10 Behaviors that Destroy Relationships
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- Why do relationships fall apart? Relationships can be complicated and fragile. Small mistakes can destroy yours of love, passion, and trust. But you may not realize what you’re doing wrong until it's too late. So, to help you avoid these behaviors, here are a few common behaviors that can damage any relationship.
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Writer: Tristan Reed
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Nayeli Meneses
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
bit.ly/3gFERrY
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Yes.
Ya
I'll still sub :)
@@jennyneon Hope the content won't disappoint!
I am here early
Me who is single AF: Interesting.
Same
Same XD
It is better. Concentrate on developing yourself
Even when single AF you have relationships. Working relationships and family relationships can also be looked at through this video I feel.
Dude you so cool i just subscribed
Edit:youtube unsubscribed me so i had to resubscribe
*Having a partner that doesn't love you but you love him hurts the most.*
Agreed except In my case it's her.
Oh mate tell me about it, I just ended a relationship like that 😐
Or being told after the end of the relationship that they never actually loved you the way they’ve always said they have ..
@@jennyneon Nah don't worry I'm over it already, it only kinda hurts :3
That can happen when you don't love yourself
This is incredibly hard to watch when you have left the honeymoon phase, especially if you are practicing some of these habits. I can say that right now I am feeling my heart sink watching this and will remedy my actions because the person I love deserves better.
If they deserve better, are you going to DO better, or let them find better?
@@nicolebridges3366 he said he’s “gonna remedy his actions” so meaning he’s changing for the better coz his other half deserves it
Could I ask how long did it take for you to get out of the honeymoon phase?
@Daniel Chaote I’m glad you’re now self-aware…did you apply your newly found super powers? Here we are a year later-what happened?
^^
I had to end my relationship because we could never do anything without his “girl best friend” it put me in an uncomfortable spot, once I asked if I could bring my boy best friend to meet his “girl best friend” and straight up said “Are you cheating on me!?” I was confused.. I ended up finding out that they were secretly dating so ended that relationship.
Wow😕
im so sorry you deserve someone better
@@usersnoone thank both of you
I’m glad you got out of that. You deserve so much better
@@ongang2744 thank you 🙏 ☺️
Don't enter into relationships with emotionally unavailable people!!!
So true...I recently broke up due to it!!😣
Really hard though when you meet a narcissist. They don't tend to give red flags initially.
I was in a good friendship then they became emotionally unavailable and tried to be there but took a toll on me and she became another person
@@bread1055 same! My partner is stone walling me
Haha and how do you know they are emotionally unavailable??
Didn’t realize how many toxic habits I had.. thank you for showing me what I can work on 💛
Same 😭
No worries! We hope this has helped you! How do you plan to change these habits?
Reality check😭
😭
Yeah
Laziness also kills a relationship
true
There are alot more things that kill a relationship
When trying to share this video with them becomes a literal fight...😢
Best to talk separately like you’re the expert.
I don't think sending them a video like this is the best way though. The better way to do it is to talk abt it like how the person above me said ^
A big red flag 4 sure
Just do it, what could possibly go wrong?
If they get mad and ask if theyre not good enough then simply juat say that you want to stable your relationship. Although until now its probably over but I hope not
The distraction one bothers me so much. With friendships too. If you’re gonna be texting someone else the whole time why bother hanging out?
one of my biggest pet peeves too gf
Yessss I invited 2 friend over to my birthday party once and they only talked to each other or were on their phones the WHOLE TIME. And now they wonder why I'm avoiding them 😐
@@derkatzenmensch220 oh nooo I’m so sorry
Honestly though
Ugh I have that too 🥲🙃 like I have this one friend that does check up on me... but when I'm with her she only really talks about her toxic relationship and never really asks me how I am doing or what's currently going on in my life... and when I'm talking or telling something.. she's distracted by her phone or playing with cats. And really I don't know why but people keep doing this with me...
To anyone in a relationship
Do NOT constantly bring up old relationships constantly. Don’t compare your partner to you ex ever, whether they were a good ex or a bad ex. Either way you’ll make them feel insecure and terrible. Don’t try and make them change some things about themself just because it reminds you of an ex. It’s damaging to the relationship.
Omg...this is exactly what I went through!!!!🥺🥺🥺
Yep
This is really hard when your ex gave you massive amounts of trauma :(
At start I would tell him anything about my ex and what I've been through so he knows. My ex left me with a lot of trauma which is now a part of me. then I'd only mention my ex if I needed to and if I wanted to compare them in a good way (for example "you care about my feelings while he didn't and I appreciate this").
Very true comment🤔👍👍
I made some of these mistakes ngl.. especially idealizing my partner and expecting too much. and she too made a few of these mistakes. Combined, it became our downfall.
I was so ready for a relationship.. I was so ready to make it till the end. It broke me when we can't make it work. I know we love each other, but I don't think we have the same definition of love. Our language is different, and she wasn't open to make a change. And I wasn't open to accept things how it is. It hurts.
I got my help from someone, he was the only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem ❤️❤️❤️
Text me via what’s app for recommendation ❤️❤️❤️
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From Los Angeles ❤️❤️❤️
My boyfriend have opposite love languages and everything but I communicated to him what I needed and I figured out what he needed. He’s uncomfortable with too much touch and stuff but he always tries to hold my hand for me or hug me.
People think you need to be the same for it to work but I think you just need to even eachother out and strengthen where they are weak
oh God, I think the same thing happens, our definition of love is not the same… I do not want to change him, I do not want him to feel that he is not himself when he is with me.😔
me and my partner both do many of the things on the list and we’re certainly in a rocky patch. the relationship could very well end. this is helping me pin point some of these behaviors and i thank you guys for that, hopefully this video can help us both keep from sabotaging our relationship down the road
perhaps share this video with your partner and talk about it see what you can find out about each other. Your partner might very well have some things to point out about you and you can both help each other
How did it go?
Just being interested over here :D
Hope you either figured it out or have been able to handle the break up !! Would be much better if you could work through that tough patch but honestly, whatever is healthiest is best !
Hopefully my girlfriend and I will learn from this.
1. You stonewall your partner 0:44
2. You're too distracted 1:18
3. You get defensive 1:43
4. You criticize too often 2:22
5. You idealize your partner 2:45
6. You ignore your past 3:09
7. You mislead your partner 3:39
8. You create competition 4:13
9. You shame your partner 4:38
10. You expect too much 4:58
I hope I could help! :D
Thank you for putting the timestamps.
@@Idk-lm1gj lol
@@andyseinfeld1954 thanks for clarifying
My god, my boyfriend and I do all of them(he does some, I do others)
"You expect too much" such as....when they say they will do something, expecting them to actually do it?
Friendships are like plants; if you don't water them, they die.
And if you water them too much then they will die
Friends are like snowflakes when you pee on them they dissapear
@@user-ps8cu3vt8e Ah, yes, as spoken by Confucius himself.
Retro sims vibes
@@user-ps8cu3vt8e Unless they're into that.
"You expect your partner to know what you want and what you're thinking all the time, but that's entirely unfair to them. It's your responsibility to vocalize the things you want. If you don't express yourself, your partner will never know anything is wrong. If you expect your partner to magically know all the answers, your relationship may slowly fall apart." this 🙌
Watching this made me realize how much I’ve grown, where I used to display a lot of these behaviours in response to being in a toxic relationship (which I left) but now I can happily say I do none of these things 🥺 thank you for this, I didn’t realize how far I’ve come over the past year
I think you should add "not knowing when to apologise" to the list
Indeed
THIS
I fit on this topic on both ends 😂
YES!
Very True.
Not gonna lie, I exhibit some of these things, and I worry about losing my girlfriend over this. My girlfriend already tells me these things, but sometimes it’s hard for me to see them. I needed this today especially: thank you for sharing and helping me realize my faults so I may fix them and keep my relationship alive.
I think the fact that you acknowledge your faults is a positive & shows that you truly wish to improve. Love & light.
@@ladylightvybe4138 thank you for saying that. Sometimes I’m hard on myself and let my mistakes make me think less of myself. I’m trying to shake that off and be better
You’re an inspiration to those of us who are too in a similar position as you, acknowledgement and a desire to improve our behaviour is so key!!
@@kendallkhoward you are already on your way & give yourself credit that you self reflect & want to be better. Kudos to you.
But if u do these things, how do u change and fix them if your so scared 🥺.
My 3 years relationship ended just a few days ago and after watching this I just realized that we both killed our relationship without knowing it /:
🤦🏾♀️😔
Que rabia yo intento no dañar el mío, pero el chico no le gusta hablar… esta es mi primera relación y él ya ha tenido muchas, tal vez tenga algunos traumas con sus ex porque se la pasaban criticándolo a él y su forma de ser y yo no quiero que él se sienta de esa manera , quiero que se sienta seguro conmigo pero algo que he notado es que siempre me está buscando errores para decirme que sus ex le decían lo mismo, yo sólo quiero quererle, amarle y que estemos bien pero no ayuda, 😔, intento hablarle de algún comportamiento suyo, se pone a la defensiva, y me tengo que callar porque no quiero que ultime terminándome☹️, ya sé… me he pillado muchísimo 😔, él es mi primer todo y no le quiero perder. Si al final terminamos me dolerá muchísimo.
And, he really mislead me, which really broke my heart. Instead of taking the time to get to know me, apparently I was absolutely Perfect after a few weeks. He made so many future plans. Moving in, marriage, a child, sharing his vehicle.........If I was so amazing, perfect and the love of his life, Where is he now????
Behaviour that destroys relationships: not liking me back 😔🤚🏼
I felt that
We love you though. Does that count?
same @psych2go awe
@@Psych2go aww l love youuuu!
@@Psych2go I guess that’s something 😔🤚🏼
You can’t imagine how much you have helped me for the past years..
So glad to hear.. hope we continue to help!
@@Psych2go We hope so too! Dont slack off on us! LOL
:)
I watched this about two months ago and realised I was doing two of these things, which I immediately addressed and now I have rewatched and smiled knowing I now do none, thank you for making me aware of my behaviours, because of this video me and my girlfriend were able to talk about this and change and now we are healthier than ever!
Hell yeah !
Yep, vocalize what you want instead of just breaking up, cause if you truly loved one another, not only will a break up suck ass, but you will realize sooner or later that you've done a mistake, and it might just be too late to say "sorry..." .
So trueeeee
“You create competition” this one is so true everytime i got achievement for something i’ve done, they always criticize and degrade like its not something to be proud of. its like they’re not happy because of my success
Been there. The one person you're most excited to share these things with somehow makes you feel bad about it. Constantly making things about them somehow and making you feel bad about succeeding. They aren't happy for you, but jealous. Super weird
Run...
so sorry this is irrelevant but SCARAMOUCHE??? THE TASTE IS IMMACULATE
Wow, that's awful. Sounds like a toxic person. Maybe you should sit down with the person and talk to them about how they are making you feel.
Those are people who are mentally at an unhappy place or situation. They only see the bad in all things. You might either point that out to them and have them realize what they're doing is wrong or find different people to hang out with instead.
in any relationships, open communications is very important.
In every relationship, good communication is the most difficult part! men & women communicate very differently. failure to appreciate this will mean endless amounts of confusion and frustration.
Never met a woman who communicated openly. Too much power given away that way.
My boy don’t like communication, he always say he don’t like drama 😪
I used to do a lot of these. I just recently got into a new relationship after taking a 4 year break from dating to just work on finding my true self and I can happily report, older, wiser me no longer does these things
I’m pleased to say that I dont have any of these problems. However that doesn’t mean I was always like this. I used to be unknowingly manipulating. I didn’t like feeling bad for accidentally guilt tripping my partner into doing things I want. And I think that’s the most important thing in a relationship is that you care enough to be a better person for you, for your partner, and for your friends. The want to never hurt someone you love is a huge motivation. At least in my experience
Totally it is a pleasant and joyful motivation and would not let one ever feel unsatisfied in the hindsight whether present or future.
I didn't know that I was manipulative until me and my partner got better at communicating. I started noticing how bad I was making him feel hoping it would make him want to cater to me more instead it made him anxious coming to me in fear of how I would take things or he'd simply shut down. I changed because I truly loved him and nobody deserves that. I'm so grateful he gave me a chance to address my issues, I could have lost a very special man the last thing I wanted was to hurt him any further
When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.
@Saphyr S.Y
How does that feel?🥺👉👈
Not always... I had a partner who talked about me in the most positive, Kind, and loving ways..... and to my face they we always mad at me, criticizing, and ignoring.
I felt anxious and insecure because I never really knew how they felt. Or maybe I did and I was in denial. Idk.
but sometimes love means something different to them
It warms my heart how supportive people are in the comment section
yeah this comment are generally supportive people, its also warm my heart
thx for video i wanna make our relation better
No. 10 hit me, yes i expect too much and those expectations that I didn't meet hurts me. Now I'm realizing how bad too much expectation is. The more you expect, the more you hurt. As an advice for myself, limit expectations, my partner isn't a mind reader and she can only do what she can do. Don't get mad and be disappointed thus, accept and appreciate what my partner does. I love her so much ❤️
just got into a new relationship and I wanna make sure I don't repeat these bad habits I have done in the past. This yt channel has helped so much
I feel like on this opposite side of ignoring the past, like worrying about the set too much and bringing it up way too often is also harmful to any kind of relationship. No one wants a new partner that constantly brings up their exes. ☺️🤷🏻♀️
We broke up a week ago because she stonewalled me, made me feel ignored and neglected, she was defensive, ignored our past, frequently lied, didn't compromise nor put in effort (neither in me nor the relationship)
I was once in a similar situation, just thought maybe you needed, well I can help you
Message me on WhatsApp
Sounds like you didn't have a relationship, just a body in your life.
im going through this rn. my boyfriends like this and idk, its so difficult to deal with sometimes. but im sorry you went through that.
This video has opened a whole new eye to me. You and your videos have always helped me and my partner to be on the same plank. I realise how much of this i do. And i cried noticing this about myself. I need and want to get better with me and my partners communication and relationship. This has helped tremendously. Thank you!
I hope you know how much these videos helps, I started mass sharing a bunch of videos from you guys and this one is one of the best I've seen to date.
I see myself as part of the problem on some of these points and will work towards bettering myself on these weaker aspects.
No one is perfect, but lets identify our weaknesses and work towards regular improvement.
"My head is on your chest and i can hear your heart race faster than mine. I find it beautiful how we both are equally vulnerable right now. I want to tell you tat I love you but the moment is too beautiful to spoil with words. "
hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me WhatsApp me let's chat better.
Message me on WhatsApp
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True love stories never have endings.
Damn that hit...
Yeah it did
@Lotte there is always an end and it's always worth the pain
The death of the univirse will end all love stories.
Aww
Ok, I really have to say that, this video really made me realize one of my worst faults. The person who I used to love left me. Because I had all 10 of these bad habits in me. I can realize it now, but that person is gone forever. After losing that person I really realized how much I love that person. That person was right for me, but I couldn't realize it then. It's been more than six months since we're apart. But I still miss that person. I really wanna meet that person and say "SORRY" for all of my rude behaviors , but that person hates me so bad and doesn't wanna see my face anymore. And I know it's all my fault. But I still love that person, even more than before. So it's my request to everyone, please don't ever hurt someone you really love. Hurting your love means hurting yourself and only you will suffer for this in the long run. Please realize before it's too late. I know you are never coming back but I only want you to know, Everything which gone wrong was my fault, not yours. I'm really sorry if I gave you too much pain. Now you hate me and left me forever but I really don't know how to forget your face and how to hate you.
I know Mr ose who can actually fix your problems, he once helped me recover my relationship 🥰
Wh'atsap me...for he!p
This was really eye opening. I believe the first step to any positive change is acknowledging the problem at hand. I didn’t know how to put it in words, so thank you for helping me understand. Now that I know what habits to look out for I can work on being a better partner and better to myself in regard to what I deserve in a partner as well.
It's hard to find someone who'll actually love you nowadays :-v
It's very very hard
It's about letting the right people in and keeping the wrong one's out.
@@SPGEN95 so true
Totally. So many distractions and everything. I still trust the Universe! 🙂🙏💞
So trueee
Taking every little thing personally. · frowning always
Too much argument
Still getting over a relationship with someone who hid and lied about things and exploded in the last minute...Thank you for the video, I might need it ♡
Didn’t realize how many toxic habits I had... I will definitely improve! Thank you!💝
Me and my husband have been married for almost 4 years now, our anniversary is next month. Lately though, I've been feeling like he doesn't want to spend any time with me, he would much rather watch gaming videos on his phone than to spend time with me. But I guess I'm also guilty of feeling like I am expecting WAY too much from him. We've been back and forth with each other over the quality time issue for a good bit now. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he either stonewalls me or gets defensive.
Perhaps he has taking you for granted and doesnt appreciate you .,I'm really sorry you have experienced this but I'm afraid some people are selfish .He may not realise hes hurting you . You see men need to be told verbally and are crap at reading body language. I suggest tell him how you feel
try watching his favorite movie tonight or you can show him how interested you're on sharing with him his interests like watching gaming videos with him ;)
I've had this happen in my marriage. I even got on my knees, crying, begging him to spend more quality time with me. Didn't happen. Although, he said he loved me. Some people don't show love the way you do or need them to, some people aren't capable I guess. It got worse, other deal breakers happened, so I left.
@@Candeekissez we talked it out and it was just a lot of stress because we both work such odd hours. Thank you for sharing, I feel better knowing that I'm not alone.
@@Candeekissez Same here. Just asked for divorce a couple of weeks ago, and this was one of the reasons as well....
I found this video only after coming out from a 2 year relationship. What’s sad is a lot of things in this video were things I’ve done. By the time I realized these issues and started to change, it was too late-she was fed up.
Thank you for making this video.
Hello dear ... Do you need any help I can . Out it worked for me add me up let's chat better....
+1....(213)...375............6251.)💯💯💯
DUDE ME TOO
Me too... :(
Did she tell you what bothered her? Or she bottled it up and then just left?
This is so nicely animated I never get tired of this channel. Thank you for doing what you do!
*These videos are why my friends come to me for relationship advice when I’ve never dated someone*
Isn't that the weirdest experience ever?
When your recommendations are faster than your notifs-
Yes?
This is great because my worst fear is being unknowingly toxic and hurting the person I love. Videos like this are helping me become more self aware of what I already tend to do and what to avoid in the future
My ex did all ten of these.
Focus on which ones you might have done
“You have teached so much im gonna try to keep those in mind when i get a friend!”
@Krishna Patel Why not you too became friends seems like most people are looking how about someone just take the risk and reach out sure theres a chance of getting burn but you never succeed if you don't put yourself out there the best things take action and work. Remember to keep boundaries and stay safe.
Psyc2go: Hello psyc2goers
Me and everyone els: HELLO 😃
I was building a relationship and it became very hard to maintain. Everything in this video was exactly the reason why it ended. It made me feel like walking away was for the better. As hard as it is, thank you Psych2Go
We both love each other but felt we weren't ready yet. There were things we both need to work on and mature on and this video has helped me so much! I see issues that I didn't before and now I know what I can work on to become better
I definitely have lost many friendships because of a couple of the reasons here, mainly the competition and the shaming bit. I had this one friend who liked to point out my flaws whenever we were with our friend group/ in public. She did it in a "joking" manner but it definitely still hurt
:(
This will really helped me to pinpoint some behaviours i didnt realize i did. This is gonna help me figure out where to start on improving next. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. It's good to be self-aware! Glad this video has helped you in some way :)
I love your channel! Thank you for making this content available. I'm realizing that there are a lot of toxic traits in my father's personality I'm doing my best to change my behavior so that way I don't perpetuate what I was taught by him
Great video as always. I am guilty of stonewalling sometimes if I feel hurt by another. I can withdraw and withhold attention like not initiating contact or stating my true feelings. I developed this behavior as a safety precaution to 'not get hurt' but it's ineffective. It also causes me to project behaviors onto others that I don't want to receive back. Thank you to all involved for making and sharing this video.
Um, there are a lot more things than that that can destroy a relationship
Mine-- not helping out, being selfish
I know I'm not perfect and I'm guilty of some of these with my last relationship, but he did a lot of these too. Particularly criticizing me a lot while claiming I was held on a pedestal and openly shamed me in front of his parents and siblings frequently. He truly asked me for a lot of major changes without making any himself and also asked for physical participation more than I could due to injury and exhaustion. I'm so grateful for all these psych2go videos. They've really helped me see what I need to change not only for myself but for my child as well.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
ViawhatsApp
Speaking from experience. I've come to realize that no matter what you do, both people need to be dedicated and not give up for it to work. The hard part is that sometimes people wake up one day and feel different about the person next to them .
I always watch these videos and never comment. But I've really appreciated these videos over the years. It's helped me to become more self-aware and has helped me on my journey of self-work and growth. It's also helped me to create boundaries that were never there before. So thanks psych2go people! You guys are the real MVPs
About communication, both partners should talk from time to time about stuff they're feeling. If one of them don't talk about something that he/she is noticing from the other partner and start bottling up feelings, there will be a moment when that person will explode, and that is a recipe for disaster in most relationships.
Speak without fear and choose carefully your words.
We just broke up these days, a relationship of 2 years and also my first romantic relationship. It was painful, but also a good experience for me to grow better. For myself, I did get defensive, criticized him, creating competition during fights always want to be the "right" one and prove him wrong...I wasn't very satisfied for who he is, and always expect him to grow faster, the "who he could be". And this is obviously not healthy. From his side, he lied to and actively deceived me twice before, and it slowly pulling down the trust between us, or at least from me to him. He might also expect too much for me to know what he's thinking because, well during the second year, he rarely express himself or what he really feels to me, so when he decided to break up I was super shocked, I didn't know that he hid all those negative feelings in his heart.
Hope that I can walk out from it. And best wishes to every other going through a break up. It's hard, but it's okay.
😔
You shouldn't be with someone and expect them to "grow". People aren't flowers. You should be with someone for who they are now. Unless it's a small change like eating healthier. Not a whole personality transplant. If you wish someone to change a lot, do you truly love them? Probably not. Or you'd not want them to change. They'd make you happy the way they are.
@@stephanieseahorse4165 Relationships between people are hard, especially romantic ones. We sometimes get together with people who aren't the best match for us because we fall in love quickly and get attached. Then we expect our partners to be the best version of themselvese or rather the ideal version of them in our heads. And that rarley ever works out. So what we can do is clearly communicate what we want and need in a relationship and if it doesn't happen, end the relationship. However this is easily said but in real life we get involved with people who are not for us and it's hard to let go so we do everything in our power to keep them and fix things. And we end up being hurt and hurting in return. At the end of the day we're all human, and what matters the most is being aware of ourselves and being the best version of ourselves regardless of how our partner behaves. At least that's what I think.
i’m glad I stumbled into this video, helps me know what to fix and what’s not my fault
10 behaviours that destroy your relationships
1)you stonewall your partner.
2)you are too distracted.
3)you get defensive.
4)you criticize too often.
5)you idealize your partner
6)you ignore your past.
7)you mislead your partner.
8)you create competition.
9)you shame your partner.
10)you expect too much.
Thankyou:)
I feel like I've struggled with most of these but my amazing partner for 5 years has been helping me through it all and showed me nothing but patience, love and continuous support
hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me WhatsApp me let's chat better.
Message me on WhatsApp
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I agree 100%. I can definitely see how these behaviors can be damaging to a relationship.
It all boils down to kindness and understanding...and tolerance.
I thought i was responsible for fall of our relationship but i was wrong. Seeing this video made me realize that I actually never had any problems. My ex was the one with lots of issues. I was really scared to watch this video as I thought i will be the one with all the destructive behavior. Thank god i never walked on wrong path 🙏❤️
That doesn‘t seem like the message thy are trying to convey
Hello fellow Time Travelers
Hacker!!!!!
:O
WHAT HOW!?!?!??!?
HUH?!!
What how could you do that wow
I know this video is from a year ago, but I wanted to add that these and other toxic traits CAN be improved upon and changed as long as you both work together. My boyfriend and I have been together a little more than 6 years, but when we first started dating, we had some toxic defense mechanisms as we both had been in abusive relationships previously. For me, I got yelled at a lot when I was with my abusive ex so whenever I got into a disagreement, I would clam up. This made it difficult for me to talk about my feelings when I got into a new relationship but we broke down that barrier and now our communication is amazing. My boyfriend was bullied a lot by everyone including his abusive ex and his own mother, so he had a very hard time being vulnerable with me at first because he had learned to put up a tough and very independent exterior. We worked through that barrier, too. As long as you two are genuinely trying to work through these issues, things can work out and you can push through the rocky parts.
Im in your first position rn, we just start dating about 5 months we do have same past that having abusive partners (her ex always yelled at her and doing physical attack to her, while my ex manipulating me then yelled at me whenever she's feeling down and end up having affair 3 times ) then now we facing something that i never experienced before my gf always constantly doing silent treatment to me whenever we argue, i know I'm annoying like too excited about something that's makes me throwing many questions after that she's mad and giving me silent treatment, I don't how to react and approach her even i always apologize to her bout what im doing that i know im wrong. She's always stonewalling after we argue i feel like walking on thin ice that can break anytime (she has moodswing and anger issues + she's mom with 1 baby) i love her and always appreciate her can through hard times alone from the past until now but when i try to talk about our relationship she's got defensive too :).
pls i just wanted some advice so i can talk to her and keeping this relationship more healty
@@dougdugart9505 I think it would be really beneficial to sit down with her and tell her how you feel when she does these things. It also helps to make this a habit where you set aside time maybe once a week or once a month where you can discuss how the other person has made you feel. Keeping open communication is so important because we’re not mind readers. Just make sure to express your feelings and not criticize her so much as that can be very easy to accidentally do.
@@princesschelsea1558 thanks i appreciate that really really appreciate that hopefully we can going through this even in hard times
An excellent gentle reminder. Thanks so much! Also for the soothing narrator
This is perfect timing, im gonna send this to him. Wish me luck😕
1) You stonewall your partner
2) You're too distracted
3) You get defensive
4) You criticize too often
5) You idealize your partner
6) You ignore your past
7) You mislead your partner
8) You create competition
9) You shame your partner
10) You expect too much
Definitely needed to hear this today. I’m learning to work on getting defensive when talking to my partner
This video has helped me to realize a lot of my bad habits and understanding that I must change
I sadly have not been able to time travel
Lmao
dude i love this channel so much, been following for a long time now and its amazing to see how fast it grows.
hey psych2go team! you guys are doing an amazing job!
My ex wanted me to know things like how she felt, what she wanted, what she was thinking without even communicating them to me and that's one of the main reason we fell apart. I kept telling her to tell me those things but her argument was if I really loved her and if we were soulmates then I would be able to tell
You’re right. Verbal communication is good for the head and heart. You’re brain can help subconsciously mimic you’re partners’ actions to make them more compatible, but that’s it. It can’t translate needs and wants, but it can help you read a person’s body language that they “want” something.
what an irony when I want my boy to listen to me and he refuses to listen to what I have to say because then he gets angry.😪
I'm not yet in a relationship, I just watch your videos to be prepared and avoid mistakes for future relationships.
Sure, you can talk about your past but I've found a lot of the time it's been used as a weapon against me.
Hey Psych2go and everybody. By the way, nice work on your creations so far. They're short enough so as not to overwhelm, but full of insight enough to really feel you got something consistent out of the 5-7 minutes you invested. And the graphic style ... I like how expressive it is but also how sensitive. We need more sensitive art and content out there. It's a sorely needed balm in this rushed and often domineering culture we have.
Anyways, I want to give my contribution of another 10 destructive behaviors on top of the 10 you already highlighted.
11. You assume (the worst) instead of asking questions.
12. You don't make the effort to grow beyond your current preferences to engage in things that are important to your partner
13. You're either overly proactive or overly receptive, but you don't play the other role
14. You only show support or approval for your partner when they are making you feel good and bending over backwards to satisfy your desires.
15. You are simply intolerant and you defend that attitude by calling it "high standards", "self respect", or "what I'm asking for is just normal"
16. You constantly erode your partner's confidence, pride and self esteem because actually admitting they're worth looking up to might bring up unresolved feelings of shame and inadequacy
17. You're projecting your unconscious fears and insecurities on your partner instead of actually doing the work of healing them, possibly sharing them openly and asking for their assistance in dealing with them.
18. You try to be "The Perfect Partner" for your significant other, and exhaust yourself trying to be someone you're not.
19. You don't take it upon yourself to be Generous in every possible sense of the word, yet you get mad when your partner doesn't give you what you want.
20. You don't really ask questions and listen to your partner's heart, you just fake interest and listening hoping your partner won't notice or mind.
Keep on doing great work and making psychology and mental health accessible to the world. You are doing a great service! Thank you for that.
i could break things down on an analytical scale and the majority of what i say makes sense and could be perceived as correct. bit i can see that i neglected or have been very unaware of how many toxic habits i have in dealing with situations. i find it hard when you dont know the solutions, like going to a new job and expecting to get everything right but not having the experience.
i want my fiancee and I to have transparency, understanding and love in our conversations. this video, and some others yall made, have helped me realize that i need to work on my delivery as well as letting us both take time to process instead of fixing things right away. it hurts realizing you might be acting just as bad as the one you perceived to hurt you.
I'm having trouble communicating with my partner because he refuses to talk about the arguments we had and his past. I understand that he doesn't want to dwell on the past to be unhappy at the moment, but on the other hand i feel i have trouble getting to know him. Stonewalling and ignoring deep conversions made me feel hurt and rejected so much. Thank you for this video, and it helps me to know that my feelings are valid.
*Always keep an open mind! That's the most important thing* 😊
How is everyone so fast- also your videos makes me comfortable and has been helping my mental health
I really like this channel. The voice was sooo soothing ✨
These videos are so so calming to listen to in spite of the topic discussed haha!!
I did all these in my previous relationships... I'm glad I'm doing none of these in my current relationship! ❣️
Omg I can't believe myself. I'm time travelling. 🤩🤩
That's so exciting !!!
Anyway, dear future people take care of yourself and your mental health 🤍
What the hell!
4 Weeks ago?
How just how how can you do this i don’t get it ???? Tell me your ways
@@nightsky9939 by joining channel you can get early access
@@neutralboi1984 cool thxs bro have a lovely day 😁😁
Ohhhhhhhh this explain a lot, I feel enlightened thank you
i used to do this a lot in my teens and early 20s LOL. as i got older, my perspective changed as my confidence grew. yeah all this stuff is outgrown once you learn to accept and love yourself xD
I'm just saying this channel has given me more relationship advice than my parents ever will a few days ago I got with my crush after a few mini gay panic attacks while at her house for a sleepover I noticed the signs and gave the hints and asked her she said yes and I couldn't have don't it without the advice given by this channel alone, so I wanna say thank you yall are doing great work.
My biggest thing is the last one. Expecting too much. I think I put myself in their shoes like “I would never do this to you so why do you do it to me” but it’s only because I don’t speak up about what I’m needing or feel in the moment, and by the time they want to help me, I feel so aggravated they’re not understanding. I need to do better for him. He deserves that communication.
My ex was exactly these things he was manipulative and controlling and jealous and toxic but im glad im a lot more happier with my boyfriend now he treats me a lot better 💗
Aww hope your OK and I'm happy you found someone better
This video popped up just at the right time as I'm currently still processing a breakup. We still love and support each other, but we both acknowledge at this point that the relationship just wasn't going well. What first started as a "we just don't share enough common interests" turned into realising that I burdened him because I never got a chance to learn to deal with my trauma by myself(because the relationship drew the abuser away from me and made me realise what happened in the first place), and when I had my bad moments, he had real trouble reading what I needed even if I tried clear body language because I otherwise couldn't communicate. We always talked honestly and open about everything and only had maybe one or two fights that were more dissagreements than anything. He's never treated me poorly, although he isn't yet ready for a relationship because he doesn't know how to prioritise, and as a result I felt neglected when he focused mainly on work and his streaming career. Things can be great and you can love each other and maybe even be happy if you continued, but we realised it's better to break things off and give both of us time to learn more about ourselves on our own first
hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me WhatsApp me let's chat better.
Message me on WhatsApp
+ 1 ( 2 1 3 ) 9 9 2 7 9 3 7
How are you guys doing now?
Thanks for pointing out the common things & the important tips. 🙏❣️Gonna be useful someday.
I’ve been in one relationship in my life. When she would come over, she sometimes would pop her earbuds in and watch something on her phone right next to me on my bed. I would glance at her sometimes and feel lonely like she wasn’t even there. It hurt a lot.
Yeah, this affirms my decision to end the last relationship I had. He had too many checkmarks off this lift :/
You can also add lack of self awareness and mindfulness towards these behaviors.