The way in which they present themselves at the beginning seems so convincing that you ignore their disordered and weird behavior later on... You think this person seems so interested in getting to know/being with you, that you ignore your intuition and fail to see the real person behind the curtain
absolutely spot on... super duper convincing in the beginning and you TOTALLY dismiss odd traits you see, thinking its just quirks or they're having an off day, they have shown me their "good nature' already, we believe that's who they really are... . being involved with a narcissist once really is a harsh life education in personality disorders
Yah silly tho why would yah believe them yah don’t know how to read people don’t yah study ppl who believes a person that says I love you 😂from the get no wonder narcissists gets alot of yah
A relationship with the narc is one that is built on (from their side) nothing but lies, false hopes and empty promises. You naturally grieve the ending of the relationship as your heart only focuses on what could have been, not what actually was. Comparing the fantasy to the reality may be a hard truth to accept but its the only way to see the situation for what it is and realise you deserve better.
It’s so weird how they stay married for years and then leave one summer day. 25 years, have kids and then leave. Bloop. I’m glad he’s gone because now I can see the reality but wow they are freaks
Its emotional abuse of the highest level ...my narcissistic partner launced a smear campaign against me when I left her false allegations involving the police which went nowhere My ex narc died 2 tears ago of cancer ....I honestly thought it was karma and haved moved on in my life
Your breakdown of 3 lies is spot on. Ive been told all 3 for the reasons you analyse. Intuitively doubted what was said but hoped for best. Turned out exactly as you predict. Now i know for sure. Thanks.
My ex told me he loved me 3 wks into the relationship and I didn’t say it back. He was offended that I didn’t say it back. The next month I’m going to marry you he said. I’m not sure about that one since I had been married before. You’re right about the love bombing and we were engaged 8 months later. After we got married we didn’t have a romantic evening. After that he definitely changed. Some good days but many were indifferent. Anniversaries and my birthday when it meant a lot to me were “ no big deal” to him. I stayed for the sake of the kids but I was unhappy being with someone that made me feel so alone! Anouska you are so great at picking out all these issues. I am moved in so many ways how you pick topics that I have learned a great deal! Never new about narcissism but am fully aware now . I like who I am and I will not ever change for someone else to fit into their life. Moving on to a better life!
I knew from the moment they say that they love me, that they're lying, but i said to myself: ok, let's check it out. Then i wasted 15+ years of my life for these devilish screwers here, and of course, they're still after me.
Everything that you've said was all true, just broke up with mine a month ago. Praying, Going no contact and listening to you is helping me a lot. I'm still struggling to forget the good memories but Im happy that I'm finally free from him❤
I thought something off the moment I met them. They never told me that they loved me. Never! Probably because they knew I wouldn't have believed them if they had said it.
I am very big empath and I always been. I was 12 years in marriage with female narcissist. At the end of relationship which offcourse she ended I literally almost died. But im still here, free with better understanding of it all. Thank you for your videos it really really helps ❤
I been through it for 5 years with my ex gf. Man what a roller coaster. I’m glad to be off. I broke down and was crushed over her for weeks. I still have my days. But I’m getting better ❤️🩹
14 years for me, i realized because she called me a narcissist, so naturally i started looking for information, how ironic.. I walked away(for the last time) 5 weeks ago. I´m in a very dark place now after totally draining myself . I´m glad to hear that you made it out, that gives me hope.
Future-faking is the worst. My ex used to tell me how SOMEDAY we will live together, travel, blablabla But in PRESENT moment, he cheated, lied, lived like a hippie
I was bombared with ,Your the love of my life,my soulmate,I wish I had met you sooner,I've never met anyone like you before. Me being me believed it and fell for it.
the past 3 weeks he has said that to me many times a day and not he has stopped it.. he is also right now doing something I never ever thought I would walk in this..
Greatest life experience is setting a standard for oneself versus the outward validation. They teach you to flip the script inward. Need nothing have everything. Honestly, they're just cowards playing a full mask with no conscious intention. My advice, don't talk to anyone on social media unless you meet them in person. It's a rife nest with ill intent
You're just awesome, Anoushka!!. You hit the nail on the head everytime, and I'm learning so much from you. Thankyou for sharing your wisdom with all of us. 🤗🧡
Exactly what happened to me and what I observed, right into the pleasure addiction center of my brain. I'm no longer stuck, but rebuilding his damage. This happened by cellphone during pandemic lockdown making me his caged victim. I knew him in high school. He was the same.
Still cant believe i allowed all the crap😂.... Leading a new life only relying onn myselve and Sigma mindset... It always worked like that.... 😂💪 No distractions i dont need or want anymore....
This comment is not for me.. Anoushka... are you ok? I saw the devastation you were expressing when talking about #3. You are an inspiration to others and sharing your insight on this kind of behavior. Be strong and keep up the great work you are doing. You are a survivor like the rest of us. Much love and happiness.
That's why when the narcissist I had used to tell me she loved me with the biggest tightest hugs it felt so real. Because in the moment & in the way she understands love she was loving me for all the supply she was getting out of me. Also how impulsive she is it could go exactly the opposite whenever she threw a spanner. It took me a long time to work it all out because I'd never known a fake person before in my life!~
Stupid people are fooled by first impressions, intelligent people know better, that's why my recent narcissist didn't get to me, she was still annoying though.
You are so accurate in everything you say. Spot on. Thank you for this channel Anoushka, your knowledge is powerful and a great help for us victims to gain understanding and perspective. It’s comforting to know where not along. You’re the best ❤
Thank You as Always ... can't help but notice the space you're in for this offering ... so soothing dark and mellow, a clean special place ... protected and strong ... and soft and subterranean quiet
Anoushka,, thank you for your awesome work It is crazy that narc's follow the same patterns, it's as if you were present in my experience lol Peace, I do appreciate what you do
Thanks this really helps me. It seems to be the situation that I'm dealing with in nut shell actually summing everything up. Thankyou for all you do for so many people all the time. I really enjoyed the video. It's exactly what is and has been going in my life,relationship and mairage of 15 years. God bless you.
Thankyou so much. Most of us are taken for the ride of our lifetime. Repeats happen too. Sad but we don't learn or see it coming until we are already in it.
So true at the beginning I thought he was just like the boy next door wouldn’t hurt me how wrong was I ! He was nothing like the man I fell in love with I remember the whole relationship saying to him where’s the man I fell in love with and after every split usually a few months I got that man back but within a couple of months it was gone again and after 6 times it got shorter each time with more pain more lies more women more gaslighting no emotion I made far too many excuses for his behaviour and you’re right it is such a big lie telling someone you love them when you’re talking and sleeping with other women behind your back and promising you they want to grow old with you , that they want to travel with you love a life with you the hope you have is untold and if you love someone you don’t do that you don’t want to hurt the person that you authentically love how could you but they can they just don’t know what it means to love someone
You're somewhat off on this one. The narcissist doesn't "future fake".... they believe in the shared fantasy, it isn't to keep you stuck. When they tell you they "love you"... they truly believe they love you, and they do!... in their own self serving, shallow way. These things are instinctual and subconscious to the narcissist, they aren't lies. Narcissists don't gaslight either... they believe in their alternate version of reality. The psychopath (and some malignant narcissists) are fully aware they're gaslighting, lying, faking, and that they don't love you, they know exactly who/what they are.
Yes, all of these did happen to me too. How should I / others prevent these 3 lies? They really actg like, as I think / do etc. They did tell me several times they love me even proposed to me. Oh yes, they made, various different empty promisses. Thank goodness, I didn't bite at their bait. - Thank you Anushka much appreciate it.
my narcissist who is my ex-step daughter has this image of herself which totally doesn't match what she really looks like. i heard her tell a beautician one time that she was a true blonde. she wasn't. you can't fool a beautician. it's like she doesn't care if a person knows she's lying. she's also very skinny and flat-chested. i told her one time that i had quit wearing bras because they were just too uncomfortable. and she said Oh, my breasts are so large i just have to wear a bra. i felt a stab of pain in my heart when she said that because i knew then something wasn't right about her. there were other things too, but i started trying to find out why a person would say things about themself that was so obviously not true. and not even bat an eye.
Hi so im aliitle confused , because i wonder if i am an narcissists then. Only because my partner did everything, not that i asked just did and buy huge presents ? But i never asked for them . Also because he left with no communication again, must be over 25 times in a five year situationship because he says he cant talk!? The way i have reacted to emails is shocking! I know my language is abusive abd cruel. It is just because he never told me why just left and ghosted me over and over again . No explanation , no sit down conversation, nothing. So i call ,txt email untill i feel the stalker!? I know its awful 😢
My ex narc and I had a great connection and actually a great relationship for 6 yrs. never mistreated me or angry. He was a great bf (both in our 50’s) How do I know the difference at the beginning between a narc and a normal person? I’m sooo confused.
Ya i was told by me ex gf I the beginning that God told her she was going to meet a man and gave me all the details as to why only after the got to know quite a bit about me within 2 weeks , and she said that God said I was the one and her soulmate , , then I can remember her saying once after 1 year of dating her that God told her that i wasn’t the man for her , that was when I was putting down boundaries , and enforcing them … also here’s a psychotic one , when I first met her she talked about an ex she wish she was still with and hoped it would eventually work out with them , but I found out she was still with him in the beginnig of our relationship…weird sh@t, so she says she’s not with him but wants it to work with him , but she’s still with him , lolol how about that mind F@ck… i should of ran like the flash at that point but i thought she was trying to make me jealous … well I was horribly wrong about that …
My narcisisst partners made me realize how important self-love really is, when you never been practicing it right.
The way in which they present themselves at the beginning seems so convincing that you ignore their disordered and weird behavior later on... You think this person seems so interested in getting to know/being with you, that you ignore your intuition and fail to see the real person behind the curtain
absolutely spot on... super duper convincing in the beginning and you TOTALLY dismiss odd traits you see, thinking its just quirks or they're having an off day, they have shown me their "good nature' already, we believe that's who they really are... . being involved with a narcissist once really is a harsh life education in personality disorders
Decent explanation 👌
Exactly. I overlooked so many red flags, which I now know were red flags.
Exactly 💯
I'm sorry you feel that way......😅🤦
1. They love you
2. They will be with you forever
3. I’ll never lie to you
This is exactly what happens. Wish i had known before getting involved thanks
Yeah, love, to them, is just a power word of control. Everything that they do is the opposite of love.
Yes that is so very true .. it is exactly a power word of manipulation 😢
Yah silly tho why would yah believe them yah don’t know how to read people don’t yah study ppl who believes a person that says I love you 😂from the get no wonder narcissists gets alot of yah
They mirror you so you're looking at your reflection in the beginning.
That’s the trick that gets me all the time
“They love you when you conform”. Absolutely!
I stopped conforming and his behaviour changed.
Yes, true, he loves me as long as I conform
A relationship with the narc is one that is built on (from their side) nothing but lies, false hopes and empty promises. You naturally grieve the ending of the relationship as your heart only focuses on what could have been, not what actually was. Comparing the fantasy to the reality may be a hard truth to accept but its the only way to see the situation for what it is and realise you deserve better.
Wow you said that elegantly for real exact description of my ex girlfriend
This is why the ex Narcissist is completely embarrassed and hides now! He knows that I know he's a false self!
It’s so weird how they stay married for years and then leave one summer day. 25 years, have kids and then leave. Bloop. I’m glad he’s gone because now I can see the reality but wow they are freaks
Yes ask them who they are going to be today and see the fire in their eyes
Its emotional abuse of the highest level ...my narcissistic partner launced a smear campaign against me when I left her false allegations involving the police which went nowhere My ex narc died 2 tears ago of cancer ....I honestly thought it was karma and haved moved on in my life
Your breakdown of 3 lies is spot on. Ive been told all 3 for the reasons you analyse. Intuitively doubted what was said but hoped for best. Turned out exactly as you predict. Now i know for sure. Thanks.
Once you know them, you can watch it in slow motion. Quite interesting.
They run the same scripts on everyone! They act and tell these long stories! 😂 It's so absurd!
My ex told me he loved me 3 wks into the relationship and I didn’t say it back. He was offended that I didn’t say it back.
The next month I’m going to marry you he said. I’m not sure about that one since I had been married before.
You’re right about the love bombing and we were engaged 8 months later.
After we got married we didn’t have a romantic evening.
After that he definitely changed. Some good days but many were indifferent.
Anniversaries and my birthday when it meant a lot to me were “ no big deal” to him.
I stayed for the sake of the kids but I was unhappy being with someone that made me feel so alone!
Anouska you are so great at picking out all these issues. I am moved in so many ways how you pick topics that I have learned a great deal!
Never new about narcissism but am fully aware now .
I like who I am and I will not ever change for someone else to fit into their life.
Moving on to a better life!
I knew from the moment they say that they love me, that they're lying, but i said to myself: ok, let's check it out. Then i wasted 15+ years of my life for these devilish screwers here, and of course, they're still after me.
Everything that you've said was all true, just broke up with mine a month ago. Praying, Going no contact and listening to you is helping me a lot. I'm still struggling to forget the good memories but Im happy that I'm finally free from him❤
I thought something off the moment I met them. They never told me that they loved me. Never! Probably because they knew I wouldn't have believed them if they had said it.
I am very big empath and I always been. I was 12 years in marriage with female narcissist. At the end of relationship which offcourse she ended I literally almost died. But im still here, free with better understanding of it all. Thank you for your videos it really really helps ❤
I been through it for 5 years with my ex gf. Man what a roller coaster. I’m glad to be off. I broke down and was crushed over her for weeks. I still have my days. But I’m getting better ❤️🩹
@@Babyfaceg_You are walking in the right direction. You're not making this craziness up. Stay strong..
@@e.lester5844 thanks it’s been real hard I have to admit. But say by day I’m seeing hope
14 years for me, i realized because she called me a narcissist, so naturally i started looking for information, how ironic.. I walked away(for the last time) 5 weeks ago. I´m in a very dark place now after totally draining myself . I´m glad to hear that you made it out, that gives me hope.
Future-faking is the worst. My ex used to tell me how SOMEDAY we will live together, travel, blablabla
But in PRESENT moment, he cheated, lied, lived like a hippie
I was bombared with ,Your the love of my life,my soulmate,I wish I had met you sooner,I've never met anyone like you before. Me being me believed it and fell for it.
Same here; almost word for word.
Wow, I had the exact same string of compliments also... sheesh.. don't worry, I was hooked into it all as well, free now though..
@upclosesneakers6875 Cheers buddy. I'm free to ,but after a painful discard and a horid smear campaign. She tried to destroy my reputation and life.
Me too 😢
Same … “ur my soulmate “….and all that crap
The jury is in on this one 100% same script word for word this channel is priceless stay strong 💪
He is going to find himself in a divorce very shortly I am done.
Good 😊 you have reached the point where you are not willing to take anymore from this person. Stay 💪🏽 strong your doing the right thing 😊
Better make shortly shorter, it's much better here in G-D's favor
Narcissists blaspheme G-D!
Go to counseling and try before running away.
If he's a narcissist leave skid marks and don't look back
Narcissists blaspheme G-D!
My ex husband told me I was a Covert Narc, and now I am trying to see if I am or not
the past 3 weeks he has said that to me many times a day and not he has stopped it.. he is also right now doing something I never ever thought I would walk in this..
`Thanks again, reminding me of the 3 lies, they are accurate , but Ive lived past that ass, nd doing good thanks to your videos.
Love how after 2:35 she says. lets just jump into it
Greatest life experience is setting a standard for oneself versus the outward validation. They teach you to flip the script inward. Need nothing have everything. Honestly, they're just cowards playing a full mask with no conscious intention. My advice, don't talk to anyone on social media unless you meet them in person. It's a rife nest with ill intent
You're just awesome, Anoushka!!. You hit the nail on the head everytime, and I'm learning so much from you. Thankyou for sharing your wisdom with all of us. 🤗🧡
Thanks knowledge is power in dealing with these demons 😈👹🤡
Exactly what happened to me and what I observed, right into the pleasure addiction center of my brain. I'm no longer stuck, but rebuilding his damage. This happened by cellphone during pandemic lockdown making me his caged victim. I knew him in high school. He was the same.
Still cant believe i allowed all the crap😂.... Leading a new life only relying onn myselve and Sigma mindset... It always worked like that.... 😂💪 No distractions i dont need or want anymore....
You're not alone.
I just keep coming back for the teacher now grumpy 😁😂💪😜😂😂😂😂
22 yrs just left him me and my kids gone !🎉
Wow!! Another incredible video!! 💯
Thank you for your help, you present so well! ❤ and gratitude from Australia 🇦🇺
This comment is not for me..
Anoushka... are you ok? I saw the devastation you were expressing when talking about #3. You are an inspiration to others and sharing your insight on this kind of behavior. Be strong and keep up the great work you are doing. You are a survivor like the rest of us. Much love and happiness.
You nailed it, Anoushka.
That's why when the narcissist I had used to tell me she loved me with the biggest tightest hugs it felt so real. Because in the moment & in the way she understands love she was loving me for all the supply she was getting out of me. Also how impulsive she is it could go exactly the opposite whenever she threw a spanner. It took me a long time to work it all out because I'd never known a fake person before in my life!~
Stupid people are fooled by first impressions, intelligent people know better, that's why my recent narcissist didn't get to me, she was still annoying though.
You are so accurate in everything you say. Spot on. Thank you for this channel Anoushka, your knowledge is powerful and a great help for us victims to gain understanding and perspective. It’s comforting to know where not along. You’re the best ❤
Thank You as Always ... can't help but notice the space you're in for this offering ... so soothing dark and mellow, a clean special place ... protected and strong ... and soft and subterranean quiet
Skip to 2:27
Anoushka,, thank you for your awesome work
It is crazy that narc's follow the same patterns, it's as if you were present in my experience lol
Peace, I do appreciate what you do
Thanks this really helps me. It seems to be the situation that I'm dealing with in nut shell actually summing everything up. Thankyou for all you do for so many people all the time. I really enjoyed the video. It's exactly what is and has been going in my life,relationship and mairage of 15 years. God bless you.
Your welcome and I am so happy to hear that the video has been helpful 😊😊
Its lack of impulse control at ista worse x
Thankyou so much. Most of us are taken for the ride of our lifetime. Repeats happen too. Sad but we don't learn or see it coming until we are already in it.
Mine always made promises and broke them a week or two later. I learned that she was full of it and she is fake.
You are so trained on this wow
Mine us incarcerated and is doing the same behaviors again. Psinting this picture if when he gets out, were going to do this that and the other
The fitst time mine said i love i was like oh ok, it seemed odd
Thank you so much🙃 just having insight and information is extremely helpful.
My narcissistic boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said I don't think so!
Thanks for this educational message. ❤
So true at the beginning I thought he was just like the boy next door wouldn’t hurt me how wrong was I ! He was nothing like the man I fell in love with I remember the whole relationship saying to him where’s the man I fell in love with and after every split usually a few months I got that man back but within a couple of months it was gone again and after 6 times it got shorter each time with more pain more lies more women more gaslighting no emotion I made far too many excuses for his behaviour and you’re right it is such a big lie telling someone you love them when you’re talking and sleeping with other women behind your back and promising you they want to grow old with you , that they want to travel with you love a life with you the hope you have is untold and if you love someone you don’t do that you don’t want to hurt the person that you authentically love how could you but they can they just don’t know what it means to love someone
They don’t even know how to love themselves and 😂😂.So sad
Thank you so very much I needed that more than you’ll ever know
Thank you so much today I realise why I was still stack and still thinking about him until this video has helped me thank you once again ❤
this is exactly what she did in under a year sad
You're somewhat off on this one. The narcissist doesn't "future fake".... they believe in the shared fantasy, it isn't to keep you stuck. When they tell you they "love you"... they truly believe they love you, and they do!... in their own self serving, shallow way. These things are instinctual and subconscious to the narcissist, they aren't lies. Narcissists don't gaslight either... they believe in their alternate version of reality.
The psychopath (and some malignant narcissists) are fully aware they're gaslighting, lying, faking, and that they don't love you, they know exactly who/what they are.
Hi cannot wait to catch a live.
Yes, all of these did happen to me too. How should I / others prevent these 3 lies? They really actg like, as I think / do etc. They did tell me several times they love me even proposed to me. Oh yes, they made, various different empty promisses. Thank goodness, I didn't bite at their bait. - Thank you Anushka much appreciate it.
So true 👌🏻
Anouska det er jeg enig med dig om skønne dig, og ha en vidunderlig dag 😉👍
Ultimate window dressers
my narcissist who is my ex-step daughter has this image of herself which totally doesn't match what she really looks like. i heard her tell a beautician one time that she was a true blonde. she wasn't. you can't fool a beautician. it's like she doesn't care if a person knows she's lying. she's also very skinny and flat-chested. i told her one time that i had quit wearing bras because they were just too uncomfortable. and she said Oh, my breasts are so large i just have to wear a bra. i felt a stab of pain in my heart when she said that because i knew then something wasn't right about her. there were other things too, but i started trying to find out why a person would say things about themself that was so obviously not true. and not even bat an eye.
I have been married to him long 43 years a lot abuse and his cheating so yes i am done
Don't waste another minute on him.
I was 47 years and he cheated the whole time. I waited till our twilight years of 75 and threw him out. My payback!
Spot On...
Hurt People Hurt People 😔Time to Get Away From People Like This 😔 Narc People need Therapy. Very Sad for People who Behave this Way 😔🙏Lord Help
Thank you
I have an important question…..
Can a narcissist change their behavior when they had a near death experience?????😢
Nope
No
Lol.😂😂😂😂
I need a way out
Run Forest Run
Hi so im aliitle confused , because i wonder if i am an narcissists then. Only because my partner did everything, not that i asked just did and buy huge presents ? But i never asked for them . Also because he left with no communication again, must be over 25 times in a five year situationship because he says he cant talk!? The way i have reacted to emails is shocking! I know my language is abusive abd cruel. It is just because he never told me why just left and ghosted me over and over again . No explanation , no sit down conversation, nothing. So i call ,txt email untill i feel the stalker!? I know its awful 😢
She said she has a split personality
Very questionable.
Can a narcissist be cured….???
My ex narc and I had a great connection and actually a great relationship for 6 yrs. never mistreated me or angry. He was a great bf (both in our 50’s) How do I know the difference at the beginning between a narc and a normal person? I’m sooo confused.
Ya i was told by me ex gf I the beginning that God told her she was going to meet a man and gave me all the details as to why only after the got to know quite a bit about me within 2 weeks , and she said that God said I was the one and her soulmate , , then I can remember her saying once after 1 year of dating her that God told her that i wasn’t the man for her , that was when I was putting down boundaries , and enforcing them … also here’s a psychotic one , when I first met her she talked about an ex she wish she was still with and hoped it would eventually work out with them , but I found out she was still with him in the beginnig of our relationship…weird sh@t, so she says she’s not with him but wants it to work with him , but she’s still with him , lolol how about that mind F@ck… i should of ran like the flash at that point but i thought she was trying to make me jealous … well I was horribly wrong about that …
Hope your out now 😂😂😂
The music in the background is too much
❤