Sometimes, they simply walk away and you never hear from them again. You don't matter enough to them to destroy. In a way, you'll be quite lucky if they do...
Narcissists are our worst nightmares but our biggest teachers! They tear you down, but your self love builds you back stronger. And, you become unfuckwithable! Almost makes all the hell they put you through worth it. Life after a narcissist becomes so much easier.
@@SabrinaDacosta & Sara, we are all entitled to our comments and i dont need your validation either. Smoke another bowl, well i don't even know what that means so that fell flat. I was quite polite in my comments, if you look at my first ever sentence and you understood it properly, you would realise that it said move on with your life and be happy. No revenge needed.
I swear you not lying 😭😭😭. I just noticed 2 months ago now I say no to everything and do it yourself since nobody do nothing for you. That $41 Uber trip to get a haircut had him on 100. You won’t use me up leaving in April f that
I don't doubt this at all. But quite often the victims of narcissists do something similar. We go out of our way to try and satisfy them, but more often as a way to fix an apparent problem that they've identified, wed make ourselves overly available to the narcissist and agree to do all manner of services for them, and usually we secretly we want something in return. What we usually want is for a return to how things used to be with the narcissist, we want to bring an end to their silent treatment, we want to remove any threat of abandonment by trying to become indispensable to them at a cost of our sense of self. We're not trying to ruin them however, but we're not being honest and we definitely seek something in return.
3:50 - 4:02 The last trick narcissist will do is to destroy you before they leave because they want you to feel anxious and depressed. They have no empathy
I am dealing with a situation right now. The narcissist(s) in my life right now are doing their level best to try and make me feel worthless, but I know my worth, and I am standing firm. The one, a winter roommate has shown her true colors is leaving tomorrow (I hope). Tomorrow I have a busy day of work, and I'm getting my hair done. I will not be here when she leaves, no tearful good byes, no contact. Today I have work and I am getting a tooth pulled. I am completely ignoring her. She does not know how to deal with this. Oh well, the relationship is over and I have nothing to say. I don't think she has ever dealt with someone who just doesn't give a damn anymore. Her loss. In conclusion I have a lot of experience with narcissists now-years and years and I know how to handle the situation-It wasn't always like that, I am now.
I did it. I challenged the narcissist. I didn't know what I was doing until much later, until I started educating myself. And it was HELL. The slander, the flying monkeys, the public shaming. I went FULL THROTTLE and warned another woman about him. I was near close to ending my life after the further abusive behaviour I brought upon myself. I don't reccommend challenging the narcissist. It is a double edged sword. For a moment, a brief moment you feel vindicated, but then the onslaught of hell begins. I'm almost at a year "out" and it literally has been "day by day" in healing. I had no idea how this would further slow down the healing. I wish I had known better. On a positive note, he didn't destroy me. I do have snippets of joy. I'm not crazy. I'm still that loving and compassionate woman I remember myself to be. But this video, this today hit home like a ton of bricks.
Hang in there Dana , I'm going through the same thing . Every day it gets a little bit better. It helped me to make a list of all the mean things he did to me . When I start to miss him I look at my huge list and remember how horrible it all was . Stay strong , you WILL get over it eventually ❤
I want to warn the Mistress he left my son and I for. But I know he has already painted a picture of me to her that I am crazy. I am NOT crazy. IAM an abuse survivor. I feel sorry for her. I know him and his manipulative ways. He WILL destroy her too. Destroying people IS all he is about !! He plays the victim. He is a Covert Narcissist. The mask he wears outside of home is exact opposite of who he REALLY IS at home. 16+ years we have endured his constant abuse. I don’t wish what he has put me through on anyone. I desperately NEED him to leave me and our son alone. We DESPERATELY NEED HELP !!!!
We have all learned the hard way. It is because we were trying to solve the problem using the tools everyone has been taught....being assertive, setting boundaries, good communication, etc. Narc abuse is so insideous it turns everything upside down. All of those things work AGAINST us with a narcissist. That is why there is only 1 way out with a narcissist....no contact.
I haven’t seen my precious granddaughters in 5 months because I questioned the adopted parents about the adoption papers. They lied on them and I called them out on it. Well instead of making it right they just blocked me. Totally gutless people
Please address the demonic factor. They literally feel happy when you're in pain and would be over joyed if their victim would delete themselves... this is obviously demonic.
This is the part with them I simply don’t understand. Because I do believe there were times she truly didn’t want to see me hurt. But it’s like another side of her took over at times and she would perform emotional warfare on me.
I was told the mothafucka that wants you is me no one wants your ass then that she is the only person that loves me nobody else don’t love you.🤷🏿♂️😵💫. Literal demons in them.
The last day I saw the Narc in my life was pitiful. He tried to put me down in the worst way pointing out faults that I certainly did not have. so I challenged him and asked him who was he referring to. As I looked at him I saw a pitiful demon standing in front of me. He even tried to tell me that he would miss me. I turned around and told him that was a lie, that he would only miss the things that I use to do for him. That was the day I put the trash out and will never ever look back. Thank God I'm finally free from this Demon.
- Dear @paulettekins3115 - One thing came in for me / to me, very well!! Either let them talk / don't reply - or ask them? Proveit? Prove it, with legitimate, ubfabricated, untempered, / vcut proof?! Can't? Tough luck dahh l ing? pick on yourself or on your narcissistic pal?! Have a loser of a day! ( Since they are losers! ) -
If you have lived many years in the Far East and then come back to the USA, you see how rampant narcissism is here. In the Far East, one is admired for being humble.
If you’re reading this, just know that you’re not alone. The pain you’re enduring will only benefit you in the long run. TRUST & FAITH. It is truly, a blessing in disguise. KEEP GOING. Have no fear! Choose to heal! Fight the Good fight.💪🏼 Love & Light! 🤍✨ Namaste 🙏🏼
Omg I know. I've been telling her to piss off for 5 years now and she still acts like everything is great, then breaks up with me, and I'm like we broke up eight years ago remember! Totally whack behavior
It took me fifteen years to see the pattern and covert narcissism and then I came across the following quote; "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.". The penny dropped all of a sudden ........and I walked away. I became free.
Perfect statement "the point is that you escape, that you get your life back, you get your self-worth back". Yes, because they will not change, it gets worse every time you let them back in the door. Protect your heart, you are worth being truly loved. Until that day, love yourself and work on self-care!
My ex Narc did just that, basically left me in pieces, it took years to recover, after a bad burnout,it's just pure evil, did anyone else go through this?
They want complete allegiance They don't want you seeing past the game You seeing the truth is a threat to their control You seeing the truth is a threat to their domination
i wish i knew these facts earlier, now im going through the last phase where i get the complete silent treatment and she has multiple new supplies and had two or three already while with me( found out in the end, was too many white lies and things just not adding up) and everytime i was crippled because of her induced anxiety and starvation of love after sex bombing. i couldnt get out of my bed, and she just stood there and called it a sick game to play. i didnt play. i was so mentally stressed and starved of love i couldnt move out of my bed. i just wanted to be left alone.
I have been calling him out left and right,I ain't afraid of him and he will lose me, he can never completely destroy me,I am light,love, energy and magnetic
One thing I know I’ll never be destroyed. As long as I continue to stay prayed up and watch your videos along with other videos I’ll stay knowledgeable. Move in silence and continue to work on your exit strategy if you can’t leave right away. Remember everyone you are worthy of having a healthy/wonderful relationship. I’m praying for everyone that’s going through this ♥️. Thank you so much Anoushka!
Well done you. NEVER let them beat you. I secretly voice recorded the ex narc for 5 months before I got out, it was so bad that i took 100 recordings to the police and I told neighbours for my own safety. He’s now on the police database and all recordings have been uploaded to their system, if he does it again and a woman reports him, he’s toast. One bit of advice, don’t give them cash for utilities or your share of things, make it bank transfers and write down what it’s all for. He was telling people I never paid for anything,but his bank statements and mine prove differently. Try to be one or more steps ahead of them, but don’t let them know.
Excellent share ~ You can never be too careful, its an experience you never want to repeat. Your word against theirs, the truth versus lies. Protect yourself in every way possible to prevent being swindled, taken advantage of, discredited and railroaded. Its the toughest fight of your life. Its war
Me too mate. I walked away on the 10th of Jan and she had deleted everything of us from her facebook in 24 hours and had a new boyfriend in just 7 days
if you pay attention; you would know exactly what they are, because they give themselves away at the very beginning. Excessive compliments, full attention, the way they leave conversations etc. You knew right away that something was off, but you ignored your gut. Well keep venting, it's therapeutic.
3 years free. I was fighting lymphoma during my journey. The toxic stress literally nearly killed me . After a decade , I got desensitised to the cruelty and in line with what you’re saying, they ramp up the cruelty, to make it count because you become conditioned to the blows. My monster was looking for a submissive confident, what he got, was me. If this story is you, you have to leave. It will never get better, only worse to levels of depravity that you are too embarrassed to tell anyone. Love your channel chikka x
Accepting this one thing has helped me tremendously well. There is an old parable with a frog and a scorpion. There was this large river the scorpion needed to get across. The scorpion can’t swim. The scorpion saw a frog swimming in and out of the river with ease. The scorpion went up to the frog and asked if they could carry them onto the frogs back over to the other side. The frog said your going to sting me and kill me. The scorpion explained that it was ridiculous to think they would sting and kill the frog while going across the river, because the scorpion would also drown and die. The frog was convinced and agreed to take the scorpion over to the other side. Half way across the river the scorpion stung the frog and injected its deadly poison into it. The frog said, “why did you do that, you have doomed us both”. The scorpion replied, “I am a scorpion, it’s in my nature to sting and kill you regardless of consequences.” The narcissist is the scorpion, it’s not personal that they destroy you and crush your soul. It’s just who they are regardless of their victims.
Perfect analogy! I only disagree with one thing said; that it is instinctual and not personal. It most certainly is personal. Your destruction is their power gain, they go into it having consciously chosen you. They saw in you the very thing they wanted; be it your success, your compassion, your intelligence, your overall personage. They saw it in you and began their pursuit. That is very very personal. All the while they are actively damaging and destroying you, they know exactly what they are doing, and they enjoy every step. Your pain is their gain and that makes them happy. Your destruction is their success, and that makes them happy. They will never forget you, especially if they did some deep damage because that's a win for them. They will never forget you if you were the one to walk, you did the thing they hate because they weren't done ruining you yet, and they will forever wonder if they can resume their goal to take you all the way to the bottom. That is very personal. Every single thing they do to you is personal. It is you that takes that element away from them. You, the victim, are the one to keep it from being personal. The desire to survive and thrive is what's not personal, it's merely the will to live. You are the strong one.
The narcissist never runs off to greener pastures! That's what they would like you to think. Hey I thought that too when I was trauma bonded. It's all an illusion they just went on to new supply! A narcissist is a very codependent individual they need a body at all times they will even settle for a pet they just need supply! That's their lifeline. I educate myself daily on these videos on these predators been doing so for over a year now and still learning. I will continue to keep my foot on the neck of those serpent's until I feel I'm done! The world has no place for these kind of people! It's time to take a stand and limit this destruction caused by these individuals called the narcissist! Love always wins! And the narcissist always lose. 👎🏾
Exactly, they just go to another petrol/gas station to top up the permanently empty tank in desperation for the next source. Their spitting, venomous, diabolic rages are demonic confessions in an attempt to get that intolerable cesspit out of them. It's all about what they think, what they are and what they do - it was never about us! What a mental merry go round, hellish hamster wheel existence, forever scampering around for the same result. We can always hop off to explore a good life again; and just leave them to keep circling.
The one narcissist I knew mistreated his pet. I felt horrible for him. He'd kick him. And he didn't have a good personality. A Doberman. A dog that shouldn't have acted like that. He acted like his dog was just a supply he could kick to the side because he was old. That's what you'll feel like too when ur old if u stay... Get out now.
It’s hard for someone who has feelings to understand the narcissist. Remember, they are robots and always act in what they believe is their own interest.😂
To all the gentle souls who have endured the toxic abuse of a narcissist know this one thing, other people recognize them, they can see the abuse you have endured, even if you never said a word. It will follow them all the days of their lives, long after you have moved on, they will continue the abuse with someone new. It has taken me so long to see the end results of my narcissists abuse. The new person who believes they are what the narc needs and you were never good enough or smart enough, or whatever enough, just rest in the peace that new person will eventually become what you broke from. You are free to blossem in your own space. Many blessings Thank you Anoushka, this is a great video, you're wisdom is off the charts.
“They have to feel better than you”. When your discarded it’s ok, breathe, educate yourself. They don’t love, you do. Let it go and take a step forward to self healing. ✊🏽
The ex narc would tell me I had an ugly personality. He was telling me he was deciding wether to stay in the relationship. After 12 yrs. I left. I made the decision for myself. Best thing I ever did. His actions in the so called relationship when the mask finally slipped was ugly.
Thanks Anoushka, thats what the narc is looking to do to me right now, but I got away! I know she's very angry at me, but we're done, bcuz I called it off when she least expected it!..I've learnt so much from all of you that shared so much info about narcissism, and with God's help I was delivered!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, this form of mental and emotional abuse is so dangerous, they need to be reported somehow. Funny how there's a credit rating, a criminal record yet these people can sail in and out of relationships praying on people with hearts. I'm never gona be the same person that I was before my entanglement with a covert narcissist. And years later I still have memories hitting me out of nowhere of the hurtful moments. But I'm doing alright. The rebuild takes along time.
I’m still seven years out and I still struggle. It’s hard because I had two kids with her, so escape wasn’t an option. I’m so much better now, and I just use the gray rock method now.
@mobileradiofitter .. you are correct 💯 you'll never be the same,,,, you'll be better and different and smarter, so I think it's a good thing in the end that you'll never be the same. Would you want to?
@@teressamckinnie6878 I think it's just all the gas lighting that took its toll, it was everything from certain shops , brands, food, beliefs, that's the bit that plays on my mind which was never there before. I'm my ideal BMI, calm and understanding and generally at peace which is what she attacked on an often basis. So I'd say I was a better person before and my current journey is getting back to that. There's one thing I have learned which is never to let myself be consumed by someone else's problems
Update, she phoned me yesterday, we had a chat and I explained she can't treat people like she's treated me, and how upset she left me for refusing to play her games and carry on being treated like an emotional punch bag. I said it's the opposite of care or compensation. She then sent me a photo of a rose plant I gave her a year ago and said she does care because she still waters it. The first thing that came to mind was a plant is more important than me. I said i was busy and ended the call
I agree the cruelty is incomprehensible Yes they shift to nice only while you are running in circles for them as soon as you are done they are pure evil. They escape somehow from reality and their cruelty is power
I’m so grateful that my husband of 32 years, had to ditch his sugar baby and come back for me to take care of him in hospice for tha last 4 months of his life. I took care of tha gold digger (totally happy being a dirty little secret), deleted everything about her. I got some closure and as much as he tried to destroy me, he needed me, and now he’s gone and my life is peaceful. It’s sad that he passed away but the reality is that if he were still alive, my torture would be ongoing. I won
She come back and I'm in relationship with her after 3 years ghosted but she is 15..bt I have doubt because she changed fully talking to very much bt I noticed one thing she not apritiate me ...any way
Today is St Valentines Day. I am sick, I am sad and I am exhausted. Every day, I wake up and literally claw myself to the surface to make a life to stop feeling so sad. I left him and don’t ever want him back but I feel I will never be lovable or worthy of love. I guess this is how I will live the rest of my life. Alone, sad and without love. Just have to accept that.
If you are living there is still hope. The lies your were told were lies. Love yourself, you are worth it! Be the best friend to your friend in the mirror. She so deserves it!❤
This is absolutely SPOT ON! Mine tried to destroy me before she left. I watched her rage in complete amusement. This was amusing to me because I had lived through the very painful experience of watching my mom pass away from cancer which instilled immense inner strength. It's crazy how an experience like that can make a person stronger later in life. That said, I implemented strict no contact & I'm loving every second of the peace of mind that it has bought. I think she's still mad @ me for not breaking and/or begging her🤭😂
I totally understand what you are saying. I lost my sister to breast cancer at 58. Diagnosed and gone in 2 weeks. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I have ever done. When I ended it with malignant narc after 10 years together, I drew on the strength I knew I had after losing my sister. The narc is so insignificant. Broke trauma bond. Healing every day. I believe our loved ones would be super proud. Wishing you the best! 🤗
@@lazycatdayz4ever905 First of all, please accept my condolences for your loss. You're right our loved ones who've passed will be proud of us for having the strength to walk away. Taking the healing the process one day a time is the best way to handle it. You got this!
I just treated a narcissist, for demanding from me,help. I refused to, ( it was really very hard to me. ) Iturned the table on her, andnot cusrsingly, but continuously kept telling her N O - N O - NO! I left it at that. But I felt very bad, yet I knew, I was / am the victom. + Thank you A noushka, this tape, actually came on time, believe it, or not!
They surely do want to hurt you so bad you end yourself. Very sickening indeed. These types of people never truly get to trust and feel anything real. They are the ones who lose in life no matter how they seem. Do not be fooled by these evil ones. Lean on the Lord! And Stay strong!God bless your healing.
In the beginning I was devastated when his mask fell off, however then I studied him until I moved out. He tried to crush me, but getting wiser to him, he ended up crushing himself into the ground. For the last few months I had been voice recording him which he didn’t know about until after I left. I needed to know I wasn’t going crazy and that this was real and documented in case I needed it. He got so verbally vicious that I ended up going to the Police and lodged a complaint about him. Much as this was all very upsetting and at times scary, I stood up to him and let him away with nothing, he couldn’t wait to get rid of me. Not long before I moved out he was barging into my bedroom day and night without knocking and just mouthing off, after the 8th time in one day I just told him exactly what I thought of him, and that a friend of mine laughed and said ‘he thinks he’s gods gift to women, THAT THING’ and that shut him up, he went squirming out of the room and stayed away for days. The fact that I exposed him to not only neighbours because he was getting a bit frightening, but also to the Police, will have shattered him. He was told by the Police to stay away from me and that’s when he found out he had been voice recorded. They uploaded 100 of them onto their database. So, if he is ever reported by a woman again, he’s in very serious trouble. If you can, record them. I used my iPad then put it all onto my laptop then an external hard drive so that I would have back ups. Also, NEVER give them cash, always do bank transfers, it leaves a paper trail. He would tell people I wasn’t paying for utilities etc, but I have all the bank statements showing I had paid everything and then some. Once you know what they are up to, you have to prepare for what is coming, don’t be taken off guard, get 10 steps ahead of them.
@@dodibenabba525 had he not secretly recorded me on his mobile phone after he annoyed me so much, then replayed it while he stood laughing, I would never have thought to record him. He wasn’t as smart as he thought, in his rage fits he would be so irate, he would tell me what he would do in the future. He said that he would take me to court for defamation of character and had 2 ex girlfriends and another woman friend all lined up to give him character references, saying he would win and want £25,000 compensation. This was to scare me off from saying anything else. Everything I said about him was true and I recorded it all so there was no way he could deny it. Plus the Police also having the recordings, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Everything backfired on him, we bought a house together, 3 months later after he threatened me, he decided to sell the house, I agreed. He desperately tried to talk me round and I refused, that’s when he upped the verbal abuse. In the end he cancelled the sale and bought me out. So he got the house but then had to get a mortgage and sell all his shares to pay me back. I heard him say to his accountant that he would have to take the penalty for not being able to pay his tax bill on time. They all get caught in the end, if it hadn’t been me, eventually it would have been someone else. 👍
@helen hart I'm currently going through a divorce from a covert malignant narcissist, 33 years. I really don't know how I'm still alive. Heavenly Father surely keeps me safe. If I wrote my life story no-one would believe me. Really pleased for you. 😊❤️👆🙌
@@dodibenabba525 I’m so sorry you are going through all this. You will get through it, never let them beat you down. I’m the same as you, I could write a book but they would put it in the fiction section as it’s all unbelievable. However, most peoples stories are exactly the same, there has to be a secret website these narcs look at to swap ideas. I now look upon him as a gift, I knew evil existed, but he brought it up close and personal. When the devil can’t get near you, he sends a narc. Look him straight in the eye and don’t blink. See you on the other side. 👍👍👍
The most important people in my life were narcissists. I only realized this a few years ago and now am recovering. A few of this narcs got hit by karma bus. It just takes a while.
Don’t put yourself in a position to be destroyed be a narcissistic person. As soon as you see traits of a unstable person get out. Run 🏃🏾♀️ don’t worry about being hovered, don’t worry about who they’re now with. Just get out. It’s not worth it. You want to be with people who are healthy. Don’t let those demons drain you
She gave me joy and happiness, a big ego boost, and built a beautiful relationship on her way in. I became aware something was wrong and documented myself. Now it's devaluation time, but it's not working because I knew it was coming. It's insane how they can turn around and threaten to take away what they have with you just because they don't like something u did or someone you hang out with. Mind you I have never even met them in person.
Sorry bro. This sounds pretty nuts. Are you sure you are not the narcissist? How can someone build a beautiful relationship with you if you never met them in person?
At the end he told me, no one can hurt you anymore... Yes I looked damage but after 16 months far away from him, I am better than ever. It wouldn't be this way if God wouldn't had came to rescue me.
Your 100% right. Thank you for validating how I think things really were. Once you discover it's a one-way street, you realize ( love is blind ) is only hurting you and you alone.
My beloved pet passing away actually gave me the strength in my grief to finally discard the Narcissist. He didn't see it coming. I'm out mixing again and more contented in myself. Less anxiety and much more time for me.
Scary to think this video has basically shown all the points of the last 2 and a half year of my life with a narcissist, always the victim never there fault…….Onwards and upwards now time to get my life back 🎉
These videos are incredible along with Dr Ramani. 8 weeks in from a very painful discard. Im in no contact. I haven't been hoovered as yet and not sure if I will because I called them out. Be strong and enjoy your freedom Paul. We get hooked because we are good, genuine and loving empaths.
I feel like you know my situation, this is exactly what my adult son has done to me , and in his childhood, his father and grandparents abandoned him , now he has them in his life and he has done to me what you have just described, thank you 😊
Absolutely they destroy you at the end. While living in the house for a few months together (until our property division was settled), at the end he said the most cruel, hurtful things to me. Things I never dreamed he'd ever say. We were married 25 years and he discarded me for NS. But, all throughout that marriage there were red flags I shouldn't have ignored.
Exactly I stood up to him when he was gaslighting me. He made me feel like I'm crazy holding him accountable to his lies and manipulation. He just ghosted me left me unread and posted another woman on social madia. I'm still healing from this betrayal and moving on
My brother did this to me - When I stopped playing his game, he wished me"a good death" and has fortunately not interacted again. I feel sad because he is my brother but relieved that the gaslighting is now over. The attempts at destroying me through control is now over.
Right before he moved out he did all kinds of damage...unplugged the sump pump, destroyed my property in the basement, disconnected brake lights on my van, removed parts on faucets...and he made threats, " now I will have to destroy your life ". They never stop. I remarried and he called my husband last year. He hung up on him. We moved far away thank God.
Thank you for this explanation - makes the destructive behaviour of my brother towards me make so much sense. For years I have struggled to work out "Why' - the gaslighting and false blame and vicious attempts at control never made sense. Now they do- fortunately he has discarded me- I fear for his next victim - I fear for my brother's warped mind.
Just be ready when this time comes because a narcissist will destroy you only if you allow it……remember one thing, you know exactly how this person is and how they behave and you have a lot to defend yourself with…..at the end maybe you just might have to destroy them before they destroy you. ✊
She texted me 2 days ago i blocked her and yesterday on valentines day she messaged i blocked her again staying away from her . Already taken alot of mental tortures 😖
Mine spent a year “let me clear my head”. Nothing about me was worth fighting for. I just kept sobbing “I would have never done this to you! I proved that. I stayed when you cheated. I adopted our dog w you which you now say I use to keep you. You have no idea how much I loved you!”
I see and hear a lot of hurt Anoushka in your voice. It’s still raw, for you and many of us. I get it! We will get there. Value yourself first . Love yourself so you are ready to love again. We will get there because we have a heart 💟
When I called him out he made me feel like complete trash! Turned it around on me then ignored me for two days as punishment smh. Like I did something wrong for questioning him. Im so tired of all of it and just want my peace back
I survived! And it was a nightmare! With two sons. I ended up with custody physical and legal! Thanks for all the information you’ve given, it has been a game changer, and a life giving help thanks 👍
Wow i cannot believe the things you were saying about the narc, i have lived with one for 40 odd years and he says all those things you mentioned he told me the other day to crawl back into the gutter where he dragged me from he is toxic i am used to him now and just shrug it off.I have my 2 grown up children that support me and they actually turned out lovely human beings which is amazing being bought up around him.
Once they know that you have information on their true self they realize that they are not going to get anything from you anymore when I found out the truth I felt a huge decompression and relief just to know the truth I was free the spell was broken
My husband of almost 30 yrs poisoned me right before we split up. He had done this before but I couldn’t prove it and he had the children and friends believe him that I was crazy.I am a survivor and I don’t know if I will ever have another relationship again. He had a child with another woman , so many other women but he was so sneaky I could never prove it. Withholding sex was his thing from the very beginning. He was a vey charming successful man. So glad we are no longer together.
Smiling and enjoying others suffering - they enjoy it. Surrender or Stop word - nothing works, it actually makes it worse. You can't throw white flag, you can't say you want a break... They find the perfect time to abuse, when yoy are vulnerable or when you have other commitments like meetings or work. The more yoy say that you have to go and the more the meeting is important, the more narcs will use this situation... Or, during a long drive, when there is no choice to get out.. A true story: one time myself and my partner had an argument in the car and i said that i don't want to talk anymore i need to concentrate on the road... I dtopped talking and she started raging... She ended up pulling a steering wheel (i was driving) to tge side, so we almost crashed.. On motorway... 120km/hr... It doesn't take anything for narcs to start a fight, they don't value classical values like compassion, empathy, support, having interest in partners life. Well they do have interest in partners lufe but only to go through their phone/email/listening to rumours etc..
Its all about taking responsibility something the narcissist can't do. You have to understand that your happiness depends on you and no one else. By that same standard you are not responsible for anyone's happiness but the narcissist will make you feel like you are and the trick is removing yourself from a burden that was never yours to carry. Find peace with God and encourage them to do the same thats the best thing you can do.
I’m a professional mechanic ,, I can rebuild anything as long as I have parts ,, I built myself before her ,, now I have upgraded parts on order ,, and this will be a now brained .. what was her name ????
You can feel broken 3 to 4 years after they leave you, even if you don't communicate with them. Once they had control and they broke you and then went out to destroy you in your community, set up their friends up against you. They move onto a new relationship and new friends and even going into hiding gor 4 years and then can still stabb you in the back when they get everything yhey wanted out of you.
They do in fact, destroy you and sub consciously keep their mental hold on you even when you haven't had anything to do with them for 4 years. They make other people think you are the worse person on the earth
I've been calling out my Narc wife of 18 years for the past couple of years. Holding her accountable makes her furious and the rage is always turned around to make me the bad guy. She told all her friends that I'm crazy, a stalker, I'm Jekyll and Hyde... Then we separated. Then it was all about having her freedom to do what she wanted, moving on to a new source, except would contradict her behavior with words, or contradict her words with behavior, always keeping me guessing, never being honest, never revealing the truth, I had to go to extremes to learn the truth of what she was doing. It's been painful and really hard. I'm healing and just understanding it all has helped immensely. I'm not taking it so personally now.
after 15 yrs with a narc! from love bombing to discard.went to court battle(i won) triangulation,cheating,smear campaigning on social media, parental alienation,quarreled with my family and her family because of her manipulation. i can say is she's still not finish with me,she continuosly doing all of this evil works.may god help me!!!
hope u will come out of the satan fist soon. i no-contact with my malignant narc mom for years now, since then she did the same to me, smear campaign, triangulation, non-stop lies and recruited tons of flying monkeys to speak on her behalf. now i have years of peace. unfortunately for her, i'm not really concern how stupid relatives/friends think of my image.
Such an awakening for me! I am learning self-love for the first time in my life. Always gave everything…. Told I was such a bad person and truly began believing it! Almost lost my successful career…. BUT NO MORE!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I am now in the KNOWING!!!! I see it like no joke!!!!
Thank you very much for your content. My Ex gf tried the exact same thing with me. She knew she had no control over me, so she just ghosted me the day before we wanted to meet to clear things up. But this was just another lie, inorder to destroy me. It‘s crazy how pathetic people can be.
You've put this beautifully. I have literally watched several hundred videos over the years on the subject but you really did have something new to add, your perspective, that really rephrased things in a way I never properly put together before. Objectively, we know they do this. The narrative you gave on this subject is so insightful. Thanks!
Sometimes, they simply walk away and you never hear from them again. You don't matter enough to them to destroy. In a way, you'll be quite lucky if they do...
@@EmarieT-cn1li. The idea is YOU can walk away
My daughter did that and now trying to worm her way in because she wants something.. what... I have no idea and don't care anymore 😢
The narcissist had me put in jail after I stood up against him and I continued to fight back until they put him in Jail!
My brother uncle sister's ex's and brother in law
Narcissists are our worst nightmares but our biggest teachers! They tear you down, but your self love builds you back stronger. And, you become unfuckwithable! Almost makes all the hell they put you through worth it. Life after a narcissist becomes so much easier.
🤗🤗👏👏
But does it get better?
I can smell a narcissist like a dog can smell fear.
That's why I left the U.S. and moved to Ecuador.
I have my best life here.😊
@@daviddurango9562 Are all Americans narcissists then?
I had one tell me, “you’ll never be the same without me” she was right. I’m way better off.
My x husband said that to me 🙄
@@michelleg5371 But look at you now 🙏🏽
Say that again! 👏🏽
Right? Like Hell yes I'll never be the same, thank God.
Bro...I had a broad ask me if she was "the best Id ever had.?" and I had been married to a thai chick previously. Fucking ego
Smile all the time in the Narc's face, they hate this, be as happy as you can, move on and be the best you can without them, this is your revenge.
@Sara Fox Wow, you seem very angry, hope life works out for you.
She is not angry she is powerful . She told you the straight up truth without sugar coating and you can’t take the truth
@@SabrinaDacosta & Sara, we are all entitled to our comments and i dont need your validation either. Smoke another bowl, well i don't even know what that means so that fell flat. I was quite polite in my comments, if you look at my first ever sentence and you understood it properly, you would realise that it said move on with your life and be happy. No revenge needed.
That's a good one! I'll try that starting monday👍
@@SabrinaDacosta "powerful women" see no need to be rude to a total stranger online.
Now, narcissists on the other hand.....
Love your words. Your really helping me get through a terrible break up from a Narcissist who love bombed me. And tossed me out like garbage
😮😢
They have little or no patience. If they are nice to you, they are acting, because they want something from you.
Facts 💯
I swear you not lying 😭😭😭. I just noticed 2 months ago now I say no to everything and do it yourself since nobody do nothing for you. That $41 Uber trip to get a haircut had him on 100. You won’t use me up leaving in April f that
Yes that is true 💯
❤❤precisely and they act like angel to secure new supply and fan club
I don't doubt this at all. But quite often the victims of narcissists do something similar. We go out of our way to try and satisfy them, but more often as a way to fix an apparent problem that they've identified, wed make ourselves overly available to the narcissist and agree to do all manner of services for them, and usually we secretly we want something in return. What we usually want is for a return to how things used to be with the narcissist, we want to bring an end to their silent treatment, we want to remove any threat of abandonment by trying to become indispensable to them at a cost of our sense of self. We're not trying to ruin them however, but we're not being honest and we definitely seek something in return.
3:50 - 4:02
The last trick narcissist will do is to destroy you before they leave because they want you to feel anxious and depressed.
They have no empathy
I am dealing with a situation right now. The narcissist(s) in my life right now are doing their level best to try and make me feel worthless, but I know my worth, and I am standing firm. The one, a winter roommate has shown her true colors is leaving tomorrow (I hope). Tomorrow I have a busy day of work, and I'm getting my hair done. I will not be here when she leaves, no tearful good byes, no contact. Today I have work and I am getting a tooth pulled. I am completely ignoring her. She does not know how to deal with this. Oh well, the relationship is over and I have nothing to say. I don't think she has ever dealt with someone who just doesn't give a damn anymore. Her loss. In conclusion I have a lot of experience with narcissists now-years and years and I know how to handle the situation-It wasn't always like that, I am now.
I worked! But being me I have developed a huge fight over flight.
Thank you .....I was at the 3 min point wondering if she was ever going to get to the point .
Correct. They have no empathy.
@@1mikewalsh That doesn't make sense?
I did it. I challenged the narcissist. I didn't know what I was doing until much later, until I started educating myself. And it was HELL. The slander, the flying monkeys, the public shaming. I went FULL THROTTLE and warned another woman about him. I was near close to ending my life after the further abusive behaviour I brought upon myself. I don't reccommend challenging the narcissist. It is a double edged sword. For a moment, a brief moment you feel vindicated, but then the onslaught of hell begins. I'm almost at a year "out" and it literally has been "day by day" in healing. I had no idea how this would further slow down the healing. I wish I had known better.
On a positive note, he didn't destroy me. I do have snippets of joy. I'm not crazy. I'm still that loving and compassionate woman I remember myself to be. But this video, this today hit home like a ton of bricks.
Hang in there Dana , I'm going through the same thing . Every day it gets a little bit better. It helped me to make a list of all the mean things he did to me . When I start to miss him I look at my huge list and remember how horrible it all was . Stay strong , you WILL get over it eventually ❤
I want to warn the Mistress he left my son and I for. But I know he has already painted a picture of me to her that I am crazy. I am NOT crazy. IAM an abuse survivor. I feel sorry for her. I know him and his manipulative ways. He WILL destroy her too. Destroying people IS all he is about !! He plays the victim. He is a Covert Narcissist. The mask he wears outside of home is exact opposite of who he REALLY IS at home. 16+ years we have endured his constant abuse. I don’t wish what he has put me through on anyone. I desperately NEED him to leave me and our son alone. We DESPERATELY NEED HELP !!!!
We have all learned the hard way. It is because we were trying to solve the problem using the tools everyone has been taught....being assertive, setting boundaries, good communication, etc. Narc abuse is so insideous it turns everything upside down. All of those things work AGAINST us with a narcissist. That is why there is only 1 way out with a narcissist....no contact.
I haven’t seen my precious granddaughters in 5 months because I questioned the adopted parents about the adoption papers. They lied on them and I called them out on it. Well instead of making it right they just blocked me. Totally gutless people
@@phyllistouchstone7136 sorry to hear that.
Please address the demonic factor. They literally feel happy when you're in pain and would be over joyed if their victim would delete themselves... this is obviously demonic.
Shaneen Meghi youtube channel addresses the spiritual and demonic of Narcissism & is Excellent!
AMEN!
Its the smile that gives them away when they are trying to hurt you. Its evil.
My ex husbands eyes would turn black. Normally they were blue.
This is the part with them I simply don’t understand. Because I do believe there were times she truly didn’t want to see me hurt. But it’s like another side of her took over at times and she would perform emotional warfare on me.
They always tell you "You need me, you are nothing without me" or some variation of it. Trust me, they need you more than you need them.
i will tell them 'you need to see a mental doctor'
I was told the mothafucka that wants you is me no one wants your ass then that she is the only person that loves me nobody else don’t love you.🤷🏿♂️😵💫. Literal demons in them.
Projection. Pure projection. When they're pointing at you, they're really revealing themselves.
They hate answering questions but they LOVE asking questions.!!!! 😡 It's not because they CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!!!! 😡
The last day I saw the Narc in my life was pitiful. He tried to put me down in the worst way
pointing out faults that I certainly did not have. so I challenged him and asked him who
was he referring to. As I looked at him I saw a pitiful demon standing in front of me.
He even tried to tell me that he would miss me. I turned around and told him that was
a lie, that he would only miss the things that I use to do for him. That was the day I put
the trash out and will never ever look back. Thank God I'm finally free from this Demon.
Good job!
Right on: Sister woman !
❤❤❤
well done. narc only look at its victim as slaves, nothing more.
- Dear @paulettekins3115 - One thing came in for me / to me, very well!! Either let them talk / don't reply - or ask them? Proveit? Prove it, with legitimate, ubfabricated, untempered, / vcut proof?! Can't? Tough luck dahh l ing? pick on yourself or on your narcissistic pal?! Have a loser of a day! ( Since they are losers! ) -
It's sad most of these people are empty because demons take over. God have mercy on their souls.
In Jesus name
Amen.
If you have lived many years in the Far East and then come back to the USA, you see how rampant narcissism is here. In the Far East, one is admired for being humble.
This carousel narcissist ride needs to come to an end. Enough is enough ✝️🙏
If you’re reading this, just know that you’re not alone. The pain you’re enduring will only benefit you in the long run. TRUST & FAITH. It is truly, a blessing in disguise. KEEP GOING. Have no fear! Choose to heal! Fight the Good fight.💪🏼
Love & Light! 🤍✨
Namaste 🙏🏼
Thank you!
The statement about how when they re-appear and expect you to be happy and grateful to see them is spot on. Its ridiculous
Omg I know. I've been telling her to piss off for 5 years now and she still acts like everything is great, then breaks up with me, and I'm like we broke up eight years ago remember! Totally whack behavior
It took me fifteen years to see the pattern and covert narcissism and then I came across the following quote; "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.". The penny dropped all of a sudden ........and I walked away. I became free.
Perfect statement "the point is that you escape, that you get your life back, you get your self-worth back". Yes, because they will not change, it gets worse every time you let them back in the door. Protect your heart, you are worth being truly loved. Until that day, love yourself and work on self-care!
My ex Narc did just that, basically left me in pieces, it took years to recover, after a bad burnout,it's just pure evil, did anyone else go through this?
They want complete allegiance
They don't want you seeing past the game
You seeing the truth is a threat to their control
You seeing the truth is a threat to their domination
i wish i knew these facts earlier, now im going through the last phase where i get the complete silent treatment and she has multiple new supplies and had two or three already while with me( found out in the end, was too many white lies and things just not adding up) and everytime i was crippled because of her induced anxiety and starvation of love after sex bombing. i couldnt get out of my bed, and she just stood there and called it a sick game to play. i didnt play. i was so mentally stressed and starved of love i couldnt move out of my bed. i just wanted to be left alone.
I have been calling him out left and right,I ain't afraid of him and he will lose me, he can never completely destroy me,I am light,love, energy and magnetic
I'm married to a narc for 37 years, I try to stay as Separated, as much as possible while staying in the same house.
They didn't make me, they can't break me. Walk away, block and live. Don't look back.
One thing I know I’ll never be destroyed. As long as I continue to stay prayed up and watch your videos along with other videos I’ll stay knowledgeable. Move in silence and continue to work on your exit strategy if you can’t leave right away. Remember everyone you are worthy of having a healthy/wonderful relationship. I’m praying for everyone that’s going through this ♥️. Thank you so much Anoushka!
Well done you. NEVER let them beat you. I secretly voice recorded the ex narc for 5 months before I got out, it was so bad that i took 100 recordings to the police and I told neighbours for my own safety. He’s now on the police database and all recordings have been uploaded to their system, if he does it again and a woman reports him, he’s toast.
One bit of advice, don’t give them cash for utilities or your share of things, make it bank transfers and write down what it’s all for. He was telling people I never paid for anything,but his bank statements and mine prove differently. Try to be one or more steps ahead of them, but don’t let them know.
The women shelters have resources to help you and advocates to help you leave safely. Nothing is worth your life or families safety.
Amen, exactly what I say and believe im helped by the Lord because 'it's not I that liveth but" Gal 2:20. Bless you.
Excellent share ~
You can never be too careful, its an experience you never want to repeat.
Your word against theirs, the truth versus lies. Protect yourself in every way possible to prevent being swindled, taken advantage of, discredited and railroaded. Its the toughest fight of your life. Its war
Amen and amen HalleluYah 🙏🌹
My Narcissist started a new before the end and it devastated me and she knew it
Heartless
Me too mate. I walked away on the 10th of Jan and she had deleted everything of us from her facebook in 24 hours and had a new boyfriend in just 7 days
@@MegaRockstar48Sorry to say, but she in all likelyhood had her new boyfriend much longer than 7 days!
if you pay attention; you would know exactly what they are, because they give themselves away at the very beginning. Excessive compliments, full attention, the way they leave conversations etc. You knew right away that something was off, but you ignored your gut. Well keep venting, it's therapeutic.
3 years free. I was fighting lymphoma during my journey. The toxic stress literally nearly killed me . After a decade , I got desensitised to the cruelty and in line with what you’re saying, they ramp up the cruelty, to make it count because you become conditioned to the blows. My monster was looking for a submissive confident, what he got, was me. If this story is you, you have to leave. It will never get better, only worse to levels of depravity that you are too embarrassed to tell anyone. Love your channel chikka x
Prayers for you to stay healthy. Glad your life is in a better place
So true
@@lazycatdayz4ever905 my faith literally saved me. God bless 🙏🏻
A narcissists last trick is it getting no response when it tries to contact you
Accepting this one thing has helped me tremendously well. There is an old parable with a frog and a scorpion. There was this large river the scorpion needed to get across. The scorpion can’t swim. The scorpion saw a frog swimming in and out of the river with ease. The scorpion went up to the frog and asked if they could carry them onto the frogs back over to the other side. The frog said your going to sting me and kill me. The scorpion explained that it was ridiculous to think they would sting and kill the frog while going across the river, because the scorpion would also drown and die. The frog was convinced and agreed to take the scorpion over to the other side. Half way across the river the scorpion stung the frog and injected its deadly poison into it. The frog said, “why did you do that, you have doomed us both”. The scorpion replied, “I am a scorpion, it’s in my nature to sting and kill you regardless of consequences.” The narcissist is the scorpion, it’s not personal that they destroy you and crush your soul. It’s just who they are regardless of their victims.
Wow!!! Good Story🤌.. sad ending though 😅
@@marissahumblytherealistone8950 Thanks. It was a profoundly interesting story I heard decades ago, but never really understood the meaning. Now I do.
@@ConveyApp AMEN🙏🏼 Thank you!!! And God bless you 💌
This was his favourite story. It is only now I understand he was telling on himself. Thankyou 💛
Perfect analogy!
I only disagree with one thing said; that it is instinctual and not personal.
It most certainly is personal.
Your destruction is their power gain, they go into it having consciously chosen you. They saw in you the very thing they wanted; be it your success, your compassion, your intelligence, your overall personage. They saw it in you and began their pursuit.
That is very very personal.
All the while they are actively damaging and destroying you, they know exactly what they are doing, and they enjoy every step.
Your pain is their gain and that makes them happy. Your destruction is their success, and that makes them happy.
They will never forget you, especially if they did some deep damage because that's a win for them. They will never forget you if you were the one to walk, you did the thing they hate because they weren't done ruining you yet, and they will forever wonder if they can resume their goal to take you all the way to the bottom. That is very personal.
Every single thing they do to you is personal.
It is you that takes that element away from them. You, the victim, are the one to keep it from being personal. The desire to survive and thrive is what's not personal, it's merely the will to live.
You are the strong one.
The narcissist never runs off to greener pastures! That's what they would like you to think. Hey I thought that too when I was trauma bonded. It's all an illusion they just went on to new supply! A narcissist is a very codependent individual they need a body at all times they will even settle for a pet they just need supply! That's their lifeline. I educate myself daily on these videos on these predators been doing so for over a year now and still learning. I will continue to keep my foot on the neck of those serpent's until I feel I'm done! The world has no place for these kind of people! It's time to take a stand and limit this destruction caused by these individuals called the narcissist! Love always wins! And the narcissist always lose. 👎🏾
Exactly, they just go to another petrol/gas station to top up the permanently empty tank in desperation for the next source. Their spitting, venomous, diabolic rages are demonic confessions in an attempt to get that intolerable cesspit out of them. It's all about what they think, what they are and what they do - it was never about us! What a mental merry go round, hellish hamster wheel existence, forever scampering around for the same result. We can always hop off to explore a good life again; and just leave them to keep circling.
my narcissist ex had guineau pigs. they died in the heat when she forgot about them
@@geteven3107 Very sad and the guinea pigs story is quite a philosophical analogy.
The one narcissist I knew mistreated his pet. I felt horrible for him. He'd kick him. And he didn't have a good personality. A Doberman. A dog that shouldn't have acted like that. He acted like his dog was just a supply he could kick to the side because he was old. That's what you'll feel like too when ur old if u stay... Get out now.
Bang on! Keep your foot on the serpents neck for sure.
It’s hard for someone who has feelings to understand the narcissist. Remember, they are robots and always act in what they believe is their own interest.😂
That's a sociopath.
Narcissists are fundamentally broken people who want to drag you down to their level.
To all the gentle souls who have endured the toxic abuse of a narcissist know this one thing, other people recognize them, they can see the abuse you have endured, even if you never said a word. It will follow them all the days of their lives, long after you have moved on, they will continue the abuse with someone new. It has taken me so long to see the end results of my narcissists abuse. The new person who believes they are what the narc needs and you were never good enough or smart enough, or whatever enough, just rest in the peace that new person will eventually become what you broke from. You are free to blossem in your own space.
Many blessings
Thank you Anoushka, this is a great video, you're wisdom is off the charts.
“They have to feel better than you”. When your discarded it’s ok, breathe, educate yourself. They don’t love, you do. Let it go and take a step forward to self healing. ✊🏽
The ex narc would tell me I had an ugly personality. He was telling me he was deciding wether to stay in the relationship. After 12 yrs. I left. I made the decision for myself. Best thing I ever did. His actions in the so called relationship when the mask finally slipped was ugly.
Gloria I have a feeling you have a lovely personality. Glad you are free. 🤗
Trauma bond is the hardest
Well my Father took me away from that drama In Jesus Holy and Mighty Name Amen Amen Amen 🙏🙏🙏
Indeed this is true. It can take years to recover from. But once you do you can see them for who they really are.
Thanks Anoushka, thats what the narc is looking to do to me right now, but I got away! I know she's very angry at me, but we're done, bcuz I called it off when she least expected it!..I've learnt so much from all of you that shared so much info about narcissism, and with God's help I was delivered!!
Indeed
@Rebecca Dean oh yes, thanks! These experiences affect our future decisions a great deal also.!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, this form of mental and emotional abuse is so dangerous, they need to be reported somehow. Funny how there's a credit rating, a criminal record yet these people can sail in and out of relationships praying on people with hearts. I'm never gona be the same person that I was before my entanglement with a covert narcissist. And years later I still have memories hitting me out of nowhere of the hurtful moments. But I'm doing alright. The rebuild takes along time.
I’m still seven years out and I still struggle. It’s hard because I had two kids with her, so escape wasn’t an option. I’m so much better now, and I just use the gray rock method now.
@mobileradiofitter
.. you are correct 💯 you'll never be the same,,,, you'll be better and different and smarter, so I think it's a good thing in the end that you'll never be the same. Would you want to?
@@teressamckinnie6878 I think it's just all the gas lighting that took its toll, it was everything from certain shops , brands, food, beliefs, that's the bit that plays on my mind which was never there before. I'm my ideal BMI, calm and understanding and generally at peace which is what she attacked on an often basis. So I'd say I was a better person before and my current journey is getting back to that. There's one thing I have learned which is never to let myself be consumed by someone else's problems
Update, she phoned me yesterday, we had a chat and I explained she can't treat people like she's treated me, and how upset she left me for refusing to play her games and carry on being treated like an emotional punch bag. I said it's the opposite of care or compensation. She then sent me a photo of a rose plant I gave her a year ago and said she does care because she still waters it. The first thing that came to mind was a plant is more important than me. I said i was busy and ended the call
I agree the cruelty is incomprehensible
Yes they shift to nice only while you are running in circles for them as soon as you are done they are pure evil.
They escape somehow from reality and their cruelty is power
Your are so very correct! They will use ANYONE AND DO ANYTHING'S AND destroy ANYBODY at the end
Every day I live in pain because of this attitude. My friends support her narrative without question
I wish people knew who he was in reality 😢
They will. More and more as he gets older. He'll exhaust all his circle of friends.
They hide themselves from others u have to expose them.
😱😱😱 they are so sick !!! And there are so dare many of them willing to join in on horrible sick behavior
🖤🕳
I’m so grateful that my husband of 32 years, had to ditch his sugar baby and come back for me to take care of him in hospice for tha last 4 months of his life. I took care of tha gold digger (totally happy being a dirty little secret), deleted everything about her. I got some closure and as much as he tried to destroy me, he needed me, and now he’s gone and my life is peaceful. It’s sad that he passed away but the reality is that if he were still alive, my torture would be ongoing. I won
2 years. 3 really. Blocked. Ghosted. Gone. He doesn’t come back.
She come back and I'm in relationship with her after 3 years ghosted but she is 15..bt I have doubt because she changed fully talking to very much bt I noticed one thing she not apritiate me ...any way
Today is St Valentines Day. I am sick, I am sad and I am exhausted. Every day, I wake up and literally claw myself to the surface to make a life to stop feeling so sad. I left him and don’t ever want him back but I feel I will never be lovable or worthy of love. I guess this is how I will live the rest of my life. Alone, sad and without love. Just have to accept that.
I understand...you will be loved by someone on a much higher level...you're worthy ❤
If you are living there is still hope. The lies your were told were lies. Love yourself, you are worth it! Be the best friend to your friend in the mirror. She so deserves it!❤
@@3RedHearts thank you 💕
@@leonab545 you are so kind. Thank you.
@@3RedHearts you also my friend. 😊
This is absolutely SPOT ON! Mine tried to destroy me before she left. I watched her rage in complete amusement. This was amusing to me because I had lived through the very painful experience of watching my mom pass away from cancer which instilled immense inner strength. It's crazy how an experience like that can make a person stronger later in life. That said, I implemented strict no contact & I'm loving every second of the peace of mind that it has bought. I think she's still mad @ me for not breaking and/or begging her🤭😂
I totally understand what you are saying. I lost my sister to breast cancer at 58. Diagnosed and gone in 2 weeks. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I have ever done. When I ended it with malignant narc after 10 years together, I drew on the strength I knew I had after losing my sister. The narc is so insignificant. Broke trauma bond. Healing every day. I believe our loved ones would be super proud. Wishing you the best! 🤗
@@lazycatdayz4ever905 First of all, please accept my condolences for your loss. You're right our loved ones who've passed will be proud of us for having the strength to walk away. Taking the healing the process one day a time is the best way to handle it. You got this!
The way her wording is indisputably the best explanation of this cycle is absolutely perfection
I just treated a narcissist, for demanding from me,help. I refused to, ( it was really very hard to me. ) Iturned the table on her, andnot cusrsingly, but continuously kept telling her N O - N O - NO! I left it at that. But I felt very bad, yet I knew, I was / am the victom. + Thank you A noushka, this tape, actually came on time, believe it, or not!
That’s scary , I’m glad you told me all this , so I can prepare for anything like this . Evil is actually here . And I’m a victim .
They surely do want to hurt you so bad you end yourself. Very sickening indeed. These types of people never truly get to trust and feel anything real. They are the ones who lose in life no matter how they seem. Do not be fooled by these evil ones. Lean on the Lord! And Stay strong!God bless your healing.
In the beginning I was devastated when his mask fell off, however then I studied him until I moved out. He tried to crush me, but getting wiser to him, he ended up crushing himself into the ground. For the last few months I had been voice recording him which he didn’t know about until after I left. I needed to know I wasn’t going crazy and that this was real and documented in case I needed it. He got so verbally vicious that I ended up going to the Police and lodged a complaint about him. Much as this was all very upsetting and at times scary, I stood up to him and let him away with nothing, he couldn’t wait to get rid of me. Not long before I moved out he was barging into my bedroom day and night without knocking and just mouthing off, after the 8th time in one day I just told him exactly what I thought of him, and that a friend of mine laughed and said ‘he thinks he’s gods gift to women, THAT THING’ and that shut him up, he went squirming out of the room and stayed away for days.
The fact that I exposed him to not only neighbours because he was getting a bit frightening, but also to the Police, will have shattered him. He was told by the Police to stay away from me and that’s when he found out he had been voice recorded. They uploaded 100 of them onto their database. So, if he is ever reported by a woman again, he’s in very serious trouble.
If you can, record them. I used my iPad then put it all onto my laptop then an external hard drive so that I would have back ups.
Also, NEVER give them cash, always do bank transfers, it leaves a paper trail. He would tell people I wasn’t paying for utilities etc, but I have all the bank statements showing I had paid everything and then some.
Once you know what they are up to, you have to prepare for what is coming, don’t be taken off guard, get 10 steps ahead of them.
Wish I'd thought of that
@@dodibenabba525 had he not secretly recorded me on his mobile phone after he annoyed me so much, then replayed it while he stood laughing, I would never have thought to record him. He wasn’t as smart as he thought, in his rage fits he would be so irate, he would tell me what he would do in the future. He said that he would take me to court for defamation of character and had 2 ex girlfriends and another woman friend all lined up to give him character references, saying he would win and want £25,000 compensation. This was to scare me off from saying anything else.
Everything I said about him was true and I recorded it all so there was no way he could deny it. Plus the Police also having the recordings, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Everything backfired on him, we bought a house together, 3 months later after he threatened me, he decided to sell the house, I agreed. He desperately tried to talk me round and I refused, that’s when he upped the verbal abuse. In the end he cancelled the sale and bought me out. So he got the house but then had to get a mortgage and sell all his shares to pay me back. I heard him say to his accountant that he would have to take the penalty for not being able to pay his tax bill on time. They all get caught in the end, if it hadn’t been me, eventually it would have been someone else. 👍
@helen hart I'm currently going through a divorce from a covert malignant narcissist, 33 years. I really don't know how I'm still alive. Heavenly Father surely keeps me safe. If I wrote my life story no-one would believe me. Really pleased for you. 😊❤️👆🙌
@@dodibenabba525 I’m so sorry you are going through all this. You will get through it, never let them beat you down. I’m the same as you, I could write a book but they would put it in the fiction section as it’s all unbelievable. However, most peoples stories are exactly the same, there has to be a secret website these narcs look at to swap ideas. I now look upon him as a gift, I knew evil existed, but he brought it up close and personal. When the devil can’t get near you, he sends a narc. Look him straight in the eye and don’t blink. See you on the other side. 👍👍👍
I am wondering wether Racamier has been translated into English.very accurate content.
The most important people in my life were narcissists. I only realized this a few years ago and now am recovering.
A few of this narcs got hit by karma bus. It just takes a while.
Good to know
Don’t put yourself in a position to be destroyed be a narcissistic person. As soon as you see traits of a unstable person get out. Run 🏃🏾♀️ don’t worry about being hovered, don’t worry about who they’re now with. Just get out. It’s not worth it. You want to be with people who are healthy. Don’t let those demons drain you
Yes so true
They could leave without discarding us. They Just could go.
She gave me joy and happiness, a big ego boost, and built a beautiful relationship on her way in. I became aware something was wrong and documented myself. Now it's devaluation time, but it's not working because I knew it was coming. It's insane how they can turn around and threaten to take away what they have with you just because they don't like something u did or someone you hang out with. Mind you I have never even met them in person.
Sorry bro. This sounds pretty nuts. Are you sure you are not the narcissist? How can someone build a beautiful relationship with you if you never met them in person?
God works in mysterious ways. This video helped me break the mirror. Thank you so much. You just saved me.
At the end he told me, no one can hurt you anymore... Yes I looked damage but after 16 months far away from him, I am better than ever. It wouldn't be this way if God wouldn't had came to rescue me.
Thank you so much ❤❤. Whenever I watch your videos, I am getting stronger and learning more from you 🙏
Once they felt like you have completely dismantled they leave and build a life for them
value, devalue, discard.
Your 100% right. Thank you for validating how I think things really were. Once you discover it's a one-way street, you realize ( love is blind ) is only hurting you and you alone.
My beloved pet passing away actually gave me the strength in my grief to finally discard the Narcissist.
He didn't see it coming.
I'm out mixing again and more contented in myself. Less anxiety and much more time for me.
I reckon your pet would be proud of you and happy that you knew the difference between their real love and the counterfeit
Scary to think this video has basically shown all the points of the last 2 and a half year of my life with a narcissist, always the victim never there fault…….Onwards and upwards now time to get my life back 🎉
These videos are incredible along with Dr Ramani. 8 weeks in from a very painful discard. Im in no contact. I haven't been hoovered as yet and not sure if I will because I called them out. Be strong and enjoy your freedom Paul. We get hooked because we are good, genuine and loving empaths.
I feel like you know my situation, this is exactly what my adult son has done to me , and in his childhood, his father and grandparents abandoned him , now he has them in his life and he has done to me what you have just described, thank you 😊
My daughter has done the same thing to me because her dad abandoned her. I'm sorry you are going through it too.
Absolutely they destroy you at the end. While living in the house for a few months together (until our property division was settled), at the end he said the most cruel, hurtful things to me. Things I never dreamed he'd ever say. We were married 25 years and he discarded me for NS. But, all throughout that marriage there were red flags I shouldn't have ignored.
Me too 😢
But you didn’t know what you didn’t know
You have this down to a science! Keep up the good gestures especially your hand movement
I noticed her powerful hand movements also. Powerful statements.
Hit every mark Anoushka , all happened to me everything you've said my ex is super covert narc
Exactly I stood up to him when he was gaslighting me. He made me feel like I'm crazy holding him accountable to his lies and manipulation. He just ghosted me left me unread and posted another woman on social madia. I'm still healing from this betrayal and moving on
My brother did this to me - When I stopped playing his game, he wished me"a good death" and has fortunately not interacted again. I feel sad because he is my brother but relieved that the gaslighting is now over. The attempts at destroying me through control is now over.
Before they get to the point of totally destroying you say good bye and stay far away as possible.
Everything you have said is absolutely true he was exactly what you was explaining to me he was extremely dangerous
Right before he moved out he did all kinds of damage...unplugged the sump pump, destroyed my property in the basement, disconnected brake lights on my van, removed parts on faucets...and he made threats, " now I will have to destroy your life ". They never stop. I remarried and he called my husband last year. He hung up on him. We moved far away thank God.
Thank you for this explanation - makes the destructive behaviour of my brother towards me make so much sense. For years I have struggled to work out "Why' - the gaslighting and false blame and vicious attempts at control never made sense. Now they do- fortunately he has discarded me- I fear for his next victim - I fear for my brother's warped mind.
Just be ready when this time comes because a narcissist will destroy you only if you allow it……remember one thing, you know exactly how this person is and how they behave and you have a lot to defend yourself with…..at the end maybe you just might have to destroy them before they destroy you. ✊
last stages include quarreling,avoidance and last disrespecting.
She texted me 2 days ago i blocked her and yesterday on valentines day she messaged i blocked her again staying away from her . Already taken alot of mental tortures 😖
Blockity… block….BLOCK!!!!
AMEN THANK YOU LORD JESUS❤
Mine spent a year “let me clear my head”. Nothing about me was worth fighting for. I just kept sobbing “I would have never done this to you! I proved that. I stayed when you cheated. I adopted our dog w you which you now say I use to keep you. You have no idea how much I loved you!”
Sounds like she has an appointment with KARMA!!!
I see and hear a lot of hurt Anoushka in your voice. It’s still raw, for you and many of us. I get it! We will get there. Value yourself first . Love yourself so you are ready to love again. We will get there because we have a heart 💟
When I called him out he made me feel like complete trash! Turned it around on me then ignored me for two days as punishment smh. Like I did something wrong for questioning him. Im so tired of all of it and just want my peace back
I survived! And it was a nightmare! With two sons. I ended up with custody physical and legal! Thanks for all the information you’ve given, it has been a game changer, and a life giving help thanks 👍
Thank you Anoushka!
I know I have to stay strong, it’s hard but that is the reality x
Wow i cannot believe the things you were saying about the narc, i have lived with one for 40 odd years and he says all those things you mentioned he told me the other day to crawl back into the gutter where he dragged me from he is toxic i am used to him now and just shrug it off.I have my 2 grown up children that support me and they actually turned out lovely human beings which is amazing being bought up around him.
Once they know that you have information on their true self they realize that they are not going to get anything from you anymore when I found out the truth I felt a huge decompression and relief just to know the truth I was free the spell was broken
I will never fully mend. I think you understand this Anoushka
@@sian8260 see you there for sure! 👍
My husband of almost 30 yrs poisoned me right before we split up. He had done this before but I couldn’t prove it and he had the children and friends believe him that I was crazy.I am a survivor and I don’t know if I will ever have another relationship again. He had a child with another woman , so many other women but he was so sneaky I could never prove it. Withholding sex was his thing from the very beginning. He was a vey charming successful man. So glad we are no longer together.
Smiling and enjoying others suffering - they enjoy it. Surrender or Stop word - nothing works, it actually makes it worse. You can't throw white flag, you can't say you want a break...
They find the perfect time to abuse, when yoy are vulnerable or when you have other commitments like meetings or work. The more yoy say that you have to go and the more the meeting is important, the more narcs will use this situation...
Or, during a long drive, when there is no choice to get out.. A true story: one time myself and my partner had an argument in the car and i said that i don't want to talk anymore i need to concentrate on the road... I dtopped talking and she started raging... She ended up pulling a steering wheel (i was driving) to tge side, so we almost crashed.. On motorway... 120km/hr...
It doesn't take anything for narcs to start a fight, they don't value classical values like compassion, empathy, support, having interest in partners life. Well they do have interest in partners lufe but only to go through their phone/email/listening to rumours etc..
Its all about taking responsibility something the narcissist can't do. You have to understand that your happiness depends on you and no one else. By that same standard you are not responsible for anyone's happiness but the narcissist will make you feel like you are and the trick is removing yourself from a burden that was never yours to carry. Find peace with God and encourage them to do the same thats the best thing you can do.
I’m always cautious now which is good. I give people a chance but I take my sweet time to see.
I was burned by a couple of them in my life. They are horrible, evil people.
They want you to buy into the fantasy
They want to keep you on the hook forever
I’m a professional mechanic ,, I can rebuild anything as long as I have parts ,, I built myself before her ,, now I have upgraded parts on order ,, and this will be a now brained .. what was her name ????
Anoushka you are absolutely spot on and just love the way you present it ❤
You can feel broken 3 to 4 years after they leave you, even if you don't communicate with them. Once they had control and they broke you and then went out to destroy you in your community, set up their friends up against you. They move onto a new relationship and new friends and even going into hiding gor 4 years and then can still stabb you in the back when they get everything yhey wanted out of you.
They do in fact, destroy you and sub consciously keep their mental hold on you even when you haven't had anything to do with them for 4 years. They make other people think you are the worse person on the earth
I've been calling out my Narc wife of 18 years for the past couple of years. Holding her accountable makes her furious and the rage is always turned around to make me the bad guy. She told all her friends that I'm crazy, a stalker, I'm Jekyll and Hyde... Then we separated. Then it was all about having her freedom to do what she wanted, moving on to a new source, except would contradict her behavior with words, or contradict her words with behavior, always keeping me guessing, never being honest, never revealing the truth, I had to go to extremes to learn the truth of what she was doing. It's been painful and really hard. I'm healing and just understanding it all has helped immensely. I'm not taking it so personally now.
after 15 yrs with a narc! from love bombing to discard.went to court battle(i won) triangulation,cheating,smear campaigning on social media, parental alienation,quarreled with my family and her family because of her manipulation. i can say is she's still not finish with me,she continuosly doing all of this evil works.may god help me!!!
hope u will come out of the satan fist soon. i no-contact with my malignant narc mom for years now, since then she did the same to me, smear campaign, triangulation, non-stop lies and recruited tons of flying monkeys to speak on her behalf. now i have years of peace. unfortunately for her, i'm not really concern how stupid relatives/friends think of my image.
Such an awakening for me! I am learning self-love for the first time in my life. Always gave everything…. Told I was such a bad person and truly began believing it! Almost lost my successful career…. BUT NO MORE!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I am now in the KNOWING!!!! I see it like no joke!!!!
Thank you very much for your content. My Ex gf tried the exact same thing with me. She knew she had no control over me, so she just ghosted me the day before we wanted to meet to clear things up. But this was just another lie, inorder to destroy me. It‘s crazy how pathetic people can be.
You've put this beautifully. I have literally watched several hundred videos over the years on the subject but you really did have something new to add, your perspective, that really rephrased things in a way I never properly put together before. Objectively, we know they do this. The narrative you gave on this subject is so insightful. Thanks!