Thank you. It is nice to know that we (my husband and I ) are not the only Christian parents who use some tough love to teach our children valuable life lessons while they are young.
And I love that I've met so many amazing and loving mamas through the comments that also use some tough love :) It's been so encouraging to me! Thanks for watching and commenting, Ashley
Fellow “mean mom” here! 😉 I’m so happy to hear this message from you today! It can be lonely (and exhausting!) being the mom who feels like she’s constantly saying no, especially when so many other parents seem to, for better or worse, make a habit of saying yes.
Your channel has truly been an answer to my prayers. I’ve been binge watching your videos. Thank you for sharing such great content with other mamas out there! You are truly appreciated 🙏
Same!!! I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old! I’ve been praying for guidance and lots of parenting advice! I’ve been watching videos! Thank you so much!
You GO GIRL!! Yesss!!! Soooo nice that I’m not the only mama who is stern and trying to raise kids that are not entitled! I’m not always successful but I do my best!!
I am a kindergarten Montessori teacher, and your "tough love" tune with me and makes sense to raise independent kids that can be grateful, appreciative. You inspire me, Shirley🌺🌺🌷🌷 Could you please talk on another video on how to teach kids set boundaries for themselves? I've seen in siblings' rivalry when some kids do not know how to fairly and respectfully defend themselves.
I really needed to hear this. My husband has mentioned I needed to be a little tougher on our kids, and while I’ve been trying, I appreciate your at-home examples! ❤️
Love this! I am totally guilty of catering to my kids when they didn’t get what they want. It’s not what I want to do but Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.🤦🏼♀️ I love your strategy! I picked up a phrase from my sister- “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” I just need to work on consistency. 😊
Thank you for having a channel. God has put you on here for me. (Maybe other moms too ☺️) please keep up the videos. I learn so much from you. I don’t know anyone this transparent.
This is my heart exactly. I fear for children raised without this teaching. They'll be adults one day and they'll bring this attitude of entitlement and fit-throwing with them. I think it's often easier to give in and let them have what they want, when they want it, how they want it...but as parents, we would do our children a disservice to cater to their every whim. There's nothing in the world wrong with serving your family, but I believe you're neglecting them if you do too much for them...which sounds crazy! The toughest love we've ever dished out was a day when my boys had been given the job of picking up their room and they played and played and played. I reminded them several times through the day that they were supposed to be working. I explained to them that if they would just finish the job, they could move on to other things and have free time, but they kept getting distracted by the toys. What was really a small mess had them "busy" literally all day long. Eventually it was supper time, and my husband and I concocted a plan. He went and picked up pizza (the boys' favorite, and a real treat for us) on the way home. I called the family to the table and only set out plates for me and my husband. Then he opened the Bible and read the verse about if any would not work, neither should he eat. Then he blessed the food and my husband and I started eating. The boys just sat there and stared at us. One of them asked if he could get out plates for the kids and my husband explained the verse to them. We made them sit and watch us eat until we were finished. Fat tears streamed down all three of their little faces and that was hard on me and daddy, too. There was nothing wrong with the pizza, but I couldn't enjoy it for my heart breaking at their shocked faces. Eventually, we finished and sent the boys again to clean up their room. About ten minutes later, they were sitting at the table with pizza on their plates.
I love Life is not fair because this is a valuable life lesson to learn, the earlier you learn it the easier life will be. I think it goes hand in hand with gratitude. Comparing is the thief of joy, being grateful for the life you have been given makes life more joyful. Also #5, I only have 2 kids and still have a hard time keeping up. My husband and I are not the most organized or clean people but I am really seeing the value of it now that we have 2 young children running around. I am trying to get into the habit of cleaning as I go and teaching the kids to do the same.
I say that to my oldest girls all the time..."Comparison is the thief of joy", love it! And it is TOUGH trying to stay organized with two little ones running around! Give yourself lots of grace in this season! Hugs!
Such a great talk! I completely agree with how you do things and have found some great inspiration and gained more confidence from you. I especially love the part about gratitude, something I have never really known how to go about. Thank you 😊
I am so glad to have found your channel. I loved the wisdom in your videos. One thing we try to encourage our kids to do is to eat everything, even things that aren't their favourite food. xx
These were great! I’m constantly going back and forth between, “That’s okay, let kids be kids...” and then way over to “No way, this is NOT okay, you need to be more responsible than this!” Overall, I’d say I’m a tough mom. Love some of these phrases, I might be stealing them. 😁 I definitely use “Suck it up, buttercup!”
I'm so glad to hear you say Suck it up, buttercup! I was worried about including that in the video ;) Steal away! I am always stealing ideas from other mamas
The Lords anointing shows through your in every single one of your videos you share! I love your videos, and know and believe they come for the Lord. ❤
Amen to all of them!! You’re such a blessing, may God continue to use your wisdom to share about motherhood and parenting and life! I use very similar vocabulary as you!!! I’m from Brazil! I also tell my kids that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
Definitely a tough Mom. I tend to say what I'm expecting rather than what I'm not. I find that making the expectation clear reinforces the why so that I don't have to hear that all day. I also want them to understand the power of NO when used. Love this topic.
I say a lot of those things too and totally agree about the entitlement boom in our society. :) I only have kids who are 5, 3 & one on the way, so you definitely speak with a lot more experience. I’m not afraid to say “because I told you to & I love you” in certain situations because I know the Lord has asked me to do things out of obedience/trust rather than understanding the whole picture & I want my kids to have that ability to have faith in someone who loves them. Of course it’s not always my answer as I know kids are very curious. 🙂 💜
Ah! That is a great point! We don't always have time to explain why we are requiring something of them...ex: when I ask them to stop in a parking lot. Obedience first then an explanation can come later! Love that :)
I'm so glad you can relate, Jessica! Posting this video has let me know I'm not the only one dishing out some tough love!! Why doesn't my laptop let me use emoji's?! I would totally give you a fist-bump, ha! :)
Thank you for this video! I needed ro hear these things and that im not alone in being "mean". Can you give some advice for tantrum throughing 3 year olds? I need more help in that department
Ha my kids keep asking and asking. Suck it up is totally fine🤣I usually tell my kids (WHEN THEY WHINE) I can’t hear you when you talk like that. Seems to work.
Oh yes. I always try to talk with them about their response, and it's usually in the form of questions... Was is a Godly response? How could they have responded better/differently? I like for them to process rather than me just tell them :)
I am only in college but when I become a father, my kids will not get away with anything especially when it comes to obedience and whining/complaining. I am a heavy believer with structure for all ages such as no technology until all of your responsibilities such as homework and chores are completed.
Thank you. It is nice to know that we (my husband and I ) are not the only Christian parents who use some tough love to teach our children valuable life lessons while they are young.
And I love that I've met so many amazing and loving mamas through the comments that also use some tough love :) It's been so encouraging to me! Thanks for watching and commenting, Ashley
Fellow “mean mom” here! 😉 I’m so happy to hear this message from you today! It can be lonely (and exhausting!) being the mom who feels like she’s constantly saying no, especially when so many other parents seem to, for better or worse, make a habit of saying yes.
haha! Love it! Mean moms unite! ;)
This is wonderful! I am working on gratitude with my 7 year old daughter lately - the gift of contentment!
That is awesome starting then young sets them up for great habits 😊
Your channel has truly been an answer to my prayers. I’ve been binge watching your videos. Thank you for sharing such great content with other mamas out there! You are truly appreciated 🙏
Oh my goodness, Joanna. It's comments like yours that make the hours of prep/filming/editing each week worth it. Thank you!! xo
Same!!! I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old! I’ve been praying for guidance and lots of parenting advice! I’ve been watching videos! Thank you so much!
You GO GIRL!! Yesss!!! Soooo nice that I’m not the only mama who is stern and trying to raise kids that are not entitled! I’m not always successful but I do my best!!
I am a kindergarten Montessori teacher, and your "tough love" tune with me and makes sense to raise independent kids that can be grateful, appreciative. You inspire me, Shirley🌺🌺🌷🌷 Could you please talk on another video on how to teach kids set boundaries for themselves? I've seen in siblings' rivalry when some kids do not know how to fairly and respectfully defend themselves.
I really needed to hear this. My husband has mentioned I needed to be a little tougher on our kids, and while I’ve been trying, I appreciate your at-home examples! ❤️
Great video. I agree with the things you said. Parenting is tough love sometimes, but always with accepting arms.
So glad you took away that the most important piece of tough love is the "love" part :)
Love this! I am totally guilty of catering to my kids when they didn’t get what they want. It’s not what I want to do but Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.🤦🏼♀️
I love your strategy!
I picked up a phrase from my sister- “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” I just need to work on consistency. 😊
Consistency is so hard! I just have 2 kids and also find myself catering too much without even realizing😳 love these ideas!! Very helpful!
Yes, consistency is key. They will prove your choice but in the long term they learn to appreciate it.
I'm so glad
Ah! I love what your sister says! Might have to steal it too ;)
I am guilty of catering to my kids as well😩
Thank you for having a channel. God has put you on here for me. (Maybe other moms too ☺️) please keep up the videos. I learn so much from you. I don’t know anyone this transparent.
This is some amazing parenting advice! Thank you! 🤍
This is my heart exactly. I fear for children raised without this teaching. They'll be adults one day and they'll bring this attitude of entitlement and fit-throwing with them. I think it's often easier to give in and let them have what they want, when they want it, how they want it...but as parents, we would do our children a disservice to cater to their every whim. There's nothing in the world wrong with serving your family, but I believe you're neglecting them if you do too much for them...which sounds crazy!
The toughest love we've ever dished out was a day when my boys had been given the job of picking up their room and they played and played and played. I reminded them several times through the day that they were supposed to be working. I explained to them that if they would just finish the job, they could move on to other things and have free time, but they kept getting distracted by the toys. What was really a small mess had them "busy" literally all day long. Eventually it was supper time, and my husband and I concocted a plan. He went and picked up pizza (the boys' favorite, and a real treat for us) on the way home. I called the family to the table and only set out plates for me and my husband. Then he opened the Bible and read the verse about if any would not work, neither should he eat. Then he blessed the food and my husband and I started eating. The boys just sat there and stared at us. One of them asked if he could get out plates for the kids and my husband explained the verse to them. We made them sit and watch us eat until we were finished. Fat tears streamed down all three of their little faces and that was hard on me and daddy, too. There was nothing wrong with the pizza, but I couldn't enjoy it for my heart breaking at their shocked faces. Eventually, we finished and sent the boys again to clean up their room. About ten minutes later, they were sitting at the table with pizza on their plates.
Ha!! That is awesome, lesson learned 😉
I love Life is not fair because this is a valuable life lesson to learn, the earlier you learn it the easier life will be. I think it goes hand in hand with gratitude. Comparing is the thief of joy, being grateful for the life you have been given makes life more joyful. Also #5, I only have 2 kids and still have a hard time keeping up. My husband and I are not the most organized or clean people but I am really seeing the value of it now that we have 2 young children running around. I am trying to get into the habit of cleaning as I go and teaching the kids to do the same.
I say that to my oldest girls all the time..."Comparison is the thief of joy", love it! And it is TOUGH trying to stay organized with two little ones running around! Give yourself lots of grace in this season! Hugs!
Such a great talk! I completely agree with how you do things and have found some great inspiration and gained more confidence from you. I especially love the part about gratitude, something I have never really known how to go about. Thank you 😊
Oh my goodness, Jacquie! Thank you so much for such an encouraging comment! It blesses me to know that my videos have been an encouragement to you
Thank you for this message. I love your youtube messages. Keep up the great work.
Love this so much. It's amazing how entitlement can show even at 3 years old. I nip it in the bud right away! Hard work but SO worth it!!
YES! Good job, mama :)
I use all of these and I'm so happy to hear other moms doing the same👍
Makes me happy to hear other moms do the same too! :)
I am so glad to have found your channel. I loved the wisdom in your videos. One thing we try to encourage our kids to do is to eat everything, even things that aren't their favourite food. xx
Ah, yes! The food battle is also real in our home :) Thanks so much for watching and commenting, Gabi
These were great! I’m constantly going back and forth between, “That’s okay, let kids be kids...” and then way over to “No way, this is NOT okay, you need to be more responsible than this!” Overall, I’d say I’m a tough mom. Love some of these phrases, I might be stealing them. 😁 I definitely use “Suck it up, buttercup!”
I'm so glad to hear you say Suck it up, buttercup! I was worried about including that in the video ;) Steal away! I am always stealing ideas from other mamas
The Lords anointing shows through your in every single one of your videos you share! I love your videos, and know and believe they come for the Lord. ❤
You can't know how much this blesses me. Thank you
I love this so much. I believe that the world is the way it is because tough love is in such short supply.
Thanks Kimberly :) I agree!
This is so great! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much, Amber! :)
Ohhhhhhhh i love the third rule!!!!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
Actually i really love all of these!!!!!!
I love these! I'm totally going to start using you just gotta cowboy/cowgirl up 🤠
We always use, "Do the hard things, Girl! You're strong enough. Do the hard things."
Love it!!!!
LOVE YOU!!! This was awesome!
Aww! Thanks for watching and for leaving such a sweet comment
Amen to all of them!! You’re such a blessing, may God continue to use your wisdom to share about motherhood and parenting and life! I use very similar vocabulary as you!!! I’m from Brazil! I also tell my kids that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
Ah, that's a good one! The world truly does not revolve around them ;)
Thanks for sharing. You say it in a nicer way I think, but I’ve heard before, “Get what you get and don’t pitch a fit” :)
Definitely a tough Mom. I tend to say what I'm expecting rather than what I'm not. I find that making the expectation clear reinforces the why so that I don't have to hear that all day. I also want them to understand the power of NO when used. Love this topic.
Thanks! I so appreciate you watching! Setting clear expectations I think is huge! :)
I love saying “suck it up buttercup” I’m a “mean mom” too😉
This is great! I'm meeting so many fellow "mean moms"...haha! :) Thanks for watching Brittany!
😉 sounds like our home ❤️
Thank you for this video!
I say a lot of those things too and totally agree about the entitlement boom in our society. :) I only have kids who are 5, 3 & one on the way, so you definitely speak with a lot more experience. I’m not afraid to say “because I told you to & I love you” in certain situations because I know the Lord has asked me to do things out of obedience/trust rather than understanding the whole picture & I want my kids to have that ability to have faith in someone who loves them. Of course it’s not always my answer as I know kids are very curious. 🙂
💜
Ah! That is a great point! We don't always have time to explain why we are requiring something of them...ex: when I ask them to stop in a parking lot. Obedience first then an explanation can come later! Love that :)
Yes girl, yes!!! I feel like we would be soul sisters in real life! 😂🙌🏻❤
I'm so glad you can relate, Jessica! Posting this video has let me know I'm not the only one dishing out some tough love!! Why doesn't my laptop let me use emoji's?! I would totally give you a fist-bump, ha! :)
Shirley- how do you stay so seemingly positive?? I have been really struggling with that.
💕💕💕
lol these are the best
Thank you for this video! I needed ro hear these things and that im not alone in being "mean". Can you give some advice for tantrum throughing 3 year olds? I need more help in that department
I always tell my little boy to "Suck it up buttercup" and my husband says "Life's tough, get a helmet" And he's not even two yet, haha.
"Life's tough, get a helmet"....lol!! I absolutely love that!! Going to have to steal it and maybe do a part 2 to this video! ha! ;)
Haha life’s tough get s helmet😂😂😂GREAT👍🏻
Ha my kids keep asking and asking. Suck it up is totally fine🤣I usually tell my kids (WHEN THEY WHINE) I can’t hear you when you talk like that. Seems to work.
Ah! I'm pretty sure I've said that myself before! :)
How do you deal with the melt down afterwords? How do you talk to them about it?
Oh yes. I always try to talk with them about their response, and it's usually in the form of questions... Was is a Godly response? How could they have responded better/differently? I like for them to process rather than me just tell them :)
@@ThisBlendedHouse thank you so much! I will do that!!💖🙏
I agree 100000000000%
YES
:)
Watching this is making me really sad and seeing how I have been a sucky mom pray for me that I would be a mom God has called me to be.
I am only in college but when I become a father, my kids will not get away with anything especially when it comes to obedience and whining/complaining. I am a heavy believer with structure for all ages such as no technology until all of your responsibilities such as homework and chores are completed.
What do you do when your child REFUSES to do what they are told?
I discipline them :) But we discipline them because we love them and know that it is so important that they learn the value of obedience and respect.
@@ThisBlendedHouse what does discipline mean to you? Spanking or natural consequence?