I understand. My wife was the most precious thing in my life. She clearly has no intention to reform her life, but still finds way to contact me, even though she is blocked on everything. She thinks she is riding the big wave; in reality she is ruining her life. There's nothing I can do but pray for her.
I once heard an expression, "A warrior makes a decision, then follows it". Giving that energy and care to one you know is not good for you leaves you with less for your forward steps. I tell you as I tell myself now-
They don't match your energy level and after a while you get sick of it. You don't feel like they are important anymore , you loose feelings for them. He doesn't trigger me anymore, nice feeling no pain anymore, I feel happier. I have a health problem i don't need his crap.
This is how i felt after getting discarded a second time. I was absolutely gutted the first time, I even took like 2 days off of work and didnt leave the house the entire time, didnt eat for like a week, cried multiple times a day, for probably 2 weeks after. Once I got that out, I went completely numb for like a week and then finally, started working on myself to make sure that i was "the one that got away" rather than her. Spent lots of time in therapy, journaling, reading, and when i wasnt doing those things, i was running or lifting weights. Dropped 40lbs and got into Brad Pitt fight club shape, absolutely shredded. 3 months NC and we cross paths, I ignore her and she reaches out to me asking if we can meet up and talk. We ended up talking on the phone for almost 3 hours and she starts to toss around the idea of trying things out again (of course lol). We hang out for a month, shes spending nights at my house and coming over 3-4 nights a week, telling all her friends and family that were back together, etc. Then, just over a month after "reconnecting," she spends a weekend at my place, wakes up on a sunday morning and says all the right things about how shes "never felt the feelings with anyone else, that she feels with me," that she would be "sick to her stomach" seeing me with another woman, telling me how considerate and respectful of a person i am and how she always feels so safe and "seen" around me. Then she leaves, disappears for 48 hours and when i finally reach out to her, she replies back with "I dont think we should see each other anymore. I'm just too busy with work to entertain dating/romance and I'm not emotionally available at all." I didn't even hesitate and after a few super gas-lighty, passive aggressive texts from her, knocking my career choice and choice to buy a house and how she's "sorry" that I'm "stuck in the midwest," that "if you work hard, maybe one day you can have the freedom to move all around the country and be an entrepreneur like me," etc, I just blocked her and never looked back. It was honestly much easier this time than the first time, as i believed her that it wasn't an easy decision and believed her that she cried for weeks after dumping me, etc (which is SUCH narc behavior to make themselves the victim for dumping you lol). This time, she was just a cold hearted monster and made me resent her.
Yep .. I was punished for not conforming. It's insidious . They unravel eventually. They are like petulant and haughty children. Veruca Salt.. Thankyou for your channel and profound insights..❤
This comment….. oh my god I literally use to have her name on my phone followed by Veruca as I said from day one your like veruca salt! I knew from day one 😫
Thank you, I so needed to hear this today. Its been 2 years since he ghosted me after a 12 year situationship. As much as I wanted to chase him again as I had done so many times in the past, I found the strength to resist the urge. Even though I don't think there has been a day go by that I haven't thought about him. Yesterday I came across some old holiday photos which brought back memories of the happy times we had together and there were lots. last night I dreamt about us being back together. I hear what you say about giving my energy away, I always try to busy myself to escape these thoughts but he's always there in the background. . I know it was a toxic relationship and in reality I wouldn't ever want to go there again, so thank you again for this video which has helped me to get back on track.
I think our minds get in habits of thinking about people we care about even if they are not good for us. Maybe you can find something else to pour your attention into. As soon as you completely forget him, he will contact you. It is funny how the energy works like that. As soon as you forget them they feel it and want you back. NEVER go back!
I understand. It was 19 yrs for me. I am told to delete the photos, but I won’t do this unless or until I want to. I may never want to as they are a record of my life too. However, I do not look at the photos ever bc I know they will provoke feelings that are based on a distorted reality. When I am able, I plan on putting them all in a file, so they are available for me to look at, if/when there is a time that there is a benefit to me to look at them. I have been keeping myself busy doing things whenever I can so to put new life into my mind. I pray that opportunities come for you to do the same as it has helped me move into acceptance towards fully letting go. May God. Comfort you and bring you peace and joy 🙏🏼
You remember and loved those good times!! But the bad times out number the good times is what I think about. I don't want to go thru more hurt again bc it will come back and torture you again if accept them back! The pain hurts so much you cry and keep crying and we can't keep going thru that!!!
I understand you completely, but they seem to block it out after 10 years together 3 1/2 year-old little boy she only thinks of the bad playing the victim because I wasn’t getting on with her the last couple years and said I wanted to end it and she kept pulling me back with sex and whatever else and trying to get me to have another kid with her and I was drunk she started a fight got me arrested got a restraining order took my kid took my house out in two weeks from my house in three months. She moved in with a guy in my kid loads of false promises of her talking to my mother saying that she wanted to try and sort things out and me that be there and be able to talk to each other and no, she is just playing the victim and everything that I did for her for 10 years nothing was good enough and she only thinks of the last couple of bad times so we had none of the nice memories of creating a child together and going away and buy everything that she wanted and getting her anything that she wanted or if she needed just take the money and now she left me with no money rob stuff from my house took my kid and moved onto somebody else
I gave my one about 4 narcissistic injurys and narcissistic collapse I done a true professional job i almost enjoyed it 🤣. She won't be coming back for a hoover
I've listened to Three of your You Tube videos and it's as though you were telling my story year by year. It ended 12 years ago but I couldn't figure out any explanation for her behavior. This nails all the competition, gaslighting, cynical putdowns and final attempt to cause financial harm. I am grateful to have escaped with my power back and feel very sorry for her new husband. Damn, that was a rough 10 years. I'm very happily married now to a great woman who loves me.
10 mins in is so true!!! I did take on a victim stance for something I had already chosen. It was my choice. I chose to be different, knowing where it would lead to making him mad. Knowing he wd punish me which it did but only long enough for me to accept and grief the truth. I didn't have to do anything, really, but be me & et him be him. It was all a facade.
For me in the end was it simple. Only giving energy and received only negative energy back. So wish here luck and kept my energy for my own. That is feeling wonderful and found out that I am not missing here. 😊
Three years I was ghosted. Then out of the blue he contacts me. He got divorced . All it was that he wanted was to tell me sorry, and listen all about his divorce. The a bunch of bubble gum bullshit. Plus calls on a private number. Then that's all he has to say. Then right back to the slient treatment. Says he doesn't think he's narcissistic. Come on . Has anyone experienced this????
My wife is a classic. She will admit all the symptoms. Even says she is going to get an apartment and live alone. She knows who she is, but can't seem to break out of it.
These videos are really eye opening and I’m thinking about some past relationships in which I was with a narcissist and didn’t have a clue……I’m of the opinion that at least 50% percent of people today both men and women can be classified as narcissists…..And that number is growing…..☹️
Anoushka, The way you speak, express yourself, and share your professional experiences is truly magnificent. Your advice has been invaluable to me, helping me prepare for my wife next moves. When you speak, all your words emanate from your heart, filled with love and the intention to assist others. It is truly delightful to witness such an enchanting individual like yourself, who is also an incredibly skilled psychologist.
THANK YOU Anushka, I recked my brain to find real solutions for how I feel, something to soothe the emotions and feeling. I’ve been so blinded that I didn’t think of this, but you are absolutely right! So THANK YOU so, so much! I think you’ve nailed it.🙏🏼👌🏼
You also have to think ab wanting to be living in your head and constantly thinking ab how things could be instead of reality. When you realize how much you've already done to make things work, you'll see that there's NOTHING you can do to make things work with them. Taking them back only shows them that you will continue to do so no matter what they put you through.
Thanks so much for your perspective and help! This talk helped me understand that she was chasing me for a 'payoff', and when that finally ended with my exhaustion and being 'difficult', she started punishing. I see now that I was heading in the right direction. Now, the idea of channeling that better energy for healing makes such good sense, and your explanation of the dynamic fits perfectly. I have new and better goals now!
I've chased mine for 27 years. Figured out a month ago what a narc is and now she's refusing to give me a divorce I've been threatened with the whole time. Trust is everything and its broken.
Damn dude, sorry to hear. I half got married to my narc ex in a little backyard ceremony two years ago but luckily for me, she played a bad hand and started to devalue me just before we were going to sign the legal paperwork to make it official. I said the hell with this, I'm outta here. I thank my lucky stars everyday for dodging that bullet. Best of luck, it'll all work out
I'm so sorry. My situation is different. Mine is an in-law, and I have sought her approval for years. Just last December, I realized what I was dealing with this whole time, and I am trying to disentangle myself. They devalued and discarded me(smear campaign and all) for the last time this past March. They are now trying to love bomb me, and I am trying to deflect it. At this moment, no contact is not an option as my husband has taken the responsibility of taking care of her on himself. I am through with all of this nonsense!
I just tell guys it’s in my natal chart to arrive better than ever after a break up with a karmic or toxic person. It’s just what happens. Make ‘em nervous before they even TRY to devalue you lol.
Mine came back several times. But it was only for her to try and hurt me more. The worst was after my brother died. I was already in shambles. These people are evil.
Excellent video. Mine has stopped contacting me for the last 2 weeks. She is getting her attention off likes on fb from men who think she is perfect. I have said she is a narcissist and she denied it but she knows I know and have seen her mask slip
I agree with this guidance (yikes that makes me sound a bit entitled) just mean that I’ve experienced it. As my narc spouse saw me research and push back against my narc family, I think he realized the tactics wouldn’t work. Thus, he has either been much more subtle / subdued about his attempts or just not trying to begin with. He knows it’s fruitless. I’d love to say I did this on purpose or out of genius but it’s just how the chips fell, but aside from any smearing I’m not aware of, it has made it easier to get away. Show them you understand. I am not a professional but one question I heard from the many on here that always works for me now (give it a go)- I’ll ask the narc or controller: what are you hoping to accomplish right now (when the tactics kick in) - it flusters them and deflates the attempt. Good luck all and let’s keep healing!
I was literally astounded at this perspective! I have tried and tried to relay my perspective to my therapist, but this was incredibly articulated down to every word and emotion. This was probably the most inspirational video I have ever watched! Thank you.
Just got restraining order and seeing him in court I got so upset I drank and sent I love you text now he sent one back I will ignore him married,9 yrs😅
I think my fiancé is a narcissist and I would really like to speak with you about her and find out for sure as she has just put me in the no contact zone right now and I would like to know if I need to walk away or try to fix our relationship, because I am deeply in love with her but I don’t want to have to deal with this kind of behavior for the rest of my life! Thank you very much! Brian Doyle
Narcissists are failed incarnations. The base soul mind/ personality interface was damaged or destroyed. This is extremely damaging to us and them. It's painful. There 8s literally nothing we can do but understand ourselves and leave them. We can heal. We can grow. I've seen narcissist mask collapse . They still couldn't learn. On to the next source just like a pretty vampire. But the narcissist was a child who was psychologically and spiritually murdered . Maybe God can help them. But that's definitely beyond our capabilities.
I can bring back my narcissist wife if I find she no longer make harm on me emotionally and mentally maybe when she is critically ill or if she is really accountable on she has done on me . confession is tha right thing she can do without any reservations then that's how it is,not for me on how she might to do or I might to do.
I am always scared while playing your videos as the music in the background keeps on playing even after you have started talking on the topic!would appreciate if the music stops playing immediately after you start talking after the intro!!
What is the narcissist? Men who triangulate, they way their parents did and their parents before them? Having a direct attempt to get close have to take what you said, take it through a third person and then out to you? That's not so bad is it? That's not playing the role Stormy Daniels. No way, that's way off the map. But instead of getting counseling to learn not all women suffer the limitations. of grandmother, and he never really learned how to communicate in the first place? No, my Mother said her and my father were friends. Dad was really her best friend. They could talk to each other, share opinions, rely on each other to be there when needed. And how many people are looking for that? I'm glad I came back from California. I didn't belong there.
One thing I do really need to do is move all the photos off my phone even some other family photos of me and her and the little boy playing together there was one last one of us all playing together on the bed with water balloons and stuff saw that and it made me cry for hours that was couple of months ago. My mum spoke to her said about some videos. She said send it and then she just got nasty said well look what he messed up. Look what it could’ve had and what he did was nasty nasty when you’ve been there through all the highs and lows never knew about the warning signs, of her getting a restraining order against her last boyfriend I think she just go from person to person doing the same thing as I’ve got a son with her
The real victim, the innocent one make the right choice to end it, unknowly to them. Make up a reason and leave and know you made a mistake. Tell them afterwards. After you leave, only if you come across them and after you leave, make up a reason, amd get a divorce if need be, they will never truly commit they cant never or disconnect. But you must cause it was never about you in the furst place, its about power and control thats it. U til they get help they can not heal. They only know how to run in their mind amd heart. Even if they say their saved and know the bible and dont want to hear about God or healing. They dont want to heal. Their trapped in their mind which disconnects from their colden heart, from that rejection of dad or mom or both. Its a entrapment from the pit of hell, the devil, it is demonic in nature too.
Getting revenge is empowering. For me it was the only way to get full closure. To stop the wanting what I can never have (the fake future.) I copied Ted Bundy and "became" everything she wanted. Matched her fantasy. Planned for months; bought clothes and a car I knew was ideal for her ideal guy. I waited for the hoover, preparing my moves and image/aura. When she came back, I was exactly who she had dreamed of all her life. Then, over tge next 4 months I slowly mortified her, but not just a simple exposure name calling kind of mortification, I walked her through each unmasking making her realize and expose her own every lie and every rotten thing she'd ever done. To the point she was babbling like her 8 year old brat self and re-enacting how she acted with her dad as a child. Then I ignored her until she left. She tried two more times to leave on the one up. The battles were fierce. By the time she left, the nask coukdnt go back on. She was just desperately trying to bring me down insult after insult shamelessly just boldly everything from how my dad was killed and she was glad about it to hoping my uncle loses all his money to attacking my childhood traumas.. It was so bizarre. She was tired and exhausted the wsy I usex to be. I destrpyed her. But that's not the revenge... The revenge is knowing that I created an image of who she always wanted that she can never have. The same thing she tried to do to me. I had warned her in the beginning that if she wanted yo play games that she would lose. She accepted the challenge telling me that "I always win." and I even told her... " and thats exactly why you will lose."
Shes fuel for me at this point. When she discards, I workout every day - hard. I eat well, I work on my finances and make money, I spend it with women when I have it and basically kick ass in life without her. When Im with my narc our days are nothing more than preparation for the night's sex and I don't do much else. She cant stay too long because she gets bored. And I cant do anything while she's around because she can't be left alone by herself or if she sees all my successes and how good my life is, how eady, happy, etc.. then she's going to get envious and start devaluing.
Това да бъдеш задоволен психически е много по сериозно от това да бъдеш задоволен физически сега приятелко разбираш ли какво иска първо трябва да се научат да я чукат психически и тогава ще бъде всичко нормално
I'm looking at one narcissist who is running right into a buzz saw. And ALL of his troubles are of his own making. Every last one Meet Donald Trump. And so it is with all of them, just not in such a public way. Narcissists run into serious trouble eventually. Their own narcissism puts them in harm's way in one manner or another. As psychological defenses go, it's actually a pretty stupid one.
My husband says he is a Christian and is on leader ship in the church. He eats the bible lol. Still no change. Wolf in sheep's clothing. They can't and won't change. I know after 36 years together.
… you spent a whole lot of time repeating yourself and saying nothing 🤯 … if anyone coming here really wants to resolve their issues with narcissistic relationships, then they should listen to professionals such as Dr. Ramani, or Lisa Romano, or the diagnosed narcissist Prof. Sam Vaknin … listening to you ramble on, milking the clock, will only perpetuate the trauma and frustration of narcissistic abuse …
I or many of us have heard those people too, but there is something down to earth here and 'non-clinical' sometimes is more relatable and real. I like her style.
@@janebraun4482 … I can see how some people could possibly relate to that, … have you ever listened to The Little Shaman? … she is very direct to the point, no nonsense or beating around the bush … a totally different style than the others …
He & his family are all blocked on everything, doing the work, but my heart is still breaking.
I understand. My wife was the most precious thing in my life. She clearly has no intention to reform her life, but still finds way to contact me, even though she is blocked on everything. She thinks she is riding the big wave; in reality she is ruining her life. There's nothing I can do but pray for her.
I once heard an expression, "A warrior makes a decision, then follows it". Giving that energy and care to one you know is not good for you leaves you with less for your forward steps. I tell you as I tell myself now-
@@ktkt1825 I’m following but damn it hurts. Thank you for your words of wisdom 🙏🏼
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown
You are NOT alone! They all seem to be carbon copies and they all have the same 'traits' and habits.
They don't match your energy level and after a while you get sick of it. You don't feel like they are important anymore , you loose feelings for them. He doesn't trigger me anymore, nice feeling no pain anymore, I feel happier. I have a health problem i don't need his crap.
This is how i felt after getting discarded a second time. I was absolutely gutted the first time, I even took like 2 days off of work and didnt leave the house the entire time, didnt eat for like a week, cried multiple times a day, for probably 2 weeks after. Once I got that out, I went completely numb for like a week and then finally, started working on myself to make sure that i was "the one that got away" rather than her. Spent lots of time in therapy, journaling, reading, and when i wasnt doing those things, i was running or lifting weights. Dropped 40lbs and got into Brad Pitt fight club shape, absolutely shredded.
3 months NC and we cross paths, I ignore her and she reaches out to me asking if we can meet up and talk. We ended up talking on the phone for almost 3 hours and she starts to toss around the idea of trying things out again (of course lol). We hang out for a month, shes spending nights at my house and coming over 3-4 nights a week, telling all her friends and family that were back together, etc. Then, just over a month after "reconnecting," she spends a weekend at my place, wakes up on a sunday morning and says all the right things about how shes "never felt the feelings with anyone else, that she feels with me," that she would be "sick to her stomach" seeing me with another woman, telling me how considerate and respectful of a person i am and how she always feels so safe and "seen" around me. Then she leaves, disappears for 48 hours and when i finally reach out to her, she replies back with "I dont think we should see each other anymore. I'm just too busy with work to entertain dating/romance and I'm not emotionally available at all."
I didn't even hesitate and after a few super gas-lighty, passive aggressive texts from her, knocking my career choice and choice to buy a house and how she's "sorry" that I'm "stuck in the midwest," that "if you work hard, maybe one day you can have the freedom to move all around the country and be an entrepreneur like me," etc, I just blocked her and never looked back. It was honestly much easier this time than the first time, as i believed her that it wasn't an easy decision and believed her that she cried for weeks after dumping me, etc (which is SUCH narc behavior to make themselves the victim for dumping you lol). This time, she was just a cold hearted monster and made me resent her.
I burnt the marriage license and left, and I can't stop thinking about the entire mess.
This is exactly what happened we trigger each other's abandonment wounds.
Yep .. I was punished for not conforming. It's insidious . They unravel eventually. They are like petulant and haughty children. Veruca Salt.. Thankyou for your channel and profound insights..❤
This comment….. oh my god I literally use to have her name on my phone followed by Veruca as I said from day one your like veruca salt! I knew from day one 😫
This is the perfect description!
Legend pmsl 😅 Don't care how I want it now, fucking bad egg.
Thank you, I so needed to hear this today. Its been 2 years since he ghosted me after a 12 year situationship. As much as I wanted to chase him again as I had done so many times in the past, I found the strength to resist the urge. Even though I don't think there has been a day go by that I haven't thought about him. Yesterday I came across some old holiday photos which brought back memories of the happy times we had together and there were lots. last night I dreamt about us being back together. I hear what you say about giving my energy away, I always try to busy myself to escape these thoughts but he's always there in the background. . I know it was a toxic relationship and in reality I wouldn't ever want to go there again, so thank you again for this video which has helped me to get back on track.
I think our minds get in habits of thinking about people we care about even if they are not good for us. Maybe you can find something else to pour your attention into. As soon as you completely forget him, he will contact you. It is funny how the energy works like that. As soon as you forget them they feel it and want you back. NEVER go back!
Your not alone.
I understand. It was 19 yrs for me. I am told to delete the photos, but I won’t do this unless or until I want to. I may never want to as they are a record of my life too. However, I do not look at the photos ever bc I know they will provoke feelings that are based on a distorted reality. When I am able, I plan on putting them all in a file, so they are available for me to look at, if/when there is a time that there is a benefit to me to look at them. I have been keeping myself busy doing things whenever I can so to put new life into my mind. I pray that opportunities come for you to do the same as it has helped me move into acceptance towards fully letting go. May God. Comfort you and bring you peace and joy 🙏🏼
You remember and loved those good times!! But the bad times out number the good times is what I think about. I don't want to go thru more hurt again bc it will come back and torture you again if accept them back! The pain hurts so much you cry and keep crying and we can't keep going thru that!!!
I understand you completely, but they seem to block it out after 10 years together 3 1/2 year-old little boy she only thinks of the bad playing the victim because I wasn’t getting on with her the last couple years and said I wanted to end it and she kept pulling me back with sex and whatever else and trying to get me to have another kid with her and I was drunk she started a fight got me arrested got a restraining order took my kid took my house out in two weeks from my house in three months. She moved in with a guy in my kid loads of false promises of her talking to my mother saying that she wanted to try and sort things out and me that be there and be able to talk to each other and no, she is just playing the victim and everything that I did for her for 10 years nothing was good enough and she only thinks of the last couple of bad times so we had none of the nice memories of creating a child together and going away and buy everything that she wanted and getting her anything that she wanted or if she needed just take the money and now she left me with no money rob stuff from my house took my kid and moved onto somebody else
I have decided and emotionally detached - had enough
I gave my one about 4 narcissistic injurys and narcissistic collapse I done a true professional job i almost enjoyed it 🤣. She won't be coming back for a hoover
RT ON !!!! GOOD. THEIR EVIL HURTING EVIL IS NOT A SIN LOL
I agree the terms & conditions were unacceptable to me.
They treat love as a transaction.
@@kimgordon3695 If it were an equitable transaction, that might be workable on a certain level, but it isn't. It's all about them.
Even if you're thinking about the BS they've put you through, they still "feel" your emotions? Not that you want them back, but the anger of it all?
I didn't realize that was transmitting energy to her. I will make every effort to stop.
I've listened to Three of your You Tube videos and it's as though you were telling my story year by year. It ended 12 years ago but I couldn't figure out any explanation for her behavior. This nails all the competition, gaslighting, cynical putdowns and final attempt to cause financial harm. I am grateful to have escaped with my power back and feel very sorry for her new husband. Damn, that was a rough 10 years. I'm very happily married now to a great woman who loves me.
Congrats. Glad your life is in a better place.
10 mins in is so true!!! I did take on a victim stance for something I had already chosen. It was my choice. I chose to be different, knowing where it would lead to making him mad. Knowing he wd punish me which it did but only long enough for me to accept and grief the truth. I didn't have to do anything, really, but be me & et him be him. It was all a facade.
U r very right we r trapped in this worthless bond.
For me in the end was it simple. Only giving energy and received only negative energy back. So wish here luck and kept my energy for my own. That is feeling wonderful and found out that I am not missing here. 😊
Met this narcissist that was running scam once, one of those get rich quick websites, called him out and he got so angry.
Three years I was ghosted. Then out of the blue he contacts me. He got divorced . All it was that he wanted was to tell me sorry, and listen all about his divorce. The a bunch of bubble gum bullshit. Plus calls on a private number. Then that's all he has to say. Then right back to the slient treatment. Says he doesn't think he's narcissistic. Come on . Has anyone experienced this????
Yes
Omg the same thing happened
My wife is a classic. She will admit all the symptoms. Even says she is going to get an apartment and live alone. She knows who she is, but can't seem to break out of it.
@@dougretter She never will
Wow textbook. Hoover. Testing the waters to see if they can come in ...
Wonderful, helping people like myself regaining our strength and dignity. Thank you so much.
They will devalue you whether or not you play their game.
These videos are really eye opening and I’m thinking about some past relationships in which I was with a narcissist and didn’t have a clue……I’m of the opinion that at least 50% percent of people today both men and women can be classified as narcissists…..And that number is growing…..☹️
This content is life saving. Thank you for your work.
Thank you so much a light bulb just went off. In my head God bless you. I wanna give you a hug.
Anoushka, The way you speak, express yourself, and share your professional experiences is truly magnificent. Your advice has been invaluable to me, helping me prepare for my wife next moves.
When you speak, all your words emanate from your heart, filled with love and the intention to assist others. It is truly delightful to witness such an enchanting individual like yourself, who is also an incredibly skilled psychologist.
I don’t like to beleive that there is no hope of a narcissist changing ….Even if it’s only a little bit of a change at a time it’s a start
Only GOD can change them if they are willing to give their life over to HIM.
But just my soul don't let my self to contact them
THANK YOU Anushka, I recked my brain to find real solutions for how I feel, something to soothe the emotions and feeling. I’ve been so blinded that I didn’t think of this, but you are absolutely right! So THANK YOU so, so much! I think you’ve nailed it.🙏🏼👌🏼
You also have to think ab wanting to be living in your head and constantly thinking ab how things could be instead of reality. When you realize how much you've already done to make things work, you'll see that there's NOTHING you can do to make things work with them. Taking them back only shows them that you will continue to do so no matter what they put you through.
I don't need to have somebody and like that to live
Its killing me . Must leave 😅
How many preachers and psychologist does it take to change a lightbulb? No ammount can because the lightbulb has to want to change.
Light bulbs don't think for themselves???
Thanks so much for your perspective and help! This talk helped me understand that she was chasing me for a 'payoff', and when that finally ended with my exhaustion and being 'difficult', she started punishing. I see now that I was heading in the right direction. Now, the idea of channeling that better energy for healing makes such good sense, and your explanation of the dynamic fits perfectly. I have new and better goals now!
Yes - narcissist are just awful-I’m healing too - sending heaps of strength
This helps so much thank you. I didn’t understand a person and now it makes so much sense. ❤
I've chased mine for 27 years. Figured out a month ago what a narc is and now she's refusing to give me a divorce I've been threatened with the whole time.
Trust is everything and its broken.
Damn dude, sorry to hear. I half got married to my narc ex in a little backyard ceremony two years ago but luckily for me, she played a bad hand and started to devalue me just before we were going to sign the legal paperwork to make it official. I said the hell with this, I'm outta here. I thank my lucky stars everyday for dodging that bullet. Best of luck, it'll all work out
I pretty well called her out on all of her lies started setting boundaries and she ghost me lucky me
I'm so sorry. My situation is different. Mine is an in-law, and I have sought her approval for years. Just last December, I realized what I was dealing with this whole time, and I am trying to disentangle myself. They devalued and discarded me(smear campaign and all) for the last time this past March. They are now trying to love bomb me, and I am trying to deflect it. At this moment, no contact is not an option as my husband has taken the responsibility of taking care of her on himself. I am through with all of this nonsense!
Not easy to leave with five small children but seems inevitable. Just found out she’s a narcissist few months ago. Been married ten years…
Your vids are so spot on! Absolutely spot on.
I just tell guys it’s in my natal chart to arrive better than ever after a break up with a karmic or toxic person. It’s just what happens. Make ‘em nervous before they even TRY to devalue you lol.
Can they be back later on after you exposed them or is it over for good? Not wanting him back, I am just curious.
Once you move on and truly forget them, they feel it and try to come back. One woman had a narc make contact with her 10 yrs later.
Mine came back several times. But it was only for her to try and hurt me more. The worst was after my brother died. I was already in shambles. These people are evil.
Only to hurt you. Be careful. I put myself in a dangerous situation thinking he just wanted to talk. He wanted to harm me but i escaped.
It's helped no end. Thank you.
Excellent video. Mine has stopped contacting me for the last 2 weeks. She is getting her attention off likes on fb from men who think she is perfect. I have said she is a narcissist and she denied it but she knows I know and have seen her mask slip
This video was perfect!! You really hit it. Thank you. I will see about further insights from you. It’s been remarkable. 🙏
Exactly! Wow! Thanks.
I agree with this guidance (yikes that makes me sound a bit entitled) just mean that I’ve experienced it. As my narc spouse saw me research and push back against my narc family, I think he realized the tactics wouldn’t work. Thus, he has either been much more subtle / subdued about his attempts or just not trying to begin with. He knows it’s fruitless. I’d love to say I did this on purpose or out of genius but it’s just how the chips fell, but aside from any smearing I’m not aware of, it has made it easier to get away. Show them you understand. I am not a professional but one question I heard from the many on here that always works for me now (give it a go)- I’ll ask the narc or controller: what are you hoping to accomplish right now (when the tactics kick in) - it flusters them and deflates the attempt. Good luck all and let’s keep healing!
I was literally astounded at this perspective! I have tried and tried to relay my perspective to my therapist, but this was incredibly articulated down to every word and emotion. This was probably the most inspirational video I have ever watched! Thank you.
So relatable 😢
Thank you for helping us through these crazy situations. Much appreciation for the survival clues for after the narc too.
Well said well done, every word is so true n your speech is super powerful
Narco change moment to moment not forever.
Great advice. I love listening anoushka.
Just got restraining order and seeing him in court I got so upset I drank and sent I love you text now he sent one back I will ignore him married,9 yrs😅
Thank you. You are very helpful.
Love you Anoushka ❤
Thank you ❤
I think my fiancé is a narcissist and I would really like to speak with you about her and find out for sure as she has just put me in the no contact zone right now and I would like to know if I need to walk away or try to fix our relationship, because I am deeply in love with her but I don’t want to have to deal with this kind of behavior for the rest of my life! Thank you very much! Brian Doyle
If she is going no contact on the engagement stage of your relationship, I would call it off. It will only get worse after you marry.😢
If you are here searching for answer's you are not the narc.
Run for the hills. Don't look back.
This is the discard stage in the cycle of abuse. It can indicate they have another supply. (RUN)!🙋
Don't walk away,, RUN 🏃 for your life!!
You're welcome...
If you even consider it a possibility that your fiance is a narc, then buddy, leave.
謝謝！
Thank you 😊
Thank you
Great video ❤
great video,thank you!
Now my soul control myself
Thanks Anouska, you have a very different style and it is very relevant, I feel like you absolutely know, thank you
Jealousy is a beach 🏖️😂❤
I think narcissist or not this is useful in many situations
Narcissists are failed incarnations. The base soul mind/ personality interface was damaged or destroyed. This is extremely damaging to us and them. It's painful. There 8s literally nothing we can do but understand ourselves and leave them. We can heal. We can grow. I've seen narcissist mask collapse . They still couldn't learn. On to the next source just like a pretty vampire. But the narcissist was a child who was psychologically and spiritually murdered . Maybe God can help them. But that's definitely beyond our capabilities.
I can bring back my narcissist wife if I find she no longer make harm on me emotionally and mentally maybe when she is critically ill or if she is really accountable on she has done on me . confession is tha right thing she can do without any reservations then that's how it is,not for me on how she might to do or I might to do.
Goodluck
Yes is verry hard to block my feelings
I am always scared while playing your videos as the music in the background keeps on playing even after you have started talking on the topic!would appreciate if the music stops playing immediately after you start talking after the intro!!
Your videos saved my life but how do you get your kids away from a narcissist family my exes whole familiy dad sister and her are coverts
Hi Anoushka you have really helped me see the real..... quick question do they feel this way even if they have a new entanglement..
How do you stop thinking about them? I’m trying but it’s hard :(
What is the narcissist? Men who triangulate, they way their parents did and their parents before them? Having a direct attempt to get close have to take what you said, take it through a third person and then out to you? That's not so bad is it? That's not playing the role Stormy Daniels. No way, that's way off the map. But instead of getting counseling to learn not all women suffer the limitations. of grandmother, and he never really learned how to communicate in the first place? No, my Mother said her and my father were friends. Dad was really her best friend. They could talk to each other, share opinions, rely on each other to be there when needed. And how many people are looking for that? I'm glad I came back from California. I didn't belong there.
Trying to be nice and hoping that opens a bridge to some insight is fleeting. She is a strange fish. Poor child.
Това е просто инстинкт за само съхранение
God can change a narcissist 🙏🏻
By eliminating him/her from the planet earth. Otherwise, nope - they are Devil’s creations
If they repent of sins and cooperate on Gods terms,not their terms! Surrendering of their will!
Yes He can!!!
Just keep in mind Jesus didn’t try to save the devil he got the hell away from
Nothing will change something this sick
One thing I do really need to do is move all the photos off my phone even some other family photos of me and her and the little boy playing together there was one last one of us all playing together on the bed with water balloons and stuff saw that and it made me cry for hours that was couple of months ago. My mum spoke to her said about some videos. She said send it and then she just got nasty said well look what he messed up. Look what it could’ve had and what he did was nasty nasty when you’ve been there through all the highs and lows never knew about the warning signs, of her getting a restraining order against her last boyfriend I think she just go from person to person doing the same thing as I’ve got a son with her
The real victim, the innocent one make the right choice to end it, unknowly to them. Make up a reason and leave and know you made a mistake. Tell them afterwards. After you leave, only if you come across them and after you leave, make up a reason, amd get a divorce if need be, they will never truly commit they cant never or disconnect. But you must cause it was never about you in the furst place, its about power and control thats it. U til they get help they can not heal. They only know how to run in their mind amd heart. Even if they say their saved and know the bible and dont want to hear about God or healing. They dont want to heal. Their trapped in their mind which disconnects from their colden heart, from that rejection of dad or mom or both. Its a entrapment from the pit of hell, the devil, it is demonic in nature too.
My email that I sent you came back to me address not found just so you know GOD bless
Its very hard.
And before I have relationships with Narc women's
8:30 min into your video & you still haven’t addressed the click bait question. Waste of time.
Getting revenge is empowering. For me it was the only way to get full closure. To stop the wanting what I can never have (the fake future.) I copied Ted Bundy and "became" everything she wanted. Matched her fantasy. Planned for months; bought clothes and a car I knew was ideal for her ideal guy. I waited for the hoover, preparing my moves and image/aura. When she came back, I was exactly who she had dreamed of all her life. Then, over tge next 4 months I slowly mortified her, but not just a simple exposure name calling kind of mortification, I walked her through each unmasking making her realize and expose her own every lie and every rotten thing she'd ever done. To the point she was babbling like her 8 year old brat self and re-enacting how she acted with her dad as a child. Then I ignored her until she left. She tried two more times to leave on the one up. The battles were fierce. By the time she left, the nask coukdnt go back on. She was just desperately trying to bring me down insult after insult shamelessly just boldly everything from how my dad was killed and she was glad about it to hoping my uncle loses all his money to attacking my childhood traumas.. It was so bizarre. She was tired and exhausted the wsy I usex to be. I destrpyed her. But that's not the revenge... The revenge is knowing that I created an image of who she always wanted that she can never have. The same thing she tried to do to me. I had warned her in the beginning that if she wanted yo play games that she would lose. She accepted the challenge telling me that "I always win." and I even told her... " and thats exactly why you will lose."
Shes fuel for me at this point. When she discards, I workout every day - hard. I eat well, I work on my finances and make money, I spend it with women when I have it and basically kick ass in life without her. When Im with my narc our days are nothing more than preparation for the night's sex and I don't do much else. She cant stay too long because she gets bored. And I cant do anything while she's around because she can't be left alone by herself or if she sees all my successes and how good my life is, how eady, happy, etc.. then she's going to get envious and start devaluing.
Where's the video?
Please write on the screen while speaking.
go to settings and turn on captions
❤
👍
Hi my name is Leona can anyone speak with me privately pls
What's up ?
I need to speak with someone
@@JaneDoe-oc1qx about relationship stuff?
@JaneDoe-oc1qx
lets talk
Това да бъдеш задоволен психически е много по сериозно от това да бъдеш задоволен физически сега приятелко разбираш ли какво иска първо трябва да се научат да я чукат психически и тогава ще бъде всичко нормално
I'm looking at one narcissist who is running right into a buzz saw. And ALL of his troubles are of his own making. Every last one
Meet Donald Trump.
And so it is with all of them, just not in such a public way. Narcissists run into serious trouble eventually. Their own narcissism puts them in harm's way in one manner or another.
As psychological defenses go, it's actually a pretty stupid one.
Really. Unreal......
No you are in mistake just I want to tell you only GOD CAN CHENGE THEM NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT PLAN HAVE MY FATHER ❤️🔥🙏❤️🔥
Religious narcissists, I would say, are the hardest to change. I wish for her Jesus, cause when I wish her Jesus, I've wished her everything.
@@naowright9308 to tell you really I don't care will change or not
My husband says he is a Christian and is on leader ship in the church.
He eats the bible lol.
Still no change.
Wolf in sheep's clothing.
They can't and won't change.
I know after 36 years together.
It boggles my mind how people find it so hard to get over someone
Who is one on here speaking maybe u need to look in mirror or can u not see yourself
… you spent a whole lot of time repeating yourself and saying nothing 🤯 … if anyone coming here really wants to resolve their issues with narcissistic relationships, then they should listen to professionals such as Dr. Ramani, or Lisa Romano, or the diagnosed narcissist Prof. Sam Vaknin … listening to you ramble on, milking the clock, will only perpetuate the trauma and frustration of narcissistic abuse …
I or many of us have heard those people too, but there is something down to earth here and 'non-clinical' sometimes is more relatable and real. I like her style.
@@janebraun4482 … I can see how some people could possibly relate to that, … have you ever listened to The Little Shaman? … she is very direct to the point, no nonsense or beating around the bush … a totally different style than the others …
Thanks!
Thank you 😊
Great video!
Thank you ❤
Thanks a lot 🙏❤
Thank you.
Thank you
Thank you 💕
Thanks!
Thank you 😊
Thank you 🙏🏽