The Harsh Reality For 50% Of Women
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- Опубліковано 14 лют 2022
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - The ...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson reacts to 50% of women being childless by 30. ONS has recently released data saying that 50.1% of women haven’t had children by age 30. Why does Jordan Peterson think that women are having fewer and fewer children? Why are women having children later in life? Does Jordan Peterson think that population collapse is imminent?
#jordanpeterson #birthrate #dating
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@@mosesking2923 What a terrible person
I was childless at age 58, when my partner of 20 years suggested children. I worked and was fine not having kids. He was age 60 and organized the birth of twins by egg donor/carrier. So, I raised my 13 year olds from birth at a late age, experiencing both states of womanhood in my lifetime. I would say childless women may be happier, have time for opportunities for self-expression, and lead more interesting lives. But, I deeply love my children and cannot deny that the experience is profound, my understanding of life broadened, and am a less selfish person as a result.
@@gracielchiu Sounds Ace, older parents have a richer comprehension of the pitfalls their children can face, which has to be benificial
You tease you 😂
@@Josh-tf9cr I understand his point, however I don’t think Christ himself would hope for tragedy in hopes of growth. The issue is “hoping” for bad things to happen. Obviously pain and suffering allow for growth but I personally think it’s better to hope they recover instead of hoping they deal with consequences.
When men don't want children, its normal. But when women don't want children, it raises questions.
I know. It’s just so ridiculous
Says who? No one is forcing you to have kids ....
men deal better with being alone than women do. that is a fact
@@spiritofalaska But don't studies show that women (whether married or not) have a larger support system 🙄🙄🙄
@@ABC-ho5jo that is why i wrote men can deal with being alone better than women, because we usually don´t need bunch of "support groups". we enjoy lone time much more.. also the "girl squads" don´t last. because times change and people move or some get married then the ones who never get married or have children are all left alone by themselfes. there are alot of single and lone women out there
I was raised by a narcissistic woman and I find that I meet too many narcissistic women. I'm great believer that "All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children." My greatest fear is to be trapped in loveless marriage and the children are the collateral damage.
That doesn't excuse ending your own bloodline like a dumbfuck.
@@Slavkleos
Bloodlines don’t matter. 😋
Same goes for women.
❤️
agreed! it`s awful and difficult to even see how wonderful family can be when your first, important years were ruined by family. Nowadays you dont wanna deal with any of that shit
would prefer option what guarantee: peace, no stress and anxiety all the time. Just saying pls do what you think its best for you. You know yourself better than anyone
I am pregnant now at 40. The reason I got pregnant only now, not only because I focused on my career, it's because it took me a long time to find a man who shared the same values and goals as me and was ready to take a relationship seriously enough to build a family together. I've felt the pressure so long of "freezing eggs" and "getting older". I could just see now that I am really healthy to carry a pregnancy by doing everything naturally.
Congratulations, but be careful about having any more. At 40 you have an extremely high risk of having a kid with autism or various birth defects. Good for you for earning your own money though, far too many women have kids without ever having had any sort of real job before! That will come in handy if you have a daughter, because you're in a position to raise her without ramming it down her throat that the only way to "earn" money is to marry it.
@@ivanadraguljic6372 Career/work is never important to most people anyway. It's just making plenty of money that's important because modern day life is extremely expensive.
Life is too short to work for a living, people only do it because it beats the alternative.
Also, at 33 it's extremely unlikely that a wealthy man will consider you unless you're extremely gorgeous--and if you were, you could have married a wealthy man a long time ago, maybe 10 years or even more. It probably would have been creepy as hell but money is money!
@@devilsoffspring5519 The autism risk is with older fathers not older mothers, however probably most older women are married to older men so fair enough
@@devilsoffspring5519 70% of women in the UK work statistically, most women work, this is not rare. Most of us will never have the option of marrying rich even when we're young.
@@devilsoffspring5519 That's nonsense perpetuated by pseudoscientists. The only risk is dying while giving birth. I bet you're the type that think incest is bad. It's only bad if you do it more than once.
People who feel they have to do what society expects are either scared or can’t think for themselves. Do what’s right for you.
I bet you can't tell the difference between society and genetic need for human survival..
@@joshknight8973
The survival of any species requires members who procreate and those who don’t. We have 8 billion people on the planet. That number needs to go down.
@@joshknight8973 we have too many people as is, willbe just fine
@@lillianp-yj6yx It takes 80 years for all generations to die and 40 years to make enough children to replace them. Will be just fine if people keep reproducing.
@@lillianp-yj6yxno it won’t! When all those people start to get old and there is not a young generation in a sufficient number to be the work force and keep the economy going. Those who have no children and no money to pay for private retirement, then we will have a big problem!
I am a woman, aged 60, never married, no children. For me it was the right decision, it is the lifestyle that suits my personality. That being said, I encouraged all the young women who have worked for me through the decades, to remember that what they had was a job and only a job. We were all disposable at work. If what they wanted was a marriage, children and a family then they should save their money, plan ahead, find someone who they loved and respected and hand me their notice when they were ready to start their family. I could always replace staff. Their family could never replace them. Women fought for the right to choose our destinies. Wanting to be a wife and a mother is a fine choice and a service to our communities.
Wonderful sentiment. Your staff were lucky to have you
Women didn't "fight" for squat. You complained a lot in the streets. Hardly storming Iwo Jima.
@@tellercydeyou alright dawg?
@@tellercyde I agree that it has always been innate in men to give their lives to women and want to please them so no real fighting was needed. But no need to argue about that in this thread which has nothing to do with that.
Sounds like cope and backward rationalizing.
As a preschool teacher I can tell you that 9/10 people would be better off never becoming a parent. It is just not for everyone and thats ok. I don't understand why some people get pushed into parenthood with no education, poor as all hell, anger issues, drinking problems...They have no idea what to do with a child so they take them to the kindergarten all day, take them home and put them to sleep. Don't be afraid not to have kids. These are not the ye old days. You should be happy to live like you want to. It can be with a baby and/or a job you like.And please don't think a baby will fix a crappy life or a crappy relationship. Young girls be smart, do better.
Thank you.
Exactly. That band aid baby or the golden goose. I have known 2 women that purposely got pregnant to get out of going to work or doing something they don't want to have to do. They lied to their boyfriend and the other one lied to her husband, went off the pill, didn't tell him and jumped on him when she knew she was ovulating. What gets me is their vile, manipulative plan works. They get pregnant no problem and get out of whatever it is they did not want to do. Yet, there are many women who would love a baby and plan on a baby because they actually want one, never use him or her as a pawn in their pathetic life and they cannot get pregnant to save their lives. I will never understand that one.
Going by your number than 90% of parents are drunks, druggies and psychos.... Which is plainly not true unless you live in a bad neighborhood. In which case your numbers are not representative. If you argument with numbers, give us the courtesy of using accurate data.
@@lauravergot9995 you’d be shocked how common child abuse is these days.
It’s called discipline!! No one has the discipline in the heat of the moment to use protection so most of us were accidents.
I never wanted children. Then when I got married my husband also didn't want to have children. When I was 34 I felt an overwhelming desire to have a child but my husband wasn't ready. Fast forward 2 years later and my husband asked me why we didn't have children. So, we decided to start a family. It was the best decision I ever made. My son filled a void in my life I didn't know I had. Especially, since I wasn't considered by many to be maternal. Becoming pregnant and having a child is a life changing experience. Fast forward to the present moment and we are expecting our 2nd child in May. I will say that parenthood shouldn't be rushed into if you aren't ready to commit. Parenthood is an extreme joy that nothing in life can compare to but it is also the hardest life journeys you'll ever embark on. So, be ready to fully commit and have a partner who'll support you on this journey. You'll find its one of the most fufilling things you've ever done.
by nature women have a maternal instinct, you can't ignore it, glad it's working out well, sadly too many people are NOT FIT for or will ever be ready for parenting, why? they did get good role modeling to do this growing up, we have too many children growing up in single parent homes, they don't get role modeling for marriage or parenting, they often become dysfunctional adults with kids later -- not good for them or society
fast forward to now and no one cares. then fastforward some more and i still whipe my a** with your story.
Children are not things that you can "fill the void in you with". That's deplorable, narcissistic mindset! Poor kid, will be eff'd up with a parent like you.
"Don't rush into parenthood if you aren't ready to commit."
At 34 you were already leaving it late. People more so than ever are really getting carried away with arrested development. Wasting so much of their 20's on vacuous nonsense that they like to call fun. Only to approach family with some poorly understood notion of settling down.
@@ThermicLight, you make a mistake. It is not "arrested development", it's called using brains instead of your crotch. Intelligent, well-educated people do not breed- they have much better things to do that deal with endless puke and sh*t. never-ending temper tantrums, sleepless nights and idiotic Play-doh.
I did a lot of thinking as a child. I thought constantly about everything. As I grew older I realised I couldn’t have everything I wanted in life (the perfect career, husband, kids). I knew I had to pick one or the other. I choose what my heart wanted and I decided to get married and have my first child by 25. Im now 36, have 4 children and still married to an amazing man. I am a homemaker. And yes, I am very lucky that I found someone so young that was right for me and who could support us all. Once my children are older, I will look into joining the work force to earn extra money.
I think you should understand that the chances of you re-joining the workforce after a long gap is unlikely. Fortunately your husband would have set aside money to compensate you for the lost years being a SAHM given the fact that you have no income .
There are many opportunities out there so don’t be discouraged. Many companies appreciate skills you have from running a household (eg negotiating with little terrorists 😊) good luck!
@@makeitcount2985 what makes you think it's unlikely that no employer will value her work ethic, people-skills, reliability etc.? Nothing stopping her from starting her own business either.
She will be fine with rejoining the workforce. A person like her is stable and has a good work ethic.
You are an awesome person 💓 You have priorities in correct order.
Why don't we talk about having children is much more expensive nowadays than decades ago?
@@mmecharlotte👏👏👏👏👏
Not that it was more expensive it’s that there’s more to buy
@queefstormiest
It is, that's a fact.
You may not know because you don't have any kids, and if you have, you are not taking proper care of them.
@@31tentaclesthe US government gives a $3600 income tax credit just 10 years ago it was about $500 credit… as a whole in our society we need a growing population cause they will take care of us at older age and keep the economy going.
@@gabrielgonzalez6456
OMG, what? Having children is not so they can take care of old parents, no offense but that's just fkd up, bro ❗️ if a man wants children so they can take care of him when he is old, he doesn't need kids, he needs a nurse (or she, whatever), children are people, not objects or property
I thought the lack of children had more to do with people simply not being able to afford children given the current state of the economy? People in the newer generations can't keep up with inflation, outrageous medical costs, rising housing costs, all alongside student debt. My partner and I consciously decided not to have kids for this reason alone, despite the fact we'd like to. We just can't afford it, even in our 30's.
Edit: We just had one child recently and are looking to grow our family, but our 830 sqft home can't accommodate. We decided to not have a 2nd kid since we can't afford a new house with the current housing prices. I guess economics strikes yet again.
Edit #2: My partner and I are now divorced due to financial hardship straining our marriage after having a kid. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, but it wasn't possible on one teacher's income. Suffice it to say this ultimately drove a wedge between us. I feel so angry and frustrated. I hate this economy.
that sounds terrible :( are you located in the USA?
My experience (60+ mother & grandmother) is that we can always find a way to afford the things that really matter to us. So unless you are truly destitute, don't let a modest income or lifestyle stop you from becoming a parent. I can recall some pretty lean times raising my son and yet I have never once regretted it. We always found a way and he turned out very well.
Jordan peterson is very biased and traditionalist in these aspect and can only see one view when it comes to child bearing despite the fact that he prides himself on being open minded. Sometimes I pity his wife. He's one of those people who is so used to being the smartest person in the room, he becomes closed minded to external perspective on things.
funny how poor people have more kids
@@nancybatch7007 That is a disgusting way of encouraging people to raise children in povery.
I never had children and have no regrets. Now my reason for that is kinda weird, but I was abused as a child and I'd heard so much about the cycle of abuse. I didn't want to do to a child what was done to me. I had a lot of anger problems so the chances were probably high. I got help and even now I have no regrets.
then stay single. no one is forcing you
@@rickyticky3350 Gee, thanks so much for your *Permission*
❤
I'm very sorry to hear that. It's hard to believe people can be cruel to their own children, yet we see it every day.
I felt unwanted and always had the fear I would secretly not want my child after having him or her.
Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you HAVE to !
But it can mean you should do.
@@brianterence3211 …. No
@@brianterence3211 free will is a thing
@@brianterence3211
It doesn't mean you should
@@brianterence3211
Doesn’t mean you have to or should. 😋😘
Complicated issue. The ones who should be having kids are putting it off, often till it's too late, and the ones who shouldn't ever have kids are cranking them out like assembly lines, often with multiple (unmarried) fathers and social services involved.
100% accurate, good comment man
Nailed it. Reminds me of "Idiocracy". We're living it.
@@IdExCS "I'm gonna f**k all of y'all!! Wooo!!!"
this is literally it! the issue isn't people in general choosing to have kids or not, its the people who SHOULD NOT be having kids and doing it anyway, THOSE people are the problem.
Yup. The smart people create social welfare programs and then decide not to have kids so all those resources just go into raising dumber kids 🙄
Some women don't have children because simply they don't like them.The choice for a woman not wanting children and being aware of it helps preventing toxic parenting and mistreating children who in adulthood would bear deep emotional scars.It's not always about career,it can be a clear and simple conscious choice.
Many people don't like children who aren't their's.
Also, the way western society treats children makes them intolerable to be around
What a self-indulged cop out..
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 No such thing. No one owes you children you will never see or contribute to. You're selfish because you impose on others.
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 I have cousins in another state (USA) who are Catholic and they are early thirties. Most Catholics I know are (sorry) full of shut because they don't follow any of the rules but will insist that they are going to heaven. Blah blah blah. I barely know these cousins, but I heard they adopted a crack baby -- worked through the issues -- and then 3 months later, another unwanted newborn they heard about. If you're going to make me listen to your Catholic bs, then at least be like my cousins -- adopt crack babies and then we'll talk. I really admired them practicing what they preach. Rare.
Thank you.
Do NOT do it if you don't feel it.
Exactly, it does not effect anybody else, where we choose to reproduce or not, except the child being born into this hellhole of oppression and hate. But, if someone three kilometers from me chooses to have children, it will not effect me in the slightest. If they choose not to have children, it still does not effect me. I chose to not reproduce because I am not making more tax slaves for the wealthy-elite politicians and corporate zombies. I just can not be that selfish. However, this effects nobody but me and the politicians and corporations, which I care nothing for them.
It’s that simple
these feelings were manufactured...
@@christianb.4726
The feelings for wanting kids were manufactured? I guess that makes sense, given how annoying they are. 😉
It is absolutely the worst advice to follow your feelings, have you ever seen how the feelings of a women change about something in a 28 day period? The same person can have oposite feelings at different times of the month… that is why we have tradition and culture to guide us through the unknown
I flipped at 34. I was so done giving my best to companies. Now I give my family my best and it feels correct. I still get so many job offers
You’re a stay at home Mom?
The best decision you will ever make, god bless you and your family 🙏🏽
Now you just have to hope a another country doesn't declare war and invade. Considering 65% of men are single and don't care anymore about careers, that family could be gone.
Christ and the Essene's believed that bringing children into the world was a sin and trapped the consciousness of God in physical matter and it was a great service to remain celibate and spare the consciousness of god the cruel experience of this world ruled by the demiurge Yaldabaoth.
@@eldenking2098 but how could the consciousness grow through experiencing Earth in a physical form if there were no physical body available to inhabit? thats why we come here to Earth...to learn about and spiritually develop our immortal souls by choosing to live in this temporary dream world of duality and pain....you need a physical body to do that don't you? Coming to Earth for awhile is the "fastrack' for our spiritual development...thats why we come here in the 1st place...the" iron must be made into steel" and tested in this world of illusion..in this world of "hard knocks"....
I came from Eastern Europe, where most children grow up in dysfunctional families. The typical father is alcoholic, violent, unfaithful to his household unemployed wife. Many of my friends (including me) choose to pursue a career and gain financial independence first before thinking about marriage. So if we ever end up in a scenario as our mothers have, we could leave the broken marriage and spare our children of the trauma we've suffered as children. Choices for the career first and later marriage (or no marriage at all) came from poor father/daughter relationships, which lead to deep untrust/fear towards men and marriage in general.
Good for you, Eastern European men are all over Ireland and they're really horrible to even us native women who pay taxes to give them free housing. They're really aggressive too
damn speak for yourself. Calling every Slav dysfunctional.
Thank you for putting this in. I am from a middle eastern family and I am a witness of how my mother is being patient with my father, who mentally abused the entire family for more than a decade. I see this in 90% of my relatives relationships as well. Unfortunately it is a cultural thing for many, that the wife is a mother and is not independent and has no other choice than staying with a crazy husband ( it also happens to be the other way around, but this video is about women). You never know how things go, so it IS important to get at least a decent education so that you can have a secure job to survive, if things go totally wrong. But I still want to finish my studies because it is my highest interest to be a scientist and can't wait to become a mother one day!
@@BOZ_11 excuse me, so if a man is totally unhappy with his wife after a couple of years, how is it then? „ well, he married her“? You never know people 100%, we don’t even know ourselves. And especially in other cultures, you don’t get the chance to „try“ someone first as it is in western countries. People most likely think that people all over the world have the same freedom in choosing their partners the way it is in western societies.
Smart men are walking away from whamen and marriage big time now, so don't worry. Enjoy your career and cats ...
Some women simple don't wanna risk ending up as single mothers, struggling to take care of and financially provide for children on their own.
Fair point but the bitterness and hostility within your answer is very detectable. Having grown up my entire childhood as one of three children being raised by a single mother, I understand the difficulties of such a situation. And, I, like many others, am disturbed with the percentage of non-present fathers, so it is understandable why for many women have their guard up.
For everyone wanting to build a family, finding a proper Partner is not easy. Moreover, once a potential Partner is found, developing and maintaining the relationship long term is incredibly challenging. But, my ultimate advice is, even with all of this considered, not to stop trying. While children do grow up in a family with a single mother due to the father choosing not to be around, there is another significant factor that contributes to the number of single parent homes. Many people in relationships nowadays, men and women alike, do not try nearly hard enough to overcome obstacles and challenges with the appropriate level of determination to stick together. People throw in the towel much too quickly. And, this comes mostly at the expense of the children. People need to have the fact consistently reinforced that having and raising a child will add that much more challenge to any relationship, which is normal, but with the appropriate efforts and cooperation, a happy and loving family is not just possible, but necessary and endlessly rewarding.
But, too many people are forgetting that once a relationship involves a child, the responsibility for both parents to maintain the relationship grows tremendously. The situation mostly stops being about the parents and both parents have an obligation to the child to maximize their efforts towards cooperation and maintaining a healthy relationship and household.
Ultimately, I share all of this because, while there is merit to your comment, its tone indicates that you may have had relationships or other experiences that have caused your hesitation and aggravation with trying to build a relationship and family. But, it is important to try your best to recover and keep trying when you are able. It is true that, with three children and a single mother in the household, our family struggled a lot growing up. Yet, my mother undoubtedly considers here children to be her top accomplishment and she has always made it clear that her love for her children fulfill her happiness and keep her heart beating. While all women do not need to feel that same way, it only makes sense that having children is a top priority for many women and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of their lives. So, despite all the challenges of our time, and all of the risk involved, the reward involved is worth it. And if it helps, it is still the case that many men desire to build a happy family as well. So, while I can understand why women can feel hesitant and defeated at times following difficult relationships or other challenges, I always consider it worth it to take the necessary time and steps to recover from bad relationships, or other experiences, as needed, then always keep looking forward. For anyone willing to put in those consistent efforts, the reward is possible and of incomparable value.
This is what people don't get. I've seen so many women give up careers to be wives and moms and them get cheated on and left by their husband's. I will never give up my career and will always be financially independent because I'm not losing that to conform to what society keeps telling me I should do.
@@Megan-19 exactly. Even if I do ever get married, I'll always make sure I have an income so I'm not screwed if I become widowed or divorced.
Many women end up having children with the expectation that the man will provide and society pressures him to be the breadwinner for life or looks at him in disgust. On the other hand women are pressured to have children but many guys could be violent, or cheaters or abusive to you/children. A lot of people should not be parents.
@@Megan-19 if you don't want a husband or children, that's on you and it's perfectly fine. However, you make up only a small percentage of women who don't want a husband or children. He's talking about majority of these women will be miserable or full of regret when they exceed beyond the age of childbearing. Also, my mom was a single mother of 5 children and all 5 of us came out perfectly fine. She doesn't regret having any of us and all of us are glad we were born, even with being a single mother. There's nothing attractive about feminism and Jordan spends quite a bit of time dismantling it on a regular basis
It's my 29th birthday today and I'm genuinely sad about not having a child yet. I still have to find a good husband and get onto having kids, but I feel like society pushed the career thing so much on our generation that we're seriously behind on everything else. I don't really care that much about my career, but it took a while to truly realize that what I genuinely want is to be a mom.
Good luck and don't rush. Your life will never be the same. But, I would still work part time or have residual income. You never know what will happen and aways have a plan B, C, and D. It may not be a divorce or anything of that nature... just want to see you prepared and protected so you can take care of yourself and your kids if you are on your own. I wound up having to go it alone and provide for myself and my child. I have my doctorate and was able to take care of us. My son is profoundly autistic, non-verbal, can't take care of the simplest of tasks, and needs 24/7 care. Fortunately, that is a rarer outcome, but I had to go it alone after ex abandoned us, so just encourage all women to make their money. I don't care how they do it, you have to think ahead. Best case scenario you just have more money for family or retirement. Worst case scenario you can take care of yourself and family.
When you became a mom you will genuinely want to have your own money and freedom it’s never enough for human beings
29 is not bad. Just look for a consciously right-leaning man, they are today the most devote fathers. At best he is also a catholic or orthodox Christian. Those man will be extremly glad if you want to be a mother. Just be explicit about this in your search for a hustband and I bet you will find a proper husband very soon. Was the same with us, now the 4th child under way. Its exhausting in the beginning with the 2nd, after that it gets WAY easier. Its hard to explain how much I love our kids. Best thing in life. All the best to you.
I am 28. Same. I haven’t find the right man for me yet.
Explore the world , be happy, joyous your not going to attract a beautiful person with pregnancy worries. I am 44 still have regular period and plan on having 3-4 more. I naturally had a baby at 31 and 37. Don't let anyone make you think 29 is old. You should have easily 7+ years to get pregnant. Search ayurvedic ways to keep reproductive system healthy. Obgyn in US do nothing, in India women take shatavari . You need to nourish your body. Being stressed isn't going to work for you
My wife got her PhD, first postdoc, excellent career job after that and now she's pregnant with our first boy at 32. We sacrificed a lot, but we delayed gratification for almost a decade and we did a lot of things right.
Early 30s is a good time to have children and get married
The alternative is getting married young, raising a bunch of kids, THEN going back to school. My grandmother did that, accomplished more than just about any woman I've known, all after 9 kids.
@@SeveredLegsBack in the day you could raise 4 kids without an education. Now you need a degree to raise 4 children.
@@christins.1481 To some extent this can be true, however, you don't need an exotic and expansive social-media lifestyle.
That is amazing. I definitely want a real man that understands I don't want my kid growing up in poverty 😊
As a single mother if it were not for my career I would have been homeless as having a child is expensive. Unfortunately for me I bought into the concept that my husband would stay and provide for us, which now I realise was delusional. A woman should be financially independent.
That is the best point out of the motherhood conversation. All women should be financially independent before getting married and having kids, society today is not conducive to stay at home parents
exactly and all these men fighting for old gender roles are delusional
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 It was always broken
@@lukegibson9410 Wait so are you saying if i make a child with a woman and then just fuck off, its the womans fault alone?
@@Swiss_Cynic yes, that's what he's saying. with the rise in gender equality also comes a rise in subjugation. a lot of men are extremely insecure and triggered by the fact that women are empowered to do what they want now instead of being forced to get married and become baby factory live-in maids. let's just hope society continues to slide in the direction of equality rather than back into female slavery.
I rather be a single than a single mom.
… and you can be a single mom, married or not.
good. get married before having kids
@@wade2boshRead the comment above you🙄
He is saying getting married is better than being a single mom with children born out of wedlock.
❤
I never felt maternal and always feared being a mom given my traumatic childhood, losing my mom at age 12 and being a latch -key neglected preteen and teen. Our dad basically would leave me alone at age 12 years with my 11year old sis and 1 year old bro months at a time. I basically parented both my siblings, run the household and paid bills. The only thing our dad did was leave me a few hundred dollars every 2 to 3 months then he went away on "trips", until I learned that he lived with his secretary and her kids at another part of the city. As an older teen, sometimes I had to do odd jobs so my sis, bro and I wouldn't starve. Long story short, I never wanted to be a mom as an adult, coz I was already one as a kid and it was hard. Interestingly, I ended up having my very healthy, fit son at age 47 years. Luckily, his dad at 56 was also very active and involved in my son' s life.
Congratulations 🙂
Your father is a sorry excuse of a human being. Some men can be so worthless. They'll do the stupidest things for sex.
I hope your siblings appreciate your sacrifice and that you are enjoying parenthood the second time around. I thank you for being a good human being and doing what's right/hard even if it wasn't your responsibility. It makes us better and resilient, too, so I hope you feel some sense of peace in having lived your difficult childhood.
Unreal, all the best for you. Amazing story.
Shouldn't you be saying ( our sons) life??
Wow that's incredibly rough but glad to hear you were resilient despite your life circumstances 😮
I was around in the 1970s and when I was at school there was a "don't get pregnant" mantra - that was always the thing going forward into teenage and adult life - this terror of getting pregnant accidentally - and that connected to the broader message that the world had a "population explosion" and that the fewer kids any of us had the better. Best option was none at all - but, if you had to - replacement level at two was just about acceptable - replacing you and your husband or partner (well, in those days it was mostly husband) when you popped your clogs. So I remember thinking as I entered my childless mid-30s "all I've ever been told is how NOT to get pregnant" but no one told us how difficult getting pregnant might be if left too late. So Jordan Peterson might not have heard that part of the history - but it was there, only few remember it now.
Yeah, blame society! As if you don't have a mind of your own to decide for yourself.
I've honestly never heard the phrase "popped your clogs" 😂
THANK YOU! Nobody every talked to us about HOW TO actually get pregnant if you're not 17 anymore and highly fertile. Lol it's not just happening any time at the month, even if the timing is right, the chance of 20% success is the highest it can get most of the time. Trying for over a year now with hubby, no baby in sight and it sucks. 😢 it's no fun anymore to try every month like crazy only for Aunt Flo to show up right on time every month and you think to yourself WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, NATURE?!
My religious zealot mother spewed that rubbish as well.
22 years of education and in the last year of my PhD in STEM field, I realized I was missing a big time
My husband and I decided to have a child despite it being a very bad timing for me. But I realized the "right time" never seem to come. There is always something more to do, a paper more to publish, one more internship to go to, look for job post graduation, get the job and try to promote your rank as a newbie to get a fair salary, try harder because now you have even more responsibilities at hand in a senior role, etc, etc. I just figured I have to just draw the "stop" line somewhere and get back to my life. Now two months pregnant and I feel I just opened a new chapter in my life. I am scared, that is true. In my field, a few years away from market means you lose all your value, you turn into a useless old car. I have thousands of doubts about my future as a career woman, but one thing I never doubt; I am not gonna regret this. I just wish world was a bit kinder to women like me who decide to juggle the heck out of this seemingly "lose-lose" game.
Good luck. That is not an easy decision. I truly hope it works out for you ❤️
It's very commendable to take the route that to me, appears the more difficult one. You've done well, but every choice has a sacrifice.
You made the right decision. I had my first child at 35 and second at 37- they bring more joy and meaning to my life that I have never imagined was possible. I have experienced an unexpected renaissance in my midlife.
@@lucydoe1334 Glad it worked it out for you :)
I don't think there is a special brand of cruelty for women who prioritize children, it is just the reality of economics. Everyone wants to get the most productivity they can manage.
Men become 'disposable' and lose value in a workforce too. But because we can abuse our bodies for a longer period of time, it is different.
I'm 28 and I'm so tired already without even having kids. Having kids would literally destroy me.
Same 😅
yeah riding the cockcarussel must be exhausting
Having a child is the best thing you can have in the world.
@@duncanhewitt6557
I’d rather have my trips to Japan. 😋
It's not for everyone. But, think about the topic enough to the point where you know you won't regret your decision in the future
Have a baby? In this economy? Are they serious?
It’s always something. If you wait until everything is perfect, you will never have a child. My wife and I raised 8, some adopted and it was tough but worth it at least to us.
When the hell was life supposed to become easy? If you are not fulfilled by the happiness and job of parenthood, than god forbid you have children, but its not as impossible as you are emoting.
I’m fearful of pregnancy since my mom explained it to me when I was 6 (27 now).
The thought of having something growing inside me for 9 months, then having to be pushed out of a small cavity is insane. Then add the risks, the pregnancy symptoms etc. hell no.
Is it natural? Yes. Is it normal? Also yes.
Why would I want someone to experience that pain? It’s brutal.
Narcissist.
You have issues if you think of reproduction this way. You're just selfish. Now your society will fall as a result of you.
If you want a child but not be pregnant, you can have one via surrogacy. Seems a lot of female celebs are doing this now. If I had chosen to have kids I would've needed to do that because of injuries sustained in a car accident. But I decided not to have kids for several other reasons.
@@lvega5606 it’s the same thing for me. I don’t want anyone to experience it, it’s painful in my eyes. It’s okay if someone else wants it, but coming for me, not that much.
But I know there is the adoption route, that would make me feel better, even if most men don’t like adoption
@@ROForeverMan how
Its clear that human beings suck at BALANCE... Cultures constantly tip too far one way or too far the other way.
Look forward to seeing the full interview. Excellent visual and audio quality!
My g✌🏾🇳🇬
The societal momentum is hard to recognize before it’s to late.
@Ram Rod Its called "Sheit Testing" at the global level
That would require critical thought, which most people lack. That's why cultural institutions are so important, because people will mindlessly follow it
Its because we are only meant to be in a small community of 25-50 humans. That's when there is balance. Technology more so social media has flat out turned the scale upside down.
Many women don’t have children because of life circumstances not always by choice. I’m 32, housewife, married for two years. I always wanted children, but three months ago my husband got aggressive type of cancer and fighting for his life. I can’t even imagine ever starting all over again with someone else. I might end up childless because of that but I can’t always control everything.
I'm sorry for your difficulties. I appreciate you sharing this though. For the conversation, yours is a good example of a situation where a woman does not have children despite wanting to do so.
I do hope the best for you no matter what, and for what it is worth, you are still plenty young if you did happen across someone. As you are able, it is always worth pursuing the goal if you wish. Or, if even you were to meet someone after 40, or thereabouts, adoption is always a great option for couples who want children but consider their age to be a risk factor for conceiving. In today's time, a couple in their 40s are plenty young to raise children even if biology makes it difficult.
Regardless, I wish you all of the best!
I have an example like this in the family, stay strong and good luck.
True, it is circumstantial for some. But you're much better off delaying in order to give yourself , your potential spouse, and your potential child the best shot at a stable life.
It's really hard out there nowadays, especially for single moms. And no shade....one of my best friends is a single mom. But she is struggling bigtime.
Do you think you have it worse than your grandparents?
@@hamzamahmood9565
Really inappropriate question. 😖
Don't do it unless you are ready for any outcome. I did everything rught in pregnancy and it still went horribly wrong. I would NEVER have a child if I could go back in time and I absolutely never would have gotten married.
You regret having your child?
My 70yr old male friend told me he's thankful his daughter has the same life opportunities as his son.
But he's not realizing that each will value those opportunities differently. The son will value education, work, and income a lot higher than the daughter. Why? B/c with those things he's attractive to the opposite sex. For her, those things will get a pat on the back at best or the envy of her peers. He will be fulfilled, she will not be fulfilled. You're seeing this more and more with young women today. They're starting to see they were sold a false promise but they're realizing this too late...
@ChadiusMaximus196
You really max out on wrong assumptions assuming she will be unfulfilled.
His daughter is an educated professional and an athlete, as is her partner.
There's no false promises whatsoever.
The 70 year old is a male simp
I love this comment section because it has so many varying opinions.
People past 40’s with no kids & loving it.
People who had kids in 20’s loving it.
People who had kids later & regretting it
People who are unable to have kids and okay with it.
Guy who wants a family and kids but will likely never get chance due to not being wanted. Add that to the list.
And the 40s desperately wanted kids and devestated with her infertility person. Add that one, too.
There arw so many reason to be thankful
True. And they're all satisfied with their lives. There's a level of satisfaction with that.
@@PwerRanger01 I'm 34 and never been in a fulfilling relationship
I’m from an impoverished single parent household where I wasn’t valued and treated as a burden with frequent abuse. My focus in life has been on survival. Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous. If a man cannot commit to me, I’m not having children without the necessary support to do so. I’ve broken the cycle of abuse and poverty and remain happily single and childless. I do have pets though.
Most of time women don't have an issue dating unlike an average guy who doesn't even get looked at as potential even if a good man. As women have it so easy and have many options then it is the women at fault for chasing wrong men if can't find decent one.
" Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous." Look for different type of men and a different setting. I know so many guys my age that wanted exactly that in their 20s.
You seem like an extremely self aware, intelligent person. I think you will have a happier life knowing that you’ve made your choices so consciously, based on how well you know yourself. I think having another being to care for is an innate part of the human experience. However, there’s no reason you can’t offer that care and love to a pet, who will no doubt have an amazing life.
Before my husband and I met he had 2 children. I'm 35, no children, never wanted children. Now that I'm getting older, I want children and my husband doesn't want any. Haha
I'll be ur pet
There’s a thousand different reasons for this, but nobody seems to be mentioning rising costs. It’s expensive to have kids and you pretty need to put off buying a house to have one. More women/couples are choosing financial stability before having children.
This whole dichotomy of children v. career is ridiculous. This implication that all childfree (by choice) women are success-driven money hungry girlboss go getters is not helping.
One word....feminism.
@@kirstenrichards8558 Feminism is all about equal opportunity and personal choice, aka individual liberty.
I’m 33 and don’t have kids because I can’t afford it…my partner and I just had to downsize to basically living in one bedroom in a house that’s falling apart because we can’t afford rent anywhere else right now. And no, we don’t live in some big, expensive city. I can’t fathom having enough money to raise a child and provide a safe, clean home for them. I can’t even provide that for myself right now.
Absolutely. I had a miscarriage at 42, now at age 50 it's just never going to happen. I was never bothered about having kids really, but some women can't have any! Finding a decent guy to settle down with is almost impossible these days for many women, I don't mean because men don't want to settle down, I just mean there's almost zero men I'm actually attracted to in that way! I just haven't found anybody I want to be with. (And saying women can't have a career and children at the same time is just stupid really, plenty of women do this don't they?)
@@RuthRandoms Should not have watched so many shows with hot guys in it
I just turned 24 and see a lot of my High School classmates as Single Parents with one or even two children. I could not imagine how they can support themselves in this economy, especially having to divert most of their attention to take care of the baby.
exactly... one of my best friends is a single mom...she's in her late 40's but times are TOUGH for her. one of her kids is on college and is a total leech/spends so much unnecessarily. i feel for her!
@@EadsB7002 Leech 😂😂😂😂
That one of the main things that make if incredibly difficult. This economy. Its going to get worse. Having a newborn in this day and age is not a good idea.
Well you can ask them why they're simgle parents. It takes two people and two incomes in most cases in this economy in order to properly raise children. You're right, it's not fair for the child to have a single parent try to raise them all on their own, but investigate why they're single parents. I guarantee most of your friends had children out of wedlock, or have divorced their spouses over reconcilable shit. We need to reconstruct the family unit, but it doesn't start with the children. It starts with husbands and wives to form healthy marriages.
@@jacksonmills961 you're missing something there mate,in order to re establish marriage the way it's supposed to be , Religion has to take power again and dictate its laws and thus reconstruct marriage as God's wants it to be, unfortunately the west is anti religion and won't accept to have religion rulling,so people will just keep roaming as lustful animals and women will keep being sexually exploited and impregnated out of wed lock and be condemned to be single mothers for the rest of their lives.
I'm 36 and I will never have kids because I have already been worn out raising my mother and other siblings. Still am. I'm tired. Some of us just have fucked up lives. It's not fair but I guess I must accept that I will never have my chance on the "competence hietarchy". Dammit. That just sucks. 🙄
You're not alone, believe me. I didn't have the physical or emotional energy left for kids by the time I was grown, and possibly owing to the dysfunction of my family of origin, haven't had the urge to reproduce. Life's complex, and there are many ways of being a mother that don't involve giving birth. There will never be a shortage of orphans and neglected young people in this world - something my teaching job showed me. On the flip side of things, I 've seen so many women who've poured their everything in to their kids, only to be deserted by them, and are left feeling confused, hollow and so far out of touch with themselves that don't know what to do with their freedom. Peterson fails to factor any of that in.
If its any comfort, I will never have children either.
Never say never. God has blessed many women with children later in life. You may feel tired, but if you find the right husband he will share the burden with you and make it easier for you.
@@ccrow3355 Most people don’t believe in traditional marriages anymore. The divorce rate is astonishing. What happened to being bound to death by grace and love in God’s presence?
@@PenguinFire777 like I said, find the right husband
My story is more complicated as I unknowingly married an abusive man. When I divorced him, I have had major trust issues and can't take the leap again. When this happened, I chose the career over family. it was a mistake. I tell all younger women who are fixated on career that when you get ready to retire and you have no one to do things with and you have nothing to do, you realize it was a mistake. Don't do what I did.
Sounds more like a pleasant dream than a harsh reality.
I worked this out for myself. The ‘wanting it all’ of the 1980’s is actually having to do it all. I saw so many good, sensible women burnt out and thinking the problem was them. Cruel.
True. But society won’t notice this things that women go through.
Agree. If it’s between children and career, the later wins. A child is a huge commitment (when you care) and yet women are not compensated for this vital labour.
@@fi-train8961 that is a very sad way of looking at it. you care more about money than your own family glad your not my parent.
@@mike-pw8hi That is because your family will *die* if you don't have the money to feed them.
@@fi-train8961 ignoramus
As a young woman, I eventually had to ask myself the question: when I die what do I want to have, a family and husband who love me or a job that’s already replaced me? Money will go to the government if you don’t have kids to inherit. All your knowledge and best traits will die with you unless you have kids that you have raised to be responsible adults. A job title won’t love you back. I decided that I won’t ever chose a job or money over my family. I desperately want to have a loving family. I would like to have something to do outside my family that interests me, that I’m somewhat good at and benefits society at large. That would be the best life I can plan.
Edit: I didn't think I would have to say this because its obvious, but this is my opinion. I did not write this to convince anyone to be a stay at home mom, I wrote it because it's what I believe. I thought about this a lot, I used to think I needed a "career" or else I was lazy and a slave to a man. But life is not that simple, and motherhood is NOT oppression. It's a choice I make gladly, with full knowledge of what I am undertaking and what I am giving up. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my (future) kids more than any career. And once I am a mother, they will be my priority over myself. If you value a job more, then thats not my business nor do I care. It won't change my decision. After growing up in a pro feminist age and feeling ashamed of what I wanted, I no longer care what the main stream thinks about my desire for a family.
Problem is us men will not and not in increasing numbers accept women that age out and learn. We won't give our Prime based off what women find attractive to take care of and provide for women that squandered theirs. We aren't virgin or nothing, well some are, but we want your fertile prime or its not worth the risks.
You hit the absolute nail on the head. The funny thing is that all these women are prioritizing their education and career so they can be enslaved to an employer who will throw them away when they loose their value, due to age or other causes. I truly hope that these women spend the end of their lives childless and alone, so it can serve as a message to the rest of society that utilitarianism is nonsense. All your degrees, investments, and property is worthless. Your employer will throw you away in a heartbeat. Family is everything.
As another young women working in a very technical field I share your sentiment. My career is nothing more than a means for creating a stable environment, and if I someday have children, if it is in there best interest, I will be walking away from it.
@THE ZOLDICS yes. How the hell did you read what I said and take the exact opposite of what I said as my intent? That's what I said. Women want our Prime and young men are walking away because it's a raw deal.
@@mosesking2923 that's kinda harsh on women, but there is going to need to be a moment where something is understood more widely by them yeah.
So grateful for my child that I had at 24. Thirty years later he is the reason for my success. Inspired to do better and do more because of him.
Here in Mexico women have children and the most majority don’t leave work, they still manage but, at full time. What I see is that a lot of 30+ of my generation are choosing not having children are more and more. Besides, the financial and real state price of everything is a big problem. Why would anyone bring a child to the world if you can’t have them all they need, time, space, etc? I think not having children in this economy could be an act of responsibility. Other excuses such as: “you are not alone when you are old” are false. Life is so unpredictable. You can born a child with a rare disease that’ll die young. You can born someone that, despite all your efforts, chooses to not be part of your life. In that case, you’ll have to have a bunch of kids to ensure that statement. I won’t say it doesn’t help. In my house we are 4 brothers and sisters and that has been a lot of help in times of need, but times change…
Gen X here. We were all told by our parents to wait until our 30s to have children. Society shifted and wanted our generation to experience a bit more life, become more financially secure, and mature enough to have that kind of responsibility. Now Society wants to reverse it for the next generation?!! However, the next generation faces never owning a house. Prior to this a family could be raised on one income and own a decent house.
I can totally understand why having children is becoming less achievable.
Don't think to much about material goods. There will always will be a solution, especially as people are dumping perfectly fine goods for nothing as second hand goods. The most important and beautiful things don't cost money: loving parents, time spend outside in the woods etc.
@@schulze6758there will always be rich people throwing away perfectly fine things. That doesn't mean a poor family can afford them, even thrifting, and the hours that costs to find useful stuff before the flippers do. Time outside in the woods is free, until you have to purchase the woods or land, or spend the time you dont have, while working to keep up payments on a shelter you'll never own. This really reads very out of touch with anyone being able to afford kids. but it shows you 'dont think too much about material goods' and don't know why anyone struggles
@@schulze6758 Oh yeah, because there are so many great jobs and affordable homes to purchase near "the woods" you'll send your children to play in...
You got! I told my daughter that you really can’t trust men to be providers or protectors anymore and men are just losing their minds. Instead of acknowledging that there is a problem with men wanting 50/50 now is when we look at alllll the responsibilities a woman must endure in order to be wifed plus having to work just as hard, marriage seems unfair for women. Now men use shaming tactics to force women to chase them. Makes no sense. I have 2 kids was married and stilll lived as a single mother. I would have never signed up for this shit if I knew that my husband was just going to find someone younger and dumber than me.🤷🏽♀️ oh well you live and learn the lies.
@@schulze6758 second hand furniture and clothing can NOT solve the problem of average house these days costing TEN average annual incomes, while 30 years ago it was only THREE.
Now if more kids could have fathers, than we would have something.
Well said. I know Jordan is emphasizing the positives of having a kid here (sorta) but it’s such a huge risk for a variety of reasons, and one is you can easily end up a single mother and if you don’t have that established career, you’re going to be fucked. Especially if you’re in the US where we tend to demonize single motherhood
@@GavinMichaels The us tends to "demonize" single motherhoods?!?!
are you out of your mind? the us is probably one of the places that pushes for single motherhood the most, saying things like "you don't need a man", "women can do it all" and other bullocks.
@@GavinMichaels Exactly. Well stated.
@@dude2410 Compared to other developed countries, we do demonize them. Look at other developed countries and the benefits they have for single mothers, and compare it to the US. The fact that "welfare mom" is an insult for many conservatives is telling. It doesn't mean we have ZERO programs to help single motherhood, but it means we've got a long way to go. And it makes single motherhood such a huge risk in the US. Also I think you're taking the phrase "you don't need a man" to mean that women don't need a partner in marriage, where (at least when I've seen it used) it's in reference to women having self-respect without feeling like they need to be hitched (without a child that is) when the norm for so long was if you're not married by such and such age, you're a failure, embarrassment etc.
That's the REAL problem. Well said.
I never wanted a career and only really wanted to be married and have kids. However, I only wanted kids if I were married. Since marriage never happened because I got tired of dating broke, bipolar college dropouts. I never had kids but developed a career as a paralegal. At least I focused on having a loving relationship with my niece, nephews and great nieces and nephews. I finally think it is too late for me to get married now that I am 59. Oh well, I'd rather fail at getting married than fail at being married.
That’s precisely why NOT EVERY woman can be married and having kids in a society. There’re plenty of addicts, abusers, men who don’t want family and are not paternal, cheaters, commitment phobes, etc. Before most women were married because they had to endure the abusive husbands or bad fathers anyway.
Maybe my parents had too good of a marriage because I really want a great man like my dad. He was 1 in a million.
Also, once I updated my dating profile to say that I'm a breast cancer survivor, all interest stopped. Oh, well. I was just trying to be honest on my dating profile and now I have nothing to show for it.
as SWM 68 looking back, I'm glad I never married or had kids, I grew up with 5 siblings, money was tight, and I promised myself I would never endure the chaos of family life again, at 20 I got hit with ulcerative colits, this ruined all my life plans, I became a librarian, had to retire at 56 due to colon cancer, lucky to be alive now, there was never enough money, time, or health for me to create a family --I'm where I'm supposed to be be now
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
I’m 31 and feel quite pressured to have a child. People around me say “there will be no one for you when you’re old” and “just get a baby, even if you’re alone”. Yes, if I had a supportive and loving partner with whom I could raise a new human being, I probably would get children. But saying to get a child just for my own self is extremely selfish. 😢
Too old tbh dont bring in a deformed kid for selfish reasons
So not having a child hey. Will you give 40% of your income to families in poverty who are having children then?
Or will you enjoy your child free, responsibilty free lifestyle to buy all the lavish crap you have all the freedoms to buy?
Ive always taught the same. I would love to have a child, I already attempted once with a not so quality choice partner...Sadly it didnt make it. I was very excited to have someone of my own, someone that would love and need me. And I can love them back, but i always go back to your last sentence, thats extremely selfish of me. Not only that, its difficult to find someone that isn't so selfish or self centered to have a family. Times have changed and we should just accept it. There is no love or empathy, just the next day
@@glenbenton4855 I believe that there definitely is love ❤️ just start spreading it around you and it will “infect” others 😃
@@agathles You know, I don't want to be that "but i do" person but man, lot of people just take advantage of that and abuse you. Its the tale as old time but, I am tired of suffering due to my good heart and the ill intent of others just looking to see how they can step on you. Not to be negative
I'm one of the women who have made it to 50 (I'm 54) and never had children. I'm ok with it. I'm naturally a happy person and one of those over achievers you describe. For context, I'm divorced. I have 3 adult step children who I love, great job and lots of friends and hobbies. We do exist.
Not only do you exist, you are also doing great. There is no formula to life and we should stop searching for one.
Same here, I'll be 40 next year and I'm still deciding if I want a puppy.
Well step children are a way to have children so, God bless
Step children are still technically your children lol
9:32
Who can find an equal/quality partner by the time they are 29 if men are the same age or “5yrs older as is the preference for most females” according to JP 😂 I have two NPD parents and zero desire for children. I am sure my upbringing has something to do with it. But I also love living as a nomadic creative and musician and doing performances all over the world meeting people learning languages gives me so much joy and passion I don’t think I need anything else and if I had a kid or even partner I may have to give all that up. Some of us have goals and passions in life not just a “job” to live for. 37 and do NOT envy the lives of all my friends. I’m sure many envy me. There is so much you can do in life to give meaning but having kids is just the default if you aren’t smart enough to figure anything else out.
I’d say it’s only the “default” because it’s the traditional way that men have controlled women in the past. Basically, no one really cares that I don’t want kids because I’m a man and they don’t view children as a way to control me. Women on the other hand? Yeah, you know it better than I ever could.
Well okay. ^^ At least one self-centered person out of the gen-pool. However, I still wish you all the best and joy from your livestyle.
Im 33 and am almost 7 months pregnant. For me the timing was perfect. I got to experience life and traveling in my 20s. My career is solid. I took the time to find a worthwhile husband. His career is also solid. We got to enjoy each other for most of our 20s, then build our wealth, then have a child. I cant imagine having a child before 30 honestly. For me, between 30 and 35 seems to be the sweet spot - a good compromise between personal and physical factors.
I dont think having a child at 19 (when youre basically still a child) is necessary by any means. This doesnt mean your career is the most important thing, but it does suggest the following if you wait: 1) youll be able to financially support that child if you make a good income, or in the case of a divorce and 2) you'll likely have more financial independence, which again, is very important if you get divorced, your partner gets hurt, laid off, etc. This is real life. Life is expensive and so are children.
Disagree, my kids are teenagers and I’m only 36, I love being young still as my kids get older.
You say you got to experience life, tell me what positive impact that experience has had or will have on your marriage and husband
@@Cremesure12 good for you. I couldn't do it.
@@dabby_sam where do I start? My husband and I got to know each other, travel, and experience things that you just can't conveniently experience when you have kids. It has made our marriage richer, deeper, and we have wonderful memories that we'll cherish for a lifetime. We can pass the memories and wisdom onto our son when he's born. And I'll highly encourage him to do the same when he's an adult. While some of my peers were stuck home, we went abroad, went to conferences, festivals, retreats, sporting events, concerts, met people from around the world, learned more about each other. We actually got to plan having a child, which in itself seems rare these days. We chose to wait until we were financially stable, all of our debt is paid off, bought a house, have 10s of thousands in savings, 100s of thousands in investments, the means to invest in our son's future college education, and can financially support any endeavor our son wants to try, whether that be sports, learning an instrument, joining the robotics team, etc. We're also renovating our home next year and traveling abroad more. If we had children at say 23, we wouldn't be able to facilitate that.
Your reasoning is not fair. You go to the other extreme, when you talk about having a child at 19. For indeed, most are still girls at that age. But they mature fast and in their early twenties are true adults. My sister developed endometriosis. She always knew she wanted to have children, but she also first wanted to be financially safe. She got lucky and still was able to have children. But not all women are that lucky.
That said: congratulations on your pregnancy :)
I’ve never wanted children as a child. I’m 39, don’t have kids, and gladly don’t want kids. Having a family, children isn’t for everyone. Stay blessed
Exactly! THIS is what's hapening, people are CHOOSING not to reproduce. Period.
@@clublulu399 is there any science to prove that or ...?
@@clublulu399 No, you should get out and talk to people more. You're making a silly assumption. Women are not hardwired to have kids, they just can if they want to. It's an option. Some of us don't want anything to do with it. Once you have kids, you can certainly understand the downside to it.
I've never wanted kids (I'm 38). I have a huge, dysfunctional family, and while I strive for and maintain a healthy lifestyle it's never been a desire for me. I've been with my husband 24 years, and we both love children but we are more than content loving our many neices and nephews. Don't let people make you feel like something is wrong with you. If it's in God's plan for you to have children, you will have children.
@@LapisPebble Humans are not bacteria whose only purpose is to reproduce mindlessly, many great minds of history died without children and they are still remembered, while the average family and parent is unremarkable.
What is wrong with not having children?
Nothing. 😎
It potentially suggests a failing society.
@@whenpigsfly8178
Not even close. A successful society would include people who want kids and don’t want kids. There are places for all. 😋
@@LucareonVee No, if not enough people have children the population ages and collapses
@@AlexanderLittlebears
With 8 billion people on the planet, that would be a good thing. 😋
I totally understand what he is saysing. I work @ nursing homes & the childless or forgotten, if they don’t have their mental facuties about they are lost, the only thing that saves them is money. No one comes to see them, no happy holidays or even a birthday balloon, unless the staff buys it for them.
😅 I took care of old people for 6 years. The kids of these old people barely came to see them.
@@historiqueafricaine1225 Exactly why people should be ok with being alone. Family members move away, die or focus on their own lives. If people are having kids just so they won't be alone when they're old. Than they're in for a big surprise when that time comes.
Not all old people were great parents. My in laws made it clear they had no intention of “babysitting my children” because they “had other things they planned to do with their retirement.” My MIL’s exact words, (a feminist) after inviting me to “tea” shortly after I was married. Do you think I have any interest in caring for them in old age? Though I have. And I am angry that I did so much.
My MIL is still living, and I will visit her in the home, but if her own kids won’t-and they won’t!-it will not weigh on me. Goodness!! Our society is broken.
I'm a woman quite happily working an average paid job and living childfree. My life is very peaceful and quiet. I spend a lot of time outdoors and at the gym. It's just me and my dog and that's how I like it. I have no regrets. I'm 34 and I can honestly say I'm in my happy place 😌
Well wish you the best but come let us know how it is at 45 lol
@@WideHarryCock It's not always what you believe. At 45, I was able to feel whole again after an unimaginable divorce. I had to rebuild my life from scratch after she took everything. For those that can make it work, I salute you. For those that say - thanks, but no thanks - I salute you, too.
Bingo. Me too. Every year that goes by without kids I’m happier. 43 now. Living the dream.
@@WideHarryCock lol I’m nearly 44 and literally happier than I was at 34, when I first decided I didn’t want kids. These guys are totally invested in proving that women aren’t happy without kids…so weird. And I could care less about a career-life isn’t about that either. Always March to the beat of your own drummer!! ✨✨✨🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Let's see how you're doing in 20 years and then 20 more after that.
I never married or had children and I am 52. I knew from a really young age I didn’t want any. I came from a very violent neglectful environment and didn’t want to make the mistakes my mother made. Having overcome deep loneliness in my 30’s and 40’s I have no regrets. I thought at one point I would like to marry or have a partner but I’ve spent so much time alone that I probably couldn’t do it and I feel that my time has come and gone. I still would like to regain control over my health - I regained weight that I had lost - and be happy and enjoy the life I have so be it alone. Not everyone has the opportunity in this life to be partnered and that’s ok. I’m at peace.
Wishing you the best!
At what point did either of them stop the video and say "Kelly Smith should have [insert your trigger]"? Never. This isn't about you. Stop being emotional. He's speaking in general.
@@johnnyBrwn of course he's speaking in general, but anyone can comment on the video and share their perspective/experience. Following your line of thinking, this person's comment isn't about you, so why would you reply to it? Also, how is this person being emotional? You seem to be way more triggered than them.
@@aleksandrasuso2043 Nice recursion trick, I refute her assertion underscoring how she's making a general statement self referential then you steal that and apply to me but your logic is flawed. I didn't refute her by using myself as a case study as she did. She's emotional because she took Peterson's claim personally, hence her self- reference.
@@johnnyBrwn Mansplaining at its finest. I still don't get what's wrong with sharing a personal story on a UA-cam video, considering that the person never even undermined any of the points made by Peterson.
Over and out.
It’s a real challenge in the world today to build a family.
Finding a good man that hasn’t been destroyed by a narcissist,
Finding a steady income to support a family with,
Finding a safe place to raise a family in,
and finally finding all that in the shrinking window that is fertility nowadays.
I’m not saying it can’t be done but this world is decreasing the chances everyday.
I'm honestly sick of this argument. Do you think your parents had it easier? Or their parents? The more you go back in time the worse things were, yet still people were having children, and many too. Hell, my grandparents had 6 children starting from when they were younger than 20. During a time of war and unrest. I'm not american.
Everybody is waiting for the "perfect time" to have kids and I have no idea where this notion came from. Ask every parent and they will tell you, no time is ever perfect and you're never ready. It's just something you do and hope for the best. Hopeful risktaking has really declined in modern culture, everyone's always putting things on hold to wait for the perfect opportunity, perfect person, etc. Jeez...
@@dead7781
My ancestors weren’t facing potential extinction due to global warming. 😋
@@LucareonVee No but they where facing things arguably worse. World Wars, nuclear fallouts, economic chaos, famine, disease without any modern medicine, etc.
And honestly, your solution to global warming is to have less/no children? How is that gonna solve anything? This just goes to show how easily people today just want to quit. Instead of thinking of solutions on how to solve these problems, like so many bright minds are, most just want to give up. "Screw it, I'm not gonna have children".
But nobody is quitting because it's the "right thing to do", it's all just an excuse to be selfish and lazy. Every person I've met who speaks like this spends most of their time working meaningless jobs, drinking themselves to death on their free time, play video games the whole day, and just being incredibly useless. "There's no point in being productive if the world is ending. Let's just be nihilistic and give up on humanity. Let's just engage in hedonism, even if it's making us miserable deep down". Give me a break...
@@LucareonVee😅 tell em
@@LucareonVee they were facing invading armies which is an actual threat.
Long, but necessary:
The issue isn't women viewing children as burdens. The issue is that, thanks to being highly educated (in my case, I'm on my way to finishing a PhD in Clinical Psychology), we KNOW that raising children requires a village and we MUST give our 100% to raising said children. The problem is that EVERYBODY in the village is working full time jobs to survive. Moms, dad, uncles, aunts, grandparents, siblings, etc. Puerto Rico (where I'm from) has some of the highest rates of poverty in the totality of the United States (both colonies and States). As people who come from poor and working class families, why would my fiancé and I continue the cycle of impoverishment, when we know all it takes (and it takes stable incomes, parents who are both present and invest time consistently in their children, etc.) to guarantee quality of life along with healthy, happy development for children?
Let's not gloss over significant issues here, Jordan. The issue of mass childlessness in women and men my age (in our 20s) is largely due to economic factors (which you conveniently ignored throughout the totality of this video). This coupled with the fact that we know that raising children and priming them for success (quality education, large amounts of time invested in making sure they grow up with good moral values, making sure they're happy and safe, etc.) requires at least two present and involved parental figures. How is that achieved when, to make ends meet as well as take care of the grandparents, both parents have to work?
My fiancé (who I've known since we were 12 and been with since we were 14, exclusively) is wrapping up his PhD in Neuroscience at an Ivy League. We're not having children yet because that would be absolutely fucking bonkers. We have to finish studying. We have to have stable jobs. Most importantly, we BOTH have to be 100% present in raising the children (responsible and involved parenting). I know so many other monogamous women who have been with their boyfriends/fiancés consistently and exclusively for years, and who are in the same boat as me.
By the way, I know it wasn't discussed in this video, but I also find it laughable that people who complain about young people not reproducing (in my circles, at least), are the same people who criticize impoverished people for having children when they can't afford them and don't consider all the necessary conditions to ensure healthy and happy development (along with priming them for economic success and good moral values).
“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.” - Mark Twain
I was force fed that i must want a carrer and that raising kids was a lowly position. I was told that if my ambition was to be a mom and raise kids that was a lazy, lowly, stupid choice.
Beautiful quote. The question then becomes how do you as an individual define your own ambitions and your own greatness? From a very young age, I was discouraged from dating, discouraged from getting married, discouraged from having children... by people who genuinely cared about me and thought they were helping me. I love to work and I don't think I could ever be fully satisfied staying home and raising a family, but many many women are and I definitely think it is a worthwhile aim to pursue if you can be fulfilled by it. But by the same token, I don't think I could ever be 100% satisfied with my life if I pursued only my career and never had a family. My marriage is the most fundamentally important thing in my life, and now that I am pregnant with my first child, I already feel my priorities shifting. I cannot imagine ever intentionally choosing not to have this child or this family, even if it meant giving up my career. Luckily, I found a man to be my partner in life who wants nothing more in the world than to stay home and care for our children so I can continue to pursue my higher education and my career.
the problem is a good chunk of really successful people were REALLY lucky. And then they have the nerve to say, just do your best and you'll be successful too, when they themselves just got there by chance.
@@jebes909090 yap, that's true. Having the right ideas and being smart you can still get stuck in a lot of places
i really like that quote. it's short, yet so clear and important
Please check out how many childfree by choice women are happy - there are plenty of women who are 50 and do not regret at all not having a family.
Define "happy"
@@RuthEdelstein satisfied, content, without losing identity,sleep and with a fulfilling life full of friends and no depression, ever. = Happy
Thats ironic because stats actually show that that age group of childless women is the least happy out of any other demographic at all.
@@lucilla97 keep telling yourself that then. Are these the women who are so “happy” with their decision that they just have to go write articles about how happy they are? Doesnt seem like something an actual content person would do
@@xhaanfilms2479 where are all those articles written by childless women? I had never seen any
Besides professional success of women, I think we should also mention the role men play in all this. If we as professional women are alone, is also because we do not find appropriate partners to build a life with and who value more superficial relationships and the "influencer"-type of women (sorry for the stereotype but is all interconnected). It is also the impact of relationships nowadays on human beings and their capacity to build a family. I'm in my early thirties and have never felt safe enough with a man to build a family (even though I would like to). Every experience is more traumatising and deceives me even more. Not sure if it's a good idea to bring a kid to the world in such circumstances.
You can't say you are successful if you don't procreate. According to Nature, weak genes don't survive.
You never found the right guy because you have been looking in all the wrong places. He got married in his early 20s. Most 30 year old men not married are honestly the one's you don't want. Pretty sure you are living a self fulfilling prophecy. I hope you find whatever makes you happy in life.
It's a 2 way street. I've yet to be with a woman that I would trust to actually be a decent mother. Most women are mentally, physically and sexually abusive. Not to mention most I met would desire to pawn their kids off on public schools while they pretend to be a worker. While often being lazy and counter productive at work.
I gave up on having kids with women who want to be fathers.
Nothing wrong with not wanting children. Some people know they aren't responsible enough, or they have other reasons. Maybe something runs in their family that they don't want to chance passing along. Whatever the reason, that's fine.
So then don't complain about why your country is taking too many immigrants from different cultural backgrounds who don't want to assimilate.😂
@@johanandersson5875 I don't
Maybe it depends on the person, but I got pregnant at 29 and had my first child at 30 - I have no regrets. I didn't have a bad childhood, but I definitely had a few creases to iron out on my personality before becoming a mother. I wasn't ready in my 20s, and would have resented having a child of I had become a mother at 22 or something. So waiting until my late 20s/early 30s was the right thing for me.
Early and even mid 30s is a reasonable age to have children. My mom had my sis at 31 and me at 33. My grandmother had my aunt at 38 and my dad at 42.
Feminists try to drive this narrative that women don't need to think about their age and they can freeze their eggs, and they have plenty of time, etc. It's lunacy. There's definitely a time limit. On the flip side, it's frustrating how the more conservative types tend to drive the narrative that women need to have their children in their 20s. Its as though they think we hit menopause at 30. Both mentalities are flawed.
@@JessG_20 While you are correct, it's also true that men shouldn't have kids after their 40s. Testosterone plummets and autism becomes more prevalent.
@@VintageCardinal Agree, that's something else I was thinking but didn't mention.
@@JessG_20 It does seem like the narrative is either/or.
I had 3 kids in my 20's while working in aviation. And then I had twins at 40 years old last year. I've got to say, in my 40's, I realized I was too old and too tired to get through the pregnancy while holding down a job and definitely too old and tired to take care of twins and hold down a job. Eff that noise. But in my 20's I had a supportive husband and the energy and drive to hold down a job and be a mother. We shared parenting duties and I think we made a great decision going ahead and having kids in our 20's. 18 years of marriage and he's still wonderful.
The thing is, I did college but never saw my job as a career. I looked for a field that would provide well for me. I was in a male dominated field and didn't try to compete for promotions. I was never interested in working myself to death. I rejected overtime and was told I'm not a team player. I'd rather be a good parent than a team player.
@@runningfromabear8354 I can imagine having twins at 40 would be insanely hard. I was kinda shocked when I found out my grandma had my dad at 42. I've always felt the ideal age for me personally would have been 28 to 33..Sadly, I'm now 35 😂
I also notice that something else people don't take into account are the obesity rates when they're discussing women's ticking clock. Being overweight will usually affect fertility. From what I've read, overweight women tend to have much more difficulty getting pregnant. One of my older coworkers was telling me a couple years back that I need to "hurry up" because her own daughter who is 1 year older than I, started having issues with fertility around age 31 or 32. Well her daughter, who I've met, looks to be nearly 300 lbs 😐
My God... if women didn't want to have babies before watching this video they are going to be less likely to now. Shiver.
having Kids are waste of time and energy, do job till your 70 and then have fun with retirement 👍
. I’m 32 and my mother had me at 40. She tells me I have plenty of time to conceive. I am not sure I want a child but I also wouldn’t put it completely off the table with my partner. I feel like he’s putting the fear of god into me when I watch these videos.
@@tessamarie8698 What you said makes no sense, why would women be paid more just because they're women?
Yep. The more I watched this type of content the more I become certain children are not for me. I’ve always been vigilant about birth control and looking into being sterilised. Would love to hear his wife’s perspective. Its easy to want kids when you don’t get pregnant, give birth or have to give up your career.
@@fi-train8961well the overarching point of these videos is that eventually the shiny career kinda loses it's novelty and appeal. And when that inevitably happens for some women, they find it's too late to turn back the clock. It's not pleasant and I don't wish that on anybody. Some ppl truly aren't for the parenting life. Either way, know yourself.
I am a woman lucky enough to have three kids, the first I had at 38.
I was a successful counselor for CEOs before leaving everything in favour of marriage and family.
Women should do whatever they want with their lives, but they should do so with eyes wide open to the risks and the price they'd pay in each path they take.
I never regretted becoming a housewife, and I was soooo lucky to have healthy children at my older age.
If I knew the truth revealed here, it would have saved me some difficulties. Having a child at old age is very hard, abd and I don't know if I'd be fortunate enough to meet my grandkids.
Whether people decide to stay child-free or become parents,as any choice in their lives ,is their and only their business. There are also different factors to consider in the matter: 1. Financial security,2. Emotional intelligence and maturity,3. Health and mental issues,4. Your support system ,5. What type of romantic partner you have and if you are single or not ,6. The environment,7. The ability to be responsible for another human being,8. Type of education and career you have,9. If you and/or your partner have problems with fertility or not,to name a few . It's true that having children is in the name of continuing the human race ,but it's wrong and unnecessary to force everyone to be parents. It's situational and delicate topic and it depends not only in the choices you make for yourself but also what kind of luck you have and the circumstances - you can't have control (at least not full) over the result. Everyone has their own path and battle
I honestly just think that it is a combination of life being less and less affordable and the fact that more and more people are coming to the realization that having and raising kids isn't the end all be all goal of a fulfilling life.
It never was. People just had no birth control, hence the high number of pregnancies.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 so ban birth control
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 exactly people act like everyone wanted to have tons of kids before but there was barely any choice for most people given their was no birth control
@@fi-train8961 and you forget that a lotta people just go along to get along. peer pressured to have a family.
Well what happens when there isn't enough young people to support the retired population?
My mother never wanted children but had them because of society. I’ve been in therapy for 10 plus years, to deal with my CPTSD because of the abuse I suffered as my mother resented my very existence. Please don’t have kids unless you want them. I know the pain of being a child of a woman who had a kid just to have a kid for society sake.
This should be pinned. Many women did NOT want children. They had them because it was the next “step” . Then the child(ren) are abandoned emotionally and mentally. Then men pretend to not know about the neglect because they aren’t being a present parent either. I commend you for taking the necessary steps to ensure your own well being 💜✨
amen
Exactly!!! People should only have kids if they really want to have kids and can provide for their kids❤
Same unfortunately x
Would you rather have never existed?
it is not a harsh reality. it is very good looking reality. we dont want to do unpaid work anymore. and we also dont want to work for idiots who sleep all day and then complaints. no thanks to that anymore.
I don't see any reason why I should get pregnant but I see many reasons why not. And I'm very disgusted by pregnancy and child birth. I don't understand how any women wants that. I am and will be one of those women but I'm not going to be unhappy about that. Beside a fact that I'm not single.
This is all a fair discussion, but why is it always about why WOMEN are childless at 30? Why are we not asking why men are childless as well?
I'm in my 20s and still single. I really see a lack of men willing to grow up and be a father just as much as I see women who don't want to have kids. I'm not going to raise kids without a father- not just a dad, but a true paternal figure.
@get busy child
You have no answers
Just propaganda
It’s a super easy answer. Men can simply wait longer. Women lose 90% of their eggs by 30. 35 is geriatric pregnancy. Men aren’t under this time crunch from a biology perspective. This is the science, like it or not.
Women peak in the dating marketplace in their early to mid 20’s. Men like women with less baggage, better attitudes, no kids in tow, and that still have all their youth, beauty, and fertility. Like it or not this is reality.
Men are judged more on money, status, experience, maturity. Looks matter but a man’s looks don’t fade nearly as fast as women’s do (on average). Men as a result peak in their mid 30’s.
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 1. Sperm quality also declines over time
2. Statistically men die sooner
3. As a woman in my early twenties, I don't want to date 30-something dudes
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 You don't have to be so aggressive with your wording but what you say is true.
@@epicwoad8999 we need to stop tiptoeing around these issues. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth, even if I don’t like their tone, than lie to my face and mislead me. Things aren’t good right now between men and women, the data proves it. Shooting the messenger is a bad look.
I am 58 now but had my first child at 33, second at 38. I didn’t get the message that my career was the most important thing. It was more that “you better have a way of supporting yourself in case something happens to your husband, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed”. The economy was very rough for people my age and we ended up slacking and then grad school until things got better. Which they did. But the other internal urgency was that I wanted to make sure I had stability in my life before Bringing kids into the world. Finally, it was vitally important to me to have children and practice selflessness to raise them. Have to say it was not about patriarchy.
Adding: just because you’re a woman does not make you a natural for mothering. Some of us logical women have to work up to it .
can you please tell some advice to have kids at 38. Did you take vitamins or just live and let nature do the job or went under special care to get pregnant quickly?
@@alejandrarios4290 nothing special really. Think I had to lose some weight because we tried the year before without success. So, lost maybe 20 lb and then did the usual procreative sex. Lol
@@alejandrarios4290 every doctor tells you to just have regular sex. apparently regular sex every week for two years increases your chances by around 90%
You sound very smart and cautious :)
@@leedlbagginshield8492 thanks - you would be right about that. A lot of women my age delayed children. We all had to raise ourselves and didn’t want to do that to the next generation
As a 40 years old woman- I feel incredibly lucky to never have had children, never having to go through pregnancy, to be able to move out from a country where women are treated as commodities, and still be able to pursue my career goals like a man without children (ie, my husband) does. Why would I give that up for a short company of 12 years, when I would 'lose' the child at 12 and they would not be around when I am old, like I see the children of my patients do? We learn from cautionary tales. There's plenty of people to give me company when I want it and they will still be here when I pay them to clean up after myself when I get old. I miss nothing.
😎🍻
I want to have children but I am not lucky to meet a valuable and trustworthy men. All my friends are divorced, some twice. I don’t think it’s reasonable to have child for the sake of having it for myself and raise it alone. On the other hand I was dating some men, all of them were not a father material. Either addicts, completely lazy to the point where all days 25/7 are spend in bed eating and playing video games, or narcissistic and abusive men. Plus mommy’s boys. None of this is can be fixed by me loving any of them. I literally can’t meet a hard working, dedicated man with a moral compass! I don’t want to say all men are the same but every single one I met was a disaster! What am I supposed to do? I was doing masters , professing my career but is that a bad thing? I just didn’t want to waste my time and be a valuable partner and interesting person! But I do and I did all I can do to meet someone! I just want someone at the same level as me and I really don’t need a 6 foot or super fit body type 😢😢😢😢 I am heartbroken 💔 because I feel trapped and I have no one to support me. It’s hard nobody wants a life like this 😢
Peterson's argument, being that "women are encouraged to value their careers", only represents one piece of a complex puzzle. To understand the decline of motherhood, we must also acknowledge the current state of manhood. Based on my own home environment and upbringing, I can clearly understand why a woman would ensure their career is established before entering marriage or motherhood. For women, this decision can be a safety measure rather than a "self-boasting, self-centered" action. I believe that women, including myself, tend to equip themselves with knowledge, skills and resources in order to withstand the possibilities of divorce, domestic violence, father absence, insufficient spousal support... Unfortunately, in my experience, women oftentimes prioritize financial and educational independence over early motherhood due to the possible unpredicatbility of men.
Exactly
Don't forget that this isn't some lie that women need to focus on their careers vs family life. It is unfortunate that we even HAVE to choose. But often we DO because men are unwilling to sacrifice their careers for their family. The burden falls on women. When I heard him say men pull 80 hours week...I mean they better be single. Because if they are married with children and they can do that...then someone else sacrificed for their career. I'm not selling my life to another person who is unwilling to do the same. Men man...take some fucking responsibility for how you don't have this question posed to you at all. This is such a women's question...why is it 100% on us to make this choice. Men just get to have both at even LATER ages...society looks at men at 30 as babies but women as washed up. SMH
It depends but yeah its a good point. I also think we have become way to obsessed with money and materialism in the west which has become an idol for us.
@@NomadZeroOne Very true.
Perfectly out. Thank you
This is a beautifully shot interview. Great attention to detail, Chris. You're killing it.
Nice quality but the close up is awful
agreed
Location is nice, could be better exposed I think.
seriously, the lighting, staging, it looks better than anything you'd see on tv. impressive!
You're a legend
No. Since I was 18, people told me I should have children and I won't probably make a career or be happy with it. Here I am now, I have a happy career and no children. It's not because someone told me, but because it makes me happy. What's so difficult to understand about that?
It’s not hard to understand in general. It’s only hard to understand in the minds of pronatalists. They see life in black and white terms. Be proud that you’re living the life you wanted. 😎
I don't think its all about "the patriarchy" or "career women". Women often need to take responsibility for BOTH work and childcare these days and there is the possibility of ending up divorced and a single mom. And there are a lot of mental health struggles. And there are many birth control options. It's reasonable to seriously reconsider having children if you don't feel you can handle providing for and raising them. Alternatively, if someone is having doubts about their ability but really really desires children, seeking to improve their health and situation is also a reasonable path of action.
I'm a woman that never wanted kids. Just never had the interest. I'm 43 now and still don't have the interest. So I guess I'm the weird one here.
All hail feminism. Never have children. We defeat men and the patriarchy together. Never let a man run you. Lots of love from russia
Same. I'm 45, never want to get married or have children. To each their own. Get asked a lot if I'm married or have kids... when I reply "no" that usually ends the conversation, which is pretty sad. As if that's all women know what to talk about with one another. 🤨
Does Jordan Peterson ask fatherless men in their late 20's and 30 the same question? Does he ask single men who are childless at 50 if they are truly happy?
I hope so. Theyw ould happily say how they shouldn't have kids. Antinatalism for the win.
Men can still have children at that age it's very hard for women to. It's not the same, once women make the decision there is no going back.It's a trade off for both sexes. The lie is it's an option later.He's speaking from personal experience and observation.
@@thaneknight so women in the late 20s and 30s can't have children? Maybe this is an American thing. My mom had 3 healthy kids between 34-40. She was too fertile and prayed to God not to have more.
@@holyempressw8531I'm very happy to hear your mother had three successful pregnancies later in life. If you choose not to have children and change your mind when you're older;it reduces the chances of having children.It's not personal no one is speaking in absolutes. It's not a "cant" only a probably not.Male fertility also drops past a certain age these are just realities.
Of course not
You guys might want to look into dropping male fertility rates as well. Scientists studying the decrease in male fertility believe by either 2030 or 2040, 50% of all men will be completely infertile, they think it's due to microplastics but they are still trying to figure out for sure if that's what's causing it. so even if people wanted kids we are going to have a fertility crisis among men soon anyways.
The problem truely is the fact that women are treated very badly if they are dependent on someone.
Education is barely a tool to be able to stand up for ourselves.
Women would love to have children and support/raise a family if we are treated respectfully.
The data you are pointing out is the result of unfair treatment and disrespect.
One can agree that women dont require to have careers, if you are teaching men to be fair and respectful.
Women trying to have careers is terribly exhausting. You cant even imagine what we have to endure. Things come to/agree for men easily in this regard.
So just try to keep your sisters/mothers/daughters/friends safe, respected and comfortable, irrespective of their career choices, while they magically do what they can do.
Some of us know we would not be good mothers, some of us have mental illness and other struggles so it would definitely not be healthy or smart to bring a child into the world. Secondly, relationships are not what they used to be. Men and women no longer value long-lasting relationships anymore, with the rise of hookup culture it has taught us to treat relationships like flavors we can pick and choose from when in reality none of us are exactly easy to love. It takes real work and commitment to make things work, even in the best of relationships.
I could be a good mother even with my personal trauma and challenges. I just don’t want to spend 18+ years of my life living round someone else’s clock. I can’t even stick in a job for too long. I didn’t choose to be born so I just want to experience life for myself through my eyes at my pace with all my senses without worrying someone is depending on me and my choices ✍🏻
Children have an amazing ability to force people to grow up and be less selfish because someone else relies on you to live.
One of the major issues in modern western culture is that we value being young and free with no responsibilities and, ultimately no limits/hedonism. I look fondly on my youth, but as a 40 year old father of two with a loving wife; my life is infinitely better and I’m a better, more responsible person (and thus better for society) than when I was in my 20s.
We need to encourage all parties to be more personally responsible with our choices in life, and get people to grow up.
@@lt.2992 at least you're honest about being selfish.
@@BENR8108 not always... plenty of selfish and useless parents out there...
Yup.. people never recognise there is alternate to incel.. femcel. Annoying that always incels get the heat and femcels are forgotten. 😔
I would love a child, but never met a supportive partner. My ex husband completely drained my account. I mourn not having the opportunity, but I made the selfless decision not to have a baby just to have one in an irresponsible situation.
Some dont want them, it is their right !!!!
I love being childfree but we're all different. Respect to parents and childfree people.
Isn't childless correct? Like you don't call homeless people home free... Asking cos eng not my native.
@@kiroshki I've mostly heard "childfree" so I think that's the widely used term
@@kiroshki But you day lactose free for lactose intolerant. Childless is general. Yes, childfree people are childless. But childfree adds meaning. They are free of children, because children would be a bab choice for them, a burden.
@@kiroshki childfree is the term used for people choosing not to have kids. If you search in Google you will find a lot about it
@@kiroshki Not the same :) Childfree means they are free of children. They are not less of anything, in fact having children would make their life lesser. Homeless people mostly tend to want homes but struggle to access them, hence the home*less* part. Homeless people can also call themselves nomads, gypsies etc. They crave the freedom of no fixed abode so they would be deemed, in a way, homefree ...just different terminology is used.
I'm a 23 year old male, and a senior undergrad in college. My wife is 21 and 2 months pregnant. Was not planned, but we are very excited and a little anxious. Thank you Jordan, for offering your tools of wisdom. Your work has helped me become the man I need to be for my new family.
And of course, thanks Chris. Love the show. Keep up the great work.
Congratulations. I am also 21 year old woman, want same but finding a man is difficult for me
You are lucky to have become a husband and a father at a young age. God bless you and your family!
@Alicia Brady agreed, college is wildly overrated, now more than ever. It just happened to be the right fit for me. I am a STEM major so I can more or less avoid the garbage coming out of university humanity departments.
I'm always telling my little sister to go to a trade school instead.
dang I'm almost 23 i could not imagine actually being married at 23 never mind a kid on the way hell if i get married before 35 that would be a big achievement
Congratulations.
Better to be single and Child-less than to be a single mom. So idk if that's necessarily a bad thing. Its lonely yes, but at least you dont have to fight for the survival of you and your child because you didnt choose a good father.
If you don't want to be a single mom then don't sleep with Tyrone the convicted felon without any commitment.
For some reason women love to chase bad boys then be bitter when they're cheated on.
@@steen275
You act as if that’s the only type of man who would make a woman a single mother. Or are you a bitter incel?
Having kids doesn't guarantee that they'll be there when you get old
So true. Visit a nursing home sometime. 😢
But also our society isn't a child rearing society it's a work work work society. It's too fast paced and expensive to live.
And yet, the greedy, corrupt elites still expect people - tired from work and with little or no money due to bills & debt - to have children. To breed more slaves so their high Babylon towers can go higher while the poor souls will get crushed under the massive weight.
And if they refuse to breed, the elites will simply import immigrants from the Third World - indeed, they prefer immigrants as they see them as an endless supply of cheap labor (even though fertility rates are also declining in the Third World as more people get educated and are lifted out of poverty).
@@PedroOrtega1993 It's truly absurd.
@@kw5961 Yes. It goes to show how out of touch with reality those rich fools are and we - the simple folk who merely want to live a peaceful life - have to pay the price for their corrupt arrogance.
@GhillieWorm I would rather have Yellowstone erupt or a comet impact (even one as big as the dinosaur killer) than to let society keep on going downward and downward - they are trying to make pedophilia a "legal science" for crying out loud!
@@PedroOrtega1993 the real scary thing Pedro the Global Elites who run us ? they don't need 7.7 billion people to rule this planet they can easily lose 7.2 Billion and would be fine with just half a billion people so they are not worried about Population decline they will always have enough supply of cheap labor
I am mature enough to know that I have no desire to have or raise children. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with me, I just choose that for myself.
BS.
@@paulb7207get a life Paul
He is talking about what was happening 30 years ago. Now less women want to sacrifice their dreams for family. They want a man who is giving 50% to the family so that they can give 50% to the family.
it really does take a village to raise kids, mothers need lots of communal support, life in the West with jobs and suburban alienation has removed all that, being a mother in suburbia without communal support is too hard
I find Japan fascinating in this sense. Due to their cultures emphasis on education, they're about a decade or two ahead of us when it comes to this issue. Herbivore men didn't just appear from thin air, they were reaction to broad society changes.
You're already beginning to see the same thing in the west. Women, generally speaking, don't date down, so in order to compete with, and outpace, women who are make the same as, or in some cases even more than, them men need to put in even more time and effort. A lot of younger men just don't want to sink 70-80 hours a week into work just to pull in a marginally higher paycheque, all for the sake of getting a girlfriend or wife they'll never see because they're too busy working.
@@starrisesky dont bring rich celebrities into this. They don't have the same constraints as 99% of the other people
@@starrisesky Clearly this is a general rule, also if you marry before you carry this is usually not a problem.
@@starrisesky Which is why it's so rare for women to date down. There are a few exceptions of course, there is to practically everything, but it holds true for the vast majority.
Should probably also make a distinction between casual dating and a committed relationship.
Dating down means less education and financial earnings, statistically, black women date down at high rates. Anecdotally I have seen bw date/marry down and end up single mothers. Even though I love Chris Williamson's podcast I think there is definitely a cultural aspect of the show that does not include women like myself. I do not think the answer to the childless problem is asking women to date down.
Ye what is the point in having kids and family if i cant be with them
We got married when my wife was 29. She had our first child at 33 and our second at forty. The first was very easy, but four subsequent miscarriages were painful which is why there was a seven year gap. The second child was a difficult pregnancy too.
Evolution has done this to prevent kids with birth defects from being born. This is actually a good thing.
My mother had me at 39, and I was the second and only successful pregnancy out of six attempts.
My father remarried at 36. They tried 2-3 years to have a child. Suffering major loss. Including losing a child at 6 months. They were eventually successful in having my brother. The toll it took on her mentality was devastating.
As a 33 yr guy I'm not married and don't have kids but I can say that my mom had me when she was my age and her mother had her when she was 40yr however a few years after my mom had me she tried again but miscarried and required a hysterectomy so she was never able to try again so I'm their only kid other than though I'd say that everybody is different some women can have kids older and some can't there's no way to know for certain but I think a lot of people my age " the millennials" don't care about marriage, kids and family etc it's just doesn't matter to them and certainly doesn't have any value to them.
@@fraserfir19 you are so right. I agree! Women who have kids older live longer that is why they can have kids older. The healthier woman and man, the chances of having a healthy baby increases. The women in my family have had kids in their 40s (one had her last one at 49!). But the men were healthy too. And we are mixed genetically from two continents for several generations, so I wonder if that has had a role. Women have always had kids till they stopped their cycles. Just we lived shorter lives then. Also, it is expensive to have families now. This is common in all developed countries. Not sure why we are all shocked. It has been like this for a few decades.
I had my first child at 21 years old, my second at 26 and I hope having one or two more before I hit 35. Being a mom is the best thing I experienced in my life, this is my full time job
Same here. It's an amazing life to watch your little love bugs learn and become their own people.
This is lovely ❤
Rich people can do whatever they want with zero consequences. Is hard for them to understand the strugles of normal folks
@@AnaSchultz-kx9tq what are you talking about ?
you look like you like to get pregnant lol@@mrsraven9169
Dam this whole video was 🔥
It's ridiculous for any man (or woman) to tell someone they will regret not having kids. I never wanted kids and neither did my husband of almost 20 years. We are perfectly happy world travelers. I'm not going to have kids just in case I need someone to take care of me the last few years of my life. Most Americans don't take care of their parents, this is evident in the overcrowded nursing homes.
Preach. The way I see it, they are bitter about having kids themselves and that's why they trying to use shame/fear to guilt childfree people into having kids. They cant stand seeing childfree people living their life they want. Ever noticed how their comments often come off as condescending too like their words must be correct and factual even though statistics shown otherwise?
@@renek2913 - You think people without kids don't sound bitter? Often justifying their existence with vapid materialism. Making little jabs about all the extra sleep they get without kids. Making cope arguments about how kids are no guarantee of anything. Calling parents selfish that they would expect their kids reciprocate care to them in old age. As if these same childless hypocrites won't be relying on parents with kids to look after them in nursing homes.
@@ThermicLightthey never said that lol. no need to make a whole paragraph bc ur upset
@@nekesa6429 - Oh please as if there wasn't self righteous indignance written all over their comment. No one is forcing you to read a whole paragraph lol. If your attention span struggles to go that far then maybe move on to something vapid to your liking. 🤗