"you don't want more humans in your head, humans are the ones that hurt you"... Wow, that makes so much sense. Thank you. I need to think about that for a bit.
I struggle to understand how people can be so cruel to children for so long, that DID is even forced to occur for survival in the first place. Been a long term supporter, so proud of you all🖤
This is what I always come back to. Like do they think they’re big and strong, hurting a little child so irreparably? Adults who hurt children are the definition of pathetic
That’s the heartbreaking part. The fact that this disorder shouldn’t exist but because there are monsters that are able to be around children and hurt them, the disorder does. It’s so painful to think about. Much love to all systems out there🖤 we see you
scary part is that they, abusers, don't even realize how hurtful they are. religious fanatics are good example... thye may THINK that they doing good for child, to rise "proper" human being. while i do understand how people can be cruel to children, it terrifies me.
And plently of kids suffer the same level of abuse and don't end up with DID. If you include those who develop other dissociative disorders, CPTSD, personality disorders, etc, the number of children who suffer extreme abuse is so much higher. It happens all the time under people's noses, because abusers are calculated, people don't know what to look for and the systems that are supposed to protect kids fail constantly. This isn't at all uncommon, and that's the worst part.
It's wretched. As a survival mechanism it's absolutely fascinating, but the means of acquiring it is beyond horrific and not something that should ever, EVER happen to any child. My own kids are still young so the very notion just hurts that much more.
I know Sally rarely films, so it felt a bit like she was stepping in because she had to in order to get it out of the way for the others. I appreciate that, and the system’s willingness to be vulnerable and show the moments of disassociation in between switches.
I’m very fascinated learning about DID, because I love understanding more about things that are different than me, also to whichever alter reads this comment, I hope that you are happy with how life is going because you deserve to be happy.
I’m the same way!! I actually did a presentation in my Behavioral Health class about DID and everything I’ve learned about it simply because of this channel :D
@@DissociaDIDShortly after I discovered this channel (from anthony's video), DID has been one of my special interests because I'm simply fascinated, and I have AuDHD so I love learning about other mental disorders/disabilities.
I started watching this channel to help understand a system friend better. Stuck around because I found their grounding videos helpful and their voices are soothing
As someone who has also experienced a hobby/comforting thing turning into a trigger, I related to this video. I’m sorry that this became a trigger for the system in the first place, and I’m proud of the work you all did.
He really has. I also love that he's very much himself. That's something I sometimes feel for with the host, when people say "I see this person in your expressions" or "Your laugh is like that person". It can be nice, but sometimes I wonder if it feels like it's taking credit away from what that person is and has been doing. Mike has grown a lot and has put in a ton of effort for it, and I'm super proud of his journey.
Can we stop talking like its differet people. Isnt the idea to intergrage the alters back into the original person? Im new to your channel but not new to did.
This is a triggering story, please be aware before you go on. I was in juvenile prison with a 14 year old child that has DID. This poor child went to the police to tell them her father had been abusing her and was pregnant twice. Her father beat her till she lost both pregnancies. The police didn't believe her, called her father to come get her from the police station. He beat her that badly that night. She snapped, snuck in his room when he was asleep, and beat him to death with a metal lamp. She should have gotten a medal. Instead, she was sent to prison. On a sentence called under the governors pleasure. And will never be released until they think she's reformed. But is the total victim and can't reform when nothing is wrong with her.
To straszne, i to podwójnie. Raz, że w ogóle jest straszne. Ale drugi powód to taki, że w prawie jest ustalone międzynarodowo, i to od pół wieku, że co do zasady osoba z DID nie odpowiada karnie, bo nie ma możliwości rozpoznać i pokierować swoim postępowaniem. Może odpowiadać w pewnych okolicznościach i pewnych granicach, ale na pewno nie w sytuacji takiej jak tutaj! No i mówimy o osobie nieletniej, u nas 14-latek nawet nie odpowiada karnie, tzn. może w pewnych okolicznościach, ale tu mamy obronę przed przemocą i w dodatku z prawdopodobną depresją/innymi reakcjami po przemocy, która doprowadziła do śmierci dwojga nienarodzonych dzieci. Jest jakaś możliwość skontaktowania się z prawnikiem tamtej osoby z DID? Przepraszam, że piszę po polsku, ale trauma i jej strukturalne konsekwencje, a ostatnio też neurologiczne powikłania urazu mózgu pozbawiły mnie dostępu do wielu obszarów wiedzy i nie czuję się dostatecznie kompetentna do napisania tego postu po angielsku. Mam nadzieję, że translator odpowiednio przetłumaczy sens mojej wypowiedzi.
Hearing that “monster” alters can manifest from people telling you you *are* those things seems so obvious, but it clicked so hard. My mother has NPD and was abusive, and the fact that she couldn’t comprehend her actions as wrong from the delusion… she moved on to blame me. Gaslit us into thinking we were playing the mind game to manipulate and be cruel to her. We have a vampire-esque part who holds so much anger and rage, rightfully so, but it makes so much sense knowing that we were told we are evil by the person who was being evil. I never try to make him feel guilty for those things, but it can be so overwhelming to hold those emotions.
hi, olivia from the flight system here. former persecutor, now protector. always have and still identify as a demonic/corrupted humanoid alter. originally our host was watching this to try and better understand me and my situation, as it were. about halfway through, we were communicating and she was apologizing for not realizing just what has caused me to be the way i am, for not understanding the source of my anger and pain... our pain. she was able to watch the beginning of the important note at the end, but, i ended up fronting when she began to cry. i think our body remembers, but she doesnt. only recently did i start trying to learn healthier forms of communication and outlets for my emotions. why? because one person dear to us wasnt frightened by me and heard me out completely. no one had done that before. i liked this form because it kept abusers at a distance and scared potential threats away. but then, when things started to improve in adulthood, no one would listen to me anymore... so i had no way to express things. i became more hurt and more furious, which fed the idea i must be evil. even though i know better now, i still wonder if i will ever get better. but at least this video gives me a little bit of hope that i am not the only one who formed like this, and that it could be better. thank you.
Hi Olivia! It doesn't matter if you are an alter in a system or a single-mind person you can always become better and healthier version of yourself. Some of us experienced in our lives things that we didn't deserve and it makes us bitter and angry. And that's valid.But now you are an adult that can make decisions, protect yourself and love yourself. Other people shaped you when you were a child but now you can shape yourself. I keep my fingers crossed for you to find healing and understanding. Maybe you can open to the host? She seems to be willing to understand and support you. Maybe you can work together with a therapist to help you communicate within the system and outside. Even the strongest person needs help sometimes and a place to be vulnerable. I'm sure you can get better! No one is pure evil, no one is pure good,we are all gray and valid in that.
@@chweuri Hello, this is the host, Runa. Thank you for your kind words! Olivia has always had a hard time reaching out and this video prompted a huge step forward in our journey about cooperating. I'm so... relieved, but I also feel very guilty for being one of those people who thought she was evil. Through therapy, I've come to understand that she's actually quite a team player, even if she doesn't want us to think that. And honestly, I'm shocked she left this message. I'm so happy for her, and thankful for her assistance.
Two minutes into the video and already have things I love to pieces. "We can fuckin speak together nobody's going to be able to tell" made me have a nice giggle. Also "Look, distress tolerance, alright?" hit me in the heart. /pos That's one of my major therapy discussions and it makes me feel warm and bubbly that we're all working on our distress tolerance together
'We must have done an intro in 14 minutes surely' amuses me. Like, DID is obviously serious, but moments like this are funny still because obviously no, you don't know what Sally has said already. She was just doing great as usual.
@@DissociaDID I think the video still made sense, since it was explained through a lot of the examples you gave. Also it's interesting that you didn't remember what Sally had covered but at 18:01 you said "it's not an exhaustive list like Sally said-"
@@cloudy8146 Sally may have been close to the front at the end and made the remark at 18:01. Alternatively, Kem/Mike/Red could have been speaking, and they were all present for Sally's intro, so they remembered. Then again, Soren could be speaking with someone (Kem/Mike/Red/Sally) indicating to him what Sally had said. Lots of possibilities.
When Soren popped back in confused and found myself mummbling "Ground Soren, youre okay". Soren and the whole system is so brave to start filming again after the new trauma and I learn so much from all of you
I don't have DID. There was discussion, years back, that I have something that falls under the Dissociative Disorders umbrella, but we could never figure out where I fit. However, hearing that one sentence "You don't want more humans in your head; humans are the ones that hurt you..." made everything in my head go quiet and pay very VERY close attention to what Mike & Soren were talking about. I started watching your channel ~4 years ago. I don't even remember what was going on that the YT algorithm suggested you to me, but it doesn't much matter at this point. Mike, Soren, Sally, and everyone else that is in your system; everyone else that has made a video over the years, from Mara to Murmer... From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Beyond what you're doing to bring education and awareness to the world at large about DID, your candid discussions about childhood trauma and how it has a lifetime impact on the survivors has done far more to heal my own invisible wounds. I can't speak for anyone else, but thank you. A million times thank you.
Can u tell us how to deel with a alter with a inner would with a similar alter -harry Also alters who have alters inside them off fellow alters -harry/blaise
@@blaisedunbar5097I believe they have an entire video about subsystems from a few years ago which sounds like what you’re talking about. Hope it helps :)
Hearing a stranger tell you through the screen that you can change despite what people may make you believe for your whole life is so fascinatingly wholesome, kinda lost a few tears at that part, but I fully agree. Thank you for this, stay safe
i love how sally was like “don’t worry i got this” and started filming, she’s so cool omg this video was fantastic! i hope you guys are proud of yourselves for being able to film despite it being so triggering. you’ve done amazing❤
When the video actually starts after Soren explains what we're going to see in the video, when Soren is panicking about filming, I felt so seen. This is what my PTSD often looks like for me, especially when I'm in a panicky state or in a new environment. Thank you so much for filming this. Also, the hair is gorgeous! Who chose it?
I second this! Our panic state looks very similar to that, it's not how people would expect panic attacks to be like (crying, sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, all of that), nope it's a lot of us talking back and forth, pacing, trying to laugh it off... It felt so validating, especially cause we always thought "This can't be a panic attack, they should be different" ;w;
I have a friend with DID and I had the chance to meet the "bad" alters - one of the first things I did when I realised I am talking to them was thank them for their contribution (protecting the system in the time of need) even though they told me they are bad and would hurt me, I told them I can't but love them because they are a part of one beautiful system. Thank you, DissociaDID, for helping me better understand my friend, even though I will never truly know what goes on in their head.
Idk what to say this makes me so emotional is a triggering subject for me,but ngl is also so informative and supportive in the same way! One thing I learned is revenge is not the answer,become a better version of yourself and proving they are all wrong to society and others and that you're not afraid anymore is way powering than planning something" bad" to the body. I've planned a lot of thing and succeeded putting my abuser in jail. "You're not like this person. You're better and different,so prove it". I'm the main protector now not longer a persecutor.
@@DissociaDID turning tables is not bad at all lol just an advice don't give up about searching clues to incriminate someone,lots of love to everyone in the system.
“Being made to feel inhuman” most autistic folk already feel like they don’t fit in and I think that’s why a good chunk of autistic systems have un-human alters
So happy you were able to get back to filming. I cant imagine how hard its been for you but im so grateful you all are back to filming when you can. ♡ much love to everyone in the system, including all of the non human alters.
I really like your videos cause i am diagnosed with DID and these just make me feel seen and better and also really helps understanding members of our system ❤️ REALLY love your hair and makeup btw
I am so so so happy you're regularly uploading again. I hope that as time goes along, it gets easier to go through this process. You're extremely cared for in this community ❤
When Soren got pulled in ( 6:15) the change in body language and just the emotions (at least as far as they're visible and how I unconsciously interpreted them) hit me so hard. It was such a small glimpse of how incredibly hard this has been, but it still hit hard. I'm so sorry it's been like this, I admire so much the work you've done with this project and how you keep trying and fighting so hard for yourselves and for this project. I think my thoughts probably took that direction because I've been struggling to keep trying myself (although the situation is obviously not comparable). But it still holds true not just when I'm struggling more, but all the time. Just wanted to share that, and send some love and admiration. I hope that's okay, even it's from this random stranger from half the world away in Neuquén. Take care ♡
I’m new around here. I’m a system who knows very little about being a system or even who’s in my system. I’m hoping to make some friends here because I need people in my life who understand DID and how hard it is to find doctors who are experienced enough to help instead of hurt. I need all of your collective tips on how to heal without good health insurance to get the kind of doctors who actually know how to help me. I’m probably older than most if not all of you. I’m 50 and was just diagnosed at age 45. I feel so alone. I moved during the pandemic not realizing I was moving to a state with very few doctors overall much less doctors who know anything about DID. I’m happy these videos are showing up in my feed again, but I struggle to even watch them because I get so overwhelmed with ideas and questions and things to say or questions to ask that I think I switch away and do something else. So, this time I’m commenting in hopes that planting a flag here will help me be “here” while I’m try to absorb and understand the wisdom shared. This episode is especially meaningful to me because I have non human alters and they are the of the few I’m even able to recognize having been in and out. I don’t even know who “I” am in all of this. I think all my alters identity as “I” because they all use my name and claim it equally as their own name and don’t even desire a unique identity, or so it seems. They/we all seem to try to be one unit, maybe because for most of our life we tried so hard to live up to the potential the world sees when it looks at me/us. It’s incredibly overwhelming to realize every single thing I’ve ever done has been with a mask on. Every single thing I’ve ever accomplished was an alter who successfully faked her way along pretending to be what ever patchwork of an alter we created to accomplish a hard task. And once it’s achieved the alter falls apart in pieces because it was always an illusion to begin with. So, none of my accomplishments stick. And it feels like my whole life has been one sick joke. When I was about 12 I forced two of my alters to stop communicating with each other using my mouth. I had always known I had to leave and find a place alone in the words or on the beach or in the creeks to let them talk, so I’ve always known not to let anybody see it happening. Not until 12 did I realize how unusual it was that people in my head would argue with each other using my mouth. So i absolutely forced them out of my mouth and denied their legitimacy because it scared me. But, now I can’t get the system to trust me enough to reveal itself to me. I spent the ages of 12-45 activity trying to essentially murder the idea of alters, so now they largely do their best to hide from me. I guess. It was this channel that taught me last year that I need to let the system know I’m not trying to murder it anymore, that I validate its lifelong attempt to keep me safe, and forgive each of us for any failed efforts because we are doing the best we can with the tools we have. That has been the best advice anyone has ever given us. I’m so happy you feel able to contribute to these videos again. I will always support your need to step back for self care. I just want you to know I’m happy that right now you’re inspired and compelled to invest energy here 🫶🏼
Hey, sorry I can't really help, as I'm not from the states nor am I a system, but I just wanted to say that you are doing good. 45 years of basically masking is a very long time and I think it will take time to unravell, but you started and that is amazing! I don't think you should blame yourself for hiding it or call it "murdering the idea", because that's what your brain thought you needed to do to survive. Trying to undo that is probably extremely scary to you and your alters. But I believe in you and I hope that you can keep going and eventually get to know your system.
Hi! Checking out videos by the Gianu system may help you! They were also diagnosed far into adulthood. I know they have at least a UA-cam and Instagram but their instagram has way more videos than their UA-cam
I'm in my late 50s, still undiagnosed. The why of that is so much longer than I could put in a comment. But. I just felt drawn to your comment and wanted to tell you this: 1. You are not alone. 2. You will experience some rocky times as you get acquainted with your system. 3. You are a valuable human being. And 4. You got this!
It’s so great seeing you guys again! 🤍 the new lighting and background are BEAUTIFUL! thank you for working so hard to educate the world, even when you’re going through much in your own life- I can’t think of anything more selfless and kind 💗 I’m so happy you all are doing so much better!
This really helped. I have C-PTSD and my abusers have repeatedly told me that I'm bad, I'm narcissistic, I'm awful, and it's so confusing and painful to try to heal from this and realize that these people projected their own pain onto me, and I may actually not be evil through and through. This gave me so much comfort that maybe I am not all those things, and I can be better and I can heal. Thank you ❤
To the persecutors and protector alters watching this: There is no measure of words that could fix or erase what you've gone through or are going through. However, that also does **not** make it your fault. You had to do what you did to protect yourself and you will find safety one day.
I wish I could have given Soren the most comforting hug in the world. I hope Sally was able to help Soren fully work through the feelings of panic and anxiety after filming this video. Sending all my love to the DissociaDID system. ♥♥♥
Hi Soren, I've been following you guys since Nin was the host. I dont have DID myself, but I've struggled with trauma and anxiety/depression. Your videos have been such a help to me, and I can't thank you all enough. Keep up the good work everyone! I'm proud of you. I see your progress. Good luck ❤
As someone who is (probably) neurotypical, while I do enjoy learning about DID, I'm continually amazed at how applicable the advice you give can be to anyone. Mental health is a struggle for all, and I certainly see lessons I've learned from dealing with abuse in this video (and others). So please, keep doing what you're doing, whenever you're able to.
It's great to see everyone work hard and support each other! Kudos to you! I feel like Mara was bleeding out of Sorens speech as he was talking, and I wish that Soren and the rest of the System get all the happiness they deserve. Thank you! ❤
I adore your resilience so much. Though I do not have any (diagnosed) mental health issues, life is just so exhausting and depressing sometimes. But, looking at you and how far you've come, it fills me with strenght and hope that eventually, I can overcome anything. Hi Sally, I just wanted to let you know that your kind words featured on this channel has helped me so much, I regularly revisit your meet the alters video. You emit so much positive and calming energy, I'm always happy to see you pop up in the videos. Keep on going❤
"Just because you were made a certain way doesn't mean you have to be." "They dont run your life anymore." Im crying. I dont have DID, but I have so much pressure put on me and feel like I'm being "made" to be a certain inhuman perfection and its so hard. Thank you, i hope you guys all know that your work is so helpful for so many.
It's how you break everything down so easily for a person who doesn't have DID to understand what could be going on in someone. So thank you for making videos like this.
I’m blown away at the quality of these videos. Knowing how hard they must be to film with all the triggering topics. So proud of your system for getting through this and posting yourself be vulnerable to help others grow and learn. Lots of love to you all ❤️
i'm both a demon and a persecutor turned protector, yet latley i've been slipping into my old ways. the speech done by soren made me cry a little. i knew it already but i think i needed to hear it from someone else. if any other persecutors happen to be reading this, finding an outlet to channel your rage and pain into really helps. one thing i do is journaling, whenever i feel the rage coming on i'll write all that anger into the journal. it never makes sense and my handwriting is shit but it allways clears my mind just enough that i dont do anything destructive. also great job on you guys for recovering enough to record again, the hairstyle youve got in the main video bit is really similar to my hair in headspace exept my hairs waaay more messier. - EXE
So happy to see y'all back! Thank you for the raw look at what communication can look like in tricky moments. I hate the idea of intrasystem communication being overridden by a sense of shame or fear at appearing "crazy" by talking to eachother outloud or physically soothing eachother. So love normalising vocal or obvious system communication 😊❤
Do what makes you feel better! You're never crazy for doing a thing, you're simply helping yourself :) I talk to myself all the time to keep myself in check and I'm a singlet, so I can only imagine how helpful it can be for multiples!
I am so proud of Soren and the entire system. I have been here for so long and the strength that he had to be pushed back into the front and stood his ground to make the video when he didn't have to? That is strength that so many wish they had and aspire to be like. The support of those co-fronting and being there for him is amazing and shows how far you all have come with your journey through everything.
so much happiness flooded my brain when i saw you posted!! 🥰 thank you for working through the difficulty it takes to film & be in the public in general. we truly appreciate your vulnerability in order to deliver this lovely information. ❤️
i just came back to front and we were close to tears, and i just felt it important to tell you that while i don't know who this alter was, it meant alot to them. so thank you. i hope you all have a wonderful day ❤. -Circe
Hearing how you guys all speak outloud to each other is so reassuring because we have lots of moments like that and before diagnosis we were rather confused and it used to happen without our knowing why we were talking outloud and to who. Now that we are starting to understand our system we can understand what it is we were doing.
Hello Soren and all who made this video. I am one of a very large system and I had wondered about your recent fusions and the title of demon used. Thankyou for doing this incredibly brave and i would say difficult video to explain what this sort of thing means. I was brought up very isolated and with no religious influences at all; however there were cultural believes that shaped some of the members of my group. That being said, my best friend was victim of a large cult. (Both of us grew up in the early 1960's) and the things you explain from 12 min onward shed light on how terms like demon can come about. While watching this I realized that at one time I would have called two of the most helpful near by in my group (co- conscious) either perscutors or at very least bullies. Once again I am grateful for your willingness and being so brave and compassionate explaining these things. With that, take care! and love from Alys and Moonbow p.s. at the beginning about 2 min in i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time; it like us trying to leave the house every day. !
im so happy to see you back on youtube. your system is the reason im now a first-year psychology student. i want to help people with DID. i just want to let you know that all of you are strong, inspiring, smart, hardworking and so much more! i’m so grateful to have you in my life. thank you for educating us all, every single video helps me understand DID better and as a (hopefully) future psychotherapist it means more than i could ever express sending lots of love p.s. if you guys know more channels like this that either educate on the topic of did from the perspective of so done who experiences it or just record videos about life with DID in general i would be really happy to have links to them
I don't have DID, but I love learning about it and I just want to say I'm thankful that you have this channel. I've learned more from you all than from any psychiatric channel. Thank you
17:00 From here it hit me so hard . I'm currently struggling with existencial crisis, trying to figure out whether or not I'm a good person, and this made me feel so seen. Thank you all so much, your content goes beyond the DID community and it's so useful to so many of us. You're so brave for sharing this with us, and I'll be forever thankful for this channel ❤
Hi, i have a question for did people if thats okay... i suspect i may have it to some degree but insure. I hear voices from childhood and weird stuff happen to me.. sometimes i begin a sentence in my head and an all différent voice finish it. I have vivid intrusive toughts. Last time i was triggered i hear a male voice (im female) saying "i m gonna make you forget" and indeed i forgot the reason of me being unwell.. are those stuff that could lead to did ? I have a lot but i absolutely dont have big amnesia nor switching i think. But sometimes for no reason i feel highly tired and just cant continue open my eyes.. and i also feel like my head is in a water pool or something.. i hear voices everyday.. i saw psychiatrist and i am not schizo, and i never have been in psych ward, they just dont know what s wrong. what do you did people think ? If that s not the place, this comment can just be deleted.
@cfrch4414 I can relate to your descriptions. Sometimes hard memories or beliefs or information can be suppressed or forgotten because it's too much. We've had post-trauma amnesia a lot and not always aware of switches unless someone points out an inconsistency or asks about an observation like "what did we do this morning?" Or "who are you?"
@@siobhanoconnell9444 thank you so much for your answer, it s so nice talking those stuff without feeling crazy :) i will persevere doing what you say: talking to them.. it s like one-way for now where i hear them but they dont hear me back.. a few time ago i was insulted by a female voice for this very reason, she said i was "hiding". Sometimes they comment my toughts tho.. There is so much i d like to ask did people and compare, you are the only one in the mental health sphere that i relate the most to.. may i ask one last question from you ? Can an alter put an host to sleep forcibly ? Not long ago i felt inexplicably tired, those thing happen, i just cant keep eyes open and eventually give up. When that happen i get lucid dream or sleep paralysis often, last time i saw a angry man in a mansion i often see in dream or hallucinations, i fought with him then lost lucidity ans saw myself talk to him. When i woke up i heard a male voice "you told me to cut my ego". Is that someghing you could relate to ? 😅 Anyway thank you so much, i wish you well :)
As someone with nonhuman alters (and one particularly being a demon), I’m excited to see your take 👀 I'm going to type for her, as she's too young to responsibly behave herself in a comment section. I won't use her name here, so let's just call her A. She's a demon that holds our sexual trauma. She's not a persecutor, she is very sadly a succubus and a little. She is very much torn in two directions, one being sex positive (due to inappropriate things normalized in our childhood) and one trying to be so completely opposite of sexual that no one would ever want to hurt her. Logically, we know those things don't have to align in that way (sex can be good or bad, and one can be blameless and still be hurt--side note: NO ONE deserves to be hurt regardless), but that's just how her mind works. As I'm sure you can imagine, she's someone we have to keep a close watch on. She can't be around pretty much anyone outside the system except for people we trust implicitly. A is very naïve and easily manipulated. Aaaand I'm dissociating, so... To put it short, it's interesting when a demon alter forms that isn't a persecutor or self-hating...idk, I just wanted to put our story out there a little.
DUDE, I LOVE SOREN. also i’ve missed you guys it’s so nice to see your confidence grow and all the new alters ! and i’m so proud of you guys you’re doing great
Right before and during the 11:00 mark, someone with a lot of passion and anger was bleeding through. The voice and the mouth tightness was blazing with emotion. Seeing every emotion possible in this particular video from so many alters. You're all so strong!
We have a persecutor who presents as a demon because he holds the memories of us hurting people/being told we were bad because of our mistakes, and we felt so completely dehumanized by it that he literally feels like he’s not human and is instead a demon. Thank you for spreading awareness about this type of alter, it feels good to have representation ❤❤❤
You are all so amazing - the last few years has put you through so much pain, yet here you are, still fighting, healing and looking absolutely beautiful!❤❤
Huge props for being able to step back in front of the camera. I think if I experienced something like you did I wouldn't let a camera in a one block radius of me.
i’ve been watching for some time and i absolutely adore the system. i have only ever been around one or two people with DID and i was able to make them feel validated and i’d hope safe because of what i’ve learned for all of you. you make a big difference even for those who don’t have DID.
I really appreciate how you provided multiple potential explanations for demonic/devilish alters and I’m very impressed by the strength + capability that this system displays, it’s very clear that you’ve all developed lots of ways to work together and your strength is more than visible :) happy to see DissociaDID back!!
The whole system is so smart and aware, and I appreciate how through fusions and switches that the themes can stay consistent and continue to educate going through all that. It's wild and impressive, and I don't think just anyone with DID could make such an informative and vulnerable channel like this.
We have a demon alter; sometimes, they tell us how much they hate the world by graphically expressing how they'd express the anger and hatred they carry and make terrifying expressions in the mirror. They've terrified me and others scared the shit out of me ngl. This video helped me realise the pain they must have been through and start considering that they are more than how they present. I hope we can start being brave enough to help them through everything since they are one of us too
I stumbled across your channel several years ago, and subscribed because i admired yall's strength and found the psychological aspect facinating. Now several years later I'm watching again because of my best friend. They are the host of a system, but weren't aware of it when we first met. They aren't able to afford therapy yet, so i am using your videos, and other resources, to help them navigate as new alters show up. We're at 18 friends and counting, and without your videos i wouldn't be able to support them as effectively, so i wanted to thank you for doing this, despite the pain it is currently causing you. I hope in time this becomes a source of joy and comfort for you, and that knowing your work is making a difference for other systems may help ease the pain for now.
Thank you. Our behind the scenes video on Patreon goes into it much deeper and explains what's going on too. We think it's important to destigmatise the way communication can look
The segment describing the shift between an understanding attitude towards DID/OSDD when human alters are involved up until the point non-human ones are introduced is exactly what has kept us from divulging too much information about the inner workings of our system. None of us are human. It would be impossible for one to survive. Our inner world simply could not sustain it. For that reason, we've been careful in our discussions and advocacy so far, but this video has once again given us a bit of courage with how forward and informative the tone is. There is no room to second-guess what is being stated or for feelings of self-consciousness to settle in. That is something we strive to embody while educating on these sorts of topics. Thank you for that. ‐ Sterling, from The UN:E System
It's good to see y'all back. Seems weird to say 'I missed you guys' when I'm a stranger, but your absence was felt by many, including me. I will never understand how people can be so unbelievably cruel to children... I don't have DID but I have CPTSD and I relate to a lot of what you talk about. Sending lots of hugs and love to you all
I don't know why but I find DID so interesting, like I can't explain how interested I am in this. I really want to learn more about psychology and how the mind works and this has me hooked. I appreciate this channel existing, thank you!
the bit about not wanting more people in your head-- "you dont want more humans, humans are the ones who hurt you"-- is something i feel very, like, called out by, i guess. i dont have DID, but im a spiritual/physical alterhuman (someone who is, on some or all levels, not human. also referred to as "nonhuman"), and that is, i think, one of the main reasons that i am nonhuman. a lot of my past traumas are the fault of humans (most of it being major bullying and mental abuse from peers in school, to such an extent where i was near suicidal for a few years) and i think that was such a huge reason of the development of my therianthropy, (especially my crow 'type, because i was ridiculed for being weird/an outcast, and crows are a "weird" and stigmatized animal.) generally, i guess the not-wanting-any-more-humanity-in-me thing is something i relate to very well, even though i dont have DID im not sure if that made sense, me talking about my nonhuman experience hardly ever does, so sorry about that😅
Not a system, but over the past several years I've been in therapy working through things from my childhood, and I've realized I very mych relate to being the person that believes they are evil or a monster (I grew up religious). What you said 15:04 about not being inherently bad, I'm beginning the journey to try to believe that for myself. I didnt expect how much I needed to hear it out loud that maybe it doesn't have to be this way forever. I think you all are so incredibly strong and inspiring, and I think I want to still try to be better
The amount of bravery on display here is incredible. You guys should be super proud of you selves!! To Sally, you did a fantastic job stepping in and getting started. I think that may have helped Soren continue. Getting started can be SO hard. To Kem and Red, your support near front is no doubt helping the system chip away at the fear of filming. To Mike, you did a brilliant job with Soren. You did a great job helping with this video! You had a very reliable presence. Your protective side shines here. To Soren. You did an amazing job filming. It was scary, but you did it! It's not easy to do what you are doing. Look inwards and see how powerful you are. How many powerful people have you been? Kyle said to whoever came next "your gonna be OP as sh*t babe." He's not wrong.
Hey! I've been subscribed for several years, psychology and how the human brain works always intrigued me, and since I discovered this channel I love understanding how DID works. Shortly after I started with this fixation, a long-distance friend who I hadn't spoken to in a while told me that he was diagnosed with DID and you helped me a lot in being able to understand him and try to help him at the time. I love seeing how much you have improved over the years and I send you all my good energy so that you are well
Though I don't have DID ( I do have type 1 BPD, though) , your message to persecutors actually spoke to me and things from my childhood that, even though I'm 41, I'm still working through.... June is PTSD awareness month. It's a great time to share and support. You are seen and Supported.
I really appreciate how overall trauma informed your channel is. As a person who had deep religious trauma as a child that followed me into adulthood, along with traumatic experiences that produced a PTSD diagnosis, the validation and vulnerability you all give is so extraordinary. These videos have always been a wonderful reminder on how to be a more trauma informed parent to my kids and to keep breaking the cycles. Love to everyone in the system and thank you again for sharing ❤️
our system is over 1/3rd non-human alters (being a member of marginalized communities, being dehumanized was just a reality to us). it’s a powerful feeling to have a demon/other ‘scary’ being in your head to protect you. our brain has split many of them to cope with our traumas. -silver
I’m so sorry about the things you’ve been through that have made such extreme coping mechanisms necessary, but the impact of the work you’re doing can’t be overstated. I’m humbled by your strength.
this made me cry. this was so incredibly validating. constantly being vilified because i'm trying to protect myself and the littles... i can't take it sometimes. i feel very seen and represented bc i believe my role as a co-host sometimes has to be a persecutor externally, and i'm merely trying to protect us. thank you ❤
You are so amazing for landing on your feet again we can see how much it affected you and you still were strong enough to film a video in the end well done and remember if you started panicking again dont feel forced to make videos we will wait as long as we need too until your ready stay strong❤️
I love how universal y'all's videos are! I'm pretty sure I don't have DID but there's always so much great general trauma and mental health advice, as well as just like, kindness and empathy from the whole system. It makes me feel very comfortable and reminds me to be kinder to myself and those around me ❤️❤️❤️ phenomenal video, as always. So fun and funny as well as educational.
It's so interesting to see the background/reality of these videos, it just makes me respect this system even more. Going through this messy stuff in order to spread awareness and knowledge, just amazing :)
I don't have DID, that I can be 99% sure about, but I do have mental health issues, ADHD, etc. and I have been a longtime watcher and supporter of you! You guys are so strong for constantly trying to get the information out to people, to destigmatize it, even when the making of the video making itself is so traumatic for you. I have so much empathy for you and everyone that suffers from DID disorders, or just hurting in general. Also on a side note, your hair color/style makes your eyes pop more naturally somehow ❤
"you don't want more humans in your head, humans are the ones that hurt you"... Wow, that makes so much sense. Thank you. I need to think about that for a bit.
I'm glad it makes sense, take it gently
makes me think of the sentence that Mara once said: "no god put me here. humans put me here." and it still stands
So many things I need to think about from this 😭💙 Thank you sm for your content!!!
I'm a Diagnosed system as well with a lot of non human alters and that hit way to hard.
I don't have DID but I relate with the feeling of not wanting to be associated with humans in any way due to my experiences and opinions at that time
I struggle to understand how people can be so cruel to children for so long, that DID is even forced to occur for survival in the first place. Been a long term supporter, so proud of you all🖤
This is what I always come back to. Like do they think they’re big and strong, hurting a little child so irreparably? Adults who hurt children are the definition of pathetic
That’s the heartbreaking part. The fact that this disorder shouldn’t exist but because there are monsters that are able to be around children and hurt them, the disorder does. It’s so painful to think about. Much love to all systems out there🖤 we see you
scary part is that they, abusers, don't even realize how hurtful they are. religious fanatics are good example... thye may THINK that they doing good for child, to rise "proper" human being. while i do understand how people can be cruel to children, it terrifies me.
And plently of kids suffer the same level of abuse and don't end up with DID. If you include those who develop other dissociative disorders, CPTSD, personality disorders, etc, the number of children who suffer extreme abuse is so much higher. It happens all the time under people's noses, because abusers are calculated, people don't know what to look for and the systems that are supposed to protect kids fail constantly. This isn't at all uncommon, and that's the worst part.
It's wretched. As a survival mechanism it's absolutely fascinating, but the means of acquiring it is beyond horrific and not something that should ever, EVER happen to any child. My own kids are still young so the very notion just hurts that much more.
3:09 i love sally so much!! she’s a total badass to step into a chaotic situation and to calm everyone down with her signature kindness
She knows when she's needed and calmed the body down like it was easy? My hero tbh
I think she's just one of these people who make you feel accepted and safe no matter what. The world seriously needs more of them.
I love Sally too (and everyone else too of course)! My body relaxed as she started talking. It seems like she is really good at her job 🥰
@@DissociaDID Like a proper Nanny :D
I know Sally rarely films, so it felt a bit like she was stepping in because she had to in order to get it out of the way for the others. I appreciate that, and the system’s willingness to be vulnerable and show the moments of disassociation in between switches.
I’m very fascinated learning about DID, because I love understanding more about things that are different than me, also to whichever alter reads this comment, I hope that you are happy with how life is going because you deserve to be happy.
Thank you so much! - Soren
I'm the same way 😊
I’m the same way!! I actually did a presentation in my Behavioral Health class about DID and everything I’ve learned about it simply because of this channel :D
@@DissociaDIDShortly after I discovered this channel (from anthony's video), DID has been one of my special interests because I'm simply fascinated, and I have AuDHD so I love learning about other mental disorders/disabilities.
I started watching this channel to help understand a system friend better. Stuck around because I found their grounding videos helpful and their voices are soothing
As someone who has also experienced a hobby/comforting thing turning into a trigger, I related to this video. I’m sorry that this became a trigger for the system in the first place, and I’m proud of the work you all did.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
Can I say, I'm really proud of Mike? Like, he's come so far and had big shoes to fill and I'm just really proud of him.
Same here! Mike went a long way and you can see his love and support for the system in the beginning 💖
He really has. I also love that he's very much himself. That's something I sometimes feel for with the host, when people say "I see this person in your expressions" or "Your laugh is like that person". It can be nice, but sometimes I wonder if it feels like it's taking credit away from what that person is and has been doing. Mike has grown a lot and has put in a ton of effort for it, and I'm super proud of his journey.
I was just thinking the same! Mike has come so far, it makes me so proud to see the growth and him healing and getting better (:
Mike with the tired dad energy "look, just have some water 😒"
Can we stop talking like its differet people. Isnt the idea to intergrage the alters back into the original person? Im new to your channel but not new to did.
This is a triggering story, please be aware before you go on. I was in juvenile prison with a 14 year old child that has DID. This poor child went to the police to tell them her father had been abusing her and was pregnant twice. Her father beat her till she lost both pregnancies. The police didn't believe her, called her father to come get her from the police station. He beat her that badly that night. She snapped, snuck in his room when he was asleep, and beat him to death with a metal lamp. She should have gotten a medal. Instead, she was sent to prison. On a sentence called under the governors pleasure. And will never be released until they think she's reformed. But is the total victim and can't reform when nothing is wrong with her.
That poor child.. bless her heart I hope she is a better now or atleast a little
Was her story in the news? I never heard about this before.
To straszne, i to podwójnie. Raz, że w ogóle jest straszne. Ale drugi powód to taki, że w prawie jest ustalone międzynarodowo, i to od pół wieku, że co do zasady osoba z DID nie odpowiada karnie, bo nie ma możliwości rozpoznać i pokierować swoim postępowaniem. Może odpowiadać w pewnych okolicznościach i pewnych granicach, ale na pewno nie w sytuacji takiej jak tutaj! No i mówimy o osobie nieletniej, u nas 14-latek nawet nie odpowiada karnie, tzn. może w pewnych okolicznościach, ale tu mamy obronę przed przemocą i w dodatku z prawdopodobną depresją/innymi reakcjami po przemocy, która doprowadziła do śmierci dwojga nienarodzonych dzieci.
Jest jakaś możliwość skontaktowania się z prawnikiem tamtej osoby z DID?
Przepraszam, że piszę po polsku, ale trauma i jej strukturalne konsekwencje, a ostatnio też neurologiczne powikłania urazu mózgu pozbawiły mnie dostępu do wielu obszarów wiedzy i nie czuję się dostatecznie kompetentna do napisania tego postu po angielsku. Mam nadzieję, że translator odpowiednio przetłumaczy sens mojej wypowiedzi.
this is a story that will never leave me. if there’s any possibility you can spread info or resources to help them, please do! much love 🤍
@@didsocietywspółczuję, powodzenia tam 👋
Hearing that “monster” alters can manifest from people telling you you *are* those things seems so obvious, but it clicked so hard. My mother has NPD and was abusive, and the fact that she couldn’t comprehend her actions as wrong from the delusion… she moved on to blame me. Gaslit us into thinking we were playing the mind game to manipulate and be cruel to her. We have a vampire-esque part who holds so much anger and rage, rightfully so, but it makes so much sense knowing that we were told we are evil by the person who was being evil. I never try to make him feel guilty for those things, but it can be so overwhelming to hold those emotions.
I'm so sorry you experienced that
@@DissociaDID Thank you 💗 It is wonderful that a beautiful and accepting community came from it, nonetheless.
hi, olivia from the flight system here. former persecutor, now protector. always have and still identify as a demonic/corrupted humanoid alter.
originally our host was watching this to try and better understand me and my situation, as it were. about halfway through, we were communicating and she was apologizing for not realizing just what has caused me to be the way i am, for not understanding the source of my anger and pain... our pain. she was able to watch the beginning of the important note at the end, but, i ended up fronting when she began to cry. i think our body remembers, but she doesnt. only recently did i start trying to learn healthier forms of communication and outlets for my emotions. why? because one person dear to us wasnt frightened by me and heard me out completely. no one had done that before. i liked this form because it kept abusers at a distance and scared potential threats away. but then, when things started to improve in adulthood, no one would listen to me anymore... so i had no way to express things. i became more hurt and more furious, which fed the idea i must be evil. even though i know better now, i still wonder if i will ever get better. but at least this video gives me a little bit of hope that i am not the only one who formed like this, and that it could be better.
thank you.
You are better now! You're valid, and important to your system.
try lithium
@@goose5761medication doesn’t help manage DID
Hi Olivia! It doesn't matter if you are an alter in a system or a single-mind person you can always become better and healthier version of yourself. Some of us experienced in our lives things that we didn't deserve and it makes us bitter and angry. And that's valid.But now you are an adult that can make decisions, protect yourself and love yourself. Other people shaped you when you were a child but now you can shape yourself. I keep my fingers crossed for you to find healing and understanding. Maybe you can open to the host? She seems to be willing to understand and support you. Maybe you can work together with a therapist to help you communicate within the system and outside. Even the strongest person needs help sometimes and a place to be vulnerable. I'm sure you can get better! No one is pure evil, no one is pure good,we are all gray and valid in that.
@@chweuri Hello, this is the host, Runa. Thank you for your kind words! Olivia has always had a hard time reaching out and this video prompted a huge step forward in our journey about cooperating. I'm so... relieved, but I also feel very guilty for being one of those people who thought she was evil. Through therapy, I've come to understand that she's actually quite a team player, even if she doesn't want us to think that. And honestly, I'm shocked she left this message. I'm so happy for her, and thankful for her assistance.
Two minutes into the video and already have things I love to pieces.
"We can fuckin speak together nobody's going to be able to tell" made me have a nice giggle. Also "Look, distress tolerance, alright?" hit me in the heart. /pos That's one of my major therapy discussions and it makes me feel warm and bubbly that we're all working on our distress tolerance together
'We must have done an intro in 14 minutes surely' amuses me. Like, DID is obviously serious, but moments like this are funny still because obviously no, you don't know what Sally has said already. She was just doing great as usual.
I didn't realise she hadn't fully explained how DID worked until the vid was in editing because I had amnesia 💀
@@DissociaDID I think the video still made sense, since it was explained through a lot of the examples you gave. Also it's interesting that you didn't remember what Sally had covered but at 18:01 you said "it's not an exhaustive list like Sally said-"
@@cloudy8146 Sally may have been close to the front at the end and made the remark at 18:01. Alternatively, Kem/Mike/Red could have been speaking, and they were all present for Sally's intro, so they remembered. Then again, Soren could be speaking with someone (Kem/Mike/Red/Sally) indicating to him what Sally had said. Lots of possibilities.
Wow your good at keeping track@drdrowzee
When Soren popped back in confused and found myself mummbling "Ground Soren, youre okay". Soren and the whole system is so brave to start filming again after the new trauma and I learn so much from all of you
I don't have DID. There was discussion, years back, that I have something that falls under the Dissociative Disorders umbrella, but we could never figure out where I fit. However, hearing that one sentence "You don't want more humans in your head; humans are the ones that hurt you..." made everything in my head go quiet and pay very VERY close attention to what Mike & Soren were talking about.
I started watching your channel ~4 years ago. I don't even remember what was going on that the YT algorithm suggested you to me, but it doesn't much matter at this point. Mike, Soren, Sally, and everyone else that is in your system; everyone else that has made a video over the years, from Mara to Murmer... From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Beyond what you're doing to bring education and awareness to the world at large about DID, your candid discussions about childhood trauma and how it has a lifetime impact on the survivors has done far more to heal my own invisible wounds. I can't speak for anyone else, but thank you. A million times thank you.
Seconding all of this ❤
Through the very last mins of the video I can feel Mara in Soren
Yes! I sensed this also.
I’m so proud of how far you’ve come to be able to film again. Hope the flu left as well. Sending love 💛
❤️❤️ Feeling a lot better now thank you
Can u tell us how to deel with a alter with a inner would with a similar alter -harry
Also alters who have alters inside them off fellow alters -harry/blaise
@@blaisedunbar5097I believe they have an entire video about subsystems from a few years ago which sounds like what you’re talking about. Hope it helps :)
Hearing a stranger tell you through the screen that you can change despite what people may make you believe for your whole life is so fascinatingly wholesome, kinda lost a few tears at that part, but I fully agree. Thank you for this, stay safe
I love how frequently you are posting!!! I really hope making the channel helps with recent disasters! You deserve some good luck Xxx
Every Sunday at 6pm BST! ❤️🍀
the hair in the thumbnail looks so cute 🥺
Thank you ❤️
that burst of energy between Mike and Soren 😂
Ikr😂
I love them
The way they immediately started bickering lol
i love how sally was like “don’t worry i got this” and started filming, she’s so cool omg
this video was fantastic! i hope you guys are proud of yourselves for being able to film despite it being so triggering. you’ve done amazing❤
Everyone needs a Sally ❤
When the video actually starts after Soren explains what we're going to see in the video, when Soren is panicking about filming, I felt so seen. This is what my PTSD often looks like for me, especially when I'm in a panicky state or in a new environment. Thank you so much for filming this.
Also, the hair is gorgeous! Who chose it?
I did! (Soren) and I'm glad you felt seen ❤️
@@DissociaDID I'm loving the new hair! it looks so cool!!
I second this!
Our panic state looks very similar to that, it's not how people would expect panic attacks to be like (crying, sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, all of that), nope it's a lot of us talking back and forth, pacing, trying to laugh it off...
It felt so validating, especially cause we always thought "This can't be a panic attack, they should be different" ;w;
the “ducking calm down PLEASE” is literally our mediator and i 24/7 😭😭😭
the speed at which i just clicked on my phone 😭😭 (I LOVE THE HAIR OMGGG)
Same xd
Same😂
Same
This 🤍
Soren has such good taste ❤
I have a friend with DID and I had the chance to meet the "bad" alters - one of the first things I did when I realised I am talking to them was thank them for their contribution (protecting the system in the time of need) even though they told me they are bad and would hurt me, I told them I can't but love them because they are a part of one beautiful system. Thank you, DissociaDID, for helping me better understand my friend, even though I will never truly know what goes on in their head.
Another beautiful video from our favorite creator. Never let people bring you down!!! We love you!
Awh thank u!!
Idk what to say this makes me so emotional is a triggering subject for me,but ngl is also so informative and supportive in the same way!
One thing I learned is revenge is not the answer,become a better version of yourself and proving they are all wrong to society and others and that you're not afraid anymore is way powering than planning something" bad" to the body. I've planned a lot of thing and succeeded putting my abuser in jail.
"You're not like this person. You're better and different,so prove it".
I'm the main protector now not longer a persecutor.
That's incredible. And Im so glad you got justice too ❤️
@@DissociaDID turning tables is not bad at all lol just an advice don't give up about searching clues to incriminate someone,lots of love to everyone in the system.
“Being made to feel inhuman” most autistic folk already feel like they don’t fit in and I think that’s why a good chunk of autistic systems have un-human alters
So happy you were able to get back to filming. I cant imagine how hard its been for you but im so grateful you all are back to filming when you can. ♡ much love to everyone in the system, including all of the non human alters.
Sallyyyyy, oh your voice is so calming and I missed seeing you in videos! I hope your garden is doing well 🌱❤️
This is so cute I'm going to leave her a message for you haha
@@DissociaDID Oh thank you! I hope all of you can keep up the amazing work, but still remember to keep yourselves safe and happy! ❤️
Sally seems lovely.😊
I really like your videos cause i am diagnosed with DID and these just make me feel seen and better and also really helps understanding members of our system ❤️ REALLY love your hair and makeup btw
This makes us so happy to hear
i missed Sally. she still has that calming and gentle tone ❤
I agree
sally is so sweet she makes me feel so safe whenever she speaks
I am so so so happy you're regularly uploading again. I hope that as time goes along, it gets easier to go through this process. You're extremely cared for in this community ❤
This is so lovely thank you so much ❤️❤️
When Soren got pulled in ( 6:15) the change in body language and just the emotions (at least as far as they're visible and how I unconsciously interpreted them) hit me so hard. It was such a small glimpse of how incredibly hard this has been, but it still hit hard. I'm so sorry it's been like this, I admire so much the work you've done with this project and how you keep trying and fighting so hard for yourselves and for this project.
I think my thoughts probably took that direction because I've been struggling to keep trying myself (although the situation is obviously not comparable). But it still holds true not just when I'm struggling more, but all the time.
Just wanted to share that, and send some love and admiration. I hope that's okay, even it's from this random stranger from half the world away in Neuquén. Take care ♡
I’m new around here. I’m a system who knows very little about being a system or even who’s in my system. I’m hoping to make some friends here because I need people in my life who understand DID and how hard it is to find doctors who are experienced enough to help instead of hurt. I need all of your collective tips on how to heal without good health insurance to get the kind of doctors who actually know how to help me.
I’m probably older than most if not all of you. I’m 50 and was just diagnosed at age 45. I feel so alone. I moved during the pandemic not realizing I was moving to a state with very few doctors overall much less doctors who know anything about DID.
I’m happy these videos are showing up in my feed again, but I struggle to even watch them because I get so overwhelmed with ideas and questions and things to say or questions to ask that I think I switch away and do something else. So, this time I’m commenting in hopes that planting a flag here will help me be “here” while I’m try to absorb and understand the wisdom shared.
This episode is especially meaningful to me because I have non human alters and they are the of the few I’m even able to recognize having been in and out. I don’t even know who “I” am in all of this. I think all my alters identity as “I” because they all use my name and claim it equally as their own name and don’t even desire a unique identity, or so it seems. They/we all seem to try to be one unit, maybe because for most of our life we tried so hard to live up to the potential the world sees when it looks at me/us. It’s incredibly overwhelming to realize every single thing I’ve ever done has been with a mask on. Every single thing I’ve ever accomplished was an alter who successfully faked her way along pretending to be what ever patchwork of an alter we created to accomplish a hard task. And once it’s achieved the alter falls apart in pieces because it was always an illusion to begin with. So, none of my accomplishments stick. And it feels like my whole life has been one sick joke.
When I was about 12 I forced two of my alters to stop communicating with each other using my mouth. I had always known I had to leave and find a place alone in the words or on the beach or in the creeks to let them talk, so I’ve always known not to let anybody see it happening. Not until 12 did I realize how unusual it was that people in my head would argue with each other using my mouth. So i absolutely forced them out of my mouth and denied their legitimacy because it scared me.
But, now I can’t get the system to trust me enough to reveal itself to me. I spent the ages of 12-45 activity trying to essentially murder the idea of alters, so now they largely do their best to hide from me. I guess.
It was this channel that taught me last year that I need to let the system know I’m not trying to murder it anymore, that I validate its lifelong attempt to keep me safe, and forgive each of us for any failed efforts because we are doing the best we can with the tools we have.
That has been the best advice anyone has ever given us. I’m so happy you feel able to contribute to these videos again. I will always support your need to step back for self care. I just want you to know I’m happy that right now you’re inspired and compelled to invest energy here 🫶🏼
Hey, sorry I can't really help, as I'm not from the states nor am I a system, but I just wanted to say that you are doing good. 45 years of basically masking is a very long time and I think it will take time to unravell, but you started and that is amazing! I don't think you should blame yourself for hiding it or call it "murdering the idea", because that's what your brain thought you needed to do to survive. Trying to undo that is probably extremely scary to you and your alters. But I believe in you and I hope that you can keep going and eventually get to know your system.
@@zuzpager thank you 🙏🏼 I appreciate your support
Hi! Checking out videos by the Gianu system may help you! They were also diagnosed far into adulthood. I know they have at least a UA-cam and Instagram but their instagram has way more videos than their UA-cam
@@sari9645 thank you! I will!
I'm in my late 50s, still undiagnosed. The why of that is so much longer than I could put in a comment. But. I just felt drawn to your comment and wanted to tell you this: 1. You are not alone. 2. You will experience some rocky times as you get acquainted with your system. 3. You are a valuable human being. And 4. You got this!
our persecutor watched the part about it, he was quite emotional after as someone was able to word how he felt. thank you
It’s so great seeing you guys again! 🤍 the new lighting and background are BEAUTIFUL! thank you for working so hard to educate the world, even when you’re going through much in your own life- I can’t think of anything more selfless and kind 💗 I’m so happy you all are doing so much better!
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
This really helped. I have C-PTSD and my abusers have repeatedly told me that I'm bad, I'm narcissistic, I'm awful, and it's so confusing and painful to try to heal from this and realize that these people projected their own pain onto me, and I may actually not be evil through and through. This gave me so much comfort that maybe I am not all those things, and I can be better and I can heal. Thank you ❤
I also have C-PTSD and watching this has helped me soooooo much just process some of what has happened to me
To the persecutors and protector alters watching this: There is no measure of words that could fix or erase what you've gone through or are going through. However, that also does **not** make it your fault. You had to do what you did to protect yourself and you will find safety one day.
@DissociaDID I just saw this half a year later. I still stand by it.
I wish I could have given Soren the most comforting hug in the world. I hope Sally was able to help Soren fully work through the feelings of panic and anxiety after filming this video. Sending all my love to the DissociaDID system. ♥♥♥
Hi Soren, I've been following you guys since Nin was the host. I dont have DID myself, but I've struggled with trauma and anxiety/depression. Your videos have been such a help to me, and I can't thank you all enough. Keep up the good work everyone! I'm proud of you. I see your progress. Good luck ❤
As someone who is (probably) neurotypical, while I do enjoy learning about DID, I'm continually amazed at how applicable the advice you give can be to anyone. Mental health is a struggle for all, and I certainly see lessons I've learned from dealing with abuse in this video (and others). So please, keep doing what you're doing, whenever you're able to.
It's great to see everyone work hard and support each other! Kudos to you! I feel like Mara was bleeding out of Sorens speech as he was talking, and I wish that Soren and the rest of the System get all the happiness they deserve. Thank you! ❤
I adore your resilience so much. Though I do not have any (diagnosed) mental health issues, life is just so exhausting and depressing sometimes. But, looking at you and how far you've come, it fills me with strenght and hope that eventually, I can overcome anything.
Hi Sally, I just wanted to let you know that your kind words featured on this channel has helped me so much, I regularly revisit your meet the alters video. You emit so much positive and calming energy, I'm always happy to see you pop up in the videos. Keep on going❤
I love how your videos are both helpful for people with DID and informative for people learning about it.
"Just because you were made a certain way doesn't mean you have to be."
"They dont run your life anymore."
Im crying. I dont have DID, but I have so much pressure put on me and feel like I'm being "made" to be a certain inhuman perfection and its so hard. Thank you, i hope you guys all know that your work is so helpful for so many.
It's how you break everything down so easily for a person who doesn't have DID to understand what could be going on in someone.
So thank you for making videos like this.
So happy you are back ❤ I don’t have DID, but I do have childhood trauma and it hurts my heart to know your system and others have been hurt so badly.
I'm so sorry you went through that too ❤️
I’m blown away at the quality of these videos. Knowing how hard they must be to film with all the triggering topics. So proud of your system for getting through this and posting yourself be vulnerable to help others grow and learn.
Lots of love to you all ❤️
i'm both a demon and a persecutor turned protector, yet latley i've been slipping into my old ways. the speech done by soren made me cry a little. i knew it already but i think i needed to hear it from someone else.
if any other persecutors happen to be reading this, finding an outlet to channel your rage and pain into really helps. one thing i do is journaling, whenever i feel the rage coming on i'll write all that anger into the journal. it never makes sense and my handwriting is shit but it allways clears my mind just enough that i dont do anything destructive.
also great job on you guys for recovering enough to record again, the hairstyle youve got in the main video bit is really similar to my hair in headspace exept my hairs waaay more messier. - EXE
So happy to see y'all back! Thank you for the raw look at what communication can look like in tricky moments. I hate the idea of intrasystem communication being overridden by a sense of shame or fear at appearing "crazy" by talking to eachother outloud or physically soothing eachother. So love normalising vocal or obvious system communication 😊❤
Do what makes you feel better! You're never crazy for doing a thing, you're simply helping yourself :) I talk to myself all the time to keep myself in check and I'm a singlet, so I can only imagine how helpful it can be for multiples!
I am so proud of Soren and the entire system. I have been here for so long and the strength that he had to be pushed back into the front and stood his ground to make the video when he didn't have to? That is strength that so many wish they had and aspire to be like. The support of those co-fronting and being there for him is amazing and shows how far you all have come with your journey through everything.
so much happiness flooded my brain when i saw you posted!! 🥰
thank you for working through the difficulty it takes to film & be in the public in general. we truly appreciate your vulnerability in order to deliver this lovely information. ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
don’t push yourself too hard! We love you!
i just came back to front and we were close to tears, and i just felt it important to tell you that while i don't know who this alter was, it meant alot to them. so thank you. i hope you all have a wonderful day ❤. -Circe
Man I’m so in awe of how positive these comment sections always are. You guys have really fostered a beautiful community here💛
Your videos help us so much when grounding! Your voice no matter who’s fronting calms down the body really quickly, thank you so much
Hearing how you guys all speak outloud to each other is so reassuring because we have lots of moments like that and before diagnosis we were rather confused and it used to happen without our knowing why we were talking outloud and to who. Now that we are starting to understand our system we can understand what it is we were doing.
Hello Soren and all who made this video. I am one of a very large system and I had wondered about your recent fusions and the title of demon used. Thankyou for doing this incredibly brave and i would say difficult video to explain what this sort of thing means. I was brought up very isolated and with no religious influences at all; however there were cultural believes that shaped some of the members of my group. That being said, my best friend was victim of a large cult. (Both of us grew up in the early 1960's) and the things you explain from 12 min onward shed light on how terms like demon can come about. While watching this I realized that at one time I would have called two of the most helpful near by in my group (co- conscious) either perscutors or at very least bullies. Once again I am grateful for your willingness and being so brave and compassionate explaining these things. With that, take care! and love from Alys and Moonbow p.s. at the beginning about 2 min in i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time; it like us trying to leave the house every day. !
I love the whole system but Sally is such a sweetheart!! She's so comforting
im so happy to see you back on youtube. your system is the reason im now a first-year psychology student. i want to help people with DID. i just want to let you know that all of you are strong, inspiring, smart, hardworking and so much more! i’m so grateful to have you in my life. thank you for educating us all, every single video helps me understand DID better and as a (hopefully) future psychotherapist it means more than i could ever express sending lots of love p.s. if you guys know more channels like this that either educate on the topic of did from the perspective of so done who experiences it or just record videos about life with DID in general i would be really happy to have links to them
I don't have DID, but I love learning about it and I just want to say I'm thankful that you have this channel. I've learned more from you all than from any psychiatric channel. Thank you
17:00 From here it hit me so hard . I'm currently struggling with existencial crisis, trying to figure out whether or not I'm a good person, and this made me feel so seen. Thank you all so much, your content goes beyond the DID community and it's so useful to so many of us. You're so brave for sharing this with us, and I'll be forever thankful for this channel ❤
All of the communication within my system is within the mind. We think at each other. I like to tell people it's like one big conference call
We do this too but it's easier for us to "hear" each other by hearing the body speak if we are all near front!
Hi, i have a question for did people if thats okay... i suspect i may have it to some degree but insure. I hear voices from childhood and weird stuff happen to me.. sometimes i begin a sentence in my head and an all différent voice finish it. I have vivid intrusive toughts. Last time i was triggered i hear a male voice (im female) saying "i m gonna make you forget" and indeed i forgot the reason of me being unwell.. are those stuff that could lead to did ? I have a lot but i absolutely dont have big amnesia nor switching i think. But sometimes for no reason i feel highly tired and just cant continue open my eyes.. and i also feel like my head is in a water pool or something.. i hear voices everyday.. i saw psychiatrist and i am not schizo, and i never have been in psych ward, they just dont know what s wrong. what do you did people think ? If that s not the place, this comment can just be deleted.
@cfrch4414 I can relate to your descriptions. Sometimes hard memories or beliefs or information can be suppressed or forgotten because it's too much. We've had post-trauma amnesia a lot and not always aware of switches unless someone points out an inconsistency or asks about an observation like "what did we do this morning?" Or "who are you?"
I would humbly suggest to speak with that voice if it speaks in your head again.
@@siobhanoconnell9444 thank you so much for your answer, it s so nice talking those stuff without feeling crazy :) i will persevere doing what you say: talking to them.. it s like one-way for now where i hear them but they dont hear me back.. a few time ago i was insulted by a female voice for this very reason, she said i was "hiding". Sometimes they comment my toughts tho..
There is so much i d like to ask did people and compare, you are the only one in the mental health sphere that i relate the most to.. may i ask one last question from you ? Can an alter put an host to sleep forcibly ? Not long ago i felt inexplicably tired, those thing happen, i just cant keep eyes open and eventually give up. When that happen i get lucid dream or sleep paralysis often, last time i saw a angry man in a mansion i often see in dream or hallucinations, i fought with him then lost lucidity ans saw myself talk to him. When i woke up i heard a male voice "you told me to cut my ego". Is that someghing you could relate to ? 😅
Anyway thank you so much, i wish you well :)
As someone with nonhuman alters (and one particularly being a demon), I’m excited to see your take 👀
I'm going to type for her, as she's too young to responsibly behave herself in a comment section. I won't use her name here, so let's just call her A. She's a demon that holds our sexual trauma. She's not a persecutor, she is very sadly a succubus and a little. She is very much torn in two directions, one being sex positive (due to inappropriate things normalized in our childhood) and one trying to be so completely opposite of sexual that no one would ever want to hurt her. Logically, we know those things don't have to align in that way (sex can be good or bad, and one can be blameless and still be hurt--side note: NO ONE deserves to be hurt regardless), but that's just how her mind works. As I'm sure you can imagine, she's someone we have to keep a close watch on. She can't be around pretty much anyone outside the system except for people we trust implicitly. A is very naïve and easily manipulated. Aaaand I'm dissociating, so...
To put it short, it's interesting when a demon alter forms that isn't a persecutor or self-hating...idk, I just wanted to put our story out there a little.
DUDE, I LOVE SOREN. also i’ve missed you guys it’s so nice to see your confidence grow and all the new alters ! and i’m so proud of you guys you’re doing great
Right before and during the 11:00 mark, someone with a lot of passion and anger was bleeding through. The voice and the mouth tightness was blazing with emotion. Seeing every emotion possible in this particular video from so many alters. You're all so strong!
We have a persecutor who presents as a demon because he holds the memories of us hurting people/being told we were bad because of our mistakes, and we felt so completely dehumanized by it that he literally feels like he’s not human and is instead a demon. Thank you for spreading awareness about this type of alter, it feels good to have representation ❤❤❤
Thank you for everything your system does! You guys are wonderful! ❤
Thank you!
You are all so amazing - the last few years has put you through so much pain, yet here you are, still fighting, healing and looking absolutely beautiful!❤❤
Your words really struck a cord in us today, words we've needed to hear for a while.
❤️❤️❤️
Huge props for being able to step back in front of the camera. I think if I experienced something like you did I wouldn't let a camera in a one block radius of me.
sending lots of love to soren and co, so proud of y’all for successfully filming this video after the trauma from last year 🫶🫶
Thank you! It's tough ngl! Lots of behind the scenes insights on patreon but we are pushing through pretty well I think!
i’ve been watching for some time and i absolutely adore the system. i have only ever been around one or two people with DID and i was able to make them feel validated and i’d hope safe because of what i’ve learned for all of you. you make a big difference even for those who don’t have DID.
For years we were treated like we were a demon by our own mother, we appreciate this video so much.
Thank you ❤
I really appreciate how you provided multiple potential explanations for demonic/devilish alters and I’m very impressed by the strength + capability that this system displays, it’s very clear that you’ve all developed lots of ways to work together and your strength is more than visible :) happy to see DissociaDID back!!
Thank you so much ❤️
The whole system is so smart and aware, and I appreciate how through fusions and switches that the themes can stay consistent and continue to educate going through all that. It's wild and impressive, and I don't think just anyone with DID could make such an informative and vulnerable channel like this.
I don't have DID, but that final message you send to the alters, where you look straight into the camera made me teary eyed
lots of love to the system
We have a demon alter; sometimes, they tell us how much they hate the world by graphically expressing how they'd express the anger and hatred they carry and make terrifying expressions in the mirror. They've terrified me and others scared the shit out of me ngl. This video helped me realise the pain they must have been through and start considering that they are more than how they present. I hope we can start being brave enough to help them through everything since they are one of us too
It's so good to see everybody again! Especially Sally!
You're all such badasses for overcoming so much trauma in your life and returning to youtube
I don't normally comment, but I have to let you know that you are actually my favourite creator, thank you for what you do
Honoured! Tysm!!
I stumbled across your channel several years ago, and subscribed because i admired yall's strength and found the psychological aspect facinating. Now several years later I'm watching again because of my best friend. They are the host of a system, but weren't aware of it when we first met. They aren't able to afford therapy yet, so i am using your videos, and other resources, to help them navigate as new alters show up. We're at 18 friends and counting, and without your videos i wouldn't be able to support them as effectively, so i wanted to thank you for doing this, despite the pain it is currently causing you. I hope in time this becomes a source of joy and comfort for you, and that knowing your work is making a difference for other systems may help ease the pain for now.
I think this is one of the most informative videos I've seen from you guys because it really represents the communication and work between the system
Thank you. Our behind the scenes video on Patreon goes into it much deeper and explains what's going on too. We think it's important to destigmatise the way communication can look
The segment describing the shift between an understanding attitude towards DID/OSDD when human alters are involved up until the point non-human ones are introduced is exactly what has kept us from divulging too much information about the inner workings of our system. None of us are human. It would be impossible for one to survive. Our inner world simply could not sustain it. For that reason, we've been careful in our discussions and advocacy so far, but this video has once again given us a bit of courage with how forward and informative the tone is. There is no room to second-guess what is being stated or for feelings of self-consciousness to settle in. That is something we strive to embody while educating on these sorts of topics. Thank you for that.
‐ Sterling, from The UN:E System
It's good to see y'all back. Seems weird to say 'I missed you guys' when I'm a stranger, but your absence was felt by many, including me. I will never understand how people can be so unbelievably cruel to children... I don't have DID but I have CPTSD and I relate to a lot of what you talk about. Sending lots of hugs and love to you all
I don't know why but I find DID so interesting, like I can't explain how interested I am in this. I really want to learn more about psychology and how the mind works and this has me hooked. I appreciate this channel existing, thank you!
the bit about not wanting more people in your head-- "you dont want more humans, humans are the ones who hurt you"-- is something i feel very, like, called out by, i guess.
i dont have DID, but im a spiritual/physical alterhuman (someone who is, on some or all levels, not human. also referred to as "nonhuman"), and that is, i think, one of the main reasons that i am nonhuman. a lot of my past traumas are the fault of humans (most of it being major bullying and mental abuse from peers in school, to such an extent where i was near suicidal for a few years) and i think that was such a huge reason of the development of my therianthropy, (especially my crow 'type, because i was ridiculed for being weird/an outcast, and crows are a "weird" and stigmatized animal.)
generally, i guess the not-wanting-any-more-humanity-in-me thing is something i relate to very well, even though i dont have DID
im not sure if that made sense, me talking about my nonhuman experience hardly ever does, so sorry about that😅
Not a system, but over the past several years I've been in therapy working through things from my childhood, and I've realized I very mych relate to being the person that believes they are evil or a monster (I grew up religious). What you said 15:04 about not being inherently bad, I'm beginning the journey to try to believe that for myself. I didnt expect how much I needed to hear it out loud that maybe it doesn't have to be this way forever.
I think you all are so incredibly strong and inspiring, and I think I want to still try to be better
The amount of bravery on display here is incredible. You guys should be super proud of you selves!!
To Sally, you did a fantastic job stepping in and getting started. I think that may have helped Soren continue. Getting started can be SO hard.
To Kem and Red, your support near front is no doubt helping the system chip away at the fear of filming.
To Mike, you did a brilliant job with Soren. You did a great job helping with this video! You had a very reliable presence. Your protective side shines here.
To Soren. You did an amazing job filming. It was scary, but you did it! It's not easy to do what you are doing. Look inwards and see how powerful you are. How many powerful people have you been? Kyle said to whoever came next "your gonna be OP as sh*t babe." He's not wrong.
Hey! I've been subscribed for several years, psychology and how the human brain works always intrigued me, and since I discovered this channel I love understanding how DID works. Shortly after I started with this fixation, a long-distance friend who I hadn't spoken to in a while told me that he was diagnosed with DID and you helped me a lot in being able to understand him and try to help him at the time. I love seeing how much you have improved over the years and I send you all my good energy so that you are well
Though I don't have DID ( I do have type 1 BPD, though) , your message to persecutors actually spoke to me and things from my childhood that, even though I'm 41, I'm still working through....
June is PTSD awareness month. It's a great time to share and support. You are seen and Supported.
I really appreciate how overall trauma informed your channel is. As a person who had deep religious trauma as a child that followed me into adulthood, along with traumatic experiences that produced a PTSD diagnosis, the validation and vulnerability you all give is so extraordinary. These videos have always been a wonderful reminder on how to be a more trauma informed parent to my kids and to keep breaking the cycles. Love to everyone in the system and thank you again for sharing ❤️
our system is over 1/3rd non-human alters (being a member of marginalized communities, being dehumanized was just a reality to us).
it’s a powerful feeling to have a demon/other ‘scary’ being in your head to protect you. our brain has split many of them to cope with our traumas. -silver
I’m so sorry about the things you’ve been through that have made such extreme coping mechanisms necessary, but the impact of the work you’re doing can’t be overstated. I’m humbled by your strength.
this made me cry. this was so incredibly validating. constantly being vilified because i'm trying to protect myself and the littles... i can't take it sometimes. i feel very seen and represented bc i believe my role as a co-host sometimes has to be a persecutor externally, and i'm merely trying to protect us. thank you ❤
You are so amazing for landing on your feet again we can see how much it affected you and you still were strong enough to film a video in the end well done and remember if you started panicking again dont feel forced to make videos we will wait as long as we need too until your ready stay strong❤️
I love how universal y'all's videos are! I'm pretty sure I don't have DID but there's always so much great general trauma and mental health advice, as well as just like, kindness and empathy from the whole system. It makes me feel very comfortable and reminds me to be kinder to myself and those around me ❤️❤️❤️ phenomenal video, as always. So fun and funny as well as educational.
Thank you for keep making these educational videos! I've been around for a few years and I deeply support you all. You are so strong!
It's so interesting to see the background/reality of these videos, it just makes me respect this system even more. Going through this messy stuff in order to spread awareness and knowledge, just amazing :)
I don't have DID, that I can be 99% sure about, but I do have mental health issues, ADHD, etc. and I have been a longtime watcher and supporter of you! You guys are so strong for constantly trying to get the information out to people, to destigmatize it, even when the making of the video making itself is so traumatic for you. I have so much empathy for you and everyone that suffers from DID disorders, or just hurting in general.
Also on a side note, your hair color/style makes your eyes pop more naturally somehow ❤