HELP FOR MOMS WHO YELL | 3 Tips That May Help
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2018
- First, sorry about the footage (I'm blurry, then clear, then blurry, repeat). I'm still new and learning! ;) Today I wanted to have a heart to heart about yelling. As moms, I know we all desire to create a loving and peaceful atmosphere in our homes, right? But sometimes our sweet kiddos can push us to our limits. In this episode, I offer 3 tips that may help. (And oh no! I say 1 Corinthians 13 but it should be Galatians 5...got my Fruit of the Spirit and Love chapters mixed up ;) )
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“Children are not a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work.” CS Lewis
I have this quote framed and hung in our school room, I need the reminder many times a day!
I definitely had this conversation with my kids our first year of homeschool...I noticed because my mom yelled I yell well I told my kids I want to break that habit and that it will stop work my.. Now I'm not successful yet, but I believe that because I recgonize the issue I am at least aware and I want to see change.. Bless your heart for giving advice and information in such a loving way
Thank you so much!! I think it is so great that you recognize and desire to change that habit! You are a great mama
I feel like it was a blessing to find you. I have 4 kids under 4 and I am struggling yelling and mom guilt consistently. THIS VIDEO MADE ME SO HAPPY
I definitely, agree with the first tip. I haven’t been getting enough sleep - it’s the lack of sleep, that I have my days I yell at my precious son. I do apologize to him for yelling at him. But, I literally feel the guilt and i end up crying to God to help me. Thank you sharing these good tips. Appreciate you
Thank you. I didn’t struggle with it, till our second became a toddler. Our oldest is autistic and second boy is a strong-willed crazy boy. Some days I feel overwhelmed. But I have taped scripture to the fridge, and especially Proverbs, “the man who rules his spirit is greater than he who takes a city.” And making prayer, time for God to just speak to me has been transformative. I have asked for forgiveness for yelling occasionally, as well as putting myself in timeout (which our oldest thinks is hilarious) for bad behavior. It shows them that just because I’m adult, does not give me a pass on bad reactions, that I too, am accountable.
Michelle Dugger! YES!!! I need to go back and read their books again. When people ask me where I get my patience with my kids, I say first Jesus....then Michellle Dugger. Lol! People think I'm crazy but they are a great, biblical example of raising children to love the Lord.
This is something I've recently started struggling with and your video was a great reminder of what I should be doing instead. Thank you for this. :)
Thanks for watching and commenting! I too have been so encouraged by Michelle Duggars example
Thank you. What helps me is to literally turn into a mime. Im not playing. In order not to yell, I don't speak, I just hold up my finger like to say give me a minute, point to where they need to go sit to wait for me and then I figure out in my head how to tell them what needs to be said in a loving way. If child keep coming back or talking and i feel like im about to lose it, i just remain quite and finish what i have to do. I have even given a hug to my child, then just quietly walked into my room and shut the door. I just dont want to lose it anymore and ill do anything in order to keep from hurting child's feelings. Thank you for reading this.
Sadly, I struggle with lashing out. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I will definitely start checking my triggers and make a habit and of using a soft calm voice.
Also, which book about Michelle Duggar are you referring to?
I have both books by The Duggars "A Love that Multiplies" and "The Duggars: 20 and Counting" To be honest, I can't remember which book it was in, but the story is in one of those two! :) @@sarahathome1767
It is a habit you can absolutely change! Will take lots of practice and intentionality, but you can do it!!
Thank you
Especially During these times of quarantine I feel very short tempered towards my whole tribe. Thank you for this refresher and really taking me back to the basics.
I feel like I need you in my life. You are just so encouraging ♥️ I have a 3 year old, 18 month old, and we're praying about having a third.
I have a 2 year old, 1 year old, and an infant. It can be so challenging but honestly it gets easier the more you have. If God blesses you with a third He'll give you the grace to handle a third.
I think another reason we yell instead of using a soft, gentle voice is because we have the idea in our head that if our children aren't obeying us, we need to get "tougher" with them, and show them how serious we are. And we for some reason think that using a calm, gentle voice is too weak and won't be effective. But actually, when we are able to control our own emotions and take that higher road, that comes off as stronger and more serious to our kids than just losing it. They know. Thanks for the info!
I’m working on not being that mom that screams most of the time, out of fear, frustration or whatever it might be. I pray daily about this, with God’s strength I will/have conquered this area. You’re awesome thank you for your videos, tips and wisdom!
You are such a sweet soul. Thank you so much for sharing! Bless you.
What is helping me over come my yelling... Was God showed me that I was Traumatized as a kid from Mom’s verbal abuse. He showed me that I saw it and I was raised like that, So I myself respond to my kids a certain way. He also showed me that My mother also was traumatized & it goes far down the Family tree of Trauma. But GOD is so good in Mercy cuz he is guiding me How I should treat my Kids. And it should be the way GOD treats me as his Daughter he is Patient & kind & Loving with me But he is also a strict Father & corrects me of my Faults. I love him so Much!
This has been on my heart for months. I suffer from anxiety to begin with and I am trying so hard because I don’t want to be this mom!! I love my kids and they deserve the fruits of the Spirit from me. Thank you for this.
Hugs mama. xox
I really rested after watching your video I can't stand the feeling of being guilty towards my children when I yell at them. thank you for these golden tips. It’s my first video and I directly subscribed to you channel 🙏👍
I am so glad you posted this. My son is almost 3 and I am struggling hard with this currently. We just had our second son and my first never seems to listen unless I yell and it makes me feel like the worst mother 😭
Girl, I feel you. Mine is the same. I'm hoping these tips help! I'm sure they will since they're based in Scripture. Best of luck to both of us!
Love how you incorporate scripture into your advice! I absolutely need this in my life right now. I am loving your videos! I have 3 year old twin boys and some days are just SO hard. These videos give me a different perspective and help me keep going. Thank you!
I’ve been reading devotionals on this very issue that seems has taken over my parenting and my life, as I’m a stay at home mom. One thing I read that stuck out to me was (I forgot the lady’s name), but the author explained how we don’t expect people to yell and scream at us and when they do we feel hurt and upset and don’t respond very well, but yet we think we have the authority to do this to our own kids and expect them to respond how we want. We can’t thrive under condemnation and neither do our kids. I wish I could keep this at the forefront of my mind at all times but I know the Lord will grow me in this area, now it’s just being patient on the Lord’s timing as well! Thank you for this video and using your own experience to aid and encourage! I can feel the Holy Spirit in your videos and it’s incredibly moving.
It also helps to have a qualified family therapist to work with. I highly recommend if you have neurodivergent children (you are yourself) ADHD, OCD, ODD and major health issues like celiac in children YOU need a therapists.
I found the most amazing one, a believer, a grandma whose fruit of her family shines through.
There is no shame only joy getting help and resources. Because sometimes it’s not the parenting it’s all the other stuff.
After a year of therapy I find I naturally am calm and collected. The yelling was a symptom…
I absolutely take captive my thoughts and mediate on scripture. I even made a UA-cam play list I listen to over and over again to remind myself of His words!!!!
This is so directed towards moms but as a dad myself I find all of this helpful
I'm so glad you were able to find it helpful!
Oh, this spoke straight to my heart. Thank you for posting this!
I'm so so glad. Thanks again for watching
Those are so great. Music. I get a song in my head. That helps me, too. I like to say, I need some space and I will walk around and hum songs that I love. It really helps calm me down. It is so comforting.
Thank you so much for these words I really needed to hear it sometimes we are to busy with other things that we forget that children are blessings from God . And they are our main priority. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this- I just found your channel today, and have been so blessed by the godly wisdom you are sharing! [I even found myself taking notes during your obedience video- so much good, Christ-centered advice!]. Thank you!!
Thank you for this video!!!! During this quarantine, I have felt like I am going crazy and just becoming so impatient but, this is exactly what I needed to see and hear. For me, I'm not getting enough sleep, and I def need to continue to pray for the fruit of the spirit that is already within me to be manifested.
Thank you for sharing! You are spot on in everything. I know for me, if I’m lacking sleep, over committed, or sporadic in my time with the Lord, that is a recipe for disaster.
A soft voice makes a huge difference. Still struggling,but see the value in it daily.
Thankful for His grace upon grace when we struggle! Keep doing a great job, mama :)
God bless you! Thank you for taking the time to share this message with us. Your words are encouraging!
I just found you as I am not starting on my homeschool journey. I absolutely love this advice!! Thank you for beinga light ♥️♥️♥️
I had this verse written on paper hearts and taped up all over the house in places I would tend to “lose it”. Like the back door just as we are headed to the car. It was a great reminder. 😳
Maybe it’s time to put them up again. 😊
I love how you did that!
I yell ....a LOT....and I feel SO GUILTY. My kids seem to never take me seriously until MEAN MOM comes out and I put the fear of GOD into them. That said....thanks for this video lol. Also, what is your personal workout routine? You look amazing for having 5 kids!!!! I'd love to know your personal care/workout routine. :) God Bless!
Oh, I understand! I got to a place where I knew I needed my kids to respect me enough and know that there would be consequences when they didn't listen/obey the first time (of course there is a lot of grace in there). That helped me not have to repeat over and over and have frustration build up! And to be honest, I do NOTHING. I have always been thin naturally (it's never what my friends want to hear, ha!) I actually used to HATE it growing up, I would drink weight gainer and mix ice cream in it and see no results! But now that I'm older and have had 5 kiddos, I kinda don't mind the way God made me, lol! ;)
@@ThisBlendedHouseArrows lol bless you. You are so lucky. After my kids, I have gained 40lbs and can't seem to get it off. I would say a lot of that is due to stress. I run a business from home (graphic and web) and my company pays for the house and the car. As well as the kids fun activities. I know having this job causes me to not be able to be mom 100% and it's frustrating and it leads to yelling..and my poor kids don't get the attention I'd love to give them. It's just the place we are at right now. I'm still holding out one day my hubs will find a new job that takes care of it all! lol. Hoping and PRAYING. I hope you continue to do these videos for a long time. I'm sure you are helping thousands of Moms/homes out there. Thanks for responding so quickly!
@@ThisBlendedHouse so what exactly did you do when you got to that point? How do you change it and get them to listen and give you respect and obedience so you wouldn’t have to bring our “mean mom”?
@@CurioCreativeAgency ppl
@@ThisBlendedHouse Lucky you, and yes I slightly hate you lol, but it a loving way.
This is a huge blessing to me. I'm 58 and now I'm raising my Husband's 7yr old son, he's been with us for 2yrs. I don't have my own children.
This was so helpful! Your Chanel brings me so much encouragement 💕❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I am so encouraged by this message.
Thank you!! Your channel is such a blessing :)
Thankyou for your sharing, which remind me a lots of things which i completely forgotten about.
Wow... So happy I came across you Channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Love it! Thanks for taking the time to share 🥰.
I seriously love your channel, thank you for encouraging me❤️❤️
Oh Valerie, thank YOU for supporting, watching and taking the time to comment! xox
Great advice, thank you I needed this! Bless you, sis in Christ!
It encourages me so much to know that others are being encouraged. Hugs mama!!
this stay at home auntie thank u for your help .
I am so guilty of this at times and really try not to help. Someone in our mom's group mentioned a book she read (I don't recally who it was by) but they also said to scold/discipline with a softer voice. The example they used was...when you're in the store and your child is acting up, you're not going to yell/scream at them in the store, you're going to do it in a softer voice because other people are around. If you typically yell at home, the child won't take you seriously at the store when you use a softer voice so it's better to practice that at home (and in all environments) so that it can be effective across the board!
Yes! I love that reasoning! So good. Thanks so much for watching
Thanks for sharing. Newby homeschool mom. First week.
Thank you, what you are saying is very true. I'm in a current rough patch in my life, STAHM of an almost 2 year old & all of those 3 are true: not getting enough rest, overwhelmed & overworked & not getting enough time with Jesus. Though I must say, I got to the point where I also said that the yelling has ro stop, it's awful, but on a psychological level, what is it doing to & teaching my child about the world & OUR relationship? So how I started, is by taking a deep breath & stepping away from the situation, noatyer what was going on. If it was unsafe (she's a climber BTW, so shelving...), I would remove her, without saying a word or making eye contact, from the danger & place her in a safer setting & either walk away or just turn my back, and compose myself. Then later go back & talk to her. Now, I'm sending her to her room, as the tantrums have started, & as little as she is, she already knows she can only come out once the screaming & crying has stopped. If it's particularly bad, I'll just point my arm & say 'move' or 'room' in a silent spot & she'll know. But it really helps to remove yourself, it starts breaking the 'aggressive' habit & fairly quickly too, no matter how exhausted you are, you are at a better place. When there's someone present like hubby or gran, you can leave to a completely diffrent room & shut the door. You won't believe what an impact it has on children, to realise that you are removing yourself completely due to their bad behaviour, most times, a better outcome than screaming (though that still happens, as she goes deaf from time to time, but definitely less often than not). Afterward I'll say how it hurts me when she's naughty & how I hate fighting or screaming at her... Good luck mommas
Thank you so much! I needed to hear this today! ❤️❤️❤️
That encourages me so much knowing it is helping other sweet mamas!! Thanks for taking the time to comment and let me know
Woww, this video came on the right moment. Excelent information, thank you!
This is exactly what I needed
I struggle with the feeling that I'm not being listened to and my kids are tuning me out. When I am doing a homeschool lesson, sometimes my son goofs around and it feel like he's not taking me seriously. I get upset and sometimes yell. I will try to speak softly and maybe a stern look will quiet him down. We are loving our new curriculum, The Good & the Beautiful level 5. Thank for sharing all your mama tips :).
I struggle with yelling too! Thanks for sharing!!
Your welcome! I'm thankful it isn't an issue in my life anymore...God is so good to grow us! Thanks for watching :)
😂 We are about to die! too funny
Thank you! Great tips.
I’m loving your channel so so much. New sub. ❤️
Oh, that makes me so so happy to hear
You are so beautiful ! And your kids are absolutely beautiful too! I admire you and wish I was the momma you are. I want to be better. ❤️
I’m so glad I recently found your channel! I’ve been watching all your videos as I’ve had time, and boy do they all speak to me! This is definitely an area I’ve struggled in lately, and this was the words and encouragement I needed to hear ❤️ 1. Do you get enough sleep... no 😴 2. Is there too much on your plate...life is crazy right now (we’re living in a camper while we remodel a house..and we homeschool 😅) 3. Are you spending time with God during your day...not near enough 😔 Thank you for your encouragement, I’m definitely going to be working on your tips! And, If you have any recommendations for a devotional for motherhood, I would love to know what you would recommend!
I'm so glad you found it helpful!! And she doesn't necessarily have devotionals (at least not that I know of!), but I LOVE all of Sally Clarkson's books on motherhood. :)
Thank you for this!!!
Rest…do a sleep study!!! I found I am not getting enough oxygen and that’s probably the issue…waiting for my appointment to get the mask!!!! Hoping and praying this helps.
Tip 1 & 2 ... Yep, I know those are the issues. Yesterday I was yelling and my 3rd old is like "mom are you walking in anger ... You gotta walk in love" 😐 I literally was like "Your right, I am sorry" 😭
I definitely need to make this a habit
Awesome video thank you ❤🙏
Crying while watching this video, I have so much going on in my life and I had a terrible day lashing out and yelling at my sweet rambunctious boys. I feel like a total failure sometimes. Do you recommend any books? Thanks for the watch 💕
You may of felt like a failure but your not.
Praying all is well
Are you getting enough rest?
Me: (3 under 3) ....no....
Thank you^^
What an encouraging video, thank you for sharing. Do you mind telling me where you found the CC board format?
I had a tutor friend send it to me :)
I just wanted to say that the fruitage of the spirit is found in Galatians 5:22,23. 1 Corinthians 13 specifically is referring to love.
Aaron Moss yes! You may not have noticed, but in our video description I made a note about the mis-quote ☺️ A big mistake for sure! Thanks so much for commenting!
I struggle with this too. I just think about how bad my mother made me feel from yelling at me as my why to not yell at my kids. I want to homeschool, but I'm afraid I don't have the patience. I am also writing a book, and need the time to write while the kids are at school. I have felt a tugging on my heart to homeschool for a couple of years. Please pray that I make the right decision for my children.
Believing that God will be faithful to clearly show you what He wants you to do! Hugs
I have been working on this for awhile. I didn’t think I would change so quickly but I’ve caught myself biting my tongue and catching myself before I lash out.
yay!! Baby steps all in the right direction :)
I yell and tantrum because they don't respect me. When I use the calm centered tone, it's unheard. As soon as I belt out rage. Instant obedience but then they victimize themselves. My husband agrees this happens to him too. 😥 I am guessing it's because we parent different.
Hoping you are able to find other ways that work for you to be able to gain their respect and obedience! xox
I really enjoyed this video and was very encouraged by it! Where is your CC white board from?
Hi Alex! I had a tutor friend email me the file for the board :) I'm happy to send it if you leave me your email address! I'm so glad you found some encouragement here! xox
@@ThisBlendedHouse i would LOVE That! thank you so much! my email is Foltzies02@hotmail.com
Where are you? Why can’t we be friends? I live in NC❤️
Such a great video during QUARANTINE!!!
I'd love to see your video posted on plinkpop.com/foundry as a founding creator. Check it out and join us!
Thanks for the video 🥲💗 god bless 🫶🏼