Thank you for this, Jess. It will be extremely helpful going forward in raising awareness and training professionals in correct diagnostic skills. Very well balanced, drawing on key research and offering insight from your own perspective. This will become a key video to point people towards when they doubt their own diagnosis. Clinically, my experience is seeing people with DID who do not hit these flags, and helping those people understand what DID is through expert-by-experience is critical, so your educational videos help enormously. Keep up the good work!
When Jess mentioned that an incorrect diagnosis can convince someone they have a condition, it got me thinking because my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD after my ex boyfriend tried to murder me, but my PTSD doesn't present itself in the 'normal' way with flashbacks? I don't get flashbacks, but whenever i'm in a threatening situation or i feel like i'm in danger, my mind just goes absolutely blank and it just goes to this proper animalistic fight or flight response, like ill either flee the scene like a bat out of hell and if i cant i end up fighting like a dying cornered dog, ill turn into an actual violent monster and start biting and growling and whatever other violence to get away with no memory of it afterwards. (I don't have DID, no childhood trauma) Luckily, it hasn't happened in years because i'm very anti-violence and never get in those situations but it still scares me that i could seriously hurt someone. Do i even have PTSD? Or is that something else entirely? Therapist mentioned Borderline personality but never diagnosed me with that and i don't really know what it is anyway
@@chriser3753 Hi, I'm sure you can understand that I can't comment on a clinical issue. You sound like you want some reassurance, so going back to your GP and checking this out will help. Take care, Mike
@@chriser3753 I get that and have been diagnosed cPTSD. I'm not a professional but it doesn't always present the same way. I get the wild animal anger and don't remember it later. See a professional if you aren't sure about it but I do believe that your description is a lot like my PTSD. Stay safe x
I somewhat disagree here. I'm very recently diagnosed and I scored super high on the diagnostic test (200-something) and while I don't hit any other markers knowing that that could be a sign of faking DID makes me infinitely less confident in my diagnosis. Accepting it is something I'm greatly greatly struggling with and my therapist assured me she has confidence in my having DID but this video was somewhat of a step back for me. Which definitely isn't Jess's fault but I would caution showing this video to someone questioning themselves.
I appreciate she's not shaming those suffering with fictitious did. They are still suffering and need help even though it's a different condition. I don't know what I have and often doubt myself and tell myself I'm making it up, and that isn't something to put more guilt on myself . Speak to a professional regardless I think.
Bless. I seem to have an alter but I have no clue if it's an OSDD alter or just something one of my other mental disorders made up as a coping mechanism. I know I'm not faking it for fun or anything, but I still get wary that I am faking it in some way and am a bad person because of it. I do have BPD, so this supposed alter could just be an odd manifestation in my head, as opposed to an actual, separate consciousness. But even if he's not an alter, he DOES feel different from me? Idk... it's hard to explain.
Rennie i have bpd too and i kind of get what you’re saying. i also have these different “parts” of myself that represent the mood or emotional state i’m in but they’re not like a whole different person just parts of my personality. so i just wanted to say i think i understand what u mean
@@NoName-rb5pe Yes, I think I do too. I have bpd, cptsd and prone to dissociation, depersonalisation. "They" stay in my head but haven't developed into alters. Sometimes I approach things saying, "WE should do this..." I've been told they are fragmented parts, like you said, of my personality. It happened during trauma and therapy is meant to help me get these parts working together to become whole. It's so tough. The Punishing Persecutor is the worst, such a destroyer : (
Debbie Young same and sometimes my hand does things to get my attention like if I’m not paying attention to someone literally one of my hands would poke me and or softly pull my hair
@@popstarfreddy omg I get that too, sometimes when I'm anxious and dissociated my right hand will start stroking my left one or I'll pet my hair subconsciously
And from a person WITH DID, in the most respectful, educational way. This really gives more credence to the disorder. Instead of others saying "it's real, completely accepted, and super common". Like I get having that defense mechanism when it has to do with something that's so personally affects you, so this just shows how informed and valid Jess as an advocate is.
i mean... it was created from a checklist by an actual doctor. but it’s nice to see videos that present both facts and opinions without being offensive
I have an emotionally abusive ex who faked having DID only after we started dating. He admitted in the beginning that he was purposely role playing his alters so they could date mine. This made me extremely uncomfortable when he was “creating” very young alters to date an alter in my system who I considered my child. I said something to him about it and he told me he had never said he was creating them, that it was offensive that I even asked him about it, and that I was being cruel. I reminded him of what he had said previously and he insisted he never said that and that I couldn’t trust my memory. He also told me my own trauma, which I have evidence of from others in my family, was something I dreamt up. He maintained that he never had amnesia throughout our whole relationship and said he could control his alters, until he cheated on me with my friend and then suddenly he had amnesia and no control over what was happening. I definitely think he needed help, yeah. But what he did was definitely harmful and I have spoken to other people with similar experiences. Sometimes in abusive relationships, especially if you have been through previous abuse as a child, you can’t just distance yourself from the person. Especially if they have distanced you from everybody else in your support system. I’m glad you covered this topic though, because it’s something I feel like so many people in the community are afraid of talking about.
Hey System K. I follow your channel and hope you’re doing ok. You should be very proud of the work you are doing on yourself - your system is adorable and your family (and dog 😊). You experienced horrible things but you are great and funny and I hope you start posting again in the future. Take care 💗
That ex definitely was abusive and so deliberately so by pretending to have D.I.D. and then gaslighting you when you questioned him about his behaviour towards you. He sounds like a narcissist and he'd need a psychologist to assess him and provide a diagnosis for his particular personality and/or mood disorder(s) but, just based (up)on what you've related above, it certainly seems like he has the symptoms of a narcissist and maybe a covert narcissist if I had to speculate on the type of narcissism. Is that your view now you are thankfully away from his psychological /emotional abuse? I would feel extremely betrayed and hurt if someone close to me deliberately pretended to have the same condition as myself - Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) in my case - seemingly to get close to me and more easily gain both my empathy and trust plus to create feelings of closeness, intimacy and being understood. There's a special connection between individuals who have the same or very similar conditions such as someone with C-PTSD or PTSD meeting someone with the same condition whether one meets online, in and during a self-help therapeutic group, or through some other therapeutic avenue...and when someone uses this connection and manipulates an individual who genuinely does have a trauma-related condition (whether PTSD, C-PTSD, OSDD, &/or D.I.D.), it does considerable psychological harm. I hope you have been able to not only see the ex as an abusive male who uses and abuses others and have learnt not to blame yourself for trusting and believing them, but have been able to move on somewhat and begin to heal from the matter? Wishing you the very best, from Australia 🌷
System K yikes he sounds really toxic and has gas lighting behavior.. I hope he gets the help he needs because he obviously has something going on.. i’m sorry he put you through that, you didn’t deserve that
My brain: I’m faking DID. The facts: There’s no way you are. You fit all of the criteria and you don’t want to tell people so it can’t be for attention. My brain: I must be watching this video so I can get better at faking DID. The facts: Wait-
tahtee burp AMEN. Newly became aware of my system, too and everything is moving so fast! About a week ago we started speaking to one another in a journal and yet my whole life I’ve just been living assuming that I’m the only one in this body. The only thing keeping me from going crazy over if I’m faking it or not is the amount of people that experience this same doubt. You’re definitely not alone.
Tyler 💛💛 When you guys speak in journals and such (I get that suggestion A LOT because I am still having trouble making contact with my system, I am unsure if they realise we are actually alters.) how does that work? Do you write to them and they switch in and write to you? I’m mostly co-con so it just feels weird to write almost just to myself? Feels like I’m faking it even more if I’m aware of the replies in the journal if you get me.
Lol this is me too lol. There's probably never going to be any clarity in my case so I just decided that as long as nothing seems weird to other people and as long as I'm not blanking while talking to people, it's not enough of an issue to matter
Tyler And I’m the same way! I’ve always had these symptoms which I didn’t know were symptoms and now suddenly it makes sense why I have all these voices and why I dissociate and then the amnesia and trauma episodes. And living like a system even just for this last week and a bit has been so much easier. I’m not waiting to be triggered and blow up, I know how to recognise things that will upset me and be calm if that makes sense. So I guess what is my persecutor doesn’t have to come out and abuse everyone and push them all away.
i'm 20 now. when i was 15 i genuinely mistakenly believed i had OSDD. there was nothing for me to gain from it- i was a confused teenager with autism and psychosis in a toxic relationship- (i was not diagnosed at the time) and the online DID community i was around truly made me believe i had it. the only person i told was my ex, i thought i had an alter because my personality was so split down the middle between two extremes of being myself and surviving a relationship, and i thought the shame and embarrassment i had for part of myself was proof it was another person entirely. now i know with certainty i do not have DID or OSDD, but i've never heard anyone share the perspective i have before so i thought i would.
I came to comment something similar! I’m 24 and when I was ~ 16 I thought I had DID and told my toxic partner about it too. Since being in therapy I have also been diagnosed with autism, as well as adhd and ptsd. It’s wild how different things can show such similar symptoms!
Holy.. I have been having these thoughts... I have the autism adhd combo, and at times I’m certain my personality changes... I talk to myself, like not out loud, but it’s like I’m fully analyzing my own behavior in a whole new, however consistent, way. Thinking differently, seeing basic principles in different light, etc. and punching down my “other personality .” I know it isn’t DID or anything similar, but in the moment it feels like I’m going crazy. I think it’s just a moments clear thought in the midst of a very messy and cloudy brain... but thats fucking scary when you’re not used to it
Omg I went through exactly the same thing, I never thought I had altars exactly but I felt like in the background I probably had did and was just too out of it to know what symptoms I was even having Just autistic, schizophrenic, and was being tortured I’m so glad o didn’t have all the social media content to possibly brainwash myself into???
@@dr.blauerkraut I do this to process things, think about things, to be self aware, and to grow. I conjure up another self(ves?) give them different roles and motivations, and have them discuss. When I was a little kid, I did it in a much less subtle way. I basically played a game of pretend, imagining *other* people.
So I found the DID community on UA-cam about a year ago I only found you a couple months ago. However I did just recently meet a girl I really like that has DID and she was so concerned about bringing somebody new into her life and honestly I want to thank you because I at least had enough education to make her feel welcomed and they are some of the most amazing people I have met!
No really thank u for this thank you for ppl who see ppl with d I d as normal ppl with a different system because we didn’t kno how to fully cope when we was kids .....we just trying I appreciate everyone who loves some one with d I d even if it’s not me
Also, people know of they’re intentionally “faking”. If you didn’t sit down one day and thought up a disorder to fake, you’re most likely not faking. I don’t have DID, so I can’t speak on that experience, I’m chronically ill and disabled and I’ve been accused of faking by doctors and friends and family members many times. And it really made me struggle with believing myself and my symptoms, and just made me question my reality and memories. But I know I didn’t sit down and decide to fake chronic pain. I’m not gaining anything from not being able to do things anymore. And I think it’s important to remember if you’re struggling with worrying if you might be faking, that it’s a conscious choice. Because if it isn’t you definitely still need treatment. You deserve to feel better.
it's rly depressing that I just posted a comment w basically the same thing. I'm also chronically ill and have bipolar and i've been gaslit so much by people who wanna play armchair dr that it's rly messed w my sense of reality and identity.
Felix Henson it is truly infuriating that this is such a common experience in our community. I really hope you have (or will find soon) medical professionals and friends that believe you and genuinely want to help. Experiencing a doctor not questioning my self reported symptoms even once was a genuinely life changing thing for me. Everyone deserves that.
@@bluecannibaleyes It literally says on that page that hypochondriacs are not faking or lying about their symptoms. Usually it is their excessive fear, worry and stress that is producing symptoms or their emotions are outweighing the scale of their health issue. But they didn't sit down one day and DECIDE to pretend to have these symptoms, their concerns and distress are very real to them, they have just catastrophised the real symptoms they do actually have and convinced themselves that the headache they have must be a brain tumour. That's not what faking something is. Their distress is real, their symptom is real, they think their paranoid catastrophised version of the truth is real. Faking it would require forethought and understanding that it is NOT real, which is not the case with hypochondriacs. A hypochrondriac isn't telling you they have a brain tumour to deceive or trick you - they are genuinely terrified that they have one. Having an incorrect or false belief created by fear, anxiety and paranoia, isn't the same as faking it. Their feelings are real, they think they are telling you the truth, and they're not convincing about it - you're likely going to be able to tell their belief is irrational, but to them it is rational. Someone faking a brain tumour would know they don't have one. They would likely know how to charm and convince you. They would actively be lying to you to deceive you, likely to get something from you. They wouldn't have actual anxiety or fear about it because it would be part of a planned narrative.
When my dissociative symptoms first started interfering with my life, a friend actually confronted me saying "is it you today or (alter name)" and I was pretty confused. She told me to look up DID, so I did and thought it was interesting but nothing I could have. A few months went past and the thought of DID would just pop up in my head when I least expected it, so I looked it up again, and sort of had a moment when I realized some of my symptoms matched up. On top of that, another friend had informed me I had introduced myself by another name at one point. So, I went to therapy when it got to the point I couldn't take it anymore, and started off by bringing up DID, which was not the best idea. The psychologist I saw immediately wrote me off as a faker for going there with the idea of DID already, when really I was just concerned. I could see it in her eyes, the exact moment she stopped listening. I'm definitely not faking my symptoms, and as time goes on I'm more and more sure I have DID. But to many people the fact I came to my own conclusion means I'm pretending. I actually often doubt myself for that reason, and the reason that I came to the online community because I felt alone in my struggles. The only reason I would prefer a diagnosis, whether DID or not, is because I won't be able to stay with my current psychologist forever, and having a clear "label" would help ensure I was able to continue treatment somewhere else.
I have had a very similar experience of self discovery at this point I think i could have either OSDD or DID but then again part of me still worries that I'm deceiving people somehow over this
You need to go in one day to therapy and just tell the person if your not going to listen to my concerns than i need a new one. Literally tell them everything from the beginning on how your friend was the one you brought up DID and that you didnt even know of the existence until than. That you doubt you had it for the longest time and completly forgot about it for a while. Until you recently looked up and things clicked. That your nervious. And that your concerned if you do, and that you just want to know the truth of whats going on. If she or he cant listen to anything you have to say than you need a new therapist who will listen and take your concerns seriously and not rub you off as a faker becauae you actually brought DID up after your friends confronted you about possibly having DID.
Lame Duck i mean, yeah? Friend had heard about did, alter fronted w/o OP realising that’s what happened, and introduced themself to the friend. Friend comes up to OP when they see them next and asks if it’s them or whatever name the alter used, by that name, not ‘is it you or your alter’. Alters can front before the host knows they have DID, and those gaps in time are often what clues people in to that there’s something wrong.
honestly, diagnosed or not, with label or not, i'd say just skip and seek treatment someplace else. idk if i misinterpreted but i thought ye said yer staying with this current therapist to get a label in order to finally cut ties and find another therapist. if thats the case, well worry not: as a client, yer not obligated to stay with one therapist until certain condition is met (in this case: getting a diagnosis) in order to bounce and find someone with whom yer going to be comfier. least thats what i know, idk if there're places where clients *do* need to stay a certain amount of time/session. if theyre not interested in yer case, DID or not; mentally ill or not (honestly lets normalise seeking professional help even if only to vent out stress: get a more experienced guidance and feedback compared to the average people's), then it's essentially a dead end. and, if yer paying out of yer own pocket, waste of money as well. best of luck.
I love that you included the perspective of "what if you feel you may be faking" without judgement and with acceptance and help. This is what healthcare should be like. Thank you. It's a breath of fresh air for those of us who can't get help yet and are constantly doubting ourselves.
You handled this very tricky topic with such maturity and compassion. Thank you for helping the community by creating this resource. There was a lot of loving reassurance for both those with genuine and factitious DID here. I don't think anyone but you could have created that environment so well. -Wyn
@@MultiplicityAndMe bc shes been a huge topic in the did community for malingering. People have attacked her and i wanted to know if y'all still supported her.
We flip-flop so often, as host I find the times where my head is finally quiet I manage to convince myself I'd made everything up - the moment I hear someone or they come forward again I remember just how real it all is. We needed this today!!!
SAME!!!!!! Omg, when I haven’t blacked out, or when I’m not co-fronting or whatever, I convince myself I’m making it up. But then I start hearing voices and switching and I’m like “hun, you’re not faking it”
@Oni I'm kind of in the same boat. I started to research DID and OSDD and everything lined up, and I wound up kinda going into a mental frenzy to figure it all out. Talked to a family friend with DID, then my parents, and at that time they sounded like they were saying like 6 different things and I got so stressed I shoved it all down and now, even after a month or two, I can't really see anyone as easy anymore. It's like my imagination went with it, and especially the figure of one that would always be with me. They're gone, I'm still having trouble being creative and all. It hurts so damn bad, too. It's difficult, and I dunno how I'll actually figure out if I have one of those disorders or not.
@Oni Go see a doctor but Ill bet money that DID isn’t the correct diagnosis, because first of all if you have alters and think you can silent them…Well you aren’t even supposed to know about your alters…you’re supposed to get memory loss that impacts your ability to remember them…so, see a doctor about what you have, but I’m betting it’s not DID
THIS! We don't have the amnesic walls- and we are all- somewhat connected. Last night I had a meltdown and- just- I was very close to killing the body. But suddenly they popped up- and everyones panicking. and just- hoo.
I'd love to remind you of what Google search is so that you don't take this channel and it's misinformation at face value. individuals with real DID don't actually fkn pull up different personalities that are quirky and aloof and glitter uwu bs. They go into disassociating coping mechanisms when it's not even a convenience. In real life they don't turn into another personality. They go into something similar like PTSD. And they look like they are distressed in situations that range from gagging, ripping their hair out, hitting themselves against a wall and going into fetal positions under the table. They would be setting up a fkn camera and humming to bring out a fictitious entity that sits in their brain that has nothing to do with who the host of the body is. It would always be the host of the body having a flash back as their previous selves during the trauma. Channels like this one have launch dozens of impressionable children and adults that are in the spectrum to finesse a disorder out of thin air and become unable to function cognitively cause they think they are being stunning and quirky and they never try to figure out their actual personality cause they rather have the seven dwarves in their brain.
“Distance yourself” - best advice in general for anyone becoming uncomfortable around anyone (boundaries!) but even more important in delicate instances like these if for example someone is becoming particularly offensive to you and you want to avoid huge conflicts/getting involved in addressing something only a therapist should be dealing with. Great video
At the risk of getting hate, as someone who has " considered having did" you KNOW when you're faking. It just feels different. you can tell when youre talking to your own self. Its like reading both parts to a script. That you wrote lmao. ( These were only internal thoughts never verbalized to anyone or for any gain. Simply introspection to asses my life and consider possibilities, it was quickly ruled out )
Idk, when I ‘faked’ having an alter ego back in middle school/high school, it wasn’t exactly like that, it was more like OSDD...yet I had never even heard of that disorder at the time. Still not exactly sure whether or not it was entirely ‘fake’, but it doesn’t make sense for it to have been ‘real’, considering I’ve never experienced anything like it before or since.
To also risk hate when I pretended I had multiple personalities when I was young (I had never actually heard of did specifically and most of my references were from media) I knew it wasnt real deep down but I was in a dark place and I thought if I separated two parts of myself I wouldnt be so alone and also back then it was hard for me to catagarize myself into stereotypes like tomboy nerd ect so I made myself believe I had to be two separate people since I didnt fit those boxes luckily I grew out of it but ya it was definitely just me essentially talking to myself and writing two separate lives
I don't know about that. I know I don't have DID but sometimes it really feels like it. Like, I will find poems I don't remember writing and texts I don't remember sending on my phone and sometimes I'll look back at something I wrote or posted just a few days ago and just think.. "That wasn't me. It just wasn't. Why would I do that? that's nothing like me." So I think if you fake it you can still really feel like you have it. Plus, you can convince your mind of anything.
I agree with Jane TM and others. I have kind of imaginary friends since I'm child, they're still present today, very close to me, and frequently I talk with them in my head or just feel as if I let them control my body when something difficult happens of just I don't feel good, I let them express their own perosnality... (sorry for my poor English) I know it's not DID, they're just parts of me and I don't have amnesia nor deep childhood trauma etc. But each time I discover another trouble which looks just a bit like what I experience, I always have a period during I wonder if maybe I have this trouble or not. It is so easy to convince yourself that yes, you have this trouble, because you REALLY need help but don't really understand yourself why. It is more comfortable for the brain to be able to say "I have THIS trouble", and to feel being part of a community, and to receive the attention you need. It is you that you convince, before the others. It is so easy to lie to yourself.
BPD can be mistaken for DID and vice versa, and with how suggestible someone with BPD can be, they can easily truly believe they have DID when they don't. BPD and severe PTSD have quite a bit of overlap on paper with DID, thanks to the blackouts and identity disturbance.
I think it's SO important to try and not see people with factitious disorders as 'bad' or malicious. Often there's a deeper reason why they feel the need to (consciously or otherwise) mimic DID symptoms, and that reason is often more innocent than you might think. If you really can't bring yourself to show compassion or understanding-step away. There's a huge gatekeeping problem in the online community (I've not been in said community for a while for that very reason).
true, i mimicked some DID symptoms as a coping mechanism, i never meant any harm towards the community whose hard work and support always helped me feel better. i've tried to keep it mostly to myself and not claim to have the disorder, but if someone goes so far as to pretend to have a severe disorder, they clearly have something going on that needs to be addressed.
They're sheltered, socially stunted girls who are chronically online. They have nobody to talk to who is as obsessed with Minecraft UA-camrs as they are so they pretend to be them. It's as much a first-world problem as it can get. Imagine thinking "gatekeeping online" is some sort of issue that matters. They need compassion, but not from me, not from strangers online. Their likely present parents and therapists should do that, they ought to take a break from their thousand-dollar TikTok machine and process whatever it is that's actually wrong with them rather than hide and use DID as an aesthetic because it's so quirky and fun. They don't need you white knighting for them either, that enables them. Your comment says leave them alone and condone their behavior, and I refuse to do so. It's not good to pretend to have a serious condition ESPECIALLY when there is clearly not an intent to take it seriously and treat it, but to flaunt it. It's bad. It should be actively discouraged.
My ex-boyfriend faked having DID. He admitted to it over a year after I met him. I knew that if he was lying about it, he needed help in some way and he just didn't know how to show it so I stayed with him and was supportive as possible. Although, after he cheated on me all of the awful things he would say to me as his alter came back. He would use his fake alter to cheat and be awful without consequences. I hope that he didn't make anyone at school doubt the legitimately if DID. I can see how their experience with him could hurt someone they meet with legitimate DID
Omg out of topic but love that profile of inertia 😩 btw, hope you are ok, he was an asshole, but you were so mature to actually help him even though normally someone would just left him
so more people fake DID, so they can date someone with it? because those don't feel good dating outside the community ? or is it a sadistic kick out of fooling and controlling? it is not done because they desire someone so much, as they cheat in the end.
I kind of stumbled onto your channel. I was really interested in what you were saying. Because of your channel, I realized that my older sister exhibited a lot of what you had described. Growing up I had thought she was joking whenever she would tell me she was Louise (her name is Linda). Louise isn't the nicest of people, so I thought it was an excuse for when she was being kind of mean to me. After I found your channel I started reading up on DID. I talked to her and her husband. She ended up talking with a therapist and was officially diagnosed. So just want to seriously thank you. It explains so much of the things that happened growing up.
I will say, as someone who experiences a state of mild-severe dissociation/derealization daily, and suffers from bpd (extreme mood changes daily), I did ask my psych whether it was possible I had d.i.d. I never pretended I had it, or tried to emulate it... I just wanted answers. They gave me a simple test, and it was able to let us both know that I do not suffer from d.i.d. However, I am finding IFS therapy very helpful, as the therapist or yourself talks to the different parts of oneself, only I do not have the amnesic walls between those parts of oneself that someone suffering from d.i.d. experiences. (sorry if I misspoke on any part)
Puck Gwin I love the approach you’ve taken with this, I think most people have what you have in the DID community online and not actual DID but instead adopt the whole DID as a personality trait. Dissociative identity episodes are evident in a lot of disorders especially BPD and should still be treated
I also dissociate often. It feels like I’m not real or I’m in a dream world. I’ve never felt like I had “alters” or anything like that. It’s just an overwhelming sense of feeling like a ghost.
Ascended Nightingale oh man, I’m glad to hear someone else talk about this. That’s how I describe it to other people. I don’t have DID, but I do have major depressive disorder. Derealization and depersonalization are sure signs that my MDD is getting out of hand. The world takes on a distant, dreamlike quality. I describe it as reality seeming so ethereal that it feels like I could pass my hand through a wall. Or sometimes it feels more like I’m in a cage made of soundproof mirrored glass, and even though I’m screaming and pounding my hands on the walls, I can’t make anyone else in the world hear me or react to me.
Oh man exactly this! I've always felt so guilty and cringe at myself from a few years back where my mental health symptoms started becoming unbearable and I didn't know what was going on. I was hearing multiple voices internally and I'd been in psychosis, plus heavy disassociation to a point where I can't remember much at all these days, c-PTSD and trauma, some of which was coming back in flashbacks to things I didn't remember as a child. So with all of that in mind after finding channels such as this one I was like, is it that? And I genuinely thought I had it for about two months while I was trying to get a diagnosis. I know I had no I'll intentions and I definitely wasn't doing it for attention because I hated every second of it and was absolutely terrified, but I'm still very embarassed of it none the less. I only realised it couldn't be that when I had my first manic episode and things started to make sense
This is so complex, isn't it? Because consistency and a motivation to prove validity seem to be listed as markers of faking. At the same time, this disorder is so often misdiagnosed and misunderstood, that it's not so surprising a system would want to come in with the correct paperwork. I think the study overall comes with good intentions and it had potential, but there needs to be way more research before we make these big claims.
Thank you for this comment, I had finally gone into my session with my therapist and opened up about our system yesterday. I had a really bad moment of self doubt and was about to start panicking when I heard that the need to prove was listed as a symptom of faking. I literally felt like I was cringing so hard, I was going to cry, haha. I don't know what's going on anymore :)
Maybe not faking, but misunderstanding. Self-diagnosis isn't really possible for certain disorders, especially dissociative disorders and thought disorders. Delusions, disordered thinking, mania, hallucinations could all resemble an alter to the person suffering. You may think that you have DID but it's really schizophrenia. It's important to have the correct diagnosis in order to have the correct treatment.
Where Jess said that "yesterday was a lie" "i dont remember it happening but i do" hit really hard. I had mental breakdowns and panic attacks everyday in past year but after a panic attack i would be fully functioning in next few hours and being happy or laughing and then having a breakdown in another hour. I literally thought i was going crazy with these moodswings. Cuz they didn't feel real and i had a glitchy memory since forever. It only happened that this year, my alters(after finally coming out to me) told me it was them, making the body functional and keeping it productive in that extremely stressful state. When I remember that time, i know i am not faking it. But it still feels like i am. Thank you Jess and co. For making these videos and bringing awareness about it!
Such a well put together video! I really love that there's no shaming or directed hate towards those that might be faking like saying "fakers are horrible". Instead I love that you're saying it's important to get a right diagnosis for their own gain so they can get the right treatment. This may help anyone who are faking to think twice especially as you give reason for personal gain for them to not fake and there's no hate given so they might not feel attacked and then get very defensive and "closed off". This also is such a good video to remind us to not police other systems and decide if they are or are not faking, and if we would think so to just step away and not try and "expose them" as that, if done to us actual systems could really hurt us and I think it's better for our own mental health to just step away and not give any energy or emotions towards them. Yea just a great great video.
So this is what I was thinking, except I was struggling to find the words to express my thoughts. You did it so well...I’m just going to nod thoughtfully while you speak and then say “I agree.”
I'm honestly really thankful for this because I kind of subconsciously faked DID after convincing myself that I had it to explain my mental health issues (which it turns out are still trauma, just not DID), and it means a lot to me that she's talking about it without being mean or shaming about it
it is in fact very healthy to creatively seek attention if someone is starved of attention, it's a sign of a healthy functioning brain and a person whose normal needs aren't being met properly. The behaviours might look weird, but seeking attention is only a sign that person is being neglected, not that they have something wrong with them. ***often, unless they have ASPD / FD / or similar
@@leebliss3622 if their normal needs aren’t being met properly then they aren’t healthy like you said they are being neglected or are neglecting themselves and that by nature can not be healthy
I think people with Factitious DID still need a lot of help, you have to ask yourself why someone would 'make up' DID. I don't think it necessarily means that someone with this is totally aware that they don't have it, there are people without DID who can identify with the idea of being fractured or confused. It does not mean that that person isn't traumatised, in fact I believe that if you are going to this extreme then you probably have experienced a lot of trauma in your life, and may have real legitimate problems with sense of self. I think there is a tendency to want to 'punish' someone like this, maybe because their inauthenticity is triggering for your own personal reasons, however it's important to remember that there is a reason why someone would be inauthentic. Maybe they feel a deep sense of shame, fear and unloveableness around who they are, or maybe they don't know who they are and feel the need to construct a fantasy around themselves in order to understand themselves. Anyone who has sense of self issues can be fractured, just maybe not always in the way DID is. Like she said in the video, don't shame people who you think might be doing this! It's likely that they have some deep rooted shame and trauma, be sympathetic to them, that doesn't mean you have to be around them. A lot of people have very strong feelings around inauthenticity in others and themselves, but think about how sad and painful it must be to feel that you can never under any circumstances feel that who you are is acceptable or loveable.
I found an amazing thing in your video that you didn't even adress that much. I heard a phrase and got thinking about it. A person who actually pretends DID, logically, roleplays different ways of behaving. If you do the opposite, if you always try to roleplay your single "normal", usual behaviour but your body just feels like _no,_ then you're probably not faking it.
I don't know if I'm faking or NOT! Since it feels like both are happening at the same time! :( I'll just be chillin and someone else will tag in and go fuck around and it'll like,,,, feel like roleplaying? But also not? Like it's certainly not me controlling the body, I'm just in the backseat watching, but,,, like,,,, what if it IS me and I'm faking shit!! What if it's me pretending to be someone else even if one of ye olde brain goblins is like 'please stfu that was me'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also besides some emotional neglect/emotional abuse/spankings as a kid and some stuff from like age 11, age 15, and age 13 I don't. HAVE crazy bad trauma!!! So I gotta be faking right???
I almost convinced myself I had DiD at one point. I've always been interested in mental disorders and how the brain is so complex. In school I'd always go for brain problems specifically when given the option to research something. So when researching stuff like schizophernia I had to reasure myself I didn't have it from time to time. I believe there is a word for that. The more you look into it, the more you can identify with the symptoms. I do not discredit the fact that I do have other types of problems (as we all do) I am just saying that with the problems I have, I see how other people may lean into diagnosing themselves with something (as I see it) so massive. Because lets be real guys, its scary and not something to glamorize. Its scary, plain and simple. I did bring it up with my therapist at one point and within that week my "symptoms" stopped because I started dealing with what was really wrong rather than covering it up. Now, this is my expirence alone. I still went to my therapist with this and sorted it out. Because again, this isnt something to glamorize and it was scary. So of course I wanted to know whats was wrong. If you feel something is wrong, then something IS wrong. You may have an idea of what it could be, but always be open to what it actualy is. Seek help! Hope my rambles made sense. Remember to take care of yourself with honesty.
I think this can be a symptom of OCD? Where you are paranoid about having illnesses so once you learn about them you start seeing the symptoms you fear having in yourself? I don't know too much about it, and there are absolutely other conditions where you assign yourself symptoms of conditions you believe you have. Interesting stuff, though! I'm glad you've gotten better.
I had a psych 101 teacher explain seeing all sorts of mental disorders within ourselves. They're in all of us, or at least we can relate to them, we just don't have the disorder, key word being disorder. It has to negatively impact your life. If it doesn't, it's just being human and most people can relate.
SO MANY people on my social media, primarily discord, fake DID. And tbh, you can know a lot of the time. A lot of these fakers will be like "you want to meet my alters?" and then goes through a list of them. Like "Hi, I'm x. Hi, I'm y. Hi, I'm z". They'll always remember everything between "alters". They're just plain edgy and already exhibiting a ton of attention-seeking. And they always use it as an excuse such as they'll harass someone on the server and then when confronted go "well, it wasn't me it was my alter! You can't ban me because technically I didn't do anything!" Or whenever someone has mood swings they'll say they have DID. Like. HUN MOOD SWINGS AREN'T DID. Edit (Sept 2024): very old comment wow. I can’t see notifs unless I use the app, so I wanted to clarify for new comment views. I don’t condone calling people out if you suspect someone is faking. But when all of the listed factors are together, it’s definitely suspicious. Especially in a MH space where discord staff are obligated to speak to you until you are confirmed to be in a good headspace if you make a ticket. It’s a serious waste of time and resources that can be incredibly frustrating when there’s people who are having mental health crises if someone starts saying terrible things like insults, slurs sometimes, or telling other people to “stfu” “suck it up” “no one cares” (worse sometimes), then starts arguing with staff because “but it wasn’t me” every time they get muted or a warning tag. They treat it like a get out of jail free card.
@ I was also diagnosed by Dr Roger Wesby at my same diagnostic appointment with Remy... if a consultant psychiatrist isn't a real qualification, I'm not really sure what else you're looking for. A DID specialist also shouts out our channel at the beginning of this video, which suggests to me that you didn't watch the video maybe? But still, please don't state incorrect facts
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@@MultiplicityAndMe idk it seems to me based on all the stuff I've been hearing lately that you and DissociaDID are manipulators looking to make money on a somewhat rare disorder that is generally hard to diagnose which gives you guys the perfect cover
I don’t know about anyone else, but I do this as a hobby. I have a full time job and have always worked to provide for myself and now my little family. It’s genuinely deeply offensive to me to be branded that money is a motivator, when it’s always been about the cause - I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years now, if I wanted to sell out in any way and milk things, I certainly would have by now. The amount I get from UA-cam as a byproduct is hardly breaking the bank - I still and always have worked hard, and this is just something I do part time because I genuinely felt there wasn’t anyone else out there like me when i received my diagnosis; no hope for anyone who would search, and if I could make one person feel less alone, then that was what I would set out to do. My motivations have and always will remain pure, and the day it turns to being all about money, is the day I should stop being an advocate. It’s your choice to feel how you want, but please don’t assume my intentions, especially in comparison to others.
@ So, are you going to believe in “stuff you are hearing lately” than a person that have the disorder AND STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY IN UNIVERSITY???! Yes, brilliant. Please, next time you comment do research. You are spreading misinformation and damaging the DID community.
@ I know that, I am talking about that she major in psychology, so she know what she is talking about. You can watch her other videos to know more about it. Also, I am not talking about DissociaDID, I am only talking about Multiplicity & Me. Idk why you bring her up but the one I am defending is not her.
I totally agree with your point. Faking having DID might just be someone that only diagnosed themselves but still needs to be checked. Since Google became popular, we just tend to search our symptoms online and believe that we might have it. Consulting a specialist is really the best thing to do. Because there is really a problem but it is just not diagnosed properly. I love watching your videos since it encourages people to really learn more about DID but also mental health in general.
I really appreciated when she said, "I don't remember experiencing this." You can be aware of what's going on in some personalities, while not realizing in the present moment with other personalities that you're even in them in the first place. The ones you are aware of are followed by serious derealization, while the ones you aren't aware of while in them are followed by a bit of amnesia (due to being buried in the subconscious).
Having sex in a personality you're unaware of while in it is a great example. You would get bits and pieces of the memory back eventually, but not all of it. It's like those old film reels used for movies. Imagine trying to watch that movie, but you only have 100 out of 1000 of those small squares to work with/remember. That, and you don't get to remember the experience itself, like a normal memory. No smell, touch, or taste. You only get sight and sound. Even then, the sight is just barely. Close your eyes as much as you can while just barely allowing yourself to see. It's like that in most of the memory, while being wider/more open in some parts.
While I don’t have DID I have been committed to psych wards and even a state mental health hospital for 6 months and I have not met one person during my last 15 years of random stays with DID or at least who told me so or seemed to have it. In the last year I’ve met 7 one was even a co worker all the alters seem cutesy and convenient with all of the. I get this DID exist but it’s at the point where a disturbing amount of people seem to want it and on top of that I notice they’re all early to mid 20s. Wanting to have mental illness is not going to help you in life and it won’t make you likeable, real mental illness doesn’t come with friends or clout or a “thing.” … They’re hurdles that you have to jump through just to be able to be on equal playing field with “normal people.” If you want to fake a mental disorder you probably have some issues you need to work on and that’s ok … but playing games with mental health professionals and online makes it harder for people who just want to live a normal boring life.
Thank you for making this video. You've found the right balance to explain factitious DID without expressing hatred. This made me and alters in my system reflect because we have been doubting a lot about our experiences and whether we're faking it (not diagnosed!). Then, we realised that we don't have "hidden motives" with our experiences. We don't do it for financial gain because the money to us has never been faking... it's gotta be earned through hard work. We don't do it for finding community because we're just not that type of system... or people to seek validation? We are our own community, protectors and persecutors and all. Your video just solidified our experiences and helped us reflect. So thank you.
I'm glad you were sure to say that, unless you're a professional, you should not be trying to accuse someone of "faking". cause really, unless you are a professional you wouldn't know enough to even be able to make that call. on another note, I'd love to see something similar to this about OSDD (mostly 1a/b, but I'm sure you could talk about the others as well). as that seems to be much less talked about than DID, and as you noted in the video, has a different checklist/symptoms/etc.
In the chronic illness community, DID in particular, the chances of an accusation-flinger also being a faker are very nearly 100%. These folks pursue their shared fantasies in slightly different ways, so usually the person being accused is just practicing a slightly different "denomination" of performance or behaving "hypocritically," which is making the accuser feel self conscious, embarrassed, or fearful of exposure. (Like how evangelicals get when an extremist churchmate acts out.) So if the accused can force their sinner back into line, that keeps the narrative moving in a way the accuser prefers. Or if they can get this alternative expression of the shared fantasy declared heretical, that means observers are less likely to expose them for being out of step with expectations. Maybe they think it makes them seem more legitimate as well. Illness fakers fascinate me. Why they do it, what they get out of it, sure, yes, but also how they maintain ideological purity in groups full of other fakers with slightly different ways of acting out the fantasy. They just seem to bristle with anger over other fakers. I wonder if they actually believe their accusations, or if they're just desperately hoping to distract everyone from the truth of their own behavior. Point being.. he who smelt it, usually dealt it.
Got my official diagnosis about a week ago. I kept being told by my family I was faking it, but even my creative writing professors were super confused. I'd write two or three pages in one writing style and skill level, then the next wouldn't make any sense at all when you looked in correlation as the style and skill level changed dramatically. After watching your video and realizing how many points you hit I decided to go and get the official diagnosis, which makes me feel relieved because now I understand what was happening to me. Thank you so much!
I have it Diagnosed recently after having an outrageous treatment of EMDR, which I don't recommend; My Life's been SO challenging, but in some way rewarding that because of that horrific Therapy/ I now have a better Counselor & very amazing, & starting to see & feel a glimmer of Hope which I couldn't envision before/ Love, My Team (Co- Conscience self Jess',) & 10 more of all of me; My situation is very real, & working through integration currently... + my Amnesias are hard, but my main support is my husband & my Choir Friends GRATEFUL FOR ANSWERS OF AN ABUSIVE PAST including 2 Rapes & also a Bike Crash WORKING ON COMMUNICATION--- Suggest Professional help I WAITED TOO LONG FOR IT Honesty in everything now!!!
I really enjoy the authenticity you display. I've been trying to learn about DID as I've felt misunderstood in my own journey seeking help for childhood trauma and ongoing depression and anxiety, and feeling misunderstood in that area has grown my passion for mental health awareness overall. Some channels seem to display DID as mysterious with strange lighting and very private (some of which I can understand) though seeing your content and your what you see is what you get just puts me at ease. It's like there's no image or thing you're trying to sell, you're just speaking of your experience, which is nice.
I love what you said in the beginning. You cannot know. I have Tourette’s syndrome. People accuse me of being a fake ALL. THE. TIME. I suffer from my disorder every single day and have a lot of trauma from full grown adults accusing me of being a liar and a fake my whole childhood. It still happens occasionally now and definitely happens on the internet. People love to feel like they are “discovering the truth” but please please do not accuse people because you really actually cannot know.
On a big server on discord we had someone saying they had DID, and after harassing many users and triggering some others, they ended admitting they didn't really had DID. It's such a shame people fake for attention or other reasons, it puts such a heavy mark in believing and trusting those who really have it :( Thank you for always informing us, Jess! And thanks to the entire system too💖
A similar thing is the reason I'm on this video, someone I used to call a friend on discord and after they upset many people (Even almost made on kill themselves) and afterwards decided to tell everyone in a massive server that they had DiD (Not even very good explanation) and even today told me that when I was upset, I was "upset at their child alter" and when I asked about it they ignored all of my questions and refused to tell me anything which made me doubt that they were diagnosed and just wanted to have it to get away from their problems.
My mom is a psychiatrist and I asked her if a patient has ever faked a disorder, her answer was no, but it is very common that people exaggerate (idk if you spell it like that) their symptoms AKA say that their symptoms are worse than they actually are
@@moonbabyhealing it’s easy to realise if you run tests and then you ask questions and they pick the worst possible symptoms as an example: “how does bla bla bla make you feel?” Answers: great, good, idk, bad, really bad. And then they pick really bad at every question. But I don’t know since I’m not a psychiatrist also just like the other person said - it’s literally her job she has had multiple patients before so she would know to compare symptoms and realise if there is something off, yadda, yadda, yadda. It’s also very common that people try to fit in boxes barley like if you look in the DSM 5 for… let’s say adhd - one of the DSM 5 is you can’t pay attention and some people would look at this and be like “hmm well sometimes I have trouble paying attention I must have adhd!” And end up thinking they have adhd when in reality that little trouble that person has paying attention that rarely happens is totally normal. So yh. My mother literally talks to these people for a living she would know if some of their stories don’t add up.
Thank you for this video! I've been suspecting having osdd or did for a while now, though since I am not sure and know that a lot of people with BPD (which is what I am diagnosed with) tend to have difficulty in their identity. So I feel like your video was super helpful and reassuring since I decided to not specifically tell my psychiatrist about me suspecting this and that bit rather tell him what exactly I am experiencing without trying to fit into boxes even though that makes me feel like I don't deserve help since nothing is wrong because I don't feel like I fit k to a box properly so I must be imagining or overreacting. But your video reassured me that it is ok to just say what you really experience, no matter if it ticks a box or not.
It's also important to know and realize: not everyone fullfills the symptom list perfectly. Not every illness goes after the books. You may suffer from something but be a bit asymptomatic. Keep that in mind. I wish you strength and that you'll find yourself, being able to live comfortably.
I see a lot of fake DID cases in TikToks of young teenage girls that make their rounds across the internet. Usually they display their "alters" at will and give them an acted segment on a TikTok, giving them unique outfits or something. They also tend to use Minecraft UA-cam personalities as alters. It's truly sad to see, they're clearly not getting the attention they need at home and some of their formative years have been stolen by a pandemic and replaced with an internet culture that romanticizes and trivializes mental illness, making it seem a fun and trendy personality trait rather than a serious medical classification used for determining what treatment is necessary. I'm hoping with time they'll grow out of it, they aren't mature enough to understand what they're doing.
What did the video JUST SAY about shaming people? If someone is engaging in attention seeking behavior, it's because they need attention because they're not getting their daily allotted amount Like, sure, it's better to find a healthier way to get that attention than starting drama in a comment section, but you do you I want you to know, we see you You're opinions are valid, even if they're wrong YOU are valid Take all the attention you need
@@hypotheticaltapeworm well, you're kinda trivializing their experiences as well, wouldn't you say? "All these people are faking it for an internet trend" you sound like an old curmudgeon yelling at hooligans to get off your lawn Not sure if you meant it that way, but that's how we took it I meant what I said about attention, and all those TikTok young girls need to get it from somewhere Also, sorry We've been disbelieved before We don't like seeing other people automatically assuming someone's faking it for that reason As for drama, the video you posted this comment about seeing people fake a disorder on the internet was about NOT assuming that people you see on the internet are faking a disorder Like, c'mon dude That's like posting a bacon egg and cheese recipe on a vegan blog It's gonna stir SOMETHING up
@@hypotheticaltapeworm I don't think you were necessarily shaming people, but definitely grouping every single person like that on TikTok into the same category and being accusatory how they're faking was a bit uncalled for. They could have it and are just poking fun at themselves, they could have it while also dramatizing it because they want/need the extra attention, or none of the above could be true! You really never know, so I would avoid fakeclaiming, ESPECIALLY when you're grouping different people into the same box. No hate, as always, but fakeclaiming even indirectly can do more harm than good, especially if someone has it and falls into whatever category someone else has made.
Thank you for sharing both the facts and the emphasis on compassion, understanding, and NOT being an armchair psychologist. We all need this reminder. You've been a ray of light for us in all this, one of the people in my head (not fully diagnosed yet, not sure if I can call him an alter) is a particular fan of your channel and how you're opening the doors to help other people express themselves
Appreciate the love. I am working hard not to assume any diagnosis, because if I'm wrong, I have to unlearn what I assumed before I can accept a new answer, and the coping mechanisms for DID might be very different than for something else. But it has a really negative affect on the other people in my mind when I start to wonder if I'm faking it, for whatever reason. Four new people showed up in the past two months and it's my job to look after them. Part of that is seeking a diagnosis. Then we can face the stigma and doubt. I never wanted alters, I never wanted to be personally involved in this community as anything but an ally. Although my trauma was 'not that bad' this video makes me feel a little less afraid of being told I've made it all up.
My biggest issue with psychology-based videos is how subjective the presenters have been. Why has it taken me so long to come across your videos! There is objectivity, thorough research that is directly applicable to the subject of discussion and the typical therapists demeanour: understanding, soft language and word choice and clarity, above all else. Thank you! xx
His cats are awesome. When I go to therapy (before all this covid stuff that is) I would always giggle if one of the cats went running past one of the glass door panels 😂. At the moment we're using Skype to continue our treatment and the cats will cut across the desk all the time 😂.
Honestly, I think some online communities play a very large part in this. It makes me wonder, is there any such thing as being ‘too accepting’? Like, when I was suspicious I had it, I joined these osdd/did communities where they told me everything I was experiencing was a symptom, even the most non-sensical things. This can lead a confused teen to be confident in their supposed disorder, and later when they realise they’re wrong it comes with much shame and guilt, especially if they shared it publicly due to the constant validation they received. (This isn’t talking about all osdd/did communities, obviously, but there are many like this.) I now know the symptoms I did have were actually due to something else, and I’ve learned a lesson to not go with my first assumption as many disorder symptoms overlap. Like, a lot. I think, when seeing someone very potentially malingering, we shouldn’t treat them with disgust, but understanding, and try to help them understand themselves as they could be going through rough times and need to be aware of what they’re doing to improve.
the online communities can def be "too accepting", but it depends. I'm in some ADHD spaces and they do tend to make the most miniscule details of their life a "symptom". I just shrug it off. Not everything in an even diagnosed person's life has to be about that dx
Your point of “too accepting” really hits hard. I used to be apart of an online community who was very, very supportive of mental disorders and health. It sounds good, but say anything bad about depression or OCD and next thing you know they start going after you. I feel like there is something bad about being “too accepting” because it leaves no room for self reflection and growth. It makes something that isn’t good, okay.
The vast majority of these can't even be witnessed outside a theraputic context. Yeah, you really can't tell if someone online is faking unless they admit it.
thank you for mentioning that you did meet people who seemed to be roleplaying. a lot of the times when people talk about "you can't tell if someone's faking" they make it sound like you are an evil person for even having second thoughts or even wondering if that someone's roleplaying. it is just ridiculous. it's totally okay to have a weird feeling with a presentation, just don't harass that person. quit contact, that's it. can't count how many people I blocked on social media because they seemed off to me, I'm not going to risk raising self-doubt or so. so thanks again! a great video!
Rach I totally get you lol. Our little sister has short term memory problems and sometimes mid conversation she’s like WAIT WHAT IM SO SORRY I CANT REMEMBER
The Infinity System Exactly! I think our system would completely go crazy if we didn’t have our memory holder Oliver. We have a memory room akin to Inside Out’s long term memory area and Oliver handles it for us lol. If we didn’t have him, I think we’d totally spiral lol
I don't have DID but I've been watching you guys for a long time now and it's part of the reason I'm going to study psychology. Forensic psychology specifically but still.
I went through a phase of having alters. I didn't call it DID, I didn't tell anyone about it. But I was so desperately lonely during that time of my life. So I made up a few people who I could talk to and have fun with. I half-convinced myself I did have DID. It's been a few years since then and I definitely don't have DID, haha. I probably do have BPD or something similar though. It's pretty embarrassing to think of that time in my life. But I really appreciate how kind you were in this video. I saw someone say 'if you didn't deliberately set out to fake you probably aren't faking'. Well... I don't think it's as simple as that. I certainly didn't do this for any gain other than to feel a little less alone. Nobody even really knew about this. But at the end of the day I did come to the realisation that I had made this all up. And that's okay.
I went through a similar thing. but i was fully convinced i had DID. i thought these voices in my head where alters, but it was just me. i was so lonely and so isolated i resorted to the “voices” i also think i have Bpd or a derealization/depersonalization disorder. But i also didn’t deliberately set my intention to fake it, i genuinely thought i had it, and i thought so for like 3 years.
Thank you for always being open and honest. Sharing your thoughts and knowledge with all of us and being careful not to hurt anyone at the same time. Sending giant hugs and love to you and the whole system!!!
I don't want to have DID anymore! Can I fake not having it? I am so tired of being misunderstood, socially awkward, and all the endless times I have come home and asked 'why?'...and then here an answer I wish I don't have to hear. I mean who would want to fake this diagnosis? Who would want any part of this? This is human suffering!
@@prism_of_selves just use grounding skills and understand that life is complicated, very..very complicated! I can't understand everything my brain does and I don't even know what I was thinking when whoever wrote that statement/reply from above? Does it really matter? DID is a side effect of abuse and I am trying not to be a victim anymore of it...on the other hand, who am I often comes up in my haste to make sense of all of this? Confusion leads to more confusion...once more, the best thing to do is to just say your normal to yourself and let the world deal with the dark side of the moon!
I’m seeing a therapist for the first time on Monday. Nervous as hell and I don’t know how to start, but I want to thank the courage of your system for coming to the forefront
As a mental health support worker I just want to say thank you so much for posting this video, I found it more informative and helpful than any of my formal training.
Keep up your work, you and your system are helping a lot of people. I’m a DID husband and supporter and wanting to do more from that side on helping to support people. And given the current climate, your doing awesome. Stay strong
This is such an informative and we'll presented video. My advice is that if someone close to you tells you they believe they have DID, is to advise them to get help. Actual or factitious, that person would benefit from therapy. Don't share you concerns about it being fake. But let them know that out of concern for their own well-being, you would like them to see a knowledgeable therapist.
I'm a psychology student and DID was the first thing that interested me enough to get me interested in the psychology field. I find videos like this extremely interested and potentially beneficial in my future. Thank you very much 🙂
Thank you. This was so compassionate and professional, i am really impressed, especially since there is so much malicious and biased content about people online faking their conditions.
Thank you so much for being a great advocate for the DID community! I found these resources after a friend of about 5 years came out to me with her diagnosis and trauma, and I really appreciate all of your work. You are amazing ❤️
I have seen a lot of videos like this within the DID community since a certain YT personality facilitated a significant amount of harm to the community. These kind of videos are really wonderful and informative, but I am truly sorry that these kind of videos are necessary at this time. People with DID do not deserve the negative stigma, nor to be harmed in such a manner. Much love to all the systems out there.
I’m a bit shocked to hear that people with legit DID don’t usually seek help. I wonder if it’s because of the constant thinking that they are faking it. So they don’t want to take up the time for people who are
i don't want to seek a DX because of 3 reasons; i constantly worrying if i am faking; and am worried they wont listen to me and insist im faking shit; and or worse claim all my headmates aren't real; when they clearly are; i am worried about discrimination and stigma that comes with a DID or OSDD diagnosis, i have heard about people being denied HRT, generally just denied autonomy in general if they have a DX. and that just isn't fucking worth knowing 'for sure' that i have it. i have trauma relating to psychologists and medical institutions. i also question the legitimacy of this checklist a lil bit;- it is really not cool when a few of these things in here apply to you;
I feel like most of the people with facticious DID actually have BPD. As someone diagnosed and in constant treatment for BPD, symptoms include identity issues and dissociative episodes. bpd is very common while DID is rare, so it's likely that's what everyone is struggling with. And even then I've met people who fake BPD very obviously and have no idea how extreme the symptoms present themselves
Also, people with BPD crave connection, love and attention (not in a bad way), it makes sense that some of them fake DID to get the attention and sympathy they need.
This video was really wonderful and helpful, but also so great because of how non-judgemental and informative it was. I have found that the minute you start watching videos about DID from people who don't have DID (and I guess don't filter their comments the same as dedicated DID channels), the comment sections are filled with people accusing all the popular DID youtubers of faking their condition, and looking for ways to definitively argue this. These are clearly just the comments of trolls with nothing better to do than accuse people of faking their conditions, but at the end of the day what really is the harm in faking DID? Of course for other people with DID it can be bad to see platforms given to those without the condition to speak about their experiences with it, but I think it is more harmful for people with DID to be constantly saturated with comments accusing them of faking their DID, and for those who have factitious DID to feel like they aren't worthy of getting the help they need. This video really helped to show that factitious DID-havers are people too, worthy of getting the help they need, and are not generally malicious people.
I have been subbed to you guys since around 20k. I've not only seen Ollie grow up, a new baby come and grow, but so much growth in all of you. I just wanted each of you separately to know how proud I am of you. I know you have all had different struggles on and off through the years, I also know new struggles will come and go. I just feel like you all have a strong support system down now to handle whatever comes your way. I know this channel was challenging at first but I hope it now brings you some gratification that you all deserve and some friendships you never expected. I consider you all my friends, that cute and supportive husband as well. All the love in the world -A
You are the most honest and the kindest system ever. It doesn’t matter which alter is speaking. The information you give and the way you present it shows how amazing your hearts are. Thank you all. You are the kind of people I want in my life. Honest, Kind, Compassionate, and full of Love.
From New Zealand here! Thank god for Jess! So refreshing to see someone real, I have had MPD for 41 years about time someone was real about this now called DID, sick of people using this for fame!!!
I'm curious to know if you've read much of the research coming out of Harvard in recent years with regards to DID/OSDD? I've found many of the articles and research done by Bethany L. Brand and her colleagues to be very interesting, especially those related to the validity of the various instruments out there intended to measure difference in dissociation between the disorders and which ones are able to differentiate simulated DID and genuine DID. If you haven't read much of her work, I highly recommend it. Thanks for this video! Very well done.
@@MultiplicityAndMe Would also like to look at this research! Would it be accessible on college level access to medical case studies and research? Might be able to find it there very easily myself as well.
honestly that's us aswell like I'm constantly saying "oh yeah no I'm just faking this bcus I hate myself and wanna be someone else" and the alters are just like: 😶👁️👁️
i used to think this for a while after i figured it out, especially because we live in an unsafe household so i can't get an official diagnosis yet and we're wary of telling our therapist about it. our protectors have been reassuring us that our experiences as a system are real and valid since then, but i can still relate a lot to this ljdkjsdhsjka
@@tomsafail we're positive that we have it. we figured it out by accident and we barely knew anything about the disorder at the time so despite our doubts, our protectors and older alters told us that we couldn't be faking it if we didn't know anything about it. i've asked other systems about it and done a lot of research on the disorder so i know that i am part of a system of alters. i live in an abusive household so it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to get a diagnosis. unless you are a DID/OSDD specialist or a part of a system yourself, please don't act like you know what it's like to have the disorder or the traumas that come with it, and please don't act like my current household condidtions are something to be laughed at. thanks.
@Nailea Olivas i'm sorry to hear that :( i hope u know that ur not alone in the struggle n even tho our experiences might not be the same i'm here for u
Thank you for all the kindness in this video! I was really happy how you mentioned that people online are likely going to be acting very different outside of the internet and that you should definitely not be judging someone from the one side they're showing. Also, I'm really happy that you gave validation to everyone because whether you are faking or not, you need help and should get the help you need. This also settled down my own doubts about my system seeing as I really have no motivations besides figuring out what's all happening with my head and why (I also really wanna help others through psychology but I gotta help myself before I can help others) and also watching your videos makes me feel valid even though I don't fit every box (I have pretty good communication with most of my alters, so that can make me freak out thinking that I've made them up because I'm not as separated from them as others who have systems, but systems are all different and my system just has really good communication) Thank you for helping so many people with your videos! You're all a wonderful system
I don't want to sound all mushy but I just want to thank this channel. I have D.I.D and this channel and DissociaDID have helped us so much. It makes me so happy to see both channels' videos. They make me want to cry with happiness. -Patricia, 17 years old (Host)
I believe I have DID... but I doubt myself very very often if I'm faking it... and I feel nauseous because of it, but at the same time it feels like I really do have it... but I just dont know... I feel like I have too much knowledge or communication with the alters I have for it to be real... I just dont know... I really want to get help.
I think there are many people who are suffering from pseudo DID.....keyword, suffering. They are suffering in someway. But right now, it’s so common on TikTok...and it’s really doing harm. Before 2018, I saw one client with DID. Now, we see 4-5 clients with DID every month, all self reported and self diagnosed, all between the ages of 14 and 25. And I don’t know why...I came here to try to figure out. Many of these clients, after working with them, tend not to have DID but just PTSD and a cluster B disorder. Granted, we have seen people with legimate DID. But they tended to be OLDER, than the flock of clients we see it with. Thank you for posting this, I know some systems don’t want to discuss this on their channel
I really appreciate this information! I personally am worried that I do have OSDD but since I've only noticed a lot of things after finding DID on UA-cam. I'm so scared that I'm faking. On the other hand if any alters feel safe to finally talk to me after I've accepted others with DID I hate to think of the things I've thought and said about the alter who has reached out. I currently can't seek any professional help and can just self reflect and hope I'm doing the right thing. Advice is welcome
The important thing is that you work with your symptoms 😊 you don’t have to fit into a diagnosis, but seeing a professional who can point you in the right direction may help
Audrey Gilmore Hi! I may also have OSDD. I’m not sure I do. I never liked self diagnosing myself on anything. I also can’t get professional help at the moment but I talked to a friend who is majoring in psychology and they have OSDD. Which was convenient for me. They actually recommend me this channel. But what this friend told me is whether this was a thing my brain was making up or an actual disorder, don’t worry about a diagnosis now, just understand and manage my symptoms, and just talk to the people in my head, they’re all there to help me, and seek professional help as soon as I could.
This happened with us we suddenly started noticing symptoms after seeing it on youtube. We thought we were faking but realised that those symptoms had just been our life and we never knew they were symptoms or had a name for them. It was only after youtube that we recognised these life things as symptoms. We were not looking for DID Symptoms in our past before we knew it exsisted via youtube we had no reason to not knowing it was a real thing. Stay strong! It is so understandable to have these worries.
So I have alters (I've been diagnosed with PTSD so far but hadn't talked about them while I had a therapist because I was scared I had schizophrenia at the time and then that therapist moved and I have to find a new one I trust) So I have alters, as far as I can tell and my sister and boyfriend can tell, and my boyfriend also discovered his alters around the time I discovered mine. I started to piece together things around age 15, although at that time it wasn't the amnesia or the voices, it was the memories I had pieced together. I had lots of signs of trauma when I was little, along with lots of things I don't remember, and along with lots of flashbacks (body memories rather than visuals) and panic attacks that didn't make sense to me. I got diagnosed with PTSD, and that's when my alters started to try and communicate with me. It took me a year to actually figure out DID was a thing and that it was more likely than me being schizophrenic since I was 15. I had started getting into states where it was less amnesia and more of a fuzzy state where I felt like I wasn't quite in perfect control, but I had some control (now I realize that's what co-conscious can be like, not every time but the times when I get freaked out because I don't get what's happening and start to dissociate) So one day I was working with my boyfriend at a firework stand (back then we hadn't started dating yet but we were friends) and I was wearing my favorite pair of guy shorts. And then one of my alters came out because he likes those shorts. His name is Sam, and he apparently wasn't in the mood to pretend to be me because he's a guy and I'm a girl and he really just wanted to feel comfortable being himself in his guy shorts, so since it was just him and my now boyfriend there, someone I trusted, he introduced himself as Sam. I was still conscious, but I felt super fuzzy and had practically no control and I was freaking out until he just fully came out. So I remember the start, but not most of the conversation they had until I was back out. A few days after he met Sam, he said he had to tell me something. He had someone living in his head. He didn't know what it was or why, but I believed him. Later on I found out his name was Leo and my sister had found out that all this was DID and through her we discovered Leo was a persecutor, which was why my boyfriend didn't want to talk much about him or was scared to talk about him because he thought he was crazy or going to get hurt. Eventually I also found out that Leo had met me, but had pretended to be him. A long time after this happened, I got to talk to Leo, who is now a protector and also one of the alters of his that I am closest to. When my alters became more accustomed to my boyfriend, he'd meet them and they'd talk a bit to him to see if they trusted him or not. My friends really liked him for a while, but then they started to hate on him when a trauma happened in my life and my system became a mess. He would comfort me and they thought he was babying me, and because he still had his own traumas coming up from family issues, his system was a bit of a mess too. So that's when my friends decided he was copying me. He learned about this alter thing from meeting one of mine, and then he only revealed more about his system the more we learned about mine. He wasn't copying me, they were just being mean because I wasn't in the mood to spend time with them when I was stressed and they were invalidating my emotions and making pregnancy jokes because I got a boyfriend. I wanted to spend time with him because he was helping me, so they attacked him. In retrospect, I can see how they were suspicious of him because the timing, but there was lots of little things that I can see a lot better now than back then that give away his alters. I can't say what exactly it is, but I can feel something off when it isn't him. I've also talked to Leo about why the timing was that way, and I was told that it was because the existence of my system meant a lot to my boyfriend. It meant that he wasn't crazy, and he wasn't the only one. Seeing another person with similar problems made it easier to accept that he had these issues, and it also was a sign that now might be a good time for healing. He had a support, so Leo trusted that he would be able to reveal the whole system to Logan in steps, taking the lead on my system. Really, alters can be lost when it comes to breaking the news or even trying to comfort everyone. They aren't these perfect things that know exactly how to fix every bad thing, they are people. They usually are just as lost as we are when it comes to knowing if it's the right time for us to know, so when you discover something that you relate to, or discover a community filled with people who will support you, your system will usually take that opportunity to help you. Seeing it in others before seeing it in yourself does not mean that you're exaggerating or faking it at all, it just means that this discovery was the time to find out. This discovery was your safe place of knowing that there is a reason for you to be hurt, there's a way to heal, and that you are not alone. Tldr; Just because you discovered it in UA-cam before seeing it in yourself, it doesn't mean that you are faking it from the discovery in any way. More than likely, your system saw this discovery as an opportunity to help you with the first step in healing by introducing themself to you. After discovery, you've found a community that can support you and that you can learn from. It's the perfect opportunity for an alter to introduce themselves, so don't think that it means you're making it up. You most likely are not and it's just your brain trying to protect you from knowing that there was any trauma at all (even if you already know there was, your brain will still go "nope")
@@kamamaunillama31alters are alternate states of personality and schizospectrum disorders cause people inside your head, I thought I had did until I got diagnosed with delusions
This is so interesting. I really can't imagine wanting to fake DID. If I could fake anything it would be being what is called "Normal". Thinking about that I realized I did fake "normal" from early childhood to my now 64 and breaking down at work. So many of us don't get diagnosed until later in life. But they gave me a whole bunch of other diagnosis all my life. I have an amazing ability to sound completely functional, highly intelligent and until now an excellent RN. So I guess it goes both ways. I love the way you speak. Clear, to the point, understandable to anyone. Just found you so I feel lucky. All you good guys are across that darn pond. If only we had you too.....pie in the sky dream.
This is so awesome! I love this, it's so validating because, typically, whenever we tell people, they all think we're too "young" (body is 16) to know... even though we are diagnosed... and some people say that they havent met some of the other peeps, yet they have but we just cover well for safety:/
Soo I have been lurking around the UA-cam DID community ever since DissociaDID did their colab with Jessica Kellgren-Fozard. I had been told by someone on a web forum the previous year that they were concerned I might have DID but I blew them off. But watching more and more stuff I started to wander. Then I started having conversation with people in my head. But none of it really seemed to fit DID I don’t have any amnesia or PTSD symptoms. So I’ve kept it to myself for ages. When I’m talking to the other people in my head I feel like they’re totally real but other times I feel like it can’t be, like it’s just my imagination. I have recently found out more about OSDD and it seems to fit a little better but I still can bring myself to really believe it. This is the first time I’ve put any of this out publicly even though I’ve been thinking about this for over a year. I have a referral to see a councillor on the nhs for other reasons but obviously everything’s ground to a holt atm, but even then I don’t know if I’ll be able to bring myself to tell them or even how I’d start. I don’t really know why I’m writing this video just stirred up a bunch of feelings and I actually wanted to tell someone this time. I dunno I might end up deleting this...
I think it's wonderful that you're finding a counselor to figure it all out Just be you and they'll help you find what you need Also, I really had no idea I had trauma at all until I turned 15, it's always possible and your brain will do everything it can to hide it. I do get amnesia, but usually it's not something I notice unless someone tells me that it's not the day I think it is (I may miss a week and just excuse it to not paying attention, but also when I think that a parade a week ago was the day before, it's clear that there's something missing) And then it's also possible that you don't have amnesia at all or don't have trauma and your brain just did its thing for what you needed I hope you figure things out because however it goes, you're valid : )
It’s great that you’re going to get counselling, hopefully it will clear up any confusion that you may have as well as help you with any potential problems that you’re having. One thing is that you mentioned that you don’t have PTSD symptoms, don’t feel as though this invalidates having DID, because a majority of the time the host (which you most likely are if you have DID) doesn’t show symptoms of trauma because they don’t have those memories of the trauma. Many DID systems don’t realise that trauma has occurred until they get their diagnosis, in fact having no memory of the trauma is part of DID unless you’re an emotional part. That being said it is possible that you have something different instead of DID, that’s completely fine as well. The important thing is to remain calm if you receive a diagnosis, even if it’s a diagnosis for a “scary” disorder such as schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder. Many of these “scary” diagnoses are NOT as scary as they may first appear and many people with them are able to live completely normal and happy lives. I’m sure that you’re aware of the stigma around DID and how that doesn’t line up with the reality of DID at all, it’s very similar with other mental health problems so just do your research and speak with others with the same diagnosis and that should help. Best of luck with your mental health journey and I hope everything works out for you!
It’s very good and brave of you to share this Elion💜 lots of people feel just the same, and there’s no way to really know until you do get in with a mental health professional who can help sort it out. If you’re not losing any time, it’s unlikely it’s DID, but it’s definitely worth bringing up with your counsellor, even if you’re not sure where to begin. It’s their job to listen and help you sort it out.
I've been talking to people in my head my whole life. I just put it down to invisible friends and not having RL friends, being an only child living in the middle of nowhere. They could be invisible friends, they could be Tulpas, they could be alters. No idea even with all the research I've done. I could easily just be not understanding and accidentally faking whatever I think I have with them. No idea who to read and go to for this, if I can find anyone.
Watching a few videos to try and see if I'm faking it. Sometimes I feel ok with and accept the possibility of DID or OSDD. Other times, I flat out reject it, and am convinced I'm faking it. Currently leaning towards the ladder of the two, hence why I'm here. I just don't know.
I know this is 4 months old but I just wanted to tell you all how valued you are in my heart! I think I’d be feeling super nearly completely lost and may have given up due to the chaos and sadness and such inside and my therapist needing to leave due to the pandemic, and trying to find someone else to “trust?!?!?!” And begin again after 2 yrs of finally trusting and finding a great and intelligent caring person for a therapist after terribly extra trauma causing “professionals” try to control my situation at their convenience etc, and other extremely scary behaviour.(it’s a well known fact that where I live, this is an actual risk to all needing mental health care in my community)🙁 Anyhow, thank you again! I very much see this content more clearly and positively understand it now compared to last time I saw this great video. 💜 super job !⭐️Jess(et.al)💜
Please don’t stop making these videos it’s really important that someone like you has a channel . You’re the most balanced and informative of all DID you tubers that I’ve known and it’s amazing that you’re here . Many channels pertaining to dissociative disorder have been problematic in many ways whether they meant well or not . As you said everyone who believes they’re being affected by dissociative identity disorder shouldn’t be told right away they don’t have it by random people they need facts and ways to find out if they’re issue is in fact this specific disorder . ..there are many ways to find out about it and I love that instead of gate keeping you give facts and encourage us to look further .
Hey so I don’t have did but I struggle with my mental health in other ways and I’ve always been really interested in these sorts of videos as a result. Thank you so much for creating such honest and educational content :)))
In terms of point 10 specifically, bear in mind that this checklist was published in 2001 (so probably drafted/created in about 1998-2000, depending on the data collection period of research), and involvement in community groups and support groups would be exclusively referring to face-to-face meet ups. So while a lot of people with genuine DID would likely find it much, much easier to talk about stuff online (due to the anonymity and ability to escape the situation safely with no consequences), in a face-to-face setting that would likely be very different, hence the inclusion on this checklist. Very informative video by the way! Thanks!
i will admit, at first, i was scared to see this video in my recommended. we share the same opinion as you when it comes to fakeclaiming where, unless you are their personal therapist, you cannot claim such a thing about them. thankfully, this video was well explained and emphasized a lot of points that i was afraid wouldn't be made. it's very unfortunate that there are a chunk of professionals that may change the list a bit in order to suit their own biases, such as not diagnosing a system because they recognize themselves or not looking at OSDD or the otherwise unspecified category when it comes to diagnosis. i'm happy to see another system similar to us that wants to spread the good message and change the psychology community's perspective on DID.
I like how this is genuinely helping me determine wether I should seek professional help or not as that cloudy feeling has been taking over my life recently and I’ve been so afraid and staring at the clock because it seems like I’ve been missing entire days or or forgetting so much.
Everyone in this system always explain things so clear and calm. Very informative and easy to follow. I have bin diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 and BPD 7 years ago and I found this channel before my diagnosis because I did think at one point I was not the only one in my body but I have learned there’s a lot of similarities. Small things line up with so many mental illnesses, I personally feel I can empathize on certain things. At the same time I can’t imagine how hard it must me to share a body...I can’t even share my brain with myself. Lol now say one altar has BPD and one alter had agoraphobia...that’s not a good combo....seems like things could be very difficult at times. I do know that when it’s ur life u just have to live it. Thank you all for making this platform for so many people. You are helping our world.
My mom is a therapist for people mainly in DID so she’s really good at finding the faults but she never gets fakers in her clients so she’s honestly lucky.
Some of these are really interesting because I suspect I have DID. The self-help group one makes sense because I went into one and I was so confused by everyone’s symptoms to the point where I don’t comment or actually go in them. I find that it is triggering, been called a faker in one and blamed for it, and I have never really asked for validation from strangers. I post up stuff here and there from panic and stress but it doesn’t feel like a self-help group for me. It feels like curiosity more. And I struggle to go into my past so I kind of say, “I went through stuff.” And that’s it. Not going into it anymore over that. And I can describe my experiences extremely well and can give a good example. But I feel scared to say it because mental health workers are intimidating. Idk why. This is my explanation of my symptoms personally. Depends on everyone else aha Update: I’m now diagnosed with DID
I can relate to not talking about my symptoms to counselors or therapists (I've been diagnosed with PTSD but I never got around to talking about the people in my head) When my system first started communicating with me I honestly thought I was schizophrenic and didn't want to say anything about them because I didn't want to be called crazy I gave one little hint to my therapist one time because I was panicking about a persecutor and didn't want to explain whose rules I had to follow But now that I know I'm probably not delusional I'm going to be looking for a therapist to find out a diagnosis
It has taken me YEARS of therapy *and* finding the right therapist to be able to speak of my past, at all!! It's still extremely difficult because a lot of the times I simply don't know the answer. Keep trying, and don't give up!!! Much love, Kell - longterm host
This is so very helpful. We've just recently started therapy, not specifically for trauma but I did make sure to bring up that a trauma specialist would be more beneficial. We aren't diagnosed but our symptoms were recognized by a teacher in grade school first, then over the following years more and more shit happened and everything got unmanageable. Then when we actually started doing research a few years ago, we came across you and DissociaDID here on UA-cam and we learned so much and continue to learn. We did decide to join the community but for the first couple of months we weren't active. It wasn't to validate ourselves, it was more of a curiosity. Recently more and more trauma memories have been cropping up and while our collective is more stable our minds aren't. More flashbacks, more nightmares, more fear and anxiety and harsher triggers, more numbness and detachment. It's getting too overwhelming which is why I finally decided to seek therapy. I'm trying to focus less on the box and more on the symptoms, because sometimes I DO seek validation, but I'm trying to be as honest and open as I can be with her so we can actually get all this shit figured out.
This was a really comforting video as someone who doesn't have DID but has other sort of mental health problems: I love that you mentioned that people with genuine DID will show up on a couple of the "fictitious" points, because it really highlights that there isn't a 'perfect' way to have DID or to display your symptoms. I know that, having had to explain my mental health over and over again, I can articulate things quite well, and that makes me feel as if I'm 'faking' somehow. But it's (hopefully) because I've HAD TO explain a lot of times to access the help I needed.
Thank you for this, Jess. It will be extremely helpful going forward in raising awareness and training professionals in correct diagnostic skills. Very well balanced, drawing on key research and offering insight from your own perspective. This will become a key video to point people towards when they doubt their own diagnosis. Clinically, my experience is seeing people with DID who do not hit these flags, and helping those people understand what DID is through expert-by-experience is critical, so your educational videos help enormously. Keep up the good work!
I don't have DID but could i ask you a question about my (possibly wrong) PTSD diagnosis?
When Jess mentioned that an incorrect diagnosis can convince someone they have a condition, it got me thinking because my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD after my ex boyfriend tried to murder me, but my PTSD doesn't present itself in the 'normal' way with flashbacks? I don't get flashbacks, but whenever i'm in a threatening situation or i feel like i'm in danger, my mind just goes absolutely blank and it just goes to this proper animalistic fight or flight response, like ill either flee the scene like a bat out of hell and if i cant i end up fighting like a dying cornered dog, ill turn into an actual violent monster and start biting and growling and whatever other violence to get away with no memory of it afterwards. (I don't have DID, no childhood trauma) Luckily, it hasn't happened in years because i'm very anti-violence and never get in those situations but it still scares me that i could seriously hurt someone.
Do i even have PTSD? Or is that something else entirely? Therapist mentioned Borderline personality but never diagnosed me with that and i don't really know what it is anyway
@@chriser3753 Hi, I'm sure you can understand that I can't comment on a clinical issue. You sound like you want some reassurance, so going back to your GP and checking this out will help. Take care, Mike
@@chriser3753 I get that and have been diagnosed cPTSD. I'm not a professional but it doesn't always present the same way. I get the wild animal anger and don't remember it later.
See a professional if you aren't sure about it but I do believe that your description is a lot like my PTSD.
Stay safe x
I somewhat disagree here. I'm very recently diagnosed and I scored super high on the diagnostic test (200-something) and while I don't hit any other markers knowing that that could be a sign of faking DID makes me infinitely less confident in my diagnosis. Accepting it is something I'm greatly greatly struggling with and my therapist assured me she has confidence in my having DID but this video was somewhat of a step back for me.
Which definitely isn't Jess's fault but I would caution showing this video to someone questioning themselves.
I appreciate she's not shaming those suffering with fictitious did. They are still suffering and need help even though it's a different condition. I don't know what I have and often doubt myself and tell myself I'm making it up, and that isn't something to put more guilt on myself . Speak to a professional regardless I think.
Bless. I seem to have an alter but I have no clue if it's an OSDD alter or just something one of my other mental disorders made up as a coping mechanism. I know I'm not faking it for fun or anything, but I still get wary that I am faking it in some way and am a bad person because of it. I do have BPD, so this supposed alter could just be an odd manifestation in my head, as opposed to an actual, separate consciousness. But even if he's not an alter, he DOES feel different from me? Idk... it's hard to explain.
Rennie i have bpd too and i kind of get what you’re saying. i also have these different “parts” of myself that represent the mood or emotional state i’m in but they’re not like a whole different person just parts of my personality. so i just wanted to say i think i understand what u mean
@@NoName-rb5pe Yes, I think I do too. I have bpd, cptsd and prone to dissociation, depersonalisation. "They" stay in my head but haven't developed into alters. Sometimes I approach things saying, "WE should do this..." I've been told they are fragmented parts, like you said, of my personality. It happened during trauma and therapy is meant to help me get these parts working together to become whole. It's so tough. The Punishing Persecutor is the worst, such a destroyer : (
Debbie Young same and sometimes my hand does things to get my attention like if I’m not paying attention to someone literally one of my hands would poke me and or softly pull my hair
@@popstarfreddy omg I get that too, sometimes when I'm anxious and dissociated my right hand will start stroking my left one or I'll pet my hair subconsciously
i think this is the most honest video I've seen about faking DID
ua-cam.com/video/-0gxlQotwtE/v-deo.html honesty
Definitely most educational.
And from a person WITH DID, in the most respectful, educational way. This really gives more credence to the disorder. Instead of others saying "it's real, completely accepted, and super common". Like I get having that defense mechanism when it has to do with something that's so personally affects you, so this just shows how informed and valid Jess as an advocate is.
i mean... it was created from a checklist by an actual doctor. but it’s nice to see videos that present both facts and opinions without being offensive
Does that mean Trisha Paytas is finally exposed as BS?
I have an emotionally abusive ex who faked having DID only after we started dating. He admitted in the beginning that he was purposely role playing his alters so they could date mine. This made me extremely uncomfortable when he was “creating” very young alters to date an alter in my system who I considered my child. I said something to him about it and he told me he had never said he was creating them, that it was offensive that I even asked him about it, and that I was being cruel. I reminded him of what he had said previously and he insisted he never said that and that I couldn’t trust my memory. He also told me my own trauma, which I have evidence of from others in my family, was something I dreamt up. He maintained that he never had amnesia throughout our whole relationship and said he could control his alters, until he cheated on me with my friend and then suddenly he had amnesia and no control over what was happening. I definitely think he needed help, yeah. But what he did was definitely harmful and I have spoken to other people with similar experiences. Sometimes in abusive relationships, especially if you have been through previous abuse as a child, you can’t just distance yourself from the person. Especially if they have distanced you from everybody else in your support system.
I’m glad you covered this topic though, because it’s something I feel like so many people in the community are afraid of talking about.
I’m so sorry to hear about your past experience with this and I’m glad you’re out of it and safe now. Thank you so much for sharing your story
he sounds awful, i'm sorry for what you went through :') i hope things are better for you now!!
Hey System K. I follow your channel and hope you’re doing ok. You should be very proud of the work you are doing on yourself - your system is adorable and your family (and dog 😊). You experienced horrible things but you are great and funny and I hope you start posting again in the future. Take care 💗
That ex definitely was abusive and so deliberately so by pretending to have D.I.D. and then gaslighting you when you questioned him about his behaviour towards you. He sounds like a narcissist and he'd need a psychologist to assess him and provide a diagnosis for his particular personality and/or mood disorder(s) but, just based (up)on what you've related above, it certainly seems like he has the symptoms of a narcissist and maybe a covert narcissist if I had to speculate on the type of narcissism. Is that your view now you are thankfully away from his psychological /emotional abuse?
I would feel extremely betrayed and hurt if someone close to me deliberately pretended to have the same condition as myself - Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) in my case - seemingly to get close to me and more easily gain both my empathy and trust plus to create feelings of closeness, intimacy and being understood. There's a special connection between individuals who have the same or very similar conditions such as someone with C-PTSD or PTSD meeting someone with the same condition whether one meets online, in and during a self-help therapeutic group, or through some other therapeutic avenue...and when someone uses this connection and manipulates an individual who genuinely does have a trauma-related condition (whether PTSD, C-PTSD, OSDD, &/or D.I.D.), it does considerable psychological harm.
I hope you have been able to not only see the ex as an abusive male who uses and abuses others and have learnt not to blame yourself for trusting and believing them, but have been able to move on somewhat and begin to heal from the matter? Wishing you the very best, from Australia 🌷
System K yikes he sounds really toxic and has gas lighting behavior.. I hope he gets the help he needs because he obviously has something going on.. i’m sorry he put you through that, you didn’t deserve that
My brain: I’m faking DID.
The facts: There’s no way you are. You fit all of the criteria and you don’t want to tell people so it can’t be for attention.
My brain: I must be watching this video so I can get better at faking DID.
The facts: Wait-
tahtee burp AMEN. Newly became aware of my system, too and everything is moving so fast! About a week ago we started speaking to one another in a journal and yet my whole life I’ve just been living assuming that I’m the only one in this body. The only thing keeping me from going crazy over if I’m faking it or not is the amount of people that experience this same doubt. You’re definitely not alone.
Tyler 💛💛 When you guys speak in journals and such (I get that suggestion A LOT because I am still having trouble making contact with my system, I am unsure if they realise we are actually alters.) how does that work? Do you write to them and they switch in and write to you? I’m mostly co-con so it just feels weird to write almost just to myself? Feels like I’m faking it even more if I’m aware of the replies in the journal if you get me.
Lol this is me too lol. There's probably never going to be any clarity in my case so I just decided that as long as nothing seems weird to other people and as long as I'm not blanking while talking to people, it's not enough of an issue to matter
Tyler And I’m the same way! I’ve always had these symptoms which I didn’t know were symptoms and now suddenly it makes sense why I have all these voices and why I dissociate and then the amnesia and trauma episodes. And living like a system even just for this last week and a bit has been so much easier. I’m not waiting to be triggered and blow up, I know how to recognise things that will upset me and be calm if that makes sense. So I guess what is my persecutor doesn’t have to come out and abuse everyone and push them all away.
Yes
i'm 20 now. when i was 15 i genuinely mistakenly believed i had OSDD. there was nothing for me to gain from it- i was a confused teenager with autism and psychosis in a toxic relationship- (i was not diagnosed at the time) and the online DID community i was around truly made me believe i had it. the only person i told was my ex, i thought i had an alter because my personality was so split down the middle between two extremes of being myself and surviving a relationship, and i thought the shame and embarrassment i had for part of myself was proof it was another person entirely. now i know with certainty i do not have DID or OSDD, but i've never heard anyone share the perspective i have before so i thought i would.
I came to comment something similar! I’m 24 and when I was ~ 16 I thought I had DID and told my toxic partner about it too. Since being in therapy I have also been diagnosed with autism, as well as adhd and ptsd. It’s wild how different things can show such similar symptoms!
I relate extremely hard
Holy.. I have been having these thoughts... I have the autism adhd combo, and at times I’m certain my personality changes... I talk to myself, like not out loud, but it’s like I’m fully analyzing my own behavior in a whole new, however consistent, way. Thinking differently, seeing basic principles in different light, etc. and punching down my “other personality .” I know it isn’t DID or anything similar, but in the moment it feels like I’m going crazy. I think it’s just a moments clear thought in the midst of a very messy and cloudy brain... but thats fucking scary when you’re not used to it
Omg I went through exactly the same thing, I never thought I had altars exactly but I felt like in the background I probably had did and was just too out of it to know what symptoms I was even having
Just autistic, schizophrenic, and was being tortured
I’m so glad o didn’t have all the social media content to possibly brainwash myself into???
@@dr.blauerkraut I do this to process things, think about things, to be self aware, and to grow. I conjure up another self(ves?) give them different roles and motivations, and have them discuss. When I was a little kid, I did it in a much less subtle way. I basically played a game of pretend, imagining *other* people.
So I found the DID community on UA-cam about a year ago I only found you a couple months ago. However I did just recently meet a girl I really like that has DID and she was so concerned about bringing somebody new into her life and honestly I want to thank you because I at least had enough education to make her feel welcomed and they are some of the most amazing people I have met!
Thank you for this.
I have a few friends online with DID, and being educated from channels like these helps me understand and help them be comfortable so much better!
Thank you for being supportive of people like us with DID!!! Lots of love from the Wildflower System!!!
No really thank u for this thank you for ppl who see ppl with d I d as normal ppl with a different system because we didn’t kno how to fully cope when we was kids .....we just trying I appreciate everyone who loves some one with d I d even if it’s not me
@Shay !!
Sending you love!! ❤️ 💕 everyone deserves some love, including you 😊 praying for you
Also, people know of they’re intentionally “faking”. If you didn’t sit down one day and thought up a disorder to fake, you’re most likely not faking. I don’t have DID, so I can’t speak on that experience, I’m chronically ill and disabled and I’ve been accused of faking by doctors and friends and family members many times. And it really made me struggle with believing myself and my symptoms, and just made me question my reality and memories. But I know I didn’t sit down and decide to fake chronic pain. I’m not gaining anything from not being able to do things anymore. And I think it’s important to remember if you’re struggling with worrying if you might be faking, that it’s a conscious choice. Because if it isn’t you definitely still need treatment. You deserve to feel better.
it's rly depressing that I just posted a comment w basically the same thing. I'm also chronically ill and have bipolar and i've been gaslit so much by people who wanna play armchair dr that it's rly messed w my sense of reality and identity.
Felix Henson it is truly infuriating that this is such a common experience in our community. I really hope you have (or will find soon) medical professionals and friends that believe you and genuinely want to help. Experiencing a doctor not questioning my self reported symptoms even once was a genuinely life changing thing for me. Everyone deserves that.
Even if you did fake it on purpose you’d still need at least some sort of therapy. A person with healthy emotions just doesn’t do that
This is not necessarily true. Hypochondriacs frequently do not realize that they are ‘faking’ it. www.webmd.com/mental-health/somatic_symptom_disorder
@@bluecannibaleyes It literally says on that page that hypochondriacs are not faking or lying about their symptoms. Usually it is their excessive fear, worry and stress that is producing symptoms or their emotions are outweighing the scale of their health issue. But they didn't sit down one day and DECIDE to pretend to have these symptoms, their concerns and distress are very real to them, they have just catastrophised the real symptoms they do actually have and convinced themselves that the headache they have must be a brain tumour. That's not what faking something is. Their distress is real, their symptom is real, they think their paranoid catastrophised version of the truth is real.
Faking it would require forethought and understanding that it is NOT real, which is not the case with hypochondriacs. A hypochrondriac isn't telling you they have a brain tumour to deceive or trick you - they are genuinely terrified that they have one. Having an incorrect or false belief created by fear, anxiety and paranoia, isn't the same as faking it. Their feelings are real, they think they are telling you the truth, and they're not convincing about it - you're likely going to be able to tell their belief is irrational, but to them it is rational.
Someone faking a brain tumour would know they don't have one. They would likely know how to charm and convince you. They would actively be lying to you to deceive you, likely to get something from you. They wouldn't have actual anxiety or fear about it because it would be part of a planned narrative.
When my dissociative symptoms first started interfering with my life, a friend actually confronted me saying "is it you today or (alter name)" and I was pretty confused. She told me to look up DID, so I did and thought it was interesting but nothing I could have. A few months went past and the thought of DID would just pop up in my head when I least expected it, so I looked it up again, and sort of had a moment when I realized some of my symptoms matched up. On top of that, another friend had informed me I had introduced myself by another name at one point. So, I went to therapy when it got to the point I couldn't take it anymore, and started off by bringing up DID, which was not the best idea. The psychologist I saw immediately wrote me off as a faker for going there with the idea of DID already, when really I was just concerned. I could see it in her eyes, the exact moment she stopped listening. I'm definitely not faking my symptoms, and as time goes on I'm more and more sure I have DID. But to many people the fact I came to my own conclusion means I'm pretending. I actually often doubt myself for that reason, and the reason that I came to the online community because I felt alone in my struggles. The only reason I would prefer a diagnosis, whether DID or not, is because I won't be able to stay with my current psychologist forever, and having a clear "label" would help ensure I was able to continue treatment somewhere else.
Nearly the exact same thing happened to me, except my symptoms more closely line up to that of OSDD 1-B
I have had a very similar experience of self discovery at this point I think i could have either OSDD or DID but then again part of me still worries that I'm deceiving people somehow over this
You need to go in one day to therapy and just tell the person if your not going to listen to my concerns than i need a new one. Literally tell them everything from the beginning on how your friend was the one you brought up DID and that you didnt even know of the existence until than. That you doubt you had it for the longest time and completly forgot about it for a while. Until you recently looked up and things clicked. That your nervious. And that your concerned if you do, and that you just want to know the truth of whats going on.
If she or he cant listen to anything you have to say than you need a new therapist who will listen and take your concerns seriously and not rub you off as a faker becauae you actually brought DID up after your friends confronted you about possibly having DID.
Lame Duck i mean, yeah? Friend had heard about did, alter fronted w/o OP realising that’s what happened, and introduced themself to the friend. Friend comes up to OP when they see them next and asks if it’s them or whatever name the alter used, by that name, not ‘is it you or your alter’. Alters can front before the host knows they have DID, and those gaps in time are often what clues people in to that there’s something wrong.
honestly, diagnosed or not, with label or not, i'd say just skip and seek treatment someplace else. idk if i misinterpreted but i thought ye said yer staying with this current therapist to get a label in order to finally cut ties and find another therapist. if thats the case, well worry not: as a client, yer not obligated to stay with one therapist until certain condition is met (in this case: getting a diagnosis) in order to bounce and find someone with whom yer going to be comfier. least thats what i know, idk if there're places where clients *do* need to stay a certain amount of time/session.
if theyre not interested in yer case, DID or not; mentally ill or not (honestly lets normalise seeking professional help even if only to vent out stress: get a more experienced guidance and feedback compared to the average people's), then it's essentially a dead end. and, if yer paying out of yer own pocket, waste of money as well. best of luck.
I love that you included the perspective of "what if you feel you may be faking" without judgement and with acceptance and help. This is what healthcare should be like. Thank you.
It's a breath of fresh air for those of us who can't get help yet and are constantly doubting ourselves.
You handled this very tricky topic with such maturity and compassion. Thank you for helping the community by creating this resource. There was a lot of loving reassurance for both those with genuine and factitious DID here. I don't think anyone but you could have created that environment so well. -Wyn
Do you still support nin?
@@Thisisnotapipe_ dude chill
Why is this about Nin? 😐
@@MultiplicityAndMe bc shes been a huge topic in the did community for malingering. People have attacked her and i wanted to know if y'all still supported her.
@@patriciacurtis349 i am chill? Lol
We flip-flop so often, as host I find the times where my head is finally quiet I manage to convince myself I'd made everything up - the moment I hear someone or they come forward again I remember just how real it all is. We needed this today!!!
SAME!!!!!! Omg, when I haven’t blacked out, or when I’m not co-fronting or whatever, I convince myself I’m making it up. But then I start hearing voices and switching and I’m like “hun, you’re not faking it”
@Oni I'm kind of in the same boat. I started to research DID and OSDD and everything lined up, and I wound up kinda going into a mental frenzy to figure it all out.
Talked to a family friend with DID, then my parents, and at that time they sounded like they were saying like 6 different things and I got so stressed I shoved it all down and now, even after a month or two, I can't really see anyone as easy anymore.
It's like my imagination went with it, and especially the figure of one that would always be with me. They're gone, I'm still having trouble being creative and all. It hurts so damn bad, too. It's difficult, and I dunno how I'll actually figure out if I have one of those disorders or not.
@Oni Go see a doctor but Ill bet money that DID isn’t the correct diagnosis, because first of all if you have alters and think you can silent them…Well you aren’t even supposed to know about your alters…you’re supposed to get memory loss that impacts your ability to remember them…so, see a doctor about what you have, but I’m betting it’s not DID
THIS! We don't have the amnesic walls- and we are all- somewhat connected. Last night I had a meltdown and- just- I was very close to killing the body. But suddenly they popped up- and everyones panicking. and just- hoo.
I'd love to remind you of what Google search is so that you don't take this channel and it's misinformation at face value. individuals with real DID don't actually fkn pull up different personalities that are quirky and aloof and glitter uwu bs.
They go into disassociating coping mechanisms when it's not even a convenience.
In real life they don't turn into another personality. They go into something similar like PTSD. And they look like they are distressed in situations that range from gagging, ripping their hair out, hitting themselves against a wall and going into fetal positions under the table. They would be setting up a fkn camera and humming to bring out a fictitious entity that sits in their brain that has nothing to do with who the host of the body is. It would always be the host of the body having a flash back as their previous selves during the trauma.
Channels like this one have launch dozens of impressionable children and adults that are in the spectrum to finesse a disorder out of thin air and become unable to function cognitively cause they think they are being stunning and quirky and they never try to figure out their actual personality cause they rather have the seven dwarves in their brain.
“Distance yourself” - best advice in general for anyone becoming uncomfortable around anyone (boundaries!) but even more important in delicate instances like these if for example someone is becoming particularly offensive to you and you want to avoid huge conflicts/getting involved in addressing something only a therapist should be dealing with. Great video
At the risk of getting hate, as someone who has " considered having did" you KNOW when you're faking. It just feels different. you can tell when youre talking to your own self. Its like reading both parts to a script. That you wrote lmao. ( These were only internal thoughts never verbalized to anyone or for any gain. Simply introspection to asses my life and consider possibilities, it was quickly ruled out )
Idk, when I ‘faked’ having an alter ego back in middle school/high school, it wasn’t exactly like that, it was more like OSDD...yet I had never even heard of that disorder at the time. Still not exactly sure whether or not it was entirely ‘fake’, but it doesn’t make sense for it to have been ‘real’, considering I’ve never experienced anything like it before or since.
To also risk hate when I pretended I had multiple personalities when I was young (I had never actually heard of did specifically and most of my references were from media) I knew it wasnt real deep down but I was in a dark place and I thought if I separated two parts of myself I wouldnt be so alone and also back then it was hard for me to catagarize myself into stereotypes like tomboy nerd ect so I made myself believe I had to be two separate people since I didnt fit those boxes luckily I grew out of it but ya it was definitely just me essentially talking to myself and writing two separate lives
I don't know about that. I know I don't have DID but sometimes it really feels like it. Like, I will find poems I don't remember writing and texts I don't remember sending on my phone and sometimes I'll look back at something I wrote or posted just a few days ago and just think.. "That wasn't me. It just wasn't. Why would I do that? that's nothing like me." So I think if you fake it you can still really feel like you have it. Plus, you can convince your mind of anything.
I agree with Jane TM and others. I have kind of imaginary friends since I'm child, they're still present today, very close to me, and frequently I talk with them in my head or just feel as if I let them control my body when something difficult happens of just I don't feel good, I let them express their own perosnality... (sorry for my poor English) I know it's not DID, they're just parts of me and I don't have amnesia nor deep childhood trauma etc. But each time I discover another trouble which looks just a bit like what I experience, I always have a period during I wonder if maybe I have this trouble or not. It is so easy to convince yourself that yes, you have this trouble, because you REALLY need help but don't really understand yourself why. It is more comfortable for the brain to be able to say "I have THIS trouble", and to feel being part of a community, and to receive the attention you need. It is you that you convince, before the others. It is so easy to lie to yourself.
BPD can be mistaken for DID and vice versa, and with how suggestible someone with BPD can be, they can easily truly believe they have DID when they don't. BPD and severe PTSD have quite a bit of overlap on paper with DID, thanks to the blackouts and identity disturbance.
I think it's SO important to try and not see people with factitious disorders as 'bad' or malicious. Often there's a deeper reason why they feel the need to (consciously or otherwise) mimic DID symptoms, and that reason is often more innocent than you might think.
If you really can't bring yourself to show compassion or understanding-step away. There's a huge gatekeeping problem in the online community (I've not been in said community for a while for that very reason).
So true. I forgot I was on a DID server and thought they were roleplaying. I felt so ashamed that I left.
true, i mimicked some DID symptoms as a coping mechanism, i never meant any harm towards the community whose hard work and support always helped me feel better. i've tried to keep it mostly to myself and not claim to have the disorder, but if someone goes so far as to pretend to have a severe disorder, they clearly have something going on that needs to be addressed.
They're sheltered, socially stunted girls who are chronically online. They have nobody to talk to who is as obsessed with Minecraft UA-camrs as they are so they pretend to be them. It's as much a first-world problem as it can get. Imagine thinking "gatekeeping online" is some sort of issue that matters. They need compassion, but not from me, not from strangers online. Their likely present parents and therapists should do that, they ought to take a break from their thousand-dollar TikTok machine and process whatever it is that's actually wrong with them rather than hide and use DID as an aesthetic because it's so quirky and fun. They don't need you white knighting for them either, that enables them. Your comment says leave them alone and condone their behavior, and I refuse to do so. It's not good to pretend to have a serious condition ESPECIALLY when there is clearly not an intent to take it seriously and treat it, but to flaunt it. It's bad. It should be actively discouraged.
@@hypotheticaltapeworm This.
@@hypotheticaltapeworm while I agree with this, putting these people into into a small stereotype like you have isn't helpful
My ex-boyfriend faked having DID. He admitted to it over a year after I met him. I knew that if he was lying about it, he needed help in some way and he just didn't know how to show it so I stayed with him and was supportive as possible. Although, after he cheated on me all of the awful things he would say to me as his alter came back. He would use his fake alter to cheat and be awful without consequences. I hope that he didn't make anyone at school doubt the legitimately if DID. I can see how their experience with him could hurt someone they meet with legitimate DID
Omg out of topic but love that profile of inertia 😩 btw, hope you are ok, he was an asshole, but you were so mature to actually help him even though normally someone would just left him
So sorry you went through that :-(
so more people fake DID, so they can date someone with it? because those don't feel good dating outside the community ? or is it a sadistic kick out of fooling and controlling? it is not done because they desire someone so much, as they cheat in the end.
@@kyrabytes563 yeees I love inertia. And thank you.
@@kaiyodei I personally don't have DID so his intent wasn't to get with me. I'm not sure why he did it actually.
I kind of stumbled onto your channel. I was really interested in what you were saying. Because of your channel, I realized that my older sister exhibited a lot of what you had described. Growing up I had thought she was joking whenever she would tell me she was Louise (her name is Linda). Louise isn't the nicest of people, so I thought it was an excuse for when she was being kind of mean to me.
After I found your channel I started reading up on DID. I talked to her and her husband. She ended up talking with a therapist and was officially diagnosed. So just want to seriously thank you. It explains so much of the things that happened growing up.
I will say, as someone who experiences a state of mild-severe dissociation/derealization daily, and suffers from bpd (extreme mood changes daily), I did ask my psych whether it was possible I had d.i.d. I never pretended I had it, or tried to emulate it... I just wanted answers. They gave me a simple test, and it was able to let us both know that I do not suffer from d.i.d. However, I am finding IFS therapy very helpful, as the therapist or yourself talks to the different parts of oneself, only I do not have the amnesic walls between those parts of oneself that someone suffering from d.i.d. experiences. (sorry if I misspoke on any part)
Puck Gwin I love the approach you’ve taken with this, I think most people have what you have in the DID community online and not actual DID but instead adopt the whole DID as a personality trait. Dissociative identity episodes are evident in a lot of disorders especially BPD and should still be treated
I also dissociate often. It feels like I’m not real or I’m in a dream world. I’ve never felt like I had “alters” or anything like that. It’s just an overwhelming sense of feeling like a ghost.
Ascended Nightingale oh man, I’m glad to hear someone else talk about this. That’s how I describe it to other people. I don’t have DID, but I do have major depressive disorder. Derealization and depersonalization are sure signs that my MDD is getting out of hand. The world takes on a distant, dreamlike quality. I describe it as reality seeming so ethereal that it feels like I could pass my hand through a wall. Or sometimes it feels more like I’m in a cage made of soundproof mirrored glass, and even though I’m screaming and pounding my hands on the walls, I can’t make anyone else in the world hear me or react to me.
@@flawlix this is almost exactly what it feels like for me too, thank you for sharing your experience
Oh man exactly this! I've always felt so guilty and cringe at myself from a few years back where my mental health symptoms started becoming unbearable and I didn't know what was going on. I was hearing multiple voices internally and I'd been in psychosis, plus heavy disassociation to a point where I can't remember much at all these days, c-PTSD and trauma, some of which was coming back in flashbacks to things I didn't remember as a child. So with all of that in mind after finding channels such as this one I was like, is it that? And I genuinely thought I had it for about two months while I was trying to get a diagnosis. I know I had no I'll intentions and I definitely wasn't doing it for attention because I hated every second of it and was absolutely terrified, but I'm still very embarassed of it none the less. I only realised it couldn't be that when I had my first manic episode and things started to make sense
This is so complex, isn't it? Because consistency and a motivation to prove validity seem to be listed as markers of faking. At the same time, this disorder is so often misdiagnosed and misunderstood, that it's not so surprising a system would want to come in with the correct paperwork. I think the study overall comes with good intentions and it had potential, but there needs to be way more research before we make these big claims.
Thank you for this comment, I had finally gone into my session with my therapist and opened up about our system yesterday. I had a really bad moment of self doubt and was about to start panicking when I heard that the need to prove was listed as a symptom of faking. I literally felt like I was cringing so hard, I was going to cry, haha. I don't know what's going on anymore :)
This would be harmful to those who may have autism too .... Since a special interest may be " wt 🦆 is wrong with me"😅😢
Maybe not faking, but misunderstanding. Self-diagnosis isn't really possible for certain disorders, especially dissociative disorders and thought disorders. Delusions, disordered thinking, mania, hallucinations could all resemble an alter to the person suffering. You may think that you have DID but it's really schizophrenia. It's important to have the correct diagnosis in order to have the correct treatment.
Where Jess said that "yesterday was a lie" "i dont remember it happening but i do" hit really hard. I had mental breakdowns and panic attacks everyday in past year but after a panic attack i would be fully functioning in next few hours and being happy or laughing and then having a breakdown in another hour. I literally thought i was going crazy with these moodswings. Cuz they didn't feel real and i had a glitchy memory since forever. It only happened that this year, my alters(after finally coming out to me) told me it was them, making the body functional and keeping it productive in that extremely stressful state. When I remember that time, i know i am not faking it. But it still feels like i am. Thank you Jess and co. For making these videos and bringing awareness about it!
I feel like this video is the strongest and most effective response to a topic that comes up again and again in the DID community.
Such a well put together video! I really love that there's no shaming or directed hate towards those that might be faking like saying "fakers are horrible". Instead I love that you're saying it's important to get a right diagnosis for their own gain so they can get the right treatment. This may help anyone who are faking to think twice especially as you give reason for personal gain for them to not fake and there's no hate given so they might not feel attacked and then get very defensive and "closed off". This also is such a good video to remind us to not police other systems and decide if they are or are not faking, and if we would think so to just step away and not try and "expose them" as that, if done to us actual systems could really hurt us and I think it's better for our own mental health to just step away and not give any energy or emotions towards them. Yea just a great great video.
So this is what I was thinking, except I was struggling to find the words to express my thoughts. You did it so well...I’m just going to nod thoughtfully while you speak and then say “I agree.”
I'm honestly really thankful for this because I kind of subconsciously faked DID after convincing myself that I had it to explain my mental health issues (which it turns out are still trauma, just not DID), and it means a lot to me that she's talking about it without being mean or shaming about it
Having inconsistent medical records could also be a symptom of neglect.
yes, this was our situation and it made getting diagnoses for our physical and mental disorders in adulthood a nightmare
yeah...
I love that you acknowledge that fakers need support. What healthy person would deliberately seek attention like this
it is in fact very healthy to creatively seek attention if someone is starved of attention, it's a sign of a healthy functioning brain and a person whose normal needs aren't being met properly. The behaviours might look weird, but seeking attention is only a sign that person is being neglected, not that they have something wrong with them. ***often, unless they have ASPD / FD / or similar
@@leebliss3622 if their normal needs aren’t being met properly then they aren’t healthy like you said they are being neglected or are neglecting themselves and that by nature can not be healthy
I think people with Factitious DID still need a lot of help, you have to ask yourself why someone would 'make up' DID. I don't think it necessarily means that someone with this is totally aware that they don't have it, there are people without DID who can identify with the idea of being fractured or confused. It does not mean that that person isn't traumatised, in fact I believe that if you are going to this extreme then you probably have experienced a lot of trauma in your life, and may have real legitimate problems with sense of self. I think there is a tendency to want to 'punish' someone like this, maybe because their inauthenticity is triggering for your own personal reasons, however it's important to remember that there is a reason why someone would be inauthentic. Maybe they feel a deep sense of shame, fear and unloveableness around who they are, or maybe they don't know who they are and feel the need to construct a fantasy around themselves in order to understand themselves. Anyone who has sense of self issues can be fractured, just maybe not always in the way DID is. Like she said in the video, don't shame people who you think might be doing this! It's likely that they have some deep rooted shame and trauma, be sympathetic to them, that doesn't mean you have to be around them. A lot of people have very strong feelings around inauthenticity in others and themselves, but think about how sad and painful it must be to feel that you can never under any circumstances feel that who you are is acceptable or loveable.
Well said!!
Attention. Simple
I found an amazing thing in your video that you didn't even adress that much. I heard a phrase and got thinking about it.
A person who actually pretends DID, logically, roleplays different ways of behaving.
If you do the opposite, if you always try to roleplay your single "normal", usual behaviour but your body just feels like _no,_ then you're probably not faking it.
Really good analogy!
of course, it's perfectly normal for average people to experience a "not in the mood for that right now". But if you feel it's not a matter of mood...
well put!
I don't know if I'm faking or NOT! Since it feels like both are happening at the same time! :( I'll just be chillin and someone else will tag in and go fuck around and it'll like,,,, feel like roleplaying? But also not? Like it's certainly not me controlling the body, I'm just in the backseat watching, but,,, like,,,, what if it IS me and I'm faking shit!! What if it's me pretending to be someone else even if one of ye olde brain goblins is like 'please stfu that was me'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also besides some emotional neglect/emotional abuse/spankings as a kid and some stuff from like age 11, age 15, and age 13 I don't. HAVE crazy bad trauma!!! So I gotta be faking right???
I almost convinced myself I had DiD at one point. I've always been interested in mental disorders and how the brain is so complex. In school I'd always go for brain problems specifically when given the option to research something. So when researching stuff like schizophernia I had to reasure myself I didn't have it from time to time. I believe there is a word for that. The more you look into it, the more you can identify with the symptoms.
I do not discredit the fact that I do have other types of problems (as we all do) I am just saying that with the problems I have, I see how other people may lean into diagnosing themselves with something (as I see it) so massive. Because lets be real guys, its scary and not something to glamorize. Its scary, plain and simple. I did bring it up with my therapist at one point and within that week my "symptoms" stopped because I started dealing with what was really wrong rather than covering it up.
Now, this is my expirence alone. I still went to my therapist with this and sorted it out. Because again, this isnt something to glamorize and it was scary. So of course I wanted to know whats was wrong. If you feel something is wrong, then something IS wrong. You may have an idea of what it could be, but always be open to what it actualy is. Seek help!
Hope my rambles made sense. Remember to take care of yourself with honesty.
I think this can be a symptom of OCD? Where you are paranoid about having illnesses so once you learn about them you start seeing the symptoms you fear having in yourself? I don't know too much about it, and there are absolutely other conditions where you assign yourself symptoms of conditions you believe you have. Interesting stuff, though! I'm glad you've gotten better.
@@loati94 Yes, it does sound like that!
I had a psych 101 teacher explain seeing all sorts of mental disorders within ourselves. They're in all of us, or at least we can relate to them, we just don't have the disorder, key word being disorder. It has to negatively impact your life. If it doesn't, it's just being human and most people can relate.
SO MANY people on my social media, primarily discord, fake DID. And tbh, you can know a lot of the time. A lot of these fakers will be like "you want to meet my alters?" and then goes through a list of them. Like "Hi, I'm x. Hi, I'm y. Hi, I'm z". They'll always remember everything between "alters". They're just plain edgy and already exhibiting a ton of attention-seeking. And they always use it as an excuse such as they'll harass someone on the server and then when confronted go "well, it wasn't me it was my alter! You can't ban me because technically I didn't do anything!" Or whenever someone has mood swings they'll say they have DID. Like. HUN MOOD SWINGS AREN'T DID.
Edit (Sept 2024): very old comment wow. I can’t see notifs unless I use the app, so I wanted to clarify for new comment views. I don’t condone calling people out if you suspect someone is faking. But when all of the listed factors are together, it’s definitely suspicious. Especially in a MH space where discord staff are obligated to speak to you until you are confirmed to be in a good headspace if you make a ticket. It’s a serious waste of time and resources that can be incredibly frustrating when there’s people who are having mental health crises if someone starts saying terrible things like insults, slurs sometimes, or telling other people to “stfu” “suck it up” “no one cares” (worse sometimes), then starts arguing with staff because “but it wasn’t me” every time they get muted or a warning tag. They treat it like a get out of jail free card.
@ I was also diagnosed by Dr Roger Wesby at my same diagnostic appointment with Remy... if a consultant psychiatrist isn't a real qualification, I'm not really sure what else you're looking for. A DID specialist also shouts out our channel at the beginning of this video, which suggests to me that you didn't watch the video maybe? But still, please don't state incorrect facts
@@MultiplicityAndMe idk it seems to me based on all the stuff I've been hearing lately that you and DissociaDID are manipulators looking to make money on a somewhat rare disorder that is generally hard to diagnose which gives you guys the perfect cover
I don’t know about anyone else, but I do this as a hobby. I have a full time job and have always worked to provide for myself and now my little family. It’s genuinely deeply offensive to me to be branded that money is a motivator, when it’s always been about the cause - I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years now, if I wanted to sell out in any way and milk things, I certainly would have by now. The amount I get from UA-cam as a byproduct is hardly breaking the bank - I still and always have worked hard, and this is just something I do part time because I genuinely felt there wasn’t anyone else out there like me when i received my diagnosis; no hope for anyone who would search, and if I could make one person feel less alone, then that was what I would set out to do. My motivations have and always will remain pure, and the day it turns to being all about money, is the day I should stop being an advocate.
It’s your choice to feel how you want, but please don’t assume my intentions, especially in comparison to others.
@
So, are you going to believe in “stuff you are hearing lately” than a person that have the disorder AND STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY IN UNIVERSITY???!
Yes, brilliant.
Please, next time you comment do research. You are spreading misinformation and damaging the DID community.
@
I know that, I am talking about that she major in psychology, so she know what she is talking about. You can watch her other videos to know more about it. Also, I am not talking about DissociaDID, I am only talking about Multiplicity & Me. Idk why you bring her up but the one I am defending is not her.
I totally agree with your point. Faking having DID might just be someone that only diagnosed themselves but still needs to be checked. Since Google became popular, we just tend to search our symptoms online and believe that we might have it. Consulting a specialist is really the best thing to do. Because there is really a problem but it is just not diagnosed properly. I love watching your videos since it encourages people to really learn more about DID but also mental health in general.
I really appreciated when she said, "I don't remember experiencing this."
You can be aware of what's going on in some personalities, while not realizing in the present moment with other personalities that you're even in them in the first place.
The ones you are aware of are followed by serious derealization, while the ones you aren't aware of while in them are followed by a bit of amnesia (due to being buried in the subconscious).
Having sex in a personality you're unaware of while in it is a great example.
You would get bits and pieces of the memory back eventually, but not all of it. It's like those old film reels used for movies. Imagine trying to watch that movie, but you only have 100 out of 1000 of those small squares to work with/remember.
That, and you don't get to remember the experience itself, like a normal memory. No smell, touch, or taste. You only get sight and sound.
Even then, the sight is just barely. Close your eyes as much as you can while just barely allowing yourself to see. It's like that in most of the memory, while being wider/more open in some parts.
While I don’t have DID I have been committed to psych wards and even a state mental health hospital for 6 months and I have not met one person during my last 15 years of random stays with DID or at least who told me so or seemed to have it.
In the last year I’ve met 7 one was even a co worker all the alters seem cutesy and convenient with all of the.
I get this DID exist but it’s at the point where a disturbing amount of people seem to want it and on top of that I notice they’re all early to mid 20s.
Wanting to have mental illness is not going to help you in life and it won’t make you likeable, real mental illness doesn’t come with friends or clout or a “thing.” … They’re hurdles that you have to jump through just to be able to be on equal playing field with “normal people.”
If you want to fake a mental disorder you probably have some issues you need to work on and that’s ok … but playing games with mental health professionals and online makes it harder for people who just want to live a normal boring life.
Thank you for making this video. You've found the right balance to explain factitious DID without expressing hatred. This made me and alters in my system reflect because we have been doubting a lot about our experiences and whether we're faking it (not diagnosed!). Then, we realised that we don't have "hidden motives" with our experiences. We don't do it for financial gain because the money to us has never been faking... it's gotta be earned through hard work. We don't do it for finding community because we're just not that type of system... or people to seek validation? We are our own community, protectors and persecutors and all.
Your video just solidified our experiences and helped us reflect. So thank you.
It's disgusting that some people would fake this. I really appreciate that you're educating people on this very misunderstood topic.
I'm glad you were sure to say that, unless you're a professional, you should not be trying to accuse someone of "faking". cause really, unless you are a professional you wouldn't know enough to even be able to make that call. on another note, I'd love to see something similar to this about OSDD (mostly 1a/b, but I'm sure you could talk about the others as well). as that seems to be much less talked about than DID, and as you noted in the video, has a different checklist/symptoms/etc.
In the chronic illness community, DID in particular, the chances of an accusation-flinger also being a faker are very nearly 100%.
These folks pursue their shared fantasies in slightly different ways, so usually the person being accused is just practicing a slightly different "denomination" of performance or behaving "hypocritically," which is making the accuser feel self conscious, embarrassed, or fearful of exposure. (Like how evangelicals get when an extremist churchmate acts out.) So if the accused can force their sinner back into line, that keeps the narrative moving in a way the accuser prefers. Or if they can get this alternative expression of the shared fantasy declared heretical, that means observers are less likely to expose them for being out of step with expectations. Maybe they think it makes them seem more legitimate as well.
Illness fakers fascinate me. Why they do it, what they get out of it, sure, yes, but also how they maintain ideological purity in groups full of other fakers with slightly different ways of acting out the fantasy. They just seem to bristle with anger over other fakers. I wonder if they actually believe their accusations, or if they're just desperately hoping to distract everyone from the truth of their own behavior.
Point being.. he who smelt it, usually dealt it.
Got my official diagnosis about a week ago. I kept being told by my family I was faking it, but even my creative writing professors were super confused. I'd write two or three pages in one writing style and skill level, then the next wouldn't make any sense at all when you looked in correlation as the style and skill level changed dramatically. After watching your video and realizing how many points you hit I decided to go and get the official diagnosis, which makes me feel relieved because now I understand what was happening to me.
Thank you so much!
How long did you see a psychiatrist before they "diagnosed you"? A general time frame? 2 sessions? 4? 10? 30?
One of my final papers was focusing on DID, and you were a major part of the paper, so thanks for being so open about DID always!
I would *love* to read your paper! Would you care to share? 😄 MultiplicityAndMe@gmail.com. Thank you so much for the inclusion 🙏
This was not only important, it was sensitive! Can we work on subtitles to spanish for this video 💕?
Oh that would be amazing! 😄 so long as you’re sure! Thank you so much 💖
@@MultiplicityAndMe Working on them right now!
I have it Diagnosed recently after having an outrageous treatment of EMDR, which I don't recommend; My Life's been SO challenging, but in some way rewarding that because of that horrific Therapy/ I now have a better Counselor & very amazing, & starting to see & feel a glimmer of Hope which I couldn't envision before/ Love, My Team (Co- Conscience self Jess',) & 10 more of all of me; My situation is very real, & working through integration currently... + my Amnesias are hard, but my main support is my husband & my Choir Friends GRATEFUL FOR ANSWERS OF AN ABUSIVE PAST including 2 Rapes & also a Bike Crash WORKING ON COMMUNICATION--- Suggest Professional help
I WAITED TOO LONG FOR IT
Honesty in everything now!!!
DID is something that's always interested me although I don't know all that much about it. This was a good video thank you I've subscribed.
Welcome aboard 😊💖 lovely to have you as a subscriber
I really enjoy the authenticity you display. I've been trying to learn about DID as I've felt misunderstood in my own journey seeking help for childhood trauma and ongoing depression and anxiety, and feeling misunderstood in that area has grown my passion for mental health awareness overall.
Some channels seem to display DID as mysterious with strange lighting and very private (some of which I can understand) though seeing your content and your what you see is what you get just puts me at ease. It's like there's no image or thing you're trying to sell, you're just speaking of your experience, which is nice.
I love what you said in the beginning. You cannot know. I have Tourette’s syndrome. People accuse me of being a fake ALL. THE. TIME. I suffer from my disorder every single day and have a lot of trauma from full grown adults accusing me of being a liar and a fake my whole childhood. It still happens occasionally now and definitely happens on the internet. People love to feel like they are “discovering the truth” but please please do not accuse people because you really actually cannot know.
On a big server on discord we had someone saying they had DID, and after harassing many users and triggering some others, they ended admitting they didn't really had DID. It's such a shame people fake for attention or other reasons, it puts such a heavy mark in believing and trusting those who really have it :( Thank you for always informing us, Jess! And thanks to the entire system too💖
A similar thing is the reason I'm on this video, someone I used to call a friend on discord and after they upset many people (Even almost made on kill themselves) and afterwards decided to tell everyone in a massive server that they had DiD (Not even very good explanation) and even today told me that when I was upset, I was "upset at their child alter" and when I asked about it they ignored all of my questions and refused to tell me anything which made me doubt that they were diagnosed and just wanted to have it to get away from their problems.
I called someone out of it and they got mad at me 😭 I knew the person was lying
My mom is a psychiatrist and I asked her if a patient has ever faked a disorder, her answer was no, but it is very common that people exaggerate (idk if you spell it like that) their symptoms AKA say that their symptoms are worse than they actually are
How would she know they are exaggerating if it is not her experience? Very judgemental and stigmatizing
@@moonbabyhealing because she's a psychiatrist?? It's literally her job to be able to tell these things
@@moonbabyhealing it’s easy to realise if you run tests and then you ask questions and they pick the worst possible symptoms as an example: “how does bla bla bla make you feel?” Answers: great, good, idk, bad, really bad. And then they pick really bad at every question. But I don’t know since I’m not a psychiatrist also just like the other person said - it’s literally her job she has had multiple patients before so she would know to compare symptoms and realise if there is something off, yadda, yadda, yadda. It’s also very common that people try to fit in boxes barley like if you look in the DSM 5 for… let’s say adhd - one of the DSM 5 is you can’t pay attention and some people would look at this and be like “hmm well sometimes I have trouble paying attention I must have adhd!” And end up thinking they have adhd when in reality that little trouble that person has paying attention that rarely happens is totally normal. So yh. My mother literally talks to these people for a living she would know if some of their stories don’t add up.
Your mom is not smart.
@@moonbabyhealingYou make no sense
Thank you for this video!
I've been suspecting having osdd or did for a while now, though since I am not sure and know that a lot of people with BPD (which is what I am diagnosed with) tend to have difficulty in their identity. So I feel like your video was super helpful and reassuring since I decided to not specifically tell my psychiatrist about me suspecting this and that bit rather tell him what exactly I am experiencing without trying to fit into boxes even though that makes me feel like I don't deserve help since nothing is wrong because I don't feel like I fit k to a box properly so I must be imagining or overreacting. But your video reassured me that it is ok to just say what you really experience, no matter if it ticks a box or not.
It's also important to know and realize: not everyone fullfills the symptom list perfectly. Not every illness goes after the books. You may suffer from something but be a bit asymptomatic. Keep that in mind. I wish you strength and that you'll find yourself, being able to live comfortably.
I see a lot of fake DID cases in TikToks of young teenage girls that make their rounds across the internet. Usually they display their "alters" at will and give them an acted segment on a TikTok, giving them unique outfits or something. They also tend to use Minecraft UA-cam personalities as alters. It's truly sad to see, they're clearly not getting the attention they need at home and some of their formative years have been stolen by a pandemic and replaced with an internet culture that romanticizes and trivializes mental illness, making it seem a fun and trendy personality trait rather than a serious medical classification used for determining what treatment is necessary. I'm hoping with time they'll grow out of it, they aren't mature enough to understand what they're doing.
I love how you described what most people refer to as a "disorder".
What did the video JUST SAY about shaming people?
If someone is engaging in attention seeking behavior, it's because they need attention because they're not getting their daily allotted amount
Like, sure, it's better to find a healthier way to get that attention than starting drama in a comment section, but you do you
I want you to know, we see you
You're opinions are valid, even if they're wrong
YOU are valid
Take all the attention you need
@@fenixmeaney6170 How am I starting drama? Or shaming people?
@@hypotheticaltapeworm well, you're kinda trivializing their experiences as well, wouldn't you say?
"All these people are faking it for an internet trend" you sound like an old curmudgeon yelling at hooligans to get off your lawn
Not sure if you meant it that way, but that's how we took it
I meant what I said about attention, and all those TikTok young girls need to get it from somewhere
Also, sorry
We've been disbelieved before
We don't like seeing other people automatically assuming someone's faking it for that reason
As for drama, the video you posted this comment about seeing people fake a disorder on the internet was about NOT assuming that people you see on the internet are faking a disorder
Like, c'mon dude
That's like posting a bacon egg and cheese recipe on a vegan blog
It's gonna stir SOMETHING up
@@hypotheticaltapeworm I don't think you were necessarily shaming people, but definitely grouping every single person like that on TikTok into the same category and being accusatory how they're faking was a bit uncalled for. They could have it and are just poking fun at themselves, they could have it while also dramatizing it because they want/need the extra attention, or none of the above could be true! You really never know, so I would avoid fakeclaiming, ESPECIALLY when you're grouping different people into the same box.
No hate, as always, but fakeclaiming even indirectly can do more harm than good, especially if someone has it and falls into whatever category someone else has made.
I've never found anyone else willing to speak to those who might be faking in a kind way, not just judging and giving them a space.
Thank you for sharing both the facts and the emphasis on compassion, understanding, and NOT being an armchair psychologist. We all need this reminder.
You've been a ray of light for us in all this, one of the people in my head (not fully diagnosed yet, not sure if I can call him an alter) is a particular fan of your channel and how you're opening the doors to help other people express themselves
Appreciate the love. I am working hard not to assume any diagnosis, because if I'm wrong, I have to unlearn what I assumed before I can accept a new answer, and the coping mechanisms for DID might be very different than for something else. But it has a really negative affect on the other people in my mind when I start to wonder if I'm faking it, for whatever reason. Four new people showed up in the past two months and it's my job to look after them. Part of that is seeking a diagnosis. Then we can face the stigma and doubt. I never wanted alters, I never wanted to be personally involved in this community as anything but an ally. Although my trauma was 'not that bad' this video makes me feel a little less afraid of being told I've made it all up.
My biggest issue with psychology-based videos is how subjective the presenters have been. Why has it taken me so long to come across your videos! There is objectivity, thorough research that is directly applicable to the subject of discussion and the typical therapists demeanour: understanding, soft language and word choice and clarity, above all else. Thank you! xx
it must've been tricky to find the perfect balance with this video, but you did. this is such a great video! proud of you! 💖
Dr Mike did my Autism diagnosis, he had some foster cats at the time so I was very very happy, he’s awesome 😁
I had an eval for ASD too--have worked with cats--love them!
Asd + cats and dogs and generally fluffy cuddly things = a really happy place
His cats are awesome. When I go to therapy (before all this covid stuff that is) I would always giggle if one of the cats went running past one of the glass door panels 😂. At the moment we're using Skype to continue our treatment and the cats will cut across the desk all the time 😂.
I have an autism diagnosis. I really should have been diagnosed as a child but yea, the people who deal with learning difficulties failed me.
Dr Mike’s the man
Honestly, I think some online communities play a very large part in this. It makes me wonder, is there any such thing as being ‘too accepting’? Like, when I was suspicious I had it, I joined these osdd/did communities where they told me everything I was experiencing was a symptom, even the most non-sensical things. This can lead a confused teen to be confident in their supposed disorder, and later when they realise they’re wrong it comes with much shame and guilt, especially if they shared it publicly due to the constant validation they received. (This isn’t talking about all osdd/did communities, obviously, but there are many like this.)
I now know the symptoms I did have were actually due to something else, and I’ve learned a lesson to not go with my first assumption as many disorder symptoms overlap. Like, a lot.
I think, when seeing someone very potentially malingering, we shouldn’t treat them with disgust, but understanding, and try to help them understand themselves as they could be going through rough times and need to be aware of what they’re doing to improve.
the online communities can def be "too accepting", but it depends. I'm in some ADHD spaces and they do tend to make the most miniscule details of their life a "symptom". I just shrug it off. Not everything in an even diagnosed person's life has to be about that dx
well to be fair alot of system things have alot of non-system related explainations too;
Your point of “too accepting” really hits hard. I used to be apart of an online community who was very, very supportive of mental disorders and health. It sounds good, but say anything bad about depression or OCD and next thing you know they start going after you. I feel like there is something bad about being “too accepting” because it leaves no room for self reflection and growth. It makes something that isn’t good, okay.
The vast majority of these can't even be witnessed outside a theraputic context. Yeah, you really can't tell if someone online is faking unless they admit it.
thank you for mentioning that you did meet people who seemed to be roleplaying. a lot of the times when people talk about "you can't tell if someone's faking" they make it sound like you are an evil person for even having second thoughts or even wondering if that someone's roleplaying. it is just ridiculous. it's totally okay to have a weird feeling with a presentation, just don't harass that person. quit contact, that's it. can't count how many people I blocked on social media because they seemed off to me, I'm not going to risk raising self-doubt or so.
so thanks again! a great video!
“Yesterday was a lie! My whole life is a lie!” How did you explain my feelings exactly? Lolllll
You're not the only one. We've been dealing with this realization and it's HARD. Like... is ANYTHING we remember real?
Rach I totally get you lol. Our little sister has short term memory problems and sometimes mid conversation she’s like WAIT WHAT IM SO SORRY I CANT REMEMBER
The Infinity System Exactly! I think our system would completely go crazy if we didn’t have our memory holder Oliver. We have a memory room akin to Inside Out’s long term memory area and Oliver handles it for us lol. If we didn’t have him, I think we’d totally spiral lol
I don't have DID but I've been watching you guys for a long time now and it's part of the reason I'm going to study psychology. Forensic psychology specifically but still.
Good luck! So excited for you!
That is great news. Good luck in your career, you may well get to contribute to knowledge in DID!
Thank you!!
And to as Jess and the boys thank you for inspiring me and educating me. You are all amazing.
I went through a phase of having alters. I didn't call it DID, I didn't tell anyone about it. But I was so desperately lonely during that time of my life. So I made up a few people who I could talk to and have fun with. I half-convinced myself I did have DID.
It's been a few years since then and I definitely don't have DID, haha. I probably do have BPD or something similar though. It's pretty embarrassing to think of that time in my life. But I really appreciate how kind you were in this video.
I saw someone say 'if you didn't deliberately set out to fake you probably aren't faking'. Well... I don't think it's as simple as that. I certainly didn't do this for any gain other than to feel a little less alone. Nobody even really knew about this. But at the end of the day I did come to the realisation that I had made this all up. And that's okay.
I went through a similar thing. but i was fully convinced i had DID. i thought these voices in my head where alters, but it was just me. i was so lonely and so isolated i resorted to the “voices” i also think i have Bpd or a derealization/depersonalization disorder. But i also didn’t deliberately set my intention to fake it, i genuinely thought i had it, and i thought so for like 3 years.
much respect to you for not going out and sharing it with everyone, that shows good sense even in the midst of loneliness and suffering
Yes, people who fake a disorder usually have a cluster B personality disorder instead, mainly BPD.
Yes, people who fake a disorder usually have a cluster B personality disorder instead, mainly BPD.
Thank you for always being open and honest. Sharing your thoughts and knowledge with all of us and being careful not to hurt anyone at the same time. Sending giant hugs and love to you and the whole system!!!
I don't want to have DID anymore! Can I fake not having it? I am so tired of being misunderstood, socially awkward, and all the endless times I have come home and asked 'why?'...and then here an answer I wish I don't have to hear. I mean who would want to fake this diagnosis? Who would want any part of this? This is human suffering!
see thats what im sayin, but this vid is making me think i'm faking my symptoms subconsciously so i dont KNOW
@@prism_of_selves just use grounding skills and understand that life is complicated, very..very complicated! I can't understand everything my brain does and I don't even know what I was thinking when whoever wrote that statement/reply from above? Does it really matter? DID is a side effect of abuse and I am trying not to be a victim anymore of it...on the other hand, who am I often comes up in my haste to make sense of all of this? Confusion leads to more confusion...once more, the best thing to do is to just say your normal to yourself and let the world deal with the dark side of the moon!
I’m seeing a therapist for the first time on Monday. Nervous as hell and I don’t know how to start, but I want to thank the courage of your system for coming to the forefront
As a mental health support worker I just want to say thank you so much for posting this video, I found it more informative and helpful than any of my formal training.
Keep up your work, you and your system are helping a lot of people. I’m a DID husband and supporter and wanting to do more from that side on helping to support people.
And given the current climate, your doing awesome. Stay strong
Every time Jess starts a video I automatically remember the video Jake acted as her so I start thinking: is that Jess or Jake? 🤔 Lol I love you all ❤️
Yes! I always think Jake or someone else is gonna start speaking after a while to tell us it's been them this whole time 😂
That’s funny that you say that, because when she first started talking I could’ve sworn I saw a little bit of Jake in her eyes hehe
I THOUGHT THE SAME THING
The whole time I felt like jake was around because of certain ways she would phrase things.
Same!
This is such an informative and we'll presented video. My advice is that if someone close to you tells you they believe they have DID, is to advise them to get help. Actual or factitious, that person would benefit from therapy. Don't share you concerns about it being fake. But let them know that out of concern for their own well-being, you would like them to see a knowledgeable therapist.
Jess: "Just be you"
Me: *????* "Who?? Never met her"
But yeah thank you so much for this video
I'm a psychology student and DID was the first thing that interested me enough to get me interested in the psychology field. I find videos like this extremely interested and potentially beneficial in my future. Thank you very much 🙂
Thank you. This was so compassionate and professional, i am really impressed, especially since there is so much malicious and biased content about people online faking their conditions.
Thank you so much for being a great advocate for the DID community! I found these resources after a friend of about 5 years came out to me with her diagnosis and trauma, and I really appreciate all of your work. You are amazing ❤️
I have seen a lot of videos like this within the DID community since a certain YT personality facilitated a significant amount of harm to the community. These kind of videos are really wonderful and informative, but I am truly sorry that these kind of videos are necessary at this time. People with DID do not deserve the negative stigma, nor to be harmed in such a manner. Much love to all the systems out there.
I imagine faking a disorder like this will cause more issues than anything. These people have no clue how chaotic it is to watch this disorder.
I’m a bit shocked to hear that people with legit DID don’t usually seek help. I wonder if it’s because of the constant thinking that they are faking it. So they don’t want to take up the time for people who are
Partly that. Also it's a common thing for people with DID for them to not know
It's because they're unaware of it.
i don't want to seek a DX because of 3 reasons;
i constantly worrying if i am faking; and am worried they wont listen to me and insist im faking shit;
and or worse claim all my headmates aren't real; when they clearly are;
i am worried about discrimination and stigma that comes with a DID or OSDD diagnosis, i have heard about people being denied HRT, generally just denied autonomy in general if they have a DX. and that just isn't fucking worth knowing 'for sure' that i have it.
i have trauma relating to psychologists and medical institutions.
i also question the legitimacy of this checklist a lil bit;-
it is really not cool when a few of these things in here apply to you;
I feel like most of the people with facticious DID actually have BPD. As someone diagnosed and in constant treatment for BPD, symptoms include identity issues and dissociative episodes. bpd is very common while DID is rare, so it's likely that's what everyone is struggling with.
And even then I've met people who fake BPD very obviously and have no idea how extreme the symptoms present themselves
Also, people with BPD crave connection, love and attention (not in a bad way), it makes sense that some of them fake DID to get the attention and sympathy they need.
YES, thank you for uploading! Especially after the whole Trisha Paytas, DissociaDID & Team Pinata drama.
@@Margitkam-h3s I haven't unfollowed any, but I only follow 4 DID channels who I personally believe are genuine and real.
I'm seriously sad about what happened.. I hope people are doing okay.. Regardless of what they did.
And then there are movies like split as well that people believe
@@dylanwalker8474 I haven't seen that movie so I can't comment on that.
This video was really wonderful and helpful, but also so great because of how non-judgemental and informative it was. I have found that the minute you start watching videos about DID from people who don't have DID (and I guess don't filter their comments the same as dedicated DID channels), the comment sections are filled with people accusing all the popular DID youtubers of faking their condition, and looking for ways to definitively argue this. These are clearly just the comments of trolls with nothing better to do than accuse people of faking their conditions, but at the end of the day what really is the harm in faking DID? Of course for other people with DID it can be bad to see platforms given to those without the condition to speak about their experiences with it, but I think it is more harmful for people with DID to be constantly saturated with comments accusing them of faking their DID, and for those who have factitious DID to feel like they aren't worthy of getting the help they need. This video really helped to show that factitious DID-havers are people too, worthy of getting the help they need, and are not generally malicious people.
I have been subbed to you guys since around 20k. I've not only seen Ollie grow up, a new baby come and grow, but so much growth in all of you. I just wanted each of you separately to know how proud I am of you. I know you have all had different struggles on and off through the years, I also know new struggles will come and go. I just feel like you all have a strong support system down now to handle whatever comes your way. I know this channel was challenging at first but I hope it now brings you some gratification that you all deserve and some friendships you never expected. I consider you all my friends, that cute and supportive husband as well. All the love in the world -A
This is so beautiful thank you for being there for us and sticking around! 😭💖🙏
@@MultiplicityAndMe always❤ thanks for giving me something to stick too😚
You are the most honest and the kindest system ever. It doesn’t matter which alter is speaking. The information you give and the way you present it shows how amazing your hearts are. Thank you all. You are the kind of people I want in my life. Honest, Kind, Compassionate, and full of Love.
From New Zealand here! Thank god for Jess! So refreshing to see someone real, I have had MPD for 41 years about time someone was real about this now called DID, sick of people using this for fame!!!
I'm curious to know if you've read much of the research coming out of Harvard in recent years with regards to DID/OSDD? I've found many of the articles and research done by Bethany L. Brand and her colleagues to be very interesting, especially those related to the validity of the various instruments out there intended to measure difference in dissociation between the disorders and which ones are able to differentiate simulated DID and genuine DID. If you haven't read much of her work, I highly recommend it. Thanks for this video! Very well done.
Send them over if you have any links 😄 would be great to look into them
@@MultiplicityAndMe Would also like to look at this research! Would it be accessible on college level access to medical case studies and research? Might be able to find it there very easily myself as well.
@@MultiplicityAndMe are you able to let me know the title and everything. I'd love to read it!
How do you find those?
Me the host: I’m faking this
All my alters: damn guess we aren’t real!
honestly that's us aswell
like I'm constantly saying "oh yeah no I'm just faking this bcus I hate myself and wanna be someone else"
and the alters are just like: 😶👁️👁️
i used to think this for a while after i figured it out, especially because we live in an unsafe household so i can't get an official diagnosis yet and we're wary of telling our therapist about it. our protectors have been reassuring us that our experiences as a system are real and valid since then, but i can still relate a lot to this ljdkjsdhsjka
@Nailea Olivas what you both mean is you’re self diagnosing lol shut up
@@tomsafail we're positive that we have it. we figured it out by accident and we barely knew anything about the disorder at the time so despite our doubts, our protectors and older alters told us that we couldn't be faking it if we didn't know anything about it. i've asked other systems about it and done a lot of research on the disorder so i know that i am part of a system of alters. i live in an abusive household so it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to get a diagnosis. unless you are a DID/OSDD specialist or a part of a system yourself, please don't act like you know what it's like to have the disorder or the traumas that come with it, and please don't act like my current household condidtions are something to be laughed at. thanks.
@Nailea Olivas i'm sorry to hear that :( i hope u know that ur not alone in the struggle n even tho our experiences might not be the same i'm here for u
Thank you for captioning this video. I am hard if hearing and I really appreciate it. I am sure many other people do as well.
Thank you for all the kindness in this video! I was really happy how you mentioned that people online are likely going to be acting very different outside of the internet and that you should definitely not be judging someone from the one side they're showing. Also, I'm really happy that you gave validation to everyone because whether you are faking or not, you need help and should get the help you need.
This also settled down my own doubts about my system seeing as I really have no motivations besides figuring out what's all happening with my head and why (I also really wanna help others through psychology but I gotta help myself before I can help others) and also watching your videos makes me feel valid even though I don't fit every box (I have pretty good communication with most of my alters, so that can make me freak out thinking that I've made them up because I'm not as separated from them as others who have systems, but systems are all different and my system just has really good communication)
Thank you for helping so many people with your videos! You're all a wonderful system
I don't want to sound all mushy but I just want to thank this channel. I have D.I.D and this channel and DissociaDID have helped us so much. It makes me so happy to see both channels' videos. They make me want to cry with happiness.
-Patricia, 17 years old (Host)
I believe I have DID... but I doubt myself very very often if I'm faking it... and I feel nauseous because of it, but at the same time it feels like I really do have it... but I just dont know... I feel like I have too much knowledge or communication with the alters I have for it to be real... I just dont know... I really want to get help.
I think there are many people who are suffering from pseudo DID.....keyword, suffering. They are suffering in someway. But right now, it’s so common on TikTok...and it’s really doing harm. Before 2018, I saw one client with DID. Now, we see 4-5 clients with DID every month, all self reported and self diagnosed, all between the ages of 14 and 25. And I don’t know why...I came here to try to figure out. Many of these clients, after working with them, tend not to have DID but just PTSD and a cluster B disorder. Granted, we have seen people with legimate DID. But they tended to be OLDER, than the flock of clients we see it with. Thank you for posting this, I know some systems don’t want to discuss this on their channel
.. just because they figured out they might have this thing beforehand doesn't actually mean they don't have it
What do you think the average age is of someone discovering their DID? I’m genuinely curious
@@stephaniebach__12-24 discovered I was a DID (it might be OSDD tbf) system at 23
Yes, most of them are actually people with BPD, which makes sense.
Yes, most of them are actually people with BPD, which makes sense.
I really appreciate this information! I personally am worried that I do have OSDD but since I've only noticed a lot of things after finding DID on UA-cam. I'm so scared that I'm faking. On the other hand if any alters feel safe to finally talk to me after I've accepted others with DID I hate to think of the things I've thought and said about the alter who has reached out. I currently can't seek any professional help and can just self reflect and hope I'm doing the right thing.
Advice is welcome
The important thing is that you work with your symptoms 😊 you don’t have to fit into a diagnosis, but seeing a professional who can point you in the right direction may help
Audrey Gilmore Hi! I may also have OSDD. I’m not sure I do. I never liked self diagnosing myself on anything. I also can’t get professional help at the moment but I talked to a friend who is majoring in psychology and they have OSDD. Which was convenient for me. They actually recommend me this channel. But what this friend told me is whether this was a thing my brain was making up or an actual disorder, don’t worry about a diagnosis now, just understand and manage my symptoms, and just talk to the people in my head, they’re all there to help me, and seek professional help as soon as I could.
This happened with us we suddenly started noticing symptoms after seeing it on youtube. We thought we were faking but realised that those symptoms had just been our life and we never knew they were symptoms or had a name for them. It was only after youtube that we recognised these life things as symptoms. We were not looking for DID Symptoms in our past before we knew it exsisted via youtube we had no reason to not knowing it was a real thing. Stay strong! It is so understandable to have these worries.
So I have alters (I've been diagnosed with PTSD so far but hadn't talked about them while I had a therapist because I was scared I had schizophrenia at the time and then that therapist moved and I have to find a new one I trust)
So I have alters, as far as I can tell and my sister and boyfriend can tell, and my boyfriend also discovered his alters around the time I discovered mine. I started to piece together things around age 15, although at that time it wasn't the amnesia or the voices, it was the memories I had pieced together. I had lots of signs of trauma when I was little, along with lots of things I don't remember, and along with lots of flashbacks (body memories rather than visuals) and panic attacks that didn't make sense to me. I got diagnosed with PTSD, and that's when my alters started to try and communicate with me. It took me a year to actually figure out DID was a thing and that it was more likely than me being schizophrenic since I was 15. I had started getting into states where it was less amnesia and more of a fuzzy state where I felt like I wasn't quite in perfect control, but I had some control (now I realize that's what co-conscious can be like, not every time but the times when I get freaked out because I don't get what's happening and start to dissociate)
So one day I was working with my boyfriend at a firework stand (back then we hadn't started dating yet but we were friends) and I was wearing my favorite pair of guy shorts. And then one of my alters came out because he likes those shorts. His name is Sam, and he apparently wasn't in the mood to pretend to be me because he's a guy and I'm a girl and he really just wanted to feel comfortable being himself in his guy shorts, so since it was just him and my now boyfriend there, someone I trusted, he introduced himself as Sam. I was still conscious, but I felt super fuzzy and had practically no control and I was freaking out until he just fully came out. So I remember the start, but not most of the conversation they had until I was back out.
A few days after he met Sam, he said he had to tell me something. He had someone living in his head. He didn't know what it was or why, but I believed him. Later on I found out his name was Leo and my sister had found out that all this was DID and through her we discovered Leo was a persecutor, which was why my boyfriend didn't want to talk much about him or was scared to talk about him because he thought he was crazy or going to get hurt.
Eventually I also found out that Leo had met me, but had pretended to be him. A long time after this happened, I got to talk to Leo, who is now a protector and also one of the alters of his that I am closest to.
When my alters became more accustomed to my boyfriend, he'd meet them and they'd talk a bit to him to see if they trusted him or not. My friends really liked him for a while, but then they started to hate on him when a trauma happened in my life and my system became a mess. He would comfort me and they thought he was babying me, and because he still had his own traumas coming up from family issues, his system was a bit of a mess too.
So that's when my friends decided he was copying me. He learned about this alter thing from meeting one of mine, and then he only revealed more about his system the more we learned about mine.
He wasn't copying me, they were just being mean because I wasn't in the mood to spend time with them when I was stressed and they were invalidating my emotions and making pregnancy jokes because I got a boyfriend. I wanted to spend time with him because he was helping me, so they attacked him.
In retrospect, I can see how they were suspicious of him because the timing, but there was lots of little things that I can see a lot better now than back then that give away his alters. I can't say what exactly it is, but I can feel something off when it isn't him.
I've also talked to Leo about why the timing was that way, and I was told that it was because the existence of my system meant a lot to my boyfriend. It meant that he wasn't crazy, and he wasn't the only one. Seeing another person with similar problems made it easier to accept that he had these issues, and it also was a sign that now might be a good time for healing. He had a support, so Leo trusted that he would be able to reveal the whole system to Logan in steps, taking the lead on my system. Really, alters can be lost when it comes to breaking the news or even trying to comfort everyone. They aren't these perfect things that know exactly how to fix every bad thing, they are people. They usually are just as lost as we are when it comes to knowing if it's the right time for us to know, so when you discover something that you relate to, or discover a community filled with people who will support you, your system will usually take that opportunity to help you. Seeing it in others before seeing it in yourself does not mean that you're exaggerating or faking it at all, it just means that this discovery was the time to find out. This discovery was your safe place of knowing that there is a reason for you to be hurt, there's a way to heal, and that you are not alone.
Tldr; Just because you discovered it in UA-cam before seeing it in yourself, it doesn't mean that you are faking it from the discovery in any way. More than likely, your system saw this discovery as an opportunity to help you with the first step in healing by introducing themself to you. After discovery, you've found a community that can support you and that you can learn from. It's the perfect opportunity for an alter to introduce themselves, so don't think that it means you're making it up. You most likely are not and it's just your brain trying to protect you from knowing that there was any trauma at all (even if you already know there was, your brain will still go "nope")
@@kamamaunillama31alters are alternate states of personality and schizospectrum disorders cause people inside your head, I thought I had did until I got diagnosed with delusions
This is so interesting. I really can't imagine wanting to fake DID. If I could fake anything it would be being what is called "Normal". Thinking about that I realized I did fake "normal" from early childhood to my now 64 and breaking down at work. So many of us don't get diagnosed until later in life. But they gave me a whole bunch of other diagnosis all my life. I have an amazing ability to sound completely functional, highly intelligent and until now an excellent RN. So I guess it goes both ways. I love the way you speak. Clear, to the point, understandable to anyone. Just found you so I feel lucky. All you good guys are across that darn pond. If only we had you too.....pie in the sky dream.
This is so awesome! I love this, it's so validating because, typically, whenever we tell people, they all think we're too "young" (body is 16) to know... even though we are diagnosed... and some people say that they havent met some of the other peeps, yet they have but we just cover well for safety:/
Soo I have been lurking around the UA-cam DID community ever since DissociaDID did their colab with Jessica Kellgren-Fozard. I had been told by someone on a web forum the previous year that they were concerned I might have DID but I blew them off. But watching more and more stuff I started to wander. Then I started having conversation with people in my head. But none of it really seemed to fit DID I don’t have any amnesia or PTSD symptoms. So I’ve kept it to myself for ages. When I’m talking to the other people in my head I feel like they’re totally real but other times I feel like it can’t be, like it’s just my imagination. I have recently found out more about OSDD and it seems to fit a little better but I still can bring myself to really believe it. This is the first time I’ve put any of this out publicly even though I’ve been thinking about this for over a year. I have a referral to see a councillor on the nhs for other reasons but obviously everything’s ground to a holt atm, but even then I don’t know if I’ll be able to bring myself to tell them or even how I’d start. I don’t really know why I’m writing this video just stirred up a bunch of feelings and I actually wanted to tell someone this time. I dunno I might end up deleting this...
I think it's wonderful that you're finding a counselor to figure it all out
Just be you and they'll help you find what you need
Also, I really had no idea I had trauma at all until I turned 15, it's always possible and your brain will do everything it can to hide it. I do get amnesia, but usually it's not something I notice unless someone tells me that it's not the day I think it is (I may miss a week and just excuse it to not paying attention, but also when I think that a parade a week ago was the day before, it's clear that there's something missing)
And then it's also possible that you don't have amnesia at all or don't have trauma and your brain just did its thing for what you needed
I hope you figure things out because however it goes, you're valid : )
It’s great that you’re going to get counselling, hopefully it will clear up any confusion that you may have as well as help you with any potential problems that you’re having. One thing is that you mentioned that you don’t have PTSD symptoms, don’t feel as though this invalidates having DID, because a majority of the time the host (which you most likely are if you have DID) doesn’t show symptoms of trauma because they don’t have those memories of the trauma. Many DID systems don’t realise that trauma has occurred until they get their diagnosis, in fact having no memory of the trauma is part of DID unless you’re an emotional part.
That being said it is possible that you have something different instead of DID, that’s completely fine as well. The important thing is to remain calm if you receive a diagnosis, even if it’s a diagnosis for a “scary” disorder such as schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder. Many of these “scary” diagnoses are NOT as scary as they may first appear and many people with them are able to live completely normal and happy lives. I’m sure that you’re aware of the stigma around DID and how that doesn’t line up with the reality of DID at all, it’s very similar with other mental health problems so just do your research and speak with others with the same diagnosis and that should help.
Best of luck with your mental health journey and I hope everything works out for you!
It’s very good and brave of you to share this Elion💜 lots of people feel just the same, and there’s no way to really know until you do get in with a mental health professional who can help sort it out. If you’re not losing any time, it’s unlikely it’s DID, but it’s definitely worth bringing up with your counsellor, even if you’re not sure where to begin. It’s their job to listen and help you sort it out.
Elion I relate to this experience whole-heartedly
I've been talking to people in my head my whole life. I just put it down to invisible friends and not having RL friends, being an only child living in the middle of nowhere.
They could be invisible friends, they could be Tulpas, they could be alters. No idea even with all the research I've done.
I could easily just be not understanding and accidentally faking whatever I think I have with them.
No idea who to read and go to for this, if I can find anyone.
Watching a few videos to try and see if I'm faking it. Sometimes I feel ok with and accept the possibility of DID or OSDD. Other times, I flat out reject it, and am convinced I'm faking it. Currently leaning towards the ladder of the two, hence why I'm here. I just don't know.
I know this is 4 months old but I just wanted to tell you all how valued you are in my heart! I think I’d be feeling super nearly completely lost and may have given up due to the chaos and sadness and such inside and my therapist needing to leave due to the pandemic, and trying to find someone else to “trust?!?!?!” And begin again after 2 yrs of finally trusting and finding a great and intelligent caring person for a therapist after terribly extra trauma causing “professionals” try to control my situation at their convenience etc, and other extremely scary behaviour.(it’s a well known fact that where I live, this is an actual risk to all needing mental health care in my community)🙁
Anyhow, thank you again!
I very much see this content more clearly and positively understand it now compared to last time I saw this great video. 💜 super job !⭐️Jess(et.al)💜
I think another popular you tuber is faking it. It's like painful to watch her videos. You are genuine and I appreciate you
Please don’t stop making these videos it’s really important that someone like you has a channel . You’re the most balanced and informative of all DID you tubers that I’ve known and it’s amazing that you’re here . Many channels pertaining to dissociative disorder have been problematic in many ways whether they meant well or not . As you said everyone who believes they’re being affected by dissociative identity disorder shouldn’t be told right away they don’t have it by random people they need facts and ways to find out if they’re issue is in fact this specific disorder . ..there are many ways to find out about it and I love that instead of gate keeping you give facts and encourage us to look further .
Hey so I don’t have did but I struggle with my mental health in other ways and I’ve always been really interested in these sorts of videos as a result. Thank you so much for creating such honest and educational content :)))
In terms of point 10 specifically, bear in mind that this checklist was published in 2001 (so probably drafted/created in about 1998-2000, depending on the data collection period of research), and involvement in community groups and support groups would be exclusively referring to face-to-face meet ups. So while a lot of people with genuine DID would likely find it much, much easier to talk about stuff online (due to the anonymity and ability to escape the situation safely with no consequences), in a face-to-face setting that would likely be very different, hence the inclusion on this checklist.
Very informative video by the way! Thanks!
i will admit, at first, i was scared to see this video in my recommended. we share the same opinion as you when it comes to fakeclaiming where, unless you are their personal therapist, you cannot claim such a thing about them. thankfully, this video was well explained and emphasized a lot of points that i was afraid wouldn't be made. it's very unfortunate that there are a chunk of professionals that may change the list a bit in order to suit their own biases, such as not diagnosing a system because they recognize themselves or not looking at OSDD or the otherwise unspecified category when it comes to diagnosis. i'm happy to see another system similar to us that wants to spread the good message and change the psychology community's perspective on DID.
I like how this is genuinely helping me determine wether I should seek professional help or not as that cloudy feeling has been taking over my life recently and I’ve been so afraid and staring at the clock because it seems like I’ve been missing entire days or or forgetting so much.
Everyone in this system always explain things so clear and calm. Very informative and easy to follow. I have bin diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 and BPD 7 years ago and I found this channel before my diagnosis because I did think at one point I was not the only one in my body but I have learned there’s a lot of similarities. Small things line up with so many mental illnesses, I personally feel I can empathize on certain things. At the same time I can’t imagine how hard it must me to share a body...I can’t even share my brain with myself. Lol now say one altar has BPD and one alter had agoraphobia...that’s not a good combo....seems like things could be very difficult at times. I do know that when it’s ur life u just have to live it. Thank you all for making this platform for so many people. You are helping our world.
My mom is a therapist for people mainly in DID so she’s really good at finding the faults but she never gets fakers in her clients so she’s honestly lucky.
"My whole life is a lie" oof that hit home haha
You're videos are genuinely so great, I am glad you are getting recognition for it!! You deserve it!
Some of these are really interesting because I suspect I have DID.
The self-help group one makes sense because I went into one and I was so confused by everyone’s symptoms to the point where I don’t comment or actually go in them. I find that it is triggering, been called a faker in one and blamed for it, and I have never really asked for validation from strangers. I post up stuff here and there from panic and stress but it doesn’t feel like a self-help group for me. It feels like curiosity more.
And I struggle to go into my past so I kind of say, “I went through stuff.” And that’s it. Not going into it anymore over that.
And I can describe my experiences extremely well and can give a good example. But I feel scared to say it because mental health workers are intimidating. Idk why.
This is my explanation of my symptoms personally. Depends on everyone else aha
Update: I’m now diagnosed with DID
I can relate to not talking about my symptoms to counselors or therapists (I've been diagnosed with PTSD but I never got around to talking about the people in my head)
When my system first started communicating with me I honestly thought I was schizophrenic and didn't want to say anything about them because I didn't want to be called crazy
I gave one little hint to my therapist one time because I was panicking about a persecutor and didn't want to explain whose rules I had to follow
But now that I know I'm probably not delusional I'm going to be looking for a therapist to find out a diagnosis
It has taken me YEARS of therapy *and* finding the right therapist to be able to speak of my past, at all!! It's still extremely difficult because a lot of the times I simply don't know the answer. Keep trying, and don't give up!!! Much love, Kell - longterm host
This is so very helpful. We've just recently started therapy, not specifically for trauma but I did make sure to bring up that a trauma specialist would be more beneficial. We aren't diagnosed but our symptoms were recognized by a teacher in grade school first, then over the following years more and more shit happened and everything got unmanageable. Then when we actually started doing research a few years ago, we came across you and DissociaDID here on UA-cam and we learned so much and continue to learn. We did decide to join the community but for the first couple of months we weren't active. It wasn't to validate ourselves, it was more of a curiosity. Recently more and more trauma memories have been cropping up and while our collective is more stable our minds aren't. More flashbacks, more nightmares, more fear and anxiety and harsher triggers, more numbness and detachment. It's getting too overwhelming which is why I finally decided to seek therapy. I'm trying to focus less on the box and more on the symptoms, because sometimes I DO seek validation, but I'm trying to be as honest and open as I can be with her so we can actually get all this shit figured out.
This was a really comforting video as someone who doesn't have DID but has other sort of mental health problems: I love that you mentioned that people with genuine DID will show up on a couple of the "fictitious" points, because it really highlights that there isn't a 'perfect' way to have DID or to display your symptoms. I know that, having had to explain my mental health over and over again, I can articulate things quite well, and that makes me feel as if I'm 'faking' somehow. But it's (hopefully) because I've HAD TO explain a lot of times to access the help I needed.