This is what all the videos should be about 🙂↕️ Now this is a grown mature perspective when you understand the darkness in a narc... But those who are still get it wrong, due to the narc manipulation, will need it to see that they are "needed" too, "desire" too because they're still victims. They have a distorded image of the narc because of the strategical love bombing 🤮
I have a hard time understanding why a person in their right mind would want a narcissist to become obsessed with them. Better to get rid of them and keep healthy relationships.
I've asked my therapist about narcissism and if someone (me or my partner) were narcissists, according to her knowledge, and she replied that it's not that simple. NPD is a form of trauma. So some neuron connections in the brain were damaged in early childhood and during growing up that has led to these people acting in a certain way. I have watched several videos on narcissism and every time I watch them, a cold shiver runs down my spine, because it sounds so familiar to the behaviour of someone close to me, but I am a firm believer in healing and the power of the human mind. We have discovered but a tiny percentage of the capabilities of our brains and I know that there are ways to make changes. I actually believe that humans are almighty, but have not been able to unleash the full potential of their minds so far (and probably never will). But it's not for us to condemn other people and call them the devil or satan. We should forgive and make ourselves scarce. Limit their access to us. It is not their fault that there is something wrong with their brains, is it? You can't punish someone for their inability to emapathise or see good from bad. They didn't choose it, they have been shaped like this.
Yeah im not healed. And I definitely feel betrayed to the core . And im sick of walking around feeling like there's an anchor in my chest . And not being able to converse with friends the way I used to . She ruined my life she deserves something for ruining mine. That seems somewhat reasonable.
OR MAYBE WE WANT REVENGE. I already healed, and NOW is my turn to watch her SQUIRM. And let me tell you, it is working beautifully. I'm playing with her like you won't believe. I'm in control, I'm hot and cold. Silence treatment. I play the game of reward....and conditioning. I'm making her crave me....
The video is more tongue in cheek, if you watch, she disclaims it as such. It’s more of like, keep him guessing by marrying someone else type of thing. Because they’re THAT messed up, just being awesome and moving on will get them interested in you again. Get it?
Easy to stand in judgement and generalise , whatever someone needs to build back their self worth that potentially a narcissist has damaged to some degree, some of them may really deserve it. Live and let live I say.
This is for people who can’t LEAVE a narcissist. For example if they have kids and cannot risk losing custody to a monster half the time. Stop making generalized statements. There are lots of people who have healed but still have to use these tactics to some degree for their own sanity.
I think of you every night and day You took my heart then you took my pride away I Hate Myself for Loving You Can't break free from that thing that you do I want to walk but I run back to you That's why I Hate Myself for Loving You Joan Jett "I Hate Myself for Loving You" circa era 1988
Wrongfully... because they was no "he" or "she". Narc are possessed people. They look human. But they just have the envelop and the voice. Sharing emotions is not enough to define someone as human based only on his appearence too
I would never do what Anoushka states in this video. Trying to do this to a narcissist is like playing with a live grenade. It is reckless, with no good outcome for you or the narcissist. My advice would be to ignore, heal, and move on from the narcissist the best way you can. Narcissists will never change. And playing this game is lowering yourself to their level. Better yourself in what you want to do in your life, work on the inner you. By working on you and your glow-up game, it will make the narcissist obsessed with you and angry that you left. The (narcissistic) trash belongs where trash belongs, in the trash.
I would 100% do it. Deliver consequences when they cheat, and let them know they will never have the "prize." It's not reckless, and can be done successfully with some planning and excellent emotional control. Risks can be mitigated because the NPD person is highly predictable. It is not "lowering yourself" to their level, it is delivering consequences and thus a way to inhibit their behavior. It also provides a level of closure that many of us desire. I'm honestly not surprised that the rate of NPD is increasing, narcissistic behavior is increasing, and there is no "cure", because of exactly your advice. Too many folks are like "just ignore and move on." NO! Like ignoring criminals who loot your home will prevent them from doing it over and over. Definitely agree on working on yourself and "glow-up game" - but not to make the narc obsessed. Rather, to improve on yourself and bring beauty into the world.
They need you more than you need them. Just know this in your mind and heart and leave them alone. Get away from them before they hurt you. Unless you are a narcissist yourself, you can't begin to know the level of conniving, manipulative, insane chaos they can cause in your life. They don't deserve anymore of your time and energy. They are absolute parasites and can never get enough.
The vast majority of people watching this will not be mentally strong enough to engage in this type of game with the narcissist, and those who are mentally healed and strong enough won't bother.
True .. but for those who can’t live without someone you love but hurts you this does help! The main goal is believing in you and working on a higher you !! While keeping an eye on the narcissistic companion from a distance and being shield from a broken heart.
Give your love to somebody who is worthy of your love. Someone who is truly loving, Epithetic and not fake. The narcissist had their chance and they took your loving kindness and trashed on it. Don't give them anything they don't deserve.
I understand. I did not want to share her! I divorced her. She went crazy and tore the papers up. A few years later, she blew her brains out. She had destroyed dozens of men. I , after therapy, learned to self validate. ❤❤❤
For what purpose? To boost your ego? To feel wanted? To try to hurt your abuser? As enticing as that sounds, with a monster like my ex a lot of people will end up far more damaged, and some may die from the inevitable abuse they'll endure if they try this... unless they actually become a narcissist themselves. Pretending to be a narcissist (or a covert narcissist in my exes case) and trying to play them at their own game would be like pretending to be a lion and challenging it to a cage fight! No contact and focus on healing ❤
I’ve done this! My narc has said he’s envious of my happiness. I’m busy, I have other male friends (who are kinder and more like gentlemen), and I am more confident and less reactive. However, he has not changed. The good thing is I’m further along my way back to my normal self.
That’s the reason I’m doing it too …I can have a life …get myself together get my detached slowly while keeping a firm distance… the hurt would minimize…
Anoushka, thank you for all your videos. Today, 5 years of therapy, lots of books, over six thousand videos, I am free and happy. From 2 years old to 70, I had no self validation. Lots of degrees, always was the empathic giver, 10’s of thousands of dollars, was tormented. Went to therapy at age 70. Now? I love myself, get love from my pets and God. I only let a few people in my circle. Every relationship has to be mutually beneficial. I love people and therapist like you! My eyes were opened. I have never been happier. I will be 76 next month. I finally need nobody’s approval. Retired and continue to watch videos, pray, take care of myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Sending love❤❤❤❤❤❤
Wooouaaaw!!! What an overthinker you was 😨 happy to read a comment with this level of transparency and details. Wish to viber positively to attract Positive people 💪🏾🙂↕️🙂↕️💯
When you cut off emotion to the narc it’s bewilders them to no end, they will then gas light you telling you people said bad things about you and that they stood up for you but that’s their last attempt to get emotion from you. Be ice cold like Wednesday Adam’s and watch them pull out all their tricks then just leave them but gas them up saying they are the best first then never look back, don’t talk bad of them publicly just move on
I prefer to just go No Contact. The narc will feed on you and twist whatever you give them and you'll find yourself knee deep in drama and chaos if you try to play them. You don't wrestle with an alligator.
You need to be 100% sure that if they chase you, you will not take them back. And if your not 100% sure, don’t do it. I’m at 80% tbh so I won’t try this 😅
I did this …. At the time I had Cancer and I was physically weak so I tried this . The outcome , he threw me out on the streets one week before my major surgery. Be extremely careful and the only guarantee is to get the hell out of dodge … That prison door is open , walk through it ! 👍
Almost impossible to reach the right distance. If make yourself busy, they seems resentfull and sad but obsessed yes. If you are available because you are in love and you need to see and live them, they are fed up of you and make distance.
I’m the spiritual realm, narcissism invites low vibrational and very dark demonic energies that you do not want believe me… live in forgiveness love and give it to those who can reciprocate
Yes, the low vibration!! Once I learned about energies and vibration, I could look back and "feel" how just by being in the same space as him made me feel drained, anxious and ...like a dark cloud was always over my head ~
You are absolutely correct. After dealing with a narcissist, I know for a fact the Most High God Almighty took me out of that situation and she left on her own I didn’t have to lift a finger to help her pack! The Lord knew I wouldn’t leave her and he knew her heart. Never thought people like that existed. They are demons in skin suits, NOT human. Because of my experience I grew closer to God and even greater belief in Jesus Christ.
I've applied a ton of these tactics after she hoovered me back into a "situationship" that's left me pretty miserable in the end. My main affirmations on a daily basis boiled down to 3 points: Don't be emotional, don't be reactive, and don't be needy. I did all because if we could have sex at the end of the day, I would felt loved again. I've won a lot of battles but it was all wrong. There were so many instances where I wanted to "lash out" and that only encouraged her to keep pushing my buttons even further. She wised up eventually to what I was doing and discarded me in devastating fashion. My last affirmation from the very beginning was that it 100% wasn't going to last. Knowing that information, why did I even bother? I guess she wouldn't let me to keep on ignoring her forever.
@@lucilledavids6477 She said she would still be friends with me but that didn't stop her from giving me 3 weeks of silent treatment. I guess she had ghosted me but I wasn't blocked. I asked for a favor to test our "friendship" out of the blue and to break that awful silence. She agreed to babysit my pet while I went on a weekend trip but also said to never message her again after. She would hoover back to me 8 years later as she now "misses" me or whatever.
Omg, I was genuenly just like that for the time I was with my narc... first 4 months I didmt even concider her as a gf, then she activated some superlovebombing thing, still she couldnt get me completly... but at some point when I had some other problems in my life she has found a crack and got in... what I did when I saw first signs of disrespect towards myself i have pack her up and say goodbye. I knew that this will come to me if I wont do it so I have done it first. Its 2 months after and my phone still rings.... Best thing is that I even wasnt avare what narcissism is at that time. Have some love for Yourselfs guys ! When You see someone has ni respect for You and Your boudaries just leave. It did hurt... still kind of hurts a bit, but remember, if You be brave enought to say goodbye faith will revard you with new hello ❤
Just remember that you are the adult in this senario and they are immature children. You are much stronger than you think just believe and trust in who you are and not how the narc persieves you.
I am so glad to see this reality addressed. That not everyone involved with these people can just 'close up shop' just like that. You mostly likely can't. Breaking up either short or long term is a process. In that process, is what she is most likely referring to. Of course there is always hope things would change, but unlikely. As an empath however, it can be hard, because you can genuinely begin to feel sorry for their condition and how they hurt themselves. In that yes, they could become addicted to you, because to many will run, and they sense not a lot of people like you, she is right.
Naaah,the narc doesn't become addicted to it's victims...the victims are the ones that are obsessed and trauma bonded to the narc...it's not the other way around..this is why they can easily run from you
They were addicted to you at the beginning but then they got tired of you or found something more exciting. It’s a cycle, it will happen again to them. Just pack your bags and leave. Don’t play with fire. It will take years to adjust
But you’re playing with fire. It’s a full time high wire act that the best ending is you discard them first and you probably will create a stalker. This whole scheme is really rationalizing being pulled back under control of the narcissist. This is high level brain f.
Yes it's 33 wizardry. Rockefellar Operation Lockstep PHASE III ™ We see Masks again Sept. & lockdown again November... Johns Hopkins planning meeting October 2019 guarantee
@@kimgordon3695archons, there once was a man named Narcissist, he made a demon deal and lost leading the demon to curse him by telling him that he would fall in love with the first person that he would see. And so on a walk to the beach and saw some beautiful women but before he could get to that beach or said Beach he looked in the water and soil himself fellinlove jumped in and he died his spirit and now has been transferred to his bloodline so that we can all get a taste of his iniquity
Thanks but no thanks...I'm gonna leave the ex narc where he is...I don't need 2 do this cuz KARMA is already 2 steps ahead of me and the narc is paying 4 what he has done...I'm happy and free and moving forward n life...
Mahalo Anoushka 💙🙏🏾 I don’t want her to crave me, I’d rather she just go far away. It’s sad but that’s how they are, everything revolves around them and no matter how much you love them and are ready to help them till your old and gray, they can’t feel that. In a moment they can be like “goodbye, I’m done” after years of controlling you. With children you need to go Gray Rock. With all love and respect, playing games with a Narcissist is dangerous. Your all better than that, slam the door, lock it and weld it shut (Zion). If they tricked me for 30 years, they could trick others as well. Anoushka, your vids have saved me from the depths of loss and confusion, thank you.
If you've managed to escape the narcissist, I think you are better to just let sleeping dogs lay.....why poke the beast and provoke them? Never try to play headgames with a narc....you will lose
Take care of yourself both physically and mentally.... make yourself stronger inside and out. If you have this spiritual strength and power... the narcissist can not hurt you or gain power over you. Feels great!!!
After a tantrum, rage, the silent treatment I have called it quits. I don’t text or call. He has contacted me, several times. He is missing my car service but not my personhood. It’s a big effort to not reach out but I don’t like these cycles at all!
I am confident of myself , that’s why relationship with him still intact . It’s only now that I know I’m dealing with NPD because of your podcast but all along I was baffled why there are so many things he did and do that are disrespectful .
Just self esteem and to maybe hear a nice tone of voice even if it’s an act. Still miss talking to her but I know your correct. Still to be pursued is better then discarded.
To start with....its a slow withdrawal and it worked for me. BUT! It was the first hoover attempt and I drew my boundaries.....and the messages became more abusive since. Never be bitten by the same snake twice!
In the case of my wife, the therapist told her as an adult. Her answer was to throw a rage fit and stop going to couples therapy. She also threatened to quit going to the therapist for personal therapy because the therapist was taking my side too much. I always knew things that she would do just didn't seem right. There was a lot of double standards, doing things and then blaming me of doing the very things that she did. Unfortunately, I didn't look things up and was too stupid, naive and whatever else I and other people mighty call me. I really didn't know about projection, gaslighting, etc until going to therapy myself recently. Therapy has really opened my eyes to what she has been doing for so many years. I still love her even now, but I have to get away for my own health and sanity. It is hard though, as now she is starting to hoover. At least therapy is giving me little moments of clarity and validation. For so many years, I thought it was just me.
what this helps with is someone like me who needs to make it thru a few more years of marriage to a narc (I have my reasons for staying in this marriage a few more years) until I can escape. Thank you! I needed this information!!
I believe A is preparing us to be smart about our dealinga with Ol'Narco. Revenge is best served cold....as the old saying goes. A was clear....if this is a pathway you choose for your healing....then this is how to achieve your goal intelligently & permanently. Thanks A for the road map. I will follow it and hope the dead end I prepare for the snake works.
They don’t have options they have many to rely on supply but most people are busy living their lives.. only the lonely ones falls but are down just like they are…
yep.. mine was the best looking girl ive ever seen... why i approached her. literally, the most attractive woman ever in my life at 51. getting over that is even worse.
You genuinely become what they pretend to be! A whole person who self validates and genuinely loves yourself and doesn’t need outside sources for validation. I would say this takes time though. Im talking years of intentional effort. Look up info on Super Empaths and/or Sigma Empaths (for men).
Best to move on and LOCK THE DOOR on them. Time waits for no one. You dont get time back. Its all super toxic. Been there, done that. God rescued me and I will never look back🙏🏻🥰🏠❤️
I learned that I attract narcissistic women like a magnet late in life. I kept things friendly with my exes and always thought I was just being a good person. Then I realized the state of mind they were in when they reach out. I have exes from 15 years ago still messaging me randomly. The regret is real deep with them all. Karma has not been kind either. I recently blocked them all. Some started to message immediately again.
While I don’t think it wise to try and beat them at their own games which they are VERY good at (you won’t win) I think this is excellent advice on how to deal with them if you do have to interact. I share a son with the narc and I am going to memorize these tips because I think they will help me a lot.
It’s pointless tbh even if you’re able to make them crave you what good are they to you ? They don’t have a conscious and long term your not doing your self any favours
This is a killer ! You care for this person. You are emotionally involved, so you will never be able to play that ! You are going to sink very soon cause you still want this person, and because of your healthy thinking, you will never be a narcissist cause you kind of have to be like them !
Nah I'm good... Too much of their games here 😅😅😅😅. But Anoushka is absolutely right especially on the art where it is risky and they will do it back to you. And they're going to do it out of mere spite.
Exactly. It's like when a woman puts you in the friendzone and proceeds to tell you she's got a bad taste in men. Once you STOP giving her the attention and show her you refuse to be in her orbit, she'll start throwing herself at you because SHE WANTS THAT CONTROL OVER YOU.. And when you refuse to surrender your body to her, it will drive her even more crazy. And once you've finally had enough, sit her down and tell her what she's doing and then her world will come crashing down. Trust me, it works.
My husband hates to be needed. He does like to be praised for the "normal" things he DOES do or for the "criminal" things he DOESN'T do. How do I work with that? For example, he loved when i gave him cuddos for not beating me with closed fists all the times that he was violent 🤨 He really convinced the both of us that he was somehow the hero. He's goooood.
Not for me but it made me laugh wickedly thinking about if I was too . Whatever gets you through,we are all different as long as you get through thats what matters. Anoushka your fabulous ❤
What she described here is so true and is the qualities you find in a pimp or playboy. Although this a very dangerous position to game a narcissist, this is what it takes.
I am already doing that, my mind can really make me anxious not to reach out to her. I am staying strong. would like to make a one to one please. please
Believe me, even when I knew I was dealing with a female narcissist and just wanted to stay detached and on the event horizon so I could study her … it STILL messed me up!
I need help,the woman I thought I new the one I thought was always going to be there was never truly there ,I fell for a lie but in my head I thought we would be fine I gave and gave and yes I'm not innocent,but to be disrespected discarded and just left for dead just a shell of the person I use to,I just want to find myself so I can pick up the peaces and go,where I don't know,I feel so lost but the crazy thing is I still love her,I don't want to go back I don't want to play games I just wanted to make her happy there for me happy,at the end of the day after ten years I was nothing not even memory.plz I need help I'm hurting so much I can't stand it .
All it does is turn you into a narcissist yourself… heal your own wounds and move forward to find someone who wants to be with you without mind games and control games
Hey i have a question for you all im really skeptical of this situation i know i should stay away my ex’s family is having a karaoke party of course my ex dont mind if i come but i just wonder if he has something up his sleeve and his father which are both narcissists i know for a fact theirboth narcissists i like to sing last time i went t there they were trying to embarrass me my ex father in law tried to make it sound like it was my fault my wx cheated on me myltiple times i was a goodxwife to him i bent over backwards being trying to make him happy but narcissists are negative miserable people but i just turned it around t to make him look bad this is before i went np contact should i go or just stay away i really like his aunt which by the way is an empath too i know
Why play games with a narc. Not neccesary. It only makes you becomes a gamer even should you meet a good person. Walk away if you realise he or she is a narc. No need trying to play games with them. It will be brutal and a dangerous game.
You dont need them to be addicted to you, you need to make them forget you and never disturb you ever again in your life.
true that
This is what all the videos should be about 🙂↕️
Now this is a grown mature perspective when you understand the darkness in a narc... But those who are still get it wrong, due to the narc manipulation, will need it to see that they are "needed" too, "desire" too because they're still victims. They have a distorded image of the narc because of the strategical love bombing 🤮
I have a hard time understanding why a person in their right mind would want a narcissist to become obsessed with them. Better to get rid of them and keep healthy relationships.
@matamba6774 😂😂😂 EXACTLY.., she lost me with that… Why would I want SATAN to be obsessed with me…
Go find somebody else life to destroy ✌️
I've asked my therapist about narcissism and if someone (me or my partner) were narcissists, according to her knowledge, and she replied that it's not that simple. NPD is a form of trauma. So some neuron connections in the brain were damaged in early childhood and during growing up that has led to these people acting in a certain way. I have watched several videos on narcissism and every time I watch them, a cold shiver runs down my spine, because it sounds so familiar to the behaviour of someone close to me, but I am a firm believer in healing and the power of the human mind. We have discovered but a tiny percentage of the capabilities of our brains and I know that there are ways to make changes. I actually believe that humans are almighty, but have not been able to unleash the full potential of their minds so far (and probably never will). But it's not for us to condemn other people and call them the devil or satan. We should forgive and make ourselves scarce. Limit their access to us. It is not their fault that there is something wrong with their brains, is it? You can't punish someone for their inability to emapathise or see good from bad. They didn't choose it, they have been shaped like this.
If u want the narc to be obsessed with you it means that you are not healed and you havent move on with your life...bless you❤
Yeah im not healed. And I definitely feel betrayed to the core . And im sick of walking around feeling like there's an anchor in my chest . And not being able to converse with friends the way I used to . She ruined my life she deserves something for ruining mine. That seems somewhat reasonable.
OR MAYBE WE WANT REVENGE. I already healed, and NOW is my turn to watch her SQUIRM. And let me tell you, it is working beautifully. I'm playing with her like you won't believe. I'm in control, I'm hot and cold. Silence treatment. I play the game of reward....and conditioning. I'm making her crave me....
The video is more tongue in cheek, if you watch, she disclaims it as such. It’s more of like, keep him guessing by marrying someone else type of thing. Because they’re THAT messed up, just being awesome and moving on will get them interested in you again. Get it?
Easy to stand in judgement and generalise , whatever someone needs to build back their self worth that potentially a narcissist has damaged to some degree, some of them may really deserve it. Live and let live I say.
This is for people who can’t LEAVE a narcissist. For example if they have kids and cannot risk losing custody to a monster half the time. Stop making generalized statements. There are lots of people who have healed but still have to use these tactics to some degree for their own sanity.
They're already obsessed without you trying lol
Facts
I think of you every night and day You took my heart then you took my pride away I Hate Myself for Loving You Can't break free from that thing that you do I want to walk but I run back to you That's why I Hate Myself for Loving You Joan Jett "I Hate Myself for Loving You" circa era 1988
Saw her in concert in 81'
@@SweepDailyWin 😆😆😆
@@SweepDailyWin Me, too!! I still love her music and follow her! ❤
I will never, ever forget how he treated me through the discard and devalue. The version that he knew of me is gone. Never again.
Same here
Neveeeeeeeeeeer Agaaaaaaaaaaaaain!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes !
I 'm finally there!
Wrongfully... because they was no "he" or "she". Narc are possessed people. They look human. But they just have the envelop and the voice. Sharing emotions is not enough to define someone as human based only on his appearence too
Me too...
I would never do what Anoushka states in this video. Trying to do this to a narcissist is like playing with a live grenade. It is reckless, with no good outcome for you or the narcissist. My advice would be to ignore, heal, and move on from the narcissist the best way you can. Narcissists will never change. And playing this game is lowering yourself to their level. Better yourself in what you want to do in your life, work on the inner you. By working on you and your glow-up game, it will make the narcissist obsessed with you and angry that you left.
The (narcissistic) trash belongs where trash belongs, in the trash.
Totally agree 💯 💯
I would 100% do it. Deliver consequences when they cheat, and let them know they will never have the "prize." It's not reckless, and can be done successfully with some planning and excellent emotional control. Risks can be mitigated because the NPD person is highly predictable. It is not "lowering yourself" to their level, it is delivering consequences and thus a way to inhibit their behavior. It also provides a level of closure that many of us desire. I'm honestly not surprised that the rate of NPD is increasing, narcissistic behavior is increasing, and there is no "cure", because of exactly your advice. Too many folks are like "just ignore and move on." NO! Like ignoring criminals who loot your home will prevent them from doing it over and over. Definitely agree on working on yourself and "glow-up game" - but not to make the narc obsessed. Rather, to improve on yourself and bring beauty into the world.
Amen!
"You cannot control that which cannot be controlled" HG Tudor -- Knowing the Narcissist
Excellent video to watch, plus others.@@ezdeezytube
I would do it too if necessary sometimes in life one can not choose defeat. 😊
They need you more than you need them. Just know this in your mind and heart and leave them alone. Get away from them before they hurt you. Unless you are a narcissist yourself, you can't begin to know the level of conniving, manipulative, insane chaos they can cause in your life. They don't deserve anymore of your time and energy. They are absolute parasites and can never get enough.
This is the last thing I would want with a narcisist😮! Just run!
@filomenaricciardi6876 EXACTLY 🤣
That’s like volunteering to suffer and inviting a demon over to your house, since misery loves company
The vast majority of people watching this will not be mentally strong enough to engage in this type of game with the narcissist, and those who are mentally healed and strong enough won't bother.
That's such a valid point i totally agree with you.
PREACH
Wow are you a narcissist by any chance?
True .. but for those who can’t live without someone you love but hurts you this does help! The main goal is believing in you and working on a higher you !! While keeping an eye on the narcissistic companion from a distance and being shield from a broken heart.
@@Helenaorangeno, but you obviously are.
Give your love to somebody who is worthy of your love. Someone who is truly loving, Epithetic and not fake. The narcissist had their chance and they took your loving kindness and trashed on it. Don't give them anything they don't deserve.
Why would i want the evil narc to be obsessed with me when I want to get rid of him !!
Make no sense at all !!!!
I have done this unintentionally in the beginning of the relationship and he paid me back 10x 😢 even tho I didn’t do it deliberately
After she cheated on me having unprotected sex with at least two guys I didn't want to touch her again
I understand. I did not want to share her! I divorced her. She went crazy and tore the papers up. A few years later, she blew her brains out. She had destroyed dozens of men. I , after therapy, learned to self validate. ❤❤❤
@@richardwalker1405 Woah she committed suicide - was there any clues leading up to it that she was going to unalive herself?
@@ezdeezytubethey are already at higher risk just by virtue of being narcissistic
For what purpose? To boost your ego? To feel wanted? To try to hurt your abuser? As enticing as that sounds, with a monster like my ex a lot of people will end up far more damaged, and some may die from the inevitable abuse they'll endure if they try this... unless they actually become a narcissist themselves.
Pretending to be a narcissist (or a covert narcissist in my exes case) and trying to play them at their own game would be like pretending to be a lion and challenging it to a cage fight! No contact and focus on healing ❤
I’ve done this! My narc has said he’s envious of my happiness. I’m busy, I have other male friends (who are kinder and more like gentlemen), and I am more confident and less reactive. However, he has not changed. The good thing is I’m further along my way back to my normal self.
They are always envious of us in many ways
That’s the reason I’m doing it too …I can have a life …get myself together get my detached slowly while keeping a firm distance… the hurt would minimize…
Same girl!!! ❤ Chix before dix .. Always 😂 stay strong
Anoushka, thank you for all your videos. Today, 5 years of therapy, lots of books, over six thousand videos, I am free and happy. From 2 years old to 70, I had no self validation. Lots of degrees, always was the empathic giver, 10’s of thousands of dollars, was tormented. Went to therapy at age 70. Now? I love myself, get love from my pets and God. I only let a few people in my circle. Every relationship has to be mutually beneficial. I love people and therapist like you! My eyes were opened. I have never been happier. I will be 76 next month. I finally need nobody’s approval. Retired and continue to watch videos, pray, take care of myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Sending love❤❤❤❤❤❤
You're the strongest 🥰
My story 30 yrs earlier 😉❤️
Wooouaaaw!!! What an overthinker you was 😨 happy to read a comment with this level of transparency and details. Wish to viber positively to attract Positive people 💪🏾🙂↕️🙂↕️💯
When you cut off emotion to the narc it’s bewilders them to no end, they will then gas light you telling you people said bad things about you and that they stood up for you but that’s their last attempt to get emotion from you. Be ice cold like Wednesday Adam’s and watch them pull out all their tricks then just leave them but gas them up saying they are the best first then never look back, don’t talk bad of them publicly just move on
Can confirm 💯.
I prefer to just go No Contact. The narc will feed on you and twist whatever you give them and you'll find yourself knee deep in drama and chaos if you try to play them. You don't wrestle with an alligator.
You need to be 100% sure that if they chase you, you will not take them back. And if your not 100% sure, don’t do it. I’m at 80% tbh so I won’t try this 😅
One common denominator is they act soo meek and mild and helpless but will lash out with a thousand pounds of anger ☺️☺️
They are 3 years old inside
I did this ….
At the time I had Cancer and I was physically weak so I tried this .
The outcome , he threw me out on the streets one week before my major surgery.
Be extremely careful and the only guarantee is to get the hell out of dodge …
That prison door is open , walk through it ! 👍
Almost impossible to reach the right distance.
If make yourself busy, they seems resentfull and sad but obsessed yes. If you are available because you are in love and you need to see and live them, they are fed up of you and make distance.
Anoushka just nailed it , you have to be emotionally withdrawn. Seriously, that’s it .
How is it possible? How can it be done?
thats why being avoidant is fun w a narc
I’m the spiritual realm, narcissism invites low vibrational and very dark demonic energies that you do not want believe me… live in forgiveness love and give it to those who can reciprocate
Yes, the low vibration!! Once I learned about energies and vibration, I could look back and "feel" how just by being in the same space as him made me feel drained, anxious and ...like a dark cloud was always over my head ~
You are absolutely correct. After dealing with a narcissist, I know for a fact the Most High God Almighty took me out of that situation and she left on her own I didn’t have to lift a finger to help her pack!
The Lord knew I wouldn’t leave her and he knew her heart. Never thought people like that existed. They are demons in skin suits, NOT human. Because of my experience I grew closer to God and even greater belief in Jesus Christ.
I've applied a ton of these tactics after she hoovered me back into a "situationship" that's left me pretty miserable in the end. My main affirmations on a daily basis boiled down to 3 points: Don't be emotional, don't be reactive, and don't be needy. I did all because if we could have sex at the end of the day, I would felt loved again. I've won a lot of battles but it was all wrong. There were so many instances where I wanted to "lash out" and that only encouraged her to keep pushing my buttons even further. She wised up eventually to what I was doing and discarded me in devastating fashion. My last affirmation from the very beginning was that it 100% wasn't going to last. Knowing that information, why did I even bother? I guess she wouldn't let me to keep on ignoring her forever.
How did she end up leaving you in a devastating manner, if i may ask?
@@lucilledavids6477 She said she would still be friends with me but that didn't stop her from giving me 3 weeks of silent treatment. I guess she had ghosted me but I wasn't blocked. I asked for a favor to test our "friendship" out of the blue and to break that awful silence. She agreed to babysit my pet while I went on a weekend trip but also said to never message her again after. She would hoover back to me 8 years later as she now "misses" me or whatever.
Yes, I'm interested how she discarded you?
Did you forgot the part of detaching ? Emotionally ? You need to use the time away from her getting you strengths back… then it would have worked..
Yeah do not manipulate one. It will not end good. I promise. It could make them come after you and could be even dangerous.
Omg, I was genuenly just like that for the time I was with my narc... first 4 months I didmt even concider her as a gf, then she activated some superlovebombing thing, still she couldnt get me completly... but at some point when I had some other problems in my life she has found a crack and got in... what I did when I saw first signs of disrespect towards myself i have pack her up and say goodbye. I knew that this will come to me if I wont do it so I have done it first. Its 2 months after and my phone still rings.... Best thing is that I even wasnt avare what narcissism is at that time. Have some love for Yourselfs guys ! When You see someone has ni respect for You and Your boudaries just leave. It did hurt... still kind of hurts a bit, but remember, if You be brave enought to say goodbye faith will revard you with new hello ❤
So basically be a narc 😅😂 it's toxic don't do this people ❤
Just remember that you are the adult in this senario and they are immature children. You are much stronger than you think just believe and trust in who you are and not how the narc persieves you.
I’ve done this but realized fast I looked like him. The world of a narcissist is crazy.
Sometimes you have to dive into the we fire to see how hot it is ❤
I am so glad to see this reality addressed. That not everyone involved with these people can just 'close up shop' just like that. You mostly likely can't. Breaking up either short or long term is a process. In that process, is what she is most likely referring to. Of course there is always hope things would change, but unlikely. As an empath however, it can be hard, because you can genuinely begin to feel sorry for their condition and how they hurt themselves. In that yes, they could become addicted to you, because to many will run, and they sense not a lot of people like you, she is right.
Naaah,the narc doesn't become addicted to it's victims...the victims are the ones that are obsessed and trauma bonded to the narc...it's not the other way around..this is why they can easily run from you
They were addicted to you at the beginning but then they got tired of you or found something more exciting. It’s a cycle, it will happen again to them. Just pack your bags and leave. Don’t play with fire. It will take years to adjust
Once I know a person is a narcissist I trade careful by keeping them at arm’s length
But you’re playing with fire. It’s a full time high wire act that the best ending is you discard them first and you probably will create a stalker. This whole scheme is really rationalizing being pulled back under control of the narcissist. This is high level brain f.
Yes it's 33 wizardry. Rockefellar Operation Lockstep PHASE III ™
We see Masks again Sept. & lockdown again November...
Johns Hopkins planning meeting October 2019 guarantee
Free Masonry 101
Dude the narcissist is a demon incarnate, meaning she will only play the 🎉 to trap 🪤😔😢yo AZZ, with the surgical awareness
@@kimgordon3695archons, there once was a man named Narcissist, he made a demon deal and lost leading the demon to curse him by telling him that he would fall in love with the first person that he would see. And so on a walk to the beach and saw some beautiful women but before he could get to that beach or said Beach he looked in the water and soil himself fellinlove jumped in and he died his spirit and now has been transferred to his bloodline so that we can all get a taste of his iniquity
Damn narcissist oops too late
You explain everything so well.
Thanks but no thanks...I'm gonna leave the ex narc where he is...I don't need 2 do this cuz KARMA is already 2 steps ahead of me and the narc is paying 4 what he has done...I'm happy and free and moving forward n life...
Mahalo Anoushka 💙🙏🏾 I don’t want her to crave me, I’d rather she just go far away. It’s sad but that’s how they are, everything revolves around them and no matter how much you love them and are ready to help them till your old and gray, they can’t feel that. In a moment they can be like “goodbye, I’m done” after years of controlling you.
With children you need to go Gray Rock.
With all love and respect, playing games with a Narcissist is dangerous. Your all better than that, slam the door, lock it and weld it shut (Zion). If they tricked me for 30 years, they could trick others as well.
Anoushka, your vids have saved me from the depths of loss and confusion, thank you.
If you've managed to escape the narcissist, I think you are better to just let sleeping dogs lay.....why poke the beast and provoke them? Never try to play headgames with a narc....you will lose
Never have lost it’s one big mind game gotta be 1 step ahead
Take care of yourself both physically and mentally.... make yourself stronger inside and out. If you have this spiritual strength and power... the narcissist can not hurt you or gain power over you. Feels great!!!
Just be authentic, you’d rather sacrifice that toxic attachment if you need to be unauthentic in able to do so.
After a tantrum, rage, the silent treatment I have called it quits. I don’t text or call. He has contacted me, several times. He is missing my car service but not my personhood.
It’s a big effort to not reach out but I don’t like these cycles at all!
Sounds like fun but I will pass on this one 😂 I think my narc is long gone, 😂
I want this narcissist to leave me and my child alone
The last thing I want is for this damn narcissist to Hoover around me in any way, shape or form……I’ll pass!!!!!!
I find when i do…i am turning i to them and putting energy there
And best no energy at all
Thank you mam. You are correct. It is not healthy for peace of mind. They are not worth loosing your precious peace and time.
I am confident of myself , that’s why relationship with him still intact . It’s only now that I know I’m dealing with NPD because of your podcast but all along I was baffled why there are so many things he did and do that are disrespectful .
Just self esteem and to maybe hear a nice tone of voice even if it’s an act. Still miss talking to her but I know your correct. Still to be pursued is better then discarded.
Never revenge. She’s a damaged soul and doesn’t realize the harm she does to anyone. Even thou her therapist told he as a child
To start with....its a slow withdrawal and it worked for me. BUT! It was the first hoover attempt and I drew my boundaries.....and the messages became more abusive since. Never be bitten by the same snake twice!
I hear you man…. Just a day at a time ok 🙏🏻
In the case of my wife, the therapist told her as an adult. Her answer was to throw a rage fit and stop going to couples therapy. She also threatened to quit going to the therapist for personal therapy because the therapist was taking my side too much. I always knew things that she would do just didn't seem right. There was a lot of double standards, doing things and then blaming me of doing the very things that she did. Unfortunately, I didn't look things up and was too stupid, naive and whatever else I and other people mighty call me. I really didn't know about projection, gaslighting, etc until going to therapy myself recently. Therapy has really opened my eyes to what she has been doing for so many years. I still love her even now, but I have to get away for my own health and sanity. It is hard though, as now she is starting to hoover. At least therapy is giving me little moments of clarity and validation. For so many years, I thought it was just me.
I’ve been discarded x
You are amazing Anushka
Your hair always looks perfect!
Nooo..!....its like heroin. Get off it gently. Another great post Anoushka...
Erm...not like I have done that 👍
EXCELLENT VIDEO!!!AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT ✅️!!
what this helps with is someone like me who needs to make it thru a few more years of marriage to a narc (I have my reasons for staying in this marriage a few more years) until I can escape. Thank you! I needed this information!!
I believe A is preparing us to be smart about our dealinga with Ol'Narco. Revenge is best served cold....as the old saying goes. A was clear....if this is a pathway you choose for your healing....then this is how to achieve your goal intelligently & permanently. Thanks A for the road map. I will follow it and hope the dead end I prepare for the snake works.
Did you attempt this? I'm curious how it went
Not a pathway to healing oh well maybe a little bit of control revenge…yeah not healing. Better to move on and really heal.
All spot on
narcissist dont care or love u, they have thousands of options and sadly if ur not around they dont think of u the same way u want them to think of u
They absolutely do NOT have thousands of options. Who told you that? Them??? Lol please
@@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO they have supply stashed places. They will make options out of potential supply.
They don’t have options they have many to rely on supply but most people are busy living their lives.. only the lonely ones falls but are down just like they are…
A woman narc or the good looking narc guy has thousand of options...
yep.. mine was the best looking girl ive ever seen... why i approached her. literally, the most attractive woman ever in my life at 51. getting over that is even worse.
So true.
You genuinely become what they pretend to be! A whole person who self validates and genuinely loves yourself and doesn’t need outside sources for validation. I would say this takes time though. Im talking years of intentional effort. Look up info on Super Empaths and/or Sigma Empaths (for men).
I truly agree with this
She said, "I get it" lolol
Very helpful x
No, I just want him to keep silent and remain in no contact. Closure is the best gift I gave myself.
Best to move on and LOCK THE DOOR on them. Time waits for no one. You dont get time back. Its all super toxic. Been there, done that. God rescued me and I will never look back🙏🏻🥰🏠❤️
I'm arrogant and withdrawn.
LMAO Did so without even trying. Now I’m laughing. Love these videos.
Me too! The hot/cold treatment (even when done spontaneously without trying) works like a charm. 😂
Hell yeah! ❤
I learned that I attract narcissistic women like a magnet late in life. I kept things friendly with my exes and always thought I was just being a good person. Then I realized the state of mind they were in when they reach out. I have exes from 15 years ago still messaging me randomly. The regret is real deep with them all. Karma has not been kind either. I recently blocked them all. Some started to message immediately again.
While I don’t think it wise to try and beat them at their own games which they are VERY good at (you won’t win) I think this is excellent advice on how to deal with them if you do have to interact. I share a son with the narc and I am going to memorize these tips because I think they will help me a lot.
It’s pointless tbh even if you’re able to make them crave you what good are they to you ? They don’t have a conscious and long term your not doing your self any favours
Thank you this works your so smart.
This is a killer ! You care for this person. You are emotionally involved, so you will never be able to play that ! You are going to sink very soon cause you still want this person, and because of your healthy thinking, you will never be a narcissist cause you kind of have to be like them !
Narcissist are not killers YALL ARE JUST SOFT AND A PUNK 😂mine tried to kill me with a hammer and ended up hurt so 🤷♀️
Nah I'm good... Too much of their games here 😅😅😅😅. But Anoushka is absolutely right especially on the art where it is risky and they will do it back to you. And they're going to do it out of mere spite.
Exactly. It's like when a woman puts you in the friendzone and proceeds to tell you she's got a bad taste in men. Once you STOP giving her the attention and show her you refuse to be in her orbit, she'll start throwing herself at you because SHE WANTS THAT CONTROL OVER YOU.. And when you refuse to surrender your body to her, it will drive her even more crazy. And once you've finally had enough, sit her down and tell her what she's doing and then her world will come crashing down. Trust me, it works.
@@mikewolverton7904 ROTFL 😂 😂 😂.... I love it 🤣🤣
To summarize, you need to become a narcissist.
My husband hates to be needed. He does like to be praised for the "normal" things he DOES do or for the "criminal" things he DOESN'T do. How do I work with that? For example, he loved when i gave him cuddos for not beating me with closed fists all the times that he was violent 🤨 He really convinced the both of us that he was somehow the hero. He's goooood.
You read my mind. 😅
I couldn't click fast enough 😢 Tfs ❤
Not for me but it made me laugh wickedly thinking about if I was too . Whatever gets you through,we are all different as long as you get through thats what matters. Anoushka your fabulous ❤
Very helpful
What she described here is so true and is the qualities you find in a pimp or playboy. Although this a very dangerous position to game a narcissist, this is what it takes.
She help me for so long , and then drop me like her little. Thank you soooo much.
Just kidding.
I am still married to the narcissist, but I am working on self love anyhow.
It's too much work for most of them. They'd rather go deal with a new supply.
I definitely do not want a Narc to be addicted to me. I'm sure that could result in self destruction. Don't play more games with them!
I am already doing that, my mind can really make me anxious not to reach out to her. I am staying strong. would like to make a one to one please. please
Believe me, even when I knew I was dealing with a female narcissist and just wanted to stay detached and on the event horizon so I could study her … it STILL messed me up!
sleep with her bestie or relative or his male friends.
Why in the hell would you want to deliberately make a narcissist obessed with you , how damn dumb🧐🧐🧐🧐
Sounds like some very, dirty dealing. Others, young and old, around are being gaslit by this behaviour. 😢
I need help,the woman I thought I new the one I thought was always going to be there was never truly there ,I fell for a lie but in my head I thought we would be fine I gave and gave and yes I'm not innocent,but to be disrespected discarded and just left for dead just a shell of the person I use to,I just want to find myself so I can pick up the peaces and go,where I don't know,I feel so lost but the crazy thing is I still love her,I don't want to go back I don't want to play games I just wanted to make her happy there for me happy,at the end of the day after ten years I was nothing not even memory.plz I need help I'm hurting so much I can't stand it .
I just want to forget him. I can't bear this pain.
This is NOT a good idea.......you should just go no contact......narcissists never heal so why play games with them........
So basically, we have to be a narcissist. The only difference is our intent is different.
I’m watching this to make sure I don’t make any of this mistakes so they stay away forever lol
it means you already got the only thing that mattered with your narc. the only thing that had value.
Block or keep unblocked? Email is open.
This 🎯
Those mind games remind me of a pimp on the street
All it does is turn you into a narcissist yourself… heal your own wounds and move forward to find someone who wants to be with you without mind games and control games
Hey i have a question for you all im really skeptical of this situation i know i should stay away my ex’s family is having a karaoke party of course my ex dont mind if i come but i just wonder if he has something up his sleeve and his father which are both narcissists i know for a fact theirboth narcissists i like to sing last time i went t there they were trying to embarrass me my ex father in law tried to make it sound like it was my fault my wx cheated on me myltiple times i was a goodxwife to him i bent over backwards being trying to make him happy but narcissists are negative miserable people but i just turned it around t to make him look bad this is before i went np contact should i go or just stay away i really like his aunt which by the way is an empath too i know
Why play games with a narc. Not neccesary. It only makes you becomes a gamer even should you meet a good person. Walk away if you realise he or she is a narc. No need trying to play games with them. It will be brutal and a dangerous game.
They already are obssessed so NO thank you !