Do you know if you're being taken advantage of? Here's this video inform you on how to avoid getting into the situation. Share this video as you might help someone else out too!
Can you please make a video about what a dream might mean or relate to your real life? I mean , I have recently started having negative dreams whenever I have one. Like last month I had a dream where I fell into a coma and about a week later I had a dream about being impaled by a metal rod straight through my stomach from back
Yeah. I want a relationship, but it also scares me. Not because I am afraid I’ll be betrayed, but because I’m afraid that if I find the right guy, I’ll treat him poorly without meaning to.
Few things are as painful as realizing that the person you've developed feelings for over weeks/months/years has just been using you to fill a temporary hole in their lives until they find someone they 'deserve' or feel entitled to. That experience was so awful that I quit relationships and social engagement with people in general. Thirteen years later, I'm in a better place, but also have zero interest in opening myself up for that kind of hurt again.
Some guy tried using me. Thankfully I was quick to spot it and left. The guy threw a tantrum when I did and it was so pathetic. I am With you on staying single and have found comfort in raising my rabbit. He brings me peace and joy ❤ I hope you find peace and joy if you haven’t already. Most people out there are looking for a for now not a forever so I am bored and done with them lol
Being objectified and used like you’re not a real person is heart shattering. I went through it too. I left pretty early in most of the relationships I’ve been in like that. But the damage cuts deep.. im single now. And before I date anyone. I’m trying to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. I’m also working so hard everyday to break down those false beliefs instilled by these damaged women, one by one. It’s so painful facing it tho.. To see that culture and a lot of people don’t know how to be intimate anymore.. is being seen as you are such a demanding thing to ask for? 😢
@@AshwinPraveen Apparently, the only way to get seen now is to convince someone you have all the privilege they feel entitled to. Otherwise, you're just seen as a 'waste of time,' no matter how much you care.
Yeah I've been in a relationship like that. It sucks. It sucks even worse when you realise that this is happening when all along you thought it was love. You live, you learn.
@@jjkyosi talking to them and telling them it's not working does not help. They use you and do not want to let go of that. I cut off all communication. That was the only way. No contact. It's time to put yourself first.
That's when the whole confusing kicks in then they either say I'm sorry for everything an next thing you they start attacking you make you feel poo shit in order to make themselves feel better , when it comes to family members they only tell there side of the story not fully until you take with them and you tell them everything what exactly has happened @@RamiSobhani
Growing up, affection was only given through compliance. This turned my love language into service and gift giving. A lot of potential lovers will abuse this part of you. Some may not even realize they are. It's a hard learned fact about ourselves, but recognizing it, will help us in the long run.
When to run: - My personal experience Do not call or stay in touch... Leaves after s*x... Do not spend money on you... Not moved by any of your concerns... Do not learn you... Repeats the same offenses over and over again...
"do not spend money on you"? it depends... if you believe women should have jobs instead of being a homemaker there's no need to spend money on you now if she is a homemaker a man needs to be able to provide for food but if you're talking about gifts, taking you out for dinner to somewhere expensive and other meaningless shit no one has the obligation to spend on you it should be taken as a privilege if they do it not as a right
I just finally broke off a very toxic relationship and these (and much more issues) where all present. its nice to see people talking about it since I was sometimes made to feel like I was going crazy.
@@jjkyosi Hi, some weeks ago I've got out of a relationship like that, so I have some tips: - If what's stopping you is not wanting to make him upset, forget it. You can't light yourself on fire just to let other people warm. And it's also pretty selfish to do this kind of people pleasing - you have to face the fact that some actions that are right for you may upset other people, and it's their problem. Just face it and break up with him. - If what's stopping you is fear of missing him: what's really stopping you here is fear of being alone. It's a valid emotion, but if you stay in a relationship mainly because of fear, you'll suffer a lot. Be corageous and leave it. You'll not miss him exactly: you'll miss what your relationship was in the past, when it's still wasn't bad - see, you'll the memory, not the person. You can't come back to what it was. - If he keeps coming back to bother you but you're absolutely sure you don't want to see him anymore: speak firmly with him, block him and don't look back. But yeah, if you want to see if he can change, go ahead, only you know all the details and can decide propriely. But if you're suffering, I'd say you shouldn't drag this any longer. I dragged my relationship way longer than it should have lasted and it sucked.
I just did the same. It's a bit crazy that I said yes to every single point in this video but throughout the relationship I thought I was the one that was in the wrong.
Congratulations on breaking away from the toxicity. I’ve been there before and I know what it’s like. One day I said to myself that enough was enough, no more drama and chaos. I freed myself of the torture and never looked back. I love my life now and my freedom! Never ever again, no way.
And that's why I hate friendships. It's like playing Russian roulette; you either win and have lifelong companions, or you lose and have lifelong pain. The gamble isn't worth the heartache in my opinion.
Enjoy the experience (bonding) while it last & enjoy being your best self. Dont let those undeserving discourage you from sharing the best parts of yourself (what builds friendships). Don't hate life experiences bc they were shared with those who didnt appreciate it. Dont hate in general. Its such a nasty feel & a waste to invest into. Dont look for time frames either. People die, people change. Enjoy what you have while it last.
One of the best thing's I've learned is when you meet someone; establish reasonable boundaries early on in the relationship. If they don't respect it; that's an indicator of an underlying red flag that can be the base for many types of toxic people.
I knew it. This describes every relationship I’ve ever had. Friends. Family. Partners. Relationships HAVE to be a two way street. Communication is VITAL. And both of you have a say. If there is any unbalance, it’s time to talk. And if they brush it off, give excuses or shift blame? LEAVE. (Nothing good will come from staying and you can’t force someone else to change) Change is voluntary. You have to WANT IT. A Growth mindset isn’t easy. But immensely rewarding. I wish all those who read this, luck in their relationships. And hope they don’t go through what I experienced.
I had a friend who was demanding. She would say that I had to see her when she wanted me to see her. I did this in the past. I don’t see her anymore. Then a few years ago I realised that my mother has treated me badly. She was overseas some of the time and now she lives in my country. She really has treated me badly. Then I realised that the friend that I don’t see anymore was acting like my mother. They are both very insistent when they want me to do something for them!!! So I believe that sometimes our relationships with friends can be similar to the relationship we have with our parents. Sometimes the answer is to say no to them. Sometimes it is best not to see them anymore. With family I think that it is best to avoid them as much as possible.
@@Helen-oh1no Sorry to hear about your struggles. While we don’t pick the family we’re born into, we get to pick the family we want to keep. I choose to believe that friends exist for that reason. They become the family you choose for yourself. There’s very few I call friends and family these days but the few I do? I cherish. I hope you find those special connections too one day. Not everyone we meet in life is exactly like the ones we have chosen to leave behind.
OR, they only email, text, call, message you ONLY when they want or need something in particular, and NEVER just for the sake of talking to you or being around you.
Oh hey, that's me! I'm the one who goes effectively zero contact. I never want or need anything from anyone, I'm completely independent. I leave people on read all the time but I do respond a few times at least eventually. No malice behind any of it, I just have a very off-handed approach to friendships or any type of relationship, really. But if anyone ever messages me for help or anything, I help them in a heart beat, so I'm dependable in that regard.
i have the same they all say yeah you are like family and bla bla bla but the contact only comes from me wanna do things only comes from me but most of the time they always say no to me never involve me into anything the times im with them the only thing i need to hear from them is the things they did with other people etc and it makes me sick to my stomache and for me it hurts even more then getting a knife stuck through your heart because i never had a loving mom/father or sisters that cared for me when my parents threw me on the streets but the one thing i always tell myself is to stay strong and never give up and now its time to find the right friends and leave these narcissists behind in the dirt
I'm so grateful for my relationship. We don't have these issues ether way. The moment one side does something for the other we both feel the need to do something for the other. We check on each other with every decision and value each other's opinions and thoughts.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Why would anyone that wants to disassociate from a narcissist need to hire a cyber expert to track and monitor their activity? That sounds extra creepy. Maybe the so called victim is the actual problem!
I long for the attention that should have been mine, but my parents were always too busy for me. I spent countless hours alone, yearning for the love and care I deserved. It's a sorrowful realization that I should have been cherished more. I still deal with this and it’s still sad. I must deal with this till I move out. When I am older…
all you can do now is address your partner with your concerns and hope that you both will resolve these issues together! if they loved you then they would try, I had to learn that the hard way… If nothing gets fixed then you should leave because trust me there is no point in trying to fix something that doesn’t want to be fixed
Hello guys, during my life I met a lot of toxic, manipulate and other kinds of people. These people come and then just leave you the same fast way they got to you. But everything has better sides too! It might seem crazy but when you meet these kinds of people you realize that you never valued your true friends as much as you should have and more! But also remember manipulators and other people using dark psychology are people too. But as in every live being there is good and bad in them just like everyone else.
I would appreciate a video on figuring out whether a relationship is hollow or not. I’m currently dating a girl who’s been in a lot of bad relationships and has moved too fast in most of them. I’ve moved faster with her than I have with anyone but it’s been her driving all that, and she eventually told me I’m the slowest she’s ever gone (we’ve only be together around 3 months). All the brass tacks of a good relationship are there, we share similar values, we have the same idea on WHAT a good relationship entails (we both think of dating more as courtship) but I’m increasingly starting to feel that we’re both just fulfilling our personal needs. I’m the first person she’s dated who treated her with respect, for me that’s just common nature, I treated her with the same respect I would any woman, that’s how I was raised, but for her that seems to be a wholly new experience and I think she sees in me the relationship she wants and lunged for it but doesn’t really know how to make that relationship a reality. And for my part I think I might just be fulfilling my needs for physical affection. (I’m very touch and quality time oriented). It’s not a _bad_ relationship, it’s just starting to feel like a house without furniture, or like we’re just playing at a relationship.
It’s only 3 months so give it more time. If a woman has been in a lot of toxic relationships she is not used to a gentleman and may take time to really let her guard down. I wish you the best.
I just realized that I always hesitate to watch your videos at first until hours later have passed cause of how close to home they are most of the time.
This video came at a perfect time, it feels like I'm not loved by anyone, family, friends, sister. I'm just a tool everyone comes to me whenever they need help, but when I try to reach out for help... Nobody is there... Nobody is willing to be there for me. I wonder if I'm truly loved or just expendable to everyone around me... I hate my life.
I know it's hard, but have to learn to be your own best friend. Obviously you over-prioritized these people and de-prioritized yourself for them. Just change that and everything will get better
Currently stuck in a "relationship" like this but its just that: I'm stuck. Under ordinary circumstances I would have left her, but here's the thing: she has no car, can't afford a car, and relies on me for transportation to work and other needs. She can't even use public transportation or walk anywhere because she lives outside of town. She has no family that will help her, and no friends that will help her. I'm literally it. If I leave her, she's done. She, along with her pets that I love as my own, will be evicted and she'll be homeless (our living situations are extremely complicated and I'd really rather not get in to it. Just know we have tried SO hard to get a place together in the past. Screw this economy). How do you destroy a life to save your own? I can't do it, and she knows it. The worst part is that I do truly love and care about her and she doesn't give a damn about me and it shows every single day. Its easy for someone not in this type of situation to say "well, just leave her!" and I would say the same thing, but its so much harder when its someone you love. At this point I just wish I'd win the lottery so I could give her some money and tell her to go, or that she just finds a guy that will replace me. As much as the last one would hurt, it doesn't hurt as much as knowing you're being used by someone you love.
“Do you notice when you speak to your partner it goes unnoticed “ later on if you feel some kind of way tell your partner how you feel “ So it too can go unnoticed. To be real though if you are not happy in a relationship and it goes nowhere even after several attempts I feel your pain . More than not these videos will leave you feeling more hopeless . And sometimes seeing something that isn’t there . And people wonder why divorce rates are high and dating is terrible these days . May God help us .
Timestamps 1). Disinterest 0:30 2). High expectations 1:10 3). Boundaries 1:54 4). One-sided 2:45 5). Everyone owes them 3:33 6). Growth and maturity 4:07 7). Communication issues 4:49 8). Hidden goblin 5:24 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This video came jist in time, i needed to see this, im already broken up woth my ex but he wants to remains friends because "he cares about me" yet where was that caring nature when we were together? Nowhere at all😢
I went out with a guy. After a while he said that we were just friends. Then I found out he was seeing an ex. He said that we were both just friends. The other one was the real girlfriend. I was the just a friend. It was a dreadful experience! I do not see him anymore. It is usually best not to see someone when you have broken up. Just friends is a trick. You will never meet anyone good this way. The only exception is if you have children together. If you split up and there are no children don’t fall for the ‘just friends’ nonsense. I do not see that guy anymore. I got married to someone else after I left him. I have been married for nearly 11 and a half years. You could waste years on the “just friends”. Just leave him. Don’t waste you life on being “just friends”.
@@Helen-oh1no yeah I swear, they say the "just friends" line but then they get all pissy when you act like just friends. My ex wanted a hug and even kissed me but then reality hit me and I pushed him away because I didn't want anything from him like that, and I said "I'm crying right now and you want to have seggs??? What about this situation excites you???" And he was "wooden" when he hugged me before he kissed me, I just pushed him out the door, and that the day we broke up.
Being friends with an ex is a trap. It is just asking to be strung along and it just keeps false hope alive and it never goes anywhere just keeps you hanging on trying to rewrite history which isn't possible and can waste years of your life waiting
Looks like I need to improve some things about myself in my relationship, I don’t know how to act in a relationship, so I’m learning as I go. this video helps
At first I was listening like "maybe I was the problem" then it finally got into the nitty gritty and I know I didn't switch up my behavior about how I treated my partner around people the only thing that was different was the PDA cause I'm kinda uncomfortable with it but I never denied the relationship nor did I leave my partner to fight his battles alone. Even if I couldn't get invested with his life because he didn't want me to, I was always interested in getting to know him more but I feel I never really got that or maybe I was looking for a "good side" that never really existed, idk I believe in the beauty of everyone I guess there's beautiful evil too
Thx for reminding me! That Iam superwoman and not a “scapegoat”. That’s not a label for me. Thank you for educating us on toxic behaviours. They stay toxic until the person decides to change. You cannot influence that.
My ex did all of this but I was so blindsided by their words bc they would write paragraphs abt how much they loved me and I was irreplaceable and special and then the next day wouldnt talk to me untill the next evening. Then a gigantic 3 days after we broke up, they were repeating all of that to their new girl. Guess I wasn't so special to that narcissist after all.
this can basically apply to parental relationships as well. ive noticed that my mom has done a lot of these, and while im maturing shes not and is constantly blaming me for everything. she uses everyone around her as tools the neighbor, her mom, my half brother, my half brothers father whos now dead, my father whos now dead, and myself. when i tell her to focus on herself and her heart, she refuses to go and get the surgery, and putting the blame on me for basically "not helping enough". btw, i do the clothes, the dishes, the towels, i occasionally vaccum the floor as well, and organize tables. and thats a lot for me right now, because im constantly stressed and anxious, and ive noticed i also think of a lot of negative shit for a week or two at a time. being constantly told to do more and then tossing dirty dishes and pans in the trash or tossing clean towels in the floor to "make room" is basically just a norm... being made to feel like my work does not matter, is just her turning me into a tool, much like she has with my brother. of course shes dismissive of what i say, and my concerns, among other red flags.
I wish it was clearer like these examples. My last relationship was pretty complex. My partner was complex as far as all these points go. No one is perfect in relationships. I was holding their hand in a divorce/ custody battle. I try not to ever make excuses, while also not blaming. You always have to try your best to be non bias. My point being, it's good to use these as a base. But it just gets tricky with evaluating the relationship and your partner. Subjective and objective truths can easily be blurred in the process.
I can relate to a couple of those points. Many of my partners (and so called friends) loved to be disinterested in anything I would say. I tried talking to one about my being depressed and she just acted like I wasn't even there. Years ago I had many that would not respect my boundaries and kept asking for me to perform risky behaviors, but they would never do the same. It's things like this that are keeping me single, and unfortunately quite alone. It has happened so many times that I no longer feel I'll ever trust another person again.
Another amazing VO from Amanda Silvera 😁🙏😍🌹 Psych2Go wouldn't be the same without her. I very much feel connected to this particular subject, hence why I'm getting divorced.... It's better to be out and alone than with someone who is manipulative and not really as caring as they like to perceive to be... I'm just glad to be free from it, and to have an incredible friend to help me through it as I would for them too. 🙏🌹
What's sad about this is they will never admit they you were a placeholder and it wasn't love. What relief it would bring to know that you were never the problem? So you have to stand on your foundation on your own and know that you were never defective one. Good luck finding your own closure, everyone. ❤
being used isnt a bad thing because it shows me who is real and fake. i give without a thought so anyone who uses me will have very bad luck hope this helps
Reminds me of my ex-husband. I'm glad this video exists because I had to learn it on my own and walk away. 7 years dating, 3 years married. Divorced and still trying to remind myself that I am worthy of being loved and someone is out there who will receive all the love I have to give without resisting or manipulating me.
A good way to see if someone is using you is to require them to reciprocate the help they have frequently gotten from you. If you always help them with something, ask them to help you with something and pay close attention to how they respond. If they refuse to be there for you or help you, you know they’re using you. You can also test them again and again to see if they are ever able to be there for you. Someone who is using you will not like that you ask for their support or help.
This reminds me of Emperor Belos relationship with collector from the owl house. I saw your pictures of the owl house characters. Sweet innocent naive little Collector completely put all his faith and trust in Belos. He thought Belos was really his friend, but Belos was only using him to get what he wanted, and was never truly planning on keeping his end of the deal. Also I used to have this friend that goes to my school, and he always seemed disinterested. I don’t think my friend was doing this on purpose, because he usually didn’t know what to say and talk about. Whenever we were together in person, he would never show interest. I would talk to him about things but he would never ask questions or have anything to add to the conversation, and when I would say hi to him in person he would just look away and give a hand signal, but he would always initiate conversations in text. But in person he would always act like he wasn’t interested in me, even though he still allowed me to talk to him and was still willing to spend time with me.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist, and they check all these boxes. The thing is I was blind to their faults, and then eventually when I started to see them I ignored them for multiple different reasons. The scariest part for me is that everyone KNEW he was toxic and tried to tell me this, but I just didn’t listen. So what would happen if I was in a relationship with someone who put up a facade? Who had everyone else convinced they were an Angel? How blind would I be then? I’m scared
These are the 8 signs you're being used, not loved 0:31 - No. 1 Disinterest 1:11 - No. 2 High Expectations 1:55 - No. 3 Boundaries 2:48 - No. 4 One-sided and Imbalance 3:35 - No. 5 Everyone owes them 4:10 - No. 6 Growth and Maturity 4:54 - No. 7 Communication Issues 5:26 - No. 8 Hidden Goblin As I was scrolling through the comment section, there's no one who put this thing. So, I took the liberty in doing it to save time for those who are in a hurry to watch it :). Note, this is my first time here in the comment section so please be nice as per agreement to the community guidelines, okay?? Btw Psych2go, thank you for helping me in my journey to become a better version of myself. I just wanna say that I've been a fan and one of your subscribers of this channel since I was 13 years old and I'm 19 years old now. One of my old friends recommended me to watch your videos to help me get through rough times and here I am, still alive and well. So kindly pin me for this thumbnail (If you want to. I ain't forcing you, you know?). That's all for now, thanks.
Before I mention what I want to say, I must say that Psych2Go has carried half of my life. I got around places I wouldn’t have without the advices of these videos they make. But look, the problem with these videos is that 99% are signs and 1% are how to deal with them, and thats what I had to find out myself. On top of this, they have 50 videos on the same subject giving you the almost the same signs with different wording. Making extra videos on the same thing is not going to ‘make mental health more accessible to everyone’.
disappointingly all of these applied to my ex, and i held out hope for so long that they would change, but after losing that hope 6 months after of nothing changing i decided to end the relationship, and they went ballistic and threw everything at me saying i was the bad guy that i never loved them and so on, just think of what every ex ever said and thats what they said
This video reminds me of my aunt and uncle. So when they got married, my aunt told my mom that my uncle constantly said horrible things about her and then claimed they were “just a joke.” My mom reminded my aunt that she didn’t have to marry him, but she was determined. Now, they’ve been married for over a decade and have a 5 year old daughter. And my uncle also bought a purebred chocolate lab cuz all his friends have them and he thinks that having one will fulfill his happiness. The problem is that this dog is the worst dog I’ve ever known. He eats furniture and goes after their neighbors and goes to the bathroom where he’s not supposed to. My aunt doesn’t like the dog and really wants to get rid of him, but my uncle told her that one of his former girlfriends got rid of a dog he bought, which in his mind, meant that she didn’t love him, so he won’t let my aunt get rid of this dog. In addition to that, my aunt’s an elementary art teacher and my uncle works in advertising, so he has an easier job than her, but he doesn’t realize that. After work, he makes her do all the housework and take care of the kid and the dog, while he goes off and sees baseball games and concerts. He claims he has to be doing all these activities that cost SO much money or else “he feels miserable.” I hope that either my aunt and uncle’s relationship will either change for the better or that my aunt just gets out of it.
these videos are always so informative and usefull i even reccomended them to my therapist. these videos help me realize things and see things more clearly. my biggest problem from this video is the one-sided part. but luckily these videos help me to stay strong. thank you psych2go for bringing this insight
Yes, I've dated narcissistic people before, and ALL of these apply. Biggest lesson though, SET BOUNDARIES and stick to them no matter what, or else it'll keep happening over and over again.
I had 4 « girlfriends » online but they were all fake and using me 😭🤡 The last girl, Melissa randomly stopped talking for a whole month and then randomly said she’s ’busy ‘ Then she stopped talking again and another month later she randonly said ‘I’m breaking up with you’ and blocked me
I build them up, support them. Stand with them through hell and all. They want more, 3-6 years later i get a text apologizing to me for taking me for granted. I just got done replying to the 3rd message of its kind. I forgive them but love is liability anymore.
I was used as an object to get out of the environment she was in didn't show affection unless I gave her something then she tried to throw me in jail on false allegations, four years later just now getting my life back together and haven't seen my kids in forever
It feels like now that they don't need me, they don't care to talk to me anymore. I know this isn't true but it sure feels like it. Of course when I bring it up I get the same excuse every time, or just no response.
This is exactly what happened with me and my wife. I thought she loved me, but it's my fault. I saw the red flags over the years, but i was blinded by my love for her. It's 29 years I'm married to her and to be honest i don't know why I've not left at this point, all the love i had for her as evaporated at this point, and we hardly even speak to each other
My girlfriend only does the first one sometimes, but I do too sometimes, and she deals with it just like I deal with her. Just for extra context, she's autistic, but she still functions normally, just has trouble with something, and I help her with anything she needs. I have ADHD, and I find it pretty difficult focusing on anything when I'm already focused on something else. We both listen to each other, but we both also have moments where we just zone out completely and forget what is being said, but instead of just saying something like "okay then" or "mhm" we ask each other to repeat it, and try to listen. If that doesn't work, we just text whatever it is to each other, and when we can read it without having issues, then we get back to each other. She's also the exact opposite of the last one. Everyone thinks I'm too good for her, but she's just not social. She likes spending time with me in private and can seem weird and sometimes even rude to me in public, but it's just the fact that she doesn't like being out in public, and hates it, so she's practically guaranteed to be more irritable, because she doesn't want to be in public. Another thing to note is that she doesn't go in public very often because she hates people so much, so I usually am the one to do the shopping and stuff, because it feels like a huge burden for her, so when she does go out, it's super rare, and she doesn't want to at all.
I'm pretty sure I'm being used to fulfill the sexual aspects that are missing from a relationship with someone that he _actually loves_ /goes on trips w/ all the time, & is friends with, etc... (I don't have proof, but I have strong reasons to think this is probably true.) I think that she's someone who he probably loves or fantasizes about loving - but for whatever reason, they're not together. (Or maybe they were, but sexually, they weren't compatible, or just life-wise, incompatible; something along those lines. He's 14 years older than me, so... it could be an array of things.) It's both a good & a bad thing to recognize being used/using others... I tell myself that I'm using him too, to fulfill my loneliness, get a nice small reality escape, & my own sexual needs are fulfilled too. It just feels... a bit hollow, like there's a barrier between us that we don't acknowledge but know is obviously there. We don't understand each other, & it's a weird thing for me, to be so close to someone and feel like we don't know each other. He'll slip up and ask me a personal question sometimes, but then immediately revert away from that once realizing. I don't think we're compatible, life-wise, but... I dunno. It's hard, man! My own doing, but it still is tricky to navigate. Being friends w/ benefits is fine, but feeling like a temporary band-aid on top of a wound that'll eventually heal doesn't feel so... _fine._ I already know that I'm going to be the one that gets hurt, but with knowing that, at least I feel like I have some control over what's going to happen to me. Choosing who we let hurt us/use us, sorta thing... Like knowing we're both being used by the other kinda helps curve the 'blind-side' aspect of the hurt, right?
I knew my abuser would leave forever once I told her everything I knew she was doing cheating and the like alot, I suffered in hopes it was me getting the better of me and not wanting to turn everuone against her setious dr Jekyll and mrs hyde situation then when I did tell her years after we broke up she laughed at me and disappeared forever
It is an amazing and informative video. Thanks for sharing! Also, I just wanted to address that there were some spelling mistakes in the written parts of the video. Please check. :)
It's because of things like these that I grew up a lone wolf. I always feel much better when I do things by myself and not rely on anyone elses' shit. Even in high school I ended up realizing my so much called "friends," had always been fake only because they wanted to host parties at my house.
it’s confusing when everything they do seems like they’re interested and it all lines up, but they mention things not working with someone they’re trying to fix it with
Ever hear of manifesting? Ever realize you yourself are either the hero or saboteur of your physical reality? You will when you learn about manifesting. Your subtle disempowering thoughts are the saboteur of all your hopes and dreams. The narcissistic person in your physical reality, you, yourself manifested. Long before you ever physically met them. Through your previous, negative, sabotaging, dark, dreadful, loss-filled thoughts. So stop blaming others for your crappy subtle self-talk & self-thought.
3 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend, I definitely relate to all of these points, it felt like the effort was split 90/10. This helps reinforce my dession to leave.
Literally 6 and a half years of trying and trying again, sacrificing, and accommodating for way too damn long and she wouldn’t do a damn thing. And every single time I tried to communicate about issues, I was turned down, denied all feelings, and now I was projected to be the bad guy. And now she told me and her friends that I never did the bare minimum and her friends say I never loved her or tried and she can have sex with whoever she wants now. I messed up, too, but at least I tried so hard and it feels like my efforts were just all for nothing. Now she’s in a much better place and mindset, which is good, but it sucks that she just couldn’t do it with me.
You can twist things in which ever perspective you will depending on the narrative. There are some correct things mentioned but a lot of titles- like things that could mean different things without specifying. I think that if she’s trying to support her female community then that’s doing more damage and confusion. There are better ways to get the point across without creating confusion and potentially ruining relationships for those who have poor judgement call nor spine or character to recognise what’s happening. Social media is dangerous! Anyways I’d love to see the male version of are you loved or being taken advantage of…
Do you know if you're being taken advantage of? Here's this video inform you on how to avoid getting into the situation. Share this video as you might help someone else out too!
p.s how do you feel about this animation?
The animation is great! 💙
V helpful video. 👍 10/10 recommend
Can you make a video about how to induce sleep paralysis, more demons, other effects and also lucid dreaming?
Can you please make a video about what a dream might mean or relate to your real life?
I mean , I have recently started having negative dreams whenever I have one. Like last month I had a dream where I fell into a coma and about a week later I had a dream about being impaled by a metal rod straight through my stomach from back
Not me clicking on this to know if I'm loving people or using them. It's a real fear of mine.
I feel you
You like Hezbin Hotel?
Yes
@@ElizabethArriensi do. Live laugh love Hazbin Hotel
Yeah. I want a relationship, but it also scares me. Not because I am afraid I’ll be betrayed, but because I’m afraid that if I find the right guy, I’ll treat him poorly without meaning to.
Few things are as painful as realizing that the person you've developed feelings for over weeks/months/years has just been using you to fill a temporary hole in their lives until they find someone they 'deserve' or feel entitled to.
That experience was so awful that I quit relationships and social engagement with people in general. Thirteen years later, I'm in a better place, but also have zero interest in opening myself up for that kind of hurt again.
Some guy tried using me. Thankfully I was quick to spot it and left. The guy threw a tantrum when I did and it was so pathetic. I am
With you on staying single and have found comfort in raising my rabbit. He brings me peace and joy ❤ I hope you find peace and joy if you haven’t already. Most people out there are looking for a for now not a forever so I am bored and done with them lol
13 years on and you are a completely different person, but I understand the fear.
Being objectified and used like you’re not a real person is heart shattering. I went through it too. I left pretty early in most of the relationships I’ve been in like that. But the damage cuts deep.. im single now. And before I date anyone. I’m trying to understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
I’m also working so hard everyday to break down those false beliefs instilled by these damaged women, one by one. It’s so painful facing it tho.. To see that culture and a lot of people don’t know how to be intimate anymore.. is being seen as you are such a demanding thing to ask for? 😢
@@AshwinPraveen Apparently, the only way to get seen now is to convince someone you have all the privilege they feel entitled to.
Otherwise, you're just seen as a 'waste of time,' no matter how much you care.
You are not alone. I think we all eventually get to this point and say, NO MORE!!
Timestamps:
1- 0:31 disinterest
2- 1:12 high expectations
3- 1:55 boundaries
4- 2:47 relationship feels imbalanced/one-sided
5- 3:34 everyone owes them
6- 4:08 growth and maturity
7- 4:54 communication issues
8- 5:26 hidden goblin
Thanks 💯
Thank you❤❤
Thank you 😊
I thought they meant setting boundaries was a red flag and I was like hold on 💀
I had got all once so I ended the relationship before it became a real relationship.
Yeah I've been in a relationship like that. It sucks. It sucks even worse when you realise that this is happening when all along you thought it was love. You live, you learn.
Hi, can I ask how you eventually got out of the relationship? Apparently talking to them and telling them it’s not working doesn’t help :/
@@jjkyosi sounds like u broke up and they said "no"
Im sorry that you had to go through this situation. You seem kind and chill. Wanna be friends? I can respect you like the valuable human you are...
@@jjkyosi talking to them and telling them it's not working does not help. They use you and do not want to let go of that. I cut off all communication. That was the only way. No contact. It's time to put yourself first.
Same here. How well do I know the feeling. 😔
Just realized I’m being used. It’s a relief to be honest. Thought I was losing my mind. Thanks!
Sometimes it felt like genuine love and that they truly cared, but other times, it seemed like I was just a pawn in someone else’s game.
They're trying to pull a fast one on you by confusing you into staying.
@@nevaehhamilton3493 or they are sometimes loving and sometimes using
That's when the whole confusing kicks in then they either say I'm sorry for everything an next thing you they start attacking you make you feel poo shit in order to make themselves feel better , when it comes to family members they only tell there side of the story not fully until you take with them and you tell them everything what exactly has happened @@RamiSobhani
Growing up, affection was only given through compliance. This turned my love language into service and gift giving. A lot of potential lovers will abuse this part of you. Some may not even realize they are. It's a hard learned fact about ourselves, but recognizing it, will help us in the long run.
sign 1 you click on this video
When to run: - My personal experience
Do not call or stay in touch...
Leaves after s*x...
Do not spend money on you...
Not moved by any of your concerns...
Do not learn you...
Repeats the same offenses over and over again...
that awesome
Not spending money on you, dude, what?
@@Loner-DestroyedWoman Well, who am I to judge, but you'll have to check if prostitution is legal where you live.
@@Loner-DestroyedWoman That line of thinking makes me curious what's the purpose of women in your world view? Sex?
"do not spend money on you"? it depends... if you believe women should have jobs instead of being a homemaker there's no need to spend money on you now if she is a homemaker a man needs to be able to provide for food but if you're talking about gifts, taking you out for dinner to somewhere expensive and other meaningless shit no one has the obligation to spend on you it should be taken as a privilege if they do it not as a right
Hi people from the future, everything is going to be ok!
Hi person from the past.
Hello people from further in the past
@@Yourlocalbush hi person that was from the future
What??
Patron be like:
I just finally broke off a very toxic relationship and these (and much more issues) where all present. its nice to see people talking about it since I was sometimes made to feel like I was going crazy.
Hello, may I ask how you broke it off ?? It’s been hard for me to do so because he keeps coming back and makes me feel bad for them 😩
@@jjkyosi Hi, some weeks ago I've got out of a relationship like that, so I have some tips:
- If what's stopping you is not wanting to make him upset, forget it. You can't light yourself on fire just to let other people warm. And it's also pretty selfish to do this kind of people pleasing - you have to face the fact that some actions that are right for you may upset other people, and it's their problem. Just face it and break up with him.
- If what's stopping you is fear of missing him: what's really stopping you here is fear of being alone. It's a valid emotion, but if you stay in a relationship mainly because of fear, you'll suffer a lot. Be corageous and leave it. You'll not miss him exactly: you'll miss what your relationship was in the past, when it's still wasn't bad - see, you'll the memory, not the person. You can't come back to what it was.
- If he keeps coming back to bother you but you're absolutely sure you don't want to see him anymore: speak firmly with him, block him and don't look back.
But yeah, if you want to see if he can change, go ahead, only you know all the details and can decide propriely. But if you're suffering, I'd say you shouldn't drag this any longer. I dragged my relationship way longer than it should have lasted and it sucked.
I just did the same.
It's a bit crazy that I said yes to every single point in this video but throughout the relationship I thought I was the one that was in the wrong.
They use emotional blackmail, pretend that they need you, they say I can change, I won’t do that anymore. . . It’s all manipulation.
Congratulations on breaking away from the toxicity. I’ve been there before and I know what it’s like. One day I said to myself that enough was enough, no more drama and chaos. I freed myself of the torture and never looked back. I love my life now and my freedom! Never ever again, no way.
And that's why I hate friendships. It's like playing Russian roulette; you either win and have lifelong companions, or you lose and have lifelong pain. The gamble isn't worth the heartache in my opinion.
Or, perhaps start loving yourself first?
I mean, losing friend is bad, but if you feel good alone, you can restart and find new one
It is not. You just attract what you are, so you can reflect and grow.
Enjoy the experience (bonding) while it last & enjoy being your best self. Dont let those undeserving discourage you from sharing the best parts of yourself (what builds friendships). Don't hate life experiences bc they were shared with those who didnt appreciate it. Dont hate in general. Its such a nasty feel & a waste to invest into. Dont look for time frames either. People die, people change. Enjoy what you have while it last.
One of the best thing's I've learned is when you meet someone; establish reasonable boundaries early on in the relationship.
If they don't respect it; that's an indicator of an underlying red flag that can be the base for many types of toxic people.
💯💯💯
I knew it.
This describes every relationship I’ve ever had.
Friends.
Family.
Partners.
Relationships HAVE to be a two way street.
Communication is VITAL. And both of you have a say.
If there is any unbalance, it’s time to talk. And if they brush it off, give excuses or shift blame?
LEAVE. (Nothing good will come from staying and you can’t force someone else to change)
Change is voluntary.
You have to WANT IT. A Growth mindset isn’t easy. But immensely rewarding.
I wish all those who read this, luck in their relationships. And hope they don’t go through what I experienced.
I had a friend who was demanding. She would say that I had to see her when she wanted me to see her. I did this in the past. I don’t see her anymore. Then a few years ago I realised that my mother has treated me badly. She was overseas some of the time and now she lives in my country. She really has treated me badly. Then I realised that the friend that I don’t see anymore was acting like my mother. They are both very insistent when they want me to do something for them!!! So I believe that sometimes our relationships with friends can be similar to the relationship we have with our parents. Sometimes the answer is to say no to them. Sometimes it is best not to see them anymore. With family I think that it is best to avoid them as much as possible.
@@Helen-oh1no Sorry to hear about your struggles.
While we don’t pick the family we’re born into, we get to pick the family we want to keep.
I choose to believe that friends exist for that reason. They become the family you choose for yourself.
There’s very few I call friends and family these days but the few I do? I cherish.
I hope you find those special connections too one day.
Not everyone we meet in life is exactly like the ones we have chosen to leave behind.
Yes and learn to say no, it’s a case of showing them that you can’t be manipulated anymore@@Helen-oh1no. No means no.
Kinda hard to even have a friendship when one side won’t even email, text, call, meet, whatever. I mean, wtf
OR, they only email, text, call, message you ONLY when they want or need something in particular, and NEVER just for the sake of talking to you or being around you.
Oh hey, that's me! I'm the one who goes effectively zero contact. I never want or need anything from anyone, I'm completely independent. I leave people on read all the time but I do respond a few times at least eventually.
No malice behind any of it, I just have a very off-handed approach to friendships or any type of relationship, really. But if anyone ever messages me for help or anything, I help them in a heart beat, so I'm dependable in that regard.
We dating the same dude?
😂@@DoubleOH7thankheaven
i have the same they all say yeah you are like family and bla bla bla but the contact only comes from me wanna do things only comes from me but most of the time they always say no to me never involve me into anything the times im with them the only thing i need to hear from them is the things they did with other people etc and it makes me sick to my stomache and for me it hurts even more then getting a knife stuck through your heart because i never had a loving mom/father or sisters that cared for me when my parents threw me on the streets but the one thing i always tell myself is to stay strong and never give up and now its time to find the right friends and leave these narcissists behind in the dirt
I'm so grateful for my relationship. We don't have these issues ether way. The moment one side does something for the other we both feel the need to do something for the other. We check on each other with every decision and value each other's opinions and thoughts.
I don't know why this topic caught my attention instantly, but it's sure intriguing and something I should take note of I'll say this
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Is this a copypasta? Lol
Why would anyone that wants to disassociate from a narcissist need to hire a cyber expert to track and monitor their activity? That sounds extra creepy. Maybe the so called victim is the actual problem!
That was so helpful, thank you. Your comment was more helpful than the video.
Sometimes a person comes on way too strong and has to be avoided… telling them straight out falls on deaf ears, over and over.
This video is better late than never
Today I lerned, that my entire family doesn't love me, but uses me.
I’m right there with you 😢
It does suck. No way around it. I feel your pain. Support can be found.
I’m sorry that you have had to go through that, I did too. But be strong, independent and walk away.
I'm going through this right now. I'm so heartbroken,and this just confirms everything I thought.
I long for the attention that should have been mine, but my parents were always too busy for me. I spent countless hours alone, yearning for the love and care I deserved. It's a sorrowful realization that I should have been cherished more. I still deal with this and it’s still sad. I must deal with this till I move out. When I am older…
Literally, everything on here
I was with this person for 11 years ....
all you can do now is address your partner with your concerns and hope that you both will resolve these issues together! if they loved you then they would try, I had to learn that the hard way…
If nothing gets fixed then you should leave because trust me there is no point in trying to fix something that doesn’t want to be fixed
Hello guys, during my life I met a lot of toxic, manipulate and other kinds of people. These people come and then just leave you the same fast way they got to you. But everything has better sides too! It might seem crazy but when you meet these kinds of people you realize that you never valued your true friends as much as you should have and more! But also remember manipulators and other people using dark psychology are people too. But as in every live being there is good and bad in them just like everyone else.
I would appreciate a video on figuring out whether a relationship is hollow or not. I’m currently dating a girl who’s been in a lot of bad relationships and has moved too fast in most of them. I’ve moved faster with her than I have with anyone but it’s been her driving all that, and she eventually told me I’m the slowest she’s ever gone (we’ve only be together around 3 months). All the brass tacks of a good relationship are there, we share similar values, we have the same idea on WHAT a good relationship entails (we both think of dating more as courtship) but I’m increasingly starting to feel that we’re both just fulfilling our personal needs. I’m the first person she’s dated who treated her with respect, for me that’s just common nature, I treated her with the same respect I would any woman, that’s how I was raised, but for her that seems to be a wholly new experience and I think she sees in me the relationship she wants and lunged for it but doesn’t really know how to make that relationship a reality. And for my part I think I might just be fulfilling my needs for physical affection. (I’m very touch and quality time oriented).
It’s not a _bad_ relationship, it’s just starting to feel like a house without furniture, or like we’re just playing at a relationship.
It’s only 3 months so give it more time. If a woman has been in a lot of toxic relationships she is not used to a gentleman and may take time to really let her guard down. I wish you the best.
I just realized that I always hesitate to watch your videos at first until hours later have passed cause of how close to home they are most of the time.
big same. my palms get sweaty as soon as I see the notification!
This video came at a perfect time, it feels like I'm not loved by anyone, family, friends, sister. I'm just a tool everyone comes to me whenever they need help, but when I try to reach out for help... Nobody is there... Nobody is willing to be there for me. I wonder if I'm truly loved or just expendable to everyone around me... I hate my life.
Next time any of them ask you for help tell them no. You are not their slave
@@mariatolich4056 I don't have it in me, I'm too much of a bleeding heart
I feel you completely my friend..🤝
Stop being a doormat, just say no, and wait what happpens when you do, you find out really fast who's fake..
I know it's hard, but have to learn to be your own best friend. Obviously you over-prioritized these people and de-prioritized yourself for them. Just change that and everything will get better
Currently stuck in a "relationship" like this but its just that: I'm stuck. Under ordinary circumstances I would have left her, but here's the thing: she has no car, can't afford a car, and relies on me for transportation to work and other needs. She can't even use public transportation or walk anywhere because she lives outside of town. She has no family that will help her, and no friends that will help her. I'm literally it. If I leave her, she's done. She, along with her pets that I love as my own, will be evicted and she'll be homeless (our living situations are extremely complicated and I'd really rather not get in to it. Just know we have tried SO hard to get a place together in the past. Screw this economy). How do you destroy a life to save your own? I can't do it, and she knows it. The worst part is that I do truly love and care about her and she doesn't give a damn about me and it shows every single day. Its easy for someone not in this type of situation to say "well, just leave her!" and I would say the same thing, but its so much harder when its someone you love.
At this point I just wish I'd win the lottery so I could give her some money and tell her to go, or that she just finds a guy that will replace me. As much as the last one would hurt, it doesn't hurt as much as knowing you're being used by someone you love.
Your a sweetheart i am in narcissist relationship really hard. If you need to talk I'm here
“Do you notice when you speak to your partner it goes unnoticed “ later on if you feel some kind of way tell your partner how you feel “
So it too can go unnoticed.
To be real though if you are not happy in a relationship and it goes nowhere even after several attempts I feel your pain .
More than not these videos will leave you feeling more hopeless .
And sometimes seeing something that isn’t there .
And people wonder why divorce rates are high and dating is terrible these days .
May God help us .
Timestamps
1). Disinterest 0:30
2). High expectations 1:10
3). Boundaries 1:54
4). One-sided 2:45
5). Everyone owes them 3:33
6). Growth and maturity 4:07
7). Communication issues 4:49
8). Hidden goblin 5:24
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This video came jist in time, i needed to see this, im already broken up woth my ex but he wants to remains friends because "he cares about me" yet where was that caring nature when we were together? Nowhere at all😢
I went out with a guy. After a while he said that we were just friends. Then I found out he was seeing an ex. He said that we were both just friends. The other one was the real girlfriend. I was the just a friend. It was a dreadful experience! I do not see him anymore. It is usually best not to see someone when you have broken up. Just friends is a trick. You will never meet anyone good this way. The only exception is if you have children together. If you split up and there are no children don’t fall for the ‘just friends’ nonsense. I do not see that guy anymore. I got married to someone else after I left him. I have been married for nearly 11 and a half years. You could waste years on the “just friends”. Just leave him. Don’t waste you life on being “just friends”.
@@Helen-oh1no yeah I swear, they say the "just friends" line but then they get all pissy when you act like just friends. My ex wanted a hug and even kissed me but then reality hit me and I pushed him away because I didn't want anything from him like that, and I said "I'm crying right now and you want to have seggs??? What about this situation excites you???" And he was "wooden" when he hugged me before he kissed me, I just pushed him out the door, and that the day we broke up.
Being friends with an ex is a trap. It is just asking to be strung along and it just keeps false hope alive and it never goes anywhere just keeps you hanging on trying to rewrite history which isn't possible and can waste years of your life waiting
The definition of my life right here. Permanently treated as a tool.
Same here.
Looks like I need to improve some things about myself in my relationship, I don’t know how to act in a relationship, so I’m learning as I go. this video helps
all the best for that
Props for admitting and caring
At first I was listening like "maybe I was the problem" then it finally got into the nitty gritty and I know I didn't switch up my behavior about how I treated my partner around people the only thing that was different was the PDA cause I'm kinda uncomfortable with it but I never denied the relationship nor did I leave my partner to fight his battles alone. Even if I couldn't get invested with his life because he didn't want me to, I was always interested in getting to know him more but I feel I never really got that or maybe I was looking for a "good side" that never really existed, idk I believe in the beauty of everyone I guess there's beautiful evil too
This one is excellent. Some of the drawing expressions are priceless! Love it.
Thx for reminding me! That Iam superwoman and not a “scapegoat”. That’s not a label for me. Thank you for educating us on toxic behaviours. They stay toxic until the person decides to change. You cannot influence that.
My ex did all of this but I was so blindsided by their words bc they would write paragraphs abt how much they loved me and I was irreplaceable and special and then the next day wouldnt talk to me untill the next evening. Then a gigantic 3 days after we broke up, they were repeating all of that to their new girl. Guess I wasn't so special to that narcissist after all.
this can basically apply to parental relationships as well. ive noticed that my mom has done a lot of these, and while im maturing shes not and is constantly blaming me for everything. she uses everyone around her as tools the neighbor, her mom, my half brother, my half brothers father whos now dead, my father whos now dead, and myself. when i tell her to focus on herself and her heart, she refuses to go and get the surgery, and putting the blame on me for basically "not helping enough". btw, i do the clothes, the dishes, the towels, i occasionally vaccum the floor as well, and organize tables.
and thats a lot for me right now, because im constantly stressed and anxious, and ive noticed i also think of a lot of negative shit for a week or two at a time. being constantly told to do more and then tossing dirty dishes and pans in the trash or tossing clean towels in the floor to "make room" is basically just a norm...
being made to feel like my work does not matter, is just her turning me into a tool, much like she has with my brother.
of course shes dismissive of what i say, and my concerns, among other red flags.
I wish it was clearer like these examples.
My last relationship was pretty complex. My partner was complex as far as all these points go.
No one is perfect in relationships.
I was holding their hand in a divorce/ custody battle. I try not to ever make excuses, while also not blaming. You always have to try your best to be non bias.
My point being, it's good to use these as a base. But it just gets tricky with evaluating the relationship and your partner.
Subjective and objective truths can easily be blurred in the process.
I can relate to a couple of those points. Many of my partners (and so called friends) loved to be disinterested in anything I would say. I tried talking to one about my being depressed and she just acted like I wasn't even there. Years ago I had many that would not respect my boundaries and kept asking for me to perform risky behaviors, but they would never do the same.
It's things like this that are keeping me single, and unfortunately quite alone. It has happened so many times that I no longer feel I'll ever trust another person again.
Another amazing VO from Amanda Silvera 😁🙏😍🌹
Psych2Go wouldn't be the same without her.
I very much feel connected to this particular subject, hence why I'm getting divorced.... It's better to be out and alone than with someone who is manipulative and not really as caring as they like to perceive to be...
I'm just glad to be free from it, and to have an incredible friend to help me through it as I would for them too. 🙏🌹
What's sad about this is they will never admit they you were a placeholder and it wasn't love. What relief it would bring to know that you were never the problem? So you have to stand on your foundation on your own and know that you were never defective one.
Good luck finding your own closure, everyone. ❤
It's hurtful...i have a close and only friend like this
being used isnt a bad thing because it shows me who is real and fake. i give without a thought so anyone who uses me will have very bad luck hope this helps
Reminds me of my ex-husband. I'm glad this video exists because I had to learn it on my own and walk away. 7 years dating, 3 years married. Divorced and still trying to remind myself that I am worthy of being loved and someone is out there who will receive all the love I have to give without resisting or manipulating me.
Love and more power to you 🩵🌼
@@Foenix-1313 and to you!
@@ariban 🥹😊💜
A good way to see if someone is using you is to require them to reciprocate the help they have frequently gotten from you. If you always help them with something, ask them to help you with something and pay close attention to how they respond. If they refuse to be there for you or help you, you know they’re using you. You can also test them again and again to see if they are ever able to be there for you. Someone who is using you will not like that you ask for their support or help.
👌
This actually describes my ENTIRE family perfectly! That's why I left them. 😁😁😁😁 ZERO Regrets.
The biggest sign is that you came to this video
That one hurt to read..
😢
I gave myself one more chance for love and got just used again... I cant anymore
This reminds me of Emperor Belos relationship with collector from the owl house. I saw your pictures of the owl house characters. Sweet innocent naive little Collector completely put all his faith and trust in Belos. He thought Belos was really his friend, but Belos was only using him to get what he wanted, and was never truly planning on keeping his end of the deal. Also I used to have this friend that goes to my school, and he always seemed disinterested. I don’t think my friend was doing this on purpose, because he usually didn’t know what to say and talk about. Whenever we were together in person, he would never show interest. I would talk to him about things but he would never ask questions or have anything to add to the conversation, and when I would say hi to him in person he would just look away and give a hand signal, but he would always initiate conversations in text. But in person he would always act like he wasn’t interested in me, even though he still allowed me to talk to him and was still willing to spend time with me.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist, and they check all these boxes. The thing is I was blind to their faults, and then eventually when I started to see them I ignored them for multiple different reasons. The scariest part for me is that everyone KNEW he was toxic and tried to tell me this, but I just didn’t listen. So what would happen if I was in a relationship with someone who put up a facade? Who had everyone else convinced they were an Angel? How blind would I be then?
I’m scared
These are the 8 signs you're being used, not loved
0:31 - No. 1 Disinterest
1:11 - No. 2 High Expectations
1:55 - No. 3 Boundaries
2:48 - No. 4 One-sided and Imbalance
3:35 - No. 5 Everyone owes them
4:10 - No. 6 Growth and Maturity
4:54 - No. 7 Communication Issues
5:26 - No. 8 Hidden Goblin
As I was scrolling through the comment section, there's no one who put this thing. So, I took the liberty in doing it to save time for those who are in a hurry to watch it :). Note, this is my first time here in the comment section so please be nice as per agreement to the community guidelines, okay??
Btw Psych2go, thank you for helping me in my journey to become a better version of myself. I just wanna say that I've been a fan and one of your subscribers of this channel since I was 13 years old and I'm 19 years old now. One of my old friends recommended me to watch your videos to help me get through rough times and here I am, still alive and well. So kindly pin me for this thumbnail (If you want to. I ain't forcing you, you know?). That's all for now, thanks.
Before I mention what I want to say, I must say that Psych2Go has carried half of my life. I got around places I wouldn’t have without the advices of these videos they make. But look, the problem with these videos is that 99% are signs and 1% are how to deal with them, and thats what I had to find out myself. On top of this, they have 50 videos on the same subject giving you the almost the same signs with different wording. Making extra videos on the same thing is not going to ‘make mental health more accessible to everyone’.
Bro I agree with you, I've had the same complaint for a long time :/
Listening to this kind of discussion gives me awareness and reflection if I'm like this or this person or that person is like that. Thank you for this
Thank you, I didn't realize but I showed one of these symptoms in a relationship. And my partner showed several
Yup. No doubt. Wish I could have disengaged years ago.
daam. a placeholder called "partner". i like that one
disappointingly all of these applied to my ex, and i held out hope for so long that they would change, but after losing that hope 6 months after of nothing changing i decided to end the relationship, and they went ballistic and threw everything at me saying i was the bad guy that i never loved them and so on, just think of what every ex ever said and thats what they said
This video reminds me of my aunt and uncle. So when they got married, my aunt told my mom that my uncle constantly said horrible things about her and then claimed they were “just a joke.” My mom reminded my aunt that she didn’t have to marry him, but she was determined. Now, they’ve been married for over a decade and have a 5 year old daughter. And my uncle also bought a purebred chocolate lab cuz all his friends have them and he thinks that having one will fulfill his happiness. The problem is that this dog is the worst dog I’ve ever known. He eats furniture and goes after their neighbors and goes to the bathroom where he’s not supposed to. My aunt doesn’t like the dog and really wants to get rid of him, but my uncle told her that one of his former girlfriends got rid of a dog he bought, which in his mind, meant that she didn’t love him, so he won’t let my aunt get rid of this dog. In addition to that, my aunt’s an elementary art teacher and my uncle works in advertising, so he has an easier job than her, but he doesn’t realize that. After work, he makes her do all the housework and take care of the kid and the dog, while he goes off and sees baseball games and concerts. He claims he has to be doing all these activities that cost SO much money or else “he feels miserable.” I hope that either my aunt and uncle’s relationship will either change for the better or that my aunt just gets out of it.
these videos are always so informative and usefull i even reccomended them to my therapist. these videos help me realize things and see things more clearly. my biggest problem from this video is the one-sided part. but luckily these videos help me to stay strong. thank you psych2go for bringing this insight
Never thought that I’d go back and watch these videos but yep, here I am.
A love bombing narcissist 😢
Indeed... I've been there 😢
Marilyn Manson:
He promised me he wouldn't ask me for pictures anymore, but now he's barely talking to me.
Wow
@@Silencer796 what 😭
Yes, I've dated narcissistic people before, and ALL of these apply. Biggest lesson though, SET BOUNDARIES and stick to them no matter what, or else it'll keep happening over and over again.
And leave off you need to. It doesn't matter how much you've invested. You'll gain it all back later. And don't fear change, it can give you better.
Thanks Psyc2go this video describes what I'm dealing with .
No I'm not being loved i never ever am. It's always the same no matter where i go matter who's around
Currently thinking this about my friend
A really sad video. But also utter relief I've walked away
Im tired of talking to fake people online
Wait til you find out they're just as fake in real life
I had 4 « girlfriends » online but they were all fake and using me 😭🤡
The last girl, Melissa randomly stopped talking for a whole month and then randomly said she’s ’busy ‘
Then she stopped talking again and another month later she randonly said ‘I’m breaking up with you’ and blocked me
I build them up, support them. Stand with them through hell and all. They want more, 3-6 years later i get a text apologizing to me for taking me for granted. I just got done replying to the 3rd message of its kind. I forgive them but love is liability anymore.
I was used as an object to get out of the environment she was in didn't show affection unless I gave her something then she tried to throw me in jail on false allegations, four years later just now getting my life back together and haven't seen my kids in forever
It feels like now that they don't need me, they don't care to talk to me anymore. I know this isn't true but it sure feels like it. Of course when I bring it up I get the same excuse every time, or just no response.
*Smh* All this time, I try to open up to others who doesn't care about me at all.
This is exactly what happened with me and my wife. I thought she loved me, but it's my fault. I saw the red flags over the years, but i was blinded by my love for her. It's 29 years I'm married to her and to be honest i don't know why I've not left at this point, all the love i had for her as evaporated at this point, and we hardly even speak to each other
If your friends leave you out alot then they most likely don’t want you around them.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
Sweet dreams... Great song
🎶Haah HAAAAAAA
(Oooooo waaa ooo)
What about for friends and family? Would these apply to them, as well?
My girlfriend only does the first one sometimes, but I do too sometimes, and she deals with it just like I deal with her. Just for extra context, she's autistic, but she still functions normally, just has trouble with something, and I help her with anything she needs. I have ADHD, and I find it pretty difficult focusing on anything when I'm already focused on something else. We both listen to each other, but we both also have moments where we just zone out completely and forget what is being said, but instead of just saying something like "okay then" or "mhm" we ask each other to repeat it, and try to listen. If that doesn't work, we just text whatever it is to each other, and when we can read it without having issues, then we get back to each other. She's also the exact opposite of the last one. Everyone thinks I'm too good for her, but she's just not social. She likes spending time with me in private and can seem weird and sometimes even rude to me in public, but it's just the fact that she doesn't like being out in public, and hates it, so she's practically guaranteed to be more irritable, because she doesn't want to be in public. Another thing to note is that she doesn't go in public very often because she hates people so much, so I usually am the one to do the shopping and stuff, because it feels like a huge burden for her, so when she does go out, it's super rare, and she doesn't want to at all.
cute
I'm pretty sure I'm being used to fulfill the sexual aspects that are missing from a relationship with someone that he _actually loves_ /goes on trips w/ all the time, & is friends with, etc... (I don't have proof, but I have strong reasons to think this is probably true.)
I think that she's someone who he probably loves or fantasizes about loving - but for whatever reason, they're not together. (Or maybe they were, but sexually, they weren't compatible, or just life-wise, incompatible; something along those lines. He's 14 years older than me, so... it could be an array of things.)
It's both a good & a bad thing to recognize being used/using others... I tell myself that I'm using him too, to fulfill my loneliness, get a nice small reality escape, & my own sexual needs are fulfilled too.
It just feels... a bit hollow, like there's a barrier between us that we don't acknowledge but know is obviously there. We don't understand each other, & it's a weird thing for me, to be so close to someone and feel like we don't know each other. He'll slip up and ask me a personal question sometimes, but then immediately revert away from that once realizing.
I don't think we're compatible, life-wise, but... I dunno. It's hard, man! My own doing, but it still is tricky to navigate. Being friends w/ benefits is fine, but feeling like a temporary band-aid on top of a wound that'll eventually heal doesn't feel so... _fine._
I already know that I'm going to be the one that gets hurt, but with knowing that, at least I feel like I have some control over what's going to happen to me. Choosing who we let hurt us/use us, sorta thing...
Like knowing we're both being used by the other kinda helps curve the 'blind-side' aspect of the hurt, right?
It's sad when a truly loving and mutually supportive relationship turns into one sided and being used 😢
I knew my abuser would leave forever once I told her everything I knew she was doing cheating and the like alot, I suffered in hopes it was me getting the better of me and not wanting to turn everuone against her setious dr Jekyll and mrs hyde situation then when I did tell her years after we broke up she laughed at me and disappeared forever
Excellent points to reflect on!❤
I've accepted that most people are incapable of making the decision to truly love a stranger (not blood related immediate family)
I clicked because I thought it said "8 signs you're not used to being loved" 💀
It is an amazing and informative video. Thanks for sharing!
Also, I just wanted to address that there were some spelling mistakes in the written parts of the video. Please check.
:)
I feel that I've been used. Feels brutal actually 😕
It's because of things like these that I grew up a lone wolf. I always feel much better when I do things by myself and not rely on anyone elses' shit. Even in high school I ended up realizing my so much called "friends," had always been fake only because they wanted to host parties at my house.
Not me clicking this knowing I was in a relationship where someone used me and we broke up in April but I just wanna make sure im not being stupid
it’s confusing when everything they do seems like they’re interested and it all lines up, but they mention things not working with someone they’re trying to fix it with
I don’t need this video to know I was getting used. However the confirmation won’t hurt.
"If you love with the expectation of being loved in return, you are simply wasting your time."
-Adult
Ever hear of manifesting? Ever realize you yourself are either the hero or saboteur of your physical reality? You will when you learn about manifesting. Your subtle disempowering thoughts are the saboteur of all your hopes and dreams. The narcissistic person in your physical reality, you, yourself manifested. Long before you ever physically met them. Through your previous, negative, sabotaging, dark, dreadful, loss-filled thoughts. So stop blaming others for your crappy subtle self-talk & self-thought.
I had to say goodbye to my uh... err.. love and seeing this the signs that are mentioned in this hit it on the head!
Without the first one, all matches. So the divorce is the right decision - I tried often to talk about the problems. I always get ignored.
3 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend, I definitely relate to all of these points, it felt like the effort was split 90/10. This helps reinforce my dession to leave.
Literally 6 and a half years of trying and trying again, sacrificing, and accommodating for way too damn long and she wouldn’t do a damn thing. And every single time I tried to communicate about issues, I was turned down, denied all feelings, and now I was projected to be the bad guy. And now she told me and her friends that I never did the bare minimum and her friends say I never loved her or tried and she can have sex with whoever she wants now. I messed up, too, but at least I tried so hard and it feels like my efforts were just all for nothing. Now she’s in a much better place and mindset, which is good, but it sucks that she just couldn’t do it with me.
Wow! This came right on time!
You can twist things in which ever perspective you will depending on the narrative. There are some correct things mentioned but a lot of titles- like things that could mean different things without specifying. I think that if she’s trying to support her female community then that’s doing more damage and confusion. There are better ways to get the point across without creating confusion and potentially ruining relationships for those who have poor judgement call nor spine or character to recognise what’s happening. Social media is dangerous! Anyways I’d love to see the male version of are you loved or being taken advantage of…