ago that was with us for 13 years and I know exactly what you're talking about as I'm just a year older and she was a constant in my life that wasn't stable at all. I already have a journal but I'm afraid to write about her in there. I don't know why I think that would actually make it real. But I think I'm gonna have to do this soon because I'm just always distracing myself and it's making me so tired.
This video was very helpful. I love that you don't add fluff and get straight to the point. The information you gave will help me with my patients. Thank you!
Thank you for this feedback! I'm happy it was helpful.
I am just about to start placement as a grief counsellor and this video has really given me so much insight and realness of how to be .
You are absolutely correct. Being completely comfortable with death & silence is so very important and essential to bereavement/grief counseling.
Thanks for your comment! Quenby
I am in South Africa and i am Counsellor. I love your content and thanks a lot
Thank you, clients dealing with grief are one my greatest challenges as a therapist.
When your grieving the loss of a spouse and child like I have you also grieve yourself and the person you were and the life you once had for so long.
Wow…… wonderful video that I can clearly relate to… The most inspiring aspect I took away from this video was your calmness and encouragement. Grieving is probably one of the darkest situations to experience, but eventually most of us come out on the other end, you are amazing.!!!You do it all, and I am a transplant from your reselling channel and a forever follower ❤❤❤
Thank you for this wonderful comment. It means a lot to me that my videos help you in some way. Thanks Quenby
Here’s a feeling I didn’t expect when my Mother recently passed - a huge sense of relief. Because my Dad was sick for years and years, and I thought the same thing was going to happen with her. But, no, she was gone within 1 month of finding out she was terminal, and BOOM, just like that my extremely toxic family members that she had allowed to take over the family and control her no longer had any power over me. (Or at least I thought it. There’s still the estate to wrap up, but that’s a whole other thing.)
Now I feel guilt about my initial feeling of joy and relief upon hearing the news.
Thank you so much for this video. I Will go to my last Grief Share class this evening after losing my husband January 6 of this year. It is my hope that I can learn how to be that good friend to those who lose a loved one. Your three steps were extremely helpful and simple. I’ll look forward to seeing another video later today or tomorrow
Thank you Karen for this feedback! I appreciate it xo Quenby
Hope you’ve found peace and happiness again Karen?
Great video. You cover the important points in helping someone to process their grief. Thank you.
I've found this so helpful, thank you ,I've watched it twice to ensure I've taken it all in .
Great short but detailed video. Thank you!
Awesome tips! I love your gift to soothe and calm any fears or rollercoaster emotions with your pleasant way of comforting others and providing ways to effectively cope. God has truly blessed you. Thank God for you Precious!
That is so kind of you to say. Thank you.Quenby
I just love you so much! All of your videos have been SO very helpful for me going into internship, so thank you for all of your work…and just your general enthusiasm!🙏
Your words were so helpful today. Everything you said is exactly right and the way grieving is. A hard and painful process. Thank you .
Thank you very much. Is hard 3months husband passed. can't sleep nitemares
I'm so sorry. I lost my sister 4 weeks ago and the nightmares are terrible
My partner died unexpectedly in July 2024. I watched him die all alone in the hospital. I watched the machine as his beautiful heart stopped. 😭 I have nightmares, I can't sleep, and the grief is unbearable. There is no switch to switch it off. There are no pills to make grief go away like the flu. Grief is something words can't explain. I am really sorry to hear about your loss and validate how you feel. 😭💔
I'll take this into my foundation for what I'm building atm. Thank you for your time and such clarity on the subject! ♡ I appreciate you.
well thank YOU for this wonderful comment. I appreciate your feedback. Quenby
This was a great one! Very soothing to watch and informative. This is a tough subject but you made it easy to understand. Going back to watch the videos I’ve missed so far!
Aw Madelynn I really appreciate your support on this new channel. Thanks for the feedback. I know it's a tough topic . xoxo Quenby
Thanks thanks
This will help me with the client
I have role play in class this afternoon
The issue is grief
This was very interesting Quenby! You have such a calming nature. I feel like I learned a lot of good tools to use next time I'm trying to be there for a loved one experiencing grief. Congratulations on your new channel!
Thanks Nicole, I really appreciate you watching and leaving comments. Thank you for your kind words. All these tips can really be applied to everything in life, right? xoxo Q
This was very informative! Thank you
My grief is neverending, because he is not dead. If somebody dies, from there you could start recovering, in a way. He is alive but he got very mentally ill and he is always in my life, so there is never a starting date to start recovering for me, every day is a trauma day and a nightmare grief day. He is totally gone but he is not gone
You're not alone
Very informative video as a social work student
Thank You so much. Good luck on your journey with MSW. Quenby
Thank you so much , very powerful , I love your voice very calming
Thank you wonderful tips , they work for me .
Great video, as a trainee counsellor, your tips are fantastic - thank you.
I'm so happy to hear that the videos are helping you. Please let me know if there's any other video suggestions you have thank you
Hi Quenby,
This is a great video and such a big topic to take on... grieving is definitely a process. I lost my mom when I was 17, and I’m 54 now... and somehow someway
Ugh, 17 is such a hard time for a girl to lose her mom! Sending love your way. xoxo Q
The Grateful Therapist thanks, yeah senior year if high school not the best time!!! Needless to say its been a rough road at times ... and your story that you share about your own growing up experience really resonates with me... my dad was not the greatest to be left with....but I survived.. a good book I read years ago now was “ Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman... could be a helpful book for an older teen or young woman who has lost the same sex parent.... thanks for responding, and caring... Debbie
Thank you so much for making this video!! 👏❤👏❤👏❤👏
Thank you so much for your content! It has been very helpful!
Wonderful information- thank you so much for sharing 😌
You are so welcome I appreciate you watching! QUENBY
I have no one to talk too except my. Daughter but she has her own life an works a lot I’m so lonesome an miss my love so very much!
Such a helpful video. So appreciated. Thanks
Really helpful information, thank you...
Very helpful well presented
This makes me so happy, thank you for watching 🌸🌷🌷 Quenby
Hope you’ve found peace and happiness again Pat?
Concise and useful. Thank you really much!
Thank you I'm glad you found the video helpful
Great tips. Thank you!!
Thank you. Your video was very helpful.
This was a very helpful video. Thank you from Pakistan!
From Pakistan? That is amazing , thank you!
I recommend this book available on Amazon, "Lessons From a Place of Pain: An Account of God's Healing Power and Restoration after a Great Loss"
Hi Sophia thank you so much! I love great resources that I can pas on to grieving client.s I appreciate the comment. Quenby
@@thegratefultherapist You are welcome. Keep up the great work you are doing!
Hi & thanks, this is a super a helpful video for my pastoral work. If you read this is there a book you recommend for counsellors. C
We lost our son 4 days ago..worst nightmare ever!! My wife is so lost im really worried for her..she needs to talk with someone.im here but all I can offer is my time and love..im not experienced in grief counseling but I know my wife needs help..thank you
You could contact your local Hospice, they usually offer grief counseling for the community and/or can refer you to someone who understands this kind of devastating loss. Also you could contact your insurance provider and ask for a therapist who specializes in grief. Please take good care.
@@thegratefultherapist I always suggest Elizabeth Kubler-Ross stages of grief. DABDA, the acronym breaks it down nicely.
That lipstick is so pretty on you 🤗
Oh thank you! It's a classic red lipstick but then I put a setting powder on it to tone it down. xo Quenby
Very helpful, thank you. All great points and the video covers subjects I never thought would come up such as anger and even regret. I have a question. How do you as a grieve counselor handle questions such as "Where did they (deceased ones) go?" or "Where are they now?" I know that many have their own personal and faith based answers already, but when they don't how do you personally respond? What has experience taught you?
Great questions, thank you. I just ask them what they think. I don't give them my opinion. I don't agree or disagree. I let them explore it. If they ask, I say something like "I have don't really know, I have heard so many people share their beliefs and they all make sense to me and it's a really personal belief" I dont' shy away from any of these questions. I want to be someone they can talk to about anything, even the hardest stuff or the most confusing.
Grief is so much more than just over death.
I completely agree! Thank you I appreciate your comment Quenby
so helpful-thank you.☮️
I am sooo happy this video on grief counseling helped you Quenby
Helpful ideas. I wish I would have done some of these exercises after my mom died.
Hi DacieMay, I know!!! I want more people to know how to cope! It's hard no matter what, !! xoox Quenby
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we will ever face in this life, but I would love for you to know that there is a real peace, comfort and true hope like nothing this world can offer. I would like to share my best friend's story with you. God bless you!
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to:
facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/
We would love for you to join our livestream church services @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. You can find us online at one of these three places:
www.libertyfaith.net/
fb.watch/fKM-Xk7_dU/
www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=libertyfaith
Thank you so much 😊
you are so very welcome let me know what other videos would be helpful
Thanks! I have clients that I see for grief counseling. Your video was very helpful and easy to follow.
Great. Informative 🙂
Glad it was helpful I worked at hospice as a bereavement coordinator for 10 years and I am so happy I can share what I learned. xo Quenby
@@thegratefultherapist please make such video to enlighten us as well. You're really doing great job.
Very helpful
I feel like there is a lot of things that I can’t say. I can’t ask questions because they’re allowed to share only as much as they want, or try to make them feel better because it might stop their processing. So what can I say during a session? What does it look like?
Good question. I think you can ask any questions that you want, and they may or may not answer and that is okay. I think being a therapist or counselor requires us to be vulnerable too and risk asking the hard questions. I use the concept of "immediacy" which is saying the authentic thing, the truth, what I notice, in the moment. Name the thing you are feeling or thinking like "I know this might be a hard question, and you don't have to answer, but I am sitting here wondering THIS...." Also, I have question cards for grief, and also teens and all sorts of stuff available on etsy at The Grateful Therapist. I am not trying to sell you anything, I just think they could help if you are wondering what I actually ask of clients. Q
I was unprepared for what I’m experiencing having finally buried my mother’s remains, 15 months after her passing. I again feel like I’m really losing it - incredible how rudderless I feel. The feels eventually subsided once, they should subside again. I wouldn’t advise such a long space/time between death and burial, if you can help it.
Can I get a copy of the grief letter outline please?
Hi Lisa I don't have a great way to share the document, but these are some sample questions I put on the letters:
What I wish you knew about me.... Something I miss about you....What I wish I could tell you about.... I am sorry for..... I remember when you and I........ My favorite memory is..... Thank you for.......
HOpe this helps. Quenby
I could need greif councilling i am greifing for my brain🤔memory lost how could i help myself
I suggest you look at pictures of your lifetime. Maybe begin writing stories you remember. Make a list of favorite places, food or anything else that comes to mind. You might even ask others in your family or friend circle that can help you make a journal etc.
I need your help
I lost my mom and dad in two years a part I need help
Yes you deserve some good grief support. You can contact your local Hospice, which usually offer free grief counseling or ask your insurance provider if therapy with a grief counselor is covered. Take Care!
Wish I could talk to someone about life in general without having to pay for it - especially when you realize that as a human being I should have known some of this stuff - 50 years ago - TODAY'S WORLD is all about dissing you with " Sorry, I am not a councelor or "hey, you really need to talk to a counselor about that"...people need to talk, but no people truly want to talk anymore - nowadays, people are even taking advantage of us with their interview talk-shows on You-tube - "oh, you didn't know that (?) well you should have known that; check out this or that on social media" - like as if that is safe information (?) - NOT! What ever happened to a true safe community of just hanging out to talk with your friends - like the song goes - "You get by with a little help from your friends" - sigh. It is like we do not know how to be friends anymore. I am glad she is talking about TRADITIONAL grieving; but I have AMBIGUOUS grieving. I am blessed with the letter writing notes she shared; because I am often so triggered, I never know what to journal or to talk about; I just get overly emotional and suppress my feelings again, until the next outburst of pain.
Sometimes hospitals, funeral homes, and churches have groups that gather with no cost. You could also create a group at a local library who gather. In this instance you would want to tell folks that what is said inside group is confidential and you can only trust that they are silent. Judging or blame or violence should not be allowed. You could also use library book to guide your discussion group. Best to you.
My husband just died 5 days ago
I am so sorry Cheryl. Do you have a Hospice near you? Often they provide free grief counseling. xo Quenby
I’m so sorry. How painful. What a terrible loss. I hope you’re doing ok
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we will ever face in this life, but I would love for you to know that there is a real peace, comfort and true hope like nothing this world can offer. I would like to share my best friend's story with you. God bless you!
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a gospel tract. If you or your Church would be interested in passing them out or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to:
facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/
We would love for you to join our livestream church services @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. You can find us online at one of these three places:
www.libertyfaith.net/
fb.watch/fKM-Xk7_dU/
www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=libertyfaith
Do you do grief counseling?
Yes I have been a grief counselor for 15 years. I am only licensed in California.
You have missed a major issue. Grief is not just about someone u love dying. Thats ridiculous that u should just talk about grief like thats all grief is. Grief can be not having family or not being able to have babies or being childless for other reasons or missing out on a childhood and so somuch more. If u r a real therapist you should know that. Instead u have very much generalised and narrowed thing downtoone thing. Not good
Well in 1:27, she does say grief can be of different types- loss of a pet, a job or business etc and for this video she mentioned she will only be focusing on the loss of a loved one.
@@rckawlni136 I must have got distracted. Thanks so much for reply
@@ruthbarnes9999I hope u have found the closure that u r searching for,May u be blessed in yr journey
She explained in the beginning that grief comes in many forms but she also explained that she chose this video to focus on the death of loved ones
Thank you so much!