MY PERSONAL JOURNEY TO PARENTING A STRONG-WILLED CHILD
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- This video is not advice, it's not tips, it's simply my personal story and journey to parenting a child who has been rather strong-willed. I share from my heart my experiences and how our family has chosen to handle this special and precious little world-changer that God has blessed us with.
I came across a quote saying "my child isn't giving me a hard time, they are having a hard time"
That's really stuck with me, especially parenting my rebellious 14yr old.
I love this!! Thanks for sharing!
I absolutely MUST remember this.
It's a miracle I found this I was at my lowest point today because my 4 year old son is so strong willed I am physically and mentally exhausted my husband gives in too easily and I am left with the discipline this makes my son choose his father over me I feel like such a failure its coming to a point where our marriage is on the rocks
I’m in tears watching this. Your daughter sounds exactly like mine. All the way to the baby stage of constant crying and no sleep for the first year. My second child is an angel. Thanks for your kind words
I have a VERY strong willed child. I was one and so was my husband. But yes strong willed children are VERY committed as adults. It's very hard. They just need to feel in control and it's important to find things they can control
Bless you for this video! I literally sat down and cried yesterday because one of my children. Just so happened when I woke up this morning this was in my feed!
God is so good to send encouragement our way when we need it most! It made me so happy to read this
This was very encouraging! I have a strong willed child also. It was very reassuring to hear some of the ways you handle the meltdowns. I am guilty of reacting out of frustration and I love the idea of just deciding “I’m not going to let this child steal my joy.”
Getting upset only makes it worse anyway. 😬
I also send my daughter to her room to calm down. It lets me calm down and gives me time to seek help from the Lord.
However, I have had times when she takes advantage of “room time” to get out of doing homeschool. I always have to be on my toes, she knows how to manipulate and sometimes I don’t even see it! 🤦🏼♀️
I pray that these strong qualities can be used for Gods glory someday! He is definitely using them to teach me!! 😊
Ah! My girl can be sneaky in that way, too! Ha! I just know He is going to use these strong qualities in them one day! Hugs
Thank you so much for your video. it made me cry.
Yes, same here!!
I'm crying while I watch, I have a 3 year old little boy who I struggle so much with. I love him so much!!
Im just coming across this video. I was feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed dealing with my kids especially my strong willed toddler. The feeling of defeat set over me and I told the Lord that I just don’t feel cut out for this mom role anymore. I believe this video was an answer to prayer. Your words truly spoke to my heart and opened my eyes to why my child is so strong willed. Thank you for being such a blessing to other moms! God bless you!
Wow. I needed this so much, don't stop with these videos please, they're a real encouragement. I have 1 child so far & she's almost 2. Very strong willed & stubborn & knows what she wants. I've been very tough & as you put it, a wall that is unmovable in front of her, but lately I've been second guessing myself if I'm parenting correctly, but you put it into perspective, I NEED to be her wall & cultivate the qualities God has given her. Recently I started sending her to her room until she calms down & it does work, including the apology, though your wording is so beautiful.
This video is truly a blessing!! I have been praying about how to address my son's behavior. I say constantly, his strong will is great for a 40 year old, but not a 4 year old. Your video has made me change my mind about that a little. We need to do more teaching him how to channel that strong will for good. He has such amazing qualities, but there are times when he gets overwhelmed with his emotions and we need to teach him how to control those. I LOVE that you followed God's guidance and it inspires me to do the same!
I have a 4 year old who is so strong willed, always high emotion, loses it when he doesn't have my attention constantly, etc. I've been feeling like such a failure as a mom because nothing I do or say seems to help. His little brother is the opposite (like you mentioned yours). Even at 2 he will share pretty much anything if ever asked or even if not, he has never once hurt his baby sister always brings her a toywhen she's sad or gives her a kiss, etc. He is compassionate, thoughtful, sweet. And I'm just over here feeling like I've failed my 4yo somehow. This was so eye opening and I'm feeling a sense of relief having something new to try and help him. I'm so thankful, praise God that he brought me to this channel to find these words. This video and your obedience video (the kid friendly definition) are both hopefully going to be enormously helpful to us in this season of 3 kids 4 and under. God bless you and your family 💕
This was beautiful, thank you for sharing 🙏🏽🥲💗. As a mom of a naturally born strong-willed, independent, child who is now a teenager (16) I was brought to tears as you helped me remember those difficult early years when I wondered how this little adult was trapped in a toddler's body. Once she was old enough to have control over several things in her life and her schedule, she became a delight, after being so difficult since birth. She showed strength, resilience and maturity, and even now I see that nothing sways her (which is such a blessing during these years of peer pressure, which I see my "easy" child struggle with) whether it's "cool" or not. I'm leaning on this remembrance to get us through these difficult teen years as that difficult child she once was comes out yet again. I realize that as she is once again in a position of wanting to be more independent than she can be at the moment. I see this as frustration coming out for the independent person she has wanted to be since birth, and it gives me hope for the strong and unwavering woman of God she is on her way to becoming. Praying for and with all you mommas of strong willed children, and thank you again for such a beautiful video. God bless you. 🙏🏽
I have a highly emotionally intense child and I struggle with the balance between teaching him to hold himself responsible for his reactions (versus his emotions) and being there with him in those intense moments. I want him to know I'm there for him but that he cannot unilaterally bull doze everyone over with those emotions.
Thank you for this! My older son, my 8 year old, is my strong-willed one. I will confess that there have been times where I've felt like a failure, even though we have been pretty intentional with discipline and correction. I think it's something that people don't understand unless they've been through it.
Thank you! My first has a strong will, and he's 5. His 3 year old sister is the one who was born peaceable, calm, polite, naturally thoughtful. Thanks for sharing your tips and encouragement!
Isn't it funny how we can parent our kids the same but they can be so different!? I'm so happy to hear the video was an encouragement to you! Thanks so much for watching and commenting, Alina!
Lady I came across this video at the right time.... Feeling defeated, like I am a failure. The one thing I always wanted the most is to have happy kids and be a good mom. But along ce my strong willed daughter. Thank you for your wise words of encouragement. God bless you.
Thank you for such a sensible and balanced view and approach. And especially the encouragement at the end. I have an extremely strong-willed and amazing child. I love her to pieces, but she pushes and challenges me to my limit every day. It is so frustrating and disheartening when people judge. I have heard from total strangers in stores, well she needs to hear "no" sometime... like I had never said no, and that's why she acted the way she did! She came out of the womb kicking and screaming! I could even sense that there was something different about her when I was carrying her... and yet I know I am blessed. She is very empathetic, intelligent, and special. She knows what she wants and I'm sure has a great purpose in store for her. Thanks again for perspective and encouragement.
Wow. Amen! This was so so encouraging. My oldest is 4 and shares a room with her 2 year old sister and I see some of her behavior rubbing off on her and she is very strong-willed and very loud as well. Thank you for sharing the evidence of God in your parenting and in your children. I know He hears my pleads but sometimes it’s just so hard. I actually decided to watch this video as she was having a meltdown because I could feel my reaction rising and needed to escape that urge!
I am so thankful I found your channel! This video was so encouraging to me! I have been feeling so lost with my only child who is so extremely strong willed when it comes to school! I loose my cool all the time with him and I constantly feel like a bully! I feel like kindergarten should be fun and exciting but really it's just been a constant fight! I am grateful to think this could be a gift he has that will enable him to serve God in great ways but I'm terrified that I'm going to crush his spirt rather than train him effectively! Thank you again! God Bless
My goodness!! This is exactly what I needed to hear today!! Thank you!! Thank God that he called you to share this!!
thank you for the big hug! the Lord has blessed me with 2 difficult children and your video has been a great help.
You described my kid to a T!
Thanks for this video. I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m glad I can stop thinking I’m a terrible mom and it’s all my fault.
I literally tracked down my log in information to “like” and subscribe to how perfect this video was. Thank you for this, you’re a gift and spoke directly to me!!
I stumbled across your channel today, not even searching for “parenting” style videos (it was actually your camper video I found), but this headline caught my attention. I just want to say thank you, genuinely. This video could not have come at a more trying season for myself and my strong willed 2 year old daughter. I know wholeheartedly God put you in my path today because I needed to hear every bit of this. I’m so grateful for this video!
It never gets old receiving these kinds of comments. It's crazy...I've been seeing so much traffic lately from the camper video! It's been neat to see God using a video that isn't even "parenting" related to get so many sweet mamas to visit my channel
Thank you so much for this video! Probably 2 of my 4 girls are this way, but 1 of those stands out as more difficult. You described her perfectly! I always tell myself God must have huge plans for her, but in the moment-it is TOUGH. I appreciate you more than you know! Your heart reflects God in all you say and do in your videos!
Wow I’m so glad I saw this today! It was the first video that popped up on my UA-cam screen and I am currently dealing with this with my 8 year old. God knew that I needed to hear this today.
This was such a blessing to me today! I have a very strong willed 7yo. Strong from birth just like yours! I am encouraged by your words and look forward to using the phrases you mentioned that have helped your strong willed child learn to have self control💗 thank you!
Something what really helped me to understand people and how they think was the 4 types of personalities. Some people are goal oriented and forget about feelings and some people don't care about goal but only about relationships. It actually really helped me to understand my husband and how I can serve him better. We are all created different by God for different purposes.
God used you here, I have one of those and it is exhausting. By God’s grace I survive every day with him. 🙏🏽 but he is the sweetest!!!
I am so so glad that you were able to find some encouragement in this video! Thankful with you for God's amazing grace! :)
Same
Wow...thank you so much for this!! God has used you to help me get some of the tools I need to handle my strong willed child. I’ve been so frustrated lately and I literally got goosebumps listening to some of the things you shared. God bless you! Came across your channel a few weeks ago and just love your content. Hope you keep posting!
You are a God send!! Thank you for sharing this, so funny I went on here to get some tips about my child's reactions and realized a lot of the issue is my own actions and anger. I'm not only going to share these things with my strong willed child, I will apply these tips for myself as well to get some more peace in our home. Most of the time I am calm, but my strong willed child is VERY resistant and a lot like your child and gets angry when he doesn't get his way. The quote "Control your emotions and don't let your emotions control you." WOW so awesome!! Thank you and praise God!! I will continue to pray and ask God for peace in our home and to help me be the best parent I can be for him!! I will not let him steal my joy and I will send him to his room and pray for him and I at the same time!
Thank you for this! So encouraging and helpful! I love all your suggestions! Going to rewatch and take notes & post on my fridge as a reminder for the many moments I need to keep practicing and growing my patience while gently encouraging my "strong willed blessing" 💕 God Bless you Mama!
Thank you for sharing! I have a son and I am in this boat right now. Love your take on this.
Thank you sooooo much for sharing this. Your description of your daughter was so exact to mine that they could be literally the same person. She is 12 years old now and I have not found any christian parenting tips to help parent her better. With Gods help I'd managed to be guided into what she needed from me rather than be frustrated all the time. So many things you said about how you felt were so close to my own experiene. So very grateful and keeping sharing. Lord bless you and keep you.
Hi, 😊 I just discovered your videos and I am so thankful. I'm in a season right now where I am just researching, and studying and soaking up all the info and advise I can on how to be a good christian mom. ♥️ your videos are so helpful and I excpecially love this one. Both my children are very strong willed! my 4 year old daughter a little more so than my 5 year old son, 😬🤪♥️ but I'm learning, not only how to discipline and redirect them but also how to accept the little wonderful people that God has intentionally created them to be! Thank you for allowing our Father to use you in the way He does. Your videos are very clear and nicely put together I'm excited to start following your channel. May God bless you and your family. 😊♥️
Wow thank you SO much for sharing this! I have a tough kiddo and literally haven't known what to do. But as I listened I realized again that I need to make a choice to stop reacting, especially in anger and yelling. I have not been a person who yelled at anyone really until this kiddo came. And i love her, truly, and I've been super exhausted. So thank you this was so helpful and refreshing. 😊👍
This is SO good! Thank you for your perspective. My 3rd child was my strong willed one. So unlike my first 2. The first time she threw herself on the floor because she didn't get her way, I was shocked! I was parenting the same way that I had with my other 2 so this was a whole new ballgame for me. 😊 something I read that encouraged me was along the lines of what your friend said to you,and that was that "the beauty of a strong willed child is that they are strong willed" so if we can direct that child to be strong willed in the right direction, they will do great things for the Lord! Good job mama!
Hey Jennifer! I was smiling reading your comment...that's how I felt about discovering the personality of the little firecracker God blessed me with after the first 3 "mild tempered" children I had...haha! I was so surprised! I love that simple quote so much!! Yes! Thanks so much for watching and commenting. Hugs!
@@ThisBlendedHouse 😊💕
Just started following your channel. New to homeschooling and I’ve loved every video I’ve watched. Thank you!
Ohhh my you are a God sent. You are literally describing my baby. She is about to make make 2 years. I do not know how many times I have broken down and cried for God's help, because of her behaviour. Thank you.
I’m so happy I came across your video. It is very encouraging! I am currently dealing with a strong Willed 2 year. It is very difficult at times. My other 3 children were very easy going and laid back. My husband and I have been trying to figure out how to deal with her feelings. She will literally scream at the top of her lungs, fall out, have meltdowns and so on. I will Definitely be using your tips.
Thanks for your transparency and sharing your details on how to work through. Wow, I can totally relate to you with my oldest son. I'm encouraged to continue working with him.
I just needed this .thank you sooooo much for sharing this. Can't thank you enough
Loved this message! I’m going to implement some of the things you say to your daughter in response to my own strong-willed child. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!
I'm so thankful you found something you think might be helpful! Thanks for watching and commenting, Lauren
Thanks for this sincere sharing and your toolbox phrases. Will try with my boys!!!!
Thank you! This made me cry. I have a strong willed 7 year old girl. This was so refreshing to listen to! ❤️🥰
I just found you and am so happy I have! I have a sweet but determined little spirted child. I just love your perspective and advice!
Came back to watch this again on our first day of homeschool (my 5th year.) Its been a tough day because of my strong willed child’s tantrums. Thankful for your encouragement Shirley 💕
I NEEDED to see this video today, thank you!!
OMGGGG this is my 4yr old. She will be a Boss CEO for sure.
That's weird. I thought that you were going to talk about YOUR experience but, you ended up telling about mine! You even have a son similar to mine! Wow! 🤗 😥 Thank you for sharing Our story😊! God is our Father and He has been leading us, His daughters in very similar ways. My daughter is a teen right now and it's still a uphill ride but, God is faithful and as I lay my burdens and perplexities before Him, I am learning that she is God's creation and I am trusting that He has her even when I grow weary or feel doubtful of a hopeful end. He will redeem her heart with His majestic relentless. I have claimed the promises of God in her life and to date, God has NEVER failed me. Blessings and hope to all parents in the struggle. Godspeed.
Wonderful advice! Thank you! The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle has helped me better understand my “hard” children. Your daughter sounds like a type 3...I have one of those too!
Thank you for the video. It helps me a lot I was going crazy with my 7-year-old son he's also a strong-willed kid.
Thank you so much, this was a blessing in regards to my 5 year old daughter
I needed this video so bad today. I have a 4 year old that is strong willed. As I am that way I can see it will get him far like it has for me. But as his parent right now it’s hard. Especially today has been.
I know this was a year ago but this video has so much God - given wisdom /encouragement I had to comment. I saw a couple of your other homeschooling videos and everything looks so perfect the thought crossed my mind when I saw the title that 'what could she know about strong willed children?' So it's amazing after watching this video to be so encouraged by the 'words of wisdom' to be able to speak to my child in those 'difficult' moments. Thank you for sharing and God bless!
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear. 💓
I'm so so glad, Jessica! xo
This is exactly my daughter!!! I thought I was going crazy!!!!please make more videos😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
This is so good, I've been at the end of my ropes with my oldest.
As you talk about your 1 difficult child out of 5, I want to cry. I have 1 easy child out of 4. Most likely having adopted all of them and their trauma contributes to that greatly. I will say, I have not been able to manage to be calm and collected all, or even most, of the time. Hopefully I’ll get there someday. Parenting has definitely been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Each of my kids are so different and I love them all. But it can be so exhausting so much of the time.
Thank you for sharing. I have a strong willed child some much of what you have said I feel like I go through and have been struggling with what else to do. This was encouraging.
Thank you so much for this video. It was like you were describing one of my girls to a T. I often let her steal my personal joy & peace, and I need to stop. Thank you for all your tips. I also had a teacher, also my co-worker, tell me once that God will use my little girl's personality for His glory & purposes and that has helped tremendously also! God bless!
Amen
Thank you for the awesome advice!
Your videos are such a blessing. May God keep blessing you always 💕
Sounds like you have a Rosebush child, Shirley! I have one of those too! Read Hettie Brittz’s book “Growing Kids with Character.” It will bless you so much and be such a tool as your kids grow older.
Ahh! I love book recommendations! Thank you so much, Anna! xo
Wow wow wow I needed this so much 😭 thank you bless you!
Oh my goodness. Thankyou so much. I have three, possibly four strong willed children!! 🙏
Hugs mama...you got this! xo
Thank you for this video 🙏🏽😭
I needed this, thank you mama. ❤️ My 5 year old son is a LOT. I love him to death, but it definitely has been a looooong season and I’m not sure where the end is, lol! But I agree, it helps so much to take a Christian perspective. Our children should help to sanctify us, so I can praise God for that growth. Even if I need about a 10th of your patience! Lol
I LOVE your point about not taking so much personal responsibility for difficult behavior. Of course there’s more I could do to raise him better - I’m nowhere near perfect! BUT I also know that there are some things I do not have the power to change and it’s okay to just accept grace and mercy.
God led me straight here. Thank you dear sweet sister❤
This is so good. Thank you!
Thank you for this video !
Thank you! Such a encouraging video!
Thank you for this video, I can relate to every bit of it and I really need to hear all of it right now
It makes me so so happy to hear that it has been an encouragement to you. Hugs mama. With God, you got this
Thanks for sharing! Luv this
Im going to try your tips !!!
Affection. Lots and lots and lots of affection. Especially if your strong willed child is a girl. My very first child was a strong willed girl and like you said, right from the very start she was different. I had helped raise my eight cuddly baby brothers, so having this child who as a newborn thought she was an adult, tried to control me by screaming if I sat down when holding her, didn't want to be cuddled when nursing, etc was a real shock to my system. However, I told myself that babies aren't born knowing what love is, only I can teach her. I gave her affection at every possible opportunity on her terms, I nursed her through my entire second pregnancy because I was pregnant only three months after her, and I nursed her for another month after my second was born. Oftentimes she would scream to be nursed but wasn't interested in bonding, she would look around the room at absolutely anything but me. Because she had such a bulldozer personality I kept telling myself these words "She needs her connection to the feminine through me", and I kept nursing her and cuddling her, again, not forcing it on her for my sake but guiding her. Now she is the sweetest, most affectionate toddler who draws the attention of people when we're out in public by spontaneously hugging and kissing me. Her strong willed personality is still there, but the affection acts like a tranquilizer on it. But again it has to be done for them, with respect for their moods, not for you or it won't have the same effect. Not saying this about you, just as a commentary, there is so much focus on what to do when faced with a conflict or problem but not enough focus on what kind of connection you have to work with going into it!
SO needed this, thank you!!
You are so sweet, Amber! Thanks for watching and commenting...so encouraging
God knows exactly how to use the very things in us and our children that we see as weaknesses. His strength is made perfect, and with wisdom we gain the tools to set clear boundaries with a heart of love.
Yes!! :)
I know this video is old but i just recently came across your channel and been watching your videos alot. I specifically love this one. I currently have really tough strong willed 4 year old and it can be so hard to parent her i often feel at my whits end with this one. Shes also my oldest so i feel like she gave me a negative outlook on parenting :(
thank you!!
Omg! God blessed you & your family. I have a boy with the same problem he is head strong he is only 9 talking back and being disrespectful and challenging attitude. It's hard!😭😭😭
Thank you for sharing your story and help on this. I love my strong willed kid so much but I’m such a shy introverted person he “embarrasses” me in public bc I feel I’m being judged by how he is. I have 3 older girls who are so well behaved so I know it’s not my parenting and I often wonder where I went wrong but what you said about not taking so much responsibility in that helps so much. I will work on those phrases as well.
I promised myself if I ever see another parent with a strong willed kid at any point in my life I will be sure to offer her a hug and and other advice to help her not feel alone.
I'm having a hard time with my oldest son. He is 13 almost 14 in less than a month. He doesn't live with me all the time, and I have changed by the grace of God. This has helped thanks. I need more help any advice will help.
You are the best!!!!!!!
Thank you!! I completely relate to this!! My 4 year old is so strong willed, & is exactly like how you described your child. & I feel like I can try so hard & understand her, & try to be patient with her🥰, & other times i feel like i lose it!😱 I love her so much, & I love that she's her own person & a free spirit. But I want so bad to learn how to handle her emotions & meltdowns better, & I'm sure that's by me not having one with her😂
Thanks for sharing
Thats so funny. What your friend told you is what I was thinking when you were explaining her strong willed personality.
Such encouraging words
I'm so glad you were able to find encouragement. Hugs!!
Thank you for this video
Thank you for this!
Thanks for watching! :)
I have two children, my youngest boy is the same... im always trying to find more patients!❤❤
My daughter sounds a lot like yours, except mine is also ADHD w/ dyslexia. She loves to negotiate. Lol. Times are interesting with her.
Your daughter sounds so much like my son. My daughter is my unicorn. Easy pregnancy, easy birth and such a wonderfully easy child. She didn’t prepare me for my son. I struggle so much with reacting in anger and frustration vs responding. It’s a work in progress but we are both slowly improving.
Omg i feel like you describe my 7 years old son. I would like to k now more about your “ toolbox “
"this child does not have any special needs that i'm aware of"
*goes on to perfectly describe a neurodivergent child*
Ur message has been so helpful...my daughter is typically as described in ur video...we have the same struggles...but i have tried be4 the going off to ur room...n cause my daughter is soo talkative n she hates to be alone...she wants to stay around people...each tym i send her to the room...her response is NO...n i grow frustrated n loose my patience around her...am praying God helps me with ur new methods to try n see if their will b a change...i feel frustrated at tyms...she is a good girl..brilliant..intelligent...a leader...but her emotions can be over bearing at tyms
My mom could see this in my sister as well and she was.
Life is frustrating for us adults.. Just imagine what it’s like for children..
So true!
Stumbled upon this video.. and so glad I did! My almost 2 year old son is strong-willed and this video was very helpful 💗 Thank you!
I'm so glad you found some encouragement here! Whew! I absolutely remember the days with my strong-willed 2 year old!! Hugs to you, mama. You (plus Jesus) got this ;) xo
How are you not just completely exhausted?? I am and I only have two. One strong-willed 5 1/2 year old boy and one almost 4 year old girl.