My parents had something like this, after being together for 17 years they realized that years ago they stopped really loving eachother the way married couples do. They still loved eachother, but never were affectionate and kissing/hugging/saying I love you felt awkward and unnatural to them. So, recently they decided to divorce, they said that not much at all would change, their relationship has still stayed healthy and they don’t act much different as to when they were married. They still communicate well and there’s no custody battle at all, my dad is getting a town home near us and we can just go whenever. Love my parents to death, I’m lucky to have them ❤
Leave quickly and don’t try to fix anything or try to understand them just leave. Don’t do the communication or you’ll live to regret it. If you leave now you’re always going to have an upper hand and you might have it for the rest of your life. Remember, DON’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING, JUST LEAVE.
1. Is the spark still there 2. Do you still share the same goals 3. Are you becoming codependent 4. Are you in different transitional phases 5. Are you feeling burnt out
Outgrowing a relationship is painful for both partners. When I am the one who feels that the relationship has run its course, I have made it a point to be kind but clear. I know that there may be bruised feelings, but I believe it to be a kindness to end the relationship rather than drag things out to spare someone’s feelings.
I just went through a breakup. We had nearly all of these problems. - The intimacy went cold and he was work exhausted - He undermined me taking on all of the household duties and working. He wanted me to continue to work and study alongside him (he works 16+ hr days.) - he said we were together too much, but he wanted to travel and live a nomadic lifestyle which kept me physically isolated from family and friends. - I wanted kids and he didn’t. - He’s reactive when angry and we’re unable to find middle ground during an argument. - He did a lot for me, but I felt like he wasn’t doing enough. He probably felt the same way. We both became resentful and angry. I flew back home and I am now moving forward with my life. To all the people who are going through this, be strong!
This came to me when... my relationship has hit rough times. It literally shocked me out of whatever I was doing. I know I can save my relationship. I'm confident I can.
i really hope you and your partner get through this rough time and grow together. but when you said "i know i can save my relationship" , that made me think of how i was when my relationship hit many rough patches. I tried so hard to work on myself and my relationship, to save it, communicate and give them time and space, but I was the only one putting effort into that, while my partner was unreceptive and avoiding talking it out with me. so I rlly hope your partner is as enthusiastic as you to work on it or at least willing and open to. cheering you on as a stranger on the internet ✨
@JC-ph9uz this is why strangers on the internet are the best. And, me and my partner are both actively working to keep things going, and it's showing promise. Thank you very much for your words. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. I hope you're living life and making the most of this world! Cheers!
0:00 intro 0:44 1. Is the spark still there？ 1:48 2. Do you still share the same goals？ 2:50 3. Are you becoming codependent or are you already codependent？ 3:48 4. Are you in different transitional stages？ 5:24 5. Are you feeling burnt out 6:57 outro
Honestly this also works with other people in your life not just romantic partner when it's time to leave, LEAVE for your own serenity and peace. It very difficult to leave someone you used to love and trust me it's going to be a very long process leaving but you will eventually recover and feel much better.
Yeah I feel you. The worst part is that it's so messy and complicated that you don't even understand what happened and how to save anything. You try but it's not working, not anymore. Silent days apart until one of us sends a message. I feel like we are both hurt by this and sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way. That our friendship is dying, that we grew apart. I don't want to live like that but at the same time I don't want to leave us. And I don't want to be the one that 'gave up' even though I feel there is nothing we can do about its anymore. PS. Thank you for writing that, somehow it gave me hope and peace
I'm going through the same thing (8 years). It hurts even more, because he's a good person and my closest friend on Earth. But we both deserve to be happy...
@@АльбинаНизамиева-о9яHow is it going? How did you know ending was the right decision? I'm having the same situation, almost 7 years together, 3 years long distance, best friends.
@@urboturbo1249 the biggest reason for a break up was that I didn't wanna stay in my home country, and he didn't wanna leave. But looking back now I know there were other things too. Like it felt like at some point he just stopped and refused to deal with his problems, hoping that I'd just be okay with anything. It felt like we just moved at different speeds. Tbh my view on our situation changed drastically since I left my previous comment, as he also cheated and, frankly, he cared more about looking innocent than about the hurt he caused me. So yeah, now I feel like I dodged a bullet. He was never as perfect as I painted him
Communication can only go so far, I knew my marriage was over back in 2022 but I held onto hope but began preparing for the worst, we are two humans who love each other but found our paths are going elsewhere, communication, love and intimacy were there, but last year we found we can't keep our commitment intact, we did a great deal right but it still didn't work out
It is very difficult to communicate with a narcissistic partner. My words and concerns are devalued and ignored. The only way to detach from this unrequited relationship is to simply walk away.
Agreed. I read "Power, Surviving and thriving from narcissistic abuse" by Shahida Arabi, it truly did help me walk away, clise doors permanently, start healing and learn how to gray rock and ignore and flying monkeys. I cant recommend that book enough.... and emdr
This is so timely. Just this week, a former friend called me after not talking to me after 1.5 years just because I already set my boundaries and didn't do the favor she asked then. I didn't answer the call but I asked what she needs. She just asked if I'm available that day. I didn't reply. I've already outgrown our friendship and can't tolerate her attitude anymore
Also, remember that these are not concrete rules that says if you see them, it might be time to move on. Remember everything changes in life and sometimes it might happen in unexpected ways. Also, if you’re a high school student just remember that there’s more out there than the concrete walls of high school and you haven’t experienced life until you step out of the boundaries of high school and into college. ;) Also, I love these videos since it helps many inspiring psychologist and those who want to go into psychiatry understand more about how we can approach and deal with many of these issues. Psychology is a complex topic dealing with how we express ourselves, and what goes into the making of human emotion. Psychology changes lives and our thoughts and behaviors. We have came a long way since the past and we should be proud of that.
As soon as someone started trying to press having kids, (already had them) I realize I started becoming turned off. That wasn't the only thing that put me off, though it was a significant issue. That, combined with them trying to take control of business and money that I don't want anyone having access to, because it's my business. Too many people have done illegal things, or spent when they shouldn't have, which holds up my money I shouldn't have to deal with any of this, and dony want to deal with anything else, esp from someone who is not AT ALL on the same page as I am. By the time they turned their nose up at going to or volunteering at a botanical garden, I realized we do not have the same life in mind at all. I don't need to control anyone, but when you're not walking on the same path at all, it's time to part ways.
Also, your partnership might be experiencing depression, anxiety, and mania due to a lack of consistent feedback within your support network and shared understanding if they 1) frequently doubt your commitment to them, expressing strong emotions but struggle to share their thoughts and plans for the future (uncertainty) 2) often place the opinions of their friends, mentors, and public figures above yours growing the space between you and them (boundaries) 3) publicly accuse and blame you for issues in the relationship without prioritizing discussing them with you directly (gossip) *recognize if your behaviors reflect these issues as they signal a lack of emotional safety and consideration for your partner and support network
Possible solutions 1) Be there for them, even when they don't expect it. 2) Acknowledge that the other's support network is there to support them, and you should respect them more for it. 3) Admit to yourself any misunderstandings you contributed to and show the other person that you ate impressed by their effort, intelligence, and beauty. * Take some time to think about what kind of life you want to lead moving forward.
I think I very well could have finally gotten through to him that I have “outgrown “ our sadly stagnant relationship… hurting this very dear and well meaning guy with my true feelings was gut wrenching, yet simply a casualty of an agonizing but absolutely necessary decision. Becoming courageous , self-respecting and kindly proactive enough took months to muster up! But BECAUSE I finally stepped out of my old self and took action (as I don’t believe he COULD ever initiate) I FEEL SO PEACEFUL AND FREE!!!
a shattered heart that's left in no peace my soul lives on my mind decided ... i want to go ... there is no way they need me here so i must stay .... the mess they made i have to clear ... all i am left with ... its just fear ... never i can dance this dance again ... forever alone ... my skills i must hone ... for when im done ... im already gone ...
this past month I've been struggling a lot with my relationship with my school friends. I think the term "outgrown" them is best fitting! I've realized that I became their friend just to pass the time in school, like there is 0 common interests between us. but when i graduated high school. i thought it's too late to ditch them and make new friends because it requires more time and effort. so in college I was still maintaining this friendship and trying to glorify it in my eyes. but recently I became more aware of red-flags in relationships, and oh boy i found a lot...... i couldn't let myself be in this toxic friendship setting while putting a smily face on. so, I've chosen the isolation path. I became distant from them; not returning their calls, ghosting them etc. and sadly, communication is not an option here because i know they wouldn't understand it and they'll mock me for being "dramatic". so isolation is the only option. good thing i'm graduating college this semester so i won't have to come across them. well, sorry for the large text and bad english. but i really wanted to vent. and as always, thank you so much for videos like these where we feel heard!
Maybe you should talk to them. I know it can be harsh but ghosting them, is as bad as it can be because it can cause them to feel like it's totally their fault, and feel like a bourden. They actually could become more clingy. This kind of behavior on your part could also be toxic. Sorry for my bad English lol
@@mehdunno3610 I kinda didn't. I honestly wanted to get out of the relationship about a year or two ago. But between my overly strong desire to not cause other people pain and my partners very anxious attachment style I stayed a lot longer than I probably should have. It turned pretty toxic and that was the final blow for our relationship.
@@error53ish I've been going back and forth between thinking this is it and wanting to make it work and am not sure how to know/feel what's the "right" thing, hence my question. Thanks for sharing and hope you're doing well
Time stamps for y'all✨🌚 1. Is the spark still there 0:46 2. Do you still share the same goals 1:49 3. Are you becoming codependent 2:51 4. Are you in different transitional phrases 3:49 5. Are you feeling burnt out 5:26
I feel you. I broke up with my toxic long-term ex (15 years). Been single for a year and he still pines for me, but understands that me breaking up with him was the best.
My husband and I had to lose a very close best friend to find each other. Our Narcissistic BFF was the reason was destroying us. We found out that he was telling my husband horrible things and telling me horrible lies that were not true. After we throw away our ex friend... My Husband and I found the spark again
I find that very interesting. Far too often, a relationship doesn't work because there's "someone else" in some shape or form, and one of the two, or both, are not fully invested in making it work. Tends to be someone who does not respect your relationship but is still accepted by one of the two (or both), and that causes separation. It is okay to have friends but even one "friend" who does not respect your relationship will cause separation to begin taking place, because it is betrayal to keep them around.
Timestamps 1). Is the spark still there 0:45 2). Do you still share the same goals 1:47 3). Are you becoming or are you already codependent 2:50 4). Are you in different transitional stages 3:48 5). Are you feeling burnt out 5:25 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Very helpful. I have been wanting to do things in life but feel like I can't. I am currently about to go through a very hard time in my life but I believe what your video states that it will make me a stronger better person.
This could also apply to family members as well. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused me, and i'm sure many others, to reevaluate our priorities in life. It's sad when you've changed but your family members haven't and you grow apart as a result
I'm ADHD'er so I like to jump from things to things. And my partner he's so stable and more grounded. Sometimes I feels like he can't understand what I'm trying to communicate with him anymore.... But I tried. Making him included in my circle or something that I interested that time.
I always watch these videos in case I’m not in touch with the reality of my relationship, but I’m so relieved there aren’t any of these signs for me and my bf ❤ crisis averted
It is sad when the other person doesn't want to open up or communicate. That's a miserable way to live and exhausting. It's best to end it. I had to end a relationship years ago, and I have been single since.
I really love these little videos. They've helped me a BUNCH & are excellent at presenting complex, personal subjects on a very user-friendly level. Great work, guys! You're art work is super adorable, too! ❤ But I think that not enough emphasis is put on the idea of making a marriage work NO MATTER WHAT. As a Christian, I believe that marriage should only be desolved because of adultery or severe spousal abuse, not be an option just because the two of you got older & got bored with each other. People grow & change with time. It's inevitable, but I believe it is dangerous to go into a marriage relationship with the idea that leaving is an option. Thanks!
I had a friend that's really close to me but few days ago she decided to end it. After we have our own occupations, we started to feel disconnected from each other, somehow it's like one sided affection some sort of thing. We argued to each other until she never wanted to talk again to me now. This video does tell me those signs I had at some the moments with her. I hope anyone else can keep your close ones in the reach of your hands
Hmmmm I think this mainly applies to like Youthful ages (below 30). The era where there's life changes/walk different paths. Imagine saying you outgrew someone who's like 5 years older than you and has a higher salary/is the bread winner/has more connections, sounds very off. Instead of outgrowing I think it's more like the couple is no longer aligned with each other. People grow differently and they grow at a different pace too. We don't have control of that. You can still love them though❤.
It's kind of sad the term you "outgrown" the relationship. But, for me, there's nothing impossible with understanding, setting healthy boundaries and proper communication like lit. 😊 I've witnessed a long lasting and satisfying relationship through my grandparents and that made me believe in destiny and love that can be considered as "forever". ❣️☺️
Well I actually had talked about this with my girlfriend and I said that you shouldn't need to be co-dependent on me for everything as it would imbalance the way we react or take action for each situation. Two years and a half into this relationship and I hope for it's stability with reason and good communication, though we may have our moments I still won't consider leaving her ❤.
I haven’t seen one yet, so I have to ask if you can do a video on “empty nest syndrome” for the youngest children in their families? And if you have can you link it at all?
I think it's time. Ive literally been avoiding sex with my girlfriend of 7 years. Not on purpose, I just don't have the desire for her anymore. I think this comes from feeling manipulated throughout the course of our relationship. She's really good with her words, and I just recently realized that she uses her emotions as a tool. So I had to step back and start paying attention to her actions: they don't add up. I've spent the last 2 years observing her actions and detaching from her patterns of fabrication. Now I am ready to break up with her.
what everyone fails to understand is, you don't "outgrow relationships". If you outgrow relationships,get bored,etc,it was never a real one to begin with
I’m just struggling right now. Moved to a bigger apartment and we’ve been fighting more. I know i have a lot of issues. I’m extremely lazy about fixing them and or don’t know how to go about it. I frequently have the feeling that I should just pack up my junk and leave…It’s been hard. My past doesn’t help. I swear my fiancé is losing his patience with me…
It is difficult to communicate with and avoidant attachment style. I feel I have healed from my previous relationship with a narcissist but my partner is not doing anything to deal with the death of her father. Seeking distraction and burying head in the sand.😢
I ended things with my now ex in January. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I still miss him so much but getting back together won't solve anything because I tried everything. He just didn't put in the same amount of effort in the relationship and fixing things so I was putting in way more effort. Now I have a burn out because it was sooo draining. It really is the best decision to break up but it's still so hard and so painfull😢💔
a girl i liked is now at a other school we waved always when she got off the bus and we smiled when we talked but a year before that i asked if she wanted to be my gf she said she wasnt ready but i still have her on a game should i join her and talk a bit when i see her online
Is it possible to get back together? I still got feelings for him and maybe he still got some for me which I’m not sure about though… he’s cold but he’s usually cold to every woman (because of bad experience) but he’s not as cold as to other woman. Still kinda talking as we use to but at the same time it feels different. Sorry for taking that much I’m just frustrated TwT Just wanted to ask that question and love your videos I love this channel ❤
Single me watching this video about what to do and what not to do in a relationship, when I am still single (I don't know, sometimes I think I am a gem) 🗿🥂
I get that she’s bi polar and she can’t help that she snaps a lot. But it feels unfair to me when I have too wait for her to be ready to tell me stuff but I have to tell her stuff and be open right away when I’m still trying to find the right words on how I feel about my self and hardships. And what we do for fun is the same thing. The relationship feels stagnant and I’ve been trying to distance myself to ask if I’m ready to move on but I think can tell I’ve been being distant so she acts nicer towards me. But it shouldn’t take all of this for her to treat me right. I can’t even talk to her about trouble in the relationship without her exploding on me even is it’s something simple like telling me ahead of times if you feel a certain way u don’t have to tell why just let me know so I don’t trigger anything cause I’m not a mind reader
Good things fall apart so better things can fall into place. :3 Your time alone is an opportunity to question what you want and what you're doing to get it. When you reflect on who you are and improve, you become a stronger and more capable person. When you continue to become that person, people will see the best in you. ❤ Self-reflect and you'll enter your next relationship as a better you, who has a better chance of knowing how to improve their relationships and how to understand their partner/friend. You should try to find out who you are and who you want to be. Treat that person with the love you deserve, and you'll find it easy to give others what appreciation they deserve, too~
Psych, i have a question about my relationship, but i would prefer if i would like a personal conversation with you, i just want to explain my situation and i want to atleast know the best decision that i should do
I have one friend who fights with me a lot and because of this my other friend and I are growing apart. I don’t know how to end my relationship with the toxic friend without losing the kind one. (Were in a trio) Do you have any advice?
But in class no one loves me no one cares about they all sit together and start conversation and forget about they sitting together and me sitting alone in the class 😢and I'm an introvert so now I'm from 8 years in the school and still i didn't make 1 bestfriend now what should I do to they give me respect what should I do to they love me please tell me 😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏😭
Does anyone agree that if you see your marriage on the brink of death, weather by fire or ice, you should always try marriage counseling? Sometimes a professional can work wonders on your relationship. Well not all relationships work out even with professional help, it's always good to try.
UA-cam thinks I have outgrown my relationship …. 😂 . The algorithm doesn’t know me at all. I can use this example in any professional relationships. That’s why I am moving to a new city.
EXACTLY. You can FIX things in a relationship and make it grow again. This video is some bs. Just because it’s not easy doesn’t mean to LEAVE or give up. Especially if you both still love each other and want it to work.
The idea can come across that way.. but it can also be read from a defeatist perspective: "We're not capable of compatibility, so it's time to move on". There always are multiple interpretations to an idea until more sentences accompany it to clue you in on its tone and concept.
@@snowarmth If you aren’t compatible in life goals, kids, marriage, etc then sure. But other than that, it’s compromise and if yall both love each other and want the relationship to workout they will find ways to make it work. You don’t just “end” a relationship because you feel like you’ve “outgrown or feel distant from the person” how do you think people stay together 50+ years? You don’t think they hit rough patches and grow apart sometimes? They do. You FIGHT for what you want and love. BUT one person can’t do all the fighting, it takes both.
This video says only about toxic and immature relationships, not all relationships. They say about relationships in which one person or both of them don't want to fix things in their relationship, because they choose ego, selfishness and their own personal interests over love, and they don't care about each other, anymore. That's because in most cases, they never truly loved each other from the very beginning of the relationship. They were just interested in each other and had a temporary attraction based on lust, not love. Also, just because people that once had common interests, can have different interests at some point in time, that doesn't mean they need to break-up, if they truly love each other. They can talk to each other and fix things together, and even learn from each other about their differencies. In a healthy relationship, communication forgivness and understanting are the keys to maintain it. Also there are times when people can argue about certain things, or maybe they're drained from external sources such as jobs or toxic people from their lives who want to hurt them intentionally. But these things happen in relationships and it's something natural. But if they're willing to communicate and if they really want to solve these problems together, then that means they truly love each other, and the relationship can be saved. If a relationship can be saved, then it's a true and mature relationship based on love, respect, understanding, kindness, forgivness and patience. Because love is a choice and a feeling at the same time. You can choose someone and you can choose to feel love for someone, if you want to. But if it's a relationship based only on lust, passion, physical attraction, sex, ego, selfishness, indifference, hate, narcissism and superficial things, then it's a toxic and immature relationship.
Totally agree! I certainly wouldn't claim I said anything that implies I disagree with you! The unfortunate truth is that there are many reasons a relationship might not work out... right person + wrong time, different endgames for the relationship, etc. Not every pair is on the same wavelength, but it's important to fight for it if you know you and your crush really understand one another. It's important to hold onto someone who resonates with the truest you.
How's everyone doing?
Finee 💗
Not good tbh, life is difficult rn and I don't have anybody by my side.
Not the best please do more videos on depression
Not good
Send my crush to the friendzone because I am terrified of relation :(
My parents had something like this, after being together for 17 years they realized that years ago they stopped really loving eachother the way married couples do. They still loved eachother, but never were affectionate and kissing/hugging/saying I love you felt awkward and unnatural to them. So, recently they decided to divorce, they said that not much at all would change, their relationship has still stayed healthy and they don’t act much different as to when they were married. They still communicate well and there’s no custody battle at all, my dad is getting a town home near us and we can just go whenever. Love my parents to death, I’m lucky to have them ❤
The timing of y’all posting this is a scary creepy coincidence
Ikr
I agree. Like i’m not in a relationship but I want to get in a relationship and kinda have a massive on someone at the moment
Real
Yeahhhh
Leave quickly and don’t try to fix anything or try to understand them just leave. Don’t do the communication or you’ll live to regret it. If you leave now you’re always going to have an upper hand and you might have it for the rest of your life. Remember, DON’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING, JUST LEAVE.
1. Is the spark still there
2. Do you still share the same goals
3. Are you becoming codependent
4. Are you in different transitional phases
5. Are you feeling burnt out
Was looking for exactly this comment, thank you ❤
Check check check check check 😮
Are they a narcissist?
@@rosegold959 ❤️
@@tims9434
We always forget to answer "are YOU a narcissist?"
Outgrowing a relationship is painful for both partners. When I am the one who feels that the relationship has run its course, I have made it a point to be kind but clear. I know that there may be bruised feelings, but I believe it to be a kindness to end the relationship rather than drag things out to spare someone’s feelings.
I just went through a breakup. We had nearly all of these problems.
- The intimacy went cold and he was work exhausted
- He undermined me taking on all of the household duties and working. He wanted me to continue to work and study alongside him (he works 16+ hr days.)
- he said we were together too much, but he wanted to travel and live a nomadic lifestyle which kept me physically isolated from family and friends.
- I wanted kids and he didn’t.
- He’s reactive when angry and we’re unable to find middle ground during an argument.
- He did a lot for me, but I felt like he wasn’t doing enough. He probably felt the same way. We both became resentful and angry.
I flew back home and I am now moving forward with my life. To all the people who are going through this, be strong!
Burnt out today for being treated as an option and not a priority, I’m finally choosing me. This video is so timely soothing. 😮💨
This came to me when... my relationship has hit rough times.
It literally shocked me out of whatever I was doing.
I know I can save my relationship.
I'm confident I can.
i really hope you and your partner get through this rough time and grow together.
but when you said "i know i can save my relationship" , that made me think of how i was when my relationship hit many rough patches. I tried so hard to work on myself and my relationship, to save it, communicate and give them time and space, but I was the only one putting effort into that, while my partner was unreceptive and avoiding talking it out with me.
so I rlly hope your partner is as enthusiastic as you to work on it or at least willing and open to.
cheering you on as a stranger on the internet ✨
@JC-ph9uz this is why strangers on the internet are the best. And, me and my partner are both actively working to keep things going, and it's showing promise. Thank you very much for your words. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. I hope you're living life and making the most of this world! Cheers!
@cpm5608 I appreciate your support, man! And, I found the bro/sis thing kinda funny cause I'm nonbinary lololll.
@cpm5608 it's cool! It's cool! No need to apologize. You didn't know. Haha!
0:00 intro
0:44 1. Is the spark still there？
1:48 2. Do you still share the same goals？
2:50 3. Are you becoming codependent or are you already codependent？
3:48 4. Are you in different transitional stages？
5:24 5. Are you feeling burnt out
6:57 outro
Honestly this also works with other people in your life not just romantic partner when it's time to leave, LEAVE for your own serenity and peace. It very difficult to leave someone you used to love and trust me it's going to be a very long process leaving but you will eventually recover and feel much better.
Yeah I feel you. The worst part is that it's so messy and complicated that you don't even understand what happened and how to save anything. You try but it's not working, not anymore. Silent days apart until one of us sends a message. I feel like we are both hurt by this and sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way. That our friendship is dying, that we grew apart. I don't want to live like that but at the same time I don't want to leave us. And I don't want to be the one that 'gave up' even though I feel there is nothing we can do about its anymore.
PS. Thank you for writing that, somehow it gave me hope and peace
@@TheGhostGirl. glad it helped in some way 🙂
It hurts to let go of a 7 years relationship, but our goals are different now
I'm going through the same thing (8 years). It hurts even more, because he's a good person and my closest friend on Earth. But we both deserve to be happy...
Going through something similar, my ex girlfriend and I were together for almost 8 years
@@АльбинаНизамиева-о9яHow is it going? How did you know ending was the right decision? I'm having the same situation, almost 7 years together, 3 years long distance, best friends.
@@urboturbo1249 the biggest reason for a break up was that I didn't wanna stay in my home country, and he didn't wanna leave. But looking back now I know there were other things too. Like it felt like at some point he just stopped and refused to deal with his problems, hoping that I'd just be okay with anything. It felt like we just moved at different speeds.
Tbh my view on our situation changed drastically since I left my previous comment, as he also cheated and, frankly, he cared more about looking innocent than about the hurt he caused me. So yeah, now I feel like I dodged a bullet. He was never as perfect as I painted him
Communication can only go so far, I knew my marriage was over back in 2022 but I held onto hope but began preparing for the worst, we are two humans who love each other but found our paths are going elsewhere, communication, love and intimacy were there, but last year we found we can't keep our commitment intact, we did a great deal right but it still didn't work out
It is very difficult to communicate with a narcissistic partner. My words and concerns are devalued and ignored. The only way to detach from this unrequited relationship is to simply walk away.
Agreed. I read "Power, Surviving and thriving from narcissistic abuse" by Shahida Arabi, it truly did help me walk away, clise doors permanently, start healing and learn how to gray rock and ignore and flying monkeys. I cant recommend that book enough.... and emdr
I can't do it anymore.
This is so timely. Just this week, a former friend called me after not talking to me after 1.5 years just because I already set my boundaries and didn't do the favor she asked then. I didn't answer the call but I asked what she needs. She just asked if I'm available that day. I didn't reply. I've already outgrown our friendship and can't tolerate her attitude anymore
Also, remember that these are not concrete rules that says if you see them, it might be time to move on. Remember everything changes in life and sometimes it might happen in unexpected ways. Also, if you’re a high school student just remember that there’s more out there than the concrete walls of high school and you haven’t experienced life until you step out of the boundaries of high school and into college. ;)
Also, I love these videos since it helps many inspiring psychologist and those who want to go into psychiatry understand more about how we can approach and deal with many of these issues.
Psychology is a complex topic dealing with how we express ourselves, and what goes into the making of human emotion. Psychology changes lives and our thoughts and behaviors. We have came a long way since the past and we should be proud of that.
'Choreographed and lack of passion ,prototypes of what we were.Went full circle till I'm nauseous ' quote Billie Joe Armstrong
This channel is carrying my social life ❤
As soon as someone started trying to press having kids, (already had them) I realize I started becoming turned off. That wasn't the only thing that put me off, though it was a significant issue.
That, combined with them trying to take control of business and money that I don't want anyone having access to, because it's my business. Too many people have done illegal things, or spent when they shouldn't have, which holds up my money
I shouldn't have to deal with any of this, and dony want to deal with anything else, esp from someone who is not AT ALL on the same page as I am.
By the time they turned their nose up at going to or volunteering at a botanical garden, I realized we do not have the same life in mind at all.
I don't need to control anyone, but when you're not walking on the same path at all, it's time to part ways.
Also, your partnership might be experiencing depression, anxiety, and mania due to a lack of consistent feedback within your support network and shared understanding if they
1) frequently doubt your commitment to them, expressing strong emotions but struggle to share their thoughts and plans for the future (uncertainty)
2) often place the opinions of their friends, mentors, and public figures above yours growing the space between you and them (boundaries)
3) publicly accuse and blame you for issues in the relationship without prioritizing discussing them with you directly (gossip)
*recognize if your behaviors reflect these issues as they signal a lack of emotional safety and consideration for your partner and support network
Possible solutions
1) Be there for them, even when they don't expect it.
2) Acknowledge that the other's support network is there to support them, and you should respect them more for it.
3) Admit to yourself any misunderstandings you contributed to and show the other person that you ate impressed by their effort, intelligence, and beauty.
* Take some time to think about what kind of life you want to lead moving forward.
@@jerrodplummer6850 thank you man :))
❤❤❤
I think I very well could have finally gotten through to him that I have “outgrown “ our sadly stagnant relationship… hurting this very dear and well meaning guy with my true feelings was gut wrenching, yet simply a casualty of an agonizing but absolutely necessary decision. Becoming courageous , self-respecting and kindly proactive enough took months to muster up! But BECAUSE I finally stepped out of my old self and took action (as I don’t believe he COULD ever initiate) I FEEL SO PEACEFUL AND FREE!!!
Communication communication communication it is so important
I swear you guys have been spot on with the videos lately cause I’ve been having these feelings lately about my relationship
a shattered heart that's left in no peace my soul lives on my mind decided ... i want to go ... there is no way they need me here so i must stay .... the mess they made i have to clear ... all i am left with ... its just fear ... never i can dance this dance again ... forever alone ... my skills i must hone ... for when im done ... im already gone ...
First time is a warning second time a lesson. I need to put myself first.
this past month I've been struggling a lot with my relationship with my school friends. I think the term "outgrown" them is best fitting! I've realized that I became their friend just to pass the time in school, like there is 0 common interests between us. but when i graduated high school. i thought it's too late to ditch them and make new friends because it requires more time and effort. so in college I was still maintaining this friendship and trying to glorify it in my eyes. but recently I became more aware of red-flags in relationships, and oh boy i found a lot...... i couldn't let myself be in this toxic friendship setting while putting a smily face on. so, I've chosen the isolation path. I became distant from them; not returning their calls, ghosting them etc. and sadly, communication is not an option here because i know they wouldn't understand it and they'll mock me for being "dramatic". so isolation is the only option. good thing i'm graduating college this semester so i won't have to come across them. well, sorry for the large text and bad english. but i really wanted to vent. and as always, thank you so much for videos like these where we feel heard!
Maybe you should talk to them. I know it can be harsh but ghosting them, is as bad as it can be because it can cause them to feel like it's totally their fault, and feel like a bourden. They actually could become more clingy. This kind of behavior on your part could also be toxic. Sorry for my bad English lol
I just ended a 4 year relationship because of the "cold" variant mentioned in this video. Matched on ever single point.
When/how did you know for certain it was time to end it instead of (continuing) trying to make it work?
@@mehdunno3610 I kinda didn't. I honestly wanted to get out of the relationship about a year or two ago. But between my overly strong desire to not cause other people pain and my partners very anxious attachment style I stayed a lot longer than I probably should have.
It turned pretty toxic and that was the final blow for our relationship.
@@error53ish I've been going back and forth between thinking this is it and wanting to make it work and am not sure how to know/feel what's the "right" thing, hence my question. Thanks for sharing and hope you're doing well
Time stamps for y'all✨🌚
1. Is the spark still there 0:46
2. Do you still share the same goals 1:49
3. Are you becoming codependent 2:51
4. Are you in different transitional phrases 3:49
5. Are you feeling burnt out 5:26
Trust me I've been there... I know the feeling...😢
Crazy we’re all going through the same at this time
Could you do a video about psychology behind outgrowing / becoming distant from family?
Up!
I agree
I'm so toxic with my girlfriend, my relationship last for almost 10 years but today is my first day walking alone 😢
Damn brother thats tough
@@marionthebarbarian4734😮
I feel you. I broke up with my toxic long-term ex (15 years). Been single for a year and he still pines for me, but understands that me breaking up with him was the best.
Now you know it was wrong.
So please make yourself a better person, not for others buddy, but for yourself
Now its the 2nd day without her
My husband and I had to lose a very close best friend to find each other. Our Narcissistic BFF was the reason was destroying us. We found out that he was telling my husband horrible things and telling me horrible lies that were not true. After we throw away our ex friend... My Husband and I found the spark again
I find that very interesting. Far too often, a relationship doesn't work because there's "someone else" in some shape or form, and one of the two, or both, are not fully invested in making it work. Tends to be someone who does not respect your relationship but is still accepted by one of the two (or both), and that causes separation. It is okay to have friends but even one "friend" who does not respect your relationship will cause separation to begin taking place, because it is betrayal to keep them around.
Timestamps
1). Is the spark still there 0:45
2). Do you still share the same goals 1:47
3). Are you becoming or are you already codependent 2:50
4). Are you in different transitional stages 3:48
5). Are you feeling burnt out 5:25
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Damn an hour ago I had my first break up and here's your video lol
Damn...
Same here
She said I'm too nice for her and she doesn't deserve my love, lol
All of the things from the beginning were one sided
Holy crap..
Very helpful. I have been wanting to do things in life but feel like I can't. I am currently about to go through a very hard time in my life but I believe what your video states that it will make me a stronger better person.
This could also apply to family members as well. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused me, and i'm sure many others, to reevaluate our priorities in life. It's sad when you've changed but your family members haven't and you grow apart as a result
If you're unhappy where you are, please more forward! Life goes on and so should you ❤️
I just blew it with my partner. The timing is crazy
Thank you so much for this video.
I'm doing good, thank you for asking.
I'm ADHD'er so I like to jump from things to things. And my partner he's so stable and more grounded. Sometimes I feels like he can't understand what I'm trying to communicate with him anymore.... But I tried. Making him included in my circle or something that I interested that time.
I always watch these videos in case I’m not in touch with the reality of my relationship, but I’m so relieved there aren’t any of these signs for me and my bf ❤ crisis averted
It is sad when the other person doesn't want to open up or communicate. That's a miserable way to live and exhausting. It's best to end it. I had to end a relationship years ago, and I have been single since.
I really love these little videos. They've helped me a BUNCH & are excellent at presenting complex, personal subjects on a very user-friendly level. Great work, guys! You're art work is super adorable, too! ❤
But I think that not enough emphasis is put on the idea of making a marriage work NO MATTER WHAT. As a Christian, I believe that marriage should only be desolved because of adultery or severe spousal abuse, not be an option just because the two of you got older & got bored with each other. People grow & change with time. It's inevitable, but I believe it is dangerous to go into a marriage relationship with the idea that leaving is an option.
Thanks!
The best video in the best timing ever.. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤
This is so true😢😅 haven't gone on a date for 13 years since the divorce
I had a friend that's really close to me but few days ago she decided to end it. After we have our own occupations, we started to feel disconnected from each other, somehow it's like one sided affection some sort of thing. We argued to each other until she never wanted to talk again to me now. This video does tell me those signs I had at some the moments with her.
I hope anyone else can keep your close ones in the reach of your hands
Hmmmm I think this mainly applies to like Youthful ages (below 30). The era where there's life changes/walk different paths.
Imagine saying you outgrew someone who's like 5 years older than you and has a higher salary/is the bread winner/has more connections, sounds very off.
Instead of outgrowing I think it's more like the couple is no longer aligned with each other.
People grow differently and they grow at a different pace too. We don't have control of that. You can still love them though❤.
It's kind of sad the term you "outgrown" the relationship. But, for me, there's nothing impossible with understanding, setting healthy boundaries and proper communication like lit. 😊
I've witnessed a long lasting and satisfying relationship through my grandparents and that made me believe in destiny and love that can be considered as "forever". ❣️☺️
Letting go of relationships, Things and behaviors are all rewarding and freeing. All part of growth and continuance .
Yes these videos always come up when I think my ex is up to sumthin or spinning another web of lies to come between us or what ever.
The timing with this video is very coincidential whaaat 😭
Well I actually had talked about this with my girlfriend and I said that you shouldn't need to be co-dependent on me for everything as it would imbalance the way we react or take action for each situation. Two years and a half into this relationship and I hope for it's stability with reason and good communication, though we may have our moments I still won't consider leaving her ❤.
Once again, psych to go never ceases to read my mind. But I’m not ready to let go of my relationship yet.
Maybe that can be y’all’s next video.
Thats why I follow this channel. Always insightful when I need it. Thank you so much!
I needed this video right now.
yup all of these signs are true and yeah they have outgrown me
I ‘outgrow’ my relationships way too quickly to the point I’m not even sure they were genuine in the first place 😔
waiting for someone to make a time stamp
Want my insta ^_^
Great video and provided me with some answers I was looking for.
He outgrouwned me.
Currently having to come to terms that “him & I” are in this place💔
Three out of five….
it’s already over but I wanted to grow old with him 😢
I haven’t seen one yet, so I have to ask if you can do a video on “empty nest syndrome” for the youngest children in their families? And if you have can you link it at all?
Hurts my heart
I think it's time. Ive literally been avoiding sex with my girlfriend of 7 years. Not on purpose, I just don't have the desire for her anymore.
I think this comes from feeling manipulated throughout the course of our relationship. She's really good with her words, and I just recently realized that she uses her emotions as a tool. So I had to step back and start paying attention to her actions: they don't add up. I've spent the last 2 years observing her actions and detaching from her patterns of fabrication. Now I am ready to break up with her.
Thanks. This is really helpful for me❤
Third party, drained my finances, I gave my all.He was not being truthful.deceitful.Karma come to him.
I don't know how to fix things anymore.
U can’t “fix” it, which makes it so hard. Learn how to make decisions that will keep YOU safe emotionally and physically ❤
what everyone fails to understand is, you don't "outgrow relationships". If you outgrow relationships,get bored,etc,it was never a real one to begin with
Everyone?
I needed this 😔💔
I am having some thoughts regarding this and y'all posted this 😭😭😭 is this a sign?????
I’m just struggling right now. Moved to a bigger apartment and we’ve been fighting more. I know i have a lot of issues. I’m extremely lazy about fixing them and or don’t know how to go about it. I frequently have the feeling that I should just pack up my junk and leave…It’s been hard. My past doesn’t help. I swear my fiancé is losing his patience with me…
I needed this
It is difficult to communicate with and avoidant attachment style. I feel I have healed from my previous relationship with a narcissist but my partner is not doing anything to deal with the death of her father. Seeking distraction and burying head in the sand.😢
this had interesting timing..
nice timing
I ended things with my now ex in January. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I still miss him so much but getting back together won't solve anything because I tried everything. He just didn't put in the same amount of effort in the relationship and fixing things so I was putting in way more effort. Now I have a burn out because it was sooo draining. It really is the best decision to break up but it's still so hard and so painfull😢💔
Very sad to hear, but better times will come! How are you doing today?
I’ve only outgrown my partner when I say I’ve outgrown them I refuse give up
a girl i liked is now at a other school we waved always when she got off the bus and we smiled when we talked but a year before that i asked if she wanted to be my gf she said she wasnt ready but i still have her on a game should i join her and talk a bit when i see her online
Honestly i dont know what to do anymore im always the one who's communicating and when i do he just gets mad?
Trust in God/ 4hours later signs your outgrowing your relationship..
Is it possible to get back together? I still got feelings for him and maybe he still got some for me which I’m not sure about though… he’s cold but he’s usually cold to every woman (because of bad experience) but he’s not as cold as to other woman. Still kinda talking as we use to but at the same time it feels different. Sorry for taking that much I’m just frustrated TwT
Just wanted to ask that question and love your videos I love this channel ❤
Single me watching this video about what to do and what not to do in a relationship, when I am still single
(I don't know, sometimes I think I am a gem) 🗿🥂
I’m sending this to my friend
I get that she’s bi polar and she can’t help that she snaps a lot. But it feels unfair to me when I have too wait for her to be ready to tell me stuff but I have to tell her stuff and be open right away when I’m still trying to find the right words on how I feel about my self and hardships. And what we do for fun is the same thing. The relationship feels stagnant and I’ve been trying to distance myself to ask if I’m ready to move on but I think can tell I’ve been being distant so she acts nicer towards me. But it shouldn’t take all of this for her to treat me right. I can’t even talk to her about trouble in the relationship without her exploding on me even is it’s something simple like telling me ahead of times if you feel a certain way u don’t have to tell why just let me know so I don’t trigger anything cause I’m not a mind reader
hi, i love your videos so much
I don’t want to be alone again…
Good things fall apart so better things can fall into place. :3 Your time alone is an opportunity to question what you want and what you're doing to get it. When you reflect on who you are and improve, you become a stronger and more capable person. When you continue to become that person, people will see the best in you. ❤ Self-reflect and you'll enter your next relationship as a better you, who has a better chance of knowing how to improve their relationships and how to understand their partner/friend.
You should try to find out who you are and who you want to be. Treat that person with the love you deserve, and you'll find it easy to give others what appreciation they deserve, too~
Psych, i have a question about my relationship, but i would prefer if i would like a personal conversation with you, i just want to explain my situation and i want to atleast know the best decision that i should do
I think everyone has outgrown me
Yes 🎉 Amanda 🎉 this is awesome 🎉
Great video
I have one friend who fights with me a lot and because of this my other friend and I are growing apart.
I don’t know how to end my relationship with the toxic friend without losing the kind one. (Were in a trio)
Do you have any advice?
Be honest, if you have to lose 2 friends, you will them
Hopefully, I don't have a relationship that i can ruin.
But in class no one loves me no one cares about they all sit together and start conversation and forget about they sitting together and me sitting alone in the class 😢and I'm an introvert so now I'm from 8 years in the school and still i didn't make 1 bestfriend now what should I do to they give me respect what should I do to they love me please tell me 😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏😭
Does anyone agree that if you see your marriage on the brink of death, weather by fire or ice, you should always try marriage counseling? Sometimes a professional can work wonders on your relationship. Well not all relationships work out even with professional help, it's always good to try.
Hoping my crush comes to his senses and dumps his GF for me as she’s a little toxic IMO. Highly unlikely but we can always hope.
UA-cam thinks I have outgrown my relationship …. 😂 . The algorithm doesn’t know me at all. I can use this example in any professional relationships. That’s why I am moving to a new city.
Tbh I haven’t outgrown it. I severed it.
Or you outgrow them and they are keeping you stagnant.
I can't deal with someone like that.
"I've outgrown my relationship" sounds like "my ego is out of control and I can get someone better"
EXACTLY. You can FIX things in a relationship and make it grow again. This video is some bs. Just because it’s not easy doesn’t mean to LEAVE or give up. Especially if you both still love each other and want it to work.
The idea can come across that way.. but it can also be read from a defeatist perspective: "We're not capable of compatibility, so it's time to move on". There always are multiple interpretations to an idea until more sentences accompany it to clue you in on its tone and concept.
@@snowarmth If you aren’t compatible in life goals, kids, marriage, etc then sure. But other than that, it’s compromise and if yall both love each other and want the relationship to workout they will find ways to make it work. You don’t just “end” a relationship because you feel like you’ve “outgrown or feel distant from the person” how do you think people stay together 50+ years? You don’t think they hit rough patches and grow apart sometimes? They do. You FIGHT for what you want and love. BUT one person can’t do all the fighting, it takes both.
This video says only about toxic and immature relationships, not all relationships. They say about relationships in which one person or both of them don't want to fix things in their relationship, because they choose ego, selfishness and their own personal interests over love, and they don't care about each other, anymore. That's because in most cases, they never truly loved each other from the very beginning of the relationship. They were just interested in each other and had a temporary attraction based on lust, not love. Also, just because people that once had common interests, can have different interests at some point in time, that doesn't mean they need to break-up, if they truly love each other. They can talk to each other and fix things together, and even learn from each other about their differencies. In a healthy relationship, communication forgivness and understanting are the keys to maintain it. Also there are times when people can argue about certain things, or maybe they're drained from external sources such as jobs or toxic people from their lives who want to hurt them intentionally. But these things happen in relationships and it's something natural. But if they're willing to communicate and if they really want to solve these problems together, then that means they truly love each other, and the relationship can be saved. If a relationship can be saved, then it's a true and mature relationship based on love, respect, understanding, kindness, forgivness and patience. Because love is a choice and a feeling at the same time. You can choose someone and you can choose to feel love for someone, if you want to. But if it's a relationship based only on lust, passion, physical attraction, sex, ego, selfishness, indifference, hate, narcissism and superficial things, then it's a toxic and immature relationship.
Totally agree! I certainly wouldn't claim I said anything that implies I disagree with you!
The unfortunate truth is that there are many reasons a relationship might not work out... right person + wrong time, different endgames for the relationship, etc. Not every pair is on the same wavelength, but it's important to fight for it if you know you and your crush really understand one another. It's important to hold onto someone who resonates with the truest you.