Chaotic facts for the video today: Filmed with a potato? Yes. Regretted my lashes? Yes 😂 Story goes: our camera will finally be fixed as of January 🥳 so let’s hope the quality will be better in the next vid or so! As for the lashes, Ed did makeup with me and then was like “let’s put lashes on” and gave me a go... cue me freaking out because I had put one on and didn’t like it, tried to take it off only for it to be stuck to my actual eye lashes 😂 didn’t know if there was a way to take it off without removing ALL of the make up, so I just gave up and stuck on the other one... thankfully not as glued onto my eye lashes as the other! Ed wanted to darken the make up to match the lashes more but by this point I had flapped so much he was done with me 😂 and I was done with him... We’re still very much a work in progress! 🙈
😫 my son is 7 almost 8 and we are going through the process of trauma therapy, his bio mom put him through more in the first 2 years of his life than I could ever imagine in a lifetime, he has shown plenty of signs and as I watch you all I see things more clearly and I thank you all for educating others, because this momma is desperate for him to get the proper love and help so he can thrive, because right now he is struggling 😭 I love you all so much I can’t even put it all into words 🙏🏼❤️
You’re doing an amazing job 🥺💖 by being there through his struggles and teaching him how to process his emotions and feelings you’ll help I do so much hurt - sending you our love and best wishes xx
Being honest I want to show this to our mom and say “HA! KIDS CAN HAVE DID!” (We are in a 12 y/o’s body and our mom doesn’t believe we have DID) -Logan, Maya, Zack
You are a wonderful mom for getting him the help he needs. I did trauma therapy as an adult, and it has majorly helped the way I respond and cope with the world around me. I will always struggle, but for me it is no longer a life disrupting issue and more something that I can actively work at while living my life and achieving the goals that I want out of my life.
Short answer: It doesn't matter "how much" trauma a person has experienced. ANY amount of trauma is bad. That's like asking how many bones do you need to break in your legs before you can't walk anymore... The answer should be obvious.
Ever heard of micro fractures? (I don’t mean to bash down on your example, but people can walk on a broken leg. It’s a matter of how tolerant you are of the pain).
@@anderssondyke9919 But if what caused the microfracture keeps on happening, if it doesn't get time to heal, then it becomes a break. And to step out of a metaphor, even if a child doesn't develop DID, there's also OSDD, C-PTSD, and PTSD, among other side effects. But yes, I think your point is the point of this video - that it depends, and some people are naturally more resilient/tolerant in the face of trauma, or have better support networks that allow them to bounce back better. A microfracture in one person that heals up just fine because they got proper treatment and rest will be a break in someone with brittle bones, or further trauma that prevents healing or causes more damage. (sorry, that got a bit rambly)
@@anderssondyke9919 Yeah, people can walk on a broken leg, and I guess it's what the example was about. We can stand different injuries and still be able to move, but every injury needs to be cured. And yeah, we have different pain tolerance, so it's wrong to downplay somebody's pain. I think it's what Rial Vestro wanted to say.
Another ACE that isn't commonly talked about is early school trauma. Often times, what happens at school never makes it back to the parents, and even someone who has a good home life is susceptible to trauma that might be hidden for years to come until it starts affecting how one functions in adult life. Rare way to end up as a system, but like Jess said, sometimes life just happens.
@@MultiplicityAndMe I'm kind of used to it. They arent as bad as they used to be but its a battle. They accept i have symptoms but won't take any responsibility. I just keep a cautious distance, put on "emotional armour" as my psychologist calls it, when I interact with them. I just wish I could be open with them.
we relate super hard to that bit about gaslighting 😕 the parents don't even believe we even have D.I.D, haha. even though we've been dx'ed professionally, for a little over 2 years, now. stay strong 🖤🖤🖤 -Natalie
I will say it until I have no breath left: never let your pain invalidate someone else’s pain. Pain and trauma are not a competition and if you are someone who deals with emotional or physical pain, use that to inform how you care for others. I adore your videos and your beautiful system.
Thank you!! And yes that’s so very true! Appreciate that we’ve all had different battles and some of us may have been affected, that’s all people need to know
I agree completely! My/our older brother has made several remarks about how his elementary school trauma - which he has not once elaborated upon in any way, shape, or form to myself/ourselves nor either of our parents, other than that, though caused him to be a system as well - was so much worse than the years of repeated trauma that I/we endured all throughout seventh through twelfth grade - which our emotional, physical, and sexual protectors, and gatekeeper/manager alters more or less got us through, alongside our persecutor or caretaker twin alters that it prompted to come into being - out of homophobia over me and me alone at the time amongst the alters within our system - the seemingly only host alter of our system that we have ever had - being gay that he knows very little about...from the very little I told my parents before they began crying...from the very little that I am emotionally detached from rather than amnesiac towards - plus who only knows, besides maybe our gatekeeper but definitely our child alter, about the trauma he, our child alter, faced that actually caused our system to form in the first place - because all he seems to do to any of us when any of us interact with him is gaslight us... Never compare your trauma, or lack there of, to another's; just listen and support, or leave!
as a teen, myself and some friends thought we had spirit companions, or something like a spirit being. mine was deemed evil and harmful so he had to be killed. I was never the same after that. it's been 20 years and I still feel some kind of empty. is my pain valid? I mean, if I was an fictive alter in a system who's mom got killed by a monster my pain would be valid
@@MultiplicityAndMe t respectfully disagree with you saying How WE deal with our Trauma decides if we have DID. Am I misunderstanding? My Ace is 8/10 and should be 9/10 had they been Prosecuted. From reading the comments people are not understanding. They are saying sleeping in the dark or riding a Rollercoaster can cause DID. That is Completely WRONG!
@@shatteredbones1048 the video explains it 😅 everyone’s perception and window of tolerance is different. Toxic stress comes in many forms and there isn’t any research to describe HOW MUCH trauma someone needs (that would be a very unethical study). Take a car crash; why can some people get back in the car the next day but others may never be able to drive again? That’s why. Trauma affects us all differently and the outcome of that is unique.
I go to an alternative charter school, and everyone has to take the ACES test as part of the onboarding process. That way all the teachers can be trauma informed. They also have you fill out paperwork asking if you're okay with being hugged, or if you'd rather not be touched at all. It's a great school and I wish all were like this.
My school does this too, but they make the parents fill out how the child feels, and having bad parents fill out the test for me, I don't have a chance
I never thought a school could do that! That absolutely awesome! I so much wished my school was like that, then I could have been maybe treated better. I didn't had that much of a bad school life, but some teachers sure did a negative impact on my mental health, because they didn't know how I felt and thought it was laziness or they were pushing me to do things I couldn't do. Still, I'm really happy there are such great schools like yours! (in that departement at least)
I took the test and got 4, but I found it irritating that the question regarding sexual trauma specified they had to be 5 years older at minimum. Someone doesn’t need to be 5 years older than you to abuse you, this disregards child on child SA
I completely agree that it doesn't need to be that span of years, but I wonder if it's because, at a certain age gap, the child thinks they are more of a caregiver than a peer or friend. Does that make sense? It was just a thought.
As a victim of child on child SA, I thank you for this comment. For years and years and years I felt my sexual assault “didn’t count” because it was my brother who is only two years older than me and we were both children at the time. I was just the first of many children, he has a history of offenses. I didn’t tell anyone about it until I was 20 years old because I spent so long feeling invalid. We’re all valid.❤️
@@tori_19 It was our cousin and he was only 2.5 years older. He also has a history and while him doing things to my sister was taken seriously because of their age gape it wasn't taken seriously in my case. At least my therapist takes it seriously and my fiance so finally have support but really wish I had when I was younger.
That is disturbing. I was sexually assaulted for 6 years by a brother only 1.5 years older than me. It was always violent, and always unwanted and I always fought. It gave me repeated nightmares over and over as a pre-teen. It caused me to always ensure I was not alone, I became responsible for ensuring my brother and father did not kill each other by staying silent. The fear was palpable every day. I locked myself in my bedroom at every opportunity. I ran away from home by taking a scholarship. I held the secret for 15 years more. I lived with panic attacks, bulimia, self abuse, and survived a subsequent abuser. Whoever created that ACE test that claims sibling abuse is not a sexual trauma that counts must have an extremely limited understanding. It's unbelievable really. I'm shocked.
My score is 0 and I realize it is a privilege to not have childhood trauma. And despite the fact that growing up was f*cking hard, I am acknowledging the difference between pain and trauma. And I am so grateful for always having love and learning how to live with painful experiences and find healing. Thank you for this video!
Thank you for saying that. Too often today I find people are over claiming the “trauma” tag when it doesn’t apply to them. I’m not saying you life was easy or you’ve had it all on a silver platter, far from it, but trauma is different than that and it makes it very hard to be taken seriously and get the appropriate medical and psychological when people are constantly minimising real trauma. I hope things have gotten better for you now that you’re a little older! 🖤
@@AlexisGraceMusic on the other side though, and not invalidating your experiences, but who defines a trauma if it’s all about how it makes you feel? As Jess said in the video, the brain decides what is too much.
@@AlexisGraceMusic wait you wouldn't know if it applies to them though LOL because something that doesn't seem traumatic to you can absolutely be traumatic to somebody with different brain chemistry. There's absolutely no way for you to know what applies to another person as trauma or not. There's no way for you to know that unless it's you. Yikes... Also "real truama"? Yikes sis. Don't do that. I've been raped and beaten. It was traumatic. But also someone who may have had mentally abusive parents ALSO have trauma. Everyones truama is valid. Big or small. This is coming from someone who's worked in mental health over 15 years. I'm not trying to be mean but everything that you are saying is misinformation and quite frankly it's harmful as well. It's not a contest..... Your truama isn't more important or more real than someone else's just because YOU think its more traumatic. Let's not do that. It all depends on the person, their brain chemistry, they're living situation, what mental health challenges they deal with and so so many more things. Different people deal with trauma different. I can't even believe you said "real truama" 🤷🏻♀️😬
@@Amy-oh8qb just because you didn't experience sexual assault or physical or mental abuse doesn't mean that you didn't have trauma growing up. Trauma is different to every single person little or small it's all valid and it can all affect someone in a different way I feel like nobody watched this video that's kind of the whole point of it. All I'm saying is just because you weren't sexually assaulted or beaten whatever trauma that your brain identified as trauma is still very valid I was raped by a group of guys when I was 14 and my entire young adult life I kind of just ignored it. I tried to make it a personality trait and became a sex worker because in my mind if I called myself a slut then nobody else could call me a slut right? It wasn't until I was around 29 or 30 that it really really started manifesting and started bothering me. I just started seeing therapy for myself recently and it really is helping a lot. I hope you can get the same help. I can give you resources if you need them for your area
At my job(mental health facility) we did "Trauma informed care" trainings and they had us complete the ace score, then discussed issue that can happen due to certain scores (including high blood pressure!). I knew my childhood wasn't good but I didn't realize how bad it was until others at my table were discussing their 1 or 2 and I was at a 7 and was so glad the subject got changed. It was a very very interesting training and I'm so glad people are starting to do these trainings more broadly throughout jobs, some not even related to mental health.
@@MultiplicityAndMe unfortunately I found the test really unhelpful :( It just seemed WAY too simplistic for me, to the point it was bordering on invalidating. Love you all and your channel btw 💖
@@neutrallynonsensical3477 I don't know if that can help you, but I've learned about schema therapy with my psycologist and it's really more complexe and very detailed! Maybe it can be something that can help you in any way or at least, interest you.
Putting this out there for anyone who needs to hear it: I have mild to moderate OCD, and recently, my therapist and I have been working through its relation to childhood trauma. My ACE score is 2. Even mild trauma can impact you. It's sometimes hard for me to face trauma because I don't think I've been traumatized enough, and I feel ungrateful or whiny to acknowledge the trauma that did exist. If it's constant, even small traumas have an impact, and even if you have one traumatic experience that impacts you, it's okay to seek out help for it. You're not wasting people's time.
I feel you. I have anxiety induced insomnia and mild agoraphobia. I typically don't consider myself to be someone who carries a lot of trauma from my childhood, then when I took the ACE test I was somewhat surprised to find that I had a score of 6. I didn't expect it to be so high because there are people that I knew growing up who faced worse trauma than I did and I would always consider their problems worse than my own and discount my own past. I didn't think that it mattered because it "wasn't as bad as it could have been."
I was about to say "I'm host of a system and I took the quiz and only ticked off 3, how can I have a dissociative disorder??" then I remembered that the whole point of this thing is that I don't know about it lol
Same, i don’t know if I don’t know about trauma, underplaying the part i know or just don’t have more. 3 is still enough for having DID, the list they provided is not all encompassing- as they said, it’s more about how a child perceives the situation.
It's hella confusing isn't it? I think I might have it but people act like I probably don't have it because I don't *look* like I have it, and it'd have developed early. And I'm like... well of course I wouldn't look like it, I would be the one who isn't supposed to know anything. I just know I keep dissociating and have major blanks in my life and regular amnesic episodes. I 'only' got 6, but 1 is far too much for any kid to have without proper support really. I'm sorry you went through this. I'm glad you at least know you have it though, you're a little bit closer to healing if you know some more about what you're contending with, even if you don't know the details of why.
I took the quiz and, honestly, it's kinda bad... It doesn't make any questions about school, for eg. But even IF it was accurate about the n° of ACEs, that still is a very shallow description of some's story, it says nothing about how severe the events where and how many times they happend, and so many things there's not space for me to mention haha ps.: also yeah, "trauma is what happens within us, not to us" (Gabor Mate)
My score was 7. I unexpectedly ran into my mother, source of my trauma, and we got onto the topic of mental health and my therapy progress. I explained this video to her and she said it made a huge impact on her and how she never realized just how her own childhood trauma has affected her, and in turn, her family and children. (Aint that intergenerational abuse just a bish?) She let me know shes making an appt for some help. While I no longer have a close relationship with her and am still working through my PTSD therapy, I'm happy for her and wished her well. Trying to make an impact on her was not my goal. Just being honest and being brave in front of my abuser was enough. So, thank you ❤ I dont think I could have communicated this information in such an easy to understand way with out your video.
@@reneemitchell4281 you’re very welcome! I genuinely thought that you deserve to be reminded of how brave that was and how much strength it took to be able to look at someone that had hurt you so deeply in the face and be kind
That sounds like a card in memberships. Like "for ten stamps you got a free dessert* but instead its like for ten traumas you got a DID that you never asked for. But hey, you did a great job. Helped me get to know you and people with DID better, love your education
Not any sort of expert, but if you're just naturally really prone to dissociating it might just take less to trigger that sort of mental response. But you are valid and all that, and just because your trauma doesn't seem "that bad" when compared to other things you have heard about, doesn't mean it wasn't enough to F you up. As resilient as humans are, we are also pretty fragile.
I totally feel this! I think I might have OSDD but I have a great support system as in my mom and my dad a little less but he loves me and tries really hard, so that makes me feel like it can't be because I did have a safety net and still have.
It's interesting that the ages that a Dissociative disorder can develop is older then it was even when I started learning about this all. Science is always changing though so, makes sense.
I'm guessing this implies that the cut-off point is different for everyone, and could theoretically extend past the believed 6-9 years old for some people, I imagine particularly neurodivergent people. If the brain isn't fully merged, then surely it could end up never fully merging, regardless of the age of the individual. The way alters "develop" is that the separate ego states of the brain cannot fully merge, due to internal conflict caused primarily by chronic trauma. So it's not so much that DID develops as it is that a neurotypical brain CAN'T develop, thus leaving one in a state with multiple separate states of consciousness.
okay, dissociative disorders can be developed at any age. but DID/OSDD1 are only possibly developed before age 9 (average age of natural integrative development, stopping this is what causes DID/OSDD1). there are more dissociative disorders than those, such as derealisation/depersonalisation disorder
My parents love to tell me how they were massively abused in the 60s and 70s and how they don't have DID, and then continue to fight saying I should remember what happened to me. I dunno.
Nicely put, "trauma olympics". The psychiatrists didn't take it seriously and said that our childhood experiences wouldn't be severe enough to cause a trauma response and not even create a ptsd. After just one week in the closed psychiatric unit, one week without any kind of therapy, they placed me in a nursing home. They are nice here, but I am here w/o therapy. I don't have any idea what I should do bc I know I need help. It's not improved.
I don’t know which breaks my soul more. The fact that you experienced CSA or that you weren’t properly soothed and cared for after Idk the details enough to claim it is or isn’t a caregiver’s fault it happened(wether they were negligent to put you in a bad situation or if they were decent people just tricked/fooled)but the idea that they didn’t properly help you AFTER the fact just kills me inside
Thank you for the sympathy 💐 I suppose something I could add is that some people cope in their own ways, and sometimes those ways just aren’t the best to children who need a different kind of response (ie warmth and comfort as opposed to shame and coldness)
@@MultiplicityAndMe I can understand and empathize with a caregiver feeling traumatized as well and not having the best response, but I could never imagine not spending every minute of every day ensuring the child it 1000% is not the child’s fault. Sure there might be some shame naturally felt on the caregiver but I can’t imagine how they could feel shame towards anyone but the abuser or even themselves(if they feel they failed as a caregiver when they genuinely were a solid caregiver and a monster just snuck in with minimal red flags) It just breaks my heart knowing there are children who experience some of the worst things imaginable and don’t even get the bare minimum of love, understanding and bone crushing hugs from their caregivers 😞
@@amandamoore7512 It is a difficult balance as the survivor with the CSA if still close to the care givers. I recognise mine were semi forced by family to hide trauma. I even recognise that they were failed when they asked for help cos I'm a little older than Jess and the system. Some of the services that could have helped were poorly regulated/created back then. Caregivers like mine can soothe at the time but not let the child fully react to what happened and fail to understand the PTSD that follows. I don't have DiD but I struggle hard with dissociation and emotional regulation. The more I have learnt through the system's videos the more it has helped me to address my family/community.
@@Firegen1 I am pretty much in the same situation & from the same background as you. It's rough going through trying to heal. I feel very fragmented, but when I lose time, it's not to other alters or anything (I don't have DID). The hard part is really feeling the hurt you need to process, & by contrast knowing you should have felt so much love. And that is reason enough for why you're suffering now. At some point, healing stops being about processing past pain & managing the shock of it. It becomes about expanding your capacity for self love. For all the situations you became traumatized, a good therapist can listen & repair that (soothe) & gain more trust from parts of you, thus helping you to feel again what it would've been to have been loved properly in that moment (irrespective of if it was someone's fault or not). It's very love-based. It's a powerful force. I struggle to feel it & think I deserve it.
apparently, i have three. doesn't completely surprise me. my best guess at the exact three would be emotional abuse, emotional neglect and general ill health (mental and physical). it makes sense to me. probably why i have an alter whos basically the parent i wish i had lol. my original alters hit like,, everything i needed as a child. a best friend, someone there to cuddle, someone to take care of my bumps and scrapes and sickness, someone who could fight anyone that hurt me. i've split a few more times since quarantine, (a little and a drama queen, both fictives) but that makes sense to me as i've done a fair amount of trauma processing over the lockdown. take care jess & co., your videos have meant a lot to all of us!
someone here mentioned an ACE quiz and I checked it out and it just reminded me how frustrated I am with what the understood distinction for CSA is. it describes it as an adult or someone 5 years older being the assailant but we don't discount or diminish the experience of teenagers and adults assaulted by people there own age so I don't see why it should be that way for children. being assaulted by a childhood friend the same age as you can be JUST as traumatic especially when you trust and rely on them heavily. It's just been hard as someone who has been through that kind of trauma and been ignored to see once again my experience not validated. (I also disliked that it focuses so heavily on inside the home because i know a lot of people who faced most of their trauma outside the home.)
It also doesn't account for sexual trauma unrelated to CSA, which I have :') and was reluctant to call sexual trauma for a long time, but... it's trauma. related to sexual stuff. So... sexual trauma.
Hello I took the ACEs test and I feel comfortable sharing that I got a score of 8. Too whoever needs it sending my love ❤️! Remember to wear your crown proudly and keep your head held high because you deserve the world!
TL;DR: Brains are unique. It can differ not only from culture to culture, but also from person to person. Trauma is subjective and therefore, to a degree, doesn’t matter because pain is pain. 💜
I always thought it was weird that my therapist said I have symptoms of trauma. But because my trauma wasn't one if the main 2 people talk about I thought it didn't count. But from this I have 4-5. And somehow that makes my mental health problems feel more valid. Thank you.
I agree, I took the test as well and scored either a 4 or 6, depending on how honest I was with myself. It feels weird to be so honest with myself about how traumatic my childhood was, when one therapist told me I had post traumatic stress I didnt believe him.
Our other host always repeats how "trauma isn't an event, it's a reaction in a person"...like in case of DID, there are literal differences in the brain and nerve systems, so what happened isn't quite the question, but what the outcome is. I mean in terms of if someone has DID or any trauma related disorder. If they have symptoms of the disorder, they have the disorder, and after that comes a time when they may be ready to start to learn what lead to it. Most people with trauma diagnosis we know started from the point,where they thought they had no trauma or it wasn't severe enough. Especially with DID, it's whole point of disorder to HIDE trauma and that ANP parts aren't aware of it, so luckily who ever wrote the diagnostic criteria of DID, left out the word trauma from it and concentrated to the symptoms.
Every time I see Multiplicity has responded to someone in the comments it genuinely warms my heart that they're taking time to listen to us and even respond to us
I'm not sure why it did, but this video just made two major puzzlepieces click together in my brain.. I have basically been feeling shit for 2 decades. I have struggled with depression, negative selftalk and addictive behaviour for as long as I can remember and never understood why I can't just stop being a dick to myself, why i can't just let go of addictions.. I think I get it now.. When I was a kid I was severely bullied by two girls at my school - I was beaten, mentally abused and blackmailed into doing things I didn't want to do (such as unlocking the toiletdoor so said girls could get in to beat me up, because if I didn't then they'd tell the other students specific things about me), hunted around the school, basically put down in any sort of way they could think of.. My ability to stand up for myself was nonexisting.. But how does a young kid then cope with that sort of abuse? How do they cope with not standing up for themself? By starting to belive that the things said and done to them is what they deserve.. I have unknowingly continued their bullying all the way up to the age of 30 fucking years, because I have had to come up with some sort of way of justifying why I didn't stand up for myself. And I have actively let myself become addicted to things that put me further and further down causing me more and more pain mentally in the long run, while cleverly making me feel less pain in the short. Basically I am constantly making excuses for NOT standing up for myself just like when I was 7 years old and too scared to do so. I think it's about time I start un-believing the things they said about me and start standing up for myself.
I love that we’ve been able to click some things in place for you! 💪🏻 processing something like that must be very hard, but we hope it helps you to reach where you want to be! Best of luck!
I got about 4 and that’s not including being undiagnosed Autistic during childhood and fearing shouting and unpredictable school experiences and bullying from teachers and classmates and not knowing how to cope with adverse sensory feedback. One example is I had a pair of school shoes that really hurt and my feet felt burnt wearing them in summer but I always thought I just had to put up with stuff and couldn’t change things that I didn’t feel comfortable with.
I used to think my abuse wasnt severe enough to be called trauma bc my mom (my abuser) had it worse than me. But it definitely is trauma, which im still working on getting through. Thank you for your videos, they are really important to me 💖
my ACE score was 7. it brought up a lot of feelings and anxiety for me to think about how much trauma i’ve endured but i’ll be okay. another great video ♡ thank you.
I've always wondered why I seem to be more fucked up than my brothers who grew up in precisely the same household, with the same parents, even if I had completely different experiences. Even my mum brought up that I'm so mentally screwed up yet my brothers are "okay-ish". The window of tolerance explains a lot. EDIT: ACE Results are 7. Dammit. No wonder I can't remember a majority of my childhood.
Absolutely! We have a friend with DID and BPD who is a twin who went through the same experiences, really horrific experiences... but her twin is completely fine... it really goes to show
I just love seeing that there are people out there who actually care. Where I grew up mental illness were looked down upon and considered fake and I just love knowing that any mental illness is considered valid here. Love the work you guys are doing!💕
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ I don’t know why I have no idea why I feel so useless worthless and pathetic.. I don’t know why I feel like I have a system why I’m crying right now or why I cant sleep... When looking back at my childhood all I remembered was how much my parents loved me and cared for me but than why do I feel so freaking awful,, I can’t remember what happened exactly I think I used to get beaten up a little by mom but her love and affection should’ve made up for it, maybe sometimes she used to call me mean things and used to ground me.. I have no idea why I hate myself soo much that I wanna die.. I feel like there are other mes cuz i dont wanna die other times and “i” dont hate myself i dont remember my childhood fully,, but i think a little me “fonted” yesterday because it remembered how our house looked like and wanted to play toys it looked soo happy than why do i feel so worthless? could it be she got nice treatment and me bad? than why the f*ck do i not remember anything other than distress and anxiety? i also remember kinda getting treated differently and not being able to do much stuff cuz i had scoliosis and other minor issues so my parents were overprotective and i couldnt do sports for my safety and couldn’t do stuff other kids did one part of my life looks amazing loving parents and lot of fun but the other is just blurry and sad... i dont connect to all my memories either, i just dont believe i have childhood trauma cause i only started having worse reactions after being forcefully outed and that happened when i was 13.. “the other mes say” i have bad memory and exist mostly in stressful times and deal with worst stuff what worst stuff mom screaming? my other friends used to get beat up wayy worse and they dont have trauma. i just dont want to fake this stuff but at the same time the others seem kinda real,, i may just not remember some of the bad stuff.. can anyone help me? my childhood seems just too good but than again why am i so worthless and vulnerable? could I have real alters? sorry for the looong rant/vent (i also had everything as a child: toys food etc, but i missed out a thing, my parents fought a lot) -Daki edit: as a separate thing i feel unloved i kinda feel like other me was loved and not me i always feel like everyone hates me
I fought for the longest time against my PTSD diagnosis, because my dad served in the war and has it, and I didn't think I had been traumatized enough to share the same diagnosis. But you echoed something one of my therapist's once said, "everyone processes life differently. What you went through felt like a war, so it your reaction was valid." That kid of thinking has honestly made dealing with PTSD a lot easier. 💚 🎗
I feel that the aces test is a little inaccurate, only because it mainly just says “a parent or household member” if the test didn’t specify that I’d have a much higher score but, I suppose like it says, it’s not a 100% accurate tool.
Yeah it doesn't include things that weren't a part of the immediate family, which many more children have experienced trauma separate from familial trauma, including myself. If the test wasn't limited to just within the immediate household, I'd have at least 4 or 5.
It also asked "mother or stepmother" for the domestic violence question when it was my father who had most of the abuse, so that doesn't quite sit right with me either. :(
I finally opened up to my therapist about me having people inside my head, it actually happend this morning. I had my first emdr session and i was scared as hell. And for some reason is just start talking about them and it felt so incredibly good to finally tell someone. I'm not saying I have DID there is no prove it could be anything I just stick with a really big fantasy until we know what it is, if it is something . I just want to say that your videos help a lot and are really comforting. Also sorry for my really bad English. I'm from the Netherlands. Normally I'm really good at English but I'm super tired right now
I'm 55 years old with PTSD MDD and you just taught me something about myself that therapists have never taught or showed me.! Now I know why I react the way I do & why my personality is always on hyper arousal I take medications & even now I've been in years of therapy & have NEVER known WHY or WHAT hyper arousal is! I was just saying last night how I know & am aware that my personality is so loud extra constantly stressed & everything I do or say is so fast and loud and I'm stressed and full of anxiety 24/7. Keep in mind I'm disabled with a bone disease and I'm home bound so I know I drive everyone here at the house crazy.. Actively working on not being so anxiety riddled . This just really helped me thank you so much!
I’m so glad we were able to help Colleen! Honestly psychoeducation is so very important and we’ve healed more in knowing how and *why* we’re doing the things we’re doing than if we weren’t educated on it at all... I hope to do more on the window of tolerance in future but please do go ahead and research what you need to in the meantime 😊
@@MultiplicityAndMe I will & thank you so much!. You guys are helping so many ppl all over the world , I'm sure. That's got to be a great feeling!.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ You guys are a gift to so many & I'm excited about learning more!
You say you regret your lashes, but I just wanna say that I loved how the makeup colors were matchy-matchy with your shirt 🥰 That kind of stuff really tickles my OCD fancy
I know it’s not sympathy you seek but I genuinely feel so bad for you because I know that I have suffered a little trauma and that was traumatic for me and just knowing that people have suffered more than me makes me so sad to think about ❤️❤️❤️
Adults can’t fix everything. But they truly can make a big difference. When I was six I watched my mom being taken to the “hospital” because she was “sick”. (She was suicidal and delusional.) My big sister was my “other mom”. Our grandmothers alternated staying with us. My dad spent extra time with us. An excellent support system! Only one problem: I was terrified that mom was gone forever, while everyone was pretending everything was fine. I was afraid to rock the boat by asking questions, so I pretended too. One night we had a delicious dinner of roast chicken with apple cake for dessert. Later I threw it all up. (I couldn’t eat either of those foods for years after.) It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized I didn’t have a 24 hour bug: I was sick because I had stuffed too much fear. (In NO way do I blame my family for this.) When mom came home after ten days I was terrified of going to school - she might disappear again. I believe the way it was handled mostly resolved things. Mom and the school counselor talked. Then he called me in and told me that any time I needed to talk to mom, I had permission to leave the classroom - without explanation - and come to his office and call mom on his phone. One day I was feeling anxious and did it. I guess my teacher was clued in too, because it worked exactly as I was told it would. The relief when I heard mom’s voice! I never needed to do it again. I’ve still struggled with abandonment issues many times since; but I suspect they would have been a LOT worse if the adults hadn’t stepped in.
I'm not surprised that I got an 8. What did surprise me were the amount of memories that came up when answering the questions. I took about 45 minutes taking the test. Carefully remembering each time something happened. The amount of times each of these things happened was staggering. I go out of my way to not pick apart my childhood. I don't trust people with my memories, including therapists. So I haven't been to one. This test was extremely uncomfortable to take. Which also surprised me. I'm very good at not opening the locked boxes in my head. I still have trust issues and I still bottle things up. This being said. I am a mostly happy adult. I'm in a healthy marriage (my 24th anniversary is in 3 days). And more than anything, I have done everything in my power to take care of my children's physical and mental health. It stops with me! We aren't our abusers. And we don't have to keep the cycle going. And above all, we are worthy of happiness and love. We were also worthy of the love and support we didn't get as children.
Thank you for making this. Our system appreciates having a new understanding of why some of us feel like we haven't been hurt enough to have OSDD, causing imposter syndrome. We're working on the acceptance of the fact that our problems are problems
I've experienced five of the ACEs, but the ones that impacted me the most were the physical and emotional abuses. That was at a time where I was old enough to know what was going on, but still young enough that it all sunk in easily, so it left me with a ton of mental issues that I'm still working through to this day.
This video is getting me thinking... i so often say "ahh nooo there was only a little trauma i have no real reason to complain" but also while taking the test the emphasis on "but how did you feel?" makes a real difference. I still feel as tho it is not reaaally valid to be stressed about that stuff but i know i should recognize it as enough. Its just feels difficult to do that.
this video boldly demonstrates circumstances, reasoning, and window of tolerance that causes DID. the ACES we endured from 6 months old to just 13 Physical, emotional, CSA, neglect, substance abuse, domestic violence (witnessing and victim ourselves), young caretaker, and criminal exploitation. the brain did not have a window of tolerance due to lack of nurture and comfort from parents/adults, as they WERE the cause of this trauma. the ones bold and brazen who say 'the trauma you have is exaggerated how can you have DID-' there is a very important line in this 'your perception of how bad that persons' trauma was is irrelevant"
My window of tolerance is so tiny, it’s exhausting. I can’t do anything, any change sends me into panic mode. I’m in the middle of a move right now and it feels like Hell...
I'm sorry. Moving itself is VERY difficult. In fact, people put it up there with loss of a loved one and/or divorce as far as stressful events go. I hope everything goes well for you ❤️
@@JulEnglefaris thank you so much for you kind comment! This winter really was one of the hardest times in my life, and that move went to badly. I'm all settled in now, and the stress has significantly gone down 😊
Researcher side-note: thanks for explaining the difference between evidence that - proves a *causal* link between A and B, and - strong *association* between A and B And that some things that we have strong *association* evidence for are just too unethical to test for a *causal* link. E.g. we'll never actually prove that smoking causes cancer, because we're so confident in its association to cancer that we'd never conduct the necessary trial to prove it (which would involve asking a sample of non-smoking participants to start smoking and then see how many of them get cancer).
My parents: *suggests that i have DID for the last 10 years* Also my parents: *refuse to acknowledge my childhood trauma was "bad enough" to ever develop DID* LOL crazy. I wish i could send them this vid but i know it would lead to gaslighting.
They dont want to believe anything bad happened ,i realize ive done that too my adult daughter because i cant handle accepting i couldnt protect her ,cant accept she went thru stuff ,ive wked thru it with her ,i just thought i would share that with you .❤
I don’t have DID, however I have been diagnosed with BPD and PTSD with dissociative episodes. I suffered through childhood trauma and neglect. I am glad people like you continue to educate others about serious mental illness in a light hearted way, and encourage people to get the help they need. I’m great full I found an amazing psychologist and psychiatrist to help me deal with my issues.
This was so good!! You are such a fantastic educator on these topics and so well informed. Was Jamie close when you filmed this? I thought I heard his voice poke through a couple of times!
I was gonna mention this too, knowing Jamie has poor eyesight. The way Jess keeps widening her eyes and doing long blinks reminds me of the way I strain my eyes when I'm not wearing my glasses.
@@MultiplicityAndMe well the pair of you (+ whoever else was involved in the production!) did a bloody fantastic job! All the best and congrats on the new job! ❤
Childhood the most likely time to develop DID. Typically for adults, ptsd and c-ptsd is more likely. I has to do with brain development. Not to say that DID can't develop later, but it seems less likely in an adult. At least that how it seems to me.
Thank you thank you thank you SO much for this video. As a newer system who is still trying to figure out life as a system and how to cope on a daily basis your channel the last few months has truly been a lifeline for us. Especially since our biggest struggle has been the constant worry of "if we had been traumatized enough" or "if we were overreacting" and such... Your channel truly is a blessing more then you know. So with the highest sincerity and appreciation... Thank you all. - Danny and the Willow System
So much love for this video. This is a message I definitely need to get better at believing. Not that I doubt my OSDD, but I can sometimes feel like it was my fault for developing my disorders because maybe if I wasn't a really sensitive person then I would have turned out "normal". It's always nice to be validated in that.
I dissociated a lot (not like DID but for example during flashbacks) and I told my therapist about it and they told me that my trauma wasn’t valid enough. I know that I shouldn’t believe them but they have really been giving me more trust issues. I’m now (I don’t go there anymore) too afraid to talk about anything because all I ever hear is that my trauma isnt ‘enough’ I have been diagnosed with PTSD when I was 8. Thank you for these videos they make me feel really safe💕
So sorry you were invalidated. Shame on that therapist. Hope he's not a therapist anymore and instead selling rocks on the side of the road. Your trauma is valid. Flashbacks suck. I hear you. I believe you.
I recently got diagnosed with ptsd with a strong possibility of complex ptsd... So when my therapist mentioned it (I've been subscribed for over 2 years) I immediately thought of you and your channel! Your information on DID and other mental health diagnosis made me understand the therapists explanation of ptsd so much easier! Love to you all xxxx
I have 3 and I do think my BPD and other mental health diagnosis goes hand in hand with Trauma and also my genetics. Mood issues run in my family as well. I don't think I would have as many issues if I didnt have trauma growing up. But I could be wrong of course lol
This is such an important video. I feel like so many times people compare their experiences to others when in reality comparing two people can be like comparing an apple and an orange. I've seen this outside of the discussion of trauma and extended to mental illness overall and it's so important to understand that what other people are experiencing or have experienced does not negate or invalidate your experience.
Trigger warning for safety, potential CSA mention: I took the quiz and my honest answer to the sexual abuse ones is "I don't know." My dad has a friend who went to prison for assaulting his kids and another who he tried to keep me away from because he was a "dirty old man." I also had to stop sleeping in my parents bed when I was five and couldnt wear shorts around him (my dad) growing up, so- I can remember very little of my childhood before the age of 13, and even from there to 17 is fuzzy sometimes. I'm almost 25 now.
Thank you for an extremely helpful video!!! I took the test and got an ACE score of 9. It was kind of saddening to see but I’m not really surprised. Anyway love the video as always 💞
I love and appreciate this so much. Even though I have 6+ trauma experiences or categories, I am always so self-critical & invalidating. It was very comforting and healing to hear someone else basically tell me that I am valid for having & suffering from my trauma-related disorders.
I think that's a caution for concern. You don't have to take the ACE test I'm pretty sure not remembering your childhood and youth is basically a sign, to go to a therapist.
What's normal to remember though? I probably have about 25 core memories from before I was 13. I had a good childhood though apart from my mum and dad splitting up due to my dad's alcoholism.
Videos on education, Insight, and and explanation for something like this... Is never "ridiculously long" though. Everything in here is helpful, and highly appreciated.
I would be really interested in seeing DID studies on populations with high levels of generational trauma and constant trauma. Such as parts of Africa and the Middle East. I’ve only seen DID in a western context. We have to remember that our idea of trauma is usually child abuse, accidents, sexual abuse, and other unusual events. But in some parts of the world, people are born into war zones or tortured for their whole existence. I’m not sure what would happen to a population if , say, the majority of people had DID. How would that society function? Or, perhaps the brain will not develop DID in a situation where everyone around them is experiencing the same trauma. Alters are created based on knowledge that the brain has of people. But if the only people you have ever encountered are victims like you, what kind of alters could even be made? It’s hard to say, since there isn’t enough research done. I’m really thinking of getting a degree and studying DID, because there just isn’t enough info out there smh.
My partner lives in the Middle East and grew up around lots of war/violence and was conscripted. That + abuse from home and school all growing up caused what we believe is DID. They aren’t able to safely see a therapist in their country. Like a lot of other systems they have at least one child alter that holds all the feelings and interests they held as a kid that they had to hide. Some others are from different ages as they grew up, so think alters splitting after they already established having a DID Brain. Then there are some that I assume embody either what they wished to do to others in retaliation or embodying their abuser(s). It’s just a really toxic person who wants to hurt others/push limits just for the hell of it. But whether it was them already having ASD and being more sensitive to trauma or generational trauma that mainly helped this develop but it’s probs both.
@@tabitha4048 First of all, I’m sorry to hear that they went through all of that. I wish them all the best in recovering from their trauma. Secondly, thank for you sharing. This is very insightful. It seems like their DID presents in the same way as many others do. I hope that researchers can look into DID and other mental health issues in that region and help people to heal. I actually studied the Middle East a lot in school. Between that and my interest in DID, I’m seriously considering doing this research to help people. Because no one else is. I wish you both all the best.
@@royce6485 that was such a kind reply, thank you. I’m studying psychology currently and the amount of colonization in the field is astounding. With DID specifically it’s painted as a rare occurrence, but when you think about how many even have access to being diagnosed you realize it’s probably a lot more. Considering that BIPOC in America have the most generational and lived trauma, with the least access to healthcare let alone psychiatry- the discrepancies are far too real to base conclusions off of. Coupled with it being a covert disorder and with symptoms that can be easily misdiagnosed as anxiety, C-PTSD, ADHD, borderline etc. it’s hard for me to even trust psychologists who say they “don’t believe it” bc of their shitty data. And the “therapist influence” thing is something I can see being a thing with new therapists especially. Their prompts are almost always guided questions pointing towards their own conclusion. But my symptoms trace back to early childhood, and the only way I remembered what happened to me as a kid was when a child alter who carried that trauma came out. My first suspicions of having it came during a time I wasn’t in therapy at all. So I really don’t know how they reach the conclusions that they do. And if they are correct I don’t know what other disorder could cause the experiences I have had.
In the middle east they would say you have the Juni (spirit) within you - people/families wouldn't be exposed to even know about DID> I'm not sure if they have acknowledged DID in the medical field in the Middle East.
25% of children in Compton, Los Angeles schools had experienced 2 or more "severe traumas", according to a major legal case conducted in 2014-2015. whole parts of the world and groups of ppl are carrying heavy, heavy trauma as a result of colonialism and war and forced impoverishment. i know a system whose formation was a result of generational trauma carried on from parents leaving a u.s. imperialized, war-stricken country to come live here, and its highly suspected a parent also was a system. children living in conditions of environmental racism within the states have *both* the compound traumas of that forced impoverishment *AND* any resulting physical, cognitive, or other impairment as a result of lacking access to clean water, or constant exposure to lead, radiation, etc. this shit is srs. unfortunately, the solution to this will not simply be "more trauma-informed care"--it's gotta be a complete UPHEAVAL of what this society is and does and how it addresses human need & the systemic, measurably destructive conditions that have been created since this planet was first colonized by europeans. also, the other systems i have met were victim survivors in the *states* who literally survived things like filmed CSA and s*x trafficking--in the states. often brought on by powerful members of their family, sometimes a direct parent. so don't think that "lifetime torture" is *only* happening in West Asia and the continent of Africa--in fact, it's far more likely that you're just *unaware* of the torture that some children *here* face, as a result of the same colonial white supremacist structure (the u.s. & western europe) that causes those conditions across the world.
Thank you - such a useful video! Haven’t taken the test yet, but just by what has come out in therapy- I have 5/6 ACEs... funny how you grow up thinking your childhood wasn’t great and then questioning if your trauma is ‘bad’ enough when you discover you might be a system.
Right? I hear so many people invalidate their trauma because “it wasn’t enough” (us included!) and it takes some doing to remind ourselves that this was enough for us and this is why we’re the way we are... I hope this video helps bring some comforts to some folks out there who may be feeling the same
Fascinates me that our brains actually rewire themselves to cope, and that, although it often seems maladaptive, it’s done to protect us. Survival comes first.
Hey, I'm Dylan, and I'm a part of a system. We've just recently discovered your channel, and we enjoy your content very much (or, well, most of us anyways, XD). Since you were so brave in sharing your ACEs, we have agreed to tell you (and the world, I guess) that we have experienced over 4. We're quiet up there, actually. Thank you for making these videos educating people, it is very appreciated. Keep up the good work!
What an important and educational topic to cover! I really enjoyed the video, I try to be knowledgeable about mental health but it can be hard to keep track of everything, your videos really present all the facts in such a clear way that it makes it much easier to learn the basics so I can go and do further research myself. Also I keep forgetting to comment this but I adore the wallpaper in the background of your videos, its very classy and interesting!
Thank you M&M for another fantastically educational video! This is such an important topic to talk about, and as all of your videos are, it's extremely well done. Lots of love! -Kai&Co
I'm DID, C-PTSD, Social Anxiety, OCD, & Major Depressive Disorder & have a history of severe school bullying, family violence & ab*se, & organized criminal child ab*se. I also moved around a lot because of my family & coped with severe allergies & asthma. I'm an only child & had no safe adult growing up. I was hurt from age 2 years to my teen years.
I would be thrilled to see longer videos! I wouldn’t mind if videos were 30 minutes, at all. Maybe you could do a poll. Hope you all have a great Holiday and New Years! ☮️&💟
My trauma was just so normalized to me that it didn't even feel like trauma, but now I see it and it's fucked up. I thought it was normal, I hated it but thought it happened to everyone :/
I'm so glad you made a video about this topic. It's something I've wondered before because my mother went through some horrifying traumas as a child (around the time frame & age cut off for likelihood of developing DID) but to my knowledge, she doesn't have DID. But also, this helped me understand why even when my sister and I experienced the same emotional abuse & neglect (among other aces) in our childhoods, she doesn't really see it as a traumatic experience that has hindered her psychologically in any way, where I do feel like it messed me up a little. Anyways, thank you so much for always providing informational content 💖
i wish there was an "im not sure" option for the ACES quiz, i understand why there isnt, but there was one of them where i was unsure because of my own memory loss. anyways, i got an 8 lol
I am 68 years old and after watching this I realize I have at 5 ACES. Where can I go to find out how I coped and how I didn’t cope? You are a beautiful woman with amazing supportive alters and husband. Bless you 💜
This was so informative and well put together. I like how clearly you explained window of tolerance, as I've seen that first hand in friends of mine with military service-related PTSD, they were all in the same incident but had quite different repercussions (some due to being injured, and others not) with some having to leave the service and others are still there to this day doing fine. Our brains are fascinating things, and the more we learn about how they work and what we can do to support people who've been through trauma (other than, you know, helping avoid it in the first place!) The better we can make everything really
My ex-step-mom abused me for 6 years and when I was 4 a clown costume scared my soul out of me and that's where my fear of clowns came from, now I can't go to circuses without being terrified
Thank you for making this video, we all got into a discussion about trauma, mostly about emotional abuse and neglect that we faced when we were young. When I was seven years old, both my best friend and our family dog passed away. That was another issue. We really appreciate the work you put into this video, thank you. 💖
Honestly I'd be very interested in the full 30 minutes. Not that I'm askin you to upload that footage but in case you worried bout the length of video bein intimidatin or there not bein interest, I feel there would be interest n you're engagin enough for a long video to not be off-puttin. Cheers for this. - Valen
@@MultiplicityAndMe I definitely agree. Your channel is the only one where I’d happily watch any length video because it’s equally informative, captivating, and (it may be odd) but also soothing. This channel has helped me with understanding not only my own trauma, but the trauma of other members of my family.
I did not think I would ever randomly come across another person who knew about ACEs! Without going into detail on my childhood, my score is 8/10 but I have a resilience score of 11/14. I'll be 40 in mid-November, and a few years ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD, GAD, and Depression after two instances of workplace sexual assault unlocked feelings of constant terror that I thought I left behind decades ago. My manager did nothing to keep my attacker away from me, and within two weeks there had been two instances of unwanted physical contact. I ended up in the ER with blood pressure 165/105 (I know, Jamie, lucky my heart didn't burst! The on call ordered an EKG because they thought I was having a heart attack @ 33 😱), I was diagnosed with being in a state of psychological stress, and told I could not return to work until I spoke with my primary, and a mental health professional... I never went back to that job. Then, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and degenerative disc disease. Basically, my lowest three lumbar vertebrae look like stacked upside down horseshoes (does that mean I'm super duper good luck?), and the nerves in my body are hyperactivated more than they are not. Sometimes I feel odd pin pricks, sometimes it feels like bugs are crawling on my skin, and other times it feels as though wings of fire are trying to rip through the skin of my back. I have never developed alters but I also know that the after effects of trauma manifest in different ways. I've always been a "Freezer" so maybe that is why. God bless you all, and the mission you are on to help more individuals understand that trauma should not be stigmatized. You are all just such lovely individuals, and it has been such a joy to get to know you all through your channel.
Thank you so much for discussing this topic. From what I remember, trauma that I have been through has been a debate on whether or not it was actually traumatic. Since starting therapy with a psychologist, I’ve found that I am more damaged than I even realised and have to start at square one with building up my foundations for recovery. Your videos are so refreshing and soothing. Thanks and Smilies!
Chaotic facts for the video today:
Filmed with a potato? Yes.
Regretted my lashes? Yes 😂
Story goes: our camera will finally be fixed as of January 🥳 so let’s hope the quality will be better in the next vid or so!
As for the lashes, Ed did makeup with me and then was like “let’s put lashes on” and gave me a go... cue me freaking out because I had put one on and didn’t like it, tried to take it off only for it to be stuck to my actual eye lashes 😂 didn’t know if there was a way to take it off without removing ALL of the make up, so I just gave up and stuck on the other one... thankfully not as glued onto my eye lashes as the other!
Ed wanted to darken the make up to match the lashes more but by this point I had flapped so much he was done with me 😂 and I was done with him...
We’re still very much a work in progress! 🙈
I can see where you struggled but only because you pointed it out! Overall you look sooooo cute!!!
as someone who doesn’t even have did, but does have adhd and anxiety, this story is so relatable lol
Love real life system stories!! 💕
I think y'all look lovely, the makeup matches your sweater so nicely
You fooled me with your struggles cause I kept thinking throughout the video how gorgeous you look! 💕
😫 my son is 7 almost 8 and we are going through the process of trauma therapy, his bio mom put him through more in the first 2 years of his life than I could ever imagine in a lifetime, he has shown plenty of signs and as I watch you all I see things more clearly and I thank you all for educating others, because this momma is desperate for him to get the proper love and help so he can thrive, because right now he is struggling 😭 I love you all so much I can’t even put it all into words 🙏🏼❤️
You’re doing an amazing job 🥺💖 by being there through his struggles and teaching him how to process his emotions and feelings you’ll help I do so much hurt - sending you our love and best wishes xx
My prayers are with you and your family!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
thank you for being an awesome mom
Being honest I want to show this to our mom and say “HA! KIDS CAN HAVE DID!”
(We are in a 12 y/o’s body and our mom doesn’t believe we have DID)
-Logan, Maya, Zack
You are a wonderful mom for getting him the help he needs. I did trauma therapy as an adult, and it has majorly helped the way I respond and cope with the world around me. I will always struggle, but for me it is no longer a life disrupting issue and more something that I can actively work at while living my life and achieving the goals that I want out of my life.
Short answer: It doesn't matter "how much" trauma a person has experienced. ANY amount of trauma is bad. That's like asking how many bones do you need to break in your legs before you can't walk anymore... The answer should be obvious.
Your example isn't great but your message is perfect ❤️
Ever heard of micro fractures? (I don’t mean to bash down on your example, but people can walk on a broken leg. It’s a matter of how tolerant you are of the pain).
@@anderssondyke9919 maybe the pain is what they mean? Like some people can walk on a broken leg but others cant?
@@anderssondyke9919 But if what caused the microfracture keeps on happening, if it doesn't get time to heal, then it becomes a break. And to step out of a metaphor, even if a child doesn't develop DID, there's also OSDD, C-PTSD, and PTSD, among other side effects. But yes, I think your point is the point of this video - that it depends, and some people are naturally more resilient/tolerant in the face of trauma, or have better support networks that allow them to bounce back better. A microfracture in one person that heals up just fine because they got proper treatment and rest will be a break in someone with brittle bones, or further trauma that prevents healing or causes more damage.
(sorry, that got a bit rambly)
@@anderssondyke9919 Yeah, people can walk on a broken leg, and I guess it's what the example was about. We can stand different injuries and still be able to move, but every injury needs to be cured. And yeah, we have different pain tolerance, so it's wrong to downplay somebody's pain. I think it's what Rial Vestro wanted to say.
Another ACE that isn't commonly talked about is early school trauma. Often times, what happens at school never makes it back to the parents, and even someone who has a good home life is susceptible to trauma that might be hidden for years to come until it starts affecting how one functions in adult life. Rare way to end up as a system, but like Jess said, sometimes life just happens.
Yes!
So true
100% agree about trauma from school
Oooh boy, could not agree more. Lots of unprocessed school trauma over here, so much it makes my head dizzy
Yeah, I hated the thought of going to school because school meant pain from around the age 9
Genuinely wish I could show this to my parents, but I know it'll just lead to gaslighting 😔
I’m so sorry you’re in that situation 😓
Dang, we feel you. Stay strong, you've got this!
@@MultiplicityAndMe I'm kind of used to it. They arent as bad as they used to be but its a battle. They accept i have symptoms but won't take any responsibility. I just keep a cautious distance, put on "emotional armour" as my psychologist calls it, when I interact with them. I just wish I could be open with them.
we relate super hard to that bit about gaslighting 😕
the parents don't even believe we even have D.I.D, haha. even though we've been dx'ed professionally, for a little over 2 years, now.
stay strong 🖤🖤🖤 -Natalie
I feel you...
I will say it until I have no breath left: never let your pain invalidate someone else’s pain. Pain and trauma are not a competition and if you are someone who deals with emotional or physical pain, use that to inform how you care for others. I adore your videos and your beautiful system.
Thank you!! And yes that’s so very true! Appreciate that we’ve all had different battles and some of us may have been affected, that’s all people need to know
I agree completely!
My/our older brother has made several remarks about how his elementary school trauma - which he has not once elaborated upon in any way, shape, or form to myself/ourselves nor either of our parents, other than that, though caused him to be a system as well - was so much worse than the years of repeated trauma that I/we endured all throughout seventh through twelfth grade - which our emotional, physical, and sexual protectors, and gatekeeper/manager alters more or less got us through, alongside our persecutor or caretaker twin alters that it prompted to come into being - out of homophobia over me and me alone at the time amongst the alters within our system - the seemingly only host alter of our system that we have ever had - being gay that he knows very little about...from the very little I told my parents before they began crying...from the very little that I am emotionally detached from rather than amnesiac towards - plus who only knows, besides maybe our gatekeeper but definitely our child alter, about the trauma he, our child alter, faced that actually caused our system to form in the first place - because all he seems to do to any of us when any of us interact with him is gaslight us...
Never compare your trauma, or lack there of, to another's; just listen and support, or leave!
as a teen, myself and some friends thought we had spirit companions, or something like a spirit being. mine was deemed evil and harmful so he had to be killed. I was never the same after that. it's been 20 years and I still feel some kind of empty.
is my pain valid?
I mean, if I was an fictive alter in a system who's mom got killed by a monster my pain would be valid
@@MultiplicityAndMe t respectfully disagree with you saying How WE deal with our Trauma decides if we have DID. Am I misunderstanding?
My Ace is 8/10 and should be 9/10 had they been Prosecuted.
From reading the comments people are not understanding. They are saying sleeping in the dark or riding a Rollercoaster can cause DID. That is Completely WRONG!
@@shatteredbones1048 the video explains it 😅 everyone’s perception and window of tolerance is different. Toxic stress comes in many forms and there isn’t any research to describe HOW MUCH trauma someone needs (that would be a very unethical study). Take a car crash; why can some people get back in the car the next day but others may never be able to drive again? That’s why. Trauma affects us all differently and the outcome of that is unique.
I go to an alternative charter school, and everyone has to take the ACES test as part of the onboarding process. That way all the teachers can be trauma informed. They also have you fill out paperwork asking if you're okay with being hugged, or if you'd rather not be touched at all. It's a great school and I wish all were like this.
My school is like that too! I feel like alternative schools are somehow for some reason better than other schools. All schools should be good.
Lucky
My school does this too, but they make the parents fill out how the child feels, and having bad parents fill out the test for me, I don't have a chance
I never thought a school could do that! That absolutely awesome! I so much wished my school was like that, then I could have been maybe treated better. I didn't had that much of a bad school life, but some teachers sure did a negative impact on my mental health, because they didn't know how I felt and thought it was laziness or they were pushing me to do things I couldn't do. Still, I'm really happy there are such great schools like yours! (in that departement at least)
i wish my school was like that i hate unexpected touching and get triggered easily and am v sensitive
I took the test and got 4, but I found it irritating that the question regarding sexual trauma specified they had to be 5 years older at minimum. Someone doesn’t need to be 5 years older than you to abuse you, this disregards child on child SA
I needed to hear this. it's so hard for me to call it what it is because of the similar age at the time. thank you.
I completely agree that it doesn't need to be that span of years, but I wonder if it's because, at a certain age gap, the child thinks they are more of a caregiver than a peer or friend. Does that make sense? It was just a thought.
As a victim of child on child SA, I thank you for this comment. For years and years and years I felt my sexual assault “didn’t count” because it was my brother who is only two years older than me and we were both children at the time. I was just the first of many children, he has a history of offenses. I didn’t tell anyone about it until I was 20 years old because I spent so long feeling invalid. We’re all valid.❤️
@@tori_19 It was our cousin and he was only 2.5 years older. He also has a history and while him doing things to my sister was taken seriously because of their age gape it wasn't taken seriously in my case. At least my therapist takes it seriously and my fiance so finally have support but really wish I had when I was younger.
That is disturbing. I was sexually assaulted for 6 years by a brother only 1.5 years older than me. It was always violent, and always unwanted and I always fought. It gave me repeated nightmares over and over as a pre-teen. It caused me to always ensure I was not alone, I became responsible for ensuring my brother and father did not kill each other by staying silent. The fear was palpable every day. I locked myself in my bedroom at every opportunity. I ran away from home by taking a scholarship. I held the secret for 15 years more. I lived with panic attacks, bulimia, self abuse, and survived a subsequent abuser. Whoever created that ACE test that claims sibling abuse is not a sexual trauma that counts must have an extremely limited understanding. It's unbelievable really. I'm shocked.
My score is 0 and I realize it is a privilege to not have childhood trauma. And despite the fact that growing up was f*cking hard, I am acknowledging the difference between pain and trauma. And I am so grateful for always having love and learning how to live with painful experiences and find healing. Thank you for this video!
Thank you for saying that. Too often today I find people are over claiming the “trauma” tag when it doesn’t apply to them. I’m not saying you life was easy or you’ve had it all on a silver platter, far from it, but trauma is different than that and it makes it very hard to be taken seriously and get the appropriate medical and psychological when people are constantly minimising real trauma. I hope things have gotten better for you now that you’re a little older! 🖤
@@AlexisGraceMusic on the other side though, and not invalidating your experiences, but who defines a trauma if it’s all about how it makes you feel? As Jess said in the video, the brain decides what is too much.
@@AlexisGraceMusic did you not notice that you literally just did the thing you complained about in the same post?
@@AlexisGraceMusic wait you wouldn't know if it applies to them though LOL because something that doesn't seem traumatic to you can absolutely be traumatic to somebody with different brain chemistry. There's absolutely no way for you to know what applies to another person as trauma or not. There's no way for you to know that unless it's you.
Yikes... Also "real truama"? Yikes sis. Don't do that. I've been raped and beaten. It was traumatic. But also someone who may have had mentally abusive parents ALSO have trauma. Everyones truama is valid. Big or small.
This is coming from someone who's worked in mental health over 15 years. I'm not trying to be mean but everything that you are saying is misinformation and quite frankly it's harmful as well. It's not a contest..... Your truama isn't more important or more real than someone else's just because YOU think its more traumatic. Let's not do that. It all depends on the person, their brain chemistry, they're living situation, what mental health challenges they deal with and so so many more things. Different people deal with trauma different.
I can't even believe you said "real truama" 🤷🏻♀️😬
@@Amy-oh8qb just because you didn't experience sexual assault or physical or mental abuse doesn't mean that you didn't have trauma growing up. Trauma is different to every single person little or small it's all valid and it can all affect someone in a different way I feel like nobody watched this video that's kind of the whole point of it. All I'm saying is just because you weren't sexually assaulted or beaten whatever trauma that your brain identified as trauma is still very valid
I was raped by a group of guys when I was 14 and my entire young adult life I kind of just ignored it. I tried to make it a personality trait and became a sex worker because in my mind if I called myself a slut then nobody else could call me a slut right? It wasn't until I was around 29 or 30 that it really really started manifesting and started bothering me. I just started seeing therapy for myself recently and it really is helping a lot. I hope you can get the same help. I can give you resources if you need them for your area
At my job(mental health facility) we did "Trauma informed care" trainings and they had us complete the ace score, then discussed issue that can happen due to certain scores (including high blood pressure!). I knew my childhood wasn't good but I didn't realize how bad it was until others at my table were discussing their 1 or 2 and I was at a 7 and was so glad the subject got changed. It was a very very interesting training and I'm so glad people are starting to do these trainings more broadly throughout jobs, some not even related to mental health.
knowledge is so powerful and I genuinely feel everyone should learn about ACEs! thank you for sharing your experiences
@@MultiplicityAndMe unfortunately I found the test really unhelpful :( It just seemed WAY too simplistic for me, to the point it was bordering on invalidating. Love you all and your channel btw 💖
I definitely think it needs to be expanded etc - I try and view it as a blueprint and hope it helps expand and broaden future research 😊
@@neutrallynonsensical3477 I don't know if that can help you, but I've learned about schema therapy with my psycologist and it's really more complexe and very detailed! Maybe it can be something that can help you in any way or at least, interest you.
Putting this out there for anyone who needs to hear it: I have mild to moderate OCD, and recently, my therapist and I have been working through its relation to childhood trauma. My ACE score is 2. Even mild trauma can impact you. It's sometimes hard for me to face trauma because I don't think I've been traumatized enough, and I feel ungrateful or whiny to acknowledge the trauma that did exist. If it's constant, even small traumas have an impact, and even if you have one traumatic experience that impacts you, it's okay to seek out help for it. You're not wasting people's time.
I feel you. I have anxiety induced insomnia and mild agoraphobia. I typically don't consider myself to be someone who carries a lot of trauma from my childhood, then when I took the ACE test I was somewhat surprised to find that I had a score of 6. I didn't expect it to be so high because there are people that I knew growing up who faced worse trauma than I did and I would always consider their problems worse than my own and discount my own past. I didn't think that it mattered because it "wasn't as bad as it could have been."
I was about to say "I'm host of a system and I took the quiz and only ticked off 3, how can I have a dissociative disorder??" then I remembered that the whole point of this thing is that I don't know about it lol
Same, i don’t know if I don’t know about trauma, underplaying the part i know or just don’t have more. 3 is still enough for having DID, the list they provided is not all encompassing- as they said, it’s more about how a child perceives the situation.
It's hella confusing isn't it?
I think I might have it but people act like I probably don't have it because I don't *look* like I have it, and it'd have developed early.
And I'm like... well of course I wouldn't look like it, I would be the one who isn't supposed to know anything.
I just know I keep dissociating and have major blanks in my life and regular amnesic episodes.
I 'only' got 6, but 1 is far too much for any kid to have without proper support really.
I'm sorry you went through this.
I'm glad you at least know you have it though, you're a little bit closer to healing if you know some more about what you're contending with, even if you don't know the details of why.
Me- except I remember lots so now I’m wondering how much is there they wouldn’t let me know about
I took the quiz and, honestly, it's kinda bad... It doesn't make any questions about school, for eg. But even IF it was accurate about the n° of ACEs, that still is a very shallow description of some's story, it says nothing about how severe the events where and how many times they happend, and so many things there's not space for me to mention haha
ps.: also yeah, "trauma is what happens within us, not to us" (Gabor Mate)
Uh. Sure you are a “system” just keep believing that
My score was 7. I unexpectedly ran into my mother, source of my trauma, and we got onto the topic of mental health and my therapy progress. I explained this video to her and she said it made a huge impact on her and how she never realized just how her own childhood trauma has affected her, and in turn, her family and children. (Aint that intergenerational abuse just a bish?) She let me know shes making an appt for some help. While I no longer have a close relationship with her and am still working through my PTSD therapy, I'm happy for her and wished her well. Trying to make an impact on her was not my goal. Just being honest and being brave in front of my abuser was enough. So, thank you ❤ I dont think I could have communicated this information in such an easy to understand way with out your video.
That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you, that must have been difficult and yet you did it. Wow 🥺
@@v.9885 Never thought anyone would even notice this comment among the many. Thank you very much that means a lot truly ❤
@@reneemitchell4281 you’re very welcome! I genuinely thought that you deserve to be reminded of how brave that was and how much strength it took to be able to look at someone that had hurt you so deeply in the face and be kind
Wow!! You are amazing. Being able to give this talk to her...
I adore you! :)
Took the test finally. Our score was 9
That sounds like a card in memberships. Like "for ten stamps you got a free dessert* but instead its like for ten traumas you got a DID that you never asked for. But hey, you did a great job. Helped me get to know you and people with DID better, love your education
Thank you 😊 and yes, it’s the consolation prize no one wanted or asked for 😂
Oh my gosh this is so perfect! I'll have to remember this for when I explain this stuff to people lol.
The main thing that makes me doubt my OSDD is feeling like my trauma wasn’t ‘that bad’
Not any sort of expert, but if you're just naturally really prone to dissociating it might just take less to trigger that sort of mental response. But you are valid and all that, and just because your trauma doesn't seem "that bad" when compared to other things you have heard about, doesn't mean it wasn't enough to F you up. As resilient as humans are, we are also pretty fragile.
I totally feel this! I think I might have OSDD but I have a great support system as in my mom and my dad a little less but he loves me and tries really hard, so that makes me feel like it can't be because I did have a safety net and still have.
Dang yall going through it. Blessings and prayers, yall. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm the same way, especially since my brother went through much worse and turned out relatively normal.
It's interesting that the ages that a Dissociative disorder can develop is older then it was even when I started learning about this all. Science is always changing though so, makes sense.
wait, it can develop after 6-9 years old?
@@shibastutorials apparently. I don't know Phycology stuff.
@@shibastutorials The only report I've seen states dissociative disorders develop between the ages 5-10.
I'm guessing this implies that the cut-off point is different for everyone, and could theoretically extend past the believed 6-9 years old for some people, I imagine particularly neurodivergent people. If the brain isn't fully merged, then surely it could end up never fully merging, regardless of the age of the individual. The way alters "develop" is that the separate ego states of the brain cannot fully merge, due to internal conflict caused primarily by chronic trauma. So it's not so much that DID develops as it is that a neurotypical brain CAN'T develop, thus leaving one in a state with multiple separate states of consciousness.
okay, dissociative disorders can be developed at any age. but DID/OSDD1 are only possibly developed before age 9 (average age of natural integrative development, stopping this is what causes DID/OSDD1). there are more dissociative disorders than those, such as derealisation/depersonalisation disorder
My parents love to tell me how they were massively abused in the 60s and 70s and how they don't have DID, and then continue to fight saying I should remember what happened to me. I dunno.
Sorry to hear that 😥
Nicely put, "trauma olympics". The psychiatrists didn't take it seriously and said that our childhood experiences wouldn't be severe enough to cause a trauma response and not even create a ptsd. After just one week in the closed psychiatric unit, one week without any kind of therapy, they placed me in a nursing home. They are nice here, but I am here w/o therapy. I don't have any idea what I should do bc I know I need help. It's not improved.
I don’t know which breaks my soul more. The fact that you experienced CSA or that you weren’t properly soothed and cared for after
Idk the details enough to claim it is or isn’t a caregiver’s fault it happened(wether they were negligent to put you in a bad situation or if they were decent people just tricked/fooled)but the idea that they didn’t properly help you AFTER the fact just kills me inside
Thank you for the sympathy 💐 I suppose something I could add is that some people cope in their own ways, and sometimes those ways just aren’t the best to children who need a different kind of response (ie warmth and comfort as opposed to shame and coldness)
@@MultiplicityAndMe I can understand and empathize with a caregiver feeling traumatized as well and not having the best response, but I could never imagine not spending every minute of every day ensuring the child it 1000% is not the child’s fault. Sure there might be some shame naturally felt on the caregiver but I can’t imagine how they could feel shame towards anyone but the abuser or even themselves(if they feel they failed as a caregiver when they genuinely were a solid caregiver and a monster just snuck in with minimal red flags)
It just breaks my heart knowing there are children who experience some of the worst things imaginable and don’t even get the bare minimum of love, understanding and bone crushing hugs from their caregivers 😞
@@amandamoore7512 It is a difficult balance as the survivor with the CSA if still close to the care givers. I recognise mine were semi forced by family to hide trauma. I even recognise that they were failed when they asked for help cos I'm a little older than Jess and the system. Some of the services that could have helped were poorly regulated/created back then. Caregivers like mine can soothe at the time but not let the child fully react to what happened and fail to understand the PTSD that follows. I don't have DiD but I struggle hard with dissociation and emotional regulation. The more I have learnt through the system's videos the more it has helped me to address my family/community.
@@Firegen1 I am pretty much in the same situation & from the same background as you. It's rough going through trying to heal. I feel very fragmented, but when I lose time, it's not to other alters or anything (I don't have DID). The hard part is really feeling the hurt you need to process, & by contrast knowing you should have felt so much love. And that is reason enough for why you're suffering now. At some point, healing stops being about processing past pain & managing the shock of it. It becomes about expanding your capacity for self love. For all the situations you became traumatized, a good therapist can listen & repair that (soothe) & gain more trust from parts of you, thus helping you to feel again what it would've been to have been loved properly in that moment (irrespective of if it was someone's fault or not). It's very love-based. It's a powerful force. I struggle to feel it & think I deserve it.
apparently, i have three. doesn't completely surprise me. my best guess at the exact three would be emotional abuse, emotional neglect and general ill health (mental and physical). it makes sense to me. probably why i have an alter whos basically the parent i wish i had lol. my original alters hit like,, everything i needed as a child. a best friend, someone there to cuddle, someone to take care of my bumps and scrapes and sickness, someone who could fight anyone that hurt me. i've split a few more times since quarantine, (a little and a drama queen, both fictives) but that makes sense to me as i've done a fair amount of trauma processing over the lockdown. take care jess & co., your videos have meant a lot to all of us!
someone here mentioned an ACE quiz and I checked it out and it just reminded me how frustrated I am with what the understood distinction for CSA is. it describes it as an adult or someone 5 years older being the assailant but we don't discount or diminish the experience of teenagers and adults assaulted by people there own age so I don't see why it should be that way for children. being assaulted by a childhood friend the same age as you can be JUST as traumatic especially when you trust and rely on them heavily. It's just been hard as someone who has been through that kind of trauma and been ignored to see once again my experience not validated. (I also disliked that it focuses so heavily on inside the home because i know a lot of people who faced most of their trauma outside the home.)
Totally agreed!
It also doesn't account for sexual trauma unrelated to CSA, which I have :') and was reluctant to call sexual trauma for a long time, but... it's trauma. related to sexual stuff. So... sexual trauma.
Hello I took the ACEs test and I feel comfortable sharing that I got a score of 8. Too whoever needs it sending my love ❤️! Remember to wear your crown proudly and keep your head held high because you deserve the world!
such an empowering sentiment 🥺 thank you for sharing
I also got a score of 8 which, quite frankly, surprised me--I didn't realise I'd have so many...
@@Kaelah08 that's ok, I didn't think I would ever.
@jowalter05 that's a horrible situation to be in, I'm so sorry that happened.
@jowalter05 of course. It's ok that your not ready yet, the comment will be here when you are.
TL;DR: Brains are unique. It can differ not only from culture to culture, but also from person to person. Trauma is subjective and therefore, to a degree, doesn’t matter because pain is pain. 💜
I always thought it was weird that my therapist said I have symptoms of trauma. But because my trauma wasn't one if the main 2 people talk about I thought it didn't count. But from this I have 4-5. And somehow that makes my mental health problems feel more valid. Thank you.
Really glad to hear we were able to bring you some validation 💖 I hope it helps 😊
I agree, I took the test as well and scored either a 4 or 6, depending on how honest I was with myself. It feels weird to be so honest with myself about how traumatic my childhood was, when one therapist told me I had post traumatic stress I didnt believe him.
Our other host always repeats how "trauma isn't an event, it's a reaction in a person"...like in case of DID, there are literal differences in the brain and nerve systems, so what happened isn't quite the question, but what the outcome is. I mean in terms of if someone has DID or any trauma related disorder. If they have symptoms of the disorder, they have the disorder, and after that comes a time when they may be ready to start to learn what lead to it. Most people with trauma diagnosis we know started from the point,where they thought they had no trauma or it wasn't severe enough. Especially with DID, it's whole point of disorder to HIDE trauma and that ANP parts aren't aware of it, so luckily who ever wrote the diagnostic criteria of DID, left out the word trauma from it and concentrated to the symptoms.
Every time I see Multiplicity has responded to someone in the comments it genuinely warms my heart that they're taking time to listen to us and even respond to us
We try 🥺 thank you
I'm not sure why it did, but this video just made two major puzzlepieces click together in my brain.. I have basically been feeling shit for 2 decades. I have struggled with depression, negative selftalk and addictive behaviour for as long as I can remember and never understood why I can't just stop being a dick to myself, why i can't just let go of addictions.. I think I get it now.. When I was a kid I was severely bullied by two girls at my school - I was beaten, mentally abused and blackmailed into doing things I didn't want to do (such as unlocking the toiletdoor so said girls could get in to beat me up, because if I didn't then they'd tell the other students specific things about me), hunted around the school, basically put down in any sort of way they could think of.. My ability to stand up for myself was nonexisting.. But how does a young kid then cope with that sort of abuse? How do they cope with not standing up for themself? By starting to belive that the things said and done to them is what they deserve.. I have unknowingly continued their bullying all the way up to the age of 30 fucking years, because I have had to come up with some sort of way of justifying why I didn't stand up for myself. And I have actively let myself become addicted to things that put me further and further down causing me more and more pain mentally in the long run, while cleverly making me feel less pain in the short. Basically I am constantly making excuses for NOT standing up for myself just like when I was 7 years old and too scared to do so. I think it's about time I start un-believing the things they said about me and start standing up for myself.
I love that we’ve been able to click some things in place for you! 💪🏻 processing something like that must be very hard, but we hope it helps you to reach where you want to be! Best of luck!
I got about 4 and that’s not including being undiagnosed Autistic during childhood and fearing shouting and unpredictable school experiences and bullying from teachers and classmates and not knowing how to cope with adverse sensory feedback.
One example is I had a pair of school shoes that really hurt and my feet felt burnt wearing them in summer but I always thought I just had to put up with stuff and couldn’t change things that I didn’t feel comfortable with.
Shit...relatable :/
I saw aces, and thought, "asexuals?"
Me too! lol
Turns out I'm an ace that also has 6 aces.
same thought
I used to think my abuse wasnt severe enough to be called trauma bc my mom (my abuser) had it worse than me. But it definitely is trauma, which im still working on getting through. Thank you for your videos, they are really important to me 💖
my ACE score was 7. it brought up a lot of feelings and anxiety for me to think about how much trauma i’ve endured but i’ll be okay. another great video ♡ thank you.
💖💖💖
I've always wondered why I seem to be more fucked up than my brothers who grew up in precisely the same household, with the same parents, even if I had completely different experiences. Even my mum brought up that I'm so mentally screwed up yet my brothers are "okay-ish". The window of tolerance explains a lot. EDIT: ACE Results are 7. Dammit. No wonder I can't remember a majority of my childhood.
Absolutely! We have a friend with DID and BPD who is a twin who went through the same experiences, really horrific experiences... but her twin is completely fine... it really goes to show
I just love seeing that there are people out there who actually care. Where I grew up mental illness were looked down upon and considered fake and I just love knowing that any mental illness is considered valid here. Love the work you guys are doing!💕
Thank you 💐 I genuinely believe the more we educate, the more MH will be understood and accepted
This video is absolutely beautiful! I have BPD and I can’t even explain how accurate this is.
Those eyelashes make you look like a doll ㅇㅁㅇ
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
I don’t know why I have no idea why I feel so useless worthless and pathetic.. I don’t know why I feel like I have a system why I’m crying right now or why I cant sleep...
When looking back at my childhood all I remembered was how much my parents loved me and cared for me but than why do I feel so freaking awful,,
I can’t remember what happened exactly I think I used to get beaten up a little by mom but her love and affection should’ve made up for it, maybe sometimes she used to call me mean things and used to ground me..
I have no idea why I hate myself soo much that I wanna die..
I feel like there are other mes cuz i dont wanna die other times and “i” dont hate myself
i dont remember my childhood fully,,
but i think a little me “fonted” yesterday because it remembered how our house looked like and wanted to play toys it looked soo happy
than why do i feel so worthless? could it be she got nice treatment and me bad? than why the f*ck do i not remember anything other than distress and anxiety?
i also remember kinda getting treated differently and not being able to do much stuff cuz i had scoliosis and other minor issues so my parents were overprotective and i couldnt do sports for my safety and couldn’t do stuff other kids did
one part of my life looks amazing loving parents and lot of fun
but the other is just blurry and sad...
i dont connect to all my memories either,
i just dont believe i have childhood trauma cause i only started having worse reactions after being forcefully outed and that happened when i was 13..
“the other mes say” i have bad memory and exist mostly in stressful times and deal with worst stuff
what worst stuff mom screaming?
my other friends used to get beat up wayy worse and they dont have trauma.
i just dont want to fake this stuff but at the same time the others seem kinda real,, i may just not remember some of the bad stuff.. can anyone help me? my childhood seems just too good but than again why am i so worthless and vulnerable? could I have real alters?
sorry for the looong rant/vent
(i also had everything as a child: toys food etc, but i missed out a thing, my parents fought a lot)
-Daki
edit: as a separate thing i feel unloved i kinda feel like other me was loved and not me i always feel like everyone hates me
I fought for the longest time against my PTSD diagnosis, because my dad served in the war and has it, and I didn't think I had been traumatized enough to share the same diagnosis. But you echoed something one of my therapist's once said, "everyone processes life differently. What you went through felt like a war, so it your reaction was valid." That kid of thinking has honestly made dealing with PTSD a lot easier. 💚 🎗
I did the ACE test as I just wasn’t sure what it was. I got a score of 1, very grateful to only have that!
Same and I almost feel guilty for those here who have been through so much 😭😓
I feel that the aces test is a little inaccurate, only because it mainly just says “a parent or household member” if the test didn’t specify that I’d have a much higher score but, I suppose like it says, it’s not a 100% accurate tool.
Of course! Definitely take with a pinch of salt 🧂
And it says "often times experienced"... while some of us may have experienced something a certain kind of trauma only once or twice.
Yeah it doesn't include things that weren't a part of the immediate family, which many more children have experienced trauma separate from familial trauma, including myself. If the test wasn't limited to just within the immediate household, I'd have at least 4 or 5.
It also asked "mother or stepmother" for the domestic violence question when it was my father who had most of the abuse, so that doesn't quite sit right with me either. :(
Me, abused verbally physically and sexually by my older sister: 👁👄👁
I finally opened up to my therapist about me having people inside my head, it actually happend this morning. I had my first emdr session and i was scared as hell. And for some reason is just start talking about them and it felt so incredibly good to finally tell someone.
I'm not saying I have DID there is no prove it could be anything I just stick with a really big fantasy until we know what it is, if it is something
. I just want to say that your videos help a lot and are really comforting.
Also sorry for my really bad English. I'm from the Netherlands. Normally I'm really good at English but I'm super tired right now
I'm 55 years old with PTSD MDD and you just taught me something about myself that therapists have never taught or showed me.! Now I know why I react the way I do & why my personality is always on hyper arousal I take medications & even now I've been in years of therapy & have NEVER known WHY or WHAT hyper arousal is! I was just saying last night how I know & am aware that my personality is so loud extra constantly stressed & everything I do or say is so fast and loud and I'm stressed and full of anxiety 24/7. Keep in mind I'm disabled with a bone disease and I'm home bound so I know I drive everyone here at the house crazy.. Actively working on not being so anxiety riddled . This just really helped me thank you so much!
I’m so glad we were able to help Colleen! Honestly psychoeducation is so very important and we’ve healed more in knowing how and *why* we’re doing the things we’re doing than if we weren’t educated on it at all... I hope to do more on the window of tolerance in future but please do go ahead and research what you need to in the meantime 😊
@@MultiplicityAndMe I will & thank you so much!. You guys are helping so many ppl all over the world , I'm sure. That's got to be a great feeling!.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You guys are a gift to so many & I'm excited about learning more!
You say you regret your lashes, but I just wanna say that I loved how the makeup colors were matchy-matchy with your shirt 🥰 That kind of stuff really tickles my OCD fancy
I know it’s not sympathy you seek but I genuinely feel so bad for you because I know that I have suffered a little trauma and that was traumatic for me and just knowing that people have suffered more than me makes me so sad to think about ❤️❤️❤️
Adults can’t fix everything. But they truly can make a big difference.
When I was six I watched my mom being taken to the “hospital” because she was “sick”. (She was suicidal and delusional.)
My big sister was my “other mom”. Our grandmothers alternated staying with us. My dad spent extra time with us.
An excellent support system! Only one problem: I was terrified that mom was gone forever, while everyone was pretending everything was fine. I was afraid to rock the boat by asking questions, so I pretended too.
One night we had a delicious dinner of roast chicken with apple cake for dessert. Later I threw it all up. (I couldn’t eat either of those foods for years after.)
It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized I didn’t have a 24 hour bug: I was sick because I had stuffed too much fear.
(In NO way do I blame my family for this.)
When mom came home after ten days I was terrified of going to school - she might disappear again. I believe the way it was handled mostly resolved things.
Mom and the school counselor talked. Then he called me in and told me that any time I needed to talk to mom, I had permission to leave the classroom - without explanation - and come to his office and call mom on his phone.
One day I was feeling anxious and did it. I guess my teacher was clued in too, because it worked exactly as I was told it would. The relief when I heard mom’s voice! I never needed to do it again.
I’ve still struggled with abandonment issues many times since; but I suspect they would have been a LOT worse if the adults hadn’t stepped in.
I'm not surprised that I got an 8. What did surprise me were the amount of memories that came up when answering the questions. I took about 45 minutes taking the test. Carefully remembering each time something happened. The amount of times each of these things happened was staggering. I go out of my way to not pick apart my childhood. I don't trust people with my memories, including therapists. So I haven't been to one. This test was extremely uncomfortable to take. Which also surprised me. I'm very good at not opening the locked boxes in my head. I still have trust issues and I still bottle things up.
This being said. I am a mostly happy adult. I'm in a healthy marriage (my 24th anniversary is in 3 days). And more than anything, I have done everything in my power to take care of my children's physical and mental health. It stops with me! We aren't our abusers. And we don't have to keep the cycle going. And above all, we are worthy of happiness and love. We were also worthy of the love and support we didn't get as children.
Thank you for making this. Our system appreciates having a new understanding of why some of us feel like we haven't been hurt enough to have OSDD, causing imposter syndrome.
We're working on the acceptance of the fact that our problems are problems
I've experienced five of the ACEs, but the ones that impacted me the most were the physical and emotional abuses. That was at a time where I was old enough to know what was going on, but still young enough that it all sunk in easily, so it left me with a ton of mental issues that I'm still working through to this day.
Instant boost of dopamine just seeing that ya’ll posted
Aww thank you Ray 🥰
This video is getting me thinking... i so often say "ahh nooo there was only a little trauma i have no real reason to complain" but also while taking the test the emphasis on "but how did you feel?" makes a real difference. I still feel as tho it is not reaaally valid to be stressed about that stuff but i know i should recognize it as enough. Its just feels difficult to do that.
this video boldly demonstrates circumstances, reasoning, and window of tolerance that causes DID.
the ACES we endured from 6 months old to just 13
Physical, emotional, CSA, neglect, substance abuse, domestic violence (witnessing and victim ourselves), young caretaker, and criminal exploitation.
the brain did not have a window of tolerance due to lack of nurture and comfort from parents/adults, as they WERE the cause of this trauma.
the ones bold and brazen who say
'the trauma you have is exaggerated how can you have DID-'
there is a very important line in this
'your perception of how bad that persons' trauma was is irrelevant"
My window of tolerance is so tiny, it’s exhausting. I can’t do anything, any change sends me into panic mode. I’m in the middle of a move right now and it feels like Hell...
I'm sorry. Moving itself is VERY difficult. In fact, people put it up there with loss of a loved one and/or divorce as far as stressful events go. I hope everything goes well for you ❤️
@@JulEnglefaris thank you so much for you kind comment! This winter really was one of the hardest times in my life, and that move went to badly. I'm all settled in now, and the stress has significantly gone down 😊
@@myriamduran3262 so happy to hear! ☺️
I love how you said “This is not the Trauma Olympics.” Somehow it hit home and helped me put a lot of things into perspective.
Researcher side-note: thanks for explaining the difference between evidence that
- proves a *causal* link between A and B, and
- strong *association* between A and B
And that some things that we have strong *association* evidence for are just too unethical to test for a *causal* link.
E.g. we'll never actually prove that smoking causes cancer, because we're so confident in its association to cancer that we'd never conduct the necessary trial to prove it (which would involve asking a sample of non-smoking participants to start smoking and then see how many of them get cancer).
Thank you so much for this. I have had so many people tell me that my trauma isn't severe enough to have a dissociative disorder -Red
My parents: *suggests that i have DID for the last 10 years*
Also my parents: *refuse to acknowledge my childhood trauma was "bad enough" to ever develop DID*
LOL crazy. I wish i could send them this vid but i know it would lead to gaslighting.
They dont want to believe anything bad happened ,i realize ive done that too my adult daughter because i cant handle accepting i couldnt protect her ,cant accept she went thru stuff ,ive wked thru it with her ,i just thought i would share that with you .❤
I don’t have DID, however I have been diagnosed with BPD and PTSD with dissociative episodes. I suffered through childhood trauma and neglect. I am glad people like you continue to educate others about serious mental illness in a light hearted way, and encourage people to get the help they need. I’m great full I found an amazing psychologist and psychiatrist to help me deal with my issues.
This was so good!! You are such a fantastic educator on these topics and so well informed. Was Jamie close when you filmed this? I thought I heard his voice poke through a couple of times!
After the wobble Ed and I had? Very most likely!
I was gonna mention this too, knowing Jamie has poor eyesight. The way Jess keeps widening her eyes and doing long blinks reminds me of the way I strain my eyes when I'm not wearing my glasses.
@@MultiplicityAndMe well the pair of you (+ whoever else was involved in the production!) did a bloody fantastic job! All the best and congrats on the new job! ❤
I have BPd and this was informative. I didn't realize how much trauma I have experienced, I scored a 7.
Childhood the most likely time to develop DID. Typically for adults, ptsd and c-ptsd is more likely. I has to do with brain development. Not to say that DID can't develop later, but it seems less likely in an adult. At least that how it seems to me.
Yes, exactly like that! 😊 you’re totally right from what I understand too!
@@MultiplicityAndMe Have you explained fractured psych and cptsd ? ❤️
Thank you thank you thank you SO much for this video. As a newer system who is still trying to figure out life as a system and how to cope on a daily basis your channel the last few months has truly been a lifeline for us. Especially since our biggest struggle has been the constant worry of "if we had been traumatized enough" or "if we were overreacting" and such... Your channel truly is a blessing more then you know. So with the highest sincerity and appreciation... Thank you all.
- Danny and the Willow System
This is so wonderful to hear! We love knowing we’ve been able to help you all feel so validated 💖 thank you for letting us know 😊
So much love for this video. This is a message I definitely need to get better at believing. Not that I doubt my OSDD, but I can sometimes feel like it was my fault for developing my disorders because maybe if I wasn't a really sensitive person then I would have turned out "normal". It's always nice to be validated in that.
this video should have far more likes. much love to all puzzle pieces of you, along with Gaz and the floofs
I dissociated a lot (not like DID but for example during flashbacks) and I told my therapist about it and they told me that my trauma wasn’t valid enough. I know that I shouldn’t believe them but they have really been giving me more trust issues. I’m now (I don’t go there anymore) too afraid to talk about anything because all I ever hear is that my trauma isnt ‘enough’ I have been diagnosed with PTSD when I was 8. Thank you for these videos they make me feel really safe💕
So sorry you were invalidated. Shame on that therapist. Hope he's not a therapist anymore and instead selling rocks on the side of the road. Your trauma is valid. Flashbacks suck. I hear you. I believe you.
I recently got diagnosed with ptsd with a strong possibility of complex ptsd... So when my therapist mentioned it (I've been subscribed for over 2 years) I immediately thought of you and your channel! Your information on DID and other mental health diagnosis made me understand the therapists explanation of ptsd so much easier! Love to you all xxxx
I have 3 and I do think my BPD and other mental health diagnosis goes hand in hand with Trauma and also my genetics. Mood issues run in my family as well. I don't think I would have as many issues if I didnt have trauma growing up. But I could be wrong of course lol
This is such an important video. I feel like so many times people compare their experiences to others when in reality comparing two people can be like comparing an apple and an orange. I've seen this outside of the discussion of trauma and extended to mental illness overall and it's so important to understand that what other people are experiencing or have experienced does not negate or invalidate your experience.
I was so worried I’d feel invalid because of this video but instead it helped me a lot
Trigger warning for safety, potential CSA mention:
I took the quiz and my honest answer to the sexual abuse ones is "I don't know." My dad has a friend who went to prison for assaulting his kids and another who he tried to keep me away from because he was a "dirty old man." I also had to stop sleeping in my parents bed when I was five and couldnt wear shorts around him (my dad) growing up, so-
I can remember very little of my childhood before the age of 13, and even from there to 17 is fuzzy sometimes. I'm almost 25 now.
Thank you for an extremely helpful video!!! I took the test and got an ACE score of 9. It was kind of saddening to see but I’m not really surprised. Anyway love the video as always 💞
I love and appreciate this so much. Even though I have 6+ trauma experiences or categories, I am always so self-critical & invalidating. It was very comforting and healing to hear someone else basically tell me that I am valid for having & suffering from my trauma-related disorders.
That moment when you can't take the ACE test because you don't remember your childhood and youth... u_u'
This is me. It is all blank/very vague 🤷🏻♀️
I think that's a caution for concern. You don't have to take the ACE test I'm pretty sure not remembering your childhood and youth is basically a sign, to go to a therapist.
@@am-zj4mq yep I’m definitely in therapy lol
Thats your brain protecting itself. I remember only portions, but my younger sister doesn't remember anything.
What's normal to remember though? I probably have about 25 core memories from before I was 13.
I had a good childhood though apart from my mum and dad splitting up due to my dad's alcoholism.
Gotta love it when you can point to an event that would count as every single ACE on that list
I love that your eyeshadow and lips match the shirt you're wearing!
Videos on education, Insight, and and explanation for something like this... Is never "ridiculously long" though. Everything in here is helpful, and highly appreciated.
I would be really interested in seeing DID studies on populations with high levels of generational trauma and constant trauma. Such as parts of Africa and the Middle East. I’ve only seen DID in a western context.
We have to remember that our idea of trauma is usually child abuse, accidents, sexual abuse, and other unusual events. But in some parts of the world, people are born into war zones or tortured for their whole existence.
I’m not sure what would happen to a population if , say, the majority of people had DID. How would that society function? Or, perhaps the brain will not develop DID in a situation where everyone around them is experiencing the same trauma. Alters are created based on knowledge that the brain has of people. But if the only people you have ever encountered are victims like you, what kind of alters could even be made? It’s hard to say, since there isn’t enough research done.
I’m really thinking of getting a degree and studying DID, because there just isn’t enough info out there smh.
My partner lives in the Middle East and grew up around lots of war/violence and was conscripted. That + abuse from home and school all growing up caused what we believe is DID. They aren’t able to safely see a therapist in their country.
Like a lot of other systems they have at least one child alter that holds all the feelings and interests they held as a kid that they had to hide. Some others are from different ages as they grew up, so think alters splitting after they already established having a DID Brain. Then there are some that I assume embody either what they wished to do to others in retaliation or embodying their abuser(s). It’s just a really toxic person who wants to hurt others/push limits just for the hell of it. But whether it was them already having ASD and being more sensitive to trauma or generational trauma that mainly helped this develop but it’s probs both.
@@tabitha4048 First of all, I’m sorry to hear that they went through all of that. I wish them all the best in recovering from their trauma.
Secondly, thank for you sharing. This is very insightful. It seems like their DID presents in the same way as many others do. I hope that researchers can look into DID and other mental health issues in that region and help people to heal. I actually studied the Middle East a lot in school. Between that and my interest in DID, I’m seriously considering doing this research to help people. Because no one else is.
I wish you both all the best.
@@royce6485 that was such a kind reply, thank you. I’m studying psychology currently and the amount of colonization in the field is astounding. With DID specifically it’s painted as a rare occurrence, but when you think about how many even have access to being diagnosed you realize it’s probably a lot more. Considering that BIPOC in America have the most generational and lived trauma, with the least access to healthcare let alone psychiatry- the discrepancies are far too real to base conclusions off of. Coupled with it being a covert disorder and with symptoms that can be easily misdiagnosed as anxiety, C-PTSD, ADHD, borderline etc. it’s hard for me to even trust psychologists who say they “don’t believe it” bc of their shitty data.
And the “therapist influence” thing is something I can see being a thing with new therapists especially. Their prompts are almost always guided questions pointing towards their own conclusion. But my symptoms trace back to early childhood, and the only way I remembered what happened to me as a kid was when a child alter who carried that trauma came out. My first suspicions of having it came during a time I wasn’t in therapy at all. So I really don’t know how they reach the conclusions that they do. And if they are correct I don’t know what other disorder could cause the experiences I have had.
In the middle east they would say you have the Juni (spirit) within you - people/families wouldn't be exposed to even know about DID> I'm
not sure if they have acknowledged DID in the medical field in the Middle East.
25% of children in Compton, Los Angeles schools had experienced 2 or more "severe traumas", according to a major legal case conducted in 2014-2015. whole parts of the world and groups of ppl are carrying heavy, heavy trauma as a result of colonialism and war and forced impoverishment. i know a system whose formation was a result of generational trauma carried on from parents leaving a u.s. imperialized, war-stricken country to come live here, and its highly suspected a parent also was a system. children living in conditions of environmental racism within the states have *both* the compound traumas of that forced impoverishment *AND* any resulting physical, cognitive, or other impairment as a result of lacking access to clean water, or constant exposure to lead, radiation, etc. this shit is srs. unfortunately, the solution to this will not simply be "more trauma-informed care"--it's gotta be a complete UPHEAVAL of what this society is and does and how it addresses human need & the systemic, measurably destructive conditions that have been created since this planet was first colonized by europeans. also, the other systems i have met were victim survivors in the *states* who literally survived things like filmed CSA and s*x trafficking--in the states. often brought on by powerful members of their family, sometimes a direct parent. so don't think that "lifetime torture" is *only* happening in West Asia and the continent of Africa--in fact, it's far more likely that you're just *unaware* of the torture that some children *here* face, as a result of the same colonial white supremacist structure (the u.s. & western europe) that causes those conditions across the world.
Thank you - such a useful video! Haven’t taken the test yet, but just by what has come out in therapy- I have 5/6 ACEs... funny how you grow up thinking your childhood wasn’t great and then questioning if your trauma is ‘bad’ enough when you discover you might be a system.
Right? I hear so many people invalidate their trauma because “it wasn’t enough” (us included!) and it takes some doing to remind ourselves that this was enough for us and this is why we’re the way we are... I hope this video helps bring some comforts to some folks out there who may be feeling the same
@@MultiplicityAndMe It so will!! Thanks guys!!
I hope that talking about this is ok with you and you havnt feel pressured to talk about your trauma publically
I think we’re happy to disclose some of the “themes” of trauma we’ve experienced, without necessarily going into detail 😊 but thank you for checking!
Fascinates me that our brains actually rewire themselves to cope, and that, although it often seems maladaptive, it’s done to protect us.
Survival comes first.
I have 4, but the emotional neglect was probably the most hurtful.
Hey, I'm Dylan, and I'm a part of a system. We've just recently discovered your channel, and we enjoy your content very much (or, well, most of us anyways, XD). Since you were so brave in sharing your ACEs, we have agreed to tell you (and the world, I guess) that we have experienced over 4. We're quiet up there, actually. Thank you for making these videos educating people, it is very appreciated. Keep up the good work!
What an important and educational topic to cover! I really enjoyed the video, I try to be knowledgeable about mental health but it can be hard to keep track of everything, your videos really present all the facts in such a clear way that it makes it much easier to learn the basics so I can go and do further research myself.
Also I keep forgetting to comment this but I adore the wallpaper in the background of your videos, its very classy and interesting!
^ Can I say, "ditto?" Literally the words out of my mouth from top to bottom 🤣
Gurl, congratulations on making it on the Insider's list of channels to follow on 2021! I just... I LOVE YOU.
Thank you M&M for another fantastically educational video! This is such an important topic to talk about, and as all of your videos are, it's extremely well done.
Lots of love!
-Kai&Co
I'm DID, C-PTSD, Social Anxiety, OCD, & Major Depressive Disorder & have a history of severe school bullying, family violence & ab*se, & organized criminal child ab*se. I also moved around a lot because of my family & coped with severe allergies & asthma. I'm an only child & had no safe adult growing up. I was hurt from age 2 years to my teen years.
I would be thrilled to see longer videos! I wouldn’t mind if videos were 30 minutes, at all. Maybe you could do a poll.
Hope you all have a great Holiday and New Years! ☮️&💟
I really couldn’t love a bunch as much as I love and admire you all 😫😭❤️ Absolutely a blessing to anyone who has a chance to listen and watch 🙏🏼
This is a beautiful compliment 🥺💖 thank you
My trauma was just so normalized to me that it didn't even feel like trauma, but now I see it and it's fucked up. I thought it was normal, I hated it but thought it happened to everyone :/
Feel you there ❤️🩹 so sorry
@@MultiplicityAndMe thank you :) xx
I'm so glad you made a video about this topic. It's something I've wondered before because my mother went through some horrifying traumas as a child (around the time frame & age cut off for likelihood of developing DID) but to my knowledge, she doesn't have DID. But also, this helped me understand why even when my sister and I experienced the same emotional abuse & neglect (among other aces) in our childhoods, she doesn't really see it as a traumatic experience that has hindered her psychologically in any way, where I do feel like it messed me up a little. Anyways, thank you so much for always providing informational content 💖
i wish there was an
"im not sure" option for the ACES quiz, i understand why there isnt, but there was one of them where i was unsure because of my own memory loss. anyways, i got an 8 lol
I am 68 years old and after watching this I realize I have at 5 ACES. Where can I go to find out how I coped and how I didn’t cope?
You are a beautiful woman with amazing supportive alters and husband. Bless you 💜
Thank you this. There was so much knowledge here that I have to watch it again to absorb it all.
Take your time 💖 thank you for the watch Kayla!
Thank you so much for being so open here... it helps to see humanity on this scary app often
Congratulations on your new job and wishing you the very best warmth, love and safety this Christmas time in 2020 x
Thank you Anastasia 🥰🥳 same warmth and wishes to you!!!
This was so informative and well put together. I like how clearly you explained window of tolerance, as I've seen that first hand in friends of mine with military service-related PTSD, they were all in the same incident but had quite different repercussions (some due to being injured, and others not) with some having to leave the service and others are still there to this day doing fine.
Our brains are fascinating things, and the more we learn about how they work and what we can do to support people who've been through trauma (other than, you know, helping avoid it in the first place!) The better we can make everything really
My ex-step-mom abused me for 6 years and when I was 4 a clown costume scared my soul out of me and that's where my fear of clowns came from, now I can't go to circuses without being terrified
Thank you for making this video, we all got into a discussion about trauma, mostly about emotional abuse and neglect that we faced when we were young. When I was seven years old, both my best friend and our family dog passed away. That was another issue. We really appreciate the work you put into this video, thank you. 💖
Thank you for sharing and supporting 💖
Honestly I'd be very interested in the full 30 minutes. Not that I'm askin you to upload that footage but in case you worried bout the length of video bein intimidatin or there not bein interest, I feel there would be interest n you're engagin enough for a long video to not be off-puttin. Cheers for this. - Valen
Thank you for the feedback Valen 😊💖 I’ll keep that in mind!
@@MultiplicityAndMe I definitely agree. Your channel is the only one where I’d happily watch any length video because it’s equally informative, captivating, and (it may be odd) but also soothing. This channel has helped me with understanding not only my own trauma, but the trauma of other members of my family.
I did not think I would ever randomly come across another person who knew about ACEs! Without going into detail on my childhood, my score is 8/10 but I have a resilience score of 11/14. I'll be 40 in mid-November, and a few years ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD, GAD, and Depression after two instances of workplace sexual assault unlocked feelings of constant terror that I thought I left behind decades ago. My manager did nothing to keep my attacker away from me, and within two weeks there had been two instances of unwanted physical contact. I ended up in the ER with blood pressure 165/105 (I know, Jamie, lucky my heart didn't burst! The on call ordered an EKG because they thought I was having a heart attack @ 33 😱), I was diagnosed with being in a state of psychological stress, and told I could not return to work until I spoke with my primary, and a mental health professional... I never went back to that job. Then, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and degenerative disc disease. Basically, my lowest three lumbar vertebrae look like stacked upside down horseshoes (does that mean I'm super duper good luck?), and the nerves in my body are hyperactivated more than they are not. Sometimes I feel odd pin pricks, sometimes it feels like bugs are crawling on my skin, and other times it feels as though wings of fire are trying to rip through the skin of my back. I have never developed alters but I also know that the after effects of trauma manifest in different ways. I've always been a "Freezer" so maybe that is why. God bless you all, and the mission you are on to help more individuals understand that trauma should not be stigmatized. You are all just such lovely individuals, and it has been such a joy to get to know you all through your channel.
I always have this "my trauma wasn't enough" (3 on ACEs) but then I remember I was suicidal by the time I was 12 😬
@Miranda cutie animations its so not fun lmao hope you're doing better
i'm extremely sorry and hope its gotten a lot better for you. I.E you're out of that or those horrible situations.
@@victoriaspringle4873 thank you
Thank you so much for discussing this topic. From what I remember, trauma that I have been through has been a debate on whether or not it was actually traumatic. Since starting therapy with a psychologist, I’ve found that I am more damaged than I even realised and have to start at square one with building up my foundations for recovery. Your videos are so refreshing and soothing. Thanks and Smilies!
Thank you so much! No matter who debates it, if it was enough for you then it was enough 💖 I hope you manage to get through and heal
MultiplicityAndMe Thank you. I’m working on the healing slowly.