Lonely Men In Your 30s Avoid My Mistakes (Fix This Now)
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
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Books mentioned in this video:
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People - Steven Covey
How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Mans Search For Meaning - Viktor Frankl
These are some things that helped pull me out of loneliness in my 30s. If I would have had the foresight implemented these things in my 20's it would have saved me a lot heartache and discomfort. Learn from my mistakes.
0:00 Some lessons
0:41 Seasons of loneliness can serve you
3:14 Go inward
5:38 More needed, less needy
9:01 Emotional regulation
10:02 Viktor Frankl
Alternate titles (for the algo)
I wasted my 20s
Lonely men in your 30's - Society has failed you
Being alone in your 30s
Modern men are lonely
stoicism, stoic, meditations Marcus Aurelius, self improvement, productivity, philosophy, Epictetus, Seneca
#selfimprovement #mensmentalhealth #stoicism
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I'm 29. I've been been alone my whole life. I honestly think it's a superpower to function this long without losing my mind.
I think seeking out mentors in the form of books can be a massive help. Read "way of the superior" man if you can. Doing the inner work is what will change the external world
Respect
Yes I’ve been solitary for many years and it can be unhealthy in ways but there are definite positives. One thing I’ve seen constantly is how very very few people can be alone for a day much less weeks, months or years. They have to be around people constantly and that’s a big weakness
Respect
You die eventually so it's up to you if it's the life you want
As men, whenever we lack purpose or have no direction... we become our own worst enemy.
Preach... that's when entropy creeps in
It can be the same for us women 🧡
Keep fighting the good fight
R.Williams once said, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone".
Thank you for sharing this man. That is 100% correct... I've been in that situation myself and it truly is far worse than being alone... Appreciate you highlighting that
this is a victim's mentality, other people don't have that kind of power over you, you are the one reacting to them in that manner..."feeling lonely is you not being able to be alone with yourself, no matter the company you will always feel that void, make peace with yourself, take this time to look inside and you'll realise that everything is fine :)"
Love it!
35 year old man here, been alone completely since 22... been working-out 5 days per week, studying languages 30 minutes per day everyday (I've studied 29 languages), studied all kinds of self-help material, studied all subjects that I loved, including animals, nature, wildlife, currently signing up for online school again. But, here I am, at the peak of my life with no clue what's next? I'm literally realizing that I'm not sure what to do or where to go? How to date? How to make friends? All of my old friends are married, elsewhere in their lives, etc., and I'm not attracting anyone into my life at all. Idk... just floating I guess. Routine is working and I'm still doing the same I've been doing. But I love being alone. I am so happy alone and that's the crazy part. I'm addicted to doing my own thing now. I'm lost in my own mind and cant get out of it.
I could be completely wrong, but it sounds like your content within yourself, but could maybe use some deeper purpose. If you're mental health is feeling like it's at a good place then I would start experimenting with some different creative outlets that you could potentially share at some point that might enrich other peoples lives... Even something as simple as creating some art and putting it on the internet is a good place to start and can add a layer of fulfillment.
Men really need to feel that sense of purpose in order for life to not feel mundane and meaningless.
Also, making friends and dating are skills that you develop just like learning a language. IF you want to improve in those areas, allocate some of your time into learning how to get better in those areas just like you would a language.
But if you're genuinely happy being alone, that's completely okay too. Just be honest with yourself
get a kid
Maybe you love the me time you have. But you might not love not being connected to other people. Otherwise, why ask about how to make friends, how to date, and emphasise how other people you know already got romantic relationships and that you believe are not attracting anyone at the moment? Maybe you are lonely and need to have some close connection with people. Maybe you won't be floating anymore if you had that. I am beginning to admit that I am lonely as fuck to myself so I understand if there is a type of embarrassment or humiliation attached to that. Making friends and dating are very much possible as these things depend on skills. The only hindrance is if you cannot let down the invisible wall between you and people. I was able to cultivate social skills to make "friends" and attracts women and managed to have a girlfriend once, but I have realised that my problem is the invisible wall I cannot seem to tear down even once and not the befriending/dating skills even if my skills leave much to be desired. I have lived like a shut in since I was a kid so severely socially isolated. Point being, it's possible if you're not like me.
@@TheConsciousMan143 Yeah man, I am genuinely happy being alone. I used to be extremely popular in middle and especially high school and in college too. I had hundreds of thousands of MySpace friends and that opened crazy doors for me. I was on top of the world and was extremely popular in the local punk rock scene, as well as, the trance music nightclub scene. But in 2010, I returned to Europe to my family... stay there a while and decided to return to the states, to a different city, and completely removed myself off of the internet. Disappeared from everything & everyone that I had ever known. Crazy to think that I used to hangout with Jeffree Star and many others in that circle.... most people wouldn't believe it, but the thousands of pictures are there to prove it. But, idk... solitude and being unknown is so beautiful. Truly is. Hard to get out of this man. Life is moving. Purpose changes.
43 man here. love being alone. once people marry they change and its all about the rat race. i do most of the things you mentioned and have become sort of addicted to it. i read a lot , a daily person to the library and the staff know me due to that. I cook. read, go for drives in my car, watch movies, some people think being lonely is bad but actually its really inner peaceful . the dramas my friends face is so stressful and I thank myself when i go to bed. just because you have friends and family does not mean you will be happy. sometimes they make you feel lonely even they are there
One of my favourite expressions is: "You're never lonely if you like the person you are with. Become that person."
Love that. Thank you for sharing
I'm 28 years young , good looking man, always been around attention but never took advantage of it . Because for me love and relationships are most important thing in life, they either help you grow stronger or make you weaker. I choose to stay alone instead of chasing love,sex etc. Anyone can have that,90 percent of the population are running for sex and attention. I feel being a Man, I can be more productive and helpful to society and make a better living . Focus on yourself guys, you won't feel alone. I know I will end up with someone who truly deserves if and if not I'll still have me. I'M A HERO !!
This is actually a pretty healthy place to be my man. Content in solitude, but open to the right person. As long as you are genuinely content and at peace, at the end of the day that's all that matters.
I’m 25 and last year I was alone effectively for the first 6 months of 2023 , I built a business that brought in nearly 250K in revenue but I succumbed to my loneliness in June and started dating again. Found a girl who had many red flags but I choose to ignore them to heal the pain of being alone. My business suffered, my mental health
suffered and I eventually had to end that relationship after 3 months. For the rest of the year that need to not feel alone ruined the last quarter of my year. I never learned truly that being alone and working as a man is just another obstacle you have to overcome. Thank you for this video, I’ll play it when I begin to feel alone again this year and not invite negative people into my life.
Your video hits home for me!
I was single for the greater part of my 20s. Now I am 30 years old.
I went down the self improvement route and started enjoying being alone more and more. The consequence was that I isolated myself even more from my friends, family etc.
Last week I had a date for the first time in a very long time.
Although I thought that we are on the same wavelength, she turned me down shortly after.I was devastated, but nonetheless I enjoyed the date very much.
It showed me how much I miss an intimate relationship. This date woke up a sleeping giant, so to speak.
Isolation is a double-edged sword. On one hand, I've been able to break away from bad relationships and habits, but on the other hand, I've completely neglected my social interactions.
Now here I am in my early 30s with virtually no experience as far as romantic experiences go. Now I wonder if I will ever manage to find a suitable partner and have a fulfilling relationship.
I guess it's time now to step out of my isolation and work on my social skills, even though I have no idea where to start.
I suppose I will find out along the way.
You got this men! Dont let the dusspointments of dating get to you. They are there for everyone.
Thank you for sharing this brother. Having a first date after not having one for a long time is a VICTORY. Social interaction and dating is a skill to improve just like anything. It's like it's own category of self-improvement. You're going learn from every single dating experience, both the positive and negative ones.
Non-toxic dating coaches like Corey Wayne might be helpful for you in the is current season of diving back into dating. Check him out.
And bro, being 30, you are still young. I am 35 now and the amount of growth and change that has happened in my life both mentally and physically is insane. I looked like a different person 5 years ago.
You are on the right track. Just keep going. Do not stop.
I relate in a way with your experience and the "advice" I can give you to start your journey of improving social skills is to start by talking to everybody you see during your day (it can be at work or street or even a grocery store), it may sound useless as you gain nothing in return but it's not about that but more about watching yourself expressing to the outside world and step by step trust me, you will be very social.
I divorced at 33, met a lot of girls ,but still single at 42. I worked a lot to improve myself all this period. We are designed to have a partner. I had had more that 3 hundred rejections. Just keep goin'. Life is beautiful. Just stay relaxed and trust God is gonna give you what you need.
You got to start somewhere. One advice is to never get attached to a female. Always have the power of a man to walk away when the female is not down with your program or is flaky. Have fun meeting new people and women but don't commit to any women unless she's proven that she brings value to your life and she makes it easy for you to date and court her. Also she has proved to you that she is wife material and submits to your leadership.
“Loneliness is a gift of used properly”
That part right there.
I read that in an old journal entry from a few years ago and it really hit
IF*
@@TheConsciousMan143 Just pump and dump *hores man. Why are you lonely ? plenty of desperate expiring woman at that age just sleep around and dump em,, zero headaches, make some bar/activity friends, and educate yourself in your interests.
@@TheConsciousMan143 Youre insanely good looking for your age and even look like you have finances together, there is ZERO reason for you of all people to feel loneliness, youre full of it.
such a dumb take , he was already married that stuff doesn't make one happy if ur not happy with yourself @@richardsteiner45
I'm 28 and been alone pretty much my whole life, I feel I have no one to reach out to, no one to talk to, the one friend I had that said there were there for me and I could talk to abandoned me and cut me off for just trying to keep in touch, trying to be there for them, showing them genuine care, love and support. I can't take this unbearable pain anymore, the sleepless nights alone, the tears, the heartache. Falling into this dark mindset that it's going to be this way forever and wondering what I've done to deserve this while everyone else is happy and loved 😢
I know I need to work on myself, and control my emotions. Just finding it so hard
It is hard. I too struggle with this everyday especially when I'm in an angry mood and there's no one to talk to.
I know it can be tough, but painful seasons like this are a hidden opportunity to rise higher... to let yourself be forged into a more resilient, self-contained, self sufficient person who isn't so reliant on the external circumstances and to other people to feel at peace.
To say "everyone else" is love and happy but "not me" is a victim mentality. You are not a victim. You have the capacity to become powerful. But it takes work. Sit with the discomfort. Go within. Learn to meditate.... read books like "The superior man" and "Mans search for meaning"....
The external world changes as YOU change and heal your inner world.
Wow that was poetically dark
everyone is not happy.
Let me be your friend. Probably not in the same country but we can text on WhatsApp and stuff. Hell, I could use a friend too. Would you be interested in sharing stories and advice?
I don’t think it is crazy or destiny I came across a this video. Everything resonated with me because I am going through this season of loneliness. Which I am liking but at first it was horrible I almost wanted to off myself. I feel a lot of men are going through this right now. We all need to come together and become our own tribe and empower more men to become great men that society needs.
Brother... yes. Thank you. If we let it, those tough seasons can reveal the massively profound potential within each and every one of us... Appreciate you sharing
I feel the same man 27 and alone
@@TheConsciousMan143start a community
@@kyledalton703 enjoy your solitude and see the positive side of it. Lear new skills, a new career, a hobby. Stay occupied because an idle mind is dangerous. Also we are not alone because we are being punished, maybe god removed all the people permanently/temporarily so we can work on ourselves. When he sees that we are in a good mental state, then the people meant to be will be put in our life’s. One more thing, don’t be afraid to make friends and socialize. A simple conversation with a stranger in line or where ever can lead to a fruitful relationship. Stay up brother and be a great man! This world needs them NOW more than ever!
Likewise, especially living in collectivist societies the pressure is more to be surrounded with people but loneliness can allow you to focus on your goals and remain calm which is not always possible with a toxic girlfriend or friends who are not sincere
Great video brother. I just turned 31. The past 12 months have felt like one season for me. However, I have become a lot better at being "lonely". I have really tapped into the inward journey.
Next weekend I am attending The New Warrior Training Adventure with the Mankind Project in Ireland. I am looking forward to connecting with others on this spiritual /self help journey.
Remember this :"Being alone doesn't mean that you are not wanted; it's a sign that you're patient enough to wait for the right relationships that truly value and understand you."
Hang in there guys, keep helping one another and speaking your truths. Love from Ireland
☘
beautifully said brother. Thank you for this.
Connecting with other likeminded men who earnestly want to improve, grow, and in turn make the world a better place helps make the process a little easier. Glad you found your way to this vid
@@TheConsciousMan143where can I find like-minded men in real life?
@@boratsagdiyev522that can be difficult . It’s even harder as a guy in his mid 30s to find guys that are compatible and like-minded.. I don’t play sports or go to bars anymore and don’t have kids so that really limits options. Plus the the thought of starting a new friendship is daunting at this point
Fleeced
They will find you as you improve yourself and grow... it's good to be complimented and elevated by others, but relying on them too heavily can form a shaky foundation.
Build yourself as the foundation, and people will naturally join you on your journey... You will also become more assertive and willing to approach and start conversations with people you admire as confidence in yourself and the work you're doing grow, which can often lead to deeper friendships if that's what you're looking for@@boratsagdiyev522
It resounds with me. I'm 30, almost 31. Separated from my couple 3 months ago, having one daughter who's 2. Rebuilding my professional life and fighting to run my business, in a city were I barely know someone (recently moved) building social relations, etc.. new blank page that needs to be written. I struggled since my 20's with anger, from past wounds and recent wounds. Doing what it takes to regulate it, fighting hard that I can overcome that obstacle and regain trust in the inhérent value I have, with dignity, as a person, as a man and as a father. Thanks
Sounds like your in the arena fighting for your best self brother. Don't stop... progress is very gradual, but you will look back. Keep doing the things that your future self with benefit from. Don't stop
I'm 24. Mid-twenties have been very humbling. Started appreciating all the little things in my life and understand that I can only overcome through challenges. Started caring less about politics and other things I used to care when I was younger. Now, I value things with substance
Man you're so much further ahead of me than I was when I was 24. Respect. Keep going
@@TheConsciousMan143 thank you! I am struggling in certain things and I definitely need improvement. I think I just got serious with life this year. I love this content and I have subscribed
Great advice. I’m a 25 y/o man who’s been struggling with loneliness for a bit now. I’m sure most men are like that, social introverts. You enjoy being alone but cherish time spent with important people. I can definitely say the lonely mid 20s feeling is very sinking and leads to some dark thoughts. I know nobody wants to feel this way, it’s just hard to find a way out.
right there with you bro
The tools in the video work brother... It just takes some faith to keep showing up everyday and doing the inner work with very little results at first.. but the micro results compound until you eventually recognize and start using the power you've had within you all along
26 and have felt the same. Finding hobbies in wildlife photography and travel helped me a lot. Still not easy though so I hear you bro.
Same for women also. Introvert women mostly
@@ana-maria448 I think it's so interesting how introvert/disciplined men and women both feel isolated. I just realized that we are all on our own paths and don't engage in superficial social situations so end up never running into each other lol!
That one hit home. I'm 25yo and am currently in the process of cleaning up my past. Man, it's hard sometimes, and it's good to be reminded that we go through hardship in order to reemerge a better human. Thank you for this great video, can't believe you're under 30k subscribers. Keep it up and we will keep it up too!
Thanks for sharing brother... when men come together like this and share their personal experiences and encourage one another, it reminds us that we're not alone and we're not so different. Be proud of yourself for earnestly trying to make changes.
Small steps will add up, just do not stop. Much love
I’m 27, I don’t even want to explain my situation but this video is crazy. If your mind grows and the people around you doesn’t, you hate them and they hate you, go alone and when you finally are your true self ATTRACT those people instead
I completely agree with finding your true self and attracting the people that are aligned with that. Thanks for sharing
Great video bro! 26 here, been working on myself for over a year now. loneliness can be tough sometimes but I think it is much better than ending up with the wrong people. i dont mind it anymore and its peaceful most of the time.
Only people who have been on both sides of the fence can understand this. Being in a relationship with the wrong person can feel more lonely than actually being alone. It's wild
The Chris Rock quote is simply brilliant. "Women, children, and dogs are the only things that get unconditional love." WOW! That is sooo true. Yeah, us men seem to get nothing. We're s*** on by the world, but we keep going because that's how strong we are.
“Women” in this context means the top 2% of young and hot women. Trust, me, the vast majority of us struggle just like anyone.
I hear you... at the end of the day the suicide rate is still 80% and it's rarely talked about. Just wanting to shine more of a light on that... I'm definitely not into the "battle of the sexes" ... I love women, I think they're amazing and they have attributes and giftings that men don't have and vice vera.
I believe most dogs/cats get it; kids and woman? No way, on paper it seems so, but so many kids grow up dysfunctional from traumas in family, lack of love, support, grow up codependent, or searxhing for toxic partners and friends.
On paper and as a quote i agree, in reality is far from the truth.
Every human has monsters in the closet, most of us just choose to run from them instead of facing them
@flyintappu my man, totally agree. Girls get s*** on by the person they love too. And I don't like dogs 😅
I didn't get love as a kid.
A man's vulnerability is his gain in being conscious to himself and his environment. Truly amazing 👏🏾
Appreciate you watching. Good to have a lady in the audience
A man should never be vulnerable to women. It's a bad idea.
Its just a profile pic she could be trans or a goose 😂😂
And she literally does not have any place mentioning mens vulnerability. Yes, let thoughts regarding women go and how they do things.
But, fact is they just do not know how to value vulnerabilities, they just pretend. Don’t pretend to get involved now either.
@@0707565this is a good video, content.. Takes confidence to get up on a video and tell everyone your baggage and how you fix, solved or working on it.. inspiring and helping others 👍💯
The lonely period of my mid-twenties was excruciating. Mostly because being alone with your thoughts all the time can be scary. But this is also a great time to examine them and change what isn't working.
It can indeed be scary... but it's also usually a massive opportunity to grow. That discomfort often times leads to new and better chapter if you can surrender to it. Easier said than done for sure
‘Being alone with your thoughts can be scary’ - only if you’re an idiot
Incorrect, and this is a needlessly negative comment that helps no one. Mens suicide rate is higher than it's ever been... which usually starts with being alone with their thoughts. Not something to be taken lightly or summed up by calling someone "an idiot." @@sim9373
Dude I feel like you're me when you talked about the transformative and bolstering lessons one can learn in solitude. Thanks for sharing this video and sharing your perspective and experience, it's awesome to see how much progress you've done. I'm on a similar artistic path like yours and I find it inspiring to see how much progress you've going into your 30's. Keep it going man!
glad it resonates man! The artistic path is a tough one… figuring out how to balance your sensitivity with masculinity isn’t always clear, but I feel like I’ve found that balance for myself. I’m excited for your continuing progress. keep going dude
Im 36. And have been alone my whole life too. Im an introvert and need to be alone to truly relax myself. Ever since leaving the military I have been on anti depressants and benzos to help with PTSD and Im doing well for the most part. Earning a great living and taking care of myself. But as I get older I do seem to wonder how long Ill remain single or want to be alone. Im actually a good looking guy in great shape because I work out alot.
But the meds and my anxiety have kept me in my comfort zone. And before you know it. Years pass by.
I hear you brother... I'm an introvert myself and it took time to slowly do exposure therapy of pushing myself to practice being more outgoing... started with saying "hi" to strangers on a walk... then full blown conversations, and then eventually cold approaching women I find beautiful, etc... Gotta try and push yourself out of the comfort zone slowly over time if you can. It will make a difference
Not typically what i look into so its funny to have it show up on my homepage, but it was so worth the watch. Ive been feeling this sense of lonliness for the past 3-4 years, ever since i started living on my own. I realized roomates and toxic relationships have most likely been covering up what I was afraid of confronting. Now im 33 and this is the EXACT issue im facing. Word for word you explained how my mind works and it scared me man. Right now, i dont believe i have the self love and in turn, i dont have the ability to show the world my value.. I had to pause your video twice because i couldnt breath, i broke out crying and it was a hard 12 minutes to get through, but the video ended in a good place and i felt like i have much to take away from it. Ill give your book recomendation a read because I too find stoic literature hard to process (atleast for the time being). Your video was straight to the point and its already pointing me in the right direction. Wish more guys were open like you. thank you.
Man you definitely found this video for a reason. Thank you for sharing. Those moments of pause, shortness of breath, tears, etc... that's part of the healing process and things coming to the surface. It's not easy... sounds like you're going through a "dark night of the soul..." but keep facing all of it. On the other side of it is freedom, your potential, and healing. You're being forged... and it feels like surgery.. Keep going.
Sending love
From my own experience (turned 30 7 months ago), I second everything you said 🙏🏾 keep up the good and honest work. Young men can definitely use this message
I will brother. thank you much for watching and for the kind comment
The part where you said inner voice resonates with me so much. I’ve been in therapy for a year to process my feeling and heal childhood trauma. It improved my mental health so much because I began to love myself. Thanks for sharing your story.
Man.. thank you for sharing. You're doing the work. The amount of time it takes to heal is different for everyone... the important part is just to get in the area and fight for your purpose, freedom, and healing. Fckn proud of you brother.
I Hardly comment on any video but this Touched my heart I'm a 19 year old broke boy trying to figure my shit out and when I hear someone like you say this I can't help but really relate to this Thank you for producing this video my mind is opened ❤❤
Glad it resonated. One day at a time brother 🙏🏻
I took a good hard look at how I was living and saw a pattern...I only did solo activities. Things that didn't involve anyone else. Now I'm trying to take myself out of this comfort zone and do team-related things that I've been interested in but never really got around to. It's still uncomfortable, there's still disconnection that we may have to wade through, but I truly believe that there is happiness and friendship waiting for anyone on the other side of suffering.
Props to you for leaning into the discomfort... it's basically exposure therapy and it's not easy. Especially when it comes to social dynamics. And i agree... on the other side of that discomfort is usually freedom
Im 35 and I know what you meant. Only for now I see that I lose whole my life, I turn back and see that I have nothing, and the main problem was mentality. And the biggest advise I would like to add to this video about emotions control is that PLEASE guys don't do the same mistake as me, go to therapist and CLEAN all the shit from your head, all reactions all abuses from your childhood,all hate, in a few years of intensive therapy with a good specialist you will be the man which you dreamed about, and the main in your character and in your mentality will be CALMNESS , you will not be sad you just will be calm and ready to control your emotions and master of your own mind and body. I did it too late I wish I would know it earlier but for me - it's the truth, your mentality is everything.
Thank you for sharing brother... sounds like you've made some massive progress. And better late than never... sure you maybe could've made some changes sooner, but what counts now is that YOU DID IT.... take a moment and be proud of that, and keep going. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us
@@TheConsciousMan143 thank you 🙏
This guy is gonna blow up.. while promoting a good cause, too. A joy to see.
You're too kind man... thank you
By complete accident I stumbled across your videos and I cannot tell you how much it resonates with me. Not just this video, but many others.
Thank you.
I'm so glad to hear that man. Grateful you found your way here. Much love
Great video brother, I’m 25 and I really resonate with this video and I’m in this exact place. Some things in my story are different but in the end all the same. I appreciate this.
so glad to hear you resonate. My 20’s would’ve been a lot better if I’d learned some of these lessons sooner. keep pushing brother 💪🏻
Wish I was 25 again.
Thanks for going out of your way to post this brother it was dope. Keep at what you're doing 🙏
Appreciate you taking the time to watch my dude 🙏🏻
Wow bro! This really hit home, thanks for being so vulnerable. Take care!
Absolutely brother. Best of luck to you
I'm feeling like you - a real men. Your speech, your voice, your calmness. I feel like my father talking to me. Exactly what I wanna became in a future. Thank you from the deep of my heart, you have a new subscriber.
Man... thank you. I'm honored
Great advice! Thank you for this. Instead of chasing after people out of desperation of loneliness, finding that inner peace and self-love is key.
Absolutely man. WELL SAID
I was that person
I spent a lot of my twenties alone. My mother and little sisters moved to another country. It was really hard. Just after that came the pandemic. Wasn't allowed to go out except to the shops. During that time Iife really started to become more real to me and very lonely. I started doing things that both myself and others didn't think I was cut out for, like singing. I finally met my partner online on a music bootcamp and she came to my country, we've been together for 2 years now. It's been tough as we've been having to deal with each others internal issues that we haven't dealt with ourselves. I don't know where I'm going but I'm going on 30 now and I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for this video, I think it's going to go far!
Thanks for sharing brother... it's good you have enough awareness to realize that when people have their own issues internally, it makes connecting on a genuine level a lot more difficult... Hopefully you guys can go within and deal with the root of the issues. Wishing you the best
@@TheConsciousMan143 🙏
This video touched my heart. Beautifully said. As I like to say; every season serves a deeper purpose 🙏
Appreciate you.
I was shocked when I scrolled down and saw the subscriber count. I was expecting something in the neighbourhood of 1.5M subs. Your channel will grow very fast, I can tell
Nonetheless, a good message at a good time. I've been going through a season of loneliness myself. I had to shed most of the friendships and relationships I've had, in order to sacrifice them on the altar of progress. It's been 1.5 years, and I can sense the vices you've mentioned creeping in. It's a good reminder to not allow myself to fall down that trap, and instead remember the reason I have taken this step in the first place.
I am happy to be here as part of the beginning of your journey. If you decide to, you can achieve great things on UA-cam
Man, I really appreciate this comment. Super encouraging... I'm already blown away by the response in the first month of making these vids.
Love what you said about sacrificing on "the alter of progress..." I feel like that's men's right of passage that a lot of us miss. There comes a point when your purpose needs to take priority over everything else... I don't just mean making money, and getting ripped either. I believe every man has a deep and profound calling that when tapped into makes the world a better place...
Sometimes we just need to embrace those dark seasons of loneliness because they are the opportunity for us to find that purpose. It can be very painful... but it's worth it in the end
I’m a 32 year old woman and this video is speaking to my life in a way I can’t explain. I came here from the fathers suicide video, my father hung himself when I was 16 a month before my 17th birthday and 10 days before Christmas. I have been alone my entire life. I also tried psychedelics this year in the same context and was married out of fear. I want to attract good people. Good friends. I don’t even know what that would look like. I have always felt like my consciousness is split into two between the primitive and evolved. I’m not a man but I’ve always felt like I have a masculine pride and emotion. I have started singing again, like I would when I was young and I can feel the energy heal me the day after. I have also always thought that pretty woman get by so easily meanwhile people always told me I was beautiful so I’m confused about that entire thing.
I really enjoyed your video; hearing your story felt like reliving my own experiences. It struck a chord with me. I firmly believe that the journey of self-transformation often starts with shedding the victim mentality. Not everyone begins there, but it's often rock bottom. Progressing through self-improvement can be isolating; you find yourself distancing from familiar surroundings, forging your own unique path.
Whenever I discuss my learnings with my father, it's met with resistance. He gets visibly agitated, almost storming out of the room. His childhood wounds remain unhealed, leading him to pretend that his current state is ideal. I left that mindset behind years ago. The journey of self-improvement is lengthy, perhaps endless. I'll strive to remember my lessons, although I've forgotten before and likely will again. Untill I remember.
Let's keep forging ahead! Much love to all of you here.
Amen brother. We have similar journeys judging by your description.
But we will forge ahead indeed, we have a hidden power that even we don't quite realize, it's in the dark, when you're alone, in the bottom, with no one else next to you to pull you up that that power shows up, giving you the strenght to make you get up, and go again, stronger and hopefully, wiser.
@@joaoalegria7578self improvement never ends. But we shouldn't force it to the point of where it starts to give u anxiety for not keeping up.
Beautifully said my man, thank you for sharing. Sorry for your lack of connection with your father currently. It's never easy when blood family can't relate or celebrate your wins and grow along with you... I've experienced very similar things. All you can do is let them be and let your life be an example. Much love to you
@@boratsagdiyev522agree brother, we should never force anything. But we must realize that it's necessary to evolve and grow.
I have also struggled with my father. Mostly it was that snigger and the smug laugh of - see im a better man than you. Always ridiculing anything i said. I believe i finally moved on last year after yet another unpleasant episode. I don't call him much or share my progress now. Of course i will always be available to him because i will not be an irresponsible son but something in me died and i have just moved on mentally
Bro your content is next level. Keep going. I needed you.
heck yeah. I will brother. appreciate the encouragement, and stoked that you found it helpful 🙏🏻
I needed this. I just turned 31 today and I'm ready for change. thank you.
Love this brother. You can do this...
good video my brother
i respect you for doing this video .
im also going through some loneliness feelings ,
im again traveling alone ,after going back to my country for a month i decided to leave it again because of war going on there and im alone .
before that i was traveling alone for 6 months
i can say it has developed me very much . ive met people randomly , gone out alone , talked to people
and just be with myself
for sure that feelings of neediness was a major part of my life and with the deep work ive been doing for the past 3 years got me to the point i was able to travel alone and trust myself .
i still get anxiety , lonelines but i just stay with that emotions and go on with life
peace and love brother
Appreciate you sharing man... You are growing. Keep trusting yourself that way that you are... there's something profound about traveling solo like that
I just turned 30 last month. Out of desperation went out with a girl that a kid when I just turned 29. Fell into relationship right after 2-3 months of dating, after a year we broke up. She used to fight all the time, I didn’t do this, I didn’t do that, one small mistake she used to go bazooka. I missed my freedom when I was with her and her kid, felt like I am trapped. At the end I always wanted to come back to my place. After last fight, she broke up with me and went to new dude the next day after breakup, whom she used to call her friend.
Since I have been living my myself most of my life. Kinda felt like trapped living someone, she also wanted to move in, get a house. I just couldn’t do it. Yeah I kinda miss intimacy sometimes after breakup, but it’s kinda nice not having to deal with someone else’s kid or her constant dramas. And fighting, the only thing I miss sometimes is sex and intimacy
Sounds like pretty toxic situation. Glad you got out of that man... when you get to a place of good mental health, you will never again tolerate a relationship where you're being disrespected by someone like that. There's no love in a situation like that... maybe some unhealthy reliance or clinging, but definitely not love. Better things are coming... keep working on yourself
I just broke up with a great girl, the love of my life. I'm starting to see my mental state just wasn't ready for her yet. Luckily I'm only 28 and got a great job, just need to work on improving my life now and building some social structures. I can really resonate with your advice here
Some of the most profound reflections of my life have been after a breakup. It can bring a lot to the surface... Proud of you for doing the inner work man. I know it’s not easy, but it is worth it. Keep going
Feels like the kid in me is dead and I'm finally becoming a man in all honesty. I hope I can remember this pain the rest of my life and never go back.
Just bought the book you recommended. Going on a trip to Japan in 2 weeks and I'm going to put myself out there fully. Keep up the great content brother
I’m rooting for you bother. keep me updated
Men sleep around, play women during their 20s, refuse to commit, and waste our time...then complain about dying alone.
What a blessing this channel is!
glad to have you here buddy
I appreciate the video. I love you bro. I hope this channel doesn't get heavily commercialized like other men's channels and becomes the first one of its kind with a genuine connection with authentic guidance from you. Thank you for your work. Keep it up
I love you too brother. I'm hoping that if this channel does grow in a big way, that the community and subscribers will keep me accountable as well, so I can keep making videos that genuinely help other men push through hard times and become the strongest and best versions of themselves... The world needs that. Can't do this alone.
I think it kind of self selects. The kind of youtuber you are, you will attract more or less the same kind of audience on average. Ofcourse there is a bell curve in that too. What I sense is that you are not a short-term quick buck making kind of a guy. You are here for the long-haul and don't like profiting at the expense of already vulnerable men and believe me taking the high road is what I recommend. Because it is way less crowded if you know what I mean. @@TheConsciousMan143
Raising a son I try to learn as much as I can about men and the stages they go through. It helps for me to learn the perspectives of men at different ages and the thoughts they have so I am aware and present for my son❤
Right there with you... I have a son too. Little boys need both the feminine and masculine polarities.. I know that's not easy especially if you are a single parent. I have not doubt your son is in good hands
@@TheConsciousMan143 yes I am a single parent but I have all the tools of a single mom with the mental capacity to think of the psychology side of raising kids then the external achievements that most pRents seek for their children. I validate their feelings and truly listen to them. They actually have valid thoughts and parents should be open to trust in who they are . I have read and gain tools to raise my children with morals and kindness.
This was so articulate and wise. Excellent information, sir x
Thank you very much. Always appreciate a women's perspective the comments
Hey man. Just stumbled on this video. Sounds like good advice. I'm in a phase of my life where I need to rethink how I live and where I'm going. I will probably rewatch this video after a while and check out your other videos in the meantime.
The fact that you even see the need rethink your life, means there's potential for an amazing future where you reach your full potential... Be patient with yourself, but start learning and applying ASAP. Keep me posted brother
No idea how this video found my feed but I must thank you. Incredibly well constructed video. I really needed to hear all this
man I’m so glad it resonates.. and thank you for the kind words. Literally started this channel a few weeks ago on a whim with no expectations. Grateful it’s reaching the right people
@@TheConsciousMan143
I've been there brother. I had to learn the hard way.. it can especially be tough if a relationship was a huge part of your identity and then suddenly you're alone. Quite a painful wake up call, but that's often times what pushes you to the edge of getting to your real potential that can impact this world. Keep going @@chad2687
@@TheConsciousMan143 Ill do my best, thanks man!
Currently 18 almost 19 soon, not going to college but learning a trade and I feel like I'm starting to enter this "season of loneliness" mostly because my girlfriend and I now decided to split up for good and I've just realized how lonely I truly am. My girlfriend was a distraction from that feeling and now that she's gone I don't have anybody I can distract myself from that loneliness anymore, It's just me.
I feel this brother... Just know that the universe takes those distractions away for our benefit. So we can grow... I know it can be painful. But these are the times when we a forged, if we let that process unfold. One day at a time brother...
I love you genuine & kind you are. Much respect & admiration my friend.
Thanks for sharing. I needed this.
So glad! thank you for letting me know it resonated
Thank you for sharing this video! helpful
You are so welcome - appreciate you watching
Wow you truly speak from experience and understanding. Most people I have seen just repeat what they heard about self improvement.
Life's too short to not be straight forward and honest... if my personal experiences can help even one person then it's worth it. Appreciate you brother
I cant believe how good of a video this was. Even though im not alone anymore (first gf since 4 months) this somehow gave me a bit of healing for 9 years of loneliness before that. Thank you man, i wish you all the best things in the world.
Man, so glad to hear that... making videos like this contributes to my healing as well. It's a win/win. much love
Amazing mate 👌 the information in this video is gold
Glad it was helpful my man. Appreciate you watching
Finding male friends isn't really a thing anymore these days... the high cost of living, bros on drugs, having kids they cant afford, being bitter, trapped in trauma, etc., and I find that a virtual friend can work, like youtubers, self help books, internet idol style stuff. I personally love Neville Goddard.
The internet is absolutely an incredible advantage we have in this modern age to connect with others. It can truly be a blessing or a curse depending on how it's used.
This was the thing I needed. It hit right. Thank you
Amazing, I'm glad to hear that brother. You got this
This video is so impactful. I'm glad I found it, thank you. I subscribed
Glad it resonate my dude. Happy to have you here
Every word u said resonated with my life. Many of us are in this together. And I know everyone will get through the struggles. One easy way to stay rooted I feel is to be present in the moment in every way.. emotionally physically creatively and treat yourself with kindness, forgiveness.. wishing everyone a good meaningful life ahead 😊
Beautifully said brother. It really does all seem come back to presence... Thank you for this
@@TheConsciousMan143 I hope everything works out for you!
What a great video, i never comment but this hits pretty deep. So true to all the points you made, thank you truly. Very encouraging.
Absolutely brother. Glad it resonated with you and thank you for the kind comment
This is a really good summary of everything I've learnt the last couple of years and struggled to put into action, I actually want to go spend some time on my own.
glad it resonates man. Awesome that these vids found their way to you 🙏🏻
Love your videos, really helped me out from depressing situations. Thank you!
I'm so glad brother - Keep going
I can't believe how much I needed to see this video; the algorithm is clearly doing some correctly. Thank you so much for this.
I'm so glad you found you're way here brother
Can you imagine being Invisible for 28 years and these Young Girls can barely handle it for less than 4 days before they get angry. Brutal shit when these Apex Predator Girl’s lock you in their Sights.
I've found it's best to not worry about what I can't control ... I can control my inner world and progress, that's pretty much it
keep uploading my bro...quite a good video to learn!!!
I will. thank you broseph
The hard part is to keep going even when you're not feeling okay. When that happens is so easy to get back to the old habits...escaping the harsh reality and negative feelings. Wish you all good look in your spiritual journey.
I hear you brother.... Those dark seasons are what forge us, but yeah they are are painful. But a hidden opportunity to emerge reborn and with purpose. Read "way of the superior man" when you get the chance ... It will bring some clarity
I was so lonely at a point in 2019 I could literally feel cortisol being pumped through my body, I felt it running through my blood vessels, like I was going to die of it. Never felt anything like it. My body was sending it's biggest fight or flight signal it could because it thought I was finished..
Thanks man. This resonate with me. Now I'm doing works to change this with prayers too.
You've got this brother. Keep going
Thanks for this video man.
you’re so welcome brother. appreciate you watching
Amazing video G, your words gave me an interesting perspective for my current situation, thank you💪
Happy to hear that man. thank you for the kind words and taking the time to watch 💪🏻
What is a G?
thank you very very much... sometimes I feel like I know the way to go, but always falling down from time. It kind of helps me to hear I´m not alone struggeling...
I’ve felt alone for 34 years lol. Addiction will get you feeling really alone. 2 years sober though. So that’s something
Your video is amazing, I felt as if you took the role of my mind and told me all this. Thank you
So glad you found your way to this vid and it resonated man. You've got this
I’m 29. I lost all my friends when I spoke up on my mental health. I don’t speak to family. I’m currently in the process of restarting my life. Rebuilding a friendship circle. It’s hard when you try to be a better person when the depression is still there.
Definitely resonates. I have spent the last three years looking inward. Sometimes, it feels pointless, even aimless. But at the end of the day, it has reaped me rewards I have yet to fully unpack.
Much love brother.
Thanks for sharing man. It often does feel like you're just staring at the wall... but then small bits of awareness slowly creeps in and it compounds. Props to you for continuing to show up.... that takes faith
Bro speaking my mind. Good to hear and nice to meet you 🤝
Glad to have you here my man
Your video has value to others in many ways!
At some point I become to really enjoy being all alone. But the begging was painful of course.
There's definitely an adjustment period, but once you settle into it for a time... a ton of growth can happen
Great stuff brother! ✨
Thanks buddy. EVERYONE CHECK OUT THIS GUYS MUSIC.... it's genuinely amazing and impactful
I've completely transformed myself in 6-8 months by dedicating that time to focusing on disciplines, habit building, goal setting, and accountability TWICE. I've done this twice and know what it feels like to go from being a complete loser and failure across every part of my life to being admired by peers, dating multiple women, healthy, truly happy, and confident in 6-8 months. Write down and FOCUS on becoming who you want to be in 2 years, read and review your goals daily for 10-15 minutes for 6 months.
6 months is all it takes to completely change your life, your goal should be to not even recognize yourself 6 months from now.
wow brother... couldn't of said it any better myself. Thank you for sharing this advice and well done
Can you share more about your goal setting strategy?
@@playtimewitheddy Know who you want to be in 3 years. Visualize who that person is financially, physically, mentally, spiritually. Write it all down, every detail, every habit, ever goal THAT person has, every aspect of this new life you see yourself living in 3 years. Write down 10 things you'd like to focus on in the next 6 months, the next 3 months, and the next month to become this person. You should focus on those 10 things and schedule your day with time to focus on these 10 things daily.
Start simple like read 10 pages, drink 1/2 gallon of water, meditate 10 minutes, workout 3x a week, eat 2k calories, anything is a start. If you don't know something, watch a youtube video on it, read about it, make it a task, just keep moving forward.
Focus on these ten things and review them daily before bed, 10-15 minutes and adjust your goals. Consistency is key, always make sure you're getting closer and closer to becoming this person. As you grow and become better, adjust your goals, set deadlines. The first 2-3 months are going to be hard, you might think you're not doing anything as you'll be unlearning bad habits, feel like you're not progressing, get frustrated, fall into bad habits, whatever. Stick with it DAILY. I can't stress how much consistency and building habits of the person you want to become are all it takes.
Do this for 6 months, you'll get farther than you could ever believe, your subconscious will mold itself into this new person first internally, then externally into the real world. People will notice
Love how you do your Videos on your own. Got me some inspirations
Takes forever to make each video but worth it if it helps even a handful of guys
@@TheConsciousMan143 yeah keep it up!
We need a band of brothers to come together, support one another, strengthen one another and show each other tough love by pushing each other to improve
Hoping to make this channel all about that. Accountability baby
Being in Solitude had me loose all my friends but i found Myself ❤
This was great. Subscribed!
Thanks for subbing man
Awesome content … you are going to blow UP my man, speaking to where I’m at right now, personally
I love when the right video finds the right people at the right time... so glad to have you here man.
Very good. Thank you again.
I’m 32, and just overcoming addiction. I have become isolated from everyone.
I lost interest in everything that’ I used to love.
But on the bright side I have been on a healing journey and changing myself to be a better person.
Also picked up the King James Bible ✝️
Stay on the journey brother... it is worth it
love the video love your story great value. you just got a new subscriber
Awesome, thank you brother. Glad you found your way here
Been living on my own since 19 trying to push thru. Can relate to everything spoken about
...and keep pushing brother. It's worth getting on the other side of it.
Thank you for the video. I started losing friends and becoming lonely the day i decided to ditch my loser life and move up. Moving up sounds great to say but the process is very painful and can be never ending. My journey to make something of myself started when i was around 25 and only now at 40 im beginning to see results. In this time, i lost all my friends for my inability to talk the mundane stuff and my relentless pursuit of something big. Nobody wants to talk the deep stuff (like whats in the video) and people just disappear when you have any progress to share. I have tried everything, i tried to be interested in their lives and ask about them - but how long can one just talk about movie, sports or food? Two things have helped me stay sane and motivated and make the loneliness sting less. Programming and stock trading. At least the days are filled with excitement. But i guess nothing can make up for lack of meaningful human connections especially for us men who need to connect with other bros
Brother I know exactly what it's like to outgrow friends. It can be painful and scary to leave those people behind so you can focus on growing.... I'm so glad you're starting to see results, even if you're 40... it makes no difference the principles are the same.
Sometimes you plant seeds, water them, and it can take years from them to grow and bear fruit... just don't lose faith.
A part of working on yourself however can be intentionally growing your social and dating skills and also studying to better understand human nature... Read books like "how to win friends and influence people," and look into dating coaches like Corey Wayne (NOT the toxic redpill ones) can be really helpful for guys in your current position
THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEO
absolutely brother.
I'm 28, got a nice job, workout almost everyday, but I'm stuck in this circle of doing the same things in my free time. Almost every weekend it feels like I'm rather waiting for monday instead of making the best of it.
How to fix this?
Learn some skills bro. One skill at a time
@@yohanlegars9257 Thanks for the reply. I have skills, photography, editing, graphic design. I just want to accomplish more in my free time to feel less useless.
I hear you - If you've truly accumulated skills, then now it's time to follow your curiosity and excitement and CREATE with those skills... Less consumption of content.. become a creator of content instead.. It's not always clear what you're creating at first, or who it might serve... but the only way to get clear on that is by trial and error.
authenticity... beautiful... I'm 32 i can relate so much, so true everything you said!
Man, I'm so glad. Thank you for letting me know it resonates
Looking forward to seeing a lot more videos about your way of viewing life
Man,thank you so much… I definitely don’t have all the answers my any means. But I will always be completely honest and earnest in my quest for truth based on my own personal experiences. Sending love your way
Young men listen.
You only get out what you put in.
This world this universe is just that simple. Plug and play.
Genuine effort is always rewarded.
Patience is the key
Beautifully said. I second all of this
Keep it up mate! Good content, can resonate on so many levels, pressed like when I heard about psilocybin, as am about to do the same soon! Thank you!
Glad to here it man. Yeah they need to legalize that ASAP and use it therapeutically. Could change the world